Idk, when I wrote the initial piece, the only feedback I got was to include more dialogue and have less build up. This is mostly due to the nature of the Awakening support conversations. All of them had what seemed to be short interactions (IRL time) but could have taken days in game time. I see why it seems like it's fifteen seconds and I would definitely love to polish it, but as a support conversation I think it gets the job done. If you want, I can send a more "completed" version for you to read. Thanks for the feedback.
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