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Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen draft.


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I'm wondering, how do you do those trades between roms? I think I'd like to start a playthrough sometime using shiny spearow and a shiny poliwag I got on another rom.

There's a special version of VBA you use called VBA-Link. Open both games in it (two separate windows), enable the link function and trade away! It might take a few tries to work, but it's worth it in the end.

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This is too fun. Except for Bert, but man, fuck Bert.

Time for some more meta.

lgd1a.pnglgd2a.png

After healing and stocking up on items, shown in the screenshots above, we venture out to the little place known as Route 3. From here until Misty there are going to be a lot more forced battles than the earlier two. So much so I had to split the trek to Misty into two reasonable parts. Most of it is just levels, anyway. I've come to the realization that I probably never really needed to grind in the first place. Just from forced trainer battles my Wartortle is way higher than I would like it to be.

MOVING ON.

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These make things 999 times easier.

Route 3 has, oddly, three required trainer battles. All of them Bug Catchers. So fun.

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And then we got this. I replaced it with Bubble, seeing as, for a small Power Point drop, it is much stronger than it, 2HKO'ing pesky Metapods and Kakunas.

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Mount Moon. Intimidating, at first glance. I could spend hours in this place and not even be done with it. Encounter rates in dungeons are insane, Zubats are everywhere.

But then we have Repels. There are only two forced battles in Mt. Moon, which makes me extremely happy. With the Repels I bought earlier, I'm just going to be running around getting useful items. The below spoiler contains the booty we find.

[spoiler=This spoiler contains booty. SFW] lgd9a.pnglgd10a.pnglgd11a.pnglgd12a.pnglgd13a.pnglgd19a.png

Bullet Seed is for Belsprout. I like that it has more Power Points.

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I really don't like Team Rocket, but whatever. For now they are nothing. Come Saffron Tower...

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So we beat up nerds and take their finds in a mountain. Also, evolution time! Yay! (I should have waited until 18 for early Bite, but I'll need the defense boosts for Gary... And plus waiting one level isn't going to be hard at all.)

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This is going to be critical to beating Bulbasaur. I won't have any other counters.

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Our first draft pick. I'm not overly excited about Relaxed (bonus to Defense, hindrance to Speed). It means he'll be more of a tank, so in the end I guess it's worth it. Pretty much all of the time he'll be out-sped, however.

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These may come in handy later.

Now, I forgot to grab ACTUAL battle screenshots from Bert's battle, but I do have information on what to do. Pidgeotto will out-speed, but won't be doing a lot of damage. Sand Attack is the worst it can do. Trust me, it is the worst. With how wonky accuracy and evasion statistics are, any negative counter you have can seriously screw up your plans. I believe it got off one before spamming Gust until it died, but that could easily have gone totally wrong. Bulbasaur will be sent out to counter Wartortle, but my AI got screwy and decided to spam the ever missing Sleep and Poison Powders. I got off 3 Tail Whips, which was enough to 2HKO it. With the main threat gone, it was basically EXP clean up. I had Claws take on Abra, setting up +6 Defense Curl before the final blow was delivered. Rattata spent four out of the six turns it was alive Tail Whipping me down until it realized it was going to die, so it spit out two Quick Attacks, which did jack-all to Claws and his defense. Checkmate, Bert.

I spent the rest of the time going through Nugget Bridge. A required 6 trainers. Luckily Claws needs levels, or else I'd be in fact OVER leveled. We mopped up the floor with everyone, including the Rocket.

Ending quote, levels and statistics so far coming your way.

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[spoiler=Level ups]lgd4a.pnglgd5a.pnglgd7a.pnglgd15a.pnglgd16a.pnglgd25a.pnglgd26a.pnglgd27a.pnglgd28a.pnglgd29a.pnglgd30a.pnglgd31a.png

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So yeah, last time we dealt with an American-out-of-universe. And it was fun. Well, maybe...no, yeah, it was fun. :D And wouldn't you know it, there are a bunch of cities right near Cerulean! Let's go and -

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Oh. Right. Son of a -

Chapter 5: Shit Gets Creepy

Aaaaaaanyway. If you recall, my HM slave is a Meowth. I'm rather happy with that pick - it gives me an early user for Cut AND Flash. And since the coppers ain't letting us get past, we gotta find a way around. Like Rock Tunnel. Which sort of needs Flash. GOOD THING I GOT IT, HUH GUYS?

soanywaylet'skeepgoing

[spoiler=Down the Rabbit Hole, where nothing can go wrong]

This was a pretty easy dungeon. RAMMUS basically minced everything with STAB Rollout and Magnitude. Plenty of mooks, plenty of boring shit. The first half was pretty tedious.

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Yeah. People like this. Not a big deal, really...glad I brought an HM slave with me. In fact, I'm gonna go thank her!

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Uh...

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UHHHHHHHH...what's going on?

[spoiler=HEY]

IT'S LIKE THIS EXCEPT THE LIGHTS ARE ACTUALLY OFF OH GOD

Okay. Don't panic, Dumpy...stay calm. You're fine. You're okay. You're-you're fine. Let's just keep moving...

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WHAT WHAT THE FUCK SINCE WHEN ARE MANKEYS IN ROCK TUNNEL

No. Stop. They're just random encounters. Not a problem. There isn't anything legitimately scary in this cave.

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...oh god it's a fucking pokefurry RUN FOR YOUR LIVES adsfazdsfasdfvasdfvasdgvsdfvsdfvgsdfsdfasdf

[spoiler=If you're sick of the "it's dark and I'm scared" gimmick, disregard this spoiler.]

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WHAT? PAT BENATAR? WHAT? OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING MEOWTH COME BACK I'M SORRY I NAMED YOU SLAVE I'LL RENAME YOU I PROMISE

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But that wouldn't even work because the twigs would be too hard to seeeeeeee. I just want to go hoooooooome. ;-;

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WAH! Oh...wait, no, you're pretty cool. No thanks, buddy. I'll be back with another Pokemon to take you up on that offer, though, 'kay? smile.gif

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Fucking Japan. They're kids! (No, I don't have a humorous line about why this is scary. It just annoys me.)

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Is it over? Am I dead? As long as the afterlife isn't dark I'm okay with being dead. Get me the fuck outta here!

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Huh. That happened.

Well, it's good to be out of that place. And we never, ever, have to go back except to pick up Rock Slide, which will be easy. Still, I wonder where my Meowth scampered off to...meh, I probably just boxed it. I'll just go get it now, in case I have some trees to cut down.

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Um...well, shit.

[spoiler=Of course, all of this HAS to happen in Lavender Town, the town where bad dreams come true.]

Okay, don't panic. I can just look around. Meowth couldn't have gone far.

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I guess the first place I'll look is that creepy tower that houses graves...seems legit and un-scary.

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oh goddamn it.

Well, at least this time he won't jump me. I don't think he even notices me, actually. Maybe this time I can scare him and make HIM say

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FUCK! COME ON! I SAW YOU FIRST, ASSHOLE!

Whatever. Send out your clown Pokemon so I can destroy them.

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Picture this happening about four times. Once you're done, congratulate yourself on simulating a rival battle.

Anyway, let's keep moving through this stupid place. Nothing creepy has happened so far. Except, you know, maze of Pokemon graves. Nothing else, though. We got this.

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Okay, creepy fog on top of creepy grave maze. Not...not a big deal. We should be okay.

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Pardon?

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Oh...oh. Oh my.

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Oh my...

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Fuck this. No. I tried. PEACE I'M OUTTA HERE.

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KISS MY ASS, LAVENDER TOWN. I'M DONE DEALING WITH YOU.

...Come back, Meowth. :<

My team at this point: Lv. 32 Golem (RAMMUS?!), Lv. 32 Charmeleon (ODAHVIING!), Lv. 33 Alakazam (ULTRALORD!). A bit overleveled for my spot in the game. Hopefully I can get a drink to the guards soon, so I can pick up a fourth member and maybe even this out a bit. And I am down an HM slave...whatever, I'll find it. Stay tuned?

Credit for the YT link goes to Sakusa, who will undoubtedly garner amazing accolades and attention for having shown it to me. gee_wiz_emoticon.gif

Edited by Anti-Social Knight 2.0
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Chapter 2: What Lurks at the End of the Butthole Tunnel?

After clearing the rubble off my hands, I immediately head east to face my desti-- Oh darn. The geezer sent someone to check u--- Oh, it's a package from the maternal unit *twitch* and a letter!

[spoiler=Let's see what it says!]

Pokemon-FireRed_11-1.pngPokemon-FireRed_12-1.png

Oh Mommy, you do care! *sniff*

So I put on my awesome new kicks and zip zoom all around town with turbo on for a bit before going back to what I was doing before...

[spoiler=And then this happened.]

Pokemon-FireRed_01.png WTF you stalked me through Viridian Forest AND Pewter?

Pokemon-FireRed_04.png WHY SHOULD I BE NICE YOU CLAIMED THAT I WAS EYE-RAPING YOU! *shudder*

Pokemon-FireRed_06.png I'd have you for dinner if I.... *grumble*

After running past a bunch of other mooks I didn't wanna bother with, I healed my trusty little puker bubbler at the convenient Pokemon Center at the foot of the butthole mountain and gazed at the obstacle ahead.

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Mt. Butthole Moon, here we come! Ninja time, go go!

[spoiler=Action-packed secret agent missions are a go! (Not really.)]

Pokemon-FireRed_10.png Shoot! I was caught!

Pokemon-FireRed_13.png Thaaaaat's more like it. It'll probably shut 'em up for a while. I'll come back to dispose of the body make sure he's okay later.

[spoiler=Agent Sakumien continues...]

Pokemon-FireRed_14.pngPokemon-FireRed_16.png

A rival appears! This might get a little messy...

Pokemon-FireRed_22.png Teehee. He mad~ :3:

Pokemon-FireRed_19.png Who're you calling a kid!? I'm a deadly-- Pfeh, done already?

Pokemon-FireRed_24.png Insolent little... I'll teach you to mess with the best!

Pokemon-FireRed_25.png I thought so.

And then our darling heroine makes it through the butthole cave and arrives at the lush town of blue.

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The intelligence quotient of these female citizens is... quite uncanny, isn't it?

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Um... how do these goons even get the slip on you? Their Pokemon are at, like, level 14 or something. Don't you have a huge police force and stuff? Where is my tax money GOING!?

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Oh. I think that's where it went. I'm blowing this popsicle sta--

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JUST who I wanted to see. Wonderful.

[spoiler=Wannabe Tough Guy Stuff]

Pokemon-FireRed_40.png Nope, I think you're hungry for more! angry.gif

Pokemon-FireRed_43.png COME AT ME YOU COWARD!

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Yes, you should most definitely pay me tribute.

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Muhahahahha-- what!?

So then I cross this silly land bridge (they're doing it wrong) to beat up a bunch of cocky kids.

[spoiler=Oh the brutality!]

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You're gonna wish you never said that....

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[spoiler=Skip if you don't care for Rocket stuff]

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Don't care, just get outta my--

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No, now go aw--

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Pushy, aren't you?

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*insert violence too horrible to describe with pictures here*

And so I rummage about the grass recruiting more peons to support my cause.

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[spoiler=More brutality and violence]

Pokemon-FireRed_82.png And this is how I'll reward cowards! Next!

Pokemon-FireRed_84.png Mine's cooler, next!

Pokemon-FireRed_90.png Oh, you're that harlot's significant other. My boyfriend's cooler and she wishes you were more like him. Next!

Pokemon-FireRed_93.png Prepare yourself. NEXT!

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Oh, for the love of...

Notes:

- I'm refraining from grinding as much as possible. This means no wild Pokemon steamrolling unless necessary to the extreme, which would be very unlikely.

- I'm skipping as many trainers as I can for a certain hindrance vital member of my team. I'll be doing this quite often for the rest if only to let them catch up.

- Some of you may have noticed that my Squirtle should probably higher leveled than this, despite the restraints I've put on myself. All will be clear soon, my faithful stalkers playthrough followers, though the more clever of you would have guessed already.

- ASK totally stole my thunder for Vermillion, so you might see some repeat screens.

Edited by Sakusa
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Pokemon-FireRed_35-1.png

USELESS GET OUT OF MY WAY I HAVE TO FIND MEOWTH YOU STUPID SKANK

Chapter 6: Meowth? Meowth! MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWTH!!!

[spoiler=If you care about the mooks west of Lavender...]

Well, I don't. But I found this guy funny.

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HAH! Oh, how delightfully 4kids of you. Gamblers who like beer are now GAMERS WHO DRINK ORANGE JUICE FOR THE VITAMIN C! oh god that's so stupid.

So we went through another dubious tunnel, which was lacking in Meowths, and came out on the other side of the forbidden city of thirst. The guard was still a prick, so to Celadon we go!

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GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING GAMBLING

[spoiler=GAMBLING~]

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Fuck you, don't care, be an enabler please and thank you LET'S GO GAMBLEEEE~

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THANKIN' YA KINDLY, GUVNAH! A RIGHT ROLE MODEL, YOU ARE! OFF TO GAMBLE, THEN!

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Ohhhhhhhh, yes.

[spoiler=And then this!]

Pokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.png

Pokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.pngPokemon-FireRed_45.png

Bored now. Gonna go be productive.

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Hey, move it, jackass! Lemme see the poster!

And then I kicked his ass. :3

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Oh shit. Things are getting real here.

[spoiler=Total Originality Ahead]

...INFILTRATE...

...THE ENEMY FORTRESS...

...ROCKET HIDEOUT!

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...DESTROY...

...THE FINAL WEAPON...

...METAL GEAR!

Pokemon-FireRed_51.pngPokemon-FireRed_52.png -necksnap-

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Goddamn, I'm stealthy.

WHO ARE THE PATRIOTS?!

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Damn right you did.

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LIQUIIIIIIIID~!

Wait a minute...that couch looks really comfortable. Just give me a second here...

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Much better. How you doin'? cool.gif

Wait, you aren't Liquid!

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Wild Don Corleone appeared.

Giovanni didn't give me too much hassle. My typing let me faceroll him pretty handily, as a matter of fact. But he had one Pokemon that gave a bit of trouble to ODAHVIING.

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DO WANT. GIMME.

But yeah, I beat that one up too. WIN GET~!

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Yeah, the creeper motif isn't really that funny anymore, Slick. Shoo.

Good. Now I get to rule Team Rocket.

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gee_wiz_emoticon.gif

Oh look, he dropped something. Yoink!

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Awesome.

So now I never have to come back to this wretched place. Except for TMs. Anyway, let's go to Celadon Gym!

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:<

My team at this point: Lv. 35 Charmeleon (ODAHVIING!), Lv. 36 Golem (RAMMUS?!), Lv. 36 Alakazam (ULTRALORD!). I'm close to the Safari Zone and the Dojo, so I imagine I'll add to my ranks soon enough. BUT MEOWTH WHERE ARE YOU?! D:

Stay tuned or something. ;D

Edited by Anti-Social Knight 2.0
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sorry i've been rather inactive, i just wanted to update that i'm blitzing through the game but things pick up during the week so updates are going to be short until spring break next week. also, bellsprout >_>

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I'm just trying to find time to finish my EHM draft first; school's busy for me at the moment. But I'm not that far from the end, and after that I shall restart this.

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I beat the trainers on route 3 and then brought the Magikarp in the pokemon center. I named him Posidon, which goes well with his serious nature.

After a bit of grinding for Posidon, I decided to catch my Zubat so I could grind both at the same time. I named her Betty.

After what seemed like forever, Posidon learned to fight so I went into mount moon. Inside, Rose evolved.

After making it through mount moon, I taught Mega punch to Petal.

After then spending what felt like a year (Magikarp) I grinded everyone to level 20, Causing Posidon (who shall be renicknamed to Fish at a later duck date)

to evolve.


In Party
Pokemon Nickname Ability Nature M/F Lvl HP Atk Def SpA SpD Spd Move 1 Move 2 Move 3 Move 4 Item
Ivysaur Rose Overgrow Bashful F 20 58 30 37 39 39 35 Tackle Vine Whip Leech Seed Sleep Powder
Butterfree Bianca Compoundeyes Rash F 20 57 28 30 44 34 40 Confusion Tackle Sleep Powder Supersonic
Pikachu Petal Static Lonely F 20 45 29 19 29 22 49 Thundershock Slam Mega Punch Thunder Wave
Gyarados Posidon Intimidate Serious M 20 71 56 40 32 45 50 Bite Tackle Splash
Zubat Betty Inner Focus Hardy F 20 52 28 21 19 23 34 Leech Life Astonish Supersonic Bite
[/Code]

Edited by Snivy
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Well, I guess that's it. My poor Meowth is gone. :( I can't keep existing in this state of denial. An Onix probably ate it or something, so I should just come to terms with that and mourn its-

Pokemon-FireRed_83-1.png

Oh hey cool let's roll. TO THE GYM!

Chapter 7: Unisex Gyms Are Totally Straight

So last time we lost an HM slave, or something. Good thing they're everywhere in Kanto; otherwise I might have had a problem. Anyway, now that we got one, we can finally get past that stupid tree.

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The fuck is Roshi doing here...?

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Hah! Nature sucks.

[spoiler=Sexism is a Family Activity]

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You love it, you skank. Otherwise you wouldn't be presenting your behind to ULTRALORD.

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Always with the competition. What do you care who I look at?

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Well, guess what I've got? :3

Pokemon-FireRed_87-1.pngPokemon-FireRed_88-1.png

A Flying-type. So fuck you and your arbitrary aversions.

Yep. ODAHVIING is finally the red dragon he always dreamed of being. Makes me glad Erika doesn't have any rock-type moves...

A couple of skankmooks later...

Pokemon-FireRed_92-1.pngPokemon-FireRed_93-1.png

Adorable. Time for another gym faceroll battle.

[spoiler=Vs. Erika - no, there's no joke here, it's just a gym battle.]

Let me sum this up for you.

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Bam. This is why Charizard is a badass.

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And I am never going to use it, probably. AWAY WE GO!

And with that, our friend Dumpy leaves the turtle hermit to his peeping on ten-year-olds. I don't judge...

But before we leave Celadon, let's go bother more old people!

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Bitchin'. I love TEA. Tea is good too, but TEA is the shit. I can't wait to drink this.

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It is awfully tast, you stupid guard. Watch as I drink it in front of you and laugh at your thirst.

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...goddamn it Dumpy stop being a hero.

Great. There goes my TEA. Well, at least we can go into Saffron now...

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And it has two gyms. what.

Well, that Rocket flunkie is probably just going to stand there for a while, and I'm feeling generous enough not to incinerate him which actually means Dumpy's stupid heroic streak won't LET me so let's just check out this Fighting Dojo.

[spoiler=Everything In This Spoiler Is 100% Not Suggestive, so Don't Even Think That Way]

Pokemon-FireRed_105-1.png

...I don't think I even need to talk about this. Just think of the sailors on the S.S. Anne. EXCEPT DON'T

But yeah, this place was a joke. Having Alakazam tends to make that happen.

Pokemon-FireRed_106-1.png

O.O I want one of those. Can I have one of those? I promise I'll kill you less...

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NO I WANT THE BOXING GLOVE GUY. FUCK YOUR FIGHTING POKEMO-

Pokemon-FireRed_108-1.png

Oh.

Okay then. GIMME.

That's right, folks. Team Member 4 has arrived, and he's conducting the Dreamland Express. With his fists. He's...it's funny because he punches you to sleep oh shut up just look at his stats.

Pokemon-FireRed_109-1.png

He has a Naughty nature, which is fanfuckingtastic - it means his defenses remain balanced and he packs more punch, which is exactly what I need him for. I eagerly await the elemental fists~

My team at this point: Lv. 38 Charizard (ODAHVIING!), Lv. 37 Golem (RAMMUS?!), Lv. 37 Alakazam (ULTRALORD!), Lv. 25 Hitmonchan (MR.SANDMAN). We're getting there, boys and girls. And the Safari Zone is one bicycle ride away.

Down a very, very steep hill.

A steep hill covered in more sketchy guys that'll want to get in my face.

Oh, lawd...stay tuned if you're sadistic. Or if you're not. KEEP VALIDATING MY INTERNET CREATIVITY DAMMIT

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I think it's time I actually do this!

lgdb1.pnglgdb2.pnglgdb3.png

Here we have our second member of my team. I'm not particularly happy with a nature that takes away from a crucial defense, but having more Speed is always welcome. Especially with Victreebel's... yeah

lgdb5.pnglgdb8.png

Moves that are pretty essential for the upcoming gym battle. (Spoilers: Misty is a bitch.)

lgdb9.png

Haha, we're going on a boat. (I hate the boat)

lgdb10.png

THIS BITCH. Her Pokemon's stats are crazy, and Water is a very good offensive type. Most of my moves are just going to chip it down, while they fire off scary strong Water Pulses. Time for my early game nightmare.

lgdb11.png

The strategy here was basically put it to sleep, Growth to +3, and kill with Bullet Seed. I'm REALLY glad the first seed was a critical, I'm not sure if it was going to hit 3 times.

I was really afraid to screenshot during the Starmie battle in case I messed up, so I'll explain it here. Let me toss you some figures; 50 Health, 47 Special Attack, 40 in both Physical and Special Defense, and 53 Speed. Those are Starmie's NEUTRAL stats at level 21. I have no idea what natures they run, or their Individual Values, but god those are scary. Out-speeding everything during an under leveled draft at this point, almost two times as fast as my Wartortle, I wouldn't recommend hoping for a speedy victory. My strategy really relied on those three growths and at least a four hit with Bullet Seed. My fallback plan was a 5HKO with Bite (two would get it into Super Potion use range, another thing that is very annoying). I only got in a Sleep Powder before it woke up, so I went to the Biting and won barely. Misty is the scariest early game gym; Brock and Surge are jokes.

[spoiler=Level Ups]lgdb4.pnglgdb6.pnglgdb7.pnglgdb12.pnglgdb13.png

[spoiler=Statistics So Far]lgdb14.png

I'm almost positive I could be faster, money might be a problem soon.

lgdb15.png

Special Defense is going to hurt me soon, but for now it's alright. I really wish the Attack and Special Attack statistics would switch, but oh well.

lgdb16.png

I'm really loving this guy, he has at least a 25 HP IV, so that makes me happy. Once I get Staryu, he's gone, but until then he's a pretty clutch member.

lgdb17.png

The physical muscle of the party, but very slow. He's my main defense against Surge, so that's going to be sweet.

I'm pretty happy with this.

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also, on phone.

Fallenite, read the OP, I think you have Bellsprout already from the picks list.

I'm not sure what you mean :?

EDIT: UPON REREADING THROUGH MY LAST POSTS I understand what you meant. I wasn't picking there, just saying how bad Bellsprout is :V If we have to pick again, I'll take Porygon.

Edited by Fallenite
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I'm having too much fun.

lgdc1.png

I hate Team Rocket. Their outfits are so bad.

lgdc4.png

This will probably help a LOT when I need to train my late game picks up.

lgdc5.png

This guy is a waste of time, but unfortunately I need the bike... I think. I'll have to recheck that.

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Look how proportionate this is!

So then I raided the S.S. Anne for it's treasures. Below are the items I deemed necessary.

[spoiler=Loot]lgdc7.pnglgdc8.pnglgdc9.pnglgdc11.pnglgdc12.png

And then there was Bert. This time around Bert is MUCH more dangerous due to Ivysaur and Kadabra. Pidgeotto is still annoying with Sand Attack, but overall it's a pushover as long as you watch out for Quick Attack in case you're low on health. Ivysaur is the real threat on the team with Sleep Powder and Leech Seed, able to decimate pretty much anyone on my team not named Bellsprout, who hits back with... nothing. Chip with 2-5 damage at best with Bullet Seed, but who has TIME for that lame strategy? Not me. So I went with putting IT to sleep with my own Sleep Powder, and finishing it off with Wartortle. Next up was Raticate, who fell prey to Wartortle's Water Gun. Close call, 2 HP was all I had at the end of that tussle. Kadabra was the final hurdle, being, in my opinion, the most dangerous. Confusion hit both Bellsprout and Sandshrew for an OHKO. I pretty much had to use a Super Potion here, lest I get wiped out and force a restart... yeah, no.

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All in all it was an intense battle.

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What a jerk.

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Best move ever, am I right?

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Good bye, tiny boat!

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Okay, before anyone goes crazy over this, I have a few very sound reasons for this. For one, I can't be assed to go and catch an HM Slave. This will save me a few minutes at least. Another thing is that Bellsprout and evolutions' level up move pool is absolutely atrocious for the longest time. Cut might actually BENEFIT it, who knows. And by the time I don't need it, the move deleter is just in Fuchsia and pretty much right around the corner.

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Bossing up this dude's move set, Dig's just to get me through this next gym. Speaking of which...

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NO THIS DIDN'T TAKE AN HOUR TO FIND. BOY DO I LOVE THIS TEDIOUS MAZE. GOSH NINTENDO WHY DON'T YOU MAKE THIS AN ICE PUZZLE AS WELL.

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Lieutenant Surge is kind of a pushover with a Ground type. There isn't much about him besides "pray to God you don't get paralyzed."

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Let's talk strategy: USE DIG. I guess also make sure you don't get hit as well. But isn't that kind of every strategy devised ever?

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On the plus side it is pretty relieving to have such an easy gym leader after Misty.

[spoiler=Level Ups]lgdc2.pnglgdc3.pnglgdc10.pnglgdc13.pnglgdc14.pnglgdc15.pnglgdc17.pnglgdc26.pnglgdc29.png

[spoiler=Statistics So Far]lgdc31.png

Pretty happy since I usually spend a gajillion hours in S.S. Anne. Money...

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I'm so proud of you. Except learn how to take a special attack soon, please.

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There are no words for how clutch Wartortle is.

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Can someone say glass cannon?

Two words. Rock. Tunnel.

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oh no a doublepost

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...

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Grr...

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FUCKING HERO IMPULSE ASFLKJAKBAFASHFD

Chapter 8: Fisting Your Fears

Yeah, we can't get Hitmonlee. But it's kay, 'cause we got Mr. Sandman! :D

So I guess now we should start tying up loose ends so we can get to the Safari Zone, huh? That shouldn't be too bad. Where do we even have to-

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Fuck.

[spoiler=A grave maze full of psycho bitches. Wonderful.]

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Charming.

Since Mr. Sandman was behind at this point, I figured I'd give him a chance to grind up some levels as I traversed Psycho Bitch Land. Normally, having a fighting Pokemon solo a Ghost dungeon would be a horrific idea.

Luckily for me...

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Mr. Sandman knew Pursuit as soon as I got him. cool.gif Gastly sweeps ensued.

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Then he got this.

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Then he got THIS and lost that.

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Then he...lol no.

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Oh, look, a Channelbitch whose idea of a good time isn't GURGLING AND SCREAMING AT TEN-YEAR-OLDS.

Also, heals! Huzzah!

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Oh dayum.

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OH DAYUM. THIS IS WHY I TOOK ICE PUNCH, HATERS. GET SOME.

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Out of my way, grunt. The old man must die.

...Yeah, at this point trying to be evil is just demoralizing. The plot is going to march ever forward, and we WON'T get to kill Mr. Fuji poetically in a place that's already a graveyard.

But he does give us a flute! You know, for...blazing a trail through hordes of crazy skanks and fucking GHOSTS and Team Rocket but they don't count...yeah, a flute. Wonderful.

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Fuck it. I'm outta here.

[spoiler=The Joys of Bicycling]

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IMAGINE I POSTED LIKE 20 OF THESE ALL WITH SUGGESTIVE QUOTES FROM THE CREEPY BIKERS OK WE GET IT MOVING ON.

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Hmm. An interesting thought.

Think about this for a moment, folks. And I mean REALLY think about it. What is the game telling us? To my way of thinking, this is Game Freak telling impressionable children that tossing a video game across the room (or even giving up intentionally, for that matter) is a less desirable course of action to throwing Poke Balls - the objective of which is to subdue and enslave wild animals for countless gladiatorial battles during which the Pokeslaves are forced to use their survival instincts to entertain callous masters as young as ten.

tl;dr: SLAVERY>ANGER

This game is rated E, boys and girls and boys. E. As in "Enslavement." As in "Egregious and evil exploitation."

AND YA KNOW WHAT? I DON'T CARE. :3

One sketchy ride down a ridiculously steep hill later...

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Yay! We're here! Now the first thing we ought to do is scope out the town for a Gym and

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LOL NO

[spoiler=CROCODILE DUMPY (lolseewhatIdidthere) HUNTS FOR A MARSUPIAL]

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If only it actually looked like this.

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It looks like this.

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And this happens every other step. GET OUTTA THE WAY PURPLE GUY

(For an accurate experience, refer to the above two pictures about ten times before proceeding. Done? Good.)

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CROIKEY!

MINE MINE MINE MINE MINEMINEMINEMINEMIIIIIINE

Time for a good old-fashioned humor joke.

How many Safari Balls does it take to screw over a Kangaskhan's freedom?

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JUST ONE. cool.gif

We got us a fifth member, folks! All I need is an original name that isn't a blatant ripoff of anything I've heard of before.

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FUCK I'M SO CLEVER

She's Sassy-natured, which means she loses a bit of speed but gets plenty of bulk in exchange. I'm fine widdat - she's there to bruise yokels anyway.

With Chichaskhan in tow, we can finally make our way to Fuchsia Gym.

...Next time. :3

My team at this point: Lv. 39 Charizard (ODAHVIING!), Lv. 38 Golem (RAMMUS?!), Lv. 39 Alakazam (ULTRALORD!), Lv. 36 Hitmonchan (MR.SANDMAN), Lv. 25 Kangaskhan (CHI-CHI?!). Going well. Going very well indeed. We only need one more member and we're set for the game. Tune stayed!

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I got back to where I was before my save got corrupted. Best battle against Misty EVAR. Level 24 Charmeleon and level 20 Fearow. So Fearow took out Staryu with 2 Fury Attacks, without losing any health. Then Starmie outsped Fearow and Water Pulsed it. Fearow hits it with a Pursuit, bringing it down to just above 1/4 health. Then Starmie Water Pulses again and scores a critical, knocking Fearow out. Now Starmie outspeeds Charmeleon too, and Water Pulses him down to 1/3 health. He gets confused, but still manages to hit hit with a Mega Kick, bringing it down to around 1/4 health. Then, I blow my Revive on Fearow, and Charmeleon is knocked out by another Water Pulse. Starmie hits Fearow with Water Pulse, bringing him down to 4 health and inflicting confusion again. And then Fearow battles through the confusion to score a critical hit with Fury Attack, which finishes it off.

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For what it's worth, if we're still picking, I'm fine with Psyduck.

Wait. I posted.

I think that means something...

Chapter 9: Dattebayo~!

Get it? Because...because ninjas. Shut up it's funny.

[spoiler=But first...]

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Kinda gross, but whatever. Gimme HM04 so I never have to come back here.

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COOL, BRO. I'LL GO DO THAT RIGHT NOW!

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...

Oh, that's right. This is a waste of time and also boring. Why would I ever want to do this?

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Apparently because it causes cardiac arrest...?

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How fitting this would be. If only...if only.

Anyway, back to fishing.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG MY HEART

Yeah, not really. But then this!

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Ayyyyyyyyy. SIX MEMBAHS.

Sorry, no initial screenie of this one. D: BUT I CAN TALK ABOUT HIM!

This particular Tentacool (whom I have dubbed KUHTHOOLOO because creativity) has a Brave nature, which really isn't what I was hoping for - I would prefer to have its speed unhindered. All the same, the defensive stats are where they should be, so all is well. The only problem I have is that he's quite a bit underleveled. If only there was some sort of item that allowed sharing experience...some sort of experience-sharing item...

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WELL FUCK YOU TOO, GAME.

[spoiler=Because no one is tired of mooks yet!]

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Not sure if need an adult...

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...

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I thought so. Pedal your dumb ass out of my face. I have jellyfishing to do.

A few more of these yokels happened, and I'll admit it: I forgot to take screenies of any of them. They were more than a little underwhelming, so...yeah.

So with a sort-of-up-to-date sixth, our buddy Dumpy can finally make his way to Fuchsia Gym.

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Oh, the irony. Fuchsia Gym has a lavender floor.

[spoiler=Obnoxious is the new stealthy!]

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Spoiler alert: I kicked his ass using brute strength. :3

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You have a whip and what looks like a lollipop, and your title is Tamer. Something got lost in translation there, guy.

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Well, it...kind of makes it hard for the ninjas to be ninjas, doesn't it? I mean, I can see you. All of you. Just standing there, waiting for me to walk past. (For the record, this guy is juggling Poke Balls and wearing a jester outfit. Once again, pretty shitty ninja.)

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DAVID BOWIE-SENSEI-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA-KUN

Meh. At least you look the part of a ninja. Despite the fact that you're just as much the polar opposite of subtlety as the putzes you employ.

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Believe...it?

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Oh. Right. Your typings are horrendous and I can exploit them to death. I CAN HAS BADGE AND ALSO TOXIC?

Finally, we can leave this hellhole. Only good for the hunting, I swear...

My team at this point: Lv. 39 Charizard (ODAHVIING!), Lv. 39 Golem (RAMMUS?!), Lv. 39 Alakazam (ULTRALORD!) Lv. 38 Hitmonchan (MR.SANDMAN), Lv. 36 Kangaskhan (CHI-CHI?!), Lv. 28 Tentacool (KUHTHOOLOO). The legion is complete. I'm considering benching one of 'em to have an HM slave, but I'm still figuring that out. Either way, we're lookin' pretty strong, folks! Stay tuned, 'cause the momentum is picking up! 8D

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