Am I the only one that gets their games taken away?

[Original Alear]

My mom told me that she spanked me once when I was little and my misbehavior lessened significantly afterwards, but that's an anecdote so prone to subjective error that it probably doesn't count for much.

[Chiki]

yeah, i guess the only moral way to discipline a child is to explain to him in a logical manner why what he did was wrong, and make him promise that he'll never do it again. it's guaranteed to be effective, because children are dumb and don't know how to get what they want.

the sarcasm is intended. i'm not opposed to spanking, but physical abuse of pretty much any other kind is not something that i would condone.

First of all, just because I'm against physical punishment doesn't mean I'm against discipline overall (and it doesn't follow that, from me saying that entertainment is optional, that I also believe that punishment concerning taking away entertainment should not be used). Both of those are huge non sequiturs. Doesn't follow from the premises. There are plenty of other ways to punish someone without hurting them physically: for example, not allowing them to use some of their possessions for some time.

What's funny about the first paragraph of your post is that, actually, you can educate your child without disciplining them at all until a certain age. The only reason people do it so often is because they aren't aware of the developments of psychology. All parents need to do is learn a little bit of psychology, and what reinforcement is.

http://esciencenews.com/articles/2008/09/25/from.12.years.onward.you.learn.differently

Eight-year-old children have a radically different learning strategy from twelve-year-olds and adults. Eight-year-olds learn primarily from positive feedback ('Well done!'), whereas negative feedback ('Got it wrong this time') scarcely causes any alarm bells to ring.

'From the literature, it appears that young children respond better to reward than to punishment.' She can also imagine how this comes about: 'The information that you have not done something well is more complicated than the information that you have done something well. Learning from

mistakes is more complex than carrying on in the same way as before. You have to ask yourself what precisely went wrong and how it was possible.

http://www.nospank.net/gershoff.pdf

There is little research evidence that physical punishment improves children's behavior in the long term. In contrast, there is substantial research evidence that physical punishment puts children at risk for negative outcomes, including increased aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems and physical injury

Research has found that children who are spanked by their parents are at sev en times greater risk of being sev erely assaulted (such as being punched or kicked) than children who are not physically punished. It is thus not surprising that children who are spanked by their parents in the past month are 2.3 times as likely to suffer an injury requiring medical attention than children not spanked

What we can learn from this is that there's no need to physically discipline your child at all, and there's no need to discipline your child until a certain age.

Now, onto Asian parenting, since some people on this thread discussed it. Most Asians aren't really like Samias's mother, but the stereotypical Asian parenting (harsh, nasty parenting) isn't very successful at all:

http://www.apadivisions.org/division-7/publications/newsletters/developmental/2013/07/tiger-parenting.aspx

Although there is a popular perception that the secret behind the academic success of Asian American children is the prevalence of “tiger moms” like Amy Chua, we found that children with tiger parents actually had a lower GPA than children with supportive parents.

Children with harsh parents show the worst developmental outcomes.

Being warm, using reasoning and explanation when disciplining children, allowing children to be independent when appropriate, and monitoring children's whereabouts and activities are all good parenting strategies. Parents should also ensure that they minimize shouting or yelling at their children, shaming their children by comparing them to other children, expecting unquestioned obedience from their children, and blaming their children or bringing up past mistakes.

i wouldn't go so far as to say a mild spanking, although scientifically proven to be an unproductive parenting technique, is child abuse.

It's illegal in many countries, such as Norway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment_in_the_home

Edited July 12, 2014 by Chiki

[jiodi]

That's all well and good, and I'd personally go that route were I to be raising a little jiodi-spawn. My dad didn't have the luxury of the internet or anything, and had to deal with me at a pretty young age (he was a single parent at 21).

So I agree with your points, Chiki, I'm just trying to maintain perspective. Plus I gush about my dad being a pretty awesome guy and I hope I can still consider him a superhero till I hit my grave :)

[Chiki]

That's all well and good, and I'd personally go that route were I to be raising a little jiodi-spawn. My dad didn't have the luxury of the internet or anything, and had to deal with me at a pretty young age (he was a single parent at 21).

So I agree with your points, Chiki, I'm just trying to maintain perspective. Plus I gush about my dad being a pretty awesome guy and I hope I can still consider him a superhero till I hit my grave :)

Ok, but:

or got stuck sitting on my bed for a couple days

That sounds really cruel.

Edited July 12, 2014 by Chiki

[dondon151]

First of all, just because I'm against physical punishment doesn't mean I'm against discipline overall (and it doesn't follow that, from me saying that entertainment is optional, that I also believe that punishment concerning taking away entertainment should not be used).

there is no way that i could have possibly identified this distinction unless you explicitly stated it.

What's funny about the first paragraph of your post is that, actually, you can educate your child without disciplining them at all until a certain age.

i know for a fact that asking 8-year-old children to put away their game boys is not an effective strategy.

[General Horace]

i lost my snes once for like a day when i tried to play soccer in the basement and broke a picture frame when i was like, 5

[Chiki]

there is no way that i could have possibly identified this distinction unless you explicitly stated it.

Then what else did you identify? I'm not sure what the point of your post was without the distinction: you seemed to be assuming that my post implied that I was against punishment, when in reality my post didn't imply that at all.

[Phoenix Wright]

It's illegal in many countries, such as Norway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment_in_the_home

okay

[Hugh of Ilia]

All the time They threaten to take them and half the timw they do

[Draco]

Not usually. I was threatened a few times when I was younger, but my mom got rid of my Super Nintendo a year or 2 back. The worst part? She didn't even consult me. She just threw it away without telling me. I was NOT happy about this.

[Mangs]

Seeing as I haven't lived with my parents for well over 5 years, I guess I don't have much to contribute to this topic, but I do remember what my parents did to punish me when I was 15.

My father, if he felt I was gaming too much, would remove the keyboard from my computer, locking it into a closet. This of course wouldn't prevent me from sitting in front of the computer, because I quickly learned how to play only using the mouse. When he discovered it, he took that away too.

However, I quickly went over to my friend, and borrowed his spare mouse, and hid it in my room, using it to game when my father was not at home.

I was a sneaky kid...

Edited July 31, 2014 by Mangs

[Strawman]

When I was younger I did. I had limited time on weekdays and my parents made sure I did my homework first. Also, my dad instituted the rule of no tv or video games on Sundays.