Parrhesia Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Nergal: Foolish girl! You've been slain once, do you wish to be slain again? Ninian: I don't wish to be slain again. I wish to be with Eliwood and my brother. Nergal: Fool! Do you forget who raised you as his own? The man who was as your father? Ninian: You only did that because you took me and Nils from our mother. Nergal: Dragon of Ice! I shall take your quintessence! Ninian: No, Nergal. For endangering me, my brother, Eliwood, my friends, both worlds...(eye close, a blank line of text, then opened eyes) I'll make sure you're incapable of hurting anyone ever again! Nergal: Bold last words! Face true and utter darkness! This is incredibly melodramatic. This is coming from someone who wrote something heavily (and rightly) criticised for being melodramatic about a year and a half ago, and that was far less so than this. Tone it down and make them sound like real people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kon Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Ah...darn. Can't argue with that. Still, I am adamant in my belief that Nergal isn't Ninian's daddy. I don't care WHAT evidence you've got, I'm not going to be convinced otherwise. It's like recruiting Vaida or killing her. OF COURSE I'm going to kill her. Well, killing Vaida is optional. Whether she survives or not depends on the player so that's fine. Nergal being Ninian's father however is 100% fact whether you like it or not, and denying it isn't going to magically change that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book of Ereshkigal Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) The main fact is, Nils calls Nergal('s voice) an 'old friend', and that familiarity is the reason why Nergal could call -only- Ninian and Nils thought the gate without having dragons, the story doesn't really work if Nergal wasn't their parents. An alternate story could be he got one from Arcadia, but Athos states he never showed up. If Nergal didn't have kids to send through the gate he would have never gone on his quest for power and lost his memories in the first place as well. Edited December 28, 2013 by L95 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Guys, let think and do what I want to. If you don't like it, you don't have to say anything. Parrhesia: Shut up and let me have my fun. It's just a game, I don't need to have everybody sound like modern human beings. Otherwise, there'd be a HUGE amount of swearing and talking about sex. It's not a modern game, if it was, there would probably be gunners in place of archers. And that's why it's dramatic and archaic. L95, Kon, Just stop. Please. This isn't helping anybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Unfortunately, you've come to a discussion board with a few rather questionable ideas, it should be expected for those to be challenged if you vocalise them enough! Whilst Fire Emblem isn't set in modern times, most characters, including the ones you have written for speak in a fairly modern way. As for the original topic, it's been discussed but I can only see it working without the transformation animation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Alright, alright. (Heh, if she was a Fire Dragon, then Elfire could be used to mask the lack of intro.) And if the dragon part falls through, expect a Dancing Sage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Parrhesia: Shut up and let me have my fun. It's just a game, I don't need to have everybody sound like modern human beings. Otherwise, there'd be a HUGE amount of swearing and talking about sex. It's not a modern game, if it was, there would probably be gunners in place of archers. And that's why it's dramatic and archaic. This isn't how you respond to someone who's trying to help you. You may have your own ideas about it, but by posting, you're opening yourself to critique. Please make sure that your response to legitimate suggestions doesn't insult the other person - that's asking for trouble. I intend on applying what he said to my own writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 I took it as an insult. I did not like that. I expressed my distaste in what he was saying. I backed up what I said with examples. To be honest, he's not exactly Captain Friendly to me, either. And I mean, come on, at least I got their characters right. I didn't want them to sound redundant, like "You hurt me and my brother! I'll make you pay!" See, that overused tiny speech doesn't even sound right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elieson Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Ninian, I don't doubt your understanding of the English language (though did you intend to not say "Nils and I"?), but I don't find it really capturing or embracing...it seems forced. As Parrhesia said, try toning it down a little. It reads like an emotional roller coaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 (deep breath) Okay, how should I put it? I want it to be special, and not redundant-sounding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRDRHAWK Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 You could just shut up and make your namesake proud as being a typically quiet girl instead of constantly yammering Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haku Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 On the topic of manaketes, how come no one has inserted Fae's animation into Fe7? I get that the enemy manakete is pretty much impossible to insert because it uses the background, but why not Fae? I think someone told me that its a three part animation, but I don't get what that means :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baldrick Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) @haku; it means it has three parts ;) I guess it's the transforming, the attack and the transform back, and it uses special code that can't be reverse engineered or implemented in FE7. Somebody more experienced can correct me. To me, Ninian sounds too decisive and like a shonen hero, and Nergal sounds too hammy and cheesy. Their story is reasonably tragic, by alluding to it you can do more with less. For example; Nergal: Back again? The others have sufficient power. I have no more use for something as weak as you. Ninian: You don't... Recognise... Nergal: Eh, what are you muttering about? No matter, you will die with the others. Ninian: I will... Finish it... It's what she would have wanted... Edited December 28, 2013 by Baldrick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Oh, that's actually pretty good. I like having Nergal be a bit hammy though. He's an interesting villain. Also, she IS a dragon and he IS looking for dragon quintessence, so I think the hungering for quintessence could be put in there. But you have his character down perfectly. Polydeuces: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. It's kind of my thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixelman Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) Basically what Baldrick said. From what I heard though, you can insert the dragon part, not the manakete part? Someone like Cam could probably confirm this. Also Ninian, Parrhesia was trying to help. He wasn't even being mean, just stating the obvious. EDIT: Why are you saying that to Polydeuces when you said something equally rude? Edited December 28, 2013 by PixelmanFE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 The difference is, he doesn't have to say anything. Since it's my thread, I have to. AND work is getting done on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baldrick Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 It does make sense that Brammimond powering up would boost her quintessence. In that case, make his first line "Back again? How fortunate. Your true power will make me even stronger!" Let's keep things constructive in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Ooh, good call! Since she's going to be recruited in Victory or Death, I think she should have conversations with Sophia and Limstella. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Parrhesia: Shut up and let me have my fun. It's just a game, I don't need to have everybody sound like modern human beings. Otherwise, there'd be a HUGE amount of swearing and talking about sex. It's not a modern game, if it was, there would probably be gunners in place of archers. And that's why it's dramatic and archaic. It's not dramatic and archaic. It's badly-written trash you're brazenly fronting as your 'above-average writing' that you would have tried to force on someone as 'repayment' for scripting something that the game framework cannot actually maintain. You're putting it out there (again, as 'above-average writing') and it very much is not. This is why I quietly mentioned you might want to have put a sample up first, so you wouldn't publically embarrass yourself like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CT075 Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) The difference is, he doesn't have to say anything.what if i choose to say something if i have something to say regarding the quality of your work that you don't particularly like there is, regardless, nothing compelling me to keep silent Edited December 28, 2013 by CT075 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 Guess what, you two. You're both pessimistic jackasses who don't even DESERVE to read my writing. Parrhesia is a COMPLETE jackass, and should be put in his place. CT, you're not as bad, but you're smug and it's driving me crazy. Parrhesia, if I hear ONE more insulting comment from you, I'm taking it up with the moderators. You have no right to be picking away at me in an environment that's supposed to be constructive. I'm done with it. Got it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CT075 Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) Guess what, you two. You're both pessimistic jackasses who don't even DESERVE to read my writing. oooooh that stings how will i ever live with myself at night i don't deserve to read mistress ninian's writing!!! Edited December 29, 2013 by CT075 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I'm guessing this is a bad time to ask if I could Beta test your expansion... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninian Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) CT, leave me alone. Sorry, it's not done yet. Edited December 29, 2013 by Ninian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 CT, leave me alone. Sorry, it's not done yet. Really? If you ever need a person for the job, you can tell me. This is really interesting by the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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