Roxas Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 well bust my balls and slip your hand inside my tender parts, it looks like the kingdom's under attack! (this is an rp, btw. the kingdom is the kingdom of Terabria and i am the princess and you guys are my hot, suave guards with short hair and that weird eyebrow cave-in like on taylor lautner that makes me feel wet inside. SO PLAY ALONG) *sound of sixty evil troops marching in* OH NO IT IS THE FERALAXIANS I THOUGHT WE HAD A TRUCE WTF feralaxian leudtanent: haha that's what you thought! BUT WE BERTRAYED YOU! NO WHY ferlaxian davidtennant (the level up of a leudtanent): BECAUSE OF THE..... the broad-shouldered, tan-as-hell, muscular feralazians start fighting back. oh no!!! i say but then i see their commander and omgsh he is the hottest hottie every hotted by hot itself. well okay i say changing my mind ok with this "prove that your a princess or ill kill u" he says "what must i do to prove my princesshood" i ask "only a true princess could suk my dik from all the way over there" i'm all like awwww yeeeee and so i distend my neck like a snake and i have it swerve all the way over there past like sixty trees and around sixty other dferalzixoans leudtanents and viciously bite off his trousers and use my voracious maw to dammit why does every twelve step plan end with "enter in a personal relationship with jesus" this isn't an alcoholic support center this is a missionary project HOW TO LOSE DRUNK: 1. STOP DRUNK 2. JESUS 3. NEVER DRUNK AGAIN 4. YAY FIESTA LOL. You distinguish between alcholic support and missionary work? well of course "alcholic" support can only be done in the name of the church. but alcoholics are a different story. sometimes all they want is just to learn how to stop beating the shit out of their wives True enough (dayenu - hebrew for "it would have been enough", a sign of gratitude from the jews to god). But, that is a very limited view of humanity's potential. It's that kind of thinking that has tied us down. The second greatest teacher instructs his student, filling his head with as much as he can, until his student kills HIM. The greatest teacher, putting his student through such incredible pain, somehow manages to end the lesson with a pat on the back, at least in my view, and moves on to another student - really, from culture to culture, the best teachers tend to do very different things. What is the difference between the first and the second? The best teacher sees in his student more potential than he has himself, and actualizes it. The worst fears his students, and holds them back. The above is a lie. The best teachers are filled with utter uncertainty as to their students. Complete, utter uncertainty. And bare their throats to them. See the edit belowhand? Well, for a time, I made a very strong point of editing each and every one of my posts, assuming there would be proof to see it. Even if there isn't an edit mark - if, in other words, you think it's a complete original - believe me, I still edited it. You're blinded by your cultural meta-narratives. To assume, indeed, that the Judeo-Christian tradition is anything more than the nostrum de la zeitgeist is ridiculous, and would be an outright rebuttal to the countless societal achievements of nations and civilizations that existed beyond the limited, pre-Apostolic and pre-Evangelic scope of the Abrahamic religion. The paradigm shift of the conceptual mindspace has always been adaptive and progressive; indeed, the very reality that there is such a traditionalist malfeasance towards the imposing liberality does nothing but establish a thorough testament of the tradition's meaninglessness in how easy it has been dialectically replaced. The fundamental philosophical base has changed -- and yet our society persists in just as well of care as it has been before, with of course the standard variations subject to the inherent values of a culture in question. slut That's not true. I don't sell my body for money. I give it for free. (Why I'm still a virgin) Garm is the Sacred Twin black axe of Grado. Garm is S-Ranked, meaning a unit must have an S-Rank in axes to use it. Due to the fact that a unit can only one S-Rank, a, say, a Warrior must choose between S-Ranking Bows or S-Ranking Axes. However, I slightly lied. Lyon can S-Rank both Dark Magic and Staves. In Fire Emblem 6: Fuuin no Tsurugi, a unit can S-Rank all possible weapons it can use. Therefore, a FE6 unit, to be specific, a FE6 Paladin, the best of which is Zealot, could use Garm, Audhulma, and Vidofnir. I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. A FE6 unit could not use Fire Emblem 8: The Sacred Stones weapons. However, it can use FE6 weapons. Therefore, it can use the Armads, Durandal, and Malte. However, it can not use all three at once, unless the game has been significantly altered and the Paladin has three arms. But that's slightly off-topic, I digress. We are talking about FE8 because we are on the FE8 board. The possible wielders of Garm are, in order of appearance, Gilliam, Franz, Garcia, Ross, Kyle, Forde, Amelia, Duessel, Gerik, Dozla, Caellach, and Fado. Quite a large portion of FE8's cast can use Garm. However, many of these units can only use axes post-promotion, therefore increasing the difficulty of getting them an S-Rank in axes. It can be done easier, however, if you use the Devil Axe. The Devil Axe gives 8 times as much axe weapon experience as most other axes or most other weapons. However, the Devil Axe is very heavy and very innaccurate. Also, it can backfire and do damage to the user equal to the damage it would've done to the opponent. The Devil Axe is risky but it has a good potential benefit for the user. Garm gives a +5 bonus to Speed. This is good because many of the potential Garm wielders could benefit from the boost. In appearance of order, I mean order of appearance, they are Garcia, Ross, Kyle, Duessel, Dozla, Caellach and Fado. None of them have good Speed. The stereotypical axe user often lacks Speed. A notable exception to this is Dart from Fire Emblem 7: Rekka no Ken. Dart has an impressive Speed stat, so giving Dart the Garm axe would increase his Speed to make it quite high. I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. Please punish me in a kinky way. Back to what I was saying. Dart cannot use Garm, despite the fact that the only weapon type he can use, let alone S-Rank, is axes. Why, you ask? Garm does nto, I mean, not, exist in FE7. However, Basilikos does. Basilikos could be considered an inferior version of Garm. I'm sorry, but I am digressing from the point I am trying to make. Please reprimand me if I do this again. Garm is acquired upon completing Eirika's Chapter 15: Scorched Sand or Ephraim's Chapter 14: Father and Son. Interestingly, the son does not appear during the Chapter. I'm sorry, i, I mean I, slightly lied again. The son, Lyon, appears in conversation scenes before and after the main conflict in Father and Son. However, I am slightly digressing. Upon completion of said Chapter(s), Garm, along with Gleipnir, are added to the main character's inventory. However, something interesting happens when the main character's inventory is full. I am sorry, what happens isn't very interesting. Something truly interesting does happen when the main character's inventory and the Supply convoy is full. In the first instance, you will have to send two of the main character's items to Supply, and you will have to discard two of the main character's items in the latter circumstance. This creates the interesting paradox where the sacred relics of Grado can be simply discarded. This is interesting because such powerful items, two of the eight used to defeat the feared Demon King, are merely thrown away.I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. SMACK MY ASS BABY! DO IT NOW! Only seven of those items can be used against the Demon King. Latona, the Holy Staff of Rausten, cannot be used against the Demon King because it is a staff that heals all of your units except the one who uses it. However, it has little strategic use because getting one of your units to S-Rank Staves is worthless. I'm sorry, I digressed yet again. Please discipline me, Master. 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MRDRHAWK Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 whut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 boooo hiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euklyd Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 (edited) One phrase in particular stood out to me... Lyon can S-Rank both Dark Magic and Staves. FE13 jargon is so great. Edited November 2, 2013 by Euklyd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 those first two quotes were 10/10 in fact that whole post was 10/10 but I aspire to be like the first two quotes ahsduybvaerubviaubrv Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axie Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 that fe8 rant is simply magical taylor lautner is an ugly llama though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 holy shit youu faggots actually cared more about some douchebag speaking about some shitty game more than judas being judas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pull My Devil Trigger Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Wut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 holy shit youu faggots actually cared more about some douchebag speaking about some shitty game more than judas being judas? i dont think these people were around when judas was active Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renne Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 tl;dr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 ferlaxian davidtennant (the level up of a leudtanent): BECAUSE OF THE..... :O "only a true princess could suk my dik from all the way over there"i'm all like awwww yeeeee and so i distend my neck like a snake and i have it swerve all the way over there past like sixty trees and around sixty other dferalzixoans leudtanents and viciously bite off his trousers and use my voracious maw to :O Wow I made it into the post! I can't believe the blinded by cultural meta-narrative got included! I was a part of something better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judas Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I believe that in narrowing your focus to such a specific section of my ouevre you miss a great deal of the overarching artistic narrative of my work. Just because The Legend of the Feralaxians was a best-selling hit doesn't mean you should ignore the wit and literary weight of such thought-provoking tour de forces like Hurt and Heal Africa or that time I spammed chat in a desperate bid to get Nightmare to shed his widely-famed miracle tears so that I could nurse my dying corgi I had adopted back to life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judas Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I attempted to go to sleep but I woke up six times in cold sweats when I realized I had left you guys on a cliffhanger. I just want to let you know that that corgi ended up dying a grueling, agonizingly slow death, but everything turned out okay becaus ehis mangled skeleton has made a lovely chandelier for my sex dungeon. Anyway back to sleep xoxo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 I believe that in narrowing your focus to such a specific section of my ouevre you miss a great deal of the overarching artistic narrative of my work. Just because The Legend of the Feralaxians was a best-selling hit doesn't mean you should ignore the wit and literary weight of such thought-provoking tour de forces like Hurt and Heal Africa or that time I spammed chat in a desperate bid to get Nightmare to shed his widely-famed miracle tears so that I could nurse my dying corgi I had adopted back to life. omg omg omg I'm only a fan of entry-level Judas posts. :( CLEARLY I HAVE A LOT MORE WORK TO DO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 let's bust out that GRIMOIRE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I attempted to go to sleep but I woke up six times in cold sweats when I realized I had left you guys on a cliffhanger. I just want to let you know that that corgi ended up dying a grueling, agonizingly slow death, but everything turned out okay becaus ehis mangled skeleton has made a lovely chandelier for my sex dungeon. Anyway back to sleep xoxo god I love happy endings two stars way up four out of five thumbs abxy/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 I give it two thumbs up and a circle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Only squares like circles Esme It's all about triangles bb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Only squares like circles Esme It's all about triangles bb No it's about octagons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 triangles bb illumiNAUGHTY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 illumiNAUGHTY cyclopropanes so hawt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 The All-Seeing Eye (is watching you masturbate) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) The All-Seeing Eye (is watching you masturbate) So you think you can stone me and "spit in my eye?!?!?!?!??!" Edited November 4, 2013 by SeverIan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxas Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 So you think you can stone me and "spit in my eye?!?!?!?!??!" SO YOU THINK YOU CAN LOVE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIIEEEEEEEEEEEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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