Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Alright I've been playing around with this idea and I think I i'm ready to write! Our story starts in the Continent of Hylia in the year 2106, the world of Hyrule is completely changed, No more Dungeons and Forests. More like Factories Skyscrapers, No more Moblins and ReDead more like Street Gangs and Assassins. No more Monarchy, No more Kings and Queens. No more Heroes (LOL) This is a story about a kid named Link Cassidy, and a bad twist of fate in his direction. Chapter 1 coming up. Edited July 7, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Prolouge (Link is walking home from a job interview, when he's ambushed by a group of Thugs) Link: Oh shit! Thug 1: Hand over your money and we might not kick your ass! Thug 2: Yeah! Link: C'mon man I'm broke, I need this cash. Thug 1: Well cry me a friggen river I don't care! Link: (Link throws his wallet to the ground) Thug 1: Three Rupees! is this all you have, Street Rat! Thug 2: Yah, your poorer then us. Thug 1: Let's get out of here (The thugs turn to leave) Link: Shiiya (Link throws a dagger at the Thugs) Thug 1: Fu... Thug 2: Oh no! (Thug 2 runs) Link: Oh god! (Link starts to run) Link: Doh! (Link turns around grabs the Thugs wallet and runs) To Be Continued Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serene Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I'd make an LoZ story, but the last one I tried to due, failed horibly, I usually set my idea's in Marist (my continet) other than that good job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) I'd make an LoZ story, but the last one I tried to due, failed horibly, I usually set my idea's in Marist (my continet)other than that good job Thanks, I was anxious bout uploading, I still need to edit Chap 1. Prolouge was pretty easy though. Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 Chapter 1 (Link is returning to his apartment) Link: (Sneaking into his apartment) ???: LINCOLN CASSIDY! Link: Hello Mrs. Orlando Mrs. Orlando: Lincoln Cassidy where is my Rent! Link: Well... Um... WAIT (Link takes the Thugs wallet out of his pocket) Mrs. Orlando: Theres only 15 Rupees in here! Link: Alright my rent give or take 300 Rupees <_< Mrs. Orlando: Next month I throw you out! Link(Underbreath): Shrew Link: Oh well time to visit the Pawn shop Link: Now what can I Pawn? Link: :( To Be Continued Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 Chapter 2 (Link is in a Pawn Shop) Link: C'mon man just 20! Pawn Broker: (Scratch's back) Sorry bro, no go Link: I have a little TV and a Knife and all I get is 20 Rupees! I got Rent! Pawn Broker: Go Crank Dat Wellfare check, then Link: Jesus Christ, tell me you didn't just go THAT low! Pawn Broker: Listen maybe I can get you 30 Rupees but that's it man Link: Fine (Link starts walking out of the Shop, when a Gang of theives jump him) Thug 2: There Boss he's the one who offed Mickey Link: Oh crap! (Link tries to run but is backed into an alley) Thug 2: Somebody gonna get hurt real bad! Boss: Damn Skippy Link: Hey I was just... Boss: (Slaps Link) No excuses your gettin' down under! Thug 2: Yeah like 6 Feet under! Link: Oh enough theatrics just kill me already! Thug 2: If your in such a goddamn hurry then we can just kill ya! Boss: Right say your prayers mister Smart-Ass (Smacks Link to the ground) Link: Shit... (Suddenly sirens sound and two police cars drive in) (Three Cops get out and start Shooting) Thug 2: Oh Cra... Boss: Damn... (Link gets to his feet and starts running) Link: Gotta hide! (Link breaks into the basement of some building) Link: Oh god what a Shitty day! To Be Continued... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CGV Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 nice, very nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 nice, very nice Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masu Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 What is in this basement to make link's day even shitier!? (gannondorf doing zelda?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (gannondorf doing zelda?) No just no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Wow. This could only get worse for poor link if he had an annoying fairy screaming 'HEY LISTEN!!' in his ear every 5 minutes. I like it. Keep it going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Chapter 3 Link: Oh what a shitty day (Link was staring down the barrel of a Gun) Security: Alright punk, Gittup! Link: Oh god! Security: Alright what are you doing here? Link: Running for my life so if you'll excuse me! (Link does a flip kick and knocks away the Guard's Gun) Security: What in the (Swings Nightstick at Link) Link: Shiz (Ducks under and kicks at Guard) Security: OW! (The Guard is knocked to the Ground) Link: Oh crap! (Link heads back to the window) (The Window is Locked) Link: NO CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! (Link runs up the stairs) Link: Oh Crap, Where am I ? (There are several signs around) Link: Temple of Time Museum of Ancient Hylian History Link: Dam I'd love to hear the ad slogan for that Link: DOOR! (Link sprints towards the Exit) Link: GAAAAH! (Link falls to the ground) ???: Trifor....Hero..T..me.....come.........to Me To Be Continued... Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Oh little note the Pawn Broker is the fishing hole guy. Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serene Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Oh little note the Pawn Broker is the fishing hole guy. Good idea, this is good so far, good enough to inspire me to write a comidic story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Chapter 4 (At Link's Apartment) Link: Ugh... ???: LINCOLN CASSIDY WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! Link: Where am I... what... Sword...Triforce! ???: Wake UP! Link: Alright I'm up! Mrs.Orlando: You come in at Three in the AM, Covered in dirt carrying a friggen SWORD knock down Mr.Brodus on the stair-well and then have the nerve to not have any Rent Money on you! Link: Wait you went through my stuff? Mrs.Orlando: No. Link: then how did you... WAIT did you say I came in with a sword! Mrs.Orlando: Yes didn't you listen to a damn thing I say! (Mrs.Orlando hands Link a Silver Sword with a Blue Hilt) Link: Woah! that looks expensive! Mrs.Orlando: Yes go Pawn it and pay your RENT Link: alright Geez... To Be Continued... Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive Account Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 This has potential. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 (edited) Chapter 4 1/2 (Link is showing, the sword to the pawn guy) Link: 5000 Rupees are you kidding! Pawn Broker: No shit, you really cought one! Link: Wow that Sword is the best thing that ever happened to me! Pawn Broker: Alright don't pushit, get out before I change my mind. (Link takes the money and leaves) Pawn Broker(On Phone): Yeah Senator it just came in... To Be Continued... Edited July 6, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knife Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I like this story. Chapter's are short and suspenseful, and it is an overall good story. Nice job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 I like this story. Capter's a re short and suspenseful, and it is an overall good story. Nice job. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 Chapter 5 (A tall dark evil looking guy walks into the Pawn shop) ???: So you got it? Pawn Broker: Yeah it just came in, but uh imma need some form of compensation. ???: Agreed how much? Pawn Broker: 30.000 for the Sword, 6000 for my silence. ???: Agreed. Pawn Broker: Good the Swords here and you never were ;) ???: Good if I was found talking to you, no offense sir, it good lampoon my Presidential run. Pawn Broker: 40.000 ???: What? Pawn Broker: before it was my silence for a Senator, now it's my silence for a President. ???: I figured as much... ???: You seem to have lost your use. (??? takes out a small pistol) Pawn Broker: But Gary c'mon, we've been BFF since we were in the Grade School. ???: THEN DON'T TRY TO SCREW ME! Pawn Broker: Please Gary please? ???: HAA-YAH (Fires the pistol at the Pawn Broker) Pawn Broker: Bitch...I'll get you Dragmire I will, I know stuff... Gary Dragmire: Basterd (Fires another round into him) Dragmire(On Phone): Hello Police Cheif, It's Dragmire, Theres been a Murder at this Pawn Shop on 34th and Labrynna. Dragmire(On Phone): Make SURE I'm not connected. To Be Continued... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 (edited) Chapter 6 (The Police are surounding Links apartment) Officer Darmani: Alright Punk put your hands in the air and come out any resistence and we shoot! (In Link's Apartment) Link: Why me why me Mrs.Orlando: Quick here's some cash now go down to the parking garage and use the service entrance Link: Wow, you are capable of feelings other then rage. Mrs.Orlando: WHAT WAS THAT KID Link: Theres the Mrs.Orlndo I remember (Link runs out of the Apartment and escapes just as the cops break down the door) Officer Darmani: Alright bitch where is he! Mrs.Orlando: I don't know I swear Officer Darmani: Don't lie BITCH (Opens Fire on Mrs.Orlando) (Link drops out of the rafters and lands on Darmani's head) Link: Yipee Ki Yi Eh Mother-Fucker Link: Mrs. Orlando! To Be Continued... Edited July 7, 2008 by Dr. Toa Lord Sothe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Chapter 7 NOTE: 'text' = Thought (Link is fleeing his apartment the police are in hot pursuit) Link: Woah ! (A limo almost hits Link) ???: Watch yourself Jack-Ass! Link: Sorry! Link: Gah...(Link falls to the ground and grabs his left hand) ???: Foll...Triforce....G.....Dor.......orf Link: SHIT! (Link stands up and starts running after the limo) Link: 'Why am I following this car' ------------------------------------------- (Three hours later) (Link is watching a large mansion house) Link: 'What am I doing' Link: Damn (Link climbs into an air vent) ------------------------------------------- (Meanwhile at the house of Gary Dragmire) ???: We have it bagged up your gonna win I'm sure I've played out several scenarios, and Popularly, Elctoraly, you have already won this Election! Dragmire: Excelent Ninji, you're a damn good cheif of staff. Ninji: of course, sir however you are also very populer in the Senate if your numbers go down then we could rig the elction as well. Dragmire: (Playing with the Sword from the Pawn Shop) Of course I'm populer in the senate. Ninji: Sir if I may inquire, what is so intruiging about that sword? Dragmire: Have you ever heard the story of the great Hero of Time, how he defeated the King of Evil and sealed hi in a "Sacred Realm" for 1000 years? Ninji: of course all of us have heard bedtime stories about the Triforce and it's bearers1 Dragmire: (Turns around and starts flame chokeing Ninji) Dragmire: BEDTIME STORY YOU SAY NINJI, BEDTIME STORY YOU SAY THIS IS A BEDTIME STORY! (Dragmire holds up his right hand and a Triforce burns through his glove) Ninji: Oh jesus... Dragmire: You don't know the power of the Tridorce, you are no longer useful, therefore you have no more reason to live! Ninji: Ahhh...... --------------------------------- (Meanwhile in the Vent above that room) Link: 'Oh I'm in deep shit' To Be Continued... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Is there even any interest in this story? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mufasa Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Is there even any interest in this story? Yeah. Sorry I haven't been reading it lately, I've been busy, but I like it. And I'm not bumming your story when I say this, but it's kinda sad that link has dialouge other than 'KYEA!!!' or 'TCHE!!!!' But I guess it's hard to write a story when your main character doesn't talk at all. I like the mix of Real world technology and Loz magic. It's mad cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not Changed by VASM :( Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Also note that Chaos ninji won my contest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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