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mr_e_s

100 Boopers in 24 hours

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Boopers.

Mist: Ike! You're never going to believe what happened!

Ike: Boyd's gay? I kinda guessed.

Mist: What? No! They gave us supports in Radiant Dawn finally!

Ike: For serious? Awesome! What's my list like?

Mist: Well, Your options are...me.

Ike: Right.

Mist: Danved.

Ike: What?

Mist: Makalov.

Ike: That asshat?

Mist: Oliver.

Ike ...I just thre up a little.

Mist: Largo.

Ike: What? He's not even in the game! What the Hell is this, where are my love pairings, I'm the lord, for Ashera's sake!

Mist: Well, actually you can pair up with either Makalov, Danved, or Oliver, so...

Ike: Oh nuts to this, I'm gonna go get a spot in Brawl! Even fighting that electric mouse is better than this shit!

*Ike storms off*

Oscar: Mist...why did you lie ab-

Mist: Silence! I'm in charge now!

Zihark: ....do you understand now?

Brom: Well...

Zihark: Come on! I spent like 1000$ convincing the mages to whip me up a magic presentation for it. It had pictures that talked! PICTURES THAT TALKED! I can't possibly make it any clearer than that!

Brom: It was justa little hard to follow.

Zihark: The little picture of me spent 10 minutes screaming out how much it wanted nothing to do with your daughter, Meg! The little picture of Meg was crying because you tried to set us up!

Brom: What was with the picture of Lethe taking off her clothes?

Zihark: (under his breath) That one's for later.

Sweet.

Now do Janaff and Ulki.

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Meh, I've written a lot on those two already, I'd rather pair them up with other chars.

Janaff: Hey man.

Volke: ...

Janaff: Nice night, huh?

Volke: What did you want?

Janaff: Oh nothing, really. I just thought I'd come over here and make conversation.

Volke: I'm leaving.

Janaff: But I wanted to talk about a robbery I witnessed!

Volke: ...What robbery?

Janaff: Well, it seems someone snuck into Mia's tent while she was away, and came out with something that looked suspiciously like a bag of undergarments. And you'll never guess what. This individual took them to the lake, where he met up with a blue-armoured knight, and they traded bags, the other looked to be full of money.

Volke: How do you claim to know all this?

Janaff: Well, these eyes of mine are pretty keen. In any case, it sure would be messy if Ike or Mia ever heard about this, huh? But that could all go away i-

Volke: If I cut out your tongue, and then, just to make sure, take out your eyes as well, or Hell, the lake's not to far, I could just kill you.

Janaff: ...Well, let me know if you get any clue of who could have possibly done all that, cause I have no idea!

Volke: I thought not.

and...

Ulki: You know, I envy you.

Haar: Hmm, why is that? You can already fly, and I assume having two eyes is better than one.

Ulki: No, I hear you snoring all the time. I envy that.

Haar: Why on Earth would you wish you could snore?

Ulk: I haven't actually slept in seven years. I hear everything.

Haar: What do yo-

Ulki: Your heartbeat is like a jackhammer to me. There is no place I can go where the world isn't being uncomfortable loud.

Haar: So, why don't you just wear earmuffs?

Ulki: ...

Haar: Never thought of that?

Ulki: ...SHIT!

Haar: Hey, not so loud.

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Haha! Those with Janaff and Ulki were great! You're really good at making up stories like these, you know!

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Rolf: No!

Ranulf: Well hello to you too.

Rolf: Just go away, Ranulf, because of you, I've been beaten, burned, lynched, and various other things of anunpleasnat nature!

Ranulf: Dude, dude, those were all accidents, misunderstandings, and various other things involving hilarious consequences.

Rolf: Really?

Ranulf: To the max.

Rolf: Well, I suppose we can still be friends.

Ranulf: Cool, cause I just learned this awesome thing. I just tried it and it totally worked, too!

Rolf: Really? What?

Ranulf: Okay, so here's what you do...

*later, in the middle of the camp*

Rolf: HEY, I PUT OUT AND DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! *covers eyes with hands*

Danved: Christmas already? Thank you, Santa!

*later*

Rolf: YOU!

Ranulf: Okay, I never said it worked with women.

Rolf: You're such an-

Ranulf: Asshole?

Rolf: NEVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!

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Rolf: No!

Ranulf: Well hello to you too.

Rolf: Just go away, Ranulf, because of you, I've been beaten, burned, lynched, and various other things of anunpleasnat nature!

Ranulf: Dude, dude, those were all accidents, misunderstandings, and various other things involving hilarious consequences.

Rolf: Really?

Ranulf: To the max.

Rolf: Well, I suppose we can still be friends.

Ranulf: Cool, cause I just learned this awesome thing. I just tried it and it totally worked, too!

Rolf: Really? What?

Ranulf: Okay, so here's what you do...

*later, in the middle of the camp*

Rolf: HEY, I PUT OUT AND DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! *covers eyes with hands*

Danved: Christmas already? Thank you, Santa!

*later*

Rolf: YOU!

Ranulf: Okay, I never said it worked with women.

Rolf: You're such an-

Ranulf: Asshole?

Rolf: NEVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!

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Kieran: Knave!

Oscar: Oh...Kieran, do we really have to do this today?

Kieran: You! You killed that mage!

Oscar: What? In our last battle? That guy that was throwing fire around like candy?

Kieran: Of course, that dastard lit my hair on fire, and made me look the fool! I was about to enact my revenge, when you stole it from me!

Oscar: Wait, I don't understand, how is this wronging you in a-

Kieran: My honour! That mage took my honour, and you struck him down before I could reclaim it!

Oscar: So, how do-

Kieran: Ritual Suicide. I must fall on my sword as you watch!

Oscar: No, please...well...no, you shouldn't...probably.

Kieran: Then what would you have me do?

Oscar: Well, what if I gave you my honour. All of it?

Kieran: You...You would do that for your archrival?

Oscar: Yeah, sure. Why not? *mimes handing something to Kieran* There you go.

Kieran: I...I can't ever hope to repay this favour, but I will give every fiber of my being trying!

Oscar: Oh, that's really not-

Kieran: I'm off to spread words of your grnadeur and good deeds! *leaves*

Oscar: Oh...maybe I should have just let him...damnit.

Rolf: C'mon!

Boyd: It'll be super cool, bro!

Oscar: I don't even wield bows, how can we have a 'super-awesome special triangle attack'?

Boyd: Dude, learn, it's easy as hell!

Rolf: Hey, I spent years training!

Boyd: Yeah, with a drunk. I just picked it up for no reason when I became a warrior.

Oscar: Okay, let's say I take up bows, and we do this thing, how would it work?

Boyd: Who cares, three bows firing at once on an enemy? What could go wrong?

*after the battle*

Ike: Wait, they're all dead? What kind of enemy archers were there.

Soren: that's the thing, there weren't any.

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Rolf: Hey, I spent years training!

Boyd: Yeah, with a drunk. I just picked it up for no reason when I became a warrior.

This line really made me laugh for some reason. Maybe because I like Shinon so much...who I'd like to see more of.

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Sure thing, how about 3 boopers with him? Or rather, I'll write a long one, and split it in three parts.

The Hangover, part 1: The Morning after

Shinon: Oh...Ashera.My head... Why am I naked? Am I... in a ditch? What the Hell is going on?

*Shinon gets out of the ditch, climbs onto a road, looks both ways, picks a direction at random, and heads off*

*an hour later, he arrives in a small town*

Man: Hey, it's Shinon!

Shinon: Uhh....hi.

Man: Boy, things got pretty crazy last night, huh?

Shinon: I guess...who are you, man?

Man: I'm Brian, buddy!

Shinon: Uh huh...

Brian: You bought me like, twelve beers, then started crying about how your dad used to beat you, and you wished this Greil guy was your dad.

Shinon: Oh wow, I was father issue drunk? I usually stp before that. Listen Barry.

Brian: Brian.

Shinon: No one cares. Where are my clothes?

Brian: I dunno, man, you walked into town naked, and whenever someone asked you about it, you just called them a fag.

Shinon: Huh. So...where am I?

Brian: Well, we renamed the town Shinon last night, because you beat the mayor in a pissing contest. But we weren't a fan of Ashnardtown 12, anyways.

Shinon: I'm...in Daein? I am never drinking again!

Brian: Want a quick cap before you go?

Shinno: Oh Ashera yes.

Brian: How about some clothes.

Shinon: ...

Brian: Well?

Shinon: I'm thinking!

Part 2: The Journey Home

Shinon: So you gave me a ride to Daein yesterday?

Driver: Yep. You said you wanted to get the Hell out of Crimea, and I was heading out, so I let you ride on.

Shinon: Fair enough, and I was naked when I got on?

Driver: Naked and carrying a case of beer.

Shinon: Sounds like me. So did I say why I wanted to leave Crimea?

Driver: Nope, you just kept calling me a whore throwing empty bottles at pedestrians.

Shinon: Heh, awesome.

Driver: Normally, I'd say you were just a dick, but you were pretty drunk, so I can forgive a little-

Pedestrian: Ow! My head! A rock!

Shinon: Heh, stupid pedestians.

Part 3: The Return

Gatrie: Shinon, you're home!

Shinon: Yeah. You wouldn't believe what happened man. Alcohol is dangerous stuff! Apparently I stripped naked-

Gatrei: I knew that. You did that on the way to the bar.

Shinon: I was sober?

Gatrie: Totally sober. I t was actually kind of disturbing.

Shinon: Huh, in any case, I hopped on a cart out of Crimea and partied till dawn in this little town in Daein. I beat the mayor ina pissing contest and he named the town in me. Only I don't remember any of that because I woke up naked in a ditch this morning with no idea where I was, and I had to find my way back here! It was awful (except for that pedestrian with the rock in the face, heh)!

Gatrie: Cool, I spent the day fighting ninj-

Shinon: eah, great story, mine had a moral, though. I am never drinking again!

Gatrie: Great, I'm really proud of you, buddy!

Shinon: I know, right?

Gatrie: So...

Shinon: Yeah...

Gatrie: Wanna go get blitzed?

Shinon: Let's roll. *starts stripping*

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My turn!

Oscar: So, you guys are Paladins, too?

Seth: Yep.

Frey: Well... I guess you could say that.

Jagen: Yes.

Kieran: YOU DASTARD!!!! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THE PROFESSION OF YOUR GREATEST RIVAL!!??

Oscar:...Just, answer it for everyone else, PLEASE!

Kieran: Fine... I am Kieran the great Paladin! In the country of Elibe, I am known as Death's-

Marcus: Who the hell are you?

Oscar: Marcus, you're late.

Marcus: I was... held up. *cleans blood off lance*

Kieran: Anyway, what did you call us here for?

Oscar: Um...

Titania: Hi guys, sorry I'm late!

*complete silence*

Oscar: What are you doing here?

Titania: I seem to remember you inviting me...

Oscar: OK...

Jagen: Hurry up and get to the point!

Oscar:... ... ... I forgot.

Everyone: ARGH! *attack*

*Oscar defends himself from all of them using an Iron Lance*

<Later>

Ike: So, Titania and Kieran died...?

Eirika: Apparently... As did Seth.

Roy: Marcus, why where are you!?

Marth: Ah, whatever. Bye!

*Oscar rides away on his horse before anyone notices him*

Ugh. My head hurts. I do better when I have two definite characters to "Booper".

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Leanne and Oliver

Oliver: Oh what a beautius sight! The Fine Heron Maiden i sighted in Serenes Forest!

Leanne:(Anciant Language speak)

Oliver: What a beautiful voice! yor are even more beautiful than the other herons! i must simply have you!

Leanne:(hanges voice to a deep gravely voice) Look pal, im not even a female, i just got this gig for the protection and perks, you keep your ugly hand off of me and you get to keep both of your lungs, read me?

Oliver: Eep! (runs away)

Reyson: Leanne are you alright? i saw Oliver talking to you..

Leanne: I'm alright, that blowhard just wanted to add me to his collection

Reyson: that's my brother!

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Well, coudn't we just ask a mod (Hi, RFoF) to move this topic to the General FE board?

Totally, but if that were the case, I'd also want to change the title of it to more accurate represent the contents.

Also, booper.

Gareth: Hey there, guys.

Ike: Who are you?

Gareth: We met when your ship docked. I was an asshole to you.

Ike: Huh...Nope, I remember Kurth, and some guys with white banadanas. Were you wearing a white bandana?

Gareth: No. I was in charge of the white bandanas.

Ike: Huh... Nope, sorry, you don't ring a bell.

Gareth: Let me join you in the fight.

Ike: Dude, we already have like, three dragons on our side, are you better than any of them?

Gareth: Well...not really no.

Ike: Are you better than those royal laguz?

Gareth: ...No.

Ike: How about that emo looking kid witht he green hair and the knife?

Gareth: Well...no.

Ike: Uh huh, have fun on the bench, loser.

*Ike walks off*

Gareth: He was just...so mean!

Kurth: Who were you again?

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Totally, but if that were the case, I'd also want to change the title of it to more accurate represent the contents.

Solution: Ask a mod (Hi, RFoF) to change the title.

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I'll get right on that in a timely fashion (as is my nature).

In the meantime, have some 3 line boopers.

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Whose the father?

Mist: Jill!

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Really?

Mist: No, I just wanted the attention...

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Oh god, not again.

Mist: Yay, abortion!

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Me too!

Mist: ...Wait, what?

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Ranulf! I'm gonig to kick your ass!

Mist: But he's so fluffy!

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Aew you swure that's the word you're thinking of?

Mist: ...Oh, I meant present.

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: You know, dad said if you do it standing up-

Mist: Dad was lying.

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Mist! I'm trying to polish Ragnell, come back later!

Mist: ...I hate you.

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: Was it Boyd?

Mist: I said pregnant, not stupid.

Mist: I'm pregnant.

Ike: This is getting kind of tired.

Mist: Agreed, let's stop.

Edited by mr_e_s

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This topic may have died a few days ago. Most things that were written after Mr._e_s stopped weren't really funny. But there were enough gems here to make it worthwhile. -sheds a single tear-

On that note, I request MiaxMia.

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Hey there, been working, without any great amount of net access, 10 hours from home.

Was working 10 hours a day 6 days a week, but that's all over now.

Am now working 12 hours a day 6 days a week.

Would feel sorry for myself, but making assloads of money, house is paid off before 21st birthday.

I should at least have net access from now on, will make boopers when awake and not busy.

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Good thing, too. We lost a bunch of boopers (Like all of my Chainey ones), as well as the request list.

EDIT: I found all of my old ones!

Edward: Hey, Ike!

Ike: What is it- Oh. Hello, Edward.

Edward: Ike, could you teach me?

Ike: Wait, what? First Mia, then this dude in an Asian garb with red hair ((Joshua)), then this little girl ((Fir)), now you?! Why are people suddenly asking me to train them?

Edward: Well...

*flashback*

Mist: Well, ever since Ike trained me in the sword, I've been pwning!

Mia: REALLY!? Cool! *goes to find Ike*

Fir: Eh, I'm good enough, since my uncle taught me. But still, it sounds interesting.

*End flashback*

Edward: See?

Ike: Wait... I didn't train Mist... Greil did!

*A swift shadow runs away from the camp*

Marth: *Walks over* Ike, have you seen Chainey around?

Aran: Hey, who are- Oh, geez! Uh...

Devdan/Danved: Oh, hello. My name is Devdan.

Aran: Oh... Wait... You look like someone I know... He was my fellow Sentinal! You're Danved!

Devdan/Danved: Oh, indeed, people think that Devdan is Danved. However, Danved is definitely not the same as Devdan.

Aran: Uh-huh. OK, Devdan, where's Danved?

Devdan: Danved is over there. Devdan will follow you, to make sure you see him.

Aran: Okay...

*Walks to tent*

Aran: Oh, hello Danved.

Danved: Hello, Aran!

Aran: OK, I believe you Dev- Hey, wait! Where'd Devdan go?

Devdan: Oh, dear... Aran has found out...

Chainey: OK, Fine! You found me out!

Aran: Oh. Cool.

Chainey: Cool? I just tricked you!

Devdan: Yes, Devdan has tricked Aran!

Aran: Well, I guess some people would be mad. But since I have no personality, I don't care. So yes, cool.

*Chainey and Devdan look at each other*

Chainey: *Turns into Aran* I have no personality... Well, I'm off to go wreck mischief! *Runs off*

Aran: Hey, wait! Dang!

Meg: Count Bastian! Where are you!?

Bastian: Oh, hello, young girl.

Meg: Um... Have you seen Zihark anywhere?

Bastian: He's in that tent over there.

Meg: OK, thanks!

*Meg goes to the tent*

Zihark: Oh, Meg! There you are!

Meg: ^_^

*Kiss*

*Next day*

Chainey: Hello, Meg!

Meg: Hi, Chainey!

Chainey: So, how was your day? Anything... Special happen?

Meg: As a mattter of fact, me and Zihark-

Chainey: Kissed?

Meg: Uh-huh... Wait a minute! Was that you!?

Chainey: *turns into Nailah and runs away*

Mia: Hey, Lady Lucia!!! I see you wear white robes! So get ready!!!

Lucia: Wait, what!?

Mai: My true rival!!!

Lucia: Oh. I see. Then prepare yourself!

*fight*

*later*

Ike: So what was the final score?

Lucia: 356278463 to nothing.

Ike: Ah. So where is Mia, anyway?

Lucia: I think she's hiding in shame.

*elsewhere*

Random swordsmasters: Ha ha!

Mia: Wtf?

*Back*

*A swift shadow runs away from the camp*

The Adventures of Chainey #4

Gatrie: Ooh, there goes Micaiah... To bad that if I hit on her, Sothe would kill me. Wait, why is she coming this way?

Micaiah: Gatrie... I want you because I'm sick of belly-shirt.

Gatrie: ^_^

*kiss*

Sothe: Hey, Mic-OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLAREYOUDOING!?

Micaiah: *runs away*

Gatrie: Hey!

Sothe: Die, pervert!!!

*slash slash slash*

*next day*

Gatrie: Ugh...

Chainey: Heya, Gatrie!

Gatrie: Leave me alone... Or, even better, bring me Micaiah so I can run her through.

Chainey: Did Sothe catch you making out with her, or something?

Gatrie: Yes- Hey, was that you?

Chainey: :rolleyes: Yes.

Gatrie: :angry:

Chainey: *runs away*

The Adventures of Chainey Special Edition: The Search for Xane Part 1

Ike: So, why are you all here?

Everyone: WE NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT CHAINEY!!!

Ike: Oh, um... Chainey's not doing anything wrong... And he's giving us all a good laugh now and then... And he's pretty skilled... And-

Ike: *walks over* What's all the fuss?

Crowd: *double-take*

Chainey: Oh crap! *turns into Nailah and runs off*

Everyone: ARGH!!!

*later*

Ike: So it's agreed, then? Meg, Aran, Sothe, Volke, Zihark, and the twins will go and hunt down Chainey?

Meg: Yep.

Volke: Pay first. Assassination later.

Sothe: Sure... Micaiah's coming too, though.

Micaiah: ^_^

Zihark: Certainly. It's the most exciting thing around at the moment, anyway.

Jeorge & Daniel: Muston wants us to get that money back!

Aran: Yes! I finally get to have my revenge on that jerk for impersonating me because I have no personality!

Ike: Alright, then that's settled! I'm going too, just to keep an eye on you guys. And Soren, too...

Wait, since when did Aran ever have a desire for revenge? He doesn't even have a personality!

The newly named "Chainey Termination Squad": *looks at Aran*

Aran: What?

Chainey: Oh no, I've been found out!!!

CTS: Get him!!!

Chainey: *turns into Nailah* Ack!!! *runs off*

CTS: Grr...

Soren: OK, if "Aran" was Chainey, then where's Aran?

*meanwhile*

Aran: Mrmph!!!

Cellica: WTF?

*later*

Ike: Okay, is everyone ready?

Volke: ...

Meg: Yeah!!!

Sothe: Sure...

Micaiah: Uh-huh!

Zihark: Yep.

The twins: Let's get our money!!!

*the CTS goes to find Chainey*

*one week later*

Zihark: And you're sure that no one here's been acting strangely for the past few days?

Leaf: Nope.

Meg: Darn, I thought we'd have some progress by now...

Ike: Hmph. I'm bored. *Sees Shanam* Hey, want to fight?

Shanam: Sure...

*fight*

*later*

Ike: *rests Ragnell on shoulder* Finally, something worthwhile!!!

Zihark: Come on, I want to fight someone!

Shiva: *walks by* Hmph. Don't be so cocky.

Zihark: Oh? You want to teach me manners?

Shiva: You're going down!!!

*fight*

Meg: Umm... What about Chainey?

Soren: No one cares.

Meg: Come on guys! Some support please?

Sothe: *Looks up* Not really. We've got no progress so far. Some people are just restless. *Goes back to making out with Micaiah*

Volke: 30,000 Gold.

The twins: Yeah!!! Let's go find Chainey!!!

Meg: *facepalm* Really? ARGH!!!

Zihark: *pant* Wow... that guy was really good.

Ike: Really!? My opponent sucked!!!

Shanam: ...

Chainey: Oh, dear, they found me!

CTS: Get him!!!

*Chainey, in the ensuing chaos, manages to escape*

CTS: HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE ESCAPE!!??

Ike: Now, now, let's not involve King Leaf in all this.

Leaf: I would appreciate that, yes.

Ike: Chainey Termination Squad, MOVE OUT!!!

*CTS HQ*

Mist: So... He got away?

Ike: Somehow...

Meg: We need to rest here for a while.

Micaiah: Anyway, we have no leads because Soren-

Sothe: -lost the Chainey tracker tha-

Soren: THAT'S ENOUGH, NOW.

Mia: *snicker*

Gatrie: Hmph. Next time, let me go with you!

Nephenee: And me.

Ike: Fine, but it'll have to wait. We're all too tired to continue today...

*To be continued*

The Adventures of Chainey Special Editon: The Search for Xane INTERMISSION

Mia: So, how did you lose that tracker, Soren?

Soren: I-

Micaiah: -put it outside his tent. The next day, it was gone.

Gatrie, Nephenee and Shinon: *facepalm*

Meg: Well, at least this time we'll have Gatrie and Neph with us.

Gatrie: Yeah!!!

Nephenee: *facepalm again*

Soren: I finally have a lead, by the way. Chainey was sighted in Elibe.

Ike: Hmm... Well, that gives me an excuse to visit Hector...

Soren: *rolls eyes*

The new CTS team: LET'S GO!!! *rush towards the door*

Soren: Hey, wait-

*The team tramples Soren*

*later*

Soren: Ugh...

Ike: How are you feeling?

Soren: Like I got hit by a Berserker to the moon and back.

Ike: You're lucky that Brom wasn't there. And that Meg wasn't in her full battle armour.

Soren: She wasn't? She stepped on me first!!!

Ike: *eyebrow raise*

The Adventures of Chainey Special Edition: The Search for Xane Part 2

Ike: Alright, let's head out!!!

CTS: Yeah!!!

*Elibe*

Hector: Oh, hi Ike!

Ike: Hello... have you seen a guy named Chainey around?

Hector: No, but there was this guy with bright red hair and a feather in his hair.

Ike: Well, that's him. Where is he?

*complete silence*

Ike: Do you know?

*complete silence*

Hector: Well... no.

CTS: Damnit!!!

Random stranger: Well, he said that he could shapeshift!! When I challenged him to show me, he turned right into me!

Ike: Hmm...

*later*

Random Stranger: Well, hello, there!

Ike: You look just like that man we saw just now!

Chainey: Oh, dear...

CTS: GET HIM!!!

*Chainey puts up a good fight, but eventually, they tie him up.*

Chainey: Ugh... You got me.

Meg: Damn straight!

Ike: Gatrie, you guard him, since you have the most armour.

Meg: What!!! But I have lots of armour, too!

Ike: Well, here's the thing. If-

Nephenee: You suck.

Meg: Huh?

Ike: *sigh* Well, someone had to say it. She's right, Meg. You aren't really that good in combat. Which is why you end up riding the bench so much.

Meg: B-but... Waaa! *crying*

*Tellius*

Ike: Alright, we did it!!!

CTS: WE GOT HIM!!!

Ike: Now let's get him out so we can enjoy the sight of him hanging!!!

*in the back of the prison wagon*

Gatrie: *tied up* Rrmph.

Sothe and Micaiah: Gatrie!!!

Zihark: He's just trying to trick us...

Soren: *in a cast* But if this is Chainey... Then where's Gatrie?

*The CTS looks around the room*

Ike: Well, we couldn't find him.

Meg: What!? Then Chainey got away!!!

Ike: *ungags Gatrie* Gatrie, what happened?

Gatrie: I... was weak...

Chainey: *in the distance* Ha ha! You can't catch me now!!! See how many of you will still follow you now!!! *runs off*

Gatrie: Damn...

*flashback*

Chainey: *beautiful woman* Gatrie... please... help me...

Gatrie: Urgh... Must... resist... beauty!!!

Chainey: Please...?

Gatrie: ...

Chainey: *turns back* Gee, thanks. Now, my turn! *turns into Sedgar*

Gatrie: Oh, crap!

*end flashback*

Ike: ...

Soren: ...

Zihark: ...

Meg: ... YOU!!!

Soren: *steps between them* Now, now...

Sothe: Shinon's gone! And Volke, Naesala, Haar, Makalov and Astrid, too.

Ike: Chainey said that he had recruited some of our guys... Or he implied that... Damnit!!!

Soren: Anyway, we need to go after him, now!!!

CTS: Yeah!!!

*To be Continued*

The Adventures of Chainey Special Edition: The Search for Xane INTERMISSION

Kieran: You dastard! How dare you leave me in search of this- this- craven!!!

Oscar: Well, I can't help it if I don't like Chainey.

Rolf and Boyd: Oscar, we're coming, too!

Geoffrey: *sigh* I'll go with you guys, since there's nothing else to do.

Heather: Hey, look. There are some pretty ladies in that building over there.

Illyana: So... hungry... I smell food from there...

Lekain and Izuka: Why, look! There are so many people there that we can spread our genius to!

Renning: Hmph. Why, indeed, have I put up with Chainey's nonsense for far too long. I need to help them.

*inside*

Ike: Why are there so many people gathered around? Don't they know that we're about to go on an important mission/

Soren: Beats me.

The Adventures of Chainey Special Edition: The Search for Xane Part 3

Ike: Alright, now that we've cleared out all those people, let's go!!!

CTS: Yeah!!!

*the team moves out*

*the next day*

Soren: Ike, there's a castle ahead, bearing Chainey's flag!

Ike: All troops, move out!!!

*the castle*

Ike: Well, let's get through this big doo-

*an arrow zooms past his ear, nearly drawing blood*

Ike: *looks up* Shinon!

Shinon: Hello, Ikey-poo, you little moron. I've always wanted to do this!!!

*Shinon begins raining ballista shots down on the team*

Gatrie: Everyone, do this!!! *raises shield above his head*

Ike: Yeah!!!

*anyone who has a shield does that*

Soren: Okay, so Nephenee, Aran, Meg, and Gatrie have shields...

Ike: *deflects ballista shot* We need shelter!!!

*later*

Ike: Alright, let's do it!

*the CTS rolls a wooden statue of Gato up the hill*

*inside the statue*

Ike: (whisper) We need to keep quiet, and hope that Shinon doesn't tell them to burn this down...

*in the castle*

Soldier: Lord Shinon, the enemy has parked a large statue of Gato right outside our door!

Shinon: Burn it down!!!

*inside the statue*

Ike: Alright, at night, we'l-

Soldiers: *outside* Burn, burn, burn!!!

Soren: Everyone, out! Out!! OUT!!!

*The squad from inside the statue gets bombarded by balllista shots*

*CTS transport*

Soren: We need to find a way in without getting shot down.

CTS: No shit, Sherlock.

Soren: Well, so what!? I'm fresh out of ideas.

Ike: Really?

Soren: Well... I do have one idea. It has a low chance of success, though-

CTS: Then let's hear it!

Soren: We could run outside, storm the castle, and somehow avoid getting impaled by ballista shots.

Gatrie: *puts his face in his hands*

Soren: Well, do you have any ideas?

*complete silence*

Ike: Damnit!

Meg: I-I'll go!

*Meg runs out*

Ike: Well, she's going to get killed.

*outside*

Meg: Daddy!

Brom: Hello, Meg!

Meg: Daddy could you help us out?

Brom: Sure.

*Meg and Brom steamroll towards the castle*

Shinon; What!? They dare attack me? I'll teach them to fight me! *begins to rain down ballista shots on Meg and Brom*

*Meg and Brom block the bolts with their fatty power*

Ike: Holy shit!

*The CTS storms the castle*

Shinon: Well, it comes down to this, Ike...

Ike: Yep.

Shinon: I know you can handle yourself in a fight, Ike. So let's go, one-on-one, mano-a-mano, uh... I'm out, do you have any?

Ike: ... Everyone, charge!!! ((In case anyone's wondering, I got that from Luminous Arc 2.))

Shinon: Hey, what happened to one-on-one? Grr... *draws bow*

*The CTS overwhelms Shinon, tying him up and putting him in the prison wagon*

Shinon: Argh, you beat me. But, you're too late... Chainey's not here... Ha... ha... ha...

Meg: Well, what was that about?

Shinon: I don't know. But Chainey isn't here.

Gatrie: Shinon, where is he?

Shinon: He's in-

*a shadow rushes by Shinon, who drops, nearly dead*

Shinon: Argh... Messed that up, huh? Volke? *falls unconscious*

Volke; Hmph.

Ike: Volke!

Volke: Now you'll never know the location of my current employer. *vanishes*

Ike: Wait! Volke!!! Damnit, we need to follow him!

*To be continued*

The Adventures of Chainey #6

Jill: Well, Haar, I've put this off for far too long now.

Haar: ...Zzzzz...

Jill: ... *Kisses Haar*

Haar: ... Huh?

Jill: !

Haar: ...

Jill: *runs off*

*later*

Haar: Well, that's my preliminary pre-evening pre-nap...

Jill: *edges away*

Haar: Hm? Jill?

Jill: *runs away*

Haar: Well, she's acting strangely after what happened...

*elsewhere*

Chainey: Hm... where else am I going to wreck mischief?

Jill: Hey, Chainey!!!

Chainey: Oh, hello, Jill.

Jill: *punch* That's what you get for kissing Haar!

Brom: Alright, commander, what are we gonna do now?

Geoffery: Um... Who are you?

Brom: Well, Elincia liked how well I fought in the Mad King's War, so-

Geoffery: -she conscripted you into the knights.

Brom: Well... Yeah.

Geoffery: *under breath* Why'd it have to be me? *out loud* Keiran, this is your job! Make sure that Brom helps out, and knows our routine!

Keiran: Yessir!!!

Geoffery: Alright, move out!!!

*later*

Brom: So, um... Keiran?

Keiran: Yes?

Brom: How do you guys get around so fast?

Keiran: Well, I am Keiran, the Crimson Flash! I get around all of-

Brom: Yes, yes, but how do the others?

Keiran: Oh, well... We use our horses! For there is no other way to-

Brom: Fine.

Keiran: Now, lets us go out and defeat our enemies! *rides off*

Brom: What a strange fellow.

Keiran: Hmm... Where'd that oaf go?

Brom: Hyah! Hyah! *misses enemies*

Keiran: Well, he sucks.

Brom: *trips and flattens an enemy*

Keiran: *rides over* So, how are you doing?

Brom: This fighting business is quite tiring! I need a break!

Keiran: Brom, you need to stand up! A true knight never sits down-

Brom: Well, you get to sit around all battle on that horse of yours!

Keiran: *under breath* Well, at least he isn't sitting on me...

Lethe: Um... Who are you?

Keiran: Well, you usrely must of heard of me! I am known as-

Lethe: -the weirdo who's voice can be heard all over Gallia?

Keiran: Yes, that is my- Wait, what?

Lethe; You keep making lies about your 'legendary' strength, but any of us could beat you anyday.

Keiran: Never!

Lethe: You wanna try?

Keiran: Certainly!

*fight*

*374665967 fights later*

Lethe: Well, that enough for you?

Keiran: *beaten up and bruised and generally in the range of death* Ugh... never!

Lethe: Hmph.

*fight*

Ike: What's everyone gathered around for?

Geoffery: Well, we're all tired of Keiran's bragging. So, we decided to teach him a lesson.

Ike: ...

Geoffery: We would've let you come to the meeting too, but we just wanted to bruise him up a little.

Ike: No, it's just that- never mind. He deserves it, anyway.

VolugxLyre

Lyre: Hey there, handsome.

Volug: ...

Lyre: What? Is it my fur?

Volug: ...

Lyre: Waaa! What's wrong?

Volug: ...

Lyre: *crying* Fine, jerk!

Volug: ... (What was that all about?)

Edited by Gordaran

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On the note of being here (however briefly)

Meg: Oh man, I think Zihark may not like me.

Tormod: Yeah, that's too bad. We should totally go out.

Meg: And find Zihark?

Tormod: Well, if he's out there and we see him, so be it.

Meg: And we could convince him to love me!

Tormod: No! I mean you and me could go out, together!

Meg: Not following...

Tormod: Date me!

Meg: Oh...Oh! Ewww, short shorts. I mean, what we have is real inportant to me, and I wouldn't want to rui-

Tormod: Just go...

Meg: Sure thing.

Zihark: Wow, didn't see that coming.

Tormod: Yeah, my best friend accidentally mauls me on a regular basis, I've gotten used to life shitting on me, no matter how low I aim.

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aaand, life!

Heh, wish I could do that on GFAQs.

Lesse, for the sake of content...

Ranulf: Hey buddy.

Rolf: Don't I have a restraining order on you?

Ranulf: Laguz don't operate with pieces of paper.

Rolf: Whatever, just leave me alone.

Ranulf: But I just found out how to get you all hooked up with Mist.

Rolf: Ranulf, you've done nothing but steer me wrong. It's taken me a long time, but I've realized you're not my friend, you enjoy seeing harm come to me, and I'm done with you.

Ranulf: I've tried this one, it works, I promise.

Rolf: Leave, now.

Ranulf: Fine...

*later*

Mist: Oh Ranulf, that was the coolest thing ever!

Ranulf: I know, right? I just had this awesome idea to make up with Rolf and he shot me down, so I figured I'd give it a shot. How old are you, anyways?

Mist: 15.

Ranulf: 18? Great!

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