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[MISSION COMPLETE] FE7: The THWOMP Run


burgerkong
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Alright, I've completed up to Chapter 16 in my THWOMP run, so I guess the poll is closed. According to the results:

- My team will consist of Hector, Oswin, Bartre, Dorcas, Lowen, Wallace, Sain, Raven, Heath, and 1-2 of Eliwood, Kent, and Dart

- I will use Canas as my sole healer once he's promoted, with probably some intermittent Priscilla use till then

- Stealing/lockpicking is allowed

- No Athos (T___T)

Expect several uploads tonight, once I'm done trying (and failing) to think of witty comments for my screenshots. I'll probably be putting up another poll later to decide who my last team member should be out of Eliwood, Kent, and Dart!

I'll be doing Ch13x and Ch14 once I'm done class, so expect those up by around 11-11:30 tonight :D

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Here we go, Chapter 13x! This was kind of a shit show due to unit limitations (read: lack of Marcus), but I hope you guys enjoy!

Having played up to Chapter 18 though, I regret picking HHM. While I do enjoy the difficulty at times, the limit on unit numbers really restricts how many units I can use, so some of the more lacklustre thwomps like Dorcas are kind of being shafted due to lack of deployment slots.

So last time we killed BOOOOOL and recruited some non-thwomp dude for his Killing Edge, which is probably the only way Eliwood is getting kills given his level ups so far.

Chapter 13x - Thwomp Tent Get!

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There's more than one?

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The All-Knowing THWOMP

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Because that's pretty much all you're going to be doing from now on

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Not if you're thinking the way I'm thinking

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Now her I wouldn't mind "presenting" myself to, huehuehue~

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Lord Thwomp too stronk, even in wordplay

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Yeah Hector, he might like 8RKO you

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Help, why would we do that

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All the innuendos man

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LORD THWOMP WILL BE KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE LANDS

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I'm pretty sure we're way too slow to be making any sort of getaway

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Why yes, I'm flattered!

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Elithwomp, why you so bad

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THWOMP

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THWOMP

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Random crits is the only way Elithwomp is getting any kills :(

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THWOMP

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And the clusterfuck begins anew

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Hmmm...maybe my screenshot skills aren't as good as I thought

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WHYYYYY

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Elithwomp is making Bartre look good

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At least Elithwomp can clutch dodge when he needs to

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The Anti-Thwomp Level

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ELITHWOMP CAN DOUBLE?!

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Yeah, this village is fucked

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Behold my tactical positioning right here

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NOOO MY GOOOOLD

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ELITHWOMP CAN GET GOOD LEVELS?!

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BARTRE THE BRAVE LET'S GO (hint: he didn't survive)

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In typical Dorcas fashion

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ANTI-THWOMP

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Lord Thwomp is tied for fastest unit with Horsethwomp right now :(

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Dorcas rampage

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Whoops

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We're thwomps goddamnit

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Yet he never actually gives or sells me anything

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You're also faster than half my units despite being a tent

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Lord Thwomp needs no manners

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Shut up, his stats are better than yours

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This wouldn't be a fun game otherwise

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Well, we aren't using half of them, but sure

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Hey, technically I'm the one who's managing the items, he just holds shit :\

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Well if you're into rock-hard pectorals, then we got'em~

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"I've only been programmed with 5 inventory slots"

Next time on FE:THWOMP, we fight the "Laus regulars" and their chump leader, Erik, in an epic showdown! (not really)

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*Boies

thanks for the shoutout though with the CURSE YOU BOOL thing

No problem dude, love your work so of course I'd shout it out. I'll be making other references to other awesome thread I've read when I think they're appropriate :D

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Damn this is late, but I said I would get it out tonight so here it is!

Last chapter, we found a tent that we can hold our stuff in, which is pretty sweet. And we started gaining good levels on everyone not named Hector, which is always appreciated.

On this episode of FE7 THWOMP:

Chapter 14 - Osthwomp's Long Hard Penetrating Lance

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He's so damn droll

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All-Knowing Power-Hungry THWOMP of Laus

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Which seems to really just be Leila

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Given our party, it actually might be a while

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Can't even assassinate a senile old dude properly, I am disappoint Ephidel

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...

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Elithwomp might, but Lord Thwomp never lowers HIS guard

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Well, the fact that you think Erik is smart in the first place...

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Truth and war, what more can you ask for?

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See, Lord Thwomp agrees!

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Can any of our horses even carry you?

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Damn those are some big words

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Why are our two most heavily armored units acting as scouts

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Well, there's 4 soldiers and a knight by our deployment positions, if that counts

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Somehow I doubt that

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.........

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OH NO AN AMBUSH that we can see from the preparations menu

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lol like that's gonna happen, you're so droll merlinus

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Well, you get obsoleted this chapter, so enjoy it while it lasts

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NOOOO A SQUISHY, but that 4k gold tho

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*sniff* Horsethwomp's first ORKO *sniff* I'm so proud

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You look familiar...

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SPEEDTHWOMP BEST THWOMP

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the tinks are music to my ears

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Elithwomp can't double lolArchers yet :(

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Make me proud, Horsethwomp

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GODDAMNIT GET BACK HERE

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Man, we're on a roll

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-___-

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Naw, you really just gotta be a fatass

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It ain't got nothing on HAND AXES and JAVELINS

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All these tinks are like music to my ears

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OSTHWOMP

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all the innuendos (and no thx bro, Osthwomp's got way higher standards than that)

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Yeah, Erik's a chump

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Oh baby I can see the Iron weapons, Hand Axes, and Javelins already...

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LORD THWOMP SMASH PUNY HUMAN

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More than your eye's about to be sore, huehuehue~

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Well, if all Lycian lords are like you and your dad, that's probably why

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THWOMP SMASH, THWOMP LEVEL YEA

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oh no merlinus i'm sorry i SHOULD'VE LISTENED AND LEFT A REAR GUARD

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So let me go on my shopping spree before you die

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Yeah, Merlinus is fucked

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Well, all you're holding right now is a bunch of Iron weapons, so...

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Wow Myrmidon Much Damage

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Fuck it, I'm out

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HORSETHWOMP (if only Speed wasn't your highest stat)

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STOP RUNNING FROM ME

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Ok, I'll keep that in mind when I meet one

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Classic Good Thwomp Bad Thwomp routine, never fails

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Isn't that Hector's brother's job, and precisely why he isn't doing anything to help?

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Lord Thwomp playing the Good Thwomp in the routine this time

And the results are...unexpected

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I'm liking where this is going

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Oh my

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Oh yes

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OH GOD THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF

I never really paid attention to the dialogue too much, but holy crap does this script give me lots of opportunities for these kind of jokes.

And holy crap, Chapter 19 has shitloads of text before the chapter :(

Anyways, enjoy and good night!

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Thanks for the positive responses you guys, <3 all you!

@ ZM and BBM: *foreboding tone* We'll see...

@ Gcubedude: I honestly completely forgot about doing supports until you posted, I had my support triangles are sorted out and everything yet completely forgot about them till now. You'll have to wait until Ch20 to see em :S

Anyways, here's Chapter 15, which is pretty short. Nothing too interesting happened, so I figured I'd rather just cut it short rather than try to comment on boring shit.

On the last episode of FE:THWOMP, Erik's lance stood no chance against the power of THWOMP, and for some reason we decide to sleep in his castle despite urgently needing to find and catch The All-Knowing Power-Hungry Thwomp of Laus, Darin. And our night in Castle Laus has some serious consequences...

Chapter 15: THWOMP Defense

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Man, what a chump

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Lord Thwomp taking the time to get acquainted with Osthwomp's lance~

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This is what happens when Bartre is on lookout duty (and why is Darin's mug showing?)

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Unlike some thwomps we know

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But there's like no Mercenaries on the map, so I should be good

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wait...isn't that Legault's title?

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Why are we trying so hard to defend a castle that isn't even ours?

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Technically, we only have one Knight

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forever alone

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You were meant to be a THWOMP

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OH BABY

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ooh, sounds like my kind of tactics~

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LOL I think I'd have figured that out by now

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wtf is up with Bartre's speed man

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CHOKE ALL THE POINTS

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THWOMP

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HORSETHWOMP

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Man I gotta stop doing this

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Honestly, considering his stats I'm not even mad it's not thwomp

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And the point choking continues

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YOUR ASSHOLE ARMOR STANDS NO CHANCE

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tink tink tink tink tink tink tink, smash smash smash smash smash smash smash, tink tink tink tink tink tink tink

WHAT DOES THE THWOMP SAY

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Osthwomp Thwomp Harder

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OH SHIT SEALEN 4HKOS

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And the Horsethwomp blessage ends

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Wait never mind

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Man Elithwomp too thwomp for these fighters (them having like 20 displayed hit helps)

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ELITHWOMP

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HHM makes thwomping kinda hard

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Elithwomp doubling now, good lord (pun intended)

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DIDN'T NEED THAT SHIT ANYWAYS

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yay

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We kinda murdered them all, I dunno what efficiency you're talking about

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Shameless foreshadowing at it's finest

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Hell, we're gonna need new belts with all our thwomp growths

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Yeah there were like 30 in this map alone

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Wait, why are we STILL defending this castle that isn't ours

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LORD THWOMP SMASH

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Yeah, can't LTC these chapters man

And for all you lovely readers out there, here's a brief unit analysis!

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Lord Thwomp for MVP, +1 Str and +1 Def above average (and +1.5 Spd, but that's not important)

-2.5 Skill below average, but who needs that shit

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Elithwomp, +0.85 Str and +0.9 Def above average

-2.5 Skill below average too, tied w/Lord Thwomp in Skill, true thwomp bros

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Horsethwomp, only really blessed in SPEED by a WHOPPING 3.6 WTF !^#*$!^$!* WHY HORSETHWOMP

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BARTRE 2 SPEED ABOVE AVERAGE WHYYY

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damnit -1.6 in Strength MY THWOMPS AREN'T THWOMPING

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+1.6 Strength, +1 in Defense, -0.8 in Speed, a true thwomp at heart

But my worst unit now that Elithwomp can double :(

WHY CRUEL WORLD

Edited by burgerkong
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@ Elieson: Dorcas is the thwompiest in comparison to his averages, but a slightly thwompy Dorcas is still pretty garbage :(

@ Gcubedude and Eclipse: Well, in a normal playthrough I would be happy, but it's the opposite of the tink tink tink I want for this playthrough.

Anyways, finishing up Chapter 22 now, I'll be posting Chapter 16 later today (SEX PANTHER THWOMP YEA)

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Alright, here you go as promised, Chapter 16. After defending the Laus castle for seemingly no reason, we decide to head to Caelin to help Lyn save Marquess Hausen recruit Sex Panther, whom for the purposes of this run, will be known as:

SEX THWOMP

Let's pray he lives up to his title.

Chapter 16: Sex Thwomp and the Rear Guard

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wtf, we're still here

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WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING FOR 5 DAYS

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Hurrying isn't in my vocabulary

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Potential Thwomp

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There you are you sexy beast~, the thwomp brigade is on its way

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Fast is not thwomp, me no like :(

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I'm pretty sure your HP, Str, and Def growths are the same

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Damnit Hector, stop with those eyes, YOU ALREADY HAVE OSTHWOMP

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I'm pretty sure you weren't "soft", huehuehue~

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A bale of hay doesn't have 14 Str and Def

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Yeah, you can stay over there

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Our newest thwomp addition <3

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Thwomp hopeful, we'll see how he turns out

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IT BURRRNNNNSSS

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WHYYYY CRUEL WORLD

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*sob*

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Wait Makar, what the hell happened to Huey WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HUEY

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Lord Thwomp is well acquainted with this position

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It's not like she's contributing anyways

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of course more speed what else would Bartre get

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Lord Thwomp OHKOs those squishy peg knight filth

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Too graphic for the public audience

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Fuck the weapon triangle

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Oh baby, more Hand Axes and Javelins

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SEX THWOMP TACTICAL RETREAT

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Dat base speed

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Elithwomp redeeming himself from his first 5 craptastic levels

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SEX THWOMP SEXY FIRST LEVEL

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Elithwomp ORKO omg the world is ending

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This shit happens way too often -___-

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I swear this level is contagious

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Never mind

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WHOOSH LORD THWOMP TOO BADASS

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obligatory tink-smash

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damnit horsethwomp

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BARTRE is doubling now, WHAT IS THIS

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I'm not even surprised anymore

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Damnit I forgot about them, REAR GUARD ASSEMBLE

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GO GO REAR GUARD HURRY

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PROTECT DROLL MERCHANT

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS

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damnit they passed

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Why is your Res so high YOU'RE A FRAUD

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FRAUD THWOMP STANDS NO CHANCE AGAINST LORD THWOMP

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As Lord Thwomp, I'm pretty sure I have authority over you

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LORD THWOMP SMASH

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Wow defense, much thwomp

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Oh man my Tactics rank 2gud

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Lord Thwomp just OHKOed him

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Probably dead by the armory

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Yeah, this one. And I'm dirt poor now, but the Hand Axes and Javelins were too hard to resist

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She's never seen someone who can ORKO before

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Yeah, he's not a corpse

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That's what you're doing wrong

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Understatement of the playthrough so far

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THWOMP BROS FOR LIFE

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no it's not, stop talking to me

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Well, you're probably gonna end up on the bench, so...

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IT CERTAINLY IS, YOU SEXY THWOMP YOU~

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Let's pretend I don't

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Ephidel for worst assassin, can't even kill 2 senile old dudes properly

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Pffftt

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I'd enjoy watching her in action too, huehuehue~

On the next episode of FE:THWOMP, we invade the castle, save incompetent Caelin soldiers, recruit Raven onii-chan for our personal thwomp collection. And MAYBE we'll actually gain thwomp levels...please...?

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Wheeeeeeeh. No Flothwomp. MAKEA ME SAD!

lol that Bartre doesnt stop cracking me up!

Flothwomp is an oxymoron imo :(

And yeah, I reminds me of Ward in ZM's Bows-Only FE6 playthrough, except Bartre at least has a 40% Spd growth.

Anyways, I'll get 17 up relatively soon, been busy all of today but I'll start now :P

Edited by burgerkong
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And yeah, I reminds me of Ward in ZM's Bows-Only FE6 playthrough, except Bartre at least has a 40% Spd growth.

Oh man, my Ward was insane in that playthrough, but the run probably wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for him. Your Bartre right now is looking really bro, too, but you have better units than I had.

Keep up the good work!

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Oh man, my Ward was insane in that playthrough, but the run probably wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for him. Your Bartre right now is looking really bro, too, but you have better units than I had.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks man, yeah my units are pretty competent, which definitely helps since this is HHM. That and I'm not that good at this game (which you've no doubt gleaned from the playthrough so far).

But yeah, thanks for the words of encouragement man!

@ Ninian: Sorry to disappoint you, but Dart just couldn't cut it. Came too late and doesn't have supports with any of the other units I'm using, and has too much competition with Bartre, who has higher stats and fulfils pretty much the same role. But I'll see if I can fit him in somehow in a future FE7 playthrough :P

Edited by burgerkong
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