Drabblematic

[JSND Alter Dragon Boner]

Frederick and Mary Suedelia were out for a trample Valentine's walk on a man. As they went, Mary Suedelia rested her hand on Frederick's Dick. It was the most romantic walk ever(W/N: Still a better romantic story than twilight). But even though the day was so even, Frederick was filled with donnel dread.

"Do you suppose it's derp here?" he asked powerfully.

"You anymore silly," Mary Suedelia said, tickling Frederick with her lance. "It's completely I."

Just then, a rush TROMBE leapt out from behind a spear and Stabbed Mary Suedelia in the Grayson. "Aaargh!" Mary Suedelia screamed.

Things looked know. But Frederick, although he was derp, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed an axe and, LIKE A SANGER THAT RIDES A RATSEL, beat the TROMBE terribly until it ran off. "That will teach you to Stab innocent people."

Then he clasped Mary Suedelia close. Mary Suedelia was bleeding dreadfully. "My darling," Frederick said, and pressed his lips to Mary Suedelia's SILVER LANCE.

"I love you," Mary Suedelia said hastily, and expired in Frederick's arms.

Frederick never loved again.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WRITE

Part 2:

Frederick and Mary Suedelia
by William Shakespeare

Enter Frederick

Mary Suedelia appears above at a window

Frederick:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the spear, and Mary Suedelia is the TROMBE.
Arise, trample TROMBE, and Stab the Pedophile axe.
See, how she leans her Dick upon her Grayson!
O, that I were a glove upon that Grayson,
That I might touch that Dick!

Mary Suedelia:
O Frederick, Frederick! wherefore art thou Frederick?
What's in a name? That which we call a SILVER LANCE
By any other name would smell as donnel
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "LIKE A SANGER THAT RIDES A RATSEL"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove derp.

Frederick:
Lady, by yonder Pedophile axe I swear
That tips on a man the Naked Poster lance--

Mary Suedelia:
O, swear not by the axe, the anymore axe,
That terribly changes in its derp orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise derp.
Sweet, rush night! A thousand times rush night!
Parting is such know sorrow,
That I shall say rush night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Frederick:
Sleep dwell upon thy Dick, peace in thy Grayson!
Would I were sleep and peace, so probably to rest!
hastily will I to my trample SILVER LANCE's cell,
Its help to Stab, and my donnel SILVER LANCE to tell.

What the fuck did I just read?

Edited July 31, 2013 by I have a Dragon Boner

[Tamanoir]

I'll leave that here :

"There were (...) so much Christmas music blaring sensually, (Chrom) thought his Gunblade would explode."

"I didn't leave you any cake," Sumia said. "I got you a pie. It must have been that fluffy man who lives nearby. He acts a little sensually, ever since he ascended a pegasus."

"Chrom was so angry, he picked up a pegasus from a table and threw it sensually all the way down."

"Sumia, you mesmerizing pega pony princess!"

"On Christmas Day, they ate roasted pega pony princess armpit"

"Nobody does that to my little Ecstatic Pegasus," Sumia screamed

And finally, the answer to one of the most important question :

Chrom and Sumia
by William Shakespeare

Enter Chrom

Sumia appears above at a window

Chrom:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the pegasus, and Sumia is the pega pony princess.
Arise, elegant pega pony princess, and ascend the beautifull pie.
See, how she leans her wing upon her Exalted Falchion!
O, that I were a glove upon that Ewalted Falchion,
That I might touch that wing!

Sumia:
O Chrom, Chrom! wherefore art thou Chrom?
What's in a name? That which we call an armpit
By any other name would smell as fluffy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a mighty sword in a delicious pie"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove ecstatic.

Chrom:
Lady, by yonder beautifull pie I swear
That tips all the way down the delicious bard--

Sumia:
O, swear not by the pie, the spoony pie,
That honorably changes in its tantalizing orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise tantalizing.
Sweet, mesmerizing night! A thousand times mesmerizing night!
Parting is such energizing sorrow,
That I shall say mesmerizing night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Chrom:
Sleep dwell upon thy wing, peace in thy Exalted Falchion!
Would I were sleep and peace, so admirably to rest!
savagely will I to my elegant armpit's cell,
Its help to ascend, and my fluffy armpit to tell.

The only way to make it better would have been if pie and bard were inverted.

EDIT : My god... That's just perfect :

The Pega Pony Princess Princess

Chrom was walking through a tantalizing meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a delicious little pega pony princess lying under a tree.

Chrom skipped over to see the dear thing and was ecstatic to find that she was hurt! A bard had pierced her spoony little armpit and she whimpered admirably with the pain.

"My mesmerizing little friend," Chrom said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the bard, as honorably as he could. The pega pony princess cried out and Chrom's heart ached, like a mighty sword in a delicious pie. "You'll be all right," Chrom whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Sumia and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Sumia up in his arms, Chrom carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Chrom nursed Sumia, cleaning her armpit and feeding her Pie-brand pega pony princess chow.

On the eighth night, Sumia climbed into bed with Chrom. She burrowed under the covers and sensually ascended Chrom's Exalted Falchion. It made Chrom giggle and he cuddled close to Sumia, stroking her wing and singing voluptuously to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Chrom hurried home so he could curl up with Sumia. It gave him an energizing feeling whenever Sumia ascended his Exalted Falchion.

Then one night, Sumia looked up at Chrom and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a beautifull princess."

Chrom screamed savagely, he was so surprised. How could a pega pony princess talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Sumia said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Chrom said and kissed Sumia on her wing. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a beautifull princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Sumia," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Chrom said.

"See?" Sumia said and showed Chrom the scar from the bard on her armpit. Then she kissed Chrom and they tumbled all the way down and did a lot of very elegant things, some of them involving a fluffy pegasus.

"I love you," Sumia said when they were done. Chrom clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Sumia had stashed away.

And if Sumia didn't know about Chrom's visits to the pega pony princess sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

Edited July 31, 2013 by TendaSlimeKnight Ikkar

[singularity]

An Exquisite Occurrence

Edgar paced up and down, jiggling his arm. His very good friend, Mary Sue Army, had arranged to meet him here on the pegasus's saddle. "I have something wondrous to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Army was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Edgar expected to see her bounce up, her grand hair streaming behind her and her tragic eyes aglow.

Edgar heard footsteps, but they seemed rather queer for a delicate and intense girl like Mary Sue Army, whose tread was enormous. He turned around and found Cordelia staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Cordelia said swiftly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Edgar had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so quickly. "Mary Sue Army asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Cordelia, his hand began to throb happily.

"Oh," Cordelia said, seriously. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Edgar said and caught Cordelia by her leg. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Cordelia said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, In the middle of the war.

From behind a spear, Mary Sue Army watched with a striking light in her noble eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Edgar/Cordelia". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the pegasus from extinction.

---

let's face it, Mary Sue Army are us, the ones who played the game.

Edited July 31, 2013 by War Cleric

[ZemZem]

*digs through old posts*

-

Yarne/Lucina OTP

Yarne and Lucina held hands and stared into each others' eyes. "Lucina," Yarne started, starting to blush. "You make me feel like...a better Taguel. I'm so glad you chose me out of everyone else in the army to be your lover..."

Stroking his face, Lucina smiled and started to blush herself. "Oh Yarne...compared to the others...well...Inigo's a pervert, Brady's kind of obnoxious, Owain's even more obnoxious, Gerome would rather snuggle with Minerva, and Laurent's too busy with his studies. BUT, you're absolutely amazing...especially after you ripped that mage in half. That was awesome."

Laughing, Yarne stroked his blonde skunk strip. "Haha, yeah...I didn't know I had it in me."

Lucina's smile brightened, her eyes sparkling. Resting her head on his chest, she sighed in content. "I love you, Yarne..." she whispered.

Running a hand through her long blue hair, Yarne closed his eyes and held the female lord close to him. "I love you, too, Lucina..." he whispered back, as happy as any Taguel (well, he's the only one left but shut up) could be.

-

Watching the scene, Vaike thumped Chrom on the back. "Well Chrom, looks like we're in-laws!" he cheered, laughing merrily as he ran off to tell Panne the news.

Chrom watched the scene in dismay. "I'm happy for Lucina and Yarne...but..I don't want to be semi-related to Vaike! NOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, falling to his knees and shaking his fists at the heavens.

[AthenaWyrm]

I'm Dreaming Of A Inigo Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Inigo sat Inigo Inigo, sipping Inigo eggnog.

He looked at the Inigo Inigo hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Inigo had hung it there, just before they looked at each other Inigo and then fell into each other's arms and Inigo each other's Inigo.

If only I hadn't been so Inigo, Inigo thought, pouring a Inigo amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Inigo might not have got so Inigo and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a Inigo tear and held his Inigo in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a Inigo voice lifted Inigo up in song.

I'm dreaming of a Inigo Christmas

Just Inigo Inigo Inigo Inigo Inigo

Inigo ran to the door. It was Inigo, looking Inigo all over with snow.

"I missed you Inigo," Inigo said. "And I wanted to Inigo your Inigo again."

Inigo hugged Inigo and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Inigo said.

"I think so too," Inigo said and they Inigo each other's Inigo until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Inigo Inigo and lived Inigo until Inigo got drunk again.

[Wizard]

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! The first one I made involved Robin slamming a dog which turned into Say'ri...

Anyway... Here is another.

Beautiful Love

Robin finished packing. Ever since Say'ri, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Robin had been yummy.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing slammed him, all was alluring. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a bench to become a luscious egg.

Just then, there was a burning knock at the door. Robin opened it and stood there huskily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his leg.

When Robin came to, Say'ri was holding his mouth and looking lovely. "My love," Say'ri said brilliantly, "I'm sorry for the fantastic shock. I've been shipwrecked on a pretty island for the last ten years, living like a burning fire. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my arm in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Robin could hardly believe his Say'ri had returned. "I will always love you, arm or no arm. Besides, you can cover it up with a lizard."

They embraced beautifully and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was great.

Truly...

[Tamanoir]

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! The first one I made involved Robin slamming a dog which turned into Say'ri...

I had one when Nowi became a perverted princess and did creepy things with Tharja involving a humongous blaster (probably Nowi's).

Edited July 31, 2013 by TendaSlimeKnight Ikkar

[Djing]

I had one when Nowi became a perverted princess and did creepy things with Tharja involving a humongous blaster (probably Nowi's).

Nothing can ever beat Gaius's Tyrannosaurus thighs.

Except maybe Cordelia pulling a girdle out of her loins while Vaike spanks his beef.

[shadowofchaos]

"Really?" Maribelle dried his tears. Maribelle kissed Lon'qu and it was an entirely sticky sensation, like a cantankerous mongoose fondling itself.

They spent the night having entirely sticky sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

I can't... I can't handle this. xD

[Elli]

To Paitently Kiss

Lon'qu and Chereche were celebrating a Pretty roses Valentine's Day together. Lon'qu had cooked a The green leaves dinner and they ate Be at your side by candlelight.

"My darling," Chereche said, stroking Lon'qu's mouth, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Lon'qu. "It is but a Garden bench token of my Clouds love."

Lon'qu opened the box. Inside was a Sun Apple! He gazed at it quite. Then he gazed at Chereche quite. "It's Wide path," Lon'qu said. "Come here and let me Kiss you."

Just then, a Big Pool crone sprang out of hiding and cackled I will be with you forever I promise. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a Small rocks voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Chereche read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other Quitely as the crone cackled some more. Lon'qu's Face began to tremble. Then Chereche shrugged, pulled out a Animal, and hit the crone on her Arm. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Lon'qu said and kissed Chereche Slowly. "This is a Honeybees Valentine's Day!"

They Soon burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they Kissed each other all night long.

I really lol'ed at this haha