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For random things in regard to By Another

Magical Glace

By Magical Glace
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What to ship?  

9 members have voted

  1. 1. Which ship I've mentioned thus far bothers you most?

    • Roy/Lilina
      0
    • Wolt/Sue
      1
    • Raigh/Sophia
      1
    • Eliwood/Ninian
      0
    • Hector/Lyn
      2
    • Rath/Random Gal
      3
    • Lowen/Rebecca
      0
    • Nils/Nino
      2

  2. 2. Will you murder me if Lugh/Fae is included?

    • YES!
      3
    • It's totally fine Glac. It isn't that creepy.
      5
    • I don't like the idea but I wouldn't kill you for including it.
      1

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Magical Glace Newbie

Magical Glace

Posted
Posted

Eh... I feel very awkward doing this... but I really need some high-level feedback that is from some actual FE fans and not just poor Remi whom I have to beg to review.

Ah, well, I might as well explain. I find it a bit really strange to post multi-chapter fics on a forum, so I think we're all better off with Links (provided later).

Like most of my FE fics, By Another focuses on Elibe's canon I'm not even wholly sure why I focus on Elibe so much. The plot centers on what might have happened if Nergal raised Roy. And Nergal's barely in it right now! He's more important later, though. The plot bunny spiraled out of control since it was origionally a family fic not a romance, haha. Either way, Roy/Lilina is the main pairing, with Wolt/Sue and later Raigh/Sophia as well. Currantly, past-canon pairs in-fic are: Eliwood/Ninian (necessary for it to work), Hector/Lyn (not really necessary but hey whatever, she's the one who Hector will fall for first if he just stood next to Florina and Lyn for 5-ever), Rebecca/Lowen (Just for an excuse to include him), and... Nils/Nino. No, I'm not kidding. Nils/Nino. Shoot me if you will. I don't care who Nino winds up with but this was too perfect for plot.

Ah, well. Here is the link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9691359/1/By-Another

The first 9 chapters, the prologue, and a couple Gaidens are done. You can use the thread for questioning me about plot, giving criticism, or whtever else comes to mind.

Also, remember my usual tendencies. In my mind, tragedy=win. This won't end terribly, but it won't be 100% happy fun time either. I mean, even some of The Story of Roy and (Insert Girl Here)'s crackyness chapters end with an apocalypse.

...That's it, really. I'll post when new chapters are up.

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Sifer Newbie

Sifer

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Posted (edited)

I have seen enough stuff on Deviant Art shipping and well...romance by accident that I am not bothered by any shipping at all.

Although I believe LynxMark because of bias

Edited by sifer
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Magical Glace Newbie

Magical Glace

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I have seen enough stuff on Deviant Art shipping and well...romance by accident that I am not bothered by any shipping at all.

Although I believe LynxMark because of bias

I usually disapprove of shipping the tactician/my unit/avatar since it's vaguely like shipping yourself, and I find that creepy. Honestly, I disapprove of their existence, period. I'd rather have a set in stone character with a set in stone appearence and personality.

That being said, I'm very surprised that Lyn/Hector is getting a lot of disapproval. It's nearly canon (I'd say a tie between it and Lyn/Rath for canonocity). I guess people don't like their constant bickering as much as I thought they did.

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Rapier Rookie

Rapier

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Tragedy = win? Oh, I couldn't agree more. =P Especially after reading Queen of Sorrow and... Well, I can't play RD without remembering it anymore. That said, I'll give your fic a try. The premise of Roy being raised by Nergal sounds interesting to me and I feel like plagiarizing your idea and writting one.

So far, the prologue doesn't make sense to me. What caused the Pherae apocalypse? What happened to Eliwood and why didn't anyone do something about it? It is far too vague and feels like important details were missed (I have a feeling that it was done on purpose, but it feels like an holocaust came from nowhere).

On Chapter 1, we can assume that Zephiel became the villain, but much of the battle with Hector is omitted and brought right to the point. If it were a generic battle I wouldn't point it out, but seeing that you finished off Hector, a main character, with such a vague event, it feels anti-climatic. Also, the events don't make sense for anyone who hasn't played FE7 and FE6 (for example, we know why Hector tried to siege Bern from outside knowledge, and we know why Lycians are in the Nabata desert), since we can only predict what is going on Elibe because we played the games and know the plot.

Also, I've noticed a lot of "tell, don't show" parts.

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Magical Glace Newbie

Magical Glace

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Don't worry, we learn more about what happened in Pherae as the story continues.

Zephiel... honestly isn't important here. Yes, Lilina and co. are fighting him, but beyond that, he doesn't do much.

Hector kind of... just had to die. I'm not too skilled with battle scenes, especially considering I find them very boring when they are too long and dragged out. Thankfully, fighting isn't common in the fic. It is a romance, after all.

Telling and not showing is a very big issue for me. I try to describe things and I am almost never able to go beyond basics.

On a separate note, Chapter 13's up!

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