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Barney Calhoun

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About Barney Calhoun

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    Catch me later, I'll buy you a beer.
  • Birthday August 26

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  • Favorite Fire Emblem Game
    Blazing Sword

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  1. *Garyl, Oni and Anaxagoras walk in* Oni: *Whispering* Hey dad, you think you might be able to turn Keitaro into a pig? Garyl: *Whispering* What would that change? Oni: *Whipering* Haha. True enough. Oni: Hey, guys! So what are we doing today? Garyl: Yeah, I hate not having leads. Anaxagoras: I do believe it is a sensible course of action to inquire as to what our actions will be today.
  2. (Cool. I hope we get someone else in on this.) 100th POST!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!! Garyl: H-ugh... I musta passed out... Oni: Yeah, dad, you sure did. Garyl: Anaxagoras may be useful, but he sure isn't a good brewer. You're not supposed to go out in one beer... Oni: Yeah, and you're a veteran, too. Garyl: How long have you been awake, son? Oni: I dunno, an hour, maybe? I've been waiting for you to get up. Anaxagoras: I'm dearly sorry about the alcohol. Oni: OH GOD!!!! JESUS CHRIST, DOC, WARN ME NEXT TIME BEFORE YOU TELEPORT HERE AND GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK! Anaxagoras: Oh, I'm sorry. Anyways, we should probably go find the others. Garyl: Y-yeah.... that sounds like.... like a good idea. Oni: Dad, you're pretty hung over. Garyl: I- I'm fine... Oni: Ok... whatever you say.
  3. (UGHHHHHHHH.... this is getting somewhat boring with only our characters. SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS TO JOIN, DAMMIT!) Anaxagoras: After I drop off Garyl at the beds, I think I'll walk around the castle and get myself familiar. Maybe jump-scare the heck out of a few guards. Oni: I- I don't think that's such a good idea... Anaxagoras: Ok, fine... I'll settle for just walking around.
  4. (It's Orson's armor.) Oni:Yeah, but she's prety.... Ok... doc, mind carrying dad? Anaxagoras: What was that, Oni? And yes, I'll keep him in my Time-Space storage until we get to our rooms. Oni: Ok. Anaxagoras: I guess I'll walk around. I mean, I'm assuming you found out I don't sleep by now. Oni: By the way, Anaxagoras, could you explain to me and them what species you are? Anaxagoras: Yes, I'm from the Planet Nubell, but my mother was human, hence my human skeleton. Oni: Interesting. Anaxagoras: Indeed, Nubell was a great place, but my people migrated to earth and were eventually wiped out. I'm the only known living being of my species, but even then I'm only half-Nubellan. The people were born with great power over Space and Time, and were, with practice, able to easily travel in time. I can go as far back as about 5000 years. Any further back would be life-endangering. Oni: Neat. Anaxagoras: Yes, in fact, I came to know your father by the fact that he's my mother's great-(x500)-great nephew. Oni: Cool.
  5. (Yes I am completely aware I'm posting this at 3 am.) Garyl: Ungh.... I think that I should sleep... eh, what am I saying?! I'm awake enough to.... *Garyl collapses on the floor* Anaxagoras: Ummmm..... I think I got him drunk. Oni: You don't say?!
  6. Anaxagoras: Clicks? You have an interesting vocabulary. Oni: Oh yeah, like you don't. I bet she can't say shit in Latin. Garyl: Meanwhile, Anaxagoras CAN! Anaxagoras: Umm....
  7. Anaxagoras: Interesting. It's a large help to have someone else with us. Oni: So it's Laureena, right? Nice to meet you. Garyl: It seems like her magic could be a great asset. Anaxagoras: Indeed. Garyl: I suppose we should introduce ourselves to her. I'm Garyl, an alchemist as some like to call me, this is my son Oni, who's an alchemist in training, and that's Anaxagoras, THE alchemist to end all alchemists. Anaxagoras: I suppose you could call me that. I prefer "Doctor." Oni: Well, he's both. Garyl: True. Oni: But anyways, if you need something made out of thin air, just ask Anaxagoras. Garyl: If you need anything pre-existing to be modified I can do that. Oni: Ummmm.... if you need anything alchemy-related just ask dad or Anaxagoras.... I'm not that good at it...
  8. *Anaxagoras lifts up his hand and an aura appears around it.* (Suddenly, about 10 of the dishes disappear.) Garyl: Wow. You sure ate fast, doc. Anaxagoras: *Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp* Oni: Um.... Garyl: Hmm.... no beer. Mind making some, doc? Anaxagoras: No problem. *Snap* Garyl: Thanks.... now onto the food! Oni: I have the urking feeling something bad's gonna happen to interrupt this.... better eat while I can!
  9. Anaxagoras: I suppose I could use a chance to stretch out my jaw bones further then usual. Food's okay every hundred years. Oni: Wow. This is a nice castle. Garyl: Don't touch anything. Or take anything. Oni: What, you think I'm still a little kid? Garyl: I KNOW you're a thief. But then again, so am I. Anaxagoras: Stercore! I broke my finger. *He grabs his fingerbone and snaps it back into place* Oni: Ugh. Anaxagoras: Much better. I hate when that happens. Garyl: So... where in this place do we eat? Oni: I'm waiting.
  10. Garyl: You're forgetting we're human. 50's more than half of the way. Then again, me and Oni have that anti-aging magic, so... Oni: Yep. Anaxagoras: So, onward to our next destination. Garyl: Indeed. (By the way, the way you write your dialogue really reminds me of the somewhat badly translated dialogue of the english patch for Touhou 2. That's not really a bad thing, but it's interesting.) (Also, did you make your profile picture or was it a request? Just wondering.
  11. DUDE. I'm really glad you're all good. Garyl: Wow.... fighting gods sure is wearing down my old bones. I'm sure glad you started using the anti-aging magic when you were 19, Oni. Oni: H-hey, dad! You're not that old! You're only 50.... I mean.... that's not THAT old, right? Anaxagoras: Older than you think. Garyl: Hey, I mean, doc's like 2000-something, so.... he's older than I AM. Oni: Wow. Garyl: So what now? Where do we go to get the other weapons? Oni: ........................... Garyl: ONI! STOP STARING AT KEITARO'S DAUGHTER! Oni; W-wha? O-oh! Sorry....
  12. Woah... I'm sorry to hear that. Now I feel bad about how pissed I got about the delay. Oh, and I'll edit my post in a second.
  13. Garyl: Woah woah woah! I didn't say kill us all! ha, this is more like it. *4 2000-damage slashes* Anaxagoras: Now, the Goldstein family secret... 4-element blast! *A small tremor explodes beneath Gaeleyna, followed by a few lightning bolts. A pillar of fire rises from the ground, followed by a few wind blades, dealing 62000 damage in all.* (Mind you, this exhausts all of Anaxagoras' MP) Oni: Oh, jeez, doc. Garyl: Hah. Don't mess with the skull doctor. Oni: Now, let's see if I can do anything good... *3 1000-damage slashes* Garyl: She's almost down! Nice job, doc!
  14. Well, have a fun time never understanding half of what's in the game if you ever play it!
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