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FE8 Virgin Draft LP: feat. phobia, Poly, and Elieson!


burgerkong
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Having started Chapter 2, I forgot to include the common exception of Vanessa rescuing Ross turn 2 so you don't have to constantly rig dodges for him.

Edited the OP, hopefully phobia was the only one who's done it so far and thus hasn't had any problems (since he drafted Vanessa).

Currently doing Chapter 2 now

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I had to start over, my computer got damaged during a recent storm and I lost all my data.

BUT IM ON CHAPTER 2 AND STILL GOING SO SWEET

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Update time!

[spoiler=Pro-fucking-Logue]

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Evil Liquid Tide Laundry Detergent, washing my mankind. I want my money back

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Bliiiinded by the Light

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They look positively fabulous as jewelry

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Yep. You read it. Grado threw rocks. At the darkness.

and won.

Demon King my ass. more like Demon Stink

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Guards monitored the darkness for centuries. They will not be forgotten.

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Looks like Australia...only, this must be before Ex-Cons took it over.

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BUT SUDDENLY, ALL THE FLASHLIGHTS QUIT WORKING AND THAT WOULDN'T SPELL GOOD NEWS FOR OUR TO-BE HEROES! WHAT EVER SHALL THEY DO?!!

Oh wait, getting ahead of myself.

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Lucky Rocks. This is the problem with Aussies

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WHY AUSTRALIA!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!???!

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No. He's a General.

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Wtf a Ranger

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Ahhh, ok I'll accept that.

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I....I think this is correct?

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Stalwart and General go together. He sure isn't dressed like one though.

Though

Tiaras are Fabulous

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All I can think of when I read Carcino is Manrika Run

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More proof that Aussies worshipping Holy Pebbles is justified in this time period

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Did he fucking write it down? He can't talk. 20 seconds ago they just called him silent ffs.

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Plot Developmennnnnnt

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The country just flung itself at Renais, and the momentum flung its military officers all over the castle. Pro war tactics would follow

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I bear arms

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DAMNIT

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So calm, why!

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Oh yea your son has vanished and his three minions won't be able to help us out

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Perhaps...not rely on a 4 man squad to represent the majority of our reinforcements?

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BUT HOW WILL THEY TAKE OFF THEIR OTHER ARM IF THEY TAKE THE FIRST ONE OFF?!

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It's faaaaab daddy~!

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Marry her, give her children to raise and show her what it's like to be a woman!

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So...Everyone, just run. I'll chill here. Not a bad idea right?

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So poetic. Who actually says Mustn't?

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Oh my

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OH MY

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Back off, greasy haired cum dumpster

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Wait. I'm blinking. How can I be dead? Is Seth a Zombie?

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Oh. right. You should try washing your hair and face, then maybe you could see more clearly.

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You poked his horse. Once. Fuck you!

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Are you an idiot?! SETH'S HORSEBIRD HAD ITS WINGS CLIPPED YEARS AGO

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It's ok. We know you enjoyed it

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It's love at first pop

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Who are we supposed to meet there again? Fado probably just died...Tana?

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SO CLOSE, JUST ONE TURN AWAY!

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Yea. I'll just press the A button a few times and...

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Oh. Good Idea. Take this Raper

p.edit Rapier wtf am I thinking

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It's ok...actually...why don't you take care of them by yourself.

Prologue - 2/2

Standard 2-turn because so ez. Do I really need to show the recaps? +1 Str/Spd/Luk because that's just how it should always be. I totally forgot to get screencaps of the actual battles and stuff.

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT	LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Eirika	02.45	16	5	8	10	6	3	1
Edited by Elieson
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I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD KLOK, I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD

[spoiler=Chapter 1 on a bun]

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First, this.

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I caught the fighter dying from the neck, down. How cool is that

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All dem stats that I care about. This is magical! Gonna call you Twirika

Oh god, the pony references. Twirika Sparkle here we go.

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Moved Sethicles here. I forgot why though.

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SEE THAT 666! Applefranz took him out! (this is too easy)

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Rush to the boss and equip Rapier, than use your UNICORN OF VULNERARICAL LIGHT or something

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Franz for an extra kill really quick. I wanted to shuffle Gilliam around, ok! DEAL WITH IT

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This guy just hardcore crithax'd. I'm pretty intimidated by him

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But, in a hilarious display of showmanship, Twirika misses her first swing

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I KNOW, HOW DID I MISS THE FIRST TIME???

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All that Str. I like where this is going

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Really quick before seizing, Applefranz lets me down

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5 turns. One reinforcement is left because Applefranz can't pay his rent yet.

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Are you thinking

what i'm thinking

?

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We don't fucking know. Nice to see you too, bitch

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All thanks to my Dick-On-A-Horse Seth

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Dude no shit.

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WOAH I AM GLAD MY SON IS OUT OF THE ROOM

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kinky. Is tana getting in on this?

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Yep. I'll take all the weapons you want to share. Wait...

Where's the Killing Edges? The Javelins? WHERE ARE THE ARMOURSLAYERS???

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Sure they do. Everyone loves the mute kid. Good thing this isn't high school in the USA

Chapter 1 - 5/7

EZ 5 turn because Franz was able to participate in actual combat. Hilarious crit on the boss that was completely unnecessary.

TWIRIKA IS BORN, APPLEFRANZ IS LEVEL 2!

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	04.46	16	7	9	11	7	4	1
Applefranz	02.46	21	7	5	7	2	7	1
Rossity		-
Princess Arturia-
Fordershy	-
Amelie Pie	-
Duesseloo	-
Innes		-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

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Its surprisingly easy to refer to my units as ponies, and typing Applefranz is neat because my phone's autocorrect thinks that it's a word for some reason

Also chapters 3 and 4 are coming shortly, just getting a snack.

And I'm halfway through 5, though my 6 turn clear is looking hard to replicate (right now I hafta rig a 7% crit on a Fighter with Applefranz!Slim Lance...yea, lol)

Edited by Elieson
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is it too early to just quit

WHY WOULD YOU QUIT, YOU HAVE DA BOULDER

But seriously you have Vanessa, you always stand a chance LOL

And you'll get third by default if Poly doesn't finish ;)

Edited by burgerkong
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Alternately: I take over Phobia's spot. . .but then you have to deal with my awful sense of LP.

If he actually wants to then I'm cool with that, but I'm hoping he's joking since it's only chapter 2 :(

Finished my 2000 word essay on marijuana legalization, posting Chapter 2 log now

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I'm trying not to focus on the plot so much since it's been done to death and I'm too lazy to come up with jokes this time around, and also since I'm taking a couple of tries per chapter AT LEAST. And this is in the beginning, I'm already dreading stuff like Jehanna and the desert :(

But anyways, here's CHAPTER 2, starring THE HERO OF MAGVEL, WOLVERINE

Chapter 2: HERO OF MAGVEL (NPC MODE) - 6/13

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Yeah I'm sure you're sorry

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Wow thanks, 2 undrafted units

At least one is sexy and the other can fly and rescue Ross...

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HERO OF MAGVEL

And no, it's not the scrub on the left

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I honestly forgot about this exception until I got to this point LOL

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NPC Wolverine contributing more than Seth and Franz ever will

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Turn 3, BEST TACTICAL FORMATION EVAR

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It honestly took me 5 tries before I realised that I needed Eirika to visit the Red Gem village to stop the mountain-spawning brigands from going after it

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I'M SO GOOD

trial and error best method

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RNG PLZZZ

At least she didn't die

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WOLVERINE PUTTING IN DA WORK

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No healer until Pent 2.0, better get used to this

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OH BABY

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thank the exception otherwise I'd have to rig dodges for your scrub-ass son

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GARCIA THE GREAT

I like it, alliteration all powerful

Honestly though I have way too many names for him now

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Well, now you can fight for this chick lord WITH A FACE (though probably uncaring)

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ANGST BACKSTORY ACTIVATE

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WHY ARE FLASHBACKS IN SEPIA

Character Analysis (CH2)

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Not bad.

STILL A DAMN SQUISHY

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THE HERO HAS ARRIVED

Edited by burgerkong
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SKITTLES RETURN!!!!

[spoiler=Chapter 2: I should really be sleeping!]

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Woah, Pressing Select makes the Minimap vanish. WTH MAN

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King Hayden is a miserable selfish chump, but he created Pinkie Pinnes, so I'll forgive him.

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YAY TWO PEOPLE TO HOLD MY CRAP IN STORAGE IN CASE I HAVE SURPLUS

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You mean, seeing your homeland fall behind you and having your sexy mandick get stabbed wasn't traumatizing enough?
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Seth does everything for you

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wait a minute.

I GOT IT

Yes. Leave the planning to Queen Chrysethalis.

I'm a genius! Moulder agrees!

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RESCUE HELPLESS CHILDREN AND BRING THEM TO ME! Even Moudler's like "dude, quit brown nosing"

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Villages don't grow on trees, you know.

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Rossity proves himself to be a computer


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WHAT DOES THAT EVEN SOUND LIKE?!

SERIOUSLY, SAY THAT OUT LOUD.

UNNNN-G!

TRY NOT TALKING FOR A WHILE AND GET SOME HELP

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SEE, EVEN ZEGARA AGREES!

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Yes, Vanessoarin. So serious that I must use the powers of an amended rule to use you

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Child: Stolen. Check

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Wait, is his name really Cutthroat?
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Programmed Crithax for the win, BUT DARE USE ZEGARA AND COMMIT A SIN

YEAAAAAHHHHHHHH

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Rossity. Ross for short. I'll stick with Rossity.

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Like you could handle yourself out there, you bleeding sack of placenta expulsion

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Twirika, always speaking sense into the panicked and confused

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Him? Who's HIM?

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AND NOW I'M OFF, SO LATER I'LL SEE YA

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This kid, all hope and no brains. He should loosen that headthing. What even is it? Was he lobotomized, and that's holding his recently sliced scalp on his head?
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Wait, Applefranz can visit people. Sweet. Twirika, Rossity, you two take point.
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I'm wearing armor and not old or stupid...so, thank you miss.

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OH YEA IT'S FINALLY APPLEBUCK SEASON
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Zegara commits himself to his self-aligned glory, opting to aid the winning side.

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Rossity nails a lucky break!

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While...Applefranz continues socializing

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Completely unnecessary, I wanted Rossity to nab this kill, but eh

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MOAR STR AT LEVEL 5! TWIRIKA, I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN EGGHEAD

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Looks like he's boned

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Not a bad level. Speed helps her use that ungodly heavy Steel Sword Though, she got hit. (I actually wanted it)

Turns out, the AI will attack you instead of a village charge, if able to, on this chapter, so I intentionally retreated to let Bone counter me

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Twirika eats her sack of Vulnerapples, just in case.

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Complicated trade sequence ahead

:Applefranz opens the Supply to take an elixir and deposit his crap. Also, Twirika is only holding the Steel Sword and Rapier, so he gives her his Iron Sword
:Then checks the Armoury for better weaponry, like an Iron Sword to replace his
:THEN Supply-organizes his gear so he's holding the sword
:THEN ENDS THE TURN ON THE STORE

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And Rossity flees with his tail between his legs

With this, the bandits suicided into Twirika, because her flee is slightly lower than Applefranz's, or something. I dunno, it let me nail the sweet sweet 5 turn clear on EP

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Eh, it's what I do

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Suddenly, does homework. The Great Zegarcia. General of Renais.

He's a loser chump who forgot to promote and lost levels with age

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all my feels tho

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Rossity grew a pair. Now, he's with me.

The Elements of Harmony are gathering, one by one!

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The mighty Bazba. I've been calling him Babza for years. I guess he's not that intimidating, now is he
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ME MAN YOU WOMAN ME STRONG YOU KITCHEN

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Or....I'll let you interpret this however you'd like



Chapter 2 - 5/12

OMG Pressing L on the map screen switches locations, and pressing Select removes the Magvel Minimap from the screen. HOLY SHIT

Playing with the funny AI on turn 5 meant that I could lure Bone back towards Twirika, and that the injured reinforcement banditos would, for some reason, suicide on the bleeding Twirika instead of a full-health Applefranz.

Also, Ross got that one kill and uhh...that's it. Suddenly, I am concerned for Rossity's chances at gaining experience. But, I am happy with 5 turning this and getting both of the [valuable] items with Applefranz.

Oh yea. I bought an Iron Axe (by accident) and a Javelin and a Slim Lance and an Iron Sword...because, why not, I have a Red Gem to burn.

Completed Chapter Stats

Fuck it I forgot to stats

Just look at the levelups on the screencaps

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Thankfully, this chapter is fairly straightforward, only took me a couple of tries.
BTW if anyone notices any turns I could have saved or EXP I could have optimized, please let me know. It's not easy given the limited screenshots though


Chapter 3: FOR BRACELETS AND JEWELLRY (6/19)
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out of context, this seems incredibly stupid considering our country is getting wrecked
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wait this archer story sounds familiar
*cough*Rebecca*cough*
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Does that mean the mercenary and thief can't stick their swords in me?
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GENERIC ARCHER STATSCREEN
but yeah, seriously, this is why I never use you in casual
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you can help contribute to breaking walls tho
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sexay
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critkillsteal
EXP should've been for Wolverine, but way too lazy to redo
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skipped a few turns, since my strategy basically consisted of fullmoving Eirika towards the throne every turn while Generic Archer 3 and Wolverine got EXP
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"mighty Bazba" does not contain alliteration a la Batta THE BEAST
nor do the gods fear your peerless swordplay 0/10
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saying your name twice doesn't make you live any longer
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SEXAY
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SETH WANTS, SETH GETS
unless he wants to be drafted
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what a coincidence
there's no way that will pop up as a major plot point later on
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what a hoar


Current Progress - 19 turns
Prologue - 2 turns (2)
Chapter 1 - 5 turns (7)
Chapter 2 - 6 turns (13)
Chapter 3 - 6 turns (19)
Character Analysis
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Best combat unit right now
10 Strength pretty godly, so I'm happy
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DA HERO OF MAGVEL
Hasn't levelled yet
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Haiku on Archers, by burgerkong:
Archers are shitty
Bowlock is a steaming pile
Those bases are trash

Edited by burgerkong
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what no i wasn't serious

Where is poly though?

also I'm way too lazy to do that whole chapter analysis thing

Edited by phobia
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Incoming like 7 chapters update. Gotta find out he best way to kill Tirado because I fucked up Applefranz and can't Promote him yet because he's lv8

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Incoming like 7 chapters update. Gotta find out he best way to kill Tirado because I fucked up Applefranz and can't Promote him yet because he's lv8

woah srsly?

I swear most drafts I've seen have him hogging like all the EXP. I guess you need Artur to promote relatively early for Warp? Bishop does come with C staves on promotion tho

Eirika with Rapier is probably your best bet unless I'm missing something

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what no i wasn't serious

Where is poly though?

also I'm way too lazy to do that whole chapter analysis thing

Ok, just making sure

Dunno where Poly is, but at this rate you're guaranteed 3rd. If he doesn't post in a month or so I'll ask someone else to inherit his position, though given his team idk if it'll happen :P

And don't worry about it, I'm just doing it for kicks since I'm OCD like that

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And Chapter 4 away!


Chapter 4 - BRAIINNNNS (7/26)
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This seems incredibly lame even with context
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Did you just seriously say that
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Well, considering that there are giant floating eyeballs right there I WOULD GUESS NOT
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MOAR DEFENSE
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TURN 1 FORMATION GO
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omg omg omg GENERIC ARCHER ORKO WTF
wow mogalls suck
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Strength and Speed are all I need
man i'm so clever
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insert unnecessary cameo here
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ALL OF THE 8
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And ALL OF THE UNNECESSARY CRITS
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WTF
ARE YOU SERIOUS
BARTRE WHYYYYYYYYYY
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THWOMP LEVEL GOOO
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THWOMPPPP
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I'll take it
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more unnecessary crit
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Brilliant observation
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Are you saying normal men would lose to these pieces of crap
Magvel is full of scrub pussies
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She is pretty foul...

Current Progress - 26 turns

Prologue - 2 turns (2)
Chapter 1 - 5 turns (7)
Chapter 2 - 6 turns (13)
Chapter 3 - 6 turns (19)
Chapter 4 - 7 turns (26)
Character Analysis
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Pretty solid, the only one who can kill those pesky Knight bosses reasonably quick
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WHY IS YOUR SPEED YOUR HIGHEST STAR ARGHH HFWUTWQOFSHUGTWR
Bartre pls
eovWY5g.png
Still a generic archer
Can ORKO floating eyeballs apparently
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Ok, just making sure

Dunno where Poly is, but at this rate you're guaranteed 3rd. If he doesn't post in a month or so I'll ask someone else to inherit his position, though given his team idk if it'll happen :P

And don't worry about it, I'm just doing it for kicks since I'm OCD like that

Still wouldn't mind subbing in. If there's one thing I can do, it's make the rest of you look good. :P:

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[spoiler=Chapter 3: Elements of Harmony Units! MUCH GAR]

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Look at all these Vulnerapples. It's like I struck the jackpot at the Valero up the street

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Cant spell funds without FUN

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Only because Queen Chrysethalis wants to save the world and be THE ONE TRUE HERO

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Bazba steals mountains. WAY SCARIER THAN BATTA THE BEAST OR GLASS THE SWORDSMAN

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His clothes aren't ripped and he probably doesn't smell that bad...so I'm not with you on this one

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Try tuning into ABC at midnight. It's like the only fucking show that's on

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Can't you tell by our glitzy armour? We're not just a mercenary troop. We're Fabulous!

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You're still little

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BUT WE DON'T WEAR BOWS WE THROW THEM

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Naw, Princess Twirika will protect you

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Such loot very save-for-later

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Sweet, another green unit that can distract the poor enemy AI!

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Look at that hit. Hit by a 29. SO WEAK

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Twirika, you disappoint Canterenais

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Such Hit very Hit

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Such hit very miss!

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Even Rossity is doing something!

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HIDE YOUR BULGING BICEPS UNDER A SEQUINED DRESS, QUICK!

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I don't even know how he did this one (it kills the thief btw)

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Shwiggidy Shw-

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No. Bad Rossity. Bad

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HE IMPRESSES EVEN MORE!

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THE HUSTLING HOOVES OF TWIRIKA SPARKLE ARE HARD TO MATCH WITH THE EYES ALONE

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Owch. Worth it though

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YAY SPEED THAT'S OK

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Twirika: Like I even care

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Yea screw you and you big nose

screw you and your stupid half dozen scars

and screw you and your oh-so-menacing pink and purple leotard

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That's my girl!

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tWINrika can barely squeeze into her armour with all this muscle goin' on

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Applefranz manages to actually get some experience in this chapter.

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Rossity, the hero of this show.

GAINS RES BECAUSE IT'S FA-BU-RES!

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Oh, yea. One chump with an axe chilled in the treasure room. Oh well

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Stuff it Shining Colmor

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Yea, but you didn't. You almost got your frilly little rat tail handed to you

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He can like, fix toilets, unclog drains, and handle all of your construction related needs~

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Because....ahh...all those dead ponies laying around Canterenais...really want to be avenged...when they're already dead...

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Yea, what he said! How come creepy old fart, greasy mcgee, and corporal grumpy get the swag and we get the drag. That shit's jank, yo

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I talk using metaphors so I must be eeeevilllll

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Because I'm as complex as a pebble.

You greasy haired assclown

You flaming sphinkter pimplelicking emo shitbird

You're a fucking asspistol and I hate you

Chapter 3 - 7/19

Rossity and Applefranz (Hand Axe + Javelin) are strong enough to destroy the

first wall exactly.

A bit of restarting when THE BOSS HIT ME WITH A 23%! Oh yea, and a couple

retries because I sped through and didn't take out the Wall with proper

weaponry. Hurpaderp.

WHY IS ROSSITY SO SHITITY

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	08.69	19	9	10	13	11	4	2
Applefranz	03.99	22	7	5	8	3	7	1
Rossity		05.42	17	6	3	5	11	4	1
Princess Arturia-
Fordershy	-
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

Edited by Elieson
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Still wouldn't mind subbing in. If there's one thing I can do, it's make the rest of you look good. :P:

Not me :3

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Eaz3wWu.png

Applefranz manages to actually get some experience in this chapter.

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Rossity, the hero of this show.

GAINS RES BECAUSE IT'S FA-BU-RES!

LOL THAT PUN TOO GOOD

stealing that someday

I'm definitely surprised Franz is getting so little EXP, thought he would be ballin' already

Edited by burgerkong
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