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Found 28 results

  1. Got a comment? Critique? Something to say? Well, here's the place for it.
  2. This is a thread for the works that I have in the Written Works subforum. Thanks to anyone who offers feedback or constructive criticism. It's really appreciated! I want to improve in any way I can.
  3. This is the Feedback Thread for my work under the title 'Log Entries' linked below. Obviously I'm not opposed to Feedback, or this wouldn't be here. I'll also be using this Thread to explain some of the reasoning behind this particular work as I upload, and answer any questions that I can answer without spoiling anything major. You'll also be able to find this work on DeviantArt if you prefer to leave Feedback there or if something within this work made you want to Favorite it but can't because Serenes doesn't have that feature. The beginning Premise, intentionally not stated due to this being a Metroid work, since Metroid as a series tends to keep opening premises fairly vague(at least, the older ones do), is that Samus Aran discovers a badly-damaged helmet on a destroyed Space Station that somewhat resembles her own, but appears to be made using Luminoth technology instead of Chozo technology. Intrigued, she takes the helmet to her ship and attempts to access the helmet's database in an attempt to see its previous owner's Logbook and discover who it belonged to. To her surprise, not only is the Logbook locked from unwanted access, a feature generally not used for Logbooks(as suggested by the Logbooks of all deceased Federation Troopers discovered in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes being accessible), but the Bio-Sign scanner used to check for access permission somehow recognizes her as someone authorized to access the Logbook. Intrigued, she opens Log Entry 001...
  4. Feedback for my attempts at writing a fantasy novel goes here.
  5. So, I got my fancy forum game set up that is built like an old Fire Emblem game. It's mostly similar to games in Elibe and Magvel. I'm looking to improve the design of it and make sure that it has well-balanced features. We're playing on Casual Mode, by the way. Now, in short, the mechanics of it are like the standard, but with several differences. The damage, hit, and crit formulas are the same. Movement stats and costs are multiplied by 4. Your standard class would have 20 Move, and plains would take 4 Move to traverse. Nothing to it. Classes are different. Every class can only wield a single weapon type, and most promoted classes are capable of equipping a second weapon type. They also have the skill system from the DS titles. The Staff class is capable of both healing and combat. Promotion is done with an item at Level 10, and gives the usual stat boosts and maybe a new weapon, as well as an extra skill. Also, the main classes(Merc, Archer, Warrior, Cavalier, Mage, Dark Mage, and Thief) have three different choices when it comes to promotion. They all have different weapons, skills, and movement. Weapons are mostly the same, but there's a few different ones. Swords, "Spears", Axes, and Bows haven't changed, but Staves and Magic are different. Oh, and there's Daggers. Staves are like in Heroes; they can heal or be used for a weak but accurate attack at a Range of 2. Magic weapons are called Gemstones, and they only have a Range of 2. Daggers have low might, but all of them have a critical bonus and a special effect. They can also be thrown, but this cuts their Might in half. Tomes exist, but are functionally the same as gemstones. Weapon Rank Bonuses are also a thing. Starting from Rank C, ranks will increase the statistics of an equipped weapon. Swords get Mt, Axes get Hit, and everything else gets a little bit of both. There's also the +5 Crit at S-Rank. Stats are the same, don't worry about that. Supports are the same; they're affinity based. They also give +2.5% Crit and Crit Evade per rank. By the way, here's a picture of one of my maps. Those were the mechanics for gameplay, now I'll go into what I do in Character Creation and Options. First, everyone gets a Personal Skill. These give characters a bit more uniqueness. A list of Personal Skills is nearby if anyone can't make one up. They are also able to change their bases and growths slightly, to give them a role. There's a limit on how much can be changed, so we don't get crazy stats. At the end of Character Creation, all players are given +5 HP and +3 Luck to help them survive. When it comes to deployment for a battle, usually only 6 people are able to join at one time, due to me not wanting to manage so many players at once. By the way, there's a capacity of 9 Players and 2 NPCs. Gameplay Options are preference-based things that affect the gameplay. I ask them to players while they're getting ready. The options include: 1. When rolling d100s, should Lower or Higher rolls be better? 2. Should there be a penalty for being defeated in battle? 3. Would you like a Lord(me) to join you? 4. Should potions heal more, or last longer? 5. Would you like the HP cap to be increased from 60 to 80? 6. Should all Promotion items be replaced with Master Seals? Gaiden Chapters, or Paralogues exist. There is no hidden condition needed to unlock them; they're just automatically presented to the players. Should the option for a Lord to join the party be picked, they will never be present during a Gaiden Chapter, as they aren't related to the main story at all. There's no Rescue option. There just isn't. Now aside from you all giving possible feedback to my system, there's a couple of questions I would like answered: 1) Magic has 2 Range, but my brother says it should be 1-2. I believe that it should be locked to 2 because of how hard it hits but now i'm unsure... what should I do? 2) How do I come up with the passive abilities for S-Rank weapons? They've got like, +5 in a stat, but i'm not sure what to give each weapon. 3) The main lord has 9 Con and wields a "Heavy Rapier", which functions like a standard Rapier. The Might of it is currently 8. Is that alright?
  6. Okay, so this is the feedback thread to Shadow Tactician: To Follow Fate. The prequel to Shadow Tactician: To Challenge Fate. It has been posted on A03 in full.
  7. Here is the feedback thread for Shadow Tactician: To Create Fate the third part in Caleb's adventures. The prologue is a recap of events thus far. Thank you to everyone who has provided both feedback and reading. Story Thread is here.
  8. I was so stupid that I forgot to make a second thread for people interested in my world-building notes. So here you go. Original Thread
  9. Hi guys, it's NeoVerdin. This is the feedback thread for my story. Link to the story Edit: I figured out how to add buttons, yay! But the original link back to the story is still there above the button. If you like, hate, or want to comment about the story, feel free to post in here. As stated in the author's note, I will post it in ff.net as well, but my priority is here, so expect a few days of lag over there if you see me posting new story content here. Also, if you have any constructive criticism about the writing itself, I would love to hear from you. My posting will be pretty infrequent because of grad school, but I'll see what I can do!
  10. This is the feedback for my new story: Link to Fire Emblem: The Grimleal's return: A few things to keep in mind: I am NOT confirming any ships whatsoever, there's a few that you can probably guess but they will not be mentionned directly in this story. The chapters will be written like if they would be written in a video game Robin is female because I want her too. Robin could also be male, it has no effect on the story. This story is not an explanation of what happened before what is shown on the Awakening Drama CD. In fact I would say it's something entirely different, basically of how I would see everything that happened before they go back to the future. Have a good read and post if you find any mistakes!
  11. I was thinking of making a Fan Game with popular characters and I thought what sort of features would be good? I'm thinking of using a lot of modern game play elements such as pair ups, my units, and child units but I also wanted a lot of new interesting stuff to make it sort of unique from other fan games. The plot would probably be pretty basic overall but with the unique game specific characters' personality and growth would be the main focus besides the actual gameplay. I have a link here for feedback on some things but if anyone has any other sorts of ideas or suggestions I'd greatly appreciate them, as well as what already existing characters would people want to see make an appearance? Link: http://www.strawpoll.me/darthax3l
  12. Hello! This is the place to leave feedback and suggestions for my Fire emblem Heroes Supports and Fanfiction. Feel free to leave requests for things you want to see as well :)
  13. Thank you, Fire Emblem. I'm on a play-through right now of Radiant Dawn and remembering how excellently written the story is. It's fast-moving, with lots of twists and turns, and importantly, a ton of interesting character development, especially for Pelleas, Micaiah, and Elincia. Thanks to my healthy obsession with Fire Emblem, I actually was inspired to start writing a novel, a steampunk-fantasy crossover with a lot of war and magic about four years ago. Four years later, I have finally made a hard copy of my novel available on Amazon (along with the previously available eBook). Here's the link to the hard copy. Here's the link to the eBook (part 1). Here's a link to my blog (with posts about it). A number of the plotlines are super fire emblem inspired, so I figured I would self-promote here and also be happy that I love Fire Emblem and this community was actually very significant in helping me achieve a huge dream of mine! The "back cover": The uncompromising idealist Samuel and his lazy but kindhearted brother, Owen, move in with their uncle, an ambitious man living in a magnificent medieval castle. When the brothers' curiosity gets the best of them, they discover he plans a military coup of the town they might call home: idyllic Cadivel, by the rough edges of the sea. Samuel and Owen, a fledgling magician, are eager to stop him but find themselves powerless against his deadly magic. Yet Samuel will not give up the fight for Cadivel after meeting a beautiful girl he cannot leave behind. Though only renowned newcomers from the distant Salt Empire have the strength and resources to shift the tide of the war, Samuel possesses a quality that could save Cadivel from an even greater threat. Cadivel tells a story of epic scale and intimate scope: stunning landscapes, scheming politics, and fragile love. It also sings a poem about the sea and the unexpected traits it may possess in a world of magic. The part II (sequel) "back cover" (SPOILERS but more Fire Emblem elements lol): Probably the biggest Fire Emblem influence lies in an initial subplot which turns out to be the main plot: the princess Linde, exiled by her family, with only the companionship of the ex-General Russell Lemming and the fledgling magician Evander, seeks to overturn her father's dangerous and destructive war. They must gather allies, fight battles, etc. etc... Anyways, thanks so much for reading this overlong post. The point is, I wrote a NOVEL thanks to FE. Woot. And if anyone is interested in reading, the eBook is super cheap and I think Amazon just slashed the price of the hard copy, which has parts I & II, to about $13 ($$$ is going to a fund for me to hire artists to make dope ass character art). Also, if anyone writes fantasy book reviews, or blogs about books, I want reviews, so you could totally get a free copy... Even though it's a finished product, I always love getting feedback on my writing, so if you do choose to read, please consider messaging me your honest thoughts and feedback.
  14. Hello, welcome to my story thread titled "Tale of the Wolves". It's a medieval fiction novella divided into chapters written by yours truly. So without further ado, enjoy! Prologue - The "Hero" Chapter 1 - Mining for Gold This is actually the first time I ever posted a writing online so any kind of feedback or critique is highly appreciated. Tell me if you liked (or disliked) the story and whether or not you're looking forward to their continuation. Cheers and thank you.
  15. Hi, This is the creator of this RP, to any lovely spectators: 1) Are you enjoying this RP 2) Are you rooting for a particular character/who is your favorite character 3) Would you watch a ufotable adaptation of this :p 4) Wanna place bets on who a certain servant who hasn't been revealed yet is etc. 5) Who do you think will win the War? Just so you guys know this RP is very much meta, we as role players only know as much as our characters, to keep it as authentic as possible Ah well, signing off! :)
  16. Hey everybody, here's just a dump of the completed portraits for my (currently unmade) hack, Fire Emblem: Conquest of the Five Kingdoms. If you have any questions or comments on a specific sprite, just let me know!
  17. Going to be making this a more dedicated thread where I can post progress and such. Still very much open to critique. [spoiler=Old Topic]I'm rather new to this whole spriting thing, so forgive me if I've made any rookie mistakes. These are a handful of the character mugs I've been working on. To be clear, I'm looking for ways to make the mugs look cleaner, things like coloring and shading, etc. Please let me know if there's a format more convenient to critique I can upload in. EDIT: Two more I think could use some work Just a couple of things to note, I realize the outline color of the Cavalier isn't consistent with the others. I will adjust it when I go back to make changes. I also don't care about the 15 color limit, as I intend to use these portraits in FEXNA when it's finished. [spoiler=10/17/16 Update]
  18. Hello! I thought since everyone was sharing their own stories that I might also have a go. I'd appreciate any sort of feedback on how you feel about it. I'm not too committed to the story per se, but any interest or reviews will help push me to do more. Here's where you'll find it: The Story Link
  19. My bad for the delay on this: this is my first time here, and I didn't quite realise I'd have to make one of these. Makes sense in hindsight, but still... Anyway, if you have anything to say about this story, you're welcome to say it. I aspire to write professionally one day, so any criticism is appreciated. Keep in mind, though, that as a personal preference, this story is pre-written, so consider this when offering suggestions. I will take on board minor ideas, but probably not anything major.
  20. Hi, I'm requesting active participation for the story in this link: http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=63004 I'm working on polishing my story and I need your help in making it beautiful.
  21. So I have been bouncing ideas for my book that i've been working on and off for the last several years and I decided last year to make a hack based off my story. Problem is, I'm not a good writer, at least I dont think i am, and was hoping the fine lads and lasses here would give me some feedback and help me sort through my ideas into coherent writings and sentences. As for the story, I've always had trouble summarizing the story in a few sentences. But the basics are, hero ends up in new realm/dimension/universe, has to solve political problems as well as personal problems in order to be able to go back to his own realm/dimension/universe. He ends up on the continent of Eldrahgo where the five kingdoms are currently on the verge of war. The reason our hero, Richard, is important to the plot is because his arrival to the continent triggers the impending war that will wipe out life on that continent. I do have various names, backstories of characters, and historical information about various locaitons in this worl dof mine. I can also tell you what the main character does when and where and what happens. I can also list big name historical events and upcoming battles, events, names and information on various factions and groups. I just can't seem to summarize everything into a few sentences. I already made a topic on my hack over at concepts in the fan project selection. It will be updated shortly as I'm finalizing the next patch update. Are there questions I can answer that would enable others to better understand my story? If there are more details that I can/should list, please let me know. I'm pretty sure what I written above is rather confusing but I hope that those who read it are able to help me sort out my story. Thanks for taking the time to read and if anything doesn't make sense, just post here or PM me.
  22. Hi o/ I'm new to this site, registered because I just only recently discovered it, and because I recently started working on a fangame in FEXP. So this topic is where I'll toss my finished gifs/spritesheets/customs for archival/critique; hopefully I'll see myself improve as I continue doing this. Note: The intended fangame will be a crossover fangame from a number of different series, so most of the sprites posted here will be of existing characters. I do not own any of these characters, all rights go to their original creators, etc. All sprites are done in GraphicsGale. Note that as these sprites are meant to be used with FEXP, unless specified, they will not adhere to 16 colour limits, and therefore will likely look terrible when placed in a GBA. Any and all feedback would be appreciated, thanks ^^ #1: Weiss Schnee (RWBY) [25-52ish unique colours] [COMPLETED & PUBLIC] #2: Ryougi Shiki (Kara No Kyoukai) [15 COLOURS] [idle Sprite only, due for anim]
  23. This is my first hack so, I'm looking for feedback on it. What I did right, what I did wrong, stuff you liked, stuff you hated, anything like that. Features: -1 Chapter/Prologue -Custom Dialogue -Original Map -Terrible Writing/Story -Bad Jokes (And not the good kind of bad jokes) -And less RNG based combat (See more details below) All in all, it's mostly just an interactive Fanfic. Screenshots: There are some known issues that I'll probably fix if this project is ever updated/expanded, but they mostly seemed like minor issues that wouldn't cause too many problems while playing this one chapter hack. Known Issues: -Yes/No answer box is completely broken. Appearance wise and functionally. -Ballista can cause issues on the first turn you enter it, if you choose not to attack. More about combat changes: Weapons have been edited to be indestructible, always hit, and never crit. My hope is this will create a different type of strategic gameplay that relies more on the player's ability to strategize, predict, and learn verses a dice roll. Because of this though, I'm expecting replay value to be very poor compared to other FE games and hacks. Oh, and unfortunately I have no idea how to do set growth rates, so there is still that aspect of RNG. I tried to make this chapter challenging, but not too difficult or dull. Despite having an indestructible staff, enemies come at you fast and can overwhelm you if you play too defensively. Please let me know what you think. I'm eager to hear peoples opinions on the changes to weapons, map design, and enemy placement. The story is just something to get the action going, but feel free to give feedback on that too. I haven't really decided if I'm going to continue this project or not yet, but I had had lots of fun making it, so I'll probably do some more hacking in the future. Thanks for playing!
  24. I finally decided to join the forums. Not only because I want to know and talk to the people in it, but also to help improve the quality and design of its members' game-related projects. You see, I'm not really interested in learning ROM hacking or using FEXP myself, but I certainly enjoy watching YouTube videos related to it. More than a few hours have gone into Klokinator's, Markyjoe1990's, MageKnight404's, Mangs' and other people’s channels. The games tend to be funny and enjoyable. Some even have nice visuals and interesting mechanics. But to be completely honest, I feel the overall quality of them is... well... lacking. Sometimes the writing is appallingly bad. In other instances, the graphics leave much to be desired. And on the worst cases, the game isn't fun to play at all. It seems most of these problems arise from the lack of experience and/or attention to detail from the creators, who in most cases are new to the world of ROM hacking/coding/game development. That I can understand and forgive for two reasons: First, because working on a project for fun and personal satisfaction is an experience we can all relate to and agree with. If you get no enjoyment from an experience and only remain because someone else says so, it becomes a chore. And, unless you're somehow getting paid for doing it, there’s really no reason to continue. Second, because condemning a person for being a beginner is not only unreasonable and unfair, but it's also entirely hypocritical. Every human being starts without knowledge or direction. The community surrounding this person is responsible for providing the resources and information needed to develop one's abilities. A healthy environment full of polite and genuinely interested people is what makes all its members grow and become better. That’s how the great people of history and the societies they built came to be. We all need to start somewhere, and I believe sites like this forum serve that purpose very well. Beginners can make mistakes when starting, as long as they learn from the experience. We expect them to do so. However, there comes a point where inexperience becomes sloth. And that shouldn’t be excused. Intentionally refusing the knowledge when being provided, working on a lazy, unclean and unfocused manner and being uncommitted to a project that already has the interest and following from other people, who have shown support since the beginning and are hoping to see progress, just because "it's easier that way” is completely unacceptable. This community has provided top-quality content in the past, rivaling that of teams with higher budgets and more sophisticated resources. I believe its members are capable of great things if they commit to the task and get organized. But there's a negative reputation, deserved or not, that follows almost every Fire Emblem fan game. The gaming community at large looks at hackers and fan game designers as amateurs, people without aim or focus that work on a whim, who are only wasting potential on another company's intellectual property when they could be working on their own. I disagree with those who think that way. Productions that serve as a tribute to an already existing franchise have just as much value as a completely original game, not only because they're capable of having all the elements of a quality product, but also because they help newcomers hone their skills and reach a higher level of performance in whatever craft they're working with. We, as a community, must work to change this negative way of thinking and show everyone that we're capable of doing great things. I hope the day comes when a Fire Emblem fan game is not seen as lesser form of entertainment when compared to the original, but as it’s equal instead. For now, all I can offer to the people in this forum is advice and support when requested or needed. If you wish to discuss something with me or want feedback on your project, please, let me know. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.
  25. From the creator of Corrupt Theocracy, Blademaster! has created a sequel called Sun God's Wrath in Fe8. Looks really good so I am going to LP it and play it blind. I didn't read everything in moniker's LP but I am more of a gameplay guy anyway so not knowing the history exactly is not a big deal to me, I can still get the gist of it. For more information on the lore and stuff go here: http://serenesforest.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=53190 I will be playing this in hard mode to also be somewhat of a beta tester for that mode and provide feedback as I go. Let's get this shit started. Prologue, laying down the story
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