California Mountain Snake Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 (edited) Come share your jokes. Anything goes, but I take no responsibility for any punishment you receive for content a person of authority is loathe too. Also, I reserve the right to criticise your infantile humor if your joke happens TO SUCK BALLS. Be warned, be cognizant, and post wisely. I'll start light: How do crazy people get through the woods? On the psyco-path. Who is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walkin. How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowthrower? Give her a shovel. Edited July 3, 2009 by California Mountain Snake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I was watching my cat hitting a cord hanging from the blinds for about ten minutes or so, and I started thinking "What an idiot, so easily amused". And then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 (edited) How do crazy people get through the woods? On the psych-path. I believe that's "on the psychopath." In other news, What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice. Edited July 3, 2009 by Urist McButcherdwarf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I've lost my warnings for sexism, so time to get them back. A woman gets into a car crash with a man on the highway, who's fault is it? Her husband's, for letting her out of the kitchen What does it mean if your wife is in the living room? The chain is too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 What's a phrase that has an answer and makes people laugh? A joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
California Mountain Snake Posted July 3, 2009 Author Share Posted July 3, 2009 I'll let that go. Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. Dead baby jokes: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trashcan? 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans What's the difference between unloading a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? You can't use a pitch fork on the bowling balls. What's pink and bubbly and taps on the glass? Baby in the microwave. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how you throw them. How do you get a dead baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteor Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Where do you send Jews with ADD? Concentration camps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 (edited) What's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them. What's the best thing about fucking seven year olds? You can hear their pelvises snap. Edited July 4, 2009 by ZXValaRevan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 What's harder than a rock and has veins? Not this joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kommissar Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 That reminds me, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Much like other people my age, I'm 20 years old . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 That reminds me, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fei Mao Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 (edited) Whats common between a black person and a soda machine? They both steal money and don't work. "A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink here? the bartender responds and says for you no charge." (yeah it was from fallout 3 but i thought most people wouldn't have seen it or played it) Edited July 4, 2009 by Jason W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynthia Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Here's a pickup line that a friend told me: "The word of the day is legs so how about we go back to your place and spread the word? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Rei Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Why did Mario cross the road? Because he couldn't find a warp zone What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door? Triforce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashGordon94 Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Did you heard about the Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac? He lied awake all night wondering if there is a Dog. What about the Dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
book of life Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 A friend told me this one so many times I've never forgotten it. I wish I did though. What do you call Batman and Robin after a steamroller runs over them? Flatman and Ribbon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolDeath Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Why is February the shortest month? Because it's black history month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emeraldfox Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because some idiot told horrible jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
California Mountain Snake Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Serenes Forest. Best one I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikethfc Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, "Excuse my French" just after a swear word. I'll never forget the first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French. Out of interest anybody else getting these from sickipedia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, "Excuse my French" just after a swear word.I'll never forget the first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French. Out of interest anybody else getting these from sickipedia? One or two (maybe all of them), they're pretty awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uguu Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Serenes Forest. Best one I know. What about Religion ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defeatist Elitist Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 What about Religion ? In that vein: What's stickier than a cinnamon bun? An Altar boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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