Thor Odinson Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 True. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 Consider the kind of army this is... Arrowroot's handpicked guard were taken off the streets and fight with whatever weapon is on hand. There are no sergeants, but the regiment usually follows the guy with the largest quantity of impressive weapons and scars. THIS IS THE ARMY OF CHAOS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 7, 2010 Share Posted October 7, 2010 IIRC, camp followers were more than just morale boosters. They handled stuff like cooking and the occasional laundry run. That last chapter was quite impressive. It's the first time I've felt anything besides pity for Kaelin the Blade Repository. I feel inadequate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 8, 2010 Author Share Posted October 8, 2010 ...Do more than two people actually read this? Oh well, I'm working on chapter...next. I basically know what happens in it, anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 ...Do more than two people actually read this? Oh well, I'm working on chapter...next. I basically know what happens in it, anyway. Cool! Can't wait! I don't know why you're complaining. . .you've got the attention of two lovely ladies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 9, 2010 Author Share Posted October 9, 2010 -State whether you would like feedback, and if you want them in the original topic or in a feedback topic. *wants feedback* Fucking long descriptions. Fucking...other things in my life. I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S HIPPY ARMPIT I'LL HAVE IT UP SOON even if only two/three people will actually read it. I envy your cult, 'clips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 9, 2010 Author Share Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) Yeah, things got serious. People and cities fell to the sword. And I'm running out of names. Almost. And we find out why Garrick used such a hastily-picked name from my own oft-Myth-II-related thoughts, and why Arrowroot was so concerned about 'morale'. Edited October 9, 2010 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 No don't run out of names yet~ I wonder if Cenlon and Diandra got back together... Great chapter as always, Furet~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) I wonder if Cenlon and Diandra got back together... ...The fact that people are even starting to speculate means that at least that scene wasn't as badly written as I'd thought. See, mostly I get inspiration in the afternoon, write my scenes at night, and make sense of them during the day. That one was a nighter. At night my writing can be really messed up, in a good way (?). Edited October 11, 2010 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Have a little faith in yourself~! I get my inspiration while doing mundane stuff in the morning. Perhaps that will help you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) Well, I just kinda...need someone to constructively criticise me. I wrote this primarily to improve as a writer but...SERIOUSLY ANYTHING TO IMPROVE UPON, I NEED. Compliments are great for boostin' morale and all, but...I kinda need advice beyond 'current path is good'. Edited October 12, 2010 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Well, I just kinda...need someone to constructively criticise me. I wrote this primarily to improve as a writer but...SERIOUSLY ANYTHING TO IMPROVE UPON, I NEED. Compliments are great for boostin' morale and all, but...I kinda need advice beyond 'current path is good'. Hmmm. . .though it's an army of generics, I'm not feeling much of anything save pity for Kaelin. Perhaps a little more characterization for the major characters? (or try daydreaming whilst taking a bath. . .seems that's where my wackier ideas sprout up) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 Hmmm. . .though it's an army of generics ...Well, there are, what, four of them? And then there's the Passenveldt subplot, and the people bein' focused on are hardly generic... ESSENTIAL FLAW SPOTTED I'm not feeling much of anything save pity for Kaelin. Perhaps a little more characterization for the major characters? Noted. (or try daydreaming whilst taking a bath. . .seems that's where my wackier ideas sprout up) Diandra was named after this shopping clerk I saw once. The entire storyline surrounding her sprouted up soon after, and Arrowroot had a motive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Ah-HAH, that's more like it! I think I felt a twinge of something when Jarosire bit the dust. And Kaelin's looking more like a main character (Parka still looks like second fiddle. . .for now). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 21, 2010 Author Share Posted October 21, 2010 It's apt he should be the second fiddle...the story's gonna follow Kaelin on his little AngstQuest while Parka and Ixion do manly things offstage. They aren't out of the picture entirely, but right now they aren't really impacting the plot. Kaelin? His chances are somewhat higher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 (edited) That was a poorly-planned decision I still regret. Edited November 20, 2010 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 This chapter feels of inferior quality. I think I wrote it entirely at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 This chapter feels of inferior quality. I think I wrote it entirely at night. I thought it was one of your better ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Then this story is fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted November 6, 2010 Author Share Posted November 6, 2010 (edited) I just wrote...either a chapter and a half of buffer, or possibly two and a half. Why the hell couldn't I get this to work...in the past two weeks? ...It's been four days, apparently. Subtract a day of 'buffer' and consider this an update. Another one written likely in the vein of the last one. Edited November 6, 2010 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 "Do you have a pole to stick that man's corpse on?""No." "Then just try to look terrifying." Loved those lines. And the SWORD OF MANLINESS makes a return! Badass Axe-wielding lady yeaaaaah. Esther is now favorite character. ...:o @ ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted November 7, 2010 Author Share Posted November 7, 2010 The Sword of Manliness is...pretty mediocre. The sabre was probably better. Even with it, Kaelin just doesn't 'do' threatening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Well, you know, it's like the Steel Sword in your FE4 PT. Totally inferior to the Silver Sword you're supposed to get but is manly anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted November 7, 2010 Author Share Posted November 7, 2010 Pretty much. Still, I get the feeling that, already the third-best fighter out of three, he's gonna wish he had some better equipment at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Still good that your Sword of Manliness made an appearance though. Did not expect it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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