Am I Mentally Ill?

[Soren37]

Lately, I've been getting more and more afraid each time my mom sounds paranoid. When she yells at me, I tend to hurt myself afterwards, the last time this happened I choked myself a little bit.

I'm really afraid that something's wrong with me, and I don't want my parents to be the cause, because I know that they've done so much for me. I need your help.

[Phoenix Wright]

Uh, what?

Dude get help. Why are you even asking what to do here? You'd be very lucky to find out someone on this site majored in psychology.

Will you need medicine? Who knows?

[lolDeath]

Sounds like you're just super stressed. If that's the case there is plenty you can do to try and balance it out, but your best bet is to explain to your parents that they are fucking up.

And don't explain it by shooting them while they sleep and bathing in their blood. Use your words.

[Raven]

SILENT SUFFERING IS NOT THE WAY TO DO THINGS.

Telling us here isn't good enough, tell people who can actually change things, like your mother.

[Esau of Isaac]

The golden rule of the internet is to never ask the internet for advice.

See a professional.

[lolDeath]

There's nothing wrong with asking for advice. If, however, they're looking for a definitive answer then yeah not the best place.

[IGdood]

This sounds a bit worse than super-stressed. How do you hurt yourself? Is it impulsive, premeditated? Are you punishing yourself for making your mother yell at you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by work or whatnot?

I don't think yelling is akin to being paranoid...

[Death']

you need to provide way more details

To what extent are you afraid? How long has this been happening. What do you mean by your mom sounding paranoid. your family background how do you hurt yourself & to what extent etc.

[Parrhesia]

You need a psychologist, not a bunch of unwashed teenagers. I cannot stress this enough. Vent here, sure, but you really don't want to rely on us in any capacity.

[Kanami]

I'm more interested in why you find the need to harm yourself, Is it a way to wash away (or hide) some sort of shame/guilt, I've heard of cases where people harm themselves to get back at people. (My parents are horrible, I'll show them how mean they were to me by harming/killing myself) But this doesn't seem to be the case for you.

Stress is most likely a contributor, but there's definetely something else involved, people don't start harming themselves purely out of stress (though they do lash out at others)

To me, it sounds like some warped form of depression and self blame. Whether it be justified or not is another matter. Only thing I can say is to not take life so seriously, you only live once, no point being all self-hate/remorseful about it.

I usually don't like referring people to go see a shrink, since a lot of people aren't willing to change, and psychology is useless unless you're willing to change. Sure you can be tricked into thinking positively, but the after effects aren't so pretty if you suddenly lose faith in that positivity, 2 weeks or 10 years down the track.

[BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER]

Sure you can be tricked into thinking positively, but the after effects aren't so pretty if you suddenly lose faith in that positivity, 2 weeks or 10 years down the track.

Personally I think psychiatrists are a scam and almost never work for the patient. They say the same generic crap to almost every patient they have, they're practically making money off of people's misery and they could care less about their patients. If you're willing to change you can do it yourself, you don't need to pay other people who might as well be strangers to you to tell you what to do to find happiness and/or fix any mental anguish you might have.

[Inactive Account]

Don't hesitate to go for counseling. It doesn't provide any magical solution, but sometimes it can help work out where the problems are coming from, which makes them easier to handle. And if you're hurting yourself, you definitely need to tell someone (the internet does not generally count as "someone").

[Death']

Personally I think psychiatrists are a scam and almost never work for the patient. They say the same generic crap to almost every patient they have, they're practically making money off of people's misery and they could care less about their patients. If you're willing to change you can do it yourself, you don't need to pay other people who might as well be strangers to you to tell you what to do to find happiness and/or fix any mental anguish you might have.

eeek really? maybe some. definitely not all.

It's good to have someone who understands what is exactly happening. Our brains are so much more complex than we think it is. Plus, depression isn't always an emotional thing. i.e. frontal-temporal dementia has the exact same symptoms as depression. It's a somatic cause and neurons are dying. You need medication/surgery, not people trying to boost your self esteem and happiness. I'm not saying that he has that, but there's just so many causes and treatments, only a psychiatrist would be able to tell, yeah?

Edited November 25, 2010 by Hepatitis A

[Kanami]

Hmm the thing is, it's easy for someone to say

Depression > Shrink

Feeling sick > Hospital/Doctor

etcetc

But those services aren't exactly free. Sure it's better to be safe then sorry, but I knew a woman who went to see a shrink for 12 weeks because she thought she was depressed, she burned so much money, she was eating crap all and her health declining during that period (poor poor people). Was she depressed? Not really, just going through a tough time in life.

I agree that at the "self-harm" level, money isn't probably as important as your life. But referring people to go deal with professionals everytime something comes up isn't exactly useful.

A good portion of shrinks around my area are completely useless, even if you're willing to make an effort. They'll sit there, ask occassional questions, and take your money. A bit like how kids bitch to their friends about their problems and get a "Yeah, that sucks" response. Only in this case they're taking money.

As I said before, I'm interested in why someone would self-harm, be scared that they're doing it, seek helf, and continue doing it. Perhaps it was just a (good) lapse in your current judgment.

[lolDeath]

Hell yes, I'm gonna go pay some guy $400 an hour to ignore everything I say and prescribe meds that make me walk into walls.

[Galenforcer]

Hell yes, I'm gonna go pay some guy $400 an hour to ignore everything I say and prescribe meds that make me walk into walls.

Isn't that what schools are for?

[Kanami]

Isn't that what schools are for?

If you're paying 400 dollars an hour for school, I hope you become the next Einstein or something since I sure as hell don't want to pay that much for a basic education. (Even a private one).

As for walking into walls, I find that's what the dropout kids do with their lives. As horrible as the education system is, it's still better then nothing. Now slamming your head against the wall... well that's another matter completely.

@Death

You don't have to use those drugs on yourself you know....

[lolDeath]

Yeah I was speaking literally lol

Edited November 26, 2010 by Death

[whase]

from what I've heard or read:

* hurting yourself physically happens to try canceling out emotional pain, so no, you're not crazy.

* asking non-professionals is a good option for smaller problems. but when it gets this tough, I'd suggest you ask help of at least some kind of professional in this field of work.

* Shrinks are humans too, they will, like anyone, try to get money from other people. if you ever go to one, be sure to ask some people who went to him/her if he/she is worth the money.

I hope this helps

[Crystal Shards]

The only person who can give you a diagnosis is a licensed professional.

That said, seek help. A school counselor is free, if money is an issue.

EDIT: As to those talking shit about psychologists and psychiatrists, you try figuring out the human brain. It's not as exact a science as medicine involving the body is, and even then, there are a lot of mistakes. That's part of the risk, but the potential gains far outweigh the risks. Unless you're schizophrenic, it's very unlikely you'll be prescribed meds that make you "walk into walls," and even then that's rather unlikely. I really, honestly think most people on here talking shit don't even know the first thing about psychology or psychiatry, especially those calling the professionals "shrinks." In other words, see someone who knows what they're talking about, not a bunch of 15-year-olds on the internet.

Edited January 4, 2011 by Crystal Shards

[Sophius]

Personally I think psychiatrists are a scam and almost never work for the patient. They say the same generic crap to almost every patient they have, they're practically making money off of people's misery and they could care less about their patients. If you're willing to change you can do it yourself, you don't need to pay other people who might as well be strangers to you to tell you what to do to find happiness and/or fix any mental anguish you might have.

That opinion show just how ignorant you are about them. I am afflicted with extremely severe OCD and Anxiety, and if it weren't for my Psychaiatrist/Psychologist, I would still be a miserable wreck that screams and has a panic attack every time someone looks at me in a certain way. And I would still have to wash my hands fourty-five times whenever it was time to take a shower.(that is not an exageration)

As for the issue at hand, I had the same problem. Every time my parents would get upset with me, or if I was having a particularly bad episode in school, I would beat myself in the head, choke myself, and scratch myself until I began to profusely bleed. It is probably a good idea to see a psychologist(note: not a psychaiatrist, a psychologist)

and explain to him what is going on. Assuming he knows what he is talking about, he''l probably give some symptom checks. On the note finding a decent psychologist, if you don't like the look of the one you go to, don't stick with them. Find someone else.

Alternatively, you could look up different illnesses online, though you have to be careful of grad school syndrome if you do. Were I to take a guess, I'd say that you have either anxiety or depression. In both cases you should seek treatment immediantly, lest depression leads to suicide or anxiety leads to psychosis. Another thing to note is that medication should be used as a last resort. Some medications(like seryquill) really screw you up, and many leave unable to access certain resources(as an example, the risperdol that I was on caused me to have a serious writers block).

I truly hope that it turns out merely to be stress, and hope for success in any treatment you might pursue.

Edited January 6, 2011 by Sophius

[Crystal Shards]

If you do see someone and end up with medication of any kind (it's not something to be ashamed of--it's more common than you think), make sure you're seeing someone at the same time. Time after time, it has been shown that medication and therapy is far more effective than taking medication alone. It usually leads to less time on the meds and a better recovery overall.

Also, never forget that you do have the support of your friends and family. Find a friend or two you can really count on and make sure they know how you're doing. Hell, do that even if you don't end up seeing someone. You sound like you're in a bad place. Make sure SOMEONE knows how you feel, especially if you end up refusing to see a professional about it.

[Fire Emblem Addict]

Well when your mother yells at you, is there a good rationale for her doing so? If yes, then perhaps the best choice of action would be to change your ways (extremely difficult to do but very rewarding) so that you are not always angering her. If the answer is no, then she is the one mentally ill (in which case just ignore all the bad things that she says in anger). I'm not a psychiatrist but I think the reason you're hurting yourself is because you are angry with who you are (whether because you're ashamed of angering her or because she made you feel bad about yourself through insults during her tirades). If the first scenario seems true, then IMO you should talk with her and see if the reason for her anger is legitimate and logical (again, if so, try your best to change and not anger her in the future). If the reason is not legitimate and you are hurting yourself because she insulted you, then pay her no attention. Again, by no means professional advice; it's just what I'd do given your situation.

EDIT: if you feel that you need help from a third party, then please do so. Better safe than sorry...

Edited April 21, 2011 by Fire Emblem Addict

[Original Alear]

I am bipolar, and right now going through a manic episode (delusions of grandeur). Or so my psychiatrist would tell me.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I just don't know much at all, and don't care to learn much at all, until people start telling me to shut up. Then I will stop talking to them until they are once again ready to talk to me. Maybe. Or maybe I will just keep talking?

[theonefate]

At the topic creator:

Regardless of who's right or not those are definitely cries for help from your inner conscience. Does she has your best interests at heart when she gets angry? If so then tell her how and what you're feeling. If not, then go to a trusted family member and let them know. It always helps to have a second opinion on how you're acting/reacting to things so it you let them know then they can keep an eye out.

It's best to see a psychologist in your case, but tread carefully. While there are those who are effective in their treatments (those who prescribe the right medications along with solid counseling sessions) there are those who don't have your best interests at heart. But don't do a self-diagnosis on yourself or do one based on what you hear from others online; that's what qualified psychologists are for.

And regarding money issues, try applying for insurance programs, like medicaid for example. You can get mental health care for little or no cost to you if you play your cards right.