So today in school I was made fun of for being a virgin.

[IceBrand]

Most people in my high school have already lost their virginity or are planning too. I told my friends that I would rather wait for the right women than to have sex with some random chick, but they said I would waste my life doing that. So what should I do?

[cyron]

you have the right idea, continue to do what you've been doing

[Junkhead]

Can't believe someone can honestly be as ignorant to do that.

"At least I'm not a filthy non-virgin like you guys :smug:"

But in a more...serious note. I think this is something incredibly silly to make fun of. One's virginity is something one should prize and hold on to and lose it to a very important person, and not go on dirtying yourself with any random person like a filthy animal.

Edited October 17, 2013 by café

[Junk]

so apparently i am expected to lose my virginity in 3 or 4 years, jeeze

[dondon151]

well if you look on the bright side

invariably some of them will have STIs or be teen parents, so you could make fun of them for that! (except you really shouldn't.)

But in a more...serious note. I think this is something incredibly silly to make fun of. One's virginity is something one should prize and hold on to and lose it to a very important person, and not go on dirtying yourself with any random person like a filthy animal.

this is such a quaint mode of thinking. virginity is not something that should be prized, or even valued at all. cultures that prize virginity also tend to objectify women and encourage backwards, irrational practices.

look, if it happens, then let it happen, and be careful about it. if it doesn't happen, then don't worry too much about it. being a stud doesn't generally get you that much farther in life than not being a stud.

Edited October 17, 2013 by dondon151

[shadowofchaos]

Honestly... urgh.

Ignore them. Seriously.

My aunt was a Math teacher at a high school... and someone saying "they can't attend detention because they have to take care of their daughter" was like... what.

"How old are you?"

"Fourteen"

...

[Fruity Insanity]

That's stupid. Those kids have no idea what they're talking about.

You're fifteen.

You don't need to have sex at that age.

Just wait for the right person; it's the better thing to do.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Fruity Insanity

[Guest meibum]

If you're getting made fun of for it, then maybe don't bring it up.

Problem avoided.

[Refa]

Most people in my high school have already lost their virginity or are planning too.

I find the former hard to believe, the latter being incredibly vague because planning too lose your virginity is like saying "I am attracted to (insert gender here)".

[IceBrand]

I find the former hard to believe, the latter being incredibly vague because planning too lose your virginity is like saying "I am attracted to (insert gender here)".

Believe me or not when I say most have been laid( mainly juniors and seniors). For the second one, they're more or less doing it on a certain day.

[Junkhead]

this is such a quaint mode of thinking. virginity is not something that should be prized, or even valued at all. cultures that prize virginity also tend to objectify women and encourage backwards, irrational practices.

Actually...yeah, I don't diagree with what you say. I feel like taking back the whole "should be prized" thing. However, Istill think it's something ignorant to make fun of.

Also, what are those kind of practices?

[Orpheon]

I know it's tough when a group of people you're comfortable with says things like that, but know that there's nothing wrong with still being a virgin. Today's youth is too obsessed, in my opinion, with getting laid, which is a shame.

You're awesome. Keep being you; you're doing it right.

[Fruity Insanity]

this is such a quaint mode of thinking. virginity is not something that should be prized, or even valued at all. cultures that prize virginity also tend to objectify women and encourage backwards, irrational practices.

What are you trying to do, start an argument? That's, like, totally not true. WE ARE WHERE WE ARE *BECAUSE* OF THOSE CULTURES!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH WE ADVANCED BECAUSE OF HINDU, MUSLIM, AND CHRISTIAN INFLUENCE ON THE WORLD!!!

I'm taking world history this year, and seriously, they were important. Rational thinking as we know it today are around thanks to them. And that's just part of it.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Fruity Insanity

[Junkhead]

How is he going to start an arguement when I sort of agreed that my own thinking is...um, not practical? Old-fashioned, yeah. There's also not a very good reason for others not to do it. Things like "love" and stuff are very hard nowadays. I don't really encourage others to follow what I believe in.

But anyway, what is he talking about there? About the practices in other cultures that use women as objects...

Edited October 17, 2013 by café

[Fruity Insanity]

How is he going to start an arguement when I sort of agreed that my own thinking is...um, not practical? Old-fashioned, yeah. There's also not a very good reason for others not to do it. Things like "love" and stuff are very hard nowadays. I don't really encourage others to follow what I believe in.

But anyway, what is he talking about there? About the practices in other cultures that use women as objects...

No, not the first part.

The "backward culture" part.

It's not true.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Fruity Insanity

[Nobody]

Hire a prostitute.

Problem solved! =)

I'm just kidding, don't do that

[xguardo]

I don't think it was much better before our generations. Teens' hormones go crazy so naturally they speak and think about sex a lot. Don't really believe evolution has changed things that much in few decades.

In the end it's all about personal goals and values. The older one gets the less all of this means. Class dismissed.

[Silver Lightning]

That's......really not cool.

Making fun of and judging people on the status of their virginity is wrong. You're not really better or worse whether you have or not. Whoever made fun of you is really immature and you shouldn't take it to heart.

Waiting for the right person is IMO the best advice. And you're not alone; there are actually alot more people than you'd expect who actually still have their virginity because they're waiting, don't want to because of pregnancy/STDs, or just don't have need for it yet/at all. My friends know I'm a virgin and respect that decision because I'm both waiting for the right person and just don't really have any reason to go out and lose it at all.

It shouldn't be something to be ashamed about, is my point. Apparently they don't know any better, so ignore them.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Silver Lightning

[dondon151]

Actually...yeah, I don't diagree with what you say. I feel like taking back the whole "should be prized" thing. However, Istill think it's something ignorant to make fun of.

Also, what are those kind of practices?

a culture that mandates abstinence is far less likely to recommend safe sexual practices. look no further than the catholic church for an example of this. people are going to have sex anyway, whether it be vaginal, oral, or anal, and all three modes are capable of transmitting infection. rather than simply expecting people to not have sex (and, presumably, punishing those who do) and simultaneously denying contraceptives for those who inevitably do have sex, it is far more productive to teach them safe sexual practices.

virginity tends to be more highly valued in women than in men. i suppose part of this is that women anatomically possess physical evidence of virginity (the hymen) whereas men do not, and another part of this is simply misogyny that is present in many cultures. one could also argue that the former leads to the latter. anyway, the requirement for a bride to be chaste is correlated with many abhorrent practices, including hymen restoration surgery (not abhorrent per se, but why should such restoration be necessary in the first place?), female circumcision (believed to suppress sexual urges), and even worse forms of female genital mutilation, such as sewing the vagina shut (only to be opened before the woman has intercourse with her future husband). these practices pose health hazards and are highly associated with african and muslim cultures today.

What are you trying to do, start an argument? That's, like, totally not true. WE ARE WHERE WE ARE *BECAUSE* OF THOSE CULTURES!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH WE ADVANCED BECAUSE OF HINDU, MUSLIM, AND CHRISTIAN INFLUENCE ON THE WORLD!!!

I'm taking world history this year, and seriously, they were important. Rational thinking as we know it today are around thanks to them. And that's just part of it.

first of all, i'm not going to dive very far into the anti-religious channel of this argument. i'm merely going to point out that it is not because of hindu, muslim, christian, etc. influence that we are modern cultures, but it is simply a coincidence (and some would argue that it is in spite of that influence that we are modern cultures). if you weren't a muslim in an islamic society, or a christian in a christian society, then too fucking bad, you either were killed or had your rights stripped away. let's not pretend that our ancestors really had a choice in their selection of religious denomination.

secondly, i ask you to take a quick look at the world around you and note the correlation between religiosity and rational thinking in individual cultures. if rational thinking really were such a widespread tradition, then we wouldn't be denying condoms to HIV-infected people or stitching up vaginas.

finally, i reserve the right to designate cultures as "backwards" even if they were among the premier cultures however many centuries ago. we have moved on from that time period. if they haven't, then they're "backwards."

Edited October 17, 2013 by dondon151

[Hawk King]

Teenagers usually suck in bed anyway.

Youre probably not ready for sex yet. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. I kinda wish I didn't wait so long because sex is the best thing ever.

Dont lose it just to be able to say you did. But dont wait for that "perfect" moment either. If you want to save it for marriage go for it, but if that doesnt matter to you, just do it. If you have the opportunity to do it with someone that you wont look back on and shudder, go for it. Sex is awesome.

[Fruity Insanity]

first of all, i'm not going to dive very far into the anti-religious channel of this argument. i'm merely going to point out that it is not because of hindu, muslim, christian, etc. influence that we are modern cultures, but it is simply a coincidence (and some would argue that it is in spite of that influence that we are modern cultures). if you weren't a muslim in an islamic society, or a christian in a christian society, then too fucking bad, you either were killed or had your rights stripped away. let's not pretend that our ancestors really had a choice in their selection of religious denomination.

secondly, i ask you to take a quick look at the world around you and note the correlation between religiosity and rational thinking in individual cultures. if rational thinking really were such a widespread tradition, then we wouldn't be denying condoms to HIV-infected people in africa or stitching up vaginas.

No, that's where you're wrong. The setting the religions provided allowed rational thinking to develop. It's not a coincidence, it's cause-and-effect. And the second part, again, wrong. Religious persecution came later. When Islam and Christianity first came around, they were very open about it. Christians didn't forcefully convert. Neither did Jews. Or Hindus. Or Buddhists. The caliphates in the Islamic Empire allowed religious freedom. Yes, there was an extra tax non-Muslims paid (which is the reason why many people converted, too), but that was about it. The religions didn't really change, society's mentality did. They became less tolerant.

As for the second part, humans are not necessarily the most rational beings. They can think rationally. But thoughts do not necessarily determine actions. Economy can also be a major factor.

Religions are not mere coincidences that had no effect on civilization. They were a major part in the development of social structure and development. In fact, it's silly to think that they had no effect. Humanity didn't skip rungs. It stepped on one to get to the next.

I'm learning about this in-depth right now, so I guess it's fun to take my recently attained knowledge for a jog, lol.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Fruity Insanity

[Junkhead]

a culture that mandates abstinence is far less likely to recommend safe sexual practices. look no further than the catholic church for an example of this. people are going to have sex anyway, whether it be vaginal, oral, or anal, and all three modes are capable of transmitting infection. rather than simply expecting people to not have sex (and, presumably, punishing those who do) and simultaneously denying contraceptives for those who inevitably do have sex, it is far more productive to teach them safe sexual practices.

virginity tends to be more highly valued in women than in men. i suppose part of this is that women anatomically possess physical evidence of virginity (the hymen) whereas men do not, and another part of this is simply misogyny that is present in many cultures. one could also argue that the former leads to the latter. anyway, the requirement for a bride to be chaste is correlated with many abhorrent practices, including hymen restoration surgery (not abhorrent per se, but why should such restoration be necessary in the first place?), female circumcision (believed to suppress sexual urges), and even worse forms of female genital mutilation, such as sewing the vagina shut (only to be opened before the woman has intercourse with her future husband). these practices pose health hazards and are highly associated with african and muslim cultures today.

first of all, i'm not going to dive very far into the anti-religious channel of this argument. i'm merely going to point out that it is not because of hindu, muslim, christian, etc. influence that we are modern cultures, but it is simply a coincidence (and some would argue that it is in spite of that influence that we are modern cultures). if you weren't a muslim in an islamic society, or a christian in a christian society, then too fucking bad, you either were killed or had your rights stripped away. let's not pretend that our ancestors really had a choice in their selection of religious denomination.

secondly, i ask you to take a quick look at the world around you and note the correlation between religiosity and rational thinking in individual cultures. if rational thinking really were such a widespread tradition, then we wouldn't be denying condoms to HIV-infected people or stitching up vaginas.

Also the African/Muslim practices of abstinence for women sounds horrible...

Nice write-up.

I kinda wish I didn't wait so long because sex is the best thing ever.

Society today, in a nutshell.

[Zanryu]

Not gonna bother reading the rest of this thread, all I have to say is I was in the same boat as you - was made fun of for being a virgin. I went onto post-secondary, started a course in Auto Mechanics. Now, mechanics are typically known for being jokers and perverts - you can imagine how much shit I caught for not sleeping with my girlfriend. Well, two years into our relationship we finally took that step - and it's not just sex, it's much more. We're closer than we ever were, and we regret nothing. It's not just sex to have sex, it's a bonding experience, something personal that NO ONE else can share. That kind of connection you want to keep - especially if your first is the right one. Even if one day, it ends, at least we had a great experience that no one else can steal from us.

tl;dr

I was there, and I didn't let it get to me. Sex is fun, sex rocks, absolutely - but waiting for the right one makes it that much better. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything, don't let anyone make you feel a fool for being a decent human being. Kudos to you for waiting for the right time - don't know you but I already have an immense amount of respect for you.

[dondon151]

No, that's where you're wrong. The setting the religions provided allowed rational thinking to develop. It's not a coincidence, it's cause-and-effect. And the second part, again, wrong. Religious persecution was a more recent thing. When Islam and Christianity first came around, they were very open about it. The caliphates in the Islamic Empire allowed religious freedom. Yes, there was an extra tax non-Muslims paid, but that was about it. The religions didn't really change, the society did. I learned about that two weeks ago.

take note of the following sentence: "The setting the religions provided allowed rational thinking to develop."

apply it to one of our brilliant non-secular cultures today. clearly this is false. it's in fact quite evident that i can assert the converse, "the setting the religions provided discouraged the development of rational thinking," and provide plenty of justification for it. i don't even have to limit myself to the present day. i can pick a time and location from medieval to pre-renaissance europe. i can pick a time and location from mesopotamia after approximately the 12th century.

i'll continue using islam as an example for a moment. you have progressive muslim thinkers like avicenna, rhazes, and omar khayyam. then you have the ultra-conservative al-ghazali, and after al-ghazali, islam was never quite the same. all you need is to have one dumbass religious literalist come along and pretty much help set your culture on the path to a trainwreck in the modern world.

so how could i be wrong?

and look, you didn't even bother addressing one of my critical points, which was that our ancestors had no choice in their religious denomination. we are extremely blessed to live in a society where many of us can stop for a moment and think, "no, i don't like my religion, maybe i'll try a different one or go atheist" and not suffer social consequences. i don't see many people doing that in older societies, and there are two explanations, one of which is simpler than another (and here i will invoke ockham's razor): either they could see no reason to re-align their religious beliefs (whereas we suddenly do), or there was a very strong reason not to.

Edited October 17, 2013 by dondon151

[Junkhead]

It's just nature running it's course!