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Shu's Quest Feedback


mr_e_s
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Actually, I picked the tavern setting specifically because it was cliché, I took your averageRP beginnning, and meant to turn it on it's head and deliver the unexpected by way of Shu's death.

Fuck, I'm drunk.

I thought the beginning was pretty interesting, and the way you narrated it was very amusing. Shu dying is totally cool with me, as long as he has some connection to the rest of the story, which I assume he does.

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We've all assumed that so far, hopefully not in vain.

Not that I'd particularly mind, Shu already dropped what was important when he died, that's more than enough plot significance.

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because if you mention something and it's not directly tied to the main story then you don't know what you're doing, you suck, and you're a bad writer

bringing stuff in just for flavor or for its own sake is not acceptable

obviously

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Final post of the RP

Stark finally defeated Shotaro. It was over. He was dead. Things could finally get back to normal. Stark, Niles, Yuki, Laterite, Lucifer, and Fargo threw a small celebration party for themselves at the newly reconstructed Oakheim pub. it was a smally affair, as no one but them had known what they had accomplished this day, how closde the world had come to... Stark didn't even want to think about ti any more. He just wanted to get back to Lily and try his hand at a quiet life. Not like a blind man can really have much of a future as a mercenary anyways.

Fargo and Yuki were already making out in the corner. Niles and Laterite were arguing philosophy in the corner while Lucifer argued with himself. Stark was learning to identify by hearing pretty well already. That was why when no one else noticed, Stark had.

"...Shu?" The jester stopped drinking mid sip at the call of his name.

"Oh, hey Stark. What's up, long time no see, where've you been?"

"But...I saw you...you were dead!"

"I was? I don't remember being dead..."

"Huh..."

"Yeah..."

THE END

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