riariadne Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Awesome I made an appearance! I think you got the description for my character just right too. Now the characters are going too go see the Greil Mercs or something? Interesting! I was totally confused at the Begnion part though, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Keep up the fantastic work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xanatha Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 What an heroic act. I think you express yourself very good. Allen's little speech was very well written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnell Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks, I thought the speech was a little cheesy myself. I tried to make the scene seem as realistic as possible, but I didn't like that particular part. And I've updated again. Unfortunately, this will probably be my last update for the next week or so. I've got finals the next couple days, so I probably won't be writing then. And then I get to travel to Florida with my orchestra, so I'll be gone for a week. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xanatha Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks, I thought the speech was a little cheesy myself. I tried to make the scene seem as realistic as possible, but I didn't like that particular part.And I've updated again. Unfortunately, this will probably be my last update for the next week or so. I've got finals the next couple days, so I probably won't be writing then. And then I get to travel to Florida with my orchestra, so I'll be gone for a week. Sorry. You're welcome! :) Aww, too bad... I'll miss reading this. But I will be here when you return! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xanatha Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 (edited) Ah, nice! It's great that you're back! I hope you had an enjoyable time in Florida! ;) And it's great to keep reading this again! It's so exciting! EDIT: Sorry about the double post! Edited March 5, 2009 by xanatha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riariadne Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 (edited) Pretty dang good so far, methinks! It gets more interesting every chapter. I like how the cliff battle was described as well, like how the hill harried some of the soldiers, those little things make stories more fun to read. That's what I think about stories, that they should be fun to read. Great job! Definitely one of the best stories here. (Notice, Shuuda, that my being in it has nothing to do with how good I think it is. It just makes it more fun for me.) You went to Florida? Nice! Edited March 6, 2009 by Reinfleche Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deity Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I just read your update. I did not see any mistakes as I read, and the story ran smoothly. Good job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnell Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 Thanks Rad, I'm almost done writing the next part as we speak. I'm glad it's flowing smooth, because some past posts seemed kinda rushed to me (which they were). I've been trying to proofread them a bit more before I post. But I thought I'd take this chance to say I've made a TON of edits to previous parts of the story. Most of it is stuff like changing "She walked over to Adam, who walked up to her" to "She strode over to Adam, who walked up to her," but I have made a few plot-related changes as well. For one, I forgot to add the chapter title (chapter 2) on my last post. Another was that Taksh now will head the First Battalion of the Begnion Knights. I think a platoon seemed too small for a Lieutenant General. I think I'm forgetting something else, but nothing comes to mind. And, as most of you probably have realized, Part 2 and 3 will be much, much larger than Part 1. I originally planned Part 1 to be a prologue chapter, but it got a little too long to be one chapter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deity Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Thanks Rad, I'm almost done writing the next part as we speak. I'm glad it's flowing smooth, because some past posts seemed kinda rushed to me (which they were). I've been trying to proofread them a bit more before I post. But I thought I'd take this chance to say I've made a TON of edits to previous parts of the story. Most of it is stuff like changing "She walked over to Adam, who walked up to her" to "She strode over to Adam, who walked up to her," but I have made a few plot-related changes as well. For one, I forgot to add the chapter title (chapter 2) on my last post. Another was that Taksh now will head the First Battalion of the Begnion Knights. I think a platoon seemed too small for a Lieutenant General. I think I'm forgetting something else, but nothing comes to mind. And, as most of you probably have realized, Part 2 and 3 will be much, much larger than Part 1. I originally planned Part 1 to be a prologue chapter, but it got a little too long to be one chapter. Ah I see. I will go back and read it all over again, haha. Really, you think you rushed it? I think the story is good as it is, not rushed at all. But you are the writer, so you should know about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnell Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 I've now re-posted every segment of my story that was deleted. Unfortunately, however, I had to use the copy of my story that I posted on another website. And I never got around to making the corrections suggested here on either my Word document or the other site's copy, so I've lost all the corrections and changes that I made. Let me know if you spot anything. On another note, I'm getting close to finishing the next post of the story. But I think I will post by chapter now, so this post will be quite large. The bad thing is, if I post by chapter it will take much longer to write the posts. But the post will be much bigger. So what would you readers like, chapters or segments? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of the White Lake Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 So what would you readers like, chapters or segments? I think I would prefer segments. Hey, I finally made it back on (couldn't figure out how to get Serenes Forest to work right on "forget password" for some reason. May have been my computer...) Anyway, I LOVE what you're doing with Taksh! Awesome. You really can weave a story. Really nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of the White Lake Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Aw man, you're stopping? Oh well. It was GREAT while it lasted. Hey, thanks for not leaving us hanging. I appreciate that. I hope you continue to write. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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