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FE8 Virgin Draft LP: feat. phobia, Poly, and Elieson!


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[spoiler=Chapter 4: The Walking Dumb]vrlN93B.png

And the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Ponies!

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I know! Trees! Awesome!

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They're uhh...kinda pixely...blobs?

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That floating eyeball doesn't look like a human, Twirika. C'mon

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Princess Artia is not pleased

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Translation:

How could magic pebbles have failed to keep moldy zombies from skipping about Canterenais?

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Geez just say the book and leave the boring stuff to the Support Log that I don't care about

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Princess Luta is prepared to DOUBLE THE FUN!

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Why, I'm Princess Artia, young one

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Check out the balls on those brainless backscratchers

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Translation:

Hey

Floating Eyeball Bukakke things

Go fuck yourselves

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Forced Crithax are by far the best Crithax

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Oh yea, the formation

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I take it back. Unforced Crithax are the best crithax. You don't mess with the Princess del Sol

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Twirika watched Klok's Manrika run obviously. Much approved

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Wait, What? She knows what they are and the only other one what these stumbling piles of herpes infested dickstaplers are?

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Constantly improving the strength of my outfits is priority number one!

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Oh hey Applefranz did something again. Whah, ah almost forgot I had drafted ya

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Carrying those books without Spike is hardcore workout material

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Meanwhile, in the land of Rossity-can't-gain-an-ounce-of-muscle-mass ever!

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Cool, speed!

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Rossity hangs on by the thread of his dress...

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And ahh...ugh

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At least the lord almighty doesn't dissappoint!

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Oh Shit did Rossity double something?

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All I truly care about, my magical princessy

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OH MY GOD ANOTHER STRENGTH LEVELUP

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Dear Princess Artia. I completed this battle in 7 turns. I got crappy levelups for my friends, but I tried my best. I learned that if I work really hard and have the minerals to plow through the battles, I can get decent turncounts.

Yours truly, Twirika Sparkle

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That's because we am impervious to such spells of demonic origin, sister.

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We would, but sister, please. You were not chosen by the Drafter. Please quell thy rage and stay by my side to offer backup in case we need it.

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It's gonna take more than flimsy crafted zombies to take down our ragtag bunch of misfits!

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Crud, I need to reapply my deodorant. BRB lady

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[Zombies vs Rossity]

Chapter 4 - 7/26

Hello Artia! Yay my future Warpbot!

Rossity did great. Twirika got hit a bunch. Applefranz ate all the apples, and

Slim Lanced like a bro.

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	10.69	20	11	11	13	12	4	2
Applefranz	04.39	23	7	5	9	3	8	1
Rossity		09.12	20	7	3	6	12	5	2
Princess Artia	04.35	19	8	7	9	2	2	7
Fordershy	-
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

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[spoiler=Chapter 5: I could" ve gotten a Secret Book but got exp instead]
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They stocked up on liquid Tide over the past 3 years apparently

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Go hit it up, Diamond Tijoshua

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Quick, go hit on it it!

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Musta been too slow.

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BLOOD IS NOT COMMON CURRENCY YOU EARLY ONSET MALE PATTERN BALDNESS JACKAPPLE

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Luta? Yea she's ri-- oh...ok bye

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Nobody messes with Big Macintosha

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Then...tell your boss that you have job requirements, duh!

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You know, he's actually got a decent speed stat for an Armour

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Formation. Ok. Got it

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Rush with Twirika. Rossity rescues, Applefranz drops. Simple enough, right?

BUT OH WAIT THIS JAWLESS JOCKSTRAP WANTS TO RUMBLE

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Woah Rossity doubles a living creature?

With an axe that weights him down?

This is Hard mode right?

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Ahhh...work dem hooves, Twi

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This screenshot was fabulous~~~

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OH MY GOD I REDID THIS ELEVEN TIMES

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Oh dang, level 10. And he gains a decent level! Time to chill

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Such stress, but recruiting Diamond Tijoshua, and having him rescue Big Macintasha himself, while on the forest tile, is completely within the rules, so it...eh, helped.

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Artia doesn't fail. ever.
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Rossity managed to get me some loot. Not that useful here, but I'm sure I'll need it eventually!

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Your levels are trying me, Twi

On second thought, grind that avo stat

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Applefranz is level 5. I've got a long way to go

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TRI-CRITHAX-RIKA SPARKLE YEA 95 HIT WITH WTD ON HARD MODE THIS IS HILARIOUS

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Woah now, this forum is PG-13 isn't it?

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WOAH WHY ARE YOU OK WITH THIS

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The emporer himself? He sounds pretty badass now...maybe I underestimated Vigarde

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I take that back. The emporer was obviously lobotomized in the past month.



Chapter 5 - 5/31

I totally forgot that Rossity could rescue Twirika, so he did on Turn 1, and

Franz TakeDropped her up a position. This made all the difference in plowing

through.

Recruited Diamond Tijoshua, who rescued Big Macintasha, and the enemies were

like "screw that dude he's got a crit sword or some shit" and they all

attacked Twirika INSTEAD OF INJURED APPLEFRANZ WTF?

AI on the last turn bit me in the butt, as an Archer that I left alone

attacked Rossity while he visited the Armourslayer village, but fortunately,

AI programmed the Axes, then Merc, then Boss, to all act before the Archer,

giving Rossity the easy out of Survival.

Also, Lol Twirika getting a completely needless Crit on Saar, when she'd have

2HKO'd him anyway. Very efficient, my dear pony.

PIRATE ROSSITY, DON YOUR GAY APPARREL

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	12.95	21	11	11	15	13	4	2
Applefranz	05.22	23	8	5	10	3	8	2
Rossity		10.--	21	8	3	7	12	6	2
Princess Artia	05.63	19	9	8	9	3	2	7
Fordershy	-
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

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whoever has the most fun wins imo

Yeah, for sure, just go for what you find fun man

I'm just having fun trying to think of strats to get as low as I can. I have no idea what to do once Warp comes in in the later chapters though, so expect suckage by then :D

Wolverine becoming BARTRE 2.0 WITH THAT SPEED is gonna be sad, especially since I drafted him in remembrance of Dorcas who gained no Speed in like 8 levels :(

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[spoiler=Chapter 5x: The Ephraimbow Dash Dash!]KTBTjIV.png

Ephrainbow Dash doesn't care about your statistical upper hand

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Tirado looks like he came out of Minecraft with his weird block shaped head

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Why isn't Diskyled keeping track of our gear? Everypony knows that he is the responsible one here

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OUR WEAPONS ARE ALL AT FULL USE AND WE DON'T EAT FOOD SO IT'S OK BOSS

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But where's the fun in not charging enemy castles with a handful of units!?

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I'm just amazed that all your troops are already thrown in random positions around Renvall

Look at those two soldiers on the stairs. What are they doing, playing with their slinky collection? Seriously

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Took like 5 turns to get him this level. No complaints!

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SUCH PLACEMENT

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Fordershy doesn't want to impose, but she could use a little extra speed, being the speedy pony and all

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CUTTING IT CLOSE DASH

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Speed is ok. Where's the rest of your stats son?

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Oh dang, his HP is lower than I thought it was gonna be

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WOO THE GRIND IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE

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Securing an 8 turn that I got tired of cutting down any further than that

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I know, THAT. WAS. AWESOME!

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Dash too smart

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Cool we took over this castle now let's ditch this castle.

logic

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I WISH I WAS SURROUNDED BY CUTE LITTLE CRITTERS TOO

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It's almost like...they knew that the four of us would not only lay seige to a random nearby castle, but that we would take it, killing about two dozen of their men in the doing. That's pretty suspicious...

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Ok, well if that's really the case...C'mon ponies, let's blow this popsicle stand!

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Oh fuck 5 druids against my cumulative 6 Res. This is far from fabulous

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Why thank you

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I like long walks on the beach, eating jelly beans and trying to rape your sister. You're more than welcome to join~

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Yea...about that...my bronies and I would like our house back please

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Dude we reallllly can't handle this right now.

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6354.Rash.jpg_2D00_610x0.jpg_2D00_500x40

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Unless you've got Scrabble. I loooooove Scrabble

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There's only 5 of them. I think I miiiiiight be able to do it

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For you see, unfortunately for you, I'm more than just fabulous Awesome

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Elements of Harmony, Unite!

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FRIENDSHIP

Rainbow_Dash_and_Fluttershy_hoof-bump_S0



Chapter 5x - 8/39

Because it's gay as flicking Esme's chocolate salty balls to get a 7 turn with only one of the two cavs

Also, hitting that boss reliably with Orson who has mid60s at best is a pain in my keister
NO STATS BECAUSE I DONT CARE RIGHT NOW, THE SCREENSHOTS HANDLE IT WELL ENOUGH, FORDERSHY IS DOING NICELY

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[spoiler=Chapter 6: Hurpaderpa Fog]
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Why would she want to hide her feelings? That's half of what drove her on this quest to begin with. The other half being her stupid magic pebble bracelet
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IT'S BEEN HOSTILITY FOR WEEKS, EVEN THE NARRATOR IS BEHIND ON THE DETAILS
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I thought Grado was like the most populated region in Magvel

OH WAIT

They're now like, throwing their armies and initiating drafts organized by smelly old magic casting creepy pastors

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It's easy to be tracked because ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW THE TRAIL OF DEAD SOLDIERS AND ZOMBIE PILES

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You have ascertained the importance of establishing regular sleep habits, have you not?

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Lol. This dude looks like Minecraft and Jay leno had a baby that grew up raised by underground mole people

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Wait what, who didn't Twirika and co kill?
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NO ONE SAYS THAT
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Because it's mindblowing to assume that Canterenais has even one single competent soldier in their ranks.

And we found him

And he is alive

Damn

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He can barely handle keeping his eyes out from his cloak. I'd be just a liiiiiittle skeptical

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Yea ok
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UNLESS THEY RAMCHARGE ME AT FULL SPEED, BUT IN THE FOG, THEY'D NEVER DO THAT
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whaaa?

SHE HAS THE BRACELET THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE TO COMPLETE YOUR MISSION

WHY IS IT UNIMPORTANT THAT YOU MAKE SURE IT GETS DONE?!?
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Even Novala's confused at this crappy logic.
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For once I agree with a villian
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Is...there something in my teeth?
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We could just run back the way we came though
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YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION, YOU PEDOPHAELIC BLOCKHEAD
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Nahhhhh
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Ah!
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Nopony believes you. You know that, right?
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I really wouldn't have a hard time believing that an entire nation that has been tailing Ephraimbow couldn't kill him
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I like how Crysethalis is just like "You really shouldn't give this mook your bracelet." and Twirika is like "Yes I should" and he replies with "There's a super good reason you shouldn't give it to him" and she's like ""What?" and he's all "Well, I mean I can't tell you, just trust me on it".

Obviously the Chin knows what it's for. Why can't he just tell Twirika now?

BY THE POWERS OF PLOT CONVENIENCE, I JUST CAN'T SAY

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Or....we just have common sense
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THIS

IS
SPARTA
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Stand still! Stare at me idly!
HAHAHAHA!

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No, sweetie. Some random assortment of royalty from the next country over will save us, I just know it. They'll kill the man eating 18-wheeler sized mountain spiders before they kill that mean blockhead who summoned them.

Spoilers, I didn't kill the spiders
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Let's start small, like with general piracy and protein bars
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MOAR MUSKLE
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Princess Artia never lets me down
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Wait why did he attack me with the iron axe again?
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AppleDODGE

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Applefranz gains decent stats! Actually, his speed isn't looking too bad
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I like this one~
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Yay 5k!
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It's a magic bracelet that is part of a two-piece key, which opens a secret door under a chair in your dad's amazing castle back in our destroyed homeland which houses one of five even more magical chunks of rock that supposedly act like another kind of key that locks away a mystic strangely named demon king made entirely of dark, which in no way could have escaped three years ago.

You believe me...Right....?
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Then let's go rescue Dash!



Chapter 6 - 5/44

Pre-battle, I bought a Steel Axe (because Rossity needs it bad), a Lightning (3 left on my first one), and a Steel Lance (because Applefranz is terrible right now and maybe it'll help).

Also the positively fabulous Rossity is now sporting the most attractive in striped muscle shirts and dual axes, as a hip and stunning Pirate!

SKIPPED THE ANTITOXIN HOUSE BECAUSE LAME CHEESE IS WEAK FOR SAUCE ALSO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET THE HALBERD BECAUSE THE AI WANTED TO TRY TO HIT ARTUR WITH AN IRON AXE THANKS CHUMP!

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	14.62	23	12	13	16	15	6	2
Applefranz	06.16	24	8	6	11	3	9	2
Rossity	(AHARR)	01.57	23	10	3	8	12	7	2
Princess Artia	06.73	20	10	9	10	3	3	8
Fordershy	06.??	26	8	10	8	8	9	3
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

Edited by Elieson
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Enjoying reading these, it's so eclectic to read one chapter by one of you and then the next by another considering that you have such different styles in LP humor.

Poly better stop being lazy and start doing stuff or I'd recommend forcesubbing eclipse in for him.

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[spoiler=Chapter 7: Apples are for grinding, not for saucing: OR : Pirates. Are. Fabulous]
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Ephraimbow Dash is nobody's prisoner

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Even though it's just a rumor that he's a prisoner in the first place...

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NO. It's only surrounded by one lake! Even the Narrator doesn't understand 4th grade geography. Fuckkkkk

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Well then, who's prepared to dazzle our enemies into submission?

Because I AMMMM

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You derp, you mean "I seriously hope my brother is inside that particular castle"

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The bridge has 2 fucking archers on it. Stop bitching about getting your hooves dirty and just charge the bridge

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LIKE I WASN'T GONNA DEPLOY THE ELEMENT OF HONESTY, SERIOUSLY?

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Such bravery, rescuing crush!Ephraimbow Dash

Such comradery, helping Diskyle when he's obviously worthless to our cause

Such OTP, Applefranz and Fordershy, total bronies.

Ok, you have my respect

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YEA! Our muscles will take them by surprise, and when we're done with them, they'll be WISHING that they were as Fab as we are!
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Because now is not the time to bathe yourself, fruit-for-brains

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There's...nothing for you to steal for me in this chapter sorry. Man I'd love to have that energy ring though, but rules is rules

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And your services are always appreciated, Princess.

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Macho is so in this season. Twirika, you sly trendsetter

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Sadly, magic isn't in right now, but it's always important to be dodgy

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Applefranz, you're making me proud!

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This seriously happened on my first try. I wasn't expecting it!

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So trendy!

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Ohh, and some swag!

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Once again, YOU HOPE he's in the castle.

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Hey, hang on a minute...



Chapter 7 - 5/49

Waterwalk Rossity made all the difference, as he always does for me. Artia and Twirika backed up Hand Axe Rossity, as the trio charged the main line.

Applefranz worked on grinding exp, for that delicious Knight crest. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to nail a 4 turn because the Steel Sword makes it impossibly hard for Halberd!Rossity to land a hit (11%...yea I'm not grinding RNGs for that piece of stinky dog doodoo) SO, I plunked my beloved Princess in range of his Javelin, so he'd Lightning back, and then well...the rest is history.

MANY VULNERAPPLES WERE USED!!

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	15.60	24	13	14	16	16	6	2
Applefranz	08.04	25	9	6	13	3	11	3
Rossity		02.69	24	11	4	8	12	7	3
Princess Artia	07.40	20	10	10	11	3	3	9
Fordershy	06.??	26	8	10	8	8	9	3
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

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OH MY GOD 7 TURNING CHAPTER 8 WAS ABSOLUTE MADNESS I HAVE LITERALLY DONE THINGS I'VE NEVER DONE AS A DRAFTER BEFORE

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[spoiler=Fuck Screens, All You Get Are Unit Stats ATM (Up to Chapter 6)]

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fucking blessed to shit

I am proud woman

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Started off gaining a bunch of speed, then... well, didn't gain more speed. sadface

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Since lolTurncounts are in play for me, I burned a few C5 turns in the arena for Lute. So far, so good.

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basically vanilla Josh still

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Also Ephraim is gonna suck already I can tell

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[spoiler=Chapter 8 - ADMIRAL AKBAR, WHAT" S GOING ON?!?!]

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I KNEW IT!

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[iT'S A TRAP]

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Queen Chrysethalis is not impressed

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Evil Sexy Man Queen 2 SMRT 4 U

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Every time I see this scene, I think

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Such Sad Very Feels

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I GUESS THE JIG IS UP! If only it weren't for you meddling ponies!

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Block Head is Block Smart

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NO, YOU WILL NEVER GET MY BRACELET

He did not just say that

  • guuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl it' s on
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  • Woah he finally didn't gain Mag. I'm in shock. SHOCK
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  • FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK RESTART
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Rossity just wants to learn how to Crit. Needs moar manbeef

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Artia is godmazing, as always

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Even Fordershy is looking nifty. Probably gonna give Fordershy Murray's cute Knight Crest first

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Twirika MORE LIKE MANRIKA

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I LITERALLY HAD TO CONVOY ALL OF TWIRIKA'S WEAPONRY SO SHE COULD DODGE WHILE NOT FACING WTD I'VE NEVER HAD TO DO SOMETHING SO RIDICULOUS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

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Artia is going to be a supreme goddess of the sun in no time.

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Meanwhile, Rossity is looking positively fabulous

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Even Ephraimbow Dash wants to join the fun. ALL THIS RES IS SO. TOTALLY. AWESOME!

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My name is Twirika Sparkle, and I am done giving fucks!

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This scene makes me feel bad for Tirado. He was a good man, even if he illegally escaped from the minecraftiverse

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AAAAAND kinda disappointing level. Durability is Dooderific tho

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Post-bosskill grinding at its finest, Ladies and Gentlecolts!

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Meh

meh

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I kindly respect your efforts, but you see, even faceless soldiers like you must perish before the holy light of my rising sun

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MUSCLESHY

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AND THERE'S THE 7 TURN

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Chrysethalis is NOT A GENERAL! WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE ALL SUFFERING FROM BLINDNESS

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LIES, LIES. Well, not the second part

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That Orson Pig loves his waifu? That's so 8 years ahead

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Myrrhpy Hooves stumbles in with a cameo appearance

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CERTAINLY IT'S NOT AFTER MY DERPINESS

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NOPE, NOT EVIL I BET

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Lol. Takes over castle then leaves. Again. This Brony...

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Her eyes are red. Like my hair. Weirrddddddddd

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Oh yea, wasn't someone looking for somebody with Indigo Hair, like Lute?

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Myrrhpy and Twi are passing out. EPHRAIMBOW STOP BEING BORING AND LET'S GO KICK SOME ASS

Chapter 8 - 7/56

Defeating Minecraft Leno isn't for everybody

Maddening strats including:

Rescuedrop chains that could place Twi casually trot -into- the Knight room on turn 2

Having Twirika tank the Knight room herself by putting all of her equipment into the Convoy, so she wouldn't have WTD Avoid cuts, and copious use of Vulnerapples. This was the hardest challenge yet. Fortunately, Twirika had enough fabulous muscle to ORKO Tirado with a Rapier Crit, and I didn't have to RNG at all for it to occur.

Ubertraining E.Dash and Forde on pretty much everything on the bottom corner

On the less-of-a-head-seizure note, while Applefranz caaan't quite promote, Fordershy can, so my lovely little artsypony can join the big ranks of full-fledged Paladin-hood.

Completed Chapter Stats
UNIT		LV.EX	HP	ST	SK	SP	LU	DE	RE
Twirika Sparkle	17.66	24	14	15	17	16	7	3
Applefranz	09.86	26	10	7	13	4	11	3
Rossity		04.46	25	12	5	9	15	8	3
Princess Artia	09.96	21	12	10	12	3	3	11
Fordershy	10.14	28	10	11	10	8	9	4
Big Melia	-
Duesseloo	-
Pinkie Pinnes	-
Tethy Belle	-
Myrrhpy Hooves	-

Ephraimbow Dash	-	NOT POSTING UNTIL HE JOINS THE PARTY
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[spoiler=My Little Flashback]

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I'm often speechless around you, dear brother

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and about that time you and him uhh...

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GUYS?

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Hurry up will ya!

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Incestuous threesomes don't happen by themselves!

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WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THIS, TWI?

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Yea dude, this was your idea anyway

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F*ck em, then at least say thank you

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This...explains the entire plot of the game

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See! More evidence!

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I'm Sure that Father MacGregor will be happy with your "Prayer"

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Ephraimbow Dash is Duesseloo's top student? What kind of world is this?!

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intelligence isn't Dash's strong suit, as we all know

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Me wanna fight. My sis can handle all the busywork.

See, I'm good to women

Seeeeee????

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EVEN MORE EVIDENCE, THIS IS WHY LYON IS CONFUSED AND EVIL

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So excited!

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She wants in.

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Like, really bad. No clopping in this thread though, folks.

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Read his dialogue in Pinkie Pie's voice. It makes him literally the most entertaining character in the game

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HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THIS HOURS AGO?!?

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Selling Myrrhpy like a slave, and she just wants her Dragoncupcake...poor little girl

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AN EYEBALL AND A ROCK? HOW THE HECK WILL WE WIN NOW?

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Duesseloo...I Gotta get him on me team. Ponies, assemble!

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Well guarded, obviously.

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Even the bad guys are like "Dude, these pebbles are magic? Wtf are these good guys on?"

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And she's stuck with a Cro-magnon like yourself for a partner. Poor Apple Belena
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Let's split up, gang!

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Dash, charge the fucking king of evil

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I gave my only two living soldiers to your sister...you'll have to ignore the other faceless soldiers that are chilling at Valni

There were only like 8 anyway

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SO MANY BITS

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Dash wants Twi safe.

CAN FORDERSHY PULL THROUGH?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON

FIRE EMBLEM: SAY CREDS TONES

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again I don't care about TCs

I just forgot about LP stuff and mostly just wanted to catch up for now

Uh. . .this is a draft, y'know. . .

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Uh. . .this is a draft, y'know. . .

We're not overly taking it seriously - I mean, yeah Elie's doing TCs, but the main goal is fun for all.

I actually mostly updated to make sure that you guys knew I wasn't not doing this.

(also I hate Chapter 6 because too many fucking enemies)

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We're not overly taking it seriously - I mean, yeah Elie's doing TCs, but the main goal is fun for all.

Burgermeister is doing TCs too.

And, I'm having loads of fun with TCs and Ponies and whatnot. If I had any skills with hacking, I'd recolor the sprites to make them more appropriate for this

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Please tell me that I, the most inactive person ever, am not the only one progressing in this event-of-all-events draft

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