Ionius was still alive when Patricia went to Faerghus. And we know what happened then. Good freaking LORD lol.
Lambert: Suck it, old bird! I'mma fuck your wife.
Ionius: Which one?
Lambert: The pretty one with the purple eyes and the thiccness. Roar, mofo.
Ionius: (dementia attack) Did the lizard people say something?
Narrator: And little did Lambert know, that he wasn't tapping that anyway because Patricia would constantly say she had a "headache".
This COULD have gone in the 3H board, but then I'd have to omit the shitpost and add serious stuff. So it's here. Feel free to laugh with me, or even add some lore I don't have, but meh.