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Hanz

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Posts posted by Hanz

  1. I haven't gone downstairs yet and opened anything, so I will update this when I do. Last night I got the stuff from my girlfriend though:

    • Dwight Schrute Bobble head
    • She knitted me The Fourth Doctor's scarf

    EDIT: Just went downstairs.

    • Hellboy II: The Golden Army
    • Star Wars: The Clone Wars
    • Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
    • A bunch of tools and stuff for model making
    • Wii Points Card

  2. This broadcast is for humankind. Cybermen now occupy every landmass on this planet; but you need not fear. Cybermen will remove fear. Cybermen will remove sex, and class, and colour, and creed. You will become identical. You will become like us. We are human-point-2. Every citizen will recieve a free upgrade. You will become like us. We are the Cybermen.

    Cyberman.jpg

    Delete! Delete!

  3. I’ve heard "women and children first". But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

  4. I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father... battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

  5. Every year I do research to determine which toy will be the most popular of the Christmas season. This year, it's a doll: half girl, half unicorn. Catch phrase: "my horn can pierce the sky." Pathetic. I bought out every store in the area over the past couple of weeks, and, as lazy parents become more desperate, I will sell them, at an enormous profit. Isn't that right, princess?

  6. I saw "Wedding Crashers" accidentally. I bought a ticket for "Grizzly Man" and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cause that’s the thing about bear attacks... they come when you least expect it.

  7. When I die, I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

  8. Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

  9. What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier, it’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business; she’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come, and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada – I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard: I have a son, and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadéro. She’s been waiting for me all these years, she’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.

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