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Serenes Forest: The Sitcom!!


Metal Rabbit
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Fireman: I'm not human. I'm a lawyer.

Kiryn: Really?

Fireman: Only on Wednesdays...

i lawled so hard when i read that....

Now that's what I call tough love.

damn right. I know where she learned that from

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\\\\

(Underworld)

Nergal: ...

*he's reading a newspaper*

Demon King: Ney Nergal! We're getting another soon, so keep an eye out.

Nergal: W'ever...

*then CGV drops into hell*

CGV: ...

*Nergal's still reading the paper*

???: Hey, you look familiar...

CGV: Is it you? Wist?

Wist: Yeah.

CGV: What are you doing in hell?

Wist: I should say the same to you.

CGV: Well I'm guessing it's cause of my killings and adultery.

Wist: Ah... well you know you can escape, right?

CGV: How the fuck do you escape?

Wist: Well I'm not supposed to tell you, but you're not really gonna die. You're actually alive right now but your mind's repressing your fall.

CGV: Oh...

Wist: You can go back if you take the key from Nergal and get the hell out of here.

CGV: I'm sorry, that was a god awful pun.

Wist: *is embarrased*

Well, get going!

*CGV takes the key while Nergal's not looking*

Nergal: What? Dragons in the major league? What is this world coming to?

*CGV unlocks gate and leaves*

Wist: Ha... c'mon guys! He bought it!

*Wist, and 2 other people crossed the gate into the living world*

Nergal: Who left the gate open? Dammit Manfroy, why can't you just stay down here with the rest of us?

\\\\

(Forest, shady area)

Wist: It worked... now we're alive!

Hanz: It was all my plan though.

Raven: Feels weird being killed off after only having like 3 lines.

Wist: Well now's our chance for character development!

Raven: What are you gonna do Master Hanz?

Hanz: I'm going back to my sister. I'll help orchestrate an evil event to get revenge on thsoe mercenaries. Then when they're gone I'll take Bianchi back to hell with me.

Wist: Cool, sounds good.

*they start walking away*

*Fox enters*

Fox: Where's CGV...?

Hey! C-

Raven: *is startled*

Whoa!

*He takes a look at her and then trips*

Raven: Dammit, Sakurai!

Fox: Sorry. I though you looked like my brother for a second.

Raven: Um, n-no, its fine!!

*he's sweating*

Fox: Well see you around I guess...

*she leaves*

Raven: Dear goddess I think I'm in love...

\\\\

(Clearing)

Bianchi: *blows*

*bubbles come out of the jar*

Bianchi: ^_^

Hanz: How are you, little sister?

Bianchi: Hi Hanz!!!

*she hugs him*

I thought you were dead!

Hanz: Nope.

Bianchi: Okay!

*she blows bubbles*

Hanz: Hey Bianchi... did you know that you're actually the heir to the forest should Vincent be killed?

Bianchi: ...nope!

Hanz: Well its true. In fact one of my subordinates is taking care of him right now.

(Elsewhere)

Wist: Where's my Elite Beat Agents 2?

Vincent: Stop asking me that! Do I look like the president of NOA?

Wist: I want my EBA2!

Vincent: Shut up!!! That game's not even that great!

Wist: *strikes Vincent with a bolt*

Vincent: ...you fried off my eyebrow...

Wist: Where's mai EBA2?!

Vincent: You know what? I don't care! You can go fuck yourself!

I'm leaving!

*he packs a suicase and leaves*

Wist: Mission complete...

(Back with Hanz)

Hanz: So, you wanna be queen, right?

Bianchi: Yeah!!!

Hanz: All you have to do is betray your friends and kill them all.

Bianchi: MMM... will that take alot of work?

Hanz: Not if you give me controll of your forces.

Bianchi: Deal!

Hanz: *maniacal laughter*

Bianchi: *does it too*

\\\\

(Copied from Fireman's script:)

*CGV comes too*

*CGV is falling*

Coolguyvaters: I never thought it would end like this. I'd always thought I'd get killed after hitting on some gang leader's girlfriend and I'd always hope I would get killed by him while doing his girlfriend...That is a dream that will never come true now...

*Hika's dragon swoops down and saves CGV just as he is about to crash*

Hikarusa: Soon enough for you, ya dastard?

Coolguyvaters: You don't have to act all heroic. No one's watching you.

Hikarusa: You never know...

Coolguyvaters: Hey. Isn't the base in the other direction?

Hikarusa: uh-huh....

Coolguyvaters: Where are you taking me?

Hikarusa: Far out little man...

Coolguyvaters: Little? Far out? What you're saying doesn't even make any sense.

Hikarusa: Far out...

\\\\

(Later)

CGV: Thanks alot dude.

Hika: What are friends for?

Bianchi: Hello Hika!

Hika: Dear goddess you remembered my name. Quick! Tell me what 2+2 is!

Bianchi: It's 5 silly...

CGV: ._.

Bianchi: Anyway, I'm gonna betray the others and try to take my place as queen of the forest. Wanna help?

Hika: Remember the last time you tried an evil plot?

\\\\

(Memory)

Bianchi: And as soon as I press this button, the moon will be destroyed!

Hika: You have a phone call miss.

Bianchi: Oh... *grabs phone*

Hello?

*she sits on the machine and presses the self destruct button*

Bianchi: ...who is this?

Hika: Uh, Bianchi...

Bianchi: Hold on...

I'm on the phone! Don't be rude Hika!

Hika: But...

THE BASE WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS. HAVE A NICE DAY.

Hika: o_o

Bianchi: So like I was saying...

Hika: Bianchi!!!

Bianchi: SHHHH!

*he grabs her and pulls her out really quick*

Bianchi: I lost the call!

Hika!

Hika: But you almost got killed!!

Bianchi: I don't care! That was rude of you!

Hika: But...

Bianchi: You're doing my chores for a week!

Hika: I already do your chores!

Bianchi: Make it a year then!

Hika: ._.

\\\\

(Back to reality)

Bianchi: I don't recall that...

Hika: You wouldn't recall breakfast if a giant lemur made it for you.

Bianchi: Well c'mon and help me!

Hika: Well, this might get me out of the rut I'm in. Okay.

CGV: I'm standing right here ya know.

Hanz: Well, we'll use you for leverage.

*hits CGV over the head with shovel*

Hika: ...meh.

Wist: Sir? Where's Raven?

\\\\

(elsewhere, up in a tree)

*Raven's looking at Fox from in a tree*

Metal Rabbit: Hey, who's the new blood?

Zephrion: idk. Move over, I can't see her boob.

Raven: o_o

You two stare at her?

Metal Rabbit: You wouldn't be suprised by me, but Zeph's a perv.

Raven: ._.

\\\\

(end)

Now, fireman. I just wanted to set the playing field more.

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Great job as always MR. Not as wacky as you usually are, which is understandable considering you had to stay within the borders of Fireman's plotline, but definetly full of intense material. 2 thumbs up and a toe.

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It's longer than I intended it to be...Took me forever to finish and edit everything.

~Part 1: Trapped~

Vincent: Have you decided?

Fourth Fox: I can't abandon my throne, even at the cost of my own brother's life.

Vincent: I admire your professionalism, but I can't let any of you stop us.

*Vincent raises his arm and the entire group is paralyzed*

Zephrion: I thought herons couldn't use offensive magic.

Vincent: It's called evil magic, the ones that my ancestors sealed away within the stone temple.

Fourth Fox: Dammit! We let our guard down.

*Vincent raises his other arm and opens a portal*

Vincent: Please walk into the portal.

Kiryn: Where does it lead?

Vincent: It is a new dimension I discovered a short while ago. It is pitch-black everywhere and contains no life other than that which is sent there. You will not require food nor rest and you will not age, but will soon be driven insane.

Fourth Fox: What if we don't want to go in?

Vincent: Too bad, because you are all already in it.

Metal Rabbit: Woah. He's good.

*portal closes, trapping MR and Fox*

Fourth Fox: Where's Zephrion, Kiryn, and Fireman?

Metal Rabbit: I'm guessing not in here?

Fourth Fox: What?! An eternity alone with MR?

Metal Rabbit: Yup. Let's have some "fun" while we're at it!

Fourth Fox: Why couldn't I just be executed?

~Part 2: Reinforcements~

*gathering in the forest*

Vincent: This is the lord of the forest speaking! CGV has been declared a traitor to Serenes! Here you will watch his execution!

crowd: YEAH!!!

girl: He deserves it! He said he was gonna put a quarter in my ass and ride me!

guy: That dastard's gonna pay for what he did to my mom!

girl: I felt his crotch once and he yelled at me!

Nightmare: This is a nightmare....no pun intended....

Raven: Fourth Fox wouldn't declare her brother a traitor without a reason...

Kaonohiokala(Kaono for short): Something sounds fishy here... Let's find out after the execution.

Raven: After the execution will be too late you dastard!

Nightmare: This 'dastard' trend has become a real nightmare.

Raven: So is the 'nightmare' thing.

Nightmare: Touché

Vincent: Here is your new queen! Bianchi!

*applause*

man: BOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU SUCK!!!

*man gets hit by an arrow*

Raven: Now I know something is up. If there's one thing that I've learned from inappropriately peeping on Fox, it's that Fox would never give up her throne to Bianchi. Let's move out.

Kaono: Where to?

Nightmare: I see an opening through that stage where no guards are positioned. If we manuever in a direction the exact opposite of our zig-zag manuever, we shall reach that opening unseen by any guards.

Raven: Sounds like a solid plan. No wonder I made you the strategist.

Kaono: Watch out. There are people having sex all over the floor.

Raven: Just walk over them. They probably won't mind. Also, feel free to touch. I know I will...

~Part 3: Resolve~

Vincent: And now the moment you've all been waiting for!

*Hika swings his axe into CGV's back*

crowd: Oooooooo....

*CGV falls to the ground*

-a barren landscape covered in a perpetual sandstorm of flames*

Wist: Hello CGV.

Coolguyvaters: Have I gone to hell?

Wist: No. This is merely a vision. You are an inch away from crossing the line of the living, you know?

Coolguyvaters: What do I do now? Most of my close friends have turned out to be traitors and my sister is trapped in some dark dimension. What's the point anymore?

Wist: If you had that attitude when Angel was under attack, she wouldn't have survived and you wouldn't have gotten laid.

Coolguyvaters: Ahh...The good times...

Wist: Listen. It's your choice to decide whether it' worth it or not to fight back, to continue living. But just remember this, if you decide to surrender yourself to the pressures of life, Angel will never forgive you. She will hate you. Right now, she watches you from the crowd, hoping you still draw breath.

Coolguyvaters: Thank you, Wist.

Wist: My pleasure.

*CGV wakes up*(in reality, only a second has passed while CGV had his vision)

*CGV criticals Hika with his Reever*

*Hika falls off the stage and into the crowd*

crowd: Moshpit!

*crowd carries Hika's semi-dead body away*

*CGV runs away really fast, disappearing into the forest*

Vincent: This brings up complications, but it shouldn't be long since that axe wound kills him.

*Vincent leaves and goes to look for Bianchi*

~Part 4: Allies~

Raven: You sure about this?

Nightmare: As sure as the night is dark.

Kaono: Stop. Someone's coming.

*50 soldiers surround them*

Raven: So much for stopping. Plans?

Nightmare: We fight?

Kaono: Now that plan, I like.

Raven: They don't call us Raven's Heroes for nothing.

(one budget-limited battle later)

Raven: Too easy if you ask me.

Nightmare: You killed most of them!

Kaono: Experience hog...

Raven: I can't help it if I own with a Steel swordâ„¢.

*LyleDayek appears*

LyleDayek: You guys looking for Fox?

Raven: Yeah.

LyleDayek: Follow me. Zephrion is trying to get the portal open.

-at the site where Fox and MR were sucked into the portal*

Zephrion: Damn it! I can get it to open a little, but I need some long magical weapon to open it up all the way.

*LyleDayek, Raven, Kaono, and Nightmare arrive*

Zephrion: Who are you guys?

LyleDayek: Kiryn sent me and I sent them.

Kaono: I have a Flame Lance. Will that open the portal?

Zephrion: It could.

*Zephrion throws the lance into the portal and Fox and MR come out*

Metal Rabbit: Awww....I was just starting to have fun...

Fourth Fox: Thanks, guys. You saved me from that horrible rabbit.

Metal Rabbit: Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.

Nightmare: Who is he talking to?

Fourth Fox: I dunno. Sometimes he just says these things.

LyleDayek: Ummm...MR?

Metal Rabbit: Yes?

LyleDayek: You're on fire.

Metal Rabbit: Your point?

LyleDayek: Never mind.

~Part 5: Relations~

*Bianchi is talking to Hanz*

Bianchi: Interesting...

*Hanz leaves*

*Vincent arrives*

Vincent: What is it?

Bianchi: Hanz just told me of an interesting part of the Constitution of Serenes Forest. Part 5, Clause 14:

Should Vincent and the curent king/queen die, the throne will be open to the next heir of the throne.

Bianchi: If you were to die...I would be the legitimate queen of the forest.

Vincent: *sweating* But you're not the heir! Fourth Fox never selected an heir!

Bianchi: Part 5, Clause 13:

If no heir has been selected before the death of the king/queen, his/her oldest relative shall automatically be selected as heir to the throne.

Vincent: Doesn't that mean...

Bianchi: I am the daughter of the foster family that took in Fox and CGV when they were young. I also killed everyone else in my family, making me the only one who could possibly obtain the throne.

*Kiryn walks pointing her finger at Bianchi*

(Kiryn has wolf ears and a wolf tail)

Kiryn: Objection!

Vincent: What is this? Phoenix Wright?

Kiryn: The oldest relative gets the throne right?

Bianchi: Maybe...

Kiryn: So legally, Bianchi is next in line to get the throne.

Bianchi: Who's first?

Kiryn: I am. I'm Fox's biological mother.

Bianchi: Didn't see that coming.

Vincent: Kiryn doesn't have wolf ears or a wolf tail....Who are you?

Kiryn: Kiryn's twin sister who is also named Kiryn.

Vincent: See. These are the kinds of plot twists that even I can't see coming.

Kiryn: Actually. I'm 100 years older than Kiryn, so I'm more like an older sister who looks almost exactly like Kiryn.

Vincent: So where's Kiryn, then?

Kiryn: Dunno. I hired Fireman to take care of that part. I've been pretending to be her for a couple months...

Vincent: Why?

Kiryn: I got a tip from Fireman that Zephrion was planning to kill Fox. I needed to keep an eye on Zephrion.

Bianchi: What are you going to do now?

Kiryn: Have you heard of what a mother wolf will do to protect her baby cubs?

Vincent: For some reason, I'm scared and sexually excited at the same time...

Bianchi: Oh, Hanz!

*Hanz enters with 100 soldiers behind him*

Hanz: In the name of the goddess of the universe, I cannot let you harm her.

Kiryn: Well I got backup too.

*Fireman comes out of nowhere*

Hanz: Fireman. Your as sly as ever, but I doubt the two of you can take on all of us.

*LyleDayek crashes through the window*

LyleDayek: I'm hear too! Owwww....I've got glass in my veins....

Kiryn: Ha! There's three of us now and only one-hundred three of you.

Fireman: They are so outmatched...

LyleDayek: Am I the only one here who knows which numbers are bigger than which?

~Part 6: Conclusion~

(another budget-restricted battle later)

(to Kiryn's right you see a pile of 100 dead soldiers and to her left you see a giant teddy bear)

Kiryn: You guys give up yet?

Hanz: Never...

*Fireman stabs him*

Hanz: For my queen...

LyleDayek: Master Kiryn, you are literally a beast when you fight.

Kiryn: Umm...I am the fury?

Fireman: Hey, where's Vincent and Bianchi? Also, what's with the teddy bear?

Kiryn: His name is Ted and he's my teddy weddy. I never go into battle without him.

Fireman: ...

LyleDayek: ...

-in the room where all the documents are kept-

Bianchi: I have to burn these documents...

*Vincent teleports behind her*

Vincent: Hello Bianchi.

Bianchi: Aw! I mean...hi...Vincent...I was kidding about killing you. It was just a joke. ha...ha...ha...

Vincent: It doesn't matter. I was going to kill you anyway.

Bianchi: Uh-oh spaghettioh...

*Vincent and Bianchi get hit by a Rexflame*

Fourth Fox: You two are in some serious trouble...

-in the forest-

Angel: CGV?

Coolguyvaters: What...are...you....doing?

Angel: I followed you.

Coolguyvaters: How...sweet...

Angel: Please don't die yet. We haven't named him yet.

Coolguyvaters: I'm...sorry....but...we....can't....get....married....Our...son....wil....probably....be...born...a....bast

ard.

Angel: Please don't say such things. OUr son will be born healthy and you'll be there with me. I know it.

Coolguyvaters: ....thanks....Angel....

*a bright flash of light engulfs them and CGV has recovered completely*

Coolguyvaters: The hell?

*Fourth Fox steps in*

Fourth Fox: You guys can be very emotional.

Coolguyvaters: Do you think you could have waited a little longer?(sarcasm)

Fourth Fox: Sorry. I just wanted to see how long CGV would have resisted death.

Angel: Now that's what I call "tough love".

Coolguyvaters: I think I know where she learned it from... Hey, uh, Angel? Since I'm still alive...and...uh....well....

Angel: Fine, but as for...

Coolguyvaters: Don't worry. We'll use protection this time.

Angel: That's all I ask.

Fourth Fox: I didn't need to hear any of that...

Part 7: Epilogue

(due to budget crisis caused by The Terminator, most of this part shall be explained in words)

Important Figures of the Serenes Revolution

Bianchi was excused of her crimes for claims of being mentally unstable. She is now seen roaming around Tellius, entertaining all with her stories of how she "succeeded" in the Serenes Revolution.

Vincent was excused because he was the judge. He is now seen meditating his troubles away on a pile of green stuff.

Fourth Fox reclaimed her throne and used the whole incident to up her approval ratings. Spies say that Fourth Fox had the whole event planned all along, but politicians have buried those reports.

CGV made engagement plans with Angel and did all sorts of things with Angel that can't be said here.

Angel gave birth to their boy shortly after her marriage with CGV. Although CGV tries to hide the fact that he is married, most of Serenes knows. Angel along with many others also know of how CGV continues to hit on many guys' girlfriends at night clubs.

Kiryn continued to masquerade as her younger sister, Kiryn, in order to keep an eye on her children, CGV and Fox.

No one knows where the other Kiryn is. However, there have been occasional reports about another Kiryn roaming around Tellius. Some say she plans on returning, but no one knows when.

Fireman continued the contract he had with Kiryn(the older one). He is known as The Fireman, for his skills in the killing arts. On Wednesdays, he's known as Fireman: Ace Attorney.

LyleDayek continued his cover as an ordinary everyday peasant that secretly works for Kiryn(the older one). He now knows not to misjudge situations despite how hopeless. He also knows not to jump through windows without protective suits.

Metal Rabbit continued to be himself. Most of the world is unaware that he mastered how to use the Cursed Bow and threw the Ring of Power into Mount Doom, where he personally slayed Sauron.

Hikarusa was carried away by a mosh pit and never heard of again. He is once again with the group. He is excused from his crimes because no one remembers Hikarusa, only a guy named "Hika". He uses this oppurtunity to start with a clean slate and robbs the Serenes Forest 1st National Bank. He later gets a job as a janitor there and is soon fired for no apparent reason.

Raven was revered as the hero of the Serenes Revolution. His mercenary group gets many requests nowadays and he is often seen, surrounded by many women, but none of them ever succed in capturing his heart.

Nightmare was revered as the strategist behind the hero of the Serenes Revolution. He is often given many requests for his strategic expertise. Some say he is second to none other than Soren of the former Greil Mercenaries and Mark, master strategist of Elibe.

Kaonohiokala is revered as the lance that aided the hero of the Serenes Revolution. Although records show that he didn't kill as many soldiers as Raven, records do show that it was his own lance that rescued Queen Fox(and MR). Today, the flame of his lance still burns brightly on Metal Rabbit.

Hanz was hesitantly rescued by Fox and excused for his crimes due to his overwhelming dedication to Bianchi. He is now seen tracking down Bianchi, one day hoping to find her and serve her once more.

Wist....Some say he was just a person manifested from the thoughts of CGV. Others say that he was a magic user who astral projected himself. There is no real proof as to whether Wist truly existed or not...but some say that when they lose all hope, they see Wist's image before them.

Zephrion contiues to interact with the group as his usual self. Spies(Fireman) later revealed that Zephrion no longer plans on killing Fourth Fox, but may be part of an even greater conspiracy...

THE END

Produced by Fireman

Senior Consultants:

Metal Rabbit

Kiryn

Zephrion

Special Thanks to:

Fourth Fox, Coolguyvaters, VincentASM, Hikarusa, Metal Rabbit, LyleDayek, Nightmare, Kaonohiokala, Metal Rabbit, Wist, Raven, Bianchi, Hanz, and Super Mario Club.

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That Kiryn thing totally disagrees with the second movie, but it was still a job well done.

I was planning on explaining that in the episode, but I kinda got tired of typing, so explain it I shall another time.

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I have... 3 constructive criticms:

1. Nobody but CGV knows angel, and even then she's probably in Daein by now. She wouldn't be there...

2. Why is Vincent evil?

3. Bianchi's mom was also Vincent's mom. She has a bood connection to the Forest, not CGV and Fox.

Other than that it was great.

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Metal Rabbit: Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.

No matter how many times that is taken out of contex, it never manages to make me laugh my head off.

Hooray! I came in at the end to save the day kind of. It's funny to, cause when I was a kid my sister ran through a glass door because of me (I was 3 so it certainly wasn't intentional. According to the police reports anyway) So I had a special laugh over that one. Thanks for introducing me in the series. That made me happy! Great job Fireman!

Edited by LyleDayek
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I have... 3 constructive criticms:

1. Nobody but CGV knows angel, and even then she's probably in Daein by now. She wouldn't be there...

2. Why is Vincent evil?

3. Bianchi's mom was also Vincent's mom. She has a bood connection to the Forest, not CGV and Fox.

Other than that it was great.

1. No physical being actually knew Angel at first in this episode. Wist knew, but whether Wist was real or not is a mystery. And how Wist knew Angel was there is also another mystery, even if he was just a vision. Kiryn(the younger one) found Angel and brought her to Begnion. While flying by, Kiryn had overheard Angel talking about a CGV(yes, Kiryn has really good hearing) and Kiryn had also heard that CGV was scheduled for execution, so Kiryn decided to bring Angel to Begnion. (Once again, I was too lazy to fit that into the episode. Maybe it will be a dvd extra...)

2. Vincent isn't evil. He's just sick and tired of people burning down his forest ten times a day. However, Vincent has found "inner" peace with the help of a special plant...

3. Bianchi is related to Vincent, but she pretended to be an orphan a few months ago, got adopted, somehow got the foster family to adopt CGV and Fox too, and hence the legal, not blood, relationship. Fox and CGV were intoxicated when that happened...When Bianchi said she killed everyone else in her family, she meant the foster family.

heh....i just noticed that bastard was seperated into bast and ard. it's fixed now, though...

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1. No physical being actually knew Angel at first in this episode. Wist knew, but whether Wist was real or not is a mystery. And how Wist knew Angel was there is also another mystery, even if he was just a vision. Kiryn(the younger one) found Angel and brought her to Begnion. While flying by, Kiryn had overheard Angel talking about a CGV(yes, Kiryn has really good hearing) and Kiryn had also heard that CGV was scheduled for execution, so Kiryn decided to bring Angel to Begnion. (Once again, I was too lazy to fit that into the episode. Maybe it will be a dvd extra...)

2. Vincent isn't evil. He's just sick and tired of people burning down his forest ten times a day. However, Vincent has found "inner" peace with the help of a special plant...

3. Bianchi is related to Vincent, but she pretended to be an orphan a few months ago, got adopted, somehow got the foster family to adopt CGV and Fox too, and hence the legal, not blood, relationship. Fox and CGV were intoxicated when that happened...When Bianchi said she killed everyone else in her family, she meant the foster family.

heh....i just noticed that bastard was seperated into bast and ard. it's fixed now, though...

I can accept that. All but the fact that you make Bianchi sound intelligent.

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