Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Oh. I guess i can work on it a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Yeah, once you and Lightning start adding more content, that'll be the end of that complaint, though Lightning does tend to put some minimal descriptions in. He only does it when he seems to feel that it's necessary though. Meh. It'll work out I'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Csquared08 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) @ Csquared: You contradict yourself. "Reading quickly seems to come naturally"? And my posts make this worst? What are my posts, like two lines each? Otherphase was correct. It was more the monotony of your posts than the length. Simple sentences (subject, verb, predicate, not much else) are great once in a while, but an entire post full of them is not fun to read. For example, from your opening post: Helios heard a growl. It was coming from the forest. A pack of wolves came. One of the seemes to be injured. He raised his hand to touch the wolf's paw. He chanted a spell. The injury was healed. The wolf seemed gratefull. They ran off. Helios stared walking down the path. He saw a town not far from here. He kept walking untill he arrived at the town. Helios went to the nearest inn. Then, an excerpt from Dick and Jane, a series of books meant to help people (specifically, children) learn how to read. "See that car," said Jane."The family is here at last. See the two boys get out. But there are no girls. There is no dog. Our two new friends are boys." See a similarity in sentence structure? Short, simple, to the point. The information is clear and understood, but bland and boring in its presentation. Given that this is an RP, I'd say the goal is to have fun. Thus, bland and boring would be unwanted, yes? All it takes to make things less bland and more interesting is using some of those things you learned in school. Introductory clauses, semicolons, prepositional phrases, etc. There is a reason those things are taught; no one likes a story full of simple sentences. Note: I'm not trying to be offensive and would very much prefer to avoid a flame war. As this is the feedback section, it makes sense to comment on general posting quality here, no? Edited June 29, 2010 by Csquared08 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanami Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Note: I'm not trying to be offensive and would very much prefer to avoid a flame war. As this is the feedback section, it makes sense to comment on general posting quality here, no? Don't worry, the Code of Conduct in regards to LoAF dictates that we must hate on Kai and joke about his virginity every time an opportunity arises. So even if you're point wasn't valid (it is) no one would argue against that. :P I'm not sure if this is Kai's first RP, but his posts were horrible at the beginning, they've gotten better over the course of the RP. And his character has become less Gary Stu-ish. (You'd know Helios was a healer that randomly teleported around the RP doing pointless stuff if you're reading Ch1). Though the down side to him posting normally is that his posts get a lot shorter, not necessarily a bad thing, since most of us ignore his presence anyway XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) -_- Yeah first RP. But my posts are going to get a lot more interesting since im going to add offensive commentary to them. It is me narrating it so why not? And dont read any of my posts in the RP until chapter 3. -_- Edited June 29, 2010 by Kai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 S'cool, guy. Everyone has to start somewhere.The more you do, the better you get, applies to writing, not just sex. Not sure if that was a bad analogy or a shot at Kai for being a virgin. Take it as you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) I never understood how sex became a factor in a RP And it wasnt mine, it was my RP characters they make fun of Its contagious Edited June 29, 2010 by Kai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 For the billionth time that's not about your character, it's about the way you react when we taunt you about it. Yes, we're jerks, but... it's such an easy shot to take... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Actually, I'll agree, Kai. Having everyone pair off and bone in an RP is kind of a weird thing. I mean, unless you signed up for an orgy RP or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Actually, I'll agree, Kai. Having everyone pair off and bone in an RP is kind of a weird thing. I mean, unless you signed up for an orgy RP or something. You are awesome, sir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Indeed I am, now all that's left is to convince the rest of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) I think he was (at first anyway) more of talking about the "lol helios is a virgin" comments he tends to get, because people do that a lot and he gets hilariously angry. Meanwhile most of the characters are unpaired and it's just a couple of offenders that... yeah. Get weird at times. (Cough cough we know who I'm talking about.) Edited June 29, 2010 by The Clockwork Alchemist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 No, i dont mind those because i can retaliate Its Ether Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cynthia- Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 The thing is you also don't need to go "tee hee they're almost having teh sex!" every time it occurs. Personally I disapprove of the "speed" of some of the relationships in this RP, but I feel I've been pretty clear about that already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Snowy famously has his chars be extremely popular and sexually active, but I'll admit I've been skimming at best, he could have grown as a person since back in the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanami Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I mean, unless you signed up for an orgy RP or something. Please, don't say that >_< Cause I'm already having a hard enough time not thinking so, without other people noting it.....Moreso Snowy, the RP head is the cause of my headaches in this department Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 So i am not the only that is bothered by this Nice to know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cynthia- Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Actually it's the "I love yous" and some characters' excessive clinginess that bothers me more. A lot of people end up being physically attracted each other and have sex fairly shortly after meeting, but actual emotional bonding of that magnitude takes a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 ^That's part of it too. There does seem to occasionally be an unnecessary level of detail at times, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roymbrog Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Sounds like CAFE... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 No. It sounds like the bastardization of CAFE that came after Prodigea stopped running it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riariadne Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 ... I wonder why we even have a feedback topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_e_s Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I'd hope so people can provide their thoughts on the RP and they can be addressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CATS Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 So that the pointless arguments can be made in here and not clutter up the chat topic, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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