Mufasa Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 ..the special season premiere... As the group returned from a mission one fateful day, a brihgt flash of light engulfed the entire world, spreading fire across the land. In the chaos, the members of the group were seperated from each other. *Coolguyvaters and Fourth Fox return to the base one year later* Coolguyvaters: *sighs*...The base looks like it hasn't been cleaned in 5 years. Wonder how it survived the fire... Fourth Fox: We've only been gone for 1 year. Coolguyvaters: Oh... Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ... Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: Okay...Awkward silence. Speaking of silence, is there some sort of staff that could clean up bases? Fourth Fox: There is the Torch staff. Coolguyvaters: I said clean, not burn. Fourth Fox: What's the difference? Coolguyvaters: Good point. Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ... Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ... Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: Okay...More awkward silence. Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ... Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ...This place brings back painful memories. Fourth Fox: You're still bitter about Zephrion hitting you with a Tornado, aren't you? Coolguyvaters: After that day, I swore to kill Zephrion. Then Fireman killed him, then it turned out Zephrion was still alive. I swore again to kill Zephrion, but couldn't keep that promise because of that fateful day. Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: Hey, I bet Metal Rabbit's old "magazines" are still here. I'm gonna go..."read" them to get my mind distracted. Fourth Fox: ... -Mainal Cathedral- Kiryn: All bow down to your Apostle/Empress/Chosen one! Begnion citizens: yeahrulekdflkjewiokjrewdsfasktone Kiryn: These people are always so loud... I can never tell what they're saying... I kinda miss the group. DragonBlader: Just smile and wave, Apostle Kiryn. Kiryn: So you're tellling me that I'm the Apostle? DragonBlader: Yes. Kiryn: And I'm the empress, too? DragonBlader: Yes. Kiryn: I'm also the chosen one? DragonBlader: Yes. Kiryn: Wow. My life rocks. DragonBlader: To think I go through this everyday... Guard: My lady, someone is here to see you. He claims to know you. Kiryn: Let him in. *Fireman walks in* Fireman: Hello, Kiryn. Kiryn: Who are you? Fireman: Bye-bye, Kiryn. Kiryn: What? DragonBlader: Ha! *DragonBlader hits Fireman with a Silver Axe, but Fireman criticals DragonBlader* DragonBlader: Damn. *falls unconscious* *Fireman kidnaps Kiryn* (Sounds familiar, doesn't it?) -at a hideout in the Hatari desert- Ilyana: Did you get her? Fireman: Yes. 3-13 Archer(who was previosuly Ilyana): Were you followed? Fireman: Yes. Fomortiis(who was previously 3-13 Archer): WHAT?! Fireman: Don't worry, it's only Metal Rabbit. Naesala(who was previously Fomortiis): They're alive?! Fireman: Yes. Tibarn(who was previously Naesala): Kill him. Fireman: That will cost you 10,000. Leanne(who was previously Tibarn): Fine. Make sure to bring him in barely alive after being tortured. *pays Fireman 10,000 gold* Fireman: Alive and tortured will cost you extra. Bolting(who was previously Leanne): How much? Fireman: 11,000. Meteor(who was previously Bolting): What? Why? Fireman: It's hard keeping people alive. Jaffar(who was previously Meteor): Fine *pays Fireman 11,000 gold* (Sorry Metal Rabbit. The fans demand it.) -somewhere in the Hatari desert- Metal Rabbit: How did Fireman get this far? Fireman: I used Comcast Power Boost. Metal Rabbit: Can I try some? Fireman: Sure. Make sure to get it in your eyes. Metal Rabbit: Okay. *spreads it in his eyes* AHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Fireman: Lemon juice. *gets out a whip and starts whipping MR* Metal Rabbit: What's your problem!? *Fireman throws Peshkatz at Metal Rabbit's eyes* Fireman: Business as usual. Metal Rabbit: Oh, then I understand. Would you like to apply jumper cables to my ears and electrocute me while you drag me across the desert floor? Fireman: ...Fine. *Metal Rabbit gets hit by a Tornado* Zephrion: Uhh...I was aiming for Fireman. Metal Rabbit: What is this fading feeling? Coolguyvaters: Ugh... Metal Rabbit: I feel like I'm dying. Fourth Fox: Nice aim, Zephrion. Zephrion: Thank you, o' queen of the forest. Metal Rabbit: Omg! Kool-aid! Oh, wait. It's blood... Fourth Fox: I was being sarcastic. Zephrion: My apologies for my misinterpretation o' queen of the forest. Metal Rabbit: And I thought my metal exterior was impenetrable... Fourth Fox: Anyway, shall we rescue Metal Rabbit and Kiryn? Coolguyvaters: Isn't that what we came here to do, o' queen of the forest? Fourth Fox: Just say Fox. Formalities aren't needed. Metal Rabbit: A light shines intensely in the distance... Zephrion: Shall we kill Fireman, Fox? Fourth Fox: You will adress me as queen or so help me, I shall throw you onto the chocolate pudding chair! The stains would never come out!!! Zephrion: Yes, o' queen of the forest. Metal Rabbit: Good-bye cruel messed-up world... *Zephrion attacks with Tornado and he luckily criticals Fireman with it* Fireman: I'll be back... This job isn't worth it... *Fireman retreats* *Zephrion heals Metal Rabbit with a Mend* Fourth Fox: Wow, Zephrion. A critical, a successful heal, and you used a mend this time! Zephrion: Oh yeah! I'm on a role! *accidentally fires a Tornado at CGV* Coolguyvaters: Damn it, Zephrion! Zephrion: I can fix it! *heals Coolguyvaters with a Torch* Coolguyvaters: The wounds!!! They burn! Zephrion: I can fix that too! Fourth Fox: Maybe I should try. Zephrion: Yes, o' queen of the forest. *Fourth Fox heals Zephrion with a heal* Zephrion: And I was on a role too... Coolguyvaters: Now let's go kick some costume changing ass! Metal Rabbit: Who? Fourth Fox: Ilyana. Metal Rabbit: Oh. -somewhere far from the forest- Bianchi: So did the plan go well? Fireman: It went exactly as planned. Every last, strange detail... Bianchi: Wow. I thought my plan would fail at first. Fireman: So did I... Bianchi: Soon... The world shall realize that I am there one true goddess!!! Fireman: Well, the world has bowed down to crazier people... Bianchi:(Insert maniacal laughter here). Fireman: Then again... -back in the desert hideout 1 day later- Kiryn: So... You gonna let me go? Ilyana: No. Kiryn: Can you at least untie my hands? 3-13 Archer(who was previously Ilyana): Sure. I don't see why not. Kiryn: Can you hand me by bow? Fomortiis(who was previously 3-13 Archer): Okay. Here you go. *Kiryn shoots Naesala(who was previously Fomortiis) and it does bonus damage because Naesla=flying unit* Tibarn(who was previously Naesala): Damn. I should have seen that coming. *CGV, Metal Rabbit, Fourth Fox, and Zephrion break into the base* Coolguyvaters: We're here to save you Kiryn! Kiryn: You guys are late! Metal Rabbit: Sorry. We stopped for tacos, then for karaoke, then for "magazines", then for tacos again. Fourth Fox: Why did you do it, Tibarn? Or should I say Leanne? Leanne(who was previously Tibarn): Ask Bianchi. But only Fireman knows where she is. Zephrion: I know the perfect way to summon Fireman... *sets Serenes Forest on fire again* Zephrion: I never get tired of this. Episode 2 Coolguyvaters: Ok everyone, we got lucky in the past fighting the enemy, especially with Zephrion goofing up the healing process... Zephrion:*shrugs shoulders in embarassment* Coolguyvaters: ...Ilyana's constant outfit change, which I almost killed her once because I thought she was an enemy... Ilyana: You WHAT?! Coolguyvaters: ...nothing Ilyana. And also because of Fireman's disappearing acts. *looks around* Damn it! Where is he?! Fireman: *out of nowhere* right here Coolguyvaters: AH! Damn it Fireman, that's exactly what I'm talking about! You can't keep doing that. I need to know roughly where you are so if we need you, I can call you for help Fireman: But it's so much fun sneaking up and scaring people Fourth Fox: Yeah we know... Dragondblader: We ALL know... *shivers* Coolguyvaters: I thought we should see what skills we've acquired so I know how I can stratagize our next attack so we don't get royally screwed. Ok everyone, what do you got? Quickie Coolguyvaters: Hey, Zephrion! *Vantage and Adept activate, so CGV gets hit by 2 Tornados* Cooguyvaters: Damn, it Zephrion! Zephrion: Don't worry! I'm also a healer... I'll go get Fourth Fox... Coolguyvaters: Ugh... Can you bring me back a bagel? Episode 3 Zephrion has to run on an errand to the town to gather more tomes and items. Zephrion: Blast. I hate having to walk all the way here. I mean, why doesn't Queen Fourth Fox do it? She's got a horse with four legs. Or Kiryn? She's got a pegasus with five legs. No, wait. Pegasi have four legs too. Ah! *arrives at the shop* Fireman: Welcome. I'm the keeper of this shop. How can I help you? Zephrion: Don't I know you? Fireman: 1,000. Zephrion: What? Fireman: 1,000 to answer your question. *Zephrion pays 1,000 gold to Fireman* Fireman: No. Zephrion: No? Fireman: Yes. Zephrion: Yes to the no? Or yes as in yes? Fireman: Moving on...What would you like? Zephrion: I would like a...*gets out a long list* Heal... Mend... Wind... Tornado... Elfire... Bolganone... Rexbolt... Elixir... Concotion... There's more, but we can't afford the rest. Fireman: That will be... some amount of gold. You do the math. Zephrion: Okay. *pays gold* Where's the Rexbolt? Fireman: Can't get it here. You can get it at Fireman's Black Market across from Bianchi's little shop in the forest. It has everything for only 100 gold. Zephrion: Why didn't anyone tell me? Fireman: I'm guessing they didn't feel like it. *Zephrion leaves and heads to the Black Market, but the entrance is locked* Zephrion: I'll just blow up the entrance. *casts Tornado, but the Tornado careens out of control and heads toward the base* -back at the base- Coolguyvaters: Hmmm... *the sound of wind in the distance* Coolguyvaters: My "about to be hit by a tornado" senses are tingling. *Tornado appears in sight and heads toward CGV, but CGV stops it with his bare hands(even though that defies many rules of logic)* Coolguyvaters: Not this time Zephrion! *gets hit by a second tornado* Coolguyvaters: Damn it, Zephrion! -in front of Fireman's Black Market- Zephrion: I wonder where that second Tornado I cast went... *store opens* Fireman: Welcome. Zephrion: Aren't you the guy from the shop? Fireman: I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. Zephrion: But how did you- When did you- Never mind. I'd like to buy a Rexbolt. Fireman: That will be 100 gold. *Zephrion pays 100 gold* Zephrion: There's a lock on this Rexbolt! Fireman: Oooh. Sorry about that. The guy in the armory has the key to the lock. Zephrion: Okay. Using my super-fast wind powers, I'll just get there via Tornado. *Zephrion rides a Tornado towards the town, causing a path of destruction as he goes* -in the armory- Zephrion: Hello? Fireman: Yes? Zephrion: Fireman?! But you were- I just- How could- Never mind. I'd like to get the key to this lock. Fireman: It's gonna cost you. Zephrion: How much? Fireman: 5,000. Zephrion: For a key? Fireman: It opens the Rexbolt lock. Zephrion: Fine, but this better be worth it. *pays 5,000 gold and uses the key to open the Rexbolt lock* Zephrion: ... Fireman: What is it. Zephrion: Someone left a "magazine" in here... Along with an old taco... Fireman: And the problem is? *Zephrion gets into the fetal postition* Zephrion: ... Fireman: Hello? Zephrion: I'm in a state of bewilderment right now. Fireman: I know the perfect therapist. -at the therapist- Zephrion: Are you my therapist? Fireman: Why yes I am. Zephrion: ... I'm not even going to comment on that. Fireman: So tell me, what is it about life that's bothering you right now? Zephrion: It all started when I hit puberty... -back at the base- Fourth Fox: Where's Zephrion with our stuff? Coolguyvaters: He'll be back eventually. Fourth Fox: How do you know? Coolguyvaters: I hired Fireman to keep Zephrion occupied and out of our hair for a little while. *Zephrion returns with a lance piercing in his chest* Zephrion: You guys will not believe the day I've had... Fourth Fox: Uhhh....Zephrion. You do know there's a lance in your chest? Zephrion: I don't want to talk about it. Fourth Fox: I'd heal him, but he looks like he's had a rough day. I'll wait until tomorrow. Coolguyvaters: Judging by the edge of that lance, it doesn't like there will be a tomorrow. Don't worry. Zephrion survives...for now.... Episode 5 Dragonblader1: No one is paying attention to me... Zephrion: Hi, are you new around here? Dragonblader1: No you retard. It's me, you know... Zephrion: Hmm... where did he go? He was just here... Dragonblader1: I'm still here... Zephrion: Hey Fireman! Have we ever had a Dragon Lord? Fireman: No, why? Zephrion: There was this guy here a minute ago who said he's been here. Fireman: If you see him again tell him we've never met him. Zephrion: Can do! Dragonblader1: You guys are all bastards and I hate you. Zephrion: What? Who said that? Are the voices in my head telling me to attack CoolGuyVaters with another Tornado and pretend it's an accident? Dragonblader1: Retard. ~Elsewhere~ Dragonblader1: Hey, pet dragon thing that I ride on! How can I get people to pay attention to me? Dragon: Woof. Dragonblader1: Nah, I've burnt down the forest multiple times already. Dragon: Meow. Dragonblader1: That's a great idea! ~Back at base~ Dragonblader1: Hey! Fourth Fox! Get over here! Fourth Fox: What do you want person I've never met but strangely knows my name? Dragonblader1: But... nevermind. Anyways... ~Elsewhere~ Dragonblader1: The plan is going according to plan, dawg. Dragon: Quack. Dragonblader1: Don't get your throat in a knot, it'll be fine. ~In the forest~ Dragonblader1: Thank you for coming. CoolGuyVaters: Uh-huh. Bianchi: Yes? Dragonblader1: Here, have a drink before we begin. Bianchi: Thank you. CoolGuyVaters: This tastes funny... Bianchi: You didn't... Dragonblader1: Yah I did. CoolGuyVaters: You poisoned us you bastard! Dragonblader1: That would've been better than just peeing in it... but... Dragonblader1, after giving CoolGuyVaters and Bianchi the water with pee in it, burnt down the forest with them in it. ~At the grave site~ Zephrion: Hey Dragonblader1! Dragonblader1: Hey Zephrion! Zephrion: Too bad about them, isn't it? Dragonblader1: Yeah. Let's leave now though, we're gonna get left behind. As they left a hand came out of both graves... Bianchi: This was bad and unfunny and you should feel bad and unfunny. CoolGuyVaters: Also, we're gonna eat your brain. Dragonblader1: Fuck you. Dragonblader1 then pulled out a double barrel shot gun and shot both of their in tact brains, then pulled their hearts out with his bare hands. Zephrion: This was still horrible and unfunny you know. Dragon: Die bitch. Zephrion was killed by Dragonblader1's pet dragon, who had coincidentally learned how to talk exactly 5 minutes after saying that. Episode 6 \\\\ (Mercenary Fort) Metal Rabbit: 649. Fireman: No. Metal Rabbit: 2220! Fireman: Nope. Zephrion: What are you playing? Fireman: Guess the number between 1 and 10. Metal Rabbit: 55! *collapses* Zephrion: ._. Fireman: ...later. Zephrion: Hey! What about him? Fireman: What about him? Zephrion: He just f-ing collapsed. Fireman: ...so? Zephrion: MR? You there? Metal Rabbit: ...nn... ..needs... moar... ketchup........... Fireman: See? He's fine! *leaves* \\\\ (outside) CGV: Okay ladies, keep it up! *Zeph appears* Zephrion: Dare I ask what you're up to? CGV: I'm filming an excercise video for overweight women. I had Fox put on a fat suit to help out. Fox: I'll kill you! CGV: Blackmail is fun... Zephrion: ... \\\\ (in the forest) Bianchi: Kiryn, you know where we are? Kiryn: ...in the forest? Bianchi: ! How did you know!? Kiryn: ...I'm wondering whether its you or MR who has more problems. (in a bush near) ???: I'll jump out and take them out! That way everyone will know the name of dragon! Fireman: Hello there. Dragon: *topples over* WTF did you do that for?! Fireman: Suprising people is fun. Who are you anyway? Dragon: Its DRAGON! Kiryn: Is that you Fireman? What are you doing out here? Fireman: Taking a piss, move along. Bianchi: Okay! *they leave* Dragon: Gah! I missed my oppurtunity! *fireman begins to leave* Dragon: Where do you think you're going? Fireman: Gotta take a piss. *leaves* \\\\ (In the fort) Fox: ...im gonna fucking kill him in his sleep... CGV: Hey, great job out there Fox! We'll make alot of gold doing this thing. Zephrion: ...you gotta move your infantry west here. Kiryn: What are they playing? CGV: Advance Wars I guess. Zephrion: Now you have that airport under controll! You know what to do! Metal Rabbit: What's an airport? (this is an advance wars reference, if you dont get it, you suck) *someone smashes in the door* Dragon: Do not fear mercenaries, I will not harm you! *everyone draws a weapon and trains it on his head* CGV: Get out. Fox: Who the fuck are you anyway? Dragon: What's with the fat suit? Fox: *mutters obscenities very fast* *Metal Rabbit pulls out a piece of cake* Dragon: I'm Dragon! Don't forget it! Metal Rabbit: You're a what now? *Dragon throws his axe at MR* *it hits his plate, causing the cake to spill* Metal Rabbit: ...my cake... CGV: Oh shit! Everyone take cover! *all other mercenaries hide* Dragon: What's going on?! Metal Rabbit: I was saving that piece for exactly this time, of this day, of this year. You know how much planning it took?! Dragon: Uh... well... *Metal Rabbit fires an arrow through Dragon's shoulder* Dragon: ! You fucking shot me! I can't use my axe!! *leaves* *MR cries* Kiryn: There there, MR. Zephrion: There will always be other cake. Metal Rabbit: *sniff* I know... Zephrion: You know what we should do? Fireman: Noone cares. *everyone goes and does something else* \\\\ (that next day) Metal Rabbit: ._. Bianchi: ._. Kiryn: So whoever blinks first loses, right? Zephrion: Yep. CGV: 300 gold on Bianchi. Noone can best that blank mindless stare. Fox: Not unless your MR. *this goes on for another minute* *bang* CGV: Who the fuck threw a flash bomb?! Kiryn: Bianchi blinked! CGV: NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! Fireman: ...right. *flees* *There's a knock on the door* Fox: Yeah, what do you want? Person: Yes, Is a mister Rabbit here? Fox: Yep. Person: Mr. Rabbit, on behalf of my client, Dragon, we're suing you for damages caused by your actions yesterday. Kiryn: Who's Dragon? Person: You've been served, we'll see you in court tommorow. *leaves* Bianchi: *rubs eyes* Kiryn: Ouch... well what are you gonna do for defense MR? Metal Rabbit: I have someone in mind! Fox: Who? Metal Rabbit: Pheonix Wright! Zephrion: ...we've gone over this... he's not real. Metal Rabbit: ._. *leaves* Zephrion: Ah... I guess its up to me. *leaves to study case files* \\\\ (the next morning, in the court lobby) Fox: Are you sure you're up to this Zeph? Zephrion: I can do it... Kiryn: But you're sweating bullets... Zephrion: MR, If you get called to the witness stand, don't say anything that makes you seem guilty. Metal Rabbit: ...did you say something about box springs? Zephrion: ... Fox: The trial is starting! \\\\ (in the court) *bangs gavel* Judge: Let's get this over with. Is everyone ready? Lawyer: The Plaintiff is ready. Zephrion: The defense is ready your honor. Judge: Okay, so anyone mind telling me what happened? Lawyer: Yes. The defendent shot an arrow purposely through my clients arm, causing severe nerve damage. This means he can't wield an axe. Without that, he can't do his job. Kiryn: Zeph, shouldn't you do one of those objection thingys? Zeph: yeah! (louder) Objection! Zephrion: You say you can't do your job without an axe? Dragon: That's right. Zephrion: Well, you're class can also use lances, which are one handed as well. Lawyer: However, lances suck dirty balls. Zephrion: What?! Judge: Agreed. Zephrion: (we've already lost) Judge: Let's call... um what's his name again? Lawyer: It's... um... I wrote it down somewhere... Dragon: It's fucking dragon! Judge: very well mr. fucking dragon, please tell us about the injury. Dragon: Very well. When the arrow pierced through my arm, it hurt like hell. I had to hold it the whole way back so i still knew it was there. I mean, I lost all feeling in that arm. I felt pain all through the night in that arm. Burning pain! *clutches arm* Judge: I've heard enough. He's clearly guilty. Zephrion: Hold it! We have the right to cross examine the witness! Judge: Okay, but if you don't do it right, you automatically lose. Zephrion: (I'm already there...) Mr... witness. You say you felt burning pain in your arm, the same one you got shot in? Dragon: Did i freaking stutter? Zephrion: Objection! Your Honor, he couldn't have felt pain if he said he lost all feeling in the arm! Dragon: What?! Judge: ...I see no problem with that testimony. Zephrion: What? Judge: I'm ready to hand down my verdict. Zephrion: (No, he can't go to jail... he's my friend!) *looks at MR playing with a paper clip he found* *just then a paper ball hit Zeph in the head* Zephrion: What? *reads* Zephrion: Of course! It's so obvious! Your Honor, may I have one final statement? Judge: whatever. Zephrion: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, that guy's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client suffered severe nerve damage. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing! Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a borderline retard, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests. Judge: Hmm... Lawyer: Oh no! Dragon: What? Lawyer: The Chewbacca Defense! Dragon: So? Lawyer: You don't understand! Noone can beat that! *leaves* Judge: very well, I find Metal Rabbit: NOT GUILTY \\\\ (in the lobby) Fox: You did it! Kiryn: That was brilliant Zeph! How'd you think of it? Zeph: Someone threw a paper ball at me and it said "use the chewbacca defense". *turns to MR* Congratz! Metal Rabbit: That's fine and all, but... Pheonix Wright really doesnt exist... Zephrion: ...I wouldn't be so sure, take a look. *MR reads the paper out loud* "use the chewbacca defense, love Pheonix Wright* Metal Rabbit: Yay! :D *everyone leaves happy and all* Fireman: Okay, but now we're even. CGV: Kay. That was still nice of you to write that note, even if I was blackmailing you. Fireman: The next moment you're alone, you're dead. *leaves* CGV: ...uh oh. \\\\ end Episode 7 Announcer: This game's winner is... Ike! Zephrion: Yes, I win again! In your FACE! Coolguyvaters: Oh, you cheated and we all know it. Dragonblader: You have to be kidding... You know only losers spam Quick Draw. Fourth Fox: Like you're one to talk. You ran to the edge of the stage and spammed Aura Sphere the entire time. Zephrion: Owned. Dragonblader: Shut up Zephrion. Metal Rabbit walks in. Metal Rabbit: Hey guys, what are you doing? Coolguyvaters: Playing Super Smash Bros Brawl. Metal Rabbit: Never heard of it. Fourth Fox: We just picked up today, along with a Wii. Zephrion: It's awesome. Probably the best game ever. Metal Rabbit: Better than Phoenix Wright? Dragonblader: MUCH better than Phoenix Wright. Metal Rabbit: ._. Fourth Fox: What did you have to go and do that for!? Dragonblader: I thought it would be funny. And it is! Look, he's having a nervous breakdown! I gotta go get my camera! *Runs off.* Fourth Fox: Hmm... Coolguyvaters: What's wrong? Fourth Fox: Doesn't the fact the we live in the middle of a forest, and still have all this technology disturb you two at all? Zephrion: Not really. Fourth Fox: What about the fact that we have no generator of any sort, and here we are, having an action-packed no holds barred showdown? Coolguyvaters: Why would we need a generator? That tree seems to be working just fine. Just then, the game and TV shut off. Coolguyvaters: What the... Damnit Ilyana, did we tell you to stop!? Ilyana: You will all burn for this someday... *Casts Elthunder on the Tree.* Meanwhile... Dragonblader: Hey! Have you seen my camera? Metal Rabbit is having a nervous breakdown! Kiryn: Ooooh, really? I think Fireman had it last. Maybe he knows where it is. Dragonblader: Augh, Fireman!? We'll never find hi-- Fireman: Right here. Dragonblader: What...How did you...Where did you... Fireman: Yes, yes. I know I'm ninja. So you called? Kiryn: Have you seen Dragonblader's camera. Metal Rabbit is having a nervous breakdown and we have to take record of it! Fireman: 10,000. Dragonblader: But we don't have that kind of money with us! Fireman: I guess you'll have to find it yourselves then. Kiryn: Wait! How about if we give you the pictures. Then you can use them to blackmail Metal Rabbit. Fireman: Hmm... Good point. Alright, deal. Your camera is in your pocket, Dragonblader. Dragonblader: ..................... Kiryn: Hurry up! I don't want to miss this! Back at the game... Announcer: This game's winner is... Ike! Coolguyvaters: You gotta be f---ing kidding me. Zephrion: Oh yeah! Can't touch this skill! Fourth Fox: If you call spamming a skill. Zephrion: It's a legitimate strategy! Kiryn: Hey! Where's Metal Rabbit? We need to take embarrasing photos of him before it's too late! Coolguyvaters: He's behind that tree over there, rocking back and forth and muttering something about objections. Kiryn: Great! Did you bring the camera Dragonblader? Dragonblader: I don't see why I couldn't have, seeing as it was in my pocket the entire freakin' time. Kiryn: Great! Oh Metal Rabbit... How 'bout a picture? Metal Rabbit: Objection... Overruled... Defense... Prosecuter... Phoenix... Wright... Chewbacca... Chewbacca... CHEWBACCA! Zephrion: Huh. Well, who's up for a rematch! Fourth Fox: ... Coolguyvaters: ... Zephrion: Fine! I'll just play by myself then! A short time later... Coolguyvaters: You know, it's funny. Fourth Fox: What? Coolguyvaters: The episode is almost over, and yet I haven't been horribly maimed or killed. Fourth Fox: Miracles do happen. Zephrion: AUGH! Damn you Duon! Zephrion fires a Tornado at the television, which bounces off and heads straight in CGV's direction. Coolguyvaters: WOAH! *Dodge.* ...I...I dodged it. YES! IN YOUR FACE! You thought you had me didn't you? Well not this time bitch! Ahahahaahaha!!! *Turns around to face the carnage that the Tornado had created upon missing CGV.* ...Oh. Zephrion: -Adept- Coolguyvaters: Well damn. This is gonna take a while to fix. *Turns back around to see a Tornado right in front of him.* Oh... You gotta be shi-- *Tornado Pwnage.* Someone help! The Kool-Aid is back! Episode 8 ~At the mercenary base~ Fox: Grab your weapons everyone. We've been given a job. CGV: What is it? And tell me we don't have to escort another princess. Zephrion: Will it involve me using Tornado? I'd really rather not risk it again…. Fox: Neither. Well, I don’t know about the tornado part… We’ll be doing some recon outside of the forest. I’ve heard tell of a rebel group that wants to infiltrate the forest. Metal Rabbit: What is a “rebel”? Kiryn: It means they don’t like us. Fox: Thank you Kiryn. They appear to be lead by a mad-woman who thinks she is a queen. I already hired Fireman to help. He’s there now posing as a member. CGV: Wow, how much did that cost? Fox: I hired him from his discount store using my persuasive abilities…. Zephrion: So what do we do when we get there? Fox: All will be explained on the way. ~Rebel base~ Bianchi: Haha!!!!! Bianchi is gaining more followers by the day!!!! And these exclamation points are Bianchi's highlight!!!!! Wait a minute. New recruit, what did you say your name was? Fireman: It’s uh….Leila! Bianchi: Isn’t that a girl’s name. Fireman: Don’t remind me. Please. Bianchi: Whatever you say, as long as you aren’t a spy. ~On the route to the rebel base~ Fox: Items-check. Weapons-check. Skills-check. Looks like we’re all ready. CGV: Wait, I forgot something! *Runs back to mercenary base* Zephrion: Ugh, again? That Bast-Oops, dastard! Metal Rabbit: Where did he go? Kiryn: He’s dead, Metal Rabbit. Metal rabbit: That’s too bad. I feel so sorry for you, Fox. Fox: Right…Anyway, let’s get down to business. I’ll fill in my brother when he gets back. You must do exactly as I say, or everything will have been for nothing. Got it? Zephrion: Got it! Kiryn: Got it! Metal Rabbit: I don’t got it…. Fox: Good. Here’s the plan…. ~Rebel base~ Bianchi: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soon Bianchi will rule this world!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha-*coughcough* Ugh, Leila get Bianchi's *cough* fire extinguisher! Fireman: Here. *Pulls fire extinguisher from nowhere* Bianchi: That was fast. *Sprays into mouth* Much better. It’s like you’re a fireman or something. Fireman: That’s the craziest thing I ever heard! Bianchi: Bianchi knows, huh? Bianchi is going to take a nap. Fireman: I must report to Fox….. ~On the route to the rebel base~ CGV: *Panting* I’m….back. Fox: What did you forget? CGV: Oh, just some…reading material, you know? *whispers to Zephrion* YOU know what I mean…*winks* Zephrion: …. Fox:…..I’ve explained the plan to everyone else. I’ll tell you as we go. Metal rabbit: Plan? I never heard a plan! Kiryn: Don’t you remember anything? Metal rabbit: ,_, Kiryn: Whatever. You’ll hear it again. Zephrion: And I’m carrying a heal staff, just in case. Fox: Uh…why don’t I hold onto that, just in case? Zephrion: Are you sure? Ok…. CGV: Alright, what’s the plan? Fox: Well, first off…… TO BE CONTINUED. Episode 9 \\\\ (in the fort) Metal Rabbit: ... *he's playing something on the wii* Fox: Why's everyone inside when they can be outside getting excercize? CGV: It's fucking raining. *lightning flashes* Fox: But it seems like we could STILL do something! *another flash* CGV: Seems like it, but good luck finding someone to do it. Just take a look: MR is playing a new game, Bianchi needs bedrest for the burns she got when she forgot how to turn the shower off, Fireman is... well i don't know where the hell he is, Zeph and Kiryn are playing korean checkers, and you and I are having a pointless debate. Fox: ...Korean Checkers? Zephrion: We have nukes bitch! Kiryn: We have America to help us commie! CGV: It appears he's north and she's south. *3rd flash* Fox: ...! The forest is on fire! CGV: Quick, grab the extinguisher! *Fox grabs MR* \\\\ (outside) Fox: Go boy! Get that fire! Metal Rabbit: Mkay, but what's my motivation? CGV: ... Fox: ...just do it. *MR eats fire* Metal Rabbit: I'm tired. *falls asleep in the rain* Fox: Whew... atleast nothing bad happened. Fox: ... CGV: ... Fox: I SAID atleast nothing bad happened! *a tree arm fell off and hit her in the head* CGV: Fox!!! (this is a starfox reference, if you dont get it then you really suck) \\\\ (inside) CGV: What the hell are we going to do? Zephrion: I'm no expert, but I'd say she's suffering severe internal bleeding from the blunt object that smacked her in the head. Kiryn: We can't get her to a doctor in time! Zephrion: What can we do? Kiryn: I guess make her as comfortable as possible... CGV: No!!! Fireman: What'd I miss? Zephrion: Fox was... Fireman: Zip it, i really dont care. Metal Rabbit: So is it a surgeon you need? Zephrion: What do YOU know about brain surgery? Metal Rabbit: I know she'll die if she doesn't get help. Kiryn: ...did you just talk like a normal person? Metal Rabbit: Now's not the time. Okay, you three are my nurses. I need to wash up. *leaves* Zephrion: ...what do we do? CGV: You can't let him cut her open! He's an idiot! *falls asleep* Fireman: That's all I'm gonna do. *leaves* \\\\ (a few minutes later) Metal Rabbit: Okay, let's begin. Kiryn: How are you a surgeon? Metal Rabbit: I was playing Trauma Center on the Wii. Zephrion: ...are you good? Metal Rabbit: I beat easy mode... once... with hacking devices... so let's cut her up! Scalpel! Zephrion: I think I'm gonna be sick. Kiryn: ... (he makes the incision and opens up her fucking skull) Kiryn: o_o Metal Rabbit: That must be the tumor! It's HUUUGE! scalpal! Zephrion: No you moron, that's her brain! Metal Rabbit: Nurse! Remove Zeph from the operating room. He's annoying me. Fireman: Yes doctor. *silences zeph* Kiryn: o_o (a few minutes into it) Metal Rabbit: Okay, now we nave to stop teh bleeding. Give me the drill! Kiryn: But You'll kill her! Metal Rabbit: Hey! I'm the doctor here! not you! Kiryn: *gives drill reluctantly* *wrrr!!!* Metal Rabbit: ...okay, maybe we shouldnt have done that... Kiryn: Metal Rabbit: Now we need to inject bleach into her so her so she gets cleaned up. Kiryn: But! Metal Rabbit: We've been over this before... (a few hours later) Metal Rabbit: All done! Close up nurse! *throws needle into wound as he leaves* Kiryn: o_o \\\\ (later) Metal Rabbit: The operation was a success! Kiryn: But there was nothing wrong with her! Metal Rabbit: Yes there was! Her earrings didn't match her eyes. Kiryn: No! No idiotic excuse for a doctor is gonna lecture me about appearences! I mean look at you! You don't even wear pants! Metal Rabbit: I... *fox appears* Fox: ...My head hurts. What's going on? Metal Rabbit: G'morning! Kiryn: This idiot operated on you even though you were fine. That's why you're head hurts! Metal Rabbit: You told?! Fox: WTF?! *she's pissed* Metal Rabbit: If it's any consolation, you're beautiful nekked. :D *Fox grabs one of Fireman's knives and silences MR* Kiryn: Happy ending? \\\\ end Episode 10 Part 2 ~On the road to the rebel base~ Fox: You all know what to do, right? CGV: Yeah! Kiryn: Yeah! Zephrion: Yeah! MR: No..... Kiryn: MR, all you need to do is stick close and do nothing else. MR: ok. ,_, ~At the rebel base~ Bianchi: Hahaha!!!!!!! We are so very close!!!!! We are almost ready to launch!!!!! Dragon (a.k.a. Dragonblader1), how close are we to launching our attack? Dragon: 2 days. Bianchi: We are so close!!!! Bianchi will have her VENGEANCE! Hanz: *Bursts in the door* Your majesty, look what I found! A spy! Fireman: Dammit.... Hanz: I caught him eavesdropping on you. Bianchi: Leila! And I had such high hopes for you, too! Kill him and leave his body in the forest like they did that other time! Hanz: *stabs Fireman* ~On the road to the rebel base~ MR: *Has a great sense of smell* Fox, I think I smell something. Fox: What does it smell like? MR: blood! Kiryn: Blood! Where? Tell us where! Zephrion: I see! Over there! Is that....it is! Fireman! *Group runs over* CGV: OMFGWTFHAXORZ what happened? He's been stabbed! Kiryn: Tell me he isn't dead. Fireman: I'm not dead. But it hurts. Fox: Oh, thank god. What's the report? Fireman: Heal me, dammit! Zephrion: I'm on it! *Grabs heal staff from nowhere* Fox: No! I'll handle this! *Heals Fireman to perfection* Fireman: It's about time. Those fools thought they had killed me. Ha! But it seems even professionals slip up every now and then. CGV: The report.... Fireman: Yes, of course. Bianchi the mad-woman is their leader. She is out for vengeance, on who or why I do not know. They plan to attack the forest in two days. And she has two powerful generals by the names of Hanz and Dragon on her side. Fox: That's good info. And if I remember correctly, your contract keeps you with us until this conflict is resolved, right? Fireman: 1,000. Fox: Nice try. You don't have to answer, just do it. Zephrion: *to CGV* Wow, she's good. CGV: She always was Zephrion: 0_o CGV: Dirty minded perv.... Fox: We just have to stop them within two days. Here's the plan.... ~Rebel Base~ Bianchi: No one can stand in Bianchi's way now!!!!!! But why will it take two days? Dragon: We don't have any weapons. We must buy them all, but we don't have the money either, so we've been raiding villages for money. We'll have enough in two days. Bianchi: So close. Prepare yourself, Fox!!! You will no longer be queen after this!!!!!! To be continued Episode 11 -On the road to the rebel base- Fox: I see the base. We have to find a way in. Fireman: 1000 and I'll go find it. Fox: No- they already think you're dead. We want to keep you a surprise for a while. Metal Rabbit: Ooh! I'll go! I'll go! Zephrion: I don't think that's a good idea. CGV: Me? Fox: Sure. Try to figure out where we can get in relatively unnoticed. -CGV runs off- -Even closer to the base- Guard 1: I think I hear something... Guard 2: Yeah... -looks around- CGV: -sneaking throught bushes- Nope, too many guards on that entrance... there better be another one... hey! Dragon has snuck up behind CGV and captures him. CGV: Holy s***! Who's that? Where are you taking me? Dragon: I've told you... I've told everyone who I am... and nobody listened. Except Queen Bianchi. That is why I now take you to her, so she can decide what to do with you. CGV: Oh snap... -Back at the group- Kiryn: That yell sounded kinda like CGV. Fox: Yeah... Zephrion: What yell? Fox: I think we have better hearing than you. Listen, I think CGV's been captured. We need someone to go find him. Kiryn: I'll go. I've got the pegasus. Fox: Right. Metal Rabbit: I wanted to go... Fox: Hush. -Kiryn takes off- Kiryn:...That must be that random guy whose name I forget... and there's CGV. Unconscious. That's not good... -fits arrow to string- Aim and... -shoots Dragon- -below- Dragon: Oof! -faints from injury- -Kiryn lands and loads CGV onto the back of her pegasus- Kiryn: Let's get outta here. -Kiryn flies back to the group- ...back where the group is waiting... MR: Hey! Wingbeats! It must be an ambush! Fox: MR, I think that's-- Too late. MR critical-hit shoots Kiryn and she falls off of her pegasus with 3 HP remaining, landing in a faceplant. Zephrion: You IDIOT! Now I have to use up a healing before we even reach their base! Zephrion and Fox run up to Kiryn, but stop: something freaky is happening. A huge pair of wings bursts out of Kiryn's shoulders, and cat ears pop out of her head. She tries to get up, but falls over instead. Zephrion: What in the... Fox: She was a subhuman? MR: Is she still hurt? Zephrion: Oh yeah. That. He tries to heal Kiryn, but she snarls when he approaches. Fox: Here, I've got a Physic staff. -heals Kiryn- Kiryn's HP is fully restored. The wings and ears disappear. Kiryn: FIIIREMAAAN! 10000 for maiming MR! Zephrion: Kiryn? Can we ask you something? Kiryn: What? Zephrion: WTH was that all about? Kiryn: MR shot me- Fox: No, that spazz-transform-thing. Kiryn: I don't know really. I think it has to do with having two Brands instead of one. Whenever I get hurt really bad, the wings and ears show up. I can fly and attack if I have to. You guys didn't know that? All: No.... MR: Hey, CGV's still hurt. Zephrion: I want the healing EXP this time! Fox: You're not allowed to kill him! The argument continues... ...Meanwhile, close to the base... Dragon: Curse you! I'll get revenge on... all of you... -to be continued- Episode 12 (Pant pant.) -nighttime- Fourth Fox: It's approaching nightfall. We shall continue our march first thing tomorrow morning. MR: But I wanted to shoot sombody... Kiryn: You just did. And might I add that you have amazing accuracy for someone who's always having an orgy. MR: Why thank you. Kiryn: ... Zephrion: MR, your magazines have some sweet...pictures. MR: Why thank you. Fourth Fox: Hey, where's Fireman? -beside the moonlit lake- *Fireman is smoking his pipe under the shadow of the tree, remembering his mission* -1 year ago- *a cloaked person enters a bar* cloaked person: I'm looking for a fireman. bar tender: Your request will be fulfilled within the hour. *loud noise in the background* cloaked person: ... bar tender: Sure is noisy tonight. person in background: Wanna get hot and sweaty together tonight, baby? bar tender: Must be that Coolguyvaters guy. He's always been a player. cloaked person: ... bar tender: You don't talk much, do you? cloaked person: ... I've noticed...you...clean those cups a lot... bar tender: Not much of a socializer, are you? cloaked person: ... *bar tender looks at clock* bar tender: Follow me to the back room. *cloaked person follows into the room* bar tender: He's in here. Fireman: Hello. cloaked person: Hello, Fireman. Fireman: You have another job for me? cloaked: Do you know of the establishemnt of the Serenes Forest kingdom? Fireman: After Queen Fourth Fox was elected queen, Serenes Forest was officially recognized as a small country. cloaked: Yes. Lately, Queen Fourth Fox has been gaining too much power. I need you to get close to them and when the time comes, kill Fourth Fox. Fireman: Finally decided to make a move, eh? cloaked: Yes....I've also heard of a secret resistance leader by the name of Bianchi. If she interferes with the plan in any way, make sure she's killed. Fireman: Okay. This will all cost you 1,000,000 gold. cloaked: What?! That's a preposterous price! Fireman: There's no telling how long this job will take and how difficult it may prove to be. I hear most of the group members are idiots. I also know I'm the only one who can and is willing to take on this job. cloaked: Done your research again, eh? Fireman: So what will it be? cloaked: Fine. I remember a time where you didn't charge so much for eveything. Fireman: Those were simpler times. cloaked: When you've accomplished the mission, contact me through the underground network. Fireman: Will do. -back at the present time- CGV: At least I wasn't hit by a Tornado. *coughZephrioncough* Zephrion: Objection! MR: Hey! That's my line! CGV: What do you mean, "objection"? Zephrion: Dunno. I just hear MR say it all the time. MR: .... Zephrion: What's wrong with MR? CGV: I think he's having another orgy. MR: Come on guys. It's not an orgy if I'm the only one. *Coolguyvaters gets hit by a Tornado* Zephrion: My bad. I thought an orgy was where you practice magic. CGV: Damn it, Zephrion! *Zephrion runs away* -back at the lake- Fourth Fox: Fireman, you smoke? Fireman: I've quit smoking. It interferes with the job. This is an exception, though. Fourth Fox: Then why are you? Is it really that bad hanging with us? Fireman: Yes, but that's not why. *throws away the pipe* Fourth Fox: Uh...Okay. *Fourth Fox leaves* Fireman: So much time for one job...The things I do for a living... Episode 13 5 years ago a dragon killed all it saw. When finally approached by me, it attacked me and injured me badly. Afterwards I opened a circus and had a guy named Paul working there. I hated Paul, so I fired him. He found the dragon and asked it to kill me. This time I was prepared. I did the Caramelldansen dance to calm the dragon then decided he would be my pet, by force. Then I killed Paul. For fun. Then I closed down the service and opened up a mercenary business 4 years ago. I had some people working for me named Douche, Pikachu, and Q. They were all generic soldiers so I fired them. They then blew themselves up in my fort. So I closed the business and opened a business for killing anyone I saw. They put me up for execution but my dragon saved me. I closed down the business 3 years ago. Then I moved to the Serenes Forest a few months ago. In-between the killing business and Serenes Forest me and my dragon would do illegal thumb wrestling tournaments. So yeah, here I go (dawgs): -Serenes Forest- The Fourth Fox: Hey Dragon! Dragonblader1: What? The Fourth Fox: Why are you even here? Dragonblader1: The following is why, dawgette -In an unknown town- Generic dude 1: Did you here about that dragon killing everyone? Generic dude 2: Hellz yeah I did Generic dudette 1: Look a dragon! Generic dude 1337: GODDAMMIT WE'RE DEAD ???: FALCON PUNCH! Generic dude 1337: Holy crap! He attacked the dragon's weak point for massive damage! Dragon: RawR dawgs! Then the dragon breathed fire and killed everyone and somehow I was still alive because I'm, like, the over-powered main character or something, oh yeah, triple question mark was me. That's kinda important. -1 Year Later- -My circus- Paul: What did you want, sir? Dragonblader1: You suck and I hate you. You're fired. Paul: This is just proof that life's a bitch. Then Paul did some off-screen stuff that I somehow know what happened even though I wasn't there. -Mysterious Swamp- Paul: HEY DRAGON! I KNOW SOMEONE WHO ATTACKED YOUR WEAK POINT FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE, WANNA HELP ME KILL HIM? HE MADE ME MAD! Dragon: RawR dawg, RawR -My circus- Dragonblader1: And that is why debating about religion is pointless Paula: Hmm, makes sense. Why do people even debate such crap anyways? Dragonblader1: Humans are idiots. Paula: Indeed. Dragon: RAAAAAAAAAAWR! Then the dragon killed Paula. Dragonblader1: OH NO! There's only one way to defeat you though... I then set down a radio and then the Caramelldansen song began playing. I then started doing the Caramelldansen dance, thus soothing him. I then pulled out my axe and threatened to kill him if he didn't become my pet. He agreed. I then killed Paul. For fun. -1 Year Later- -At my Mercenary Fort- Douche: Yes Boss? Pikachu: yes boss? Q: Qes Qoss? Dragonblader1: You're generic soldiers. You're fired. They then blew themselves up. I lived and so did dragon but... Dragonblader1: OH NO! Totally hot mercenary girl is dead! I was gonna ask her out... she always said dawg, so in her honor I shall from now on say dawg over and over again, dawg. -1 Year Later- -About to get hung, and is hung over- Dragonblader1: U no dudawgs? It mite huv bin uh guud iDea 2 nawt jst stert pilling randof pe;le Dragon then saved me Dragon: RawR! ('Sup) Dragonblader1: Hiy, war dun al thoz pe;le go? -1 Year Later- -Gambling hut- Dragonblader1: I bet 999999999999999 gold coins with guy's crotches on them, what do you wager? Generic dude 1337: Nothing Dragonblader1: Sounds good Then we thumb wrestled, illegally. For money. I won. I got all the nothing he had. Poor sucker. -2 Years Later- -Serenes Forest- Dragonblader1: We'll live here now. -Right now- -Serenes Forest- Dragonblader1: And that was mah story dawg. The Fourth Fox: That was boring. No one read the above. Ever. Dragonblader1: Go to hell dawg. Episode 14 Zephrion: So… Why did you fire Paul again? Dragonblader: Because I hated him. Zephrion: …Why did you hate him? Dragonblader: Because I hated him. Zephrion: Uh…huh… Well, do you want to hear my story? It’s full of action, adventu— Dragonblader: No thanks. *Leaves* Zephrion: *Sees CGV* Hey, CGV! You got a minute? CGV: Sure, what do you want? *Walks over* Zephrion: Want to hear my story? It’s full of action, adventure, and overall epicness. CGV: Hmm… Well I do like me a good epic… Sure, go ahead. Zephrion: Cool! * White mist fills the room* THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO… -2 years ago- Our story begins at an old orphanage… Zephrion: Hmm… Is it just me, or does the grub today taste dirt? Generic Unit #32785: It always tastes like dirt… Zephrion: Ah, yes. How could I forget… -Cranky Lady appeared!- Cranky Lady: Dinner time’s over! Go to bed! Everyone: Aww… -In Zephrion’s Room- Zephrion: Hm? *Spots a letter and a present on bed* What’s this… *Opens letter and reads it* Letter: Dear Zephrion, this is the father you never knew you had until now. Sorry about ditching you in that old orphanage and everything… I was really drunk one night… And one thing led to another, and next thing you know, I was at the police station. Then they put you in the orphanage. I hope this present will make things up for you. Greetings from Hawaii, your Dad. Zephrion: Huh. Well that was odd. Present time! *Rips open wrapping to reveal a Tornado tome* Oooooh… -The next night- Cranky Lady: Dinner time’s over! Go to bed! Everyone: Aww… Zephrion: Make me. Everyone: Oooooooooh… Cranky Lady: Oh, I’ll make you alright! -The Cranky Lady hit Zephrion with her purse!- -Zephrion took 24 Damage!- Zephrion: Ouch! Take this! Random Backwards Japanese Gibberish That I Can Somehow Understand! *Tornado appears and sucks up the Cranky Lady* Everyone: Yay!!! *The Tornado then goes wild and destroys the entire orphanage* Everyone: …BOO!!! Zephrion: Oops… Blinky: I say we beat him up! Pinky: I say we hit him over the head with a baseball bat! Inky: I say we push him over and kick him! Clyde: I say we rip his limbs off, toss him in a pot of boiling water, and eat him! Everyone: … Clyde: …What? Random Guy: Hey! He’s gone! Random Guy2: What!? *Looks around, but Zephrion is nowhere to be found* That dastard thinks he can get away… After him!!! -Meanwhile, at the edge of a familiar forest…- Zephrion: Phew… Good thing I had the sense to get away while they were thinking about maiming me… What are they so worked up about anyway? I thought they hated that place! Then again, they have nowhere else to go… Oh well, not my problem anymore… Random Guy: I think he’s over here! Zephrion: Better lay low in this forest for a while… -Present Day- Zephrion: And I’ve been here ever since! Hiding away from those bloodthirsty kids for two whole years… CGV: That was the least epic story I’ve ever heard. *Leaves* Zephrion: ???: YES! I’ve finally found you! Zephrion: You spent two years looking for me in this forest? How the hell did you survive!? Clyde: I resorted to cannibalism. Zephrion: Eww… Clyde: Now I believe we have unfinished business… *Takes out fork and knife* Zephrion: o_o; AHHHHHH!!! *Runs away* Clyde: Hey! Get back here! *Chases* And Clyde was never seen again. Zephrion, however, returned in two days. When asked if he was hungry, he simply replied, “No thanks, I just ate.” Episode 15 -???- Ike: I fight for my friends! -In the Forest- Hikarusa: Zephrion stop that! I Fight for my friends is so damn stupid... Zephrion: Not like AURAAURAAURAAURA is any better... Hikarusa: Speaking of aura have you ever played .Hack? Zephrion: No Hikarusa: Go to hell Metal Rabbit: Stop fighting you 2, it's time for our T-T-T-T-T-TOPI-TOPIC OF THE WEEK! Hikarusa and Zephrion: K Metal Rabbit: Is Ike gay or straight? Bianchi: Straight, I doubt anyone could stop him from going Hikarusa: Girls have boobs. 'Nuff said. Metal Rabbit: What the hell was that!? Hikarusa: My Metal Rabbit impersonation, duh. although it IS true. -In the Playboy Mansion- Fireman: Here are those pictures you asked me to take Playboy guy: Thanks, here's 5 cents Fireman: That's all? Go to hell. *Fireman activated Lethality* CoolGuyVaters: Lethality Bitch. Fireman: What are YOU doing here? CoolGuyVaters: What are you doing here? Fireman: Read the special CoolGuyVaters: That's non-canon because Hikarusa dies at the end Fireman: No, he's like Haar. Haar's unkillable. CoolGuyVaters: Oh. Well, I was here because I wanted to umm... Fireman: Your sister works here now. She's in the newest issue as well. On the cover and every page. Fully nude. Photoshopped with you in them. With her. CoolGuyVaters: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHh! Fireman: Look. CoolGuyVaters: MY EYES ARE BURNING! Fireman: Want me to put you out of your misery? CoolGuyVaters: YES PLEASE. Fireman: 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 gold. -In the forest- Metal Rabbit: Where's that playboy I asked for? Fireman: Here. CoolGuyVaters: DON'T LOOK! Fireman: I lied. CoolGuyVaters: Oh. Metal Rabbit: Whoa, this is hawt. Fireman: Just so you know, those are men who look like girls. Metal Rabbit: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -Center of the Forest- Fourth Fox of Fire: Thanks. Fireman: You're welcome. Fourth Fox of Fire: Here's the 30,000 gold you wanted. Fireman: Nah, just seeing the look on Metal Rabbit and CoolGuyVaters' faces was good enough. Fourth Fox of Fire: Really? Fireman: Yes. 9,999,999 gold. Episode 16 Here's one featuring our jackass fearless leader, CGV! \\\\ (???) CGV: Micaiah! What are you doing here? We were just about to start the march. Micaiah: CGV! You can't leave your queen! CGV: You're right. I should stay here and hit that. Fox: Wake up idiot! CGV: Hey, what are you doing in my fantasy? I already killed you. Fox: It's morning! You gotta cook breakfast! (he wakes up) Fox: It's your turn to make breakfast. CGV: Don't I have an alarm clock? Fox: You DID. Metal Rabbit stole it and flung it into a river cuz he thought it was possessed. CGV: ugh... *he gets up* \\\\ (Kitchen) CGV: (It's like noone appreciates me at all. I mean, I'm their leader and they don't even show me respect.) *breaks eggs* Zephrion: Eggs again? You wanna give us high blood pressure? Kiryn: I bought some fruitloaf yesterday. I want that. Metal Rabbit: I have Post partum depression! :D Kiryn: You're not a woman. Metal Rabbit: ._. CGV: What the fuck is a fruitloaf? Zephrion: It's some bread that tastes like fruit and dreams. It's kind of a fad. Kiryn: It's not just a fad, it's a way of life ._. Fireman: Get your fruitloaf here! Metal Rabbit: I'll take 2! *buys* CGV: But I'm making breakfast!!! Kiryn: Oh well. *they leave* CGV: Fine! I'm not cooking anything then! Fox: The hell you aren't! It's your turn! CGV: But they're all having fruit cake! Fox: It's called fruiloaf. Get with the times. Make me some. CGV: But you can just get it from Fireman. Fox: I don't wanna. *cgv makes fruitloaf* Fox: *eats* It's burnt. Take it back. CGV: ... Fox: *leaves* CGV: I'm not fucking putting up with this anymore. *throws down apron, mits and funny cook hat* \\\\ (Outside) CGV: I can't believe them! Vincent: Your anger is giving me wrinkles. CGV: Pardon me Mr. Clean. Vincent: What's wrong with you? CGV: Noone is showing me respect. Vincent: Maybe you need to take a break and go do some things on your own. CGV: I guess you're right. Thanks big brother! *leaves* Vincent: Stop calling me that! \\\\ (Swim club) CGV: Haven't been swimming in a long time... *goes off diving board* Lifeguard: Hey there handsome. CGV: What's up bitty? Lifeguard: You look like you can swim. Mind helping me with the little ones over there? CGV: Sure. \\\\ Lifeguard: Okay, our friend Mr. Vaters is going to demonstrate how NOT to breath. CGV: ...is that all? Lifeguard: Yep. Remember though, you're not allowed to open your mouth or else you'll drown. CGV: Mkay. *holds breath* Lifeguard: Alright girls, now take deep breaths. *one of the girls touches CGV's crotch* CGV: Hey! Lifeguard: No talking, remember? CGV: But! Lifeguard: Shh!!! *The girl's rubbing him* CGV: o_o (Half hour later) Lifeguard: Alright, class is over! Go home! CGV: (That little girl jerked me off!!! o_o) So what are you doing later? Lifeguard: I'm going to dinner with my boyfriend, and afterward invite him back to my place. See ya! CGV: o_o *that little girl comes back and stares at him while eating a fruitloaf* CGV: \\\\ (Restaurant) CGV: Check plz. Waiter: Would you like some fruitloaf while you wait? CGV: No thanks. *sigh* ???: What's wrong stranger? CGV: Noone respects me anymore. Not my friends, nor random people at the pool. ???: That's tough. I'm kinda in the same situation. CGV: How's that? ???: I dance for old men who try to pinch my ass and stuff gold coins in my top. CGV: Ah, you're a dancer. CGV. *holds out hand* ???: Angel. *shakes* CGV: But you seem nice. Angel: And you don't come off like a jerk. I can't tell you how many of my former boyfriends were jerks. CGV: All of them? Angel: You're psychic[/sarcasm] CGV: Hey, be nice. I'll buy you a drink. *feels no wallet* Angel: I know that look. You don't have anything, do you? CGV: I forgot I was gonna skip paying tonite. Angel: I'm on in 5 minutes, but hows about you and I get the hell out of here? CGV: That sounds awesome. ! Get down, the waiters coming. *they hide* Waiter: ...not again... *goes back* \\\\ (outside, in the streets of sienne) CGV: It's starting to rain. Angel: So? CGV: You don't wanna get wet, do ya? Angel: Maybe I do, maybe I don't. CGV: You're a little wierd. I like that. *she laughs a bit* Angel: ...listen, i'm sorry but I gotta go. *she runs* CGV: ...she left her scarf. *he runs after her* \\\\ Big dude: Where's my money? Angel: I-I don't have it... Big dude: Big mistake! *he raises his fist* CGV: Hold it jackass! Angel: CGV? Stay back! CGV: I can take him. Big dude: I'm twice your size. CGV: I'm twice your skill! *draws blade and lunges* *the big guy sidesteps and pushes him down* CGV: Dammit! *the big guy cold-cocks him* CGV: uh... *blacks out* \\\\ CGV: (What's the use? Why should I even bother on with this life? Would it make a difference if I died here?) Probably not... Voice: You're a pussy. CGV: Huh? Who's there? Voice: You're better than this. You can't just take this lying down. CGV: Who're you to judge? You're just a voice. Voice: I'm a voice of someone telling you not to give up. CGV: Easy for you to say. Voice: You don't get it... do you realise how lost your friends would be without you? CGV: They might be better off. Voice: Nope. They depend on you to make the hard decisions. They do respect you. CGV: ... Voice: Besides, if you give up now then you can't save angel and get laid. CGV: ._. Voice: Wake up... CGV. \\\\ (alley, its still raining) Big dude: You're just not a money maker Angel. Sorry. Angel: Plz don't kill me... Big dude: It's out of my hands. *blade flashes and his head falls off* Angel: ! CGV: That's no way to get ahead in life. Angel: You stole that from Austin Powers. CGV: ._. Angel: Anyway... I'm sorry I got you into this. CGV: It's no problem bitty. Angel: I can't stay in Begnion. I'm not safe here... CGV: You can come back with me to the forest. Angel: ...I can't. But I still wanna thank you. CGV: It's my job to protect people who need it. Angel: ...I know what you want. *she gets on her knees and unzips his pants* CGV: O_O \\\\ (Outside the mercenary base, next morning) (The team is fighting off an army of Hika clones) Fox: You gotta aim for the horn! Hika: lolz, i have no horn. *fox kicks him in the crotch* Fox: Now you don't! Kiryn: There's too many of them! Zephrion: *pant* We cant tell which one is the real one. Hika: Ha ha! Metal Rabbit: I see him! *fires* Zephrion: OWW! WTF is wrong with you?! Metal Rabbit: It was Kiryn ._. Kiryn: Don't you pin that on me! Fox: Shutup all of you! I'm trying to think! Hika: Ha! *raises tomahawk* GRKK!! *there's a blade sticking through him* *all the clones disappear* Hika: Dammit... *collapses* Fox: What? CGV: ...all of you inside NAO! *everyone does it* Fox: Hey, I'm sorry I went off on you yesterday. CGV: It's okay. Fox: I found you're alarm clock. CGV: Thnx. What's for breakfast? Fox: Fruitloaf *leaves* CGV: ... \\\\ end. side note: Metal Rabbit wasn't imagining things, that clock is possessed. We'll go more into that in another episode though. Episode 17 At the base... Coolguyvaters: ok guys, were gonna be facing our toughest enemy yet. He's so tough, no one even knows his name Fourth Fox: oooooh, sounds like a challenge Zephrion: Sweet, what's his class? Coolguyvaters: he's a sentinal, a very strong sentinal Hikarusa: Well well, my axe vs. his lance? This should be interesting... Coolguyvaters: don't get too cocky Hikarusa, we don't know exactly what we're up against. The weapon triangle might not be enough Metal Rabbit: what's a triangle? Fourth Fox: true, this guy seems pretty mysterious to me Fireman: *out of nowhere, as usual* more mysterious than me? Everyone: AAAH! Coolguyvaters: dammit fireman! stop doing that! and yes, he IS more mysterious than you Fireman: hmmm, looks like I've got competition Zephrion: that's a pretty quiet competition... Hikarusa: cmon, enough talk! Let's kill this bastard! Fourth Fox: hold on there Hika, we should plan this out some. We can't just rush in there and kill him Hikarusa: grrrrr.... Metal Rabbit: How come Coolguyvaters hasn't been by a tornado yet? Coolguyvaters: oh yeah that's- aaaahhhhhh! Zephrion: there we go! Kiryn: hahahaha! Fireman: whoa Kiryn, even you surprised me. How long have you been there? Kiryn: I've been here the whole time.... Fireman: oh... Coolguyvaters: Zephrion, how should approach this Zephrion: well the enemy has thought this one out. And since this sentinal is more mysterious than fireman, he can't lethalitize him Fireman: I'll find a way... *runs off* Fourth Fox: Let's try and focus here, the enemy has an army surrounding the throne, with general, paladins, wyvern knight for they sky, ballistas and a leader more mysterious than fireman. We should- Hikarusa: take out the ballistas and i'll barge right through the army and kill the sentinal! Let's do it! Coolguyvaters: No, hikarusa! we wont be able to do it, the army is too strong! you're tactic wont work Hikarusa: grrr.... them and their "strategies".... Kiryn: If you guys can take out the ballistas, I can clear the skies. (talking to Hika) You can take out the generals cuz they're slow. (talking to Coolguyvaters) When he's done, you'll have your chance to get in there Metal Rabbit: Thats what SHE said! Kiryn: *smacks MR* Ilyana: Hey! I thought it was funny! Kiryn: *smacks Ilyana* Fourth Fox: ok, if were all done with the sex jokes, let's move out! Coolguyvaters: did you just say "if were all done with the sex jokes"? Fourth Fox: yeah, why? Zephrion: We'll be stuck here for eternity if we only move out when the sex jokes stop happening Hikarusa: Damn right we would be Coolguyvaters: Hika, you're the one who loves hearing those jokes Hikarusa: I know... Kiryn: Let's go everyone! Everyone: Charge!!!! *Back at the base* Metal Rabbit: oh my head *looks around*. Oh, they left without us! Ilyana: ugh... huh, they did? Metal Rabbit: looks like it's just you and me... alone... Ilyana: Metal Rabbit... why are you looking at me like that? Metal Rabbit: cmon, no ones around... Fireman: (to himself) almost forgot my weapons. Ok, I'm ready to-.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! *gets the hell out of there* Ilyana: was that Fireman? Metal Rabbit: i think so Ilyana: why was he freaking out so much? We were just hugging, weren't we? Metal Rabbit: hugging... yeah... of course we were >_> Ilyana: well then why was he so... Metal Rabbit! are those MY undies!!! Metal Rabbit: ....uhhhhhh, no? Ilyana: *smacks MR and knocks him unconscious* *on the battlefield* Coolguyvaters: well these enemies aren't too had to beat *slice* this is easier than I thought *slice slice* Fourth Fox: I dunno, something doesn't feel right... *Elfires a ballista* Zephrion: what do ya mean *tornadoes a general* Fourth Fox: this guy is very mysterious. Why would he makes it easy for us to appraoch him? Coolguyvaters: good point, but hell, I'm too busy busting heads *slice*. But there sure are a lot more heads to bust than i thought *in the sky* Kiryn: ok Hika, the skys are clear! Let's go! Hikarusa: hmmm.... something's not right, you go on ahead Kiryn: huh? aren't you the one who wanted to kill back at the base? Hikarusa: no, I wanted to kill the sentinal, but something doesn't seem right. There's so may enemies, but they're so weak, yet he's so powerful. I don't get it... Kiryn: whatever, I need the practice anyway. see ya! *leaves* Hikarusa: what could it be... wait a minute... oh my god! THAT'S IT! KIRYN, WAIT! *on the ground* Coolguyvaters: This kicks ass! we should have no problem killing the sentinal now! Zephrion: yeah we're golden! you still worried now, Fox? Fourth Fox: yeah, something still doesn't seem right... i'll check if anyone is hurt *holds up physic staff and it glows* Coolguyvaters: why is glowing? no one is hurt... Kiryn: COOLGUYVATERS!!!! It's fireman!!!! Coolguyvaters: Fireman? where is he? *looks at the boss and the boss is holding fireman with his own peshkatz to his neck* noooo! Sentinal: Stop right there! one more move and I'll kill your "fireman" Zephrion: shit! Fourth Fox: I KNEW something was wrong! DAMMIT! Kiryn: coolguyvaters, what do we do? Coolguyvaters: i dont know... someone needs to charge him. Zephrion, Fourth Fox, use your magic to wound him Zephrion: i cant, i'm too tired from all those enemies... Fourth Fox: me too... damn it! that's it! he used so many pawns.... so we would use all our strength on them.... and couldn't fight him as well as we expected! Sentinal: haha! that's right. Now that you know, I guess I should kill this fireman cuz it looks like you don't need him anymore Everyone: NOOOO!!!! Sentinal: see ya firem- *gets criticaled by a tomohawk and dies* ugh.... Fireman: oh my god, i've never been so scared in my life... Coolguyvaters: FIREMAN! you're ok?.... what happened? Hikarusa: told you that you guys would kill the army and I'd barge through and kill the sentinal Everyone: Hikarusa!!!! Zephrion: no way! how did you.... have the strength to do that.... Hikarusa: I knew what he was planning, so I saved my strength and waited till I had a good shot and took him out Coolguyvaters: well i'll admit... that was pretty clever of you... Hikarusa: why thank you, now let's all go back to the base... Fourth Fox: I'm all for that *back at the base* Zephrion: that was a close one... Ilyana, why are your panties in MR's mouth? Ilyana: huh? oh whoops, i forgot he had them. *looks around* hey, NOTHING happened, alright! Coolguyvaters: *softly* yeah like I believe that.... Hikarusa: before he wakes up though... *MR wakes up* Metal Rabbit: oh man... what the- Hikarusa: nice panties MR! HAHA! Metal Rabbit: huh? *looks down* you put Ilyana's panties on me?! where are my clothes? Hikarusa: In forest, where I burned it down... Episode 18 The new guys... Coolguyvaters: ok everyone, welcome to SF! I am your leader, coolguyvaters. While the others are on a top secret mission (that will probably be revealed in a soon-to-come episode) I'll just introduce myself to you and get to know you a bit. *looks at raven* Raven? what are you doing here? aren't you in the sitcom? Raven: I don't think so... Coolguyvaters: Oh.... uh, well I thought you were. Well at least i know what class you are. *looks at next person* So what's your name? Black Knight: Black Kight, sir! Coolguyvaters: (This guy sounds familiar for some reason...) uh, black knight, huh? alright, welcome to SF! what's your class Black Knight: take a wild geuss... Coolguyvaters: hmmm... good point. Ok, wat's your name? Nightmare: *in a very LOW voice* It's nightmare... because I like nightmares... Coolguyvaters: ok... well, welcome to SF! just remember that first impressions are always good to keep in mind Nightmare: nightmares are in the mind... Coolguyvaters: uh huh.... anyway... (weird)... what's your name? Feaw: I'm feaw! how's it going? Coolguyvaters: well, good, thanks for asking. And what class might you be? Feaw: Well, since I'm a fna of Kieran, I'm an Axe Paladin Coolguyvaters: Sweet, another mounted unit, we could use more of those. Alrght, welcome to SF. And who might you be? Creeping Shadow: I'm creeping shadow! I'm a Dark Sage! Coolguyvaters: alright! someone with dark magic! very nice. Are you uh, *quietly* weird like that other guy? Creeping Shadow: no... Coolguyvaters: ok good, one fireman is enough. Izuka? haven't you been here a while? Izuka: yes, but i took a much needed break, but i'm back for time being Coolguyvaters: that's good to know. Well, you all seem like a good addition to the team. When the rest of the team gets back, you'll get to know them too! Now... I must go to my room, please do not disturb me. If you have any questions, ask Raven because he has been here a while. *goes to room* What the... where are my magazines? Metal Rabbit: very nice... wow I like that... oooooh, gotta have THAT Coolguyvaters: Metal Rabbit!!!! what the hell are you doing with my magazines!!! Metal Rabbit: these aren't yours. This is a list of cool weapons you can have forged. What magazines are you looking for? Coolguyvaters: uhhh, they're very... private. They contain information on the new guys... Metal Rabbit: oh, no I haven't seen them Coolguyvaters: damn, ok let me know if you find them *leaves* Metal Rabbit: i'll let you know! *takes out the REAL magazines* Sweet.......... Episode 19 Alright, I'm following up on a really stupid plotline that stuck in my head today. Consider it a side-story or something. It's very stupid and not worth reading. Enjoy anyway though. Vincent: Ah... Finally some peace and quiet. Distracting those morons was a cinch... -1 hour earlier- Vincent: Hey guys... Coolguyvaters: Hey Vincent! How are you! Vincent: *Twitch* Fine... Hey, listen. I heard there was a Mudkip stuck in a tree on the other side-- Coolguyvaters: A MUDKIP!? STUCK IN A TREE!? WE MUST HELP IT!!! Everyone! Pack your bags, we're gonna save a small defenseless creature! Everyone: OH NOES! *Everyone runs off to find the Mudkip.* Vincent: Well... That was easy. I should do this more often. -Present Time- Vincent: Ah... This is the life... *Sips lemonade* ???: Who's there? Vincent: You gotta be... Dammit guys, don't you have a Mudkip to save!? ???: What in blazes is a Mudkip? Vincent: My god, that's the most intelligent thing I've heard anyone say in this forest. Who are you? Come on out. A mysterious, yet familiar figure emerges from the bushes. Reyson: My name is Reyson, prince of the Serenes Forest. Might I ask what you are doing here... Vincent: ...Oh, crap. Meanwhile, in the depths of the forest. Hikarusa: It's no use... Kiryn and I have been searching the sky for days and we've seen no Mudkip! Zephrion: But... We've only been out here for an hour. Metal Rabbit: Well keep searching man, we cannot abandon a Mudkip in need! Fox: How did a Mudkip find it's way into the forest anyway? Coolguyvaters: Dunno, but Vincent would never lie to us, right? Kiryn: ... Hikarusa: ... Zephrion: ... Metal Rabbit: ... Fox: ... Fireman: ... Kiryn: Woah, Fireman! Where did you come from!? Fireman: Nowhere. I found your Mudkip by the way. *Tosses Metal Rabbit a Pokemon* Metal Rabbit: This isn't a Mudkip, it's a Shiny Darkrai. Fireman: My mistake. These "Pokemon" all look the same to me. *Lethalities* Metal Rabbit: ._. Hikarusa: Wow. And here I though Vincent was just being a jackass and sending us off on a wild goose chase to get rid of us for a few hours... Fireman: He was. I got this...thing from the zoo in Begnion. Do you know they charge 1000 Gold for admission? It's extortion, even by my standards! Coolguyvaters: That dastard! He shall know the true meaning of pain! Nobody pretends that a Mudkip is in danger... Kiryn: Careful now... This is Vincent we're talking about! Who knows what kind of crazy divine powers he has! Vincent suddenly runs past, screaming at the top of his lungs. Vincent: Help! A crazed Heron's trying to kill me!!! Zephrion: ...Is that one of them? Fox: The Heron Screech of Death? Everyone: Wow... Reyson shows up from the bushes. Reyson: What!? There are more of you!? Out of my forest! You think I will just stand by and let you heretics ravage Serenes!? Hikarusa: ...Yes? Reyson: No. Now leave this place, else I must resort to violence. Coolguyvaters: ...Bwahahahaahaha!!! Oh, that's hilarious! I'll humor you though, come on. One free hit, for the hell of it! Reyson: If that is what you wish... *Equips Urvan* Coolguyvaters: ...What the fu-- Reyson: -Sol- -Luna- -Astra- Coolguyvaters: Okay, seriously, what the crap is with that!? *Dies* Reyson: Well, this is going to leave a mess... I'm never going to get these Kool-Aid stains off the carpet. Zephrion: ...Can someone kindly explain to me what the hell just happened? Fox: Coolguyvaters got axed in the head by a Heron with a legendary weapon and skills that a Heron couldn't possibly learn. Zephrion: Ah. That's what I thought had happened, until I realized that it doesn't make ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER!!! Kiryn: Calm down... I'm sure we'll revive him...somehow. Reyson: Does anyone have any Mr. Clean? Metal Rabbit: Wait, can't Fireman just Lethality this guy and be done with it? Fireman: Can't. He has Nihil. Fox: How do you know? Reyson: How about some paper towels. Fireman: Anyone with badass skills like those HAS to have Nihil. Hikarusa: Aha! While you were talking, I somehow stole Urvan! Zephrion: You don't have the Steal skill... Hikarusa: I stole it from Fireman. Zephrion: ...And that makes perfect sense. Reyson: Great, now it's molded into the carpet. Thanks a lot, jackasses. Hikarusa; As I was saying... With the power of this holy weapon, nothing shall stand in my way! Not even you, Metal Rabbit!!! Metal Rabbit: I like pie... Hikarusa: Muahahahahahahahahaha!!! Kiryn: Hey Hikarusa. Hate to interrupt your whole, taking over the world speech, but there's a sword sticking out of your chest. Hikarusa: So there is... *Dies* Zephrion: What a dick. Reyson: Wow, I thought he'd never shut up. *Retrieves sword.* Fox: Is that...Ragnell? Reyson: Why yes. I have Alondite as well. Would you like to see? Zephrion: This...makes...absolutely...no...sense... Ghk! *Dies.* Metal Rabbit: Holy crap! He just killed Zephrion with his MIND! Fireman: Uh... I'll be going now... *Disappears* Fox: Well, we're royally screwed. Kiryn: Does anyone have the hacking device he's using? >_> Meanwhile. on some ethereal plain. Coolguyvaters: Well... This sucks. Zephrion: I blame the writers. Hikarusa: I was so close too! Zephrion: Oh, shut up Hikarusa. Always trying to betray us... You used to be cool! Coolguyvaters: It must be the drugs... Hikarusa: Quiet down, I'm plotting! Zephrion: ...So... Wanna go peek in the Girl's Locker Room at the university? Coolguyvaters: Thought you'd never ask. TO BE CONTINUED. Episode 20 -while tv surfing- Coolguyvaters: What's on? Zephrion: Dunno. This is Fox Network! Your home for entertainment. Fourth Fox: Hey, they named a channel after me! Kiryn: Let's see what's on the news. -on tv news reoprt- *Metal Rabbit's principal is seen in a low-speed car chase* Reporter in helicopter: Today, we have some breaking news. Metal Rabbit's principal is in a car chase. He's driving a golf cart at an incredible speed of 15 miles per hour! He's being pursued by 15 police cars going at 50 miles per hour and by 5 helicopters going at 60 miles per hour! Who knows when we may catch him!? -on the highway- MR's principal: You'll never catch me! Hey! Where'd everyone go? *all the police cars are ahead of MR's principal* cop1: Whoops! Went a little too fast. *the 15 police cars slowly back up next to the principal in his golf cart* MR's principal: You'll never take me alive!!! cop1: Who said anything about alive? *cop2 readies a grenade* *MR's principal uses Metal Rabbit as a shield* principal: Step back or the deformed rabbit gets whacked! *MR's principal takes out a shiny mini-golf trophy* Metal Rabbit: I like eggs. *MR waves* cop3: Careful! We must protect that trophy at all costs! cops: Agreed. *Fireman jumps out of nowhere, knocking the principal and MR off the highway* cop4: Holy shit!!! Is the trophy okay?! Fireman: Got it right here. *Fireman hands them the shiny trophy* cop5: Good job, Fireman. On the behalf of the police force, I thank you. Fireman: Ahem. cop5: And your money is in the bank, under the account name, Obama. Fireman: That's all I wanted to hear. *at Metal Rabbit's funeral the next day* Coolguyvaters: Although, we never bothered to recover MR's body, we shall assume that he died a heroic death. Kiryn: Which he didn't, according to the 5:00 news. Fourth Fox: We knew him well... Fireman: He was an odd man. He accomplished near nothing in life. And he died much, much later than we had intended him to. Coolugyvaters: I never did return those magazines... Hikarusa: I wanted to be the one to kill him... Zephrion: I could've sworn a fortune teller said he'd be killed by a tornado. *Metal Rabbit shows up with many cuts* Zephrion: Hey, MR! We were just talking about you... Coolguyvaters: How did you survive? Metal Rabbit: They don't call me Metal Rabbit for nothing. Hikarusa: I thought they called you that because you were always hard "downstairs". Metal Rabbit: True that.... Kiryn: So where were you all last night? Metal Rabbit: I got a blow-job from some adoring fans. Coolguyvaters: Oooohhh....How was it? Metal Rabbit: Painful. They were set to high so the blades cut me everytime I got close and then I got blown away. Coolguyvaters: Oh... That explained the lack of air conditioning in the base last night... Episode 21 Part 2 of the epic saga that has more plotholes than a Micheal Bay movie. Hikarusa: Well, that was fulfilling. Zephrion: Yeah, until CGV tripped and swung the door open. Coolguyvaters: Would you guys shut up about that already!? It was an accident! How was I supposed to know that you can open doors as a ghost? Hikarusa: Dude, didn’t you read the Ghost’s Handbook? We all got one… Coolguyvaters: If by “read,” you mean “tossed into the Lake of Oblivion,” then yes. I read it. Zephrion: I wonder if we get Death Notes at some point… Coolguyvaters: Shinigami’s get Death Notes, not ghosts. Hikarusa: Duh. Zephrion: Well, a guy can dream, can’t he? Hikarusa: Actually, I’m pretty sure ghosts can’t have dreams. Zephrion: …Quiet you. -The “Real” World- Announcer: This game’s winner is…Reyson! Reyson: Ha! Perhaps I misjudged you people… This “Brawl” game is quite alright. Metal Rabbit: Someone please kill me. Reyson: I can arrange that. Metal Rabbit: ._. Just kidding. Fox: You know, this game isn’t as much fun hasn’t been as much fun since Reyson hacked himself into the game… Kiryn: Or when he hacked all the items into “Reyson Automatically Wins” items. Metal Rabbit: Where did he learn all this anyway!? Reyson: Oregon State University. Metal Rabbit: Hehe… Oregon. Fox: What a loser... Fireman: *Materializes* Hey, can I speak to you guys for a minute…? Alone. Reyson: Hurry back. I wouldn’t want to have to kill anyone for not playing Brawl with me… Everyone: ._. -In the bushes- Fireman: Okay, I have good news, and bad news. Fox: What’s the good news? Fireman: I managed to find some help to solve our haxxor heron problem… Metal Rabbit: Ha, you asking someone else for help!? Ahahahahaha— Fireman: *Holds knife to Metal Rabbit’s neck* Don’t toy with me, child. Metal Rabbit: ...Child? Kiryn: Wait, what kind of help did you get? Fireman: …That’s the bad news. -Castle Bianchi- Bianchi: So… A fireman called and asked us to help him, did he? Does it involve kittens? Hanz: …No, your majesty. Bianchi: Then why should Bianchi accept his request? Hanz: Because there’s a crazed heron on the loose, and eventually he’ll target you, your majesty. Bianchi: Why should Bianchi fear the lowly herons!? Hanz: Because this particular heron “eats ponies and kittens.” Bianchi: Well what are you waiting for, minion. Send in the army, the navy, the coast guard! Hanz: *Grumble grumble* Yes, your majesty! -Serenes Forest- Fireman: So...yeah. Bianchi’s army will be here by tomorrow. Fox: You asked Bianchi for help!? Fireman: Well… I more or less asked Hanz. Bianchi has…a few screws loose, and he has enough honor to help the needy. Kiryn: Hanz hardly comes off as “honorable.” Fireman: Trust me. We knew each other in college. Metal Rabbit: You did? Fireman: No. But I’m sure if we did, we’d have been best friends. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do Fireman things. *Disappears* Kiryn: Why do I get the feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong… Reyson: I don’t hear any Brawling… If you’re not over here by the time I count to 5, someone’s going to have an axe in their face. Metal Rabbit: ._. But I like my face… Kiryn: *Sigh* Come on... Lets go... Fox: This plan of Fireman's had better work... -Ghost World- Zephrion: If we’re gonna be ghosts, we’re gonna need someplace to live. So I used Google Maps to help us find an abandoned warehouse in the vicinity. Which coincidentally, is extremely hard when your fingers sink through the keyboard. Hikarusa: Sweet. Let me see… Ooo, how about this one? Coolguyvaters: Let us embark on an adventure of mind-bendingly epic proportions!!! Hikarusa: Dude, it’s only two blocks away. Coolguyvaters: …Oh. -Abandoned Warehouse- Zephrion: Oh, wow. It’s even better when you see it in person. Coolguyvaters: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. This place is awesome! Hikarusa: And only 10,000 Gold too! Zephrion: Well then it’s settled! We’ll take it! Tom Nook: Great doing business with you! Can I interest you in an extra floor? It will only cost 150,000 Bells. Coolguyvaters: Err… No thank you. Tom Nook: How about a basement? Only 50,000 Bells. Hikarusa: We’re good, thanks. Tom Nook: Well how about-- Zephrion: OUT OF OUR WAREHOUSE! Tom Nook: ._. Okay. Zephrion: Augh, that guy is so annoying! Coolguyvaters: Oh well, at least we have a place to stay now. Hey, in the morning, you wanna go find another college locker room to spy on? Hikarusa: ...Do you guys hear music…? Zephrion: Sure. Not like we have anything better to do. Hikarusa: Seriously, it’s creeping me out. You guys don’t hear it? Coolguyvaters: Hehe… Sweet. Hikarusa: Somebody say something!! Zephrion: *Sigh* What!? Hikarusa: Do you not hear the music!? It almost sounds like… Oh no… EVERYBODY HIDE! Coolguyvaters: What!? What’s going on!!! Hikarusa: It’s…it’s… THE GHOSTBUSTER’S THEME SONG!!! Zephrion: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! RUN AWAY!!! -The Next Day, Outside Serenes Forest- The entire Bianchi army is at a halt outside the forest, waiting for the order to charge. Just then, Reyson appears from the forest. Reyson: Leave this place at once, else I shall have to resort to violence! Bianchi: Hanz! Show that kitten munching heron guy the power of Bianchi’s Army! Hanz: All units! CHARGE!!! -5 ½ Minutes Later- Bianchi: Bianchi demands to know how we got thrown in jail! Hanz: I believe the tide of battle may have shifted when all of our weapons turned to sticks. The fact that the heron has legendary weapons and mastery skills didn’t help much either. Bianchi: But... Bianchi wants out!!! Hanz: *Sigh* Somebody kill me… -Serenes Forest, Later That Night- Kiryn: I can honestly say that I expected this to happen. Fox: Well, it looks like we’re royally screwed…again. As much as I hate to admit it, Bianchi's army was one of our only hopes. Metal Rabbit: You know... If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Fireman planned this so he could get rid of Bianchi and Hanz. Fireman: Well, well. You’re not as stupid as you look. And you look kind of stupid to begin with... Metal Rabbit: ._. Kiryn: Wait… You mean getting the entire army killed and having those two jailed was all part of your plan? Fireman: Yup. Fox: Clever… Fireman: I know I am. Now, for my REAL plan… TO BE CONTINUED THE END OF SEASON 2!!!! (Why is it bootlegged? Because if you look closely at the screen you'll see me mooning you.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Um...did you write episode 18 yourself? If so, which other episodes did you write yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 I didn't write any of these episodes. It was all the other people. I should probably write them down for copyright reasons so I don't get sued again: Writers: Fourth Fox of Fire Fireman Hikarusa Metal Rabbit (Aka Arc) Coolguyvaters Zephiron (I'm not entirely sure about this one but I'll put her anyway) Kiryn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Hmm...then I was in the sitcom before I requested...? ..................Cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florete Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 The hell? Didn't I close this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 The hell? Didn't I close this? Don't look at me! I didn't do it. Well I did. But I only created the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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