Lance Masayoshi Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I should of said long dong of the law now that i think about it did you know long dong is actually a real place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 did you know long dong is actually a real place not if i destroy it first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 not if i destroy it firstow the edge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 ow the edge I am Dandra the Dragon. This world is full of virgin assholes that I will violate. This is who I am! Last time, we got into trouble with a clan whose name I forgot. The people cried for blood, and it shall be delivered. This is all you brought? I hope this isn't your entire clan. This bitch thought it was a great idea to attack someone with Counter. With her staff. I have your friend hostage. You have until the count of three to cease your fighting. Three. That was pathetic. You were a shit clan. Shhhhhhh...Just keep sucking... It'll all be over, soon. Now, onto actual plot! Except that it has a color to it. I really hope no one pisses blue in this world. For a second, I thought I was part of a game with shitty characters. NO! IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! Holy shit. Hell actually froze over. Strange looking ice, though. ...Yep, my dick is still there. This isn't hell! Nor is this ice! Well shit. The Illuminati do exist. Uh oh. I think God is tired of my existence. Wait a minute...You're not God! ...Right? Destroyer of Anuses. Among other things. Well, if you could show me the exit, I'll just le- Welp. In the interest of fairness, he let's me summon my clan. At least, that's what I think he's doing. And there goes his first minion. You really suck at this. Don't you have anything threatening? Well there is that. I feel my dick literally retracting into my body, right now! This thing does not have an asshole. This presents a problem. Dick Chelney fortunately carves an asshole to be fucked. And thus he bent over and became my bitch. Oh. Whoops. Well, it can't get worse than this. Oh no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- I'm a whiney little bitch! That's not what I said! Pay attention to the subtext! *sigh* So yeah. The entire reason for laws during battle is because of Mewt. He got mad because bullies broke the rules during a snowball fight. So now we suffer for it. I stood up for you, dammit! Also, that mark on his head is where he got hit with the rock. Literally Kim Jong-un. Lady, your sprite clearly does not have pink hair. That is obviously blonde. Now, see, Cid actually is competent in this world. Almost a badass. Almost. I accidentally skipped over it, but Mewt says word for word "I want to make the laws stronger! Please, can I?" And so they become stronger. Because fuck you. Not a rubber glove, but I'll manage. You want me to send one of my trained fighters to help you find a god damn book in your room? ...Fine... MONTBLANC THIS IS YOUR FAULT! And this is how you can cheese the game. You can steal items that are equipped. Equip your thieves with concentrate. It will pay off. Trust me. It's not eavesdropping if they talk loud enough! "My hat is magical, don't you know?" Implying the old laws didn't bother me. That sounds like terrorist talk! ...I'm in. Next time, we're gonna break the laws even more! FUCK THE POLICE! This is the fourth goddamn time I had to type this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 can confirm he typed it 3 times and kept failing last night so we played cards against humanity it was worth the effort though a+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 ngl that's pretty badass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Not a rubber glove, but I'll manage. You're going into unknown territory while wearing a rubber. Seems like a good move to me. MONTBLANC THIS IS YOUR FAULT! This is why Nino moved to Elibe (and why she starts with Elfire). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 You're going into unknown territory while wearing a rubber. Seems like a good move to me. fucking lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Masayoshi Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 You're going into unknown territory while wearing a rubber. Seems like a good move to me. this made me laugh harder than it should've Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 School is back so updates will be a lot less frequent. Because work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specta Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 You're going into unknown territory while wearing a rubber. Seems like a good move to me. i'm cryin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 You're going into unknown territory while wearing a rubber. Seems like a good move to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 God damn it eclipse you are stealing what little thunder i had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euklyd Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 God damn it eclipse you are stealing what little thunder i had.luckily the rubber suit grants immunity to lightning all the more reason to wear it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 i can think of a number of reasons i would like dan dragon to wear a rubber suit, op Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 i can think of a number of reasons i would like dan dragon to wear a rubber suit, op FULL BODY PENETRATION Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 FULL BODY PENETRATION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Midterms are finally over. I'm sick and should be resting. IT'S BEEN TOO LONG WITH AN UPDATE! Last time! Something about terrorism against the new North Korea. LESGO "Dandra is a lazy faggot who doesn't get anything done until the last minute." Is that what the kids are calling them, nowadays? Well there's this thing called Judicial Rev-oh... We meet again, Racist Archer. You're fate is at hand! ...Again! Compared to how much gil I have now, this is really like losing a dime. But that's still a very shiny dime. So I'm still angry. So I took his clothes. He was then laughed at for having a robo-penis. Heh. Heh. Heh. ...It says "ass". Michaelov has decided to create a new orifice in which to be penetrated. Through the head. Meanwhile, The Fister is off on his own journey of self-enlightenment. It did not take very long. Did I mention Michaelov could fly to any place within the world? It's because he can't HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OVER THERE?! Rejuvenation is yet another ability of those who follow the ways of the Fist. Here's another tip to help cheese this game from Old Man Dandra. Of course, I learned this from Parrhesia, so shout out to him. Turbo MP increases the accuracy of all magics at the cost of double the MP. Give it as well as Cure and Life white magic to a black mage. Maybe Esuna. Hey, I remember you! Because then he wouldn't be a good terrorist, now would he? Not on my watch, ya dick weeds! PRAISE ALLAH! Largo, what have they done to you. You used to be a based Berserker! Ezel has the ability to put all enemies to sleep. I honestly don't remember him having this ability once he's usable. Steal EVERYTHING! And you get to live so long as you lend me your services. You are not good at following orders, are you? Woah. Rude. I love this line. Aw shit. It's the fuzz! The implications are everywhere. No one is safe. He used a card. I was too slow to catch it on screen. But yeah. Card games were played. He never uses this against us, by the way. Even more card games! HOW EXCITING! And then we poof. Because fuck you, Cid. Like, seriously. That's the equivalent of the FBI coming after your ass. I can only imagine this will end with blood everywhere. This is good. It begins... For some reason, this is a story mission. These guys actually wanted to play a game of tennis. Until this douchebag RUINED IT! IT BEGINS This sounds like a very dangerous and stupid recipe. Eh, worst outcome is a bomb, which we can use for TERRORISM! A fierce battle has ended in victory. WHEN SUDDENLY! The smoke of the volcano engulfs the battlefield, blinding all who are present. The sound of footsteps is heard upon the heated rock. A shadow is seen walking towards the group of warriors. The smoke clears and the figure emerges, standing before Death. The Red Mist hath arrived. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 AW SHIT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I can only imagine this will end with blood everywhere. This is good. i agree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRDRHAWK Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 oh fuck red mages op Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 THINGS I SEE: - the most amazing Viera ever Not a dude, but she can take 'em all on~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Pay no attention to the lack of updates. I'm working on it dammit! LAST TIME: We were graced with the presence of the legendary red mage, Eldena. I immediately sent her out on a dispatch mission. LET'S GET SHIT DONE TODAY! Well first you take off all your clothes. All of them. NO! NOT AGAIN! You know, this looks like a mad scientist lab. I suddenly don't feel safe. Lazy bastard is probably off eating Cheetos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ni8ciwvrzM Thelma is an unfortunate victim of dimensional rifts fucking with her. Or I'm high. This is actually Michaelov, not the Fister. kjustwantedtoletyouknow Safra is very angry that he cannot steal anything from inanimate objects. Anyone who knows Final Fantasy knows that Ultima is a very powerful spell. Anyone who knows FFTA knows that Ultima does MP damage in this game, making it shit. I really don't feel like dealing with this. Fire in the Hole! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Now I am become Death, destroyer of anuses. Unfortunately, one of them survives with 7 hp. Like a fucking faggot. Speaking of faggots! You appear to have come down with a case of whiney-bitchitis. And the only treatment is to wake the fuck up. Spread your ass cheeks cause you're due for a check up. The Good Docter is ready. I'm coming for your ass, you little shit. He really IS the new North Korea! There are several things wrong with this statement. He'll die? EXCELLENT! I'm under the impression their scrambling under an anarchistic rule right now. Which implies they weren't already. Oh no... Against my better judgement, I decide to go and help out. "#-" "I swear to god, you start and I'm leaving..." These ladies are attracted to the NutznCock of Death. Unfortunately, I don't fuck freaks of nature. The best move. She misses. Why are you throwing all your money away?! You are RUINING the economy! Thanks, Obama! YOU BITCH! "#Killsteal" Many problems would be solved if I got rid of you now... On the bright side, Safra got a new hat! Getting real sick of this Paladin/Hunter combo. Not OP in the slightest. This sounds like every time I go to a store and there's a couple. It gets annoying. Lumberjacks are illegal in Ivalice. At least, I think that's why I'm arresting these people. Bitch, Treants are a thing. You're asking to get your ass beat. Don't mind me, I'm just judging you. Yet another of Dandra's tips for cheesing the game. Templar's are able to use spears and equip any armor in the game. By equipping Dragoon abilities, they can use the jump command as well as breathes which can be boosted by the Black Robe armor. Thus, the Jumplar is born. AHA! Chelney was actually DEVANGE, THE FISTER! Of course, taking off his disguise causes him to miss. Anyone who tells you that you should use Paladin/Hunter is dumb. Ultima Shot is not worth it. This poor moogle was facially devastated. His sacrifice was in vain. Oh my god... THEY'RE ROBOTS! And one of them can summon hellbeasts. No fair! A ranged punch to the ovaries is the only punishment. Death now resists attack with the power of NO You broke my diamond armor! YOU WHORE! I mined several hours to get that! And by turn in, I mean beat the shit out of, furiously. This was an annoying fight. I should probably stop holding down the speed up button cause I keep missing quite a few good pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 god b l e s s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 worth the wait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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