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Flan Emblem: Blazing Loins - Poly plays FE7 (COMPLETE)


MRDRHAWK
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Because I don't feel like doing the Persona Emblem run anymore

Welcome, all, as everyone's favorite flan man plays FE7! Watch as Lyn tanks axes with her face, flan sex non-specific jokes are plentiful, Sain kills everything in sight, and Bartre uses a Hand Axe on things he shouldn't, all in the name of love flan bitchin' 90's technology.

Game will be played on LHM/HNM because I don't think I can handle doing an LP of HHM. Also, I make no promises about doing all sidequests. Fucking Pent stealing all my EXP in the damn desert level...

[spoiler=Prologue: Flan & The Dumb Broad]

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Obligatory title screen shot

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FLANMAN AHOY

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This is actually legit aside from Flan.

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YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT THE PROLOGUE IS CALLED

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obv. not

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Then explain that ominous light that threatens to engulf us.

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At least it's original, ya dumb broad. (1)

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ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT, DO NOT STEAL

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But... you... but... ugh.

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Pfft, I have an S rank in swords. These bitches can't even touch me.

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Because no backgrounds are too mainstream.

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LYN YES

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LYN NO

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#brotactics

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DA BATTA

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YA DUMB BROAD (2)

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#brotactics2.0

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She tanked your axe with her face, bruh.

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THWOMP IN THE MAKING

No strength, doe.

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Let's not.

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GOOD MORNING, CRONO

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Or maybe it was that ruffie you slipped into my drink.

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No, ya dumb broad. (3)

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THE SACAEN FEMINIST MOVEMENT, FOLKS.

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You're not gonna do that with only 4 strength.

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I've heard of enough hentai to know where this is going.

PROLOGUE: COMPLETE

Dumb broad count: 3 (Lyn: 3)

Edited by Polydeuces
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Ew, FE7.

I expect Serra to be used, Flan man.

It shall be done.

Kill Nergal with Wallace.

Please.

Fuck that, we Linus version of FFO up in this bitch

Geitz 4 life yo

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Same difficulties I'm playing on now. Good luck with C28, it's kicking my ass to Montana right now (From Ohio). Can I make a request for Guy, Raven and Heath to be used? They're the broest of bros IMO.

Fuck Guy (not even the best Guy I've ever used in a game #Talesbruh), Raven is always used in my runs (GBA HEROES <3) and I'll try and use Heath

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Sorry I'm stalling on this.

CHERPTER 1

Apologies for all the dirty jokes. It's all Sain's fault.

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Flan Ships Lyn/Kent]

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Apprentice my left nut. THIS IS MY THIRD RUN OF FE7 Y'KNOW

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Chapter subtitled: Lyn gets boobs

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THIS COULD HAVE POTENTIAL

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Holy fuck I'm super high, my fireplace is hitting on-

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NEVERMIND IT'S JUST SAIN AND HIS BRO-NESS

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BAMF

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but I like the pervy guy more than you

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I actually misread this as 'poon companion'

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'Horses'? Is that what they call dicks nowadays?

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4/10 pickup line, would've been better from Sain

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And you know this how...?

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Dis mufucka...

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Oh thank god they're gonna save the mighty Flan from the evil Lyn

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smells like rape up in hurr

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See, now this is how you do it. Don't leave them any reward money.

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shut the fuck up and go hide in the corner you scrub

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WELL DUH, YOU'RE MY ONLY COMPETENT RIDER

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bench'd

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CRITICAL SUPAH CRASH

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Strength/10

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SAIN, YA DUMB BROAD. YOU COULD'VE DODGED.

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Somebody's about to get an ass in the axehole.

wait.

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SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN.

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NO NOT THE SHIN LEVEL

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Well, it's not gay in a three-way, so why is it bad?

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I thought I dumped you in the river

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MISERY II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

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Sacaen-style shotgun weddings, folks.

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you dumb broad, they just explained this to you

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And a pony, and a new skateboard, and a dollhouse for my dolly, and...

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...Eh, I ship it.

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So hostages don't count? I see how it is.

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THAT SOUNDS LIKE PLOT STUFF

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"Especially if it means a tag team match, playa!"

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#smootherthanSain

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Does this mean I get to go home now?

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NO

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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DOUBLE POST DUN CURR

[spoiler=Chapter 2: Flan Does Nothing of Importance]

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So we get to fight ghosts?

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Translation: SHE'S A WITCH

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chaptah screen

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Oh boy, now's my chance to escape

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pfft, there's no religion in Sacae

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/Sain

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GLASS LOGIC

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needed to be done

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"First you get the power, then you get the money, then you get the women..."

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Except it wasn't.

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Glass logic 2.0

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WHAT NO WE MUST STEAL IT FIRST

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pfft, fuck that we don't need to go into the houses here

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DAMMIT SAIN

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DAMMIT LYN

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As soon as I can bench you, you're benched

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Strength? I'll take it.

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Not taking any chances with this dumb broad.

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LYN SHALL DODGE-CHOKE THIS POINT.

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OKAY NEVER MIND

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JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

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MY DRILL IS THE DRILL

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THAT SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS

btw, this was a Kent crit

Kent is now un-benched

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Hey, he stole my one line from the prologue!

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FUCK THE WEAPON TRIANGLE

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back on the bench for you, scrub-dick

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Except for, y'know, this one leg that I lost.

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But can we steal it?

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quick Lyn grab it and run

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BITCHIN' 2000'S TECHNOLOGY

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Does that mean the sword's gonna eat her?

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So that means we don't have to steal it?

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Lyn, for fuck's sake, it's just a katana. Not like it's that cool or anything.

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And now she's useful.

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Killing Edge says otherwise

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And then they had hot, passionate sex. While Sain watched.

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ANTA BAKA!

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(insert dick joke here)

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Does this mean we can leave now?

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MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT?!"

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Because bandits are sooooooooooooo threatening.

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Remember kids: to leave no bruises, use poison or oranges.

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SOON.

This run sucks all my levels suck myahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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