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"Let me tell you, kid, I fuckin' hate surprises. "I hate when my mornin' coffee's cold. I hate when the connecting bus runs late. I hate when the elevator music is like, that new rock shit. "And you know what surprises I hate more than anythin' else?" "Alien surprises." Ironsights: "Man. Can't fuckin' believe we got hauled out of Malta for a sighting. Once every couple months these days, I swear..." Bayonet: "Bet it's another giant squid." Deadlift: "Heh! Fuckin' nerds." Bayonet: "Let me tell you, you know what I reckon?" Lacklustre: "Oh, here we go..." Bayonet: "Aliens? Nothin' but a government conspiracy. You ever seen an alien before?" Lightning: "Mate, there's video footage and ... and, like, trophies and shit. And there's still craters in most major population centres." Bayonet: "A hoax, mate. Trust me." Stonesthrow: "You guys hear anything?" Bayonet: "No." Lightning: "Nah." Stonesthrow: "Weird, I swear I-" Stonewall: "Ohhh. Fuck." Ferrari: "Wait, she's fuckin' dead?" Bayonet: "It's a hoax! She's just... sleeping." Ferrari: "Sending out a flare!" Stonewall: "RIGHT. OKAY, YOU CUNT. THIS IS WHAT WE ALL TRAINED FOR." Jaws: "Nailed him. Love the explosive... ness. Of these things." Stonewall: "Well, fucking congratulations! I've got a fucking harpoon gun!" Bayonet: "Haha, yeah, nice work shooting at thin air or manta rays or some shit, nerds." Stonewall: "I swear I'll kill you." Ironstride: "Then what's this, then, eh? A fuckin' sculpture?!" Bayonet: "Yep!" Ironstride: "Fine! Then you can walk into it!" Jaws: "Oh, God, they're flanking us, they're flanking us! Uh, man down! Two down! I'm... I'm... uh, returning fire!" Jaws: "Nailed him. Christ, uh. Fuck." Ferrari: "I'm keeping up the flares! Ten left!" Seawalker: "One fired at me!" Lacklustre: "I got him, I got him!" Bigladuptop: "We're gonna get picked off here..." Bayonet: "Guys, is this some kind of hazing ritual? Knock it off." Jaws: "Think this one took a shot at me, but their aim's shit." Jaws: "So's... mine..." Lacklustre: "I'll cover you. This is what we trained for!" Bigladuptop: "HERE'SONEHERE'SONEHERE'SONEHERE'SONE theseUS fUCKINg CoVer ME" Bayonet: "Heh, yeah, fine, I'll empty my clip into the darkness for you. Nerd." Bigladuptop: "I HATE YOU-" Bayonet: "... Carmine?" Bayonet: "Oh my God." Seawalker: "WELCOME TO OUR WORLD, FUCKWIT." Bayonet: "He killed my friend! My one friend! I'll... I'll kill YOU!" Jaws: "I can't get an angle on this bloody thing!" Ferrari: "This... is not the flare gun's strength." Bayonet: "Get back here! You cannot evade justice- aaargh, you stole my kill!" Seawalker: "He ain't evadin' shit with three harpoons in his head, eh?" Seawalker: "Except... I guess they can deal with being on fire okay?" Jaws: "That's the one that got Lacklustre!" Jaws: "And now it's a crater. Bastard." Ironsights: "The hell..." Ironstride: "I'm hit! I'm... I'm..." Blum: *hoarsely* "I'M IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION!" Ironsights: "The shot came from here... he's around one of the corners! Firing! ... No screams. Nevermind." Manhands: "Alright, my gilly friend... this time you don't run!" Manhands: "Dead-on." Casualties: Carmine Bigladuptop, Rhea Deadlift, Strand Lacklustre, Jade Stonesthrow, Gunnar Stonewall, Mach Ironstride "It was under these circumstances I returned to my ancestral duties as XCOM Commander. Yes, even in my day we'd kept a naval battalion - where else did you keep those too weak or cowardly even for the land squads? Besides, the whole operation cost roughly the same as three plasma cannon." "Moored off the coast of Malta, Port Kanye had remained its headquarters even as the very dynamics of the political world shifted. Funding was low, and the general air was one of neglect, not the overstaffed, well-meaning chaos that had personified the first war 50 years earlier." "The equipment was... not fit for purpose. The aliens had successfully reinvented the wheel as far as plasma technology went, with some kind of... sonic... blaster... abomination. Our soldiers, on the other hand, had somehow found weapons even less effective than the scrap Soviet rifles of 50 years ago." "Work has begun on resolving the situation. Slowly." "We have fourteen able soldiers. Six died on a routine scouting mission, which does not inspire faith in their chances of survival. More troops is the first priority." "And worse news, of course, was to come." [spoiler=OOC and Signups] It's back, babies. The critically-acclaimed XCOM LP as made by me is approaching the notoriously far-too-difficult sequel. The first LP saw enough casualties to fill a 10-minute memorial video. Watch the first LP, by the way. This won't introduce the most basic of concepts, and it's... it's basically the same game, really. More expansion than sequel. Either way, if you want to sign up as a soldier to appear in the LP? Feel free. Not just one, either - but refrain from just spamming the thread. Don't make them your old characters - though descendants are fine. Use the following format; Name (Forename and surname, preferably. Usernames make adequate fore- or surnames and really there's no convention to stick to. Names will take the format of 'Class Name', such as 'Heavy Belfast Steelcraw'. There's a character limit. It's probably gonna be 20 characters in all counting class and spaces, but idk for sure.) Sex ('don't care' is acceptable. I might fuck up and get this wrong since the default names draw from a wide variety of cultures, and the name is the only way to tell sex apart until they fight, but it doesn't really matter anyway.) Class ('Don't care' is acceptable. See below.) Other (If you just want to throw background or whatever onto this, then go ahead. Can also include any specific favoured weapons or equipment or behaviour in combat or, really, whatever.) THE CLASS SYSTEM Chosen on the basis of statistics and chiefly defining their equipment. SCOUT Chosen for being generally terrible at combat. If speed is their only asset, they will be a scout. If they have no assets, they will be a scout. Skilled at drawing overwatch fire and conducting breaches. Will take rifles, and when the rifles run out, pistols, flare guns, fists, teeth and boxing gloves. SHOCK Chosen for being hard-arse cunts who will probably suffer staggering casualties. Shock troops are the ones who keep firing into the thick of it once all the scouts are dead, and preferably keep brave in an emergency. Will take harpoons at first, rifles later. HEAVY Heavy infantry carry the big guns. They are chosen for being gigantic and swole and alpha. Gas cannon early on, but weapon variety will come later. MEDIC Someone has to be brave in a crisis. Bad soldiers who are strong and brave make ideal medics with pistols. In line for an upgrade somewhere down the line... it will be fun. LANCER Good things await the medics... someday. SNIPER The only class name to not fit into five characters, because the English language lacks synonyms for 'sniper'. Chosen for their crack shots and decidedly not for their movement, snipers excel at sitting back outside the line of fire taking their shots from as far back as possible. Typical early weapon will be the gas cannon, later on will start using rifles. SIEGE Who picks the really heavy shit and blows stuff up? These guys. The heaviest of weapons. Torpedos at first, and then things get fun. FLARE Stands on a roof and fires flares around the ocean. Not glamorous work. Low turnover rate expected. Flare guys are too situational to actually be useful most of the time.