Rehab Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 You could pick worse things to be heated about imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) You seem extremely heated about this question Having to conform to someone else's fucking needs is bullshit and i have every right to be heated about it. When it comes to sexual orientation, attraction, and relationships, why on earth should anyone have to be told what they are supposed to want? Edited May 25, 2014 by Loki Laufeyson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Sage Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I feel like if I do have to put labels on me I'd be demisexual (hetero version). I have never been romantically or sexually attracted to people who aren't already friends with me for some time and having really gotten to know them and trust them. I wouldn't even have sex with Chris Hemsworth, as gorgeous as that man is, and I feel a bit of disconnect between how I feel and how lots of other people who like Chris feel. And furthermore, it has always been a male friend, and with the amount of great women in my life, if I was attracted to women, I'd know. I also have never had sexual attraction forming before I become romantically attracted to the person in question, either. I also feel like I can spend my life single if I don't find a partner and it'd be just as fulfilling as if I do have one. Not a big deal to me. 99% of the time I don't really have the urges that most people seem to have. I do appreciate pretty people, though. While I also prefer looking at dudes, I can appreciate a gorgeous woman aesthetically as well. Especially if they have killer biceps. So...you're basically like most people. Edited May 25, 2014 by Black Frost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 She did say "if I had to put labels on me." And "never had sexual attraction forming before romantic attraction" might not be the most uncommon set of preferences, but I'd doubt it's a majority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rohesia Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Honestly I love how with so much going on in the world, a lot of people would rather be telling everyone else who to fall in love with. (ironically enough, most people I've met who are phobic often preach "love and peace." Pfft.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 PSA: Things to stay away from when discussing something super-personal like sexuality - bad generalizations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) So...you're basically like most people. I don't know man a lot of people I've met do have the whole "wow this person is really hot if they would consent (and I didn't have other qualms whatever they may be) I'd sleep with them" thing which I don't think it's wrong, but I just can't connect on a personal level because I don't experience that at all so sometimes it just feels kinda weird to me, not like the whole "eww sex" way but rather just "I don't get it" I kinda go by hetero IRL just because it makes my life easier and I can pass since people mistake my aesthetic appreciation of the muscular figure for something else but when I came across demi one day I was like huh this works better than straight up hetero, but not labeling is entirely fine too, it's not a big deal to me personally, and I respect that it may be a big deal to other people, whatever floats everyone's boats, really I don't know how old are you or what level of experience you have with things but where I am people are pretty open about this kind of thing so But not everyone is open with this type of thing and is okay too, they don't have to disclose anything personal and that's why it may seem that way, people around here are just more open with what they like and that's okay too Edited May 25, 2014 by Thor Odinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 So it's one thing to not be entirely sure what you're into, but when someone says without a doubt what they're attracted to you should take their word for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Yes What a person is attracted to is their business and if they want to disclose it, that's entirely up to them As you are not them you have no idea how they feel so You have the right to label yourself and only yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) A lot of people say they can appreciate peoples beauty even if they're not physically attracted to the person but I would say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you're not attracted to the person you wouldn't think they are attractive. So is it more like you know what some generally popular things are for people who are physically attracted to said person? Edited May 25, 2014 by Fluorspar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) Not exactly For example, I'm an artist I think that person is pretty and would make a good draw and would be nice to look at I don't have any desire to do anything else with the person other than just "hey you look nice" and look at them really that's about it Edited May 25, 2014 by Thor Odinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I can understand thinking someone as pretty, but thinking of someone as actually physically attractive without being attracted to them yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Well I dunno then you'll have to find someone who actually gets physical attraction to tell you Like if I tried hard enough I can gauge by society's extremely narrow standards of beauty I guess but that's like, not me? I just like looking at pretty people by my own aesthetic judgements Like I guess I think Chris Hemsworth (for example) is nice to look at and I guess other people might find him nice to look at too and other people might also find Chris things other than just nice to look that may or may not stem from him being very nice to look at at but I'm not them and I don't know how they think so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I've been told "gosh stop acting like you can't tell (person I'm not attracted to) is hot" and I really genuinely can't tell but they seem to insist that i just don't tell people so they don't think i'm secretly attracted to said person/gender. Edited May 25, 2014 by Fluorspar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) Well I guess you can say if they're pretty or not at least I kinda just use hot synonymous with pretty at times because it's a shorter word but if you really can't tell if they're attractive or not the fault is not on you generally if they're pretty though they may be attractive to at least some other people Edited May 25, 2014 by Thor Odinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 It seems to end up being either they look pretty, no comment, or they do not look pretty, but hot is another realm I am not a part of. For what I am attracted to, its hard to even tell what I like there. Someone things I know I dislike, but it's hard to choose specific qualities I do like. It ends up being a more case to case yes or no type thing. If that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I get that, while aesthetically I know what I like (long hair on men, muscles on everyone), out of the dudes I liked the only similarity I could even think of was that they were my friend for at least a pretty good time so I don't think I have particulars either. None of them looked like Chris Hemsworth either i should stop using him as an example god Edited May 25, 2014 by Thor Odinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moira Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) Ooh gosh I'm being really ambiguous aren't I? But we should probably go back on track. It doesn't surprise me that people will think these things. I still don't really understand why people think that other people are just confused about their sexuality when they're confident they're not, but I've come to expect it from some people. Edited May 25, 2014 by Fluorspar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Because some people are ignorant I guess? I don't even know if that's the best word for it but oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Lumi, you use Hemsworth as an example cuz he fits your personal idea of male beauty. I can understand thinking someone as pretty, but thinking of someone as actually physically attractive without being attracted to them yourself. Oh sure this is a thing. Like Travis Fimmel is pretty objectively slammin'. However, im kinda not into him in that way? To again, use Chris Hemsworth as an example, hes another type i would say is very physically attractive but doesnt exactly get me into <heavy breathing> mode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intergalacticoh Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 I think it's bizarre that people don't accept/understand bisexuality. Frankly, it's strange that sexuality in general is even such a big deal to begin with. It's not like every single gay person wants to have sex with everybody of their same gender, or a bisexual person always wants to have sex with everyone all the time - that's really abnormal. I don't know where those assumptions came from, or if there really are people that believe stupid shit like that. The majority of people out there are normal human beings that have normal sexual cravings and other, normal stuff going on in their lives that has nothing to do with sex, like school, and hobbies, and families and pets. Crazy, right? And for those who think it's a choice - let's be honest, nobody is consciously making a choice to be attracted to certain genders. That's as absurd as someone being like "I'll choose to like bananas today instead of pineapples" or "Today I'll choose to enjoy the smell of freshly mowed grass." Biological instincts and senses don't come with on/off mechanisms. Ask yourself if you ever "chose" to be attracted to men or women. No? Yeah. Honestly, it's really, really strange to me that so many people have trouble understanding such basic things. My mentality is that nobody should be giving so many fucks about trivial things like other people's sexualities, and rather just enjoy their own lives - regardless of whomever or whatever they are attracted to or their neighbors are attracted to. There's so much good in life to enjoy instead of foaming about someone else's sexuality. No offense directed at any specific group/person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeithri Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) One reaction I hear is common (I've received it myself): "Well, have you done anything sexual with both men and women?" If the answer is no: "Then how can you know you're bi?" That confuses me because you don't have to do that kind of thing to know you're straight or gay. At least, not that I know of. When someone says that next time, just reply with "You don't need to have sex to know that you love someone", that's my favorite reply I can admit that when people claim to me that they're asexual, I'll just roll my eyes at them. This isn't out of ignorance but more out of "Everyone whose ever told me that have only said it to make them look special", that and all I've met have been bloody liars, only using it as an excuse to not have people hit on them. Hell, I bet I'm more asexual than what most of them ever been. But my annoyance of that aside, I do know what being asexual entails and if someone is that, then that is perfectly fine. I just wish people would stop lying about it. When I was young, I often heard people saying jokingly how they wished they were bi because then they always had a 50/50 of having sex with someone due to having a larger playing field. But personally, I've never been faced with the whole "That doesn't exist" or any kind of prejudice from people because I happen to not "pick one side". I usually say that I'm Bi because that's easier than to explain to people that I'm Omnisexual which means that I don't care a single thing about what your gender is as long as I like you and you like me back. Edited July 22, 2014 by Zeithri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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