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TheMoniker plays Corrupt Theocracy

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TheMoniker: *Finishes RoadtoRuin*

TheMoniker: Oh yes! Now I can finally take a break from all this LPing!

*3 hours later*

TheMoniker: UGH IM SO BORED I NEED TO DO ANOTHER LP

And that's how this LP was born.

Corrupt Theocracy is a FE7 hack. The forum post is found here(thread now locked). The hack is fully finished, with custom dialogue, supports, maps, and portraits, and 32 chapters. The game has a unique, engaging story, which, when combined with the unique gameplay concepts, together make a beautiful

BAHAHAHAHA! Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I just couldn't keep going with that and keep a straight face! Just ignore what I said, here's the REAL intro:

Corrupt Theocracy is a "finished" hack. However, it's "finished" in roughly the same way that Different Dimensions Ostian Princess is. Blademaster says it's a "semi-custom" hack, which means lots of portrait splices. It also means that many of the chapter maps are either A: Stolen from FE7 or B: You WISH were stolen from FE7. It contains fully custom "dialogue" and a few "custom" classes...although the exact nature of them,..well, you'll see.

When people looked at the hack, they criticized it for its gameplay, and Blademaster said that the gameplay was supposed to just be an aid to the story. Which must be why the text is FULL of grammar errors!

When questioned on THAT, Blademaster caved and said he mostly made it so he could say he "actually made a full hack"! Which should tell you all you need to know about its quality.

Of course, I'm not trying to insult Blademaster here. Blademaster's a pretty okay guy. His hack is horrible though.

Of course, obviously, I don't expect you to just take my WORD on it's quality. You need to see it for yourself!

Oh wait, a few more things before I start: While normally I make these LPs informative, this one is just a joke LP, so I won't be showing growths or anything. There isn't a growth sheet in the topic, and normally I'd PM the maker, but what would I even say? "Hey bro, I'm gonna make an LP to mock your hack, can you give me some info to give along with the mocking"?

Also, this LP will probably be a bit slower than my other ones. Partially because I can't do too much Corrupt Theocracy without going insane, and partially because Elibean Nights is scheduled for a christmas release(I want to LP it), and Chaos Mode could be updated any day now, and there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY this hack is taking priority over EITHER of them.

Okay, okay, let's get started.

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Custom title screens? Who needs 'em?

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I mean, for all we know, this could just be normal FE7. I could be fooling you all.

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Or not.

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The tactician dialogue is unchanged.

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PERFECT

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Okay, let's get started!

BEGIN DIALOGUE

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Okay, so Jake and Anna are our two narrators. They will show up in houses and villages in the like, and at the beginning of chapters, basically as a replacement for Blademaster making an actual custom map screen.

Anna: Hello there!

Jake: Together, we are your helpful guides and narrators!

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It's a lie

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Another thing about this hack is bad text bubble design. While Road to Ruin made sure to keep its sentences good and confined in individual text bubbles, which made it easy to screenshot lines of text, in this hack, sentences will consistently take many, many text bubbles, and they are REALLY HARD to screenshot adequately. Be prepared for a LOT of weird starts and stops!

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This apparently does NOT take place anywhere in normal FE7 canon. Totally new continent.

Jake: peace. Before this long enjoyed peace, the land was ravaged by the

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So, it was ravaged by an alien?

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Technologically advanced Dragons? LASER DRAGONS? ARE THERE LASER DRAGONS IN THIS HACK?

NOPE!

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So, they defeated him, but didn't KILL him, AND they chose to seal him in HIS castle instead of an allied castle! GREAT WORK THERE!

Jake: the Dragons civilization was for the most part destroyed and many Dragons had been killed. With such a small population left, and the breeding problems that the dragons were notoriously known for,

Wait, they had breeding problems SO BAD they were NOTORIOUS for it?

Jake: the Dragons were forced to enter a more human form and start breeding with humans so as to preserve their bloodline. Though some dragons and humans alike disagreed with such ideas. The humans were not harmed by Pyron since they worshiped as the embodiment of one of their gods, the Sun. Why should they help the people who killed their god? Despite the human’s efforts

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WHAT

So, a recurring theme in this hack is that the story touches on lots of mature, interesting plot elements(like rape), but it never really explores them, and that combined with the bad grammar/sentence organization and gameplay makes it lose any real meaning it might have had.

Jake: the Dragons who were against such ideas, they continued to mate with each other. As a result, Terra was split into five countries: Dragon, Holy, Mage, Repub, and Merc.

Wait...look closer at those names...the country made up of Dragons is called "Dragon"...the religious country is called "Holy"...the country with mages is called "Mage"...the country with mercs is called "Merc"...and there's another country called "Repub"....GUESS WHAT TYPE OF GOVERNMENT IT IS?

I think this hack quite possibly wins the award for LEAST interesting names. Ever.

Jake: The Dragon country is made up of the Dragons who refused to mate with the humans. Sadly, overtime, even these dragons started to devolve and lost the ability to become Dragons. Only two Dragons left alive today come close to having the power of old, but even they have devolved. Anna, do you remember who they were?

Anna: Sorry, I don’t. I believe that the younger of the two is the current ruler though. The older one is his personal guard I think.

You don't...but you DO?

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Kind of an odd transition here.

Jake: Dragon clans that left the Dragon country. They decided to move on from science and started to study the magic of the earth and forbidden magic instead. Only one human had ever delved in such magic before, and he is rumored to still be alive at the Mage country palace in the center of the Huitzl desert!

Anna: The Mage country has two Kings. The current Kings are Page of

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Wait what? They're HERE? And they're ATHOS AND NERGAL?

No, they aren't really here. Jake and Anna apparently have hologram generation powers is all.

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Jake: up of the Divine Dragons who adapted the old religion of the humans and changed it. They even copied the magic that Pyron used!

Anna: That country is ruled by the Pope, but I don’t know anything about the current one. They are always old men who rule for about a year and then die.

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I KNEW IT

Jake: of the Fire, Water, Wind, and Earth Dragon clans. The Earth clan has the most authority.

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Jake: The Merc country is made up of the humans who escaped the Dragons. They are all either Nomads, Bandits, Mercenaries, or tribes.

tribe? What kind of a class is that?

Jake: They have

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Let's play "spot the typo"! This will not be the last time we play this game.

Also, the fade to blacks in this hack are really weird, it fades, flashes, and then transitions. You'd have to see it to know what I mean.

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As you can see, our first map is a custom map! This guy apparently didn't read Prime's seminar on mapmaking!

Also, the story begins the way every FE story begins: BANDITS!

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Bandidude: I agree Goh. Gelo will be most pleased.

Goh: But still, this was quite the dangerous mission. I can’t believe we all even survived this job.

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They all survived...except for the guy who sacrificed himself.

Goh: Yeah, well we couldn’t go and do that. Barry is the strongest of all of us. Stronger than even Don and Gelo! Though he would never admidt it…

Bandidude: Hey boss, since the coast is clear, why don’t we go wild? In addition to the 10,000 gold we get for this mission, we get who knows how much more for the robbing these towns yeah?

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Why is "apes" capitalized?

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We scroll up to the village...but not quite enough.

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Oh yes, they're really "scurring" about.

Villaguy: starting to move! I hope someone from the Repub army shows up soon!

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Cue us IMMEDIATELY showing up!

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Uh, okay...these aren't even splices or recolors, they are literally just copy-pasted...

Marcus(?): Yes, Lord Eli. The vilagers have reported that there were some bandits lurking around this area and the Repub Dragon border.

Wait what, how did we get the reports so fast? Were we like, 10 feet away from the edge of the map when the villager shouted for help?

Marcus: The fact that they could have come from the Dragon country is quite alarming. I think it would be best to at least capture one of them for interrogation.

Bors(?): That may not work out too well. My experience with the people of Merc has shown that generally they are more likely to commit suicide or survive the most heinous torture. They are a proud people.

Wait...how did he get this "experience"?

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The none nomads? I'll bet THEY are an easy group to fight!

Bors(?): The nomads are even more resilient. They won’t even flinch and are too proud to commit suicide.

HOW DID HE GET THIS EXPERIENCE?

Eli: Well then, let’s see what we can do then. Just try and get any information you can!

Marcus(?): Yes Sir!

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Eli: You too Flo.

Yes, they are love interests.

END DIALOGUE

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Alright, let's look at our characters!

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This is our lord, Eli. Why am I not in his stat screen? Because he has a bug. You CAN'T CHECK HIS STATS.

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Here's Bowen, the soldier, he looks pretty generi-WAIT WHAT IS THAT 17 DEFENSE? WHAT THE HECK?

So yeah, the entirety of the earlygame is pretty much a cakewalk, because all your units are totally OP. I mean, seriously!

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Mark here is our "crutch character"...except all our units are so amazing he isn't needed at all.

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Yep. 18 speed. I know she's a pegasus knight but come ON!

Okay, let's look at the enemies. Surely, to combat our units, they must have amazing stats, right?

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WRONG.

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The boss is...not even worthy to be called a boss. He is quite possibly WORSE THAN BATTA.

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There's a random female thief. I think Blademaster did something to the thief class.

Okay, that's all for now. Next time, we actually start playing this mess. Don't worry, it'll be short.

Keep in mind if you see any typos in my transcribed dialogue, in all likeliness they were the game's and not mine. I'll be doing my best to faithfully replicate all the bad grammar, and resist my inner urge to correct it...

Edited by Tangerine

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yeah....will be reading this since I have no plans to lp this in the future.

also the bandit cliche may be overused but honestly, it really is a great plot device for beginners.

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HEY. I highly doubt ANY hack can be worse than Ostian Princess....

And come on! Comparing this to Road to Ruin is like comparing..... uh.... Jeigan to any other unit EVER. XD

Definitely looking forward to the trials and tribulations that await here.

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holy shit, i actually played and finished this hack.

it was so damn bad but i wanted to prove myself by beating it, not sure to who or why though.

To your conscience that was screaming "NO, stop play this right now!" the whole nine yards.

Also Bowen or Mark solo go go go go

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You realize this hack is from the Jurassic Period of hacking, do you not?

That's at least partially the reason why it is what it is. (The lack of a great number of modifications).

(Doesn't explain the writing, but....)

Edited by Siuloir

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HEY. I highly doubt ANY hack can be worse than Ostian Princess....

And come on! Comparing this to Road to Ruin is like comparing..... uh.... Jeigan to any other unit EVER. XD

Definitely looking forward to the trials and tribulations that await here.

Where did I compare it to Road to Ruin? I just mentioned it at the very beginning. Trust me, this hack and Road to Ruin are on ENTIRELY different levels.

there are so many other hacks to play like DoF or EN

Those hacks, they aren't like this hack. This hack is UNIQUE.

holy shit, i actually played and finished this hack.

it was so damn bad but i wanted to prove myself by beating it, not sure to who or why though.

Really? I thought I was the only one! Honestly, I feel the same way about it as you do. It's like, you know you should just quit and stop wasting your time, but it's like bile fascination...

You realize this hack is from the Jurassic Period of hacking, do you not?

That's at least partially the reason why it is what it is. (The lack of a great number of modifications).

(Doesn't explain the writing, but....)

Yeah, but trust me, this hack's quality can't be excused by being old. Trust me, when you see just how terrible the game design gets, you'll understand.

OP confirmed as complete asshole

I'm sigging this at some point

.

Hello, babes and bros. Welcome to...

Corrupt Theocracy: Episode 1: Prologue: The Suck Begins

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Before we begin, just about all enemy descriptions are like this. I'll be pointing them out anyway. But I mean, seriously...2 strength?

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Let's just get this out of the way.

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That was, uh, kinda weird...

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But hey, profits!

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We move forward, the enemies move forward...

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Skipping ahead, combat begins! Look at all that yellow.

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These guys are gonna get WIPED.

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Wow, such an interesting boss quote...wheeee...

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THIS IS NOT HOW THE EARLYGAME SHOULD WORK

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I MEAN COME ON SERIOUSLY

OUR MAIN LORD ONE-SHOTS THE BOSS

SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE

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"Blargh!" indeed.

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I COULD kill this guy with Flo, but I leave him alive because I want to show something.

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Reinforcements! And enemy phase trollreinforcements, no less! There will be a healthy dose of these basically every chapter.

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Eli will handle them.

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ONE HANDLING LATER

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Lampshading it doesn't make it good gameplay! Come on!

Eli: you aren’t even part of the larger Merc bandit groups or Guilds. Who is your leader?

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"Tounge"? Is that what they're calling it these days?

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Our heroes.

Eli: And from what Bowen told me this further proves my point. I am not too familiar with all the Merc ways, but I do know why you all resort to such life styles: you have no choice. Your people are numerous and there are not enough resources for you all to share, so you are forced to buy them form Holy or Repub since Mage and Dragon will have nothing to do with you. Stealing is your only other option after that.

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So, because MAYBE these guys are a bit sympathetic...we're going to give them money. Okay.

Eli: information on what you were doing at the Dragon Repub border.

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W-WHAT? We could EASILY kill you right now, but INSTEAD we are generously offering you some cash...and you're trying to BARGAIN with us? WTH?

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THAT'S THREE TIMES THE MONEY WE ACTUALLY HAVE IN GAMEPLAY!

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Bandude: I dunno why wee’s was in Drag’n. Our leader, Gelo, was the only one who knew. Think it’s fo takin a hostess or sumtin?

Eli: Hostess? Do you mean hostage?

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W-what? LAMSHADING IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GOOD? HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE? IT'S AN ACCENT! THIS ISN'T OW PEOPLE WITH ACCEN-okay, okay, I give up. This hack...the plot has more holes than swiss cheese, after you've jabbed it with a pencil a few hundred times.

Eli: I see. Mark, take him back to the fort and call for some reinforcements incase we get into a situation with Dragon or these merc folks here.

Mark: Yes Sir!

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Bowen: Merc would act like that.

Eli: I hope so. Let’s go check the border and see what we can find.

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NEXT TIME: The Boy

Best chapter title ever.

Edited by TheMoniker

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can someone explain to me how ripping into someone else's creative work without even bothering to consult the creator first for a cheap laugh is okay?

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Yeah, but trust me, this hack's quality can't be excused by being old. Trust me, when you see just how terrible the game design gets, you'll understand.

I've seen it already. (With the giant walls of enemies).

It was also probably designed by someone who was at the time maybe 13-14.

But, tis what it is.

Edited by Siuloir

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can someone explain to me how ripping into someone else's creative work without even bothering to consult the creator first for a cheap laugh is okay?

Let's be honest, it's Blademaster's project, and back in the day nobody liked blade master. He was a kinda super piece of shit misogynist as I recall.

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Let's be honest, it's Blademaster's project, and back in the day nobody liked blade master. He was a kinda super piece of shit misogynist as I recall.

This.

Also, please keep going with the LP. I'm finding your narration hilarious. :D:

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can someone explain to me how ripping into someone else's creative work without even bothering to consult the creator first for a cheap laugh is okay?

To be fair, this isn't exactly exclusive here. You may not like it, but it's not like people are gonna stop. Unfortunately, perhaps.

Blademaster was one that has already had a laugh at the expense of his own hack before, I believe.

Didn't he make a hack with a seven year old fighter or was it this one?

Edited by Tryhard

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O_O''.....

*quickly fixes own hack to avoid this same fate and sets a quality of standards for any future projects released here*

anyway....yeah....this will be fun

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can someone explain to me how ripping into someone else's creative work without even bothering to consult the creator first for a cheap laugh is okay?

As Klok explains:

Let's be honest, it's Blademaster's project, and back in the day nobody liked blade master. He was a kinda super piece of shit misogynist as I recall.

Phew, I was kinda feeling bad about this, honestly...I thought Blademaster was just a victim of his own lack of hacking skills, but now that I know he's a jerk, a huge moral weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Thanks, Klok!

Didn't he make a hack with a seven year old fighter or was it this one?

If you're talking about Ricky, then yeah, this is that hack.

Hello babes and bros. Welcome to...

Corrupt Theocracy: Episode 2: Chapter 1: Bandits in the Woods

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Best title ever 10/10

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Not sure if this extra-cool fadeout is intentional or not.

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Hurrah, backstory for Eli. Yaaaaayyy. Also, note that Blademaster consistently forgets dashes when talking about borders(It should be "Dragon-Repub border").

Jake: border. But little did he know, the events he was about to witness would lead to a series of events that would span 40 years…

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All the units just sort of...appear on the map. They don't walk in, they aren't there at the start, everything is an empty map and then these guys just randomly pop into existence.

The boss begins talking...

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Sucker: 34 of us are left and 10 of us left to scout and haven’t returned! This is all that Max’s fault! 10,000 was not worth this! Don was the last great Warrior of the Landaxe tribe and he has died! Those Dragons…such strength! And now Barry is all but useless…

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Not sure if accent or typo...

Gelo: The Landaxe tribe was once a tribe of great warriors who rivaled even the Assassin guild. But the Assassin’s caught on and wiped all but five of them out. Don, Barry, Gan, Jill, and Katlin. With Don gone, Gan and Jill missing, and Barry’s wife Katlin constantly suffering from illness, he is almost all alone. He even only joined us because Don asked him to. Otherwise he would still be training that lord… I think his name was Harry or Henme? Something along those lines.

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We're just as guilty of randomly appearing as the enemies. Were walking events a thing back then? If they were, Blademaster has no excuse.

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Henry: No problem Eli. What are friends for? I may still be in training, but I can still help you fight!

Troy: I’m sorry that my brother Beyard couldn’t come in my stead, but he is commander of the water clan army.

Eli: Don’t worry Troy. Let’s get this mission over with! Men! Move out!

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Ha! I love how the boss totally freaks out! "NO NO NO DAMNIT!" Best reaction ever! And no, nobody will be escaping.

END DIALOGUE

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Well, time to get started! See that fighter in the trees? He's the aforementioned Barry.

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Henry here has some very possible, not-ridiculous stats. A normal Hector might actually be able to get that at level 12. Still, he manages to be useful thanks to his good defense.

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Troy here is a very useful archer. As you can see from these two, some unpromoted units have slightly modified stat caps.

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Another custom map. It's still pretty terrible.

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Barry is Bartre, and interestingly, Henry is the only one who can recruit him.

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Barry: Lord Henry…I apologize. My brother Done convinced me to go with these people. But I will have nothing to do with them anylonger. Allow me to fight alongside you.

Henry: Of course! Why would I not let my teacher fight alongside me! Also, I heard about Don…

Barry: Yes…to think I only have five family members left…*text skip, I missed something else*

Henry: Her sister in law took her back home to keep her company and take care of her since her husband left. It must be hard on them having husbands who leave all the time.

Barry: Considering who my sister is laws husband is, it must be harder on her…

Henry: And who would that be?

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What a great way to end a conversation.

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Barry is BY FAR the most ridiculous character yet. Seventeen speed(one less than the peg knight) and nineteen skill(one more than the archer) on a FRICKIN' FIGHTER! Barry solo is very feasible.

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The poison sword description is kind of glitched out, but I feel obligated to mention: Poison swords(and ONLY poison swords) bypass defense now. This makes them kinda threatening but not really.

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The enemies have POWERED UP...but not by much!

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That's a nice boss you got there...it would be a sssssssshame if anything happened to it...

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Troy might actually be a custom portrait, judging by his suck of a minimug. He's probably a splice or something copied from FE6(which I never played) though...

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If you look closely, you can see the thickets and mountains cheographing the enemies down one tiny path. They'll take FOREVER to get to us.

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ONE SHOT!

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I'M SO SCARED

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OH NO A CRIT

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Hey! Dangit! Eli needs that! Kinda!

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Really, none of the combat this chapter is really interesting or exciting. Expect me to turn animations off eventually, as things get even LESS interesting and exciting.

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Weird dude: give the girl to a friend of his. She then said they could never meet again…and the noble did just that. Such a sad and loving story. Here, take this bow for listening to my story.

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THAT WASN'T TOUCHING AT ALL! So, some lady cheats on her boyfriend, and the boyfriend takes her extra children out of love? Even worse when you realize that she was only gone a year, and pregnancies take 9 months...so she apparently was getting around enough to have TWINS! What?

Oh well. The longbow will make Troy a good unit for a while.

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No boss quote?

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Troy with the new longbow is definitely the best choice for this boss.

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But suddenly, the boss starts healing! You know how some hacks give vulneraries 15 HP and 5 uses to make them more useful? Blademaster one-ups them by giving them EIGHT uses!

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BEST GAME DESIGN

I think the enemies actually equate to a little bit more than 24.

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Best crutch character ever.

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Oh sure...crit NOW...

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Troy gets the first level of the hack! In addition to having amazing bases, everyone's growths are SUPER good in this hack.

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Barry handles the massive wave of reinforcements. See, this guy tends to very quickly max out three of his stats, and then get very few other stats.

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No really. He kills them all, and his HP doesn't go below 30!

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PROFITABLE.

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Eli: this child from Dragon?

Golo: Child… That boy is likely older than both of us combined. But yes, that is what we were ordered to do. But…and I’m not sure about this, the real person behind all this is the head of the Demon tribe Akuma.

Mark: Akuma… Even I have heard of him. He is a very strong Berserker. I believe he is part of the current Merc 5 correct?

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We will be fighting all of them. Eventually.

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Bowen: of this Orca or Brunden. I guess that Bandit leader and the Landaxe tribe leader got kicked out…

Eli: Thank you for your help, and, as we promised, we will let you and your men go with the gold we promised.

Golo: Thank you.

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The hostage they had was actually Nils. What a surprise!

Nova: other members of the Dragon clan here in Repub…

Eli: Excuse me? Who here is also part of the Dragon clan?

Nova: You are not aware? We Dragons can sense our fellow clan members. You and that girl…you’re both Dragons. Though nethier of you receive the blessings of the dragons…

Flo: You mean Eli and I are…Dragons?

Our protagonists are apparently descended from dragons, but they have no dragon powers or anything.

Nova: Yes. Haven’t the two of you ever felt closer each other than with others?

Elie: …Perhaps. But for now, we have other business to attend to. We need to discuss this with Holy and find this Akuma to see what is going on. What is it that you want to do?

Nova: Please, let me go with you. when those men came, I willing went with them. We Dragons are not allowed to explore the outside world. This is a great opportunity!

So, you let bandits kidnap you just so you could explore the world? You'd think a few thousand years of life would give you a bit more intellgence...

Eli: Very well. I would also like to hear more about Flo and my predicament…

Being dragons=predicament

Logic.

zQPPKIi.png

It's a lie. Just so you know.

Don't expect my normal prelude/gameplay/conclusion setup. I'm just gonna do whatever's convenient for this hack.

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I nearly choked on my own saliva looking at Barry's stats.

Has weapon weight been removed by any chance? Because I'm looking at these stats and noticing NOBODY with a heavy axe equipped is losing speed.

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