Judas

I attempted to go to sleep but I woke up six times in cold sweats when I realized I had left you guys on a cliffhanger. I just want to let you know that that corgi ended up dying a grueling, agonizingly slow death, but everything turned out okay becaus ehis mangled skeleton has made a lovely chandelier for my sex dungeon. Anyway back to sleep xoxo

I believe that in narrowing your focus to such a specific section of my ouevre you miss a great deal of the overarching artistic narrative of my work. Just because The Legend of the Feralaxians was a best-selling hit doesn't mean you should ignore the wit and literary weight of such thought-provoking tour de forces like Hurt and Heal Africa or that time I spammed chat in a desperate bid to get Nightmare to shed his widely-famed miracle tears so that I could nurse my dying corgi I had adopted back to life.

because of your generous donation i will confess to you my sins And I quote: "Trolling/Spam Sarcasm with no benefit to the conversation other than to irk people" "Inappropriate topics and offensive comments." "Pointless post in serious discussion topic." "Chain-letter spamming." "Necroposting, spam, trolling." clearly i am getting rave reviews if roger ebert wasn't dead from debilitating face cancer he would be extolling my cinematic virtues right now

if diet soda was a god i would sacrifice my firstborn child to it while shouting "have mercy upon us o mighty baal" in conclusion you're wrong

>> no change to warn level amateur stuff. if you're not being e-arrested for being an internet crime mafia thief murderer then it doesnt even count in fact, if someone edited my warn level but didn't give me bonus points, i would LITERALLY (this is not figurative!!) attempt suicide. i mean what an insult!

if you've ever driven the 5 through los angeles at a time other than nobody's alive o'clock then you would know that holy what the hell there are too many cars how does america have that many cars SO IT IS REASONABLE that i have run into traffic that is an argument that i believe will stand in any court of law

sorry there was a lot of traffic on the 5 i got held up but i am here now and i need YOUR donations in order to help this righteous cause achieve lovely beautiful delicious fruition

hello i am an edgy rebel who your parents wouldnt like. in order to carefully calculate this public image i need people to instantly recognize me as dangerous and morally corrupt. thus, with your financial support, i am formally petitioning the mods to make my warn level public for all to see. HELP I AM A RICH MONEYBAGS HOW DO I DONATE i am not really sure i have never run a kickstarter before but just email me some money and the internet should sort it out OH MY GOSH IS INTERNET NOT RECOGNIZED AS A WORD whoa dude type in internet and it appears with a red underline whaaaaat theeee fuuuuck how is that not a word on an INTERNET FORUM ridiculous whoa okay its only when there's no caps Internet for example is not redlined so the forums arent retarded their just grammar nazis REWARDS TIERS $5 Tier - Acolyte of Justice: backers of this tier will receive an internet post dedicated to them with at least one (1) image i found on reddit attached to it $10 Tier - Dangerous Hooligan Who Should Be Locked Away But Won't Be Because He Is So Suave and Cool: previous reward + a free grade school sports trophy from my cabinet LIMITED SUPPLY, YOUR CHOICE OF SOFTBALL, SOCCER, OR ONE TIME WHEN I TRIED OUT VOLLEYBALL BUT HATED IT $25 Tier - Official Petition Supporter of Immense Wealth: previous rewards + free something from my refrigerator it will probably be good stuff though like diet soda so get excited $1000000 Tier - Azorius-Level Justice League Superman Batman Hero King: I will find a Russian OR Chinese bride (YOUR CHOICE!) for you to marry and i will also send you an electric guitar so you can start a new career as a rockstar musician composer These rewards are BACKER-ONLY so get them while supplies last. ALSO DEAR MODS PLS MAKE MY WARN LEVEL PUBLIC BUT DONT BAN ME BECAUSE I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE SO SO BAD

i put on my waifu dress on over my skimpy three-sizes-short bikini then i gel up my ridiculous pink hair before leaping into the air (rhyme!) over the camera for a panty shot and then i slam my giant keyrune sword down on a cutesy demon enemy while closing my eyes and crying something so moe NEXT TIME ON NIPPON NO GOKU

dude i hope everyone understands the immense difficulty of the herculean feat you have just performed. last time i tried to bake one of those multilevel cakes it was declared architecturally unsound by several independent contractors and i lost like fifteen limbs in the process. plus my gosh you made it blue that is almost unbelievably difficult what an attention to detail

for the longest time, everyone knew that sierra mist was for the wimps and the wussies, and we even had a law round here for awhile that anyone seen with a sierra mist bottle could legally be beaten to death in order to ensure survival of the fittest seriously, sierra mist is just sugar water. if you want a light soda, go for sprite. sierra mist is like drinking ultra light beers or smoking ultra light cigarettes.... its like, if you don't enjoy doing something, why are you trying to do it? america wasn't built off of half-assing things. america was build by manly men with abs on their shoulders and ballistic missiles on their pelvises and women who stayed at home tending to the children and never spoke a word to their husband-masters. there's a reason that "coca-colaization" is a thing... its because coke knocked down the berlin wall and gave those commies a what-for. coke is the product of choice for us patriots who like to spend the summer holidays sending people we don't know to invade countries in the middle-east on a whim. coke is what people who supply arms to any anti-communist group no matter how totalitarian or evil drink. coke is for america. do you know who drinks sierra mist? liberal arts hipsters who like to talk about their non-art as they read their post-poems. but guess what today i found out there is a diet sierra mist yes diet sierra mist ie diet carbonated water water for people who are on a diet and don't want to have too much of, oh wait, there is nothing listed on the nutritional information because you are drinking the liquid equivalent of the void of space if you purchase this product i just want to know why you hate freedom and why you would pay money for a soda if you are so hellbent on not having soda

i am out fighting your wars and keeping you people safe and this is all you have to say about your military? pathetic do you think its easy not posting very often? do you think just anyone can walk off the street and forum lurk? this is TOUGH WORK and i want to be appreciated for it

what are you talking about. staring at panties is an all-american pasttime and it is going to the primary way i bond with my future son hey there sport how was your day at school whoa look at that slut's jimmies i'd love to smell those in a dark room while wearing a dress and cat ears

As an English major (read: hungry vagabond with no future prospects that sincerely looks forward to living off of your tax money via welfare checks), sometimes I chemically alter turns of phrase in order to make stunning comments of razor-sharp wit. Here, in one of my favorite pieces, I decided to use the saying "eyes on the prize," and use that metaphorical, non-physical conception of "looking towards something," and change it to a woman's most private of garments. Therefore, knickers ain't knockers. tldr panties

this is horrible advice. it is rude and selfish to first-something in a competitive environment. you are making the experience less fun for those individuals please. learn a character in normals first. normals are laid-back fun, but ranked is ranked, and some people actually care about their elo

right? why wouldn't she want that? i'm always thinking to myself, man, i've always wanted the perfect guy with a long mane like a pony that i can brush all day as i whisper "you are my valiant steed" in his ear all day. you know? like, every people ever want to date individuals they think are awesome. if you think this is a bad quality you are either a) a hypocrite or b) a sad mcsadface pessimist who must cry a lot about all the pessimism you just pessimisted all over yourself sometimes a girl wants a good guy friend who keeps his eyes off her knickers. what is this, a geneva convention violation? like, haven't you ever wanted to have an awesome friend before? what's so bad about that? boyfriends and friends are two separate things that someone can want at the same time. that is, like, that is a possible thing that you can do. weird huh IF ONLY SHE COULD SEE BEHIND MY GENTLEMENLY EXTERIOR AND NOTICE THAT I TOO WANT TO GET IN HER PANTS JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER GUY EVER AAAAAHHH THE CRUELTYYYY

sounds like you're pretty religious if you can't even take the time to read my topic before you start talking about how much you love the lord your god our father in heaven forever and ever amen

So today I experienced horrible discrimination. I was walking to my Critical Quantumchemical Theory class, and I thought, why not, I'd stop by the campus bookstore to try and buy a Snickers bar because I was hungry. My father used to tell me when he was on his deathbed, if you're ever hungry, just go... just... like... get a Snickers bar. So I was doing that. Anyway I walked in and there were all these gross nerds geeking out with books or whatever it is that these computerfreaks do in a textings store, but I ignored them and I grabbed my Snickers bar and put it on the counter, but he was like, "Is that it?" And he looked at me, like, what are you doing. So I told him that I was hungry and I just wanted a Snickers. So he laughs, he LAUGHS at me, then he has the gall to -- get this -- he gives me a receipt. Like, oh yeah, dude, I am going to come back here and ask for a return on my Snickers bar. Yeah, I get it, like, I was just getting a candy bar at geekcity bookstore plaza, but here you are, putting me on the books, listing me in the cop information records. What am I, a criminal? For buying a candy bar? I swear, some people just get sick seeing a strong-willed, independent woman these days, that they're looking for any chance to get her down. They get all their arrogant menpride and they think that a woman can't just go outside by herself without a burka and buy a candy bar, or go to class on a college campus by herself and use all the knowledge centers and learning professors WITHOUT a boyfriend present. It's sick and it's disgusting. So I am going to do the rational thing and I am embarking on a campaign to ruin this cashier's entire life because of the emotional rape he has put me through. I have the receipt right here, in case they try to sue me over false credit debits, and the cashier's name was Artemo, A. He was an el mexicano heritageo (which means in american "a mexican from the north plainslands of mexican"), so the "A." probably stands for Edgar or Ernesto. Here's where you come in. I need you to google query Edgar Ernesto Artemo and flag him as inappropriate content so that he goes to jail. I'm serious. Go on your tumblrbook and tweet all your friends to do this too. If we come together today, we can stop gender discrimination. Artemo 2012. Let's bring him down.

or tits. you can also have tits. that is an okay substitute for personalities. unfortunately the difference between tits and a limerick is that your penis fits in between tits

i prefer calling people by the wrong names on purpose that was a good movie wasnt it JOSEPH my name is not joseph FUCK YOU JOSEPH YES IT IS I KILLED YOUR FAMILY PETS AND DOGS YOU FAGGOT with this strategy i have never once had to learn someone's name

some people get attention just by having okay personalities you know you could try that

FENTONNNNNN

i thought this was a thread with boys in it