finished Let's Play: OpenXCOM - UFO Defense

[Parrhesia]

RECRUIT

has had probably the longest wait since recruitment and actual debut

GEOSCAPE

Icebyrne Shades tried to put on a smile as she visited Colonel Hamish MacTavish in the medbay. It was a dark, dank and understaffed area, and it wasn't made better by the extremely rudimentary (chief medical officer Darren Flintsteel preferred 'bespoke') life support systems. Shades was no medic, but she felt as though MacTavish should really be allowed to walk by this stage.

"Ahh, if it isn't the sharpshooter supreme hersel'. It's good to see a familiar face down here, love."

"You look like shit, skipper."

"Yeah, well. It happens."

"Anyway, figured you don't get much news down here, so..."

"It's appreciated, love. What've you got there?"

"Oh, this... ?" Shades pulled a smooth revolver out of the holster on her belt. "New pistols, reverse-engineered from the alien ones."

"Plasma?"

"Yeah. The guns themselves needed... alien ID signatures or some weird shit like that. But we've figured out how to crack that, made the design more practical for the human hand, and we should be able to even make our own these days. ... This one's yours. Medics are getting first shout, it seems like, so they have a free hand for medkits and flares and such."

MacTavish felt the smooth steel with his hand. "Could get used to it. How's the American base going these days? It's only rumoured to exist."

"Progressing well. Hangars are up and the radar system is underway."

"Well-staffed, too. But there's no talk of turning it into a primary base or anything like that - they're more a feeder from what I've heard, supplied from here."

"We're doing well all along the world, then?"

Shades' gave the most forced and least convincing grin MacTavish had ever seen. "Aha, yeah... about that..."

"Italy's pissed off about all those UFOs overhead. And, well, about Rome. Everyone in Rome dying. Being the thing."

"Well, yeah, but they've never been that happy with us-"

"And, well, those UFOs? Heading south, usually. One might say... to South Africa. Which, let's say hypothetically, may or may not have defected." Shades handed over a small graph.

"Hmph. Didn't seem to take much convincing."

"Hell, you know politicians. I mean, even Tebbit was bent easily enough to their will, right?"

MacTavish shrugged. "Well, if that's the only problem..."

"... Uh. Yeah. Um."

"We found a UFO out there. Big signature. Sent both fighters after it."

"Things got rough, and Foxtrot 2 barely got out in time. But the first was closing in, things looked okay..."

"And?"

"And then we lost contact with Foxtrot 1."

"Our air dominance isn't what it once was."

"I gotta be honest, it's kind of desperate. And a ton of them landed, and... and the Skyranger tried to catch them but it just couldn't, you know?"

"At least that mental sniper, Sanada, is gonna be happy. This was a special request from her. Not that I can see why - I've had a go with it and it's useless, can't burst-fire... what's the point?"

"Maybe our air game can at least be salvaged. A bit."

"And maybe things will go okay in the US. We can hope, right?"

fun fact i sent out an interceptor to take out a small.

i'd forgotten you had to manually equip interceptors with weapons.

i hate myself.

"Anyway, I... I just came to say there's been an attack on Delhi. I'm going out there to fight it. Wish me luck, alright?"

"Alright. I have faith in you to clean it up out there."

The squad! The reserves. Notable missions to kills;

MacTavish and Thorns are both 4 for 4 despite terrible aim, Tebbit's 6 kills in 5 missions leads the squad, but then it's just 2 for 2 Rand and then nobody of note in the main squad. Veterans have dropped like flies lately.

Gunblock, incidentally, is 0 for 4.

i forgot to put plasma pistols in the skyranger. or the heavy laser. please live haru

BATTLESCAPE

Gunblock: "LOVE TO SEE A NICE QUIET LANDING, FOLKS"

Smokes: "Who the fuck overwatch-fired the cannons!? WAS THAT A ROCKET?!"

Guillotine: "Fuck, we're tearing it up! Hah!"

Guillotine: "Damn, I missed... Still, hell of a trick shot it would've been, eh?"

Smokes: "Oh, I thought you must've hit. Heard a scream, so."

Tebbit: "..."

Guillotine: "Aw, shit."

Oppa: "Fortunately, at least some of us are on our game tonight. Man, these pink elephants go down easy."

Gunblock: "Pink... elephants... ?"

Jam: "Oppa, how many eckies did you chew, swallow or inhale before this... ?"

Oppa: "Hell, I mean, I lost count."

Smokes: "AARRG- wait, shit, I took two shots and lived?"

Gunblock: "Aww, they're having a little conversation!! Cuties!! GUN THEM THE FUCK DOWN."

Cool: "shit"

Despotovic: "Where is this damned last floater?"

Tebbit: "Huh... did I just hear a door open behind me?"

Tebbit: "DIE, SCU- oh, uh. Hi."

Civilian: <"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY STORE">

Tebbit: "Carry on with your business, sir."

Civilian: <"BY THE GODS, MY DAUGHTER! MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER... SHE WAS FOURTEEN, YOU SAVAGES! FOURTEEN!">

Tebbit: "Your gratitude is noted, sir. It's all in a day's work for us."

Guillotine: "Maybe this is the last guy?"

Smokes: "hi my name is ogla gillyteen and i am a literal moron who figures, hell, someone might as well have this rocket launcher in a delicate and nuanced combat area, let's do some war crimes"

Guillotine: "SHUT THE FUCK UP."

oh my god it was the last alien on the map and casey ryan with the autocannon had eyes on from a weird angle. Couldn't fire at him - could fire at the wall near him though!

She hit Tebbit directly twice. He lived. Hit the alien once. It didn't.

Casualty: Chaff Gunstock.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Parrhesia

[fengaridotdll]

Only one death this time... You're getting much better then the entire party wipe at the start!

[Parrhesia]

Not really. The only changes in my play are that I'm more cautious with regards to scouting and abuse the fuck out of flares now - the start of this game is a nightmare no matter what. Keep in mind about seven shots were stopped by armour and a guy was saved by medkits, neither of which we had at the start.

Anyway, if I'd either fired with Gunstock first or just moved him out of the way I'd have done it without losses - it wasn't that clear in the update, but Cool shot him trying to kill the floater Gunstock spotted.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Parrhesia

[Parrhesia]

tgif

GEOSCAPE

WE NEED THESE


We have laser cannon on all our ships now, but interceptors themselves are kind of crap these days. We need to accelerate/possess an air game.


The amount of nothing that is happening allows us to, well, do that.


um

anyway we start may off by shooting down a small ufo. hopefully routine.
i forget to get a squad screenshot or reequip the craft ebcause I'm still shell-shocked by how bad that month went, christ!

BATTLESCAPE

THIS MISSION STARTS BRILLIANTLY


Thorns: "No worries. Midichlorian's stable."
MacTavish: "Tiny damn UFO. Wonder why we bothered."
Thorns: "Rookie morale, I guess?"
Mayhem: "W- wait, you mean they're not all like this?"
Thorns: "Poor babies."


Mayhem: "AAAARHJgh"
Thorns: "Quiet, little child. Come here. Here comes the stim aeroplane!"


scientific diagnosis: 'lol'

Casualties: None?

GEOSCAPE

i guess this is an anti-spoiler because they immediately terrorise dallas.


sanada and 420 go in unarmoured, kill me

BATTLESCAPE

Awkwardly, we start out seeing a sectoid and cyberdisk. I make the decision to shoot AND THORNS FUCKING DIES, KILL ME.
Ryan: "Everything's bigger in Texas! Like, hell, casualty lists."


Scruff: "Only took eight shots... christ, was starting to think we were fucked there.
MacTavish: "Then look around, ye daft cunt! We still are!"


Rand: "I KEEP MISSING - TEBBIT, GOD DAMN YOU, THIS IS YOUR FUCKING WORK, ISN'T IT"
Sanada: "Step aside. I'll handle this."


Rand: "nice"
Rand: "work"
Rand: "you"
Rand: "dumb"
Rand: "cunt"
Sanada: "Tch! You just don't understand - every little thing I do is magic. Watch as this new attack vector I have created works to our advantage."


Sanada: "YOU SEE IT ARROGANTLY SHOT THE DOOR FRAME NOW I SHALL CELEBRATE IN SAFETY FROM THE BACK OF THE SHIP AAAAA"
Rand: "Hey, at least you're more inept than Tebbit. And... given that that heavy just ate it, the only unarmoured person here. YO ALIENS KEEP FOCUSING ON THE WEIRD ONE WITH NO GUN"
I realise at this point that I haven't actually enabled the mod that means that psionics requires line of sight.
That sounds like it makes things easier. Sure, here and now it does, but lategame in vanilla XCOM is 'mind control guy, use them to scout, mind control everyone scout finds'. So this basically evens out the legendary reverse difficulty curve to an extent.
Anyway, you already had the fun with Tebbit in Rome.


Scruff: "Man, I think this guy just wants to get away from it all. Fuckin' profound, I think."


Scruff: "OOOOKAY NEVERMIND"
Ryan: "So many Sectoids..."
Jam: "Oh yeah, well it's crawling with disks this side! Fuck you guys!"


Rand: "HAHA TAKE IT YOU TAX-AND-SNIPE LIBERAL SCUM i mean ohhh nooo i missed the cyberdisk and hit the traitor who threw a grenade at meee"


MacTavish: "TWICE?!"
Rand: "look man shit happens and sometimes i don't really care about the consequences??"


Ryan: "Either way, West is liberated."


Reference: "East, too."
Tebbit: "Hey, is someone-"


Jam: "Shit shit shit! Oppa is down! ... Fuck, so's Tebbit!"
MacTavish: "AND I WAS RIGHT HERE WITH THE FUCKING MEDKIT, MAYBE IF HAD NAE TAKEN TWO TO THE FUCKIN' HEAD"
Rand: "please be referred to my latest book, Silver Shrugged"


Mulder: "I've found the target! Couldn't bring him down."
Despotovic: "Arrgh, I fuckin' skied the shot!"
Jam: "Tryin' to draw a bead on him, but it's hard through this gas station... not that it stopped you, Fox... wait, did he just-"
Ryan: "Yeah."


Ryan: "Way back here, bitches."
Shades: "I'd be impressed, but you shot one of those civilians, too."
Ryan: "Hey, he's still alive, right?"


Ryan: "... Well, okay, but he died to alien fire! Hah! That's the important thing, right?"
Despotovic: "Yeah, found the guy who shot- wait, what?!"


Sanada: "Magic."
Scruff: "You shot him with that gigantic gun, while in turn blocking me from taking the shots from my gun, which is much faster than yours."
Sanada: "Magic."


Reference: "Looks like we've scoped out the area. Things look secure for the time being. Uh, Macca, care to come out and help us with the... bleeding?"
MacTavish: "Nah... I'll just... take a wee bit of a nap here..."
Reference: "S- seriously, bro?!"
these guys have been bleeding since the grenade. i did not at any point notice.


Despotovic: "Ugh, his shot sounded like it hit meat..."
Rand: "Yeahhh, right into Shades."
Despotovic: "Goddammit... ! Die, you little shit!"


and then everything in the area exploded
five guys join smokes/midichlorian/mayhem in the medbay
Casualties: Pvt. Corona Thorn, Crunk Fourtwenty, Captain Oppa Oppa, Commander Norman Tebbit, Pvt. Icebyrne Shades

Edited February 6, 2015 by Parrhesia

[#!/dev/haru]

Magical.

[Dandragon]

I sense more recruits may be necessary

[Integrity]

wow i made it to captain

[fengaridotdll]

A Cyberdisk mission that didn't involve an entire party wipe

AMAZING!

[Parrhesia]

A Cyberdisk mission that didn't involve an entire party wipe

AMAZING!

i get it, you have very low expectations of me in this game you seem never to have played, lol

[Wen Yang]

I'm surprised my guy is still living despite the explicit request to have him lead the way and die fittingly. >_>

[Dinkiniensis Pontifex]

Well at least Norman Tebbit had a great run. Time to draft up another character then.

Name: David Attenborough

Sex: Male

Class: Scout

Other: Normally a peaceful man, David was forced into the fight against the aliens. Despite his lack of combat experience, he often wades into the thick of the action, treating the exotic specimens he finds like the subjects of his many nature documentaries.

[Parrhesia]

I'm surprised my guy is still living despite the explicit request to have him lead the way and die fittingly. >_>

i too passive-aggressively pester lpers because they haven't gotten my character murdered yet

casual reminder that your guy was the breach on the last ufo power core

[Parrhesia]

RECRUIT

GEOSCAPE

Ryan, Scruff, Sanada and, surprisingly, Despotovic are the only guys left unwounded. The rest will sit out even if they're fit by the time the Skyranger's ready to move - because let's be real, I have a habit of dusting off without actually changing the craft's squad. Which, as it stands, is four guys. One unarmoured. Ryan has eight kills over her three missions, which is the most I've seen - Tebbit almost certainly had more, but not that kind of ratio and, well, he's dead now.

Mulder is literally in the medbay for 40 days lol

The vote's 4-2 for tanks atm but we don't have the money for tanks. Yet.

NOTHING HAPPENS FOR A VERY LONG TIME

ohhh baby. Soon.

We're out of cash for armour, so we sell all our obsolete gear for the princely sum of 'a bit more than a heavy plasma'.

We blow it all - and the ten plasma rifles I sell - on engineers. Building medkits costs like 25k. Selling them is around 40-50k. It's easy profit, and your engineers should be doing this whenever nothing else is available. Or you're broke. Which I am. Because I bought 20 engineers.

Apparently, by the way, workshops only have room for 46, not 50... ?

fucking f i n a l l y

btw you know the thing how i said i'd forget to change the craft? hahha yeah that happened

Present: Ryan, Guillotine, Cool, Mandown, Scruff, Gunn, Ironclad, Bren, Guinness, Darkhorse*, Sherman*, Sanada, Reydrin*, Despotovic

* - unarmoured

BATTLESCAPE

Ryan: "Huh. Quiet landing."

Mandown: "Not usually like this?"

Ryan: "Hah, you wouldn't fuckin' believe it."

Cool: "Guess they're all in the UFO..."

Scruff: "I mean, process of elimination..."

Mandown: "what the fuuuuuck"

Scruff: "Ugh, they got the meat. I liked that meat!"

Guillotine: "At least that was it en route... wish me luck, loves."

Guillotine: "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AWAY FROM THE DOOR YOU DUMB CUNT"

Guillotine: "Right side secure."

Cool: "Left's clear. Hey, where's our support?"

Gunn: "GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN' WAY, SCRUFF."

Scruff: "Mm... nah..."

Cool: "Oh, good morning, Vietnam..."

That's a stun rod in his left hand. Abducting, torturing and interrogating aliens is a key part to the game, but I've put it off for a while.

Cool: "Alright, can't quite carry you, but if I keep standing on your spine you can't do shit, right?"

This bloke turns out to be a Navigator. Aliens have a few classes - medics, navigators, probably another one, commanders and leaders. And, well, soldiers. The differences are fairly minimal except for certain races of commander/leader - the main differences are A) equipment, B) the researches they unlock when captured.

Guillotine blasts the last one in the back - and we have our first live alien.

We've had them alive before - just, not intentionally, and you can't take them back to base without a specialised containment facility. I probably need one of those in Funkytown someday.

Casualty: Getgood Mandown

Edited February 6, 2015 by Parrhesia

[fengaridotdll]

No joking about Reydrin's weird first name? That actually would have been funny

[riariadne]

Alright, I'm not fully caught up yet, but after mission 1 it appears this LP lost its required dosage of Slam.

Name: Thunder Slampage

Sex: Male

Class: Sniper

Other:

[Parrhesia]

No joking about Reydrin's weird first name? That actually would have been funny

Are you seriously expecting an Australian to feel anything but crippling contempt towards the concept of knighthood given current events

Alright, I'm not fully caught up yet, but after mission 1 it appears this LP lost its required dosage of Slam.

Name: Thunder Slampage

Sex: Male

Class: Sniper

Other:

Thank you.

[Person123]

I place great faith in this third guy. Well not really.

Name: Steve Jones

Sex: Male

Class: Scout

Other: An average man with no outstanding characteristics...with one exception. He has great hair. Certainly his gorgeous, golden hair will lead the forces of X-com to victory.

[fengaridotdll]

I place great faith in this third guy. Well not really.

Name: Steve Jones

Sex: Male

Class: Scout

Other: An average man with no outstanding characteristics...with one exception. He has great hair. Certainly his gorgeous, golden hair will lead the forces of X-com to victory.

INSPIRATIONAL HAIR POWERS, ACTIVATE!

[Parrhesia]

Shit, I really hope that guy gets the stereotypical XCOM hair. Impossible to tell until you see an inventory screen, and that's battlescape-only, I'm afraid.

Either way, new recruits are always a good thing.

[Parrhesia]

GEOSCAPE

eyyy

anyway we splash a small ufo.

BATTLESCAPE

oh no. i saw something in those shadows.
Ryan: "Hey, anyone else see some weird robed thing prowling about?"


Guillotine: "Huh. Um. Fire?"


Scruff: "Uhhh... ?"


Scruff: "i shot it and it didnt die help"
Ironclad: "Sorry, mate, I-"
knelt, lost direct line of fire, i clicked wildly around the ethereal, managed to shoot at the tile next to the ethereal, he 'hit' his shots pretty accurately
Ironclad: "- missed."


Guinness: "AAAAAAAA"
... apparently only two aliens were there since when Scruff wasted his guy the mission ended. Ironclad was shot, though.


The ranks are starting to round out now that we have like, actual surviving guys now. Starting. We still have more Colonels than Sergeants, and no Corporals or Lieutenants assuming they're ranks in the game.

Field promotions is weird and I'm turning it off.

GEOSCAPE

hey two big boats, one's coming right for us, oh shit oh shit oh shi-


thank christ.
The aliens can attack your bases. This is a bad thing.


HELL YEAH BABY
Best weapons in the game by far. Autocannon have been underwhelming so far - even heavies might have their options re-evaluated, but in the meantime every non-medic is getting these. And non-scout. You can't trust scouts with these.


wait
w h a t


??????????????????????????????????????????????????????


fuck, let's just try shooting down everything - too many things have run away recently


ahahaha


okay no sadly our interceptor is basically dead. we need to get that firestorm made. Time to head to both!

BATTLESCAPES

Mulletman: "I heard floatin' over by that shade!"
*pew*
Mulletman: "I heard screamin' over by that shade!"
Ryan: "Nice work. Now let's fan out."


Cool: "Hey, that shadow shot at us! Ineptly."


Scruff: "I see an enemy! ... I think!"
Times like this you have to flail around the cursor until the red scope icon becomes a yellow scope icon.


Cool: "Ooh... I sense a breach."


Cool: "aw no"


*PEW*
Cool: "OH MY GOD"
*PEW*
Cool: "HOLY FUCK"
*PEW*
Cool: "AAAA"
*PEW*
Cool: "FUCK"
*PEW*
Cool: "CUNT"
*PEW*
Cool: "COCKS"
Bren: "H- holy shit... you just... she..."
Ryan: "SIX SHOTS TO THE BACK?! And fuckin'... YOU live?"
Sanada: "Magic."
Ryan: "You didn't even fucking see it happen!"


Cool: "Weird."


Gunn: "Hell, this is easy!"


Gunn: "Hah! We're all invincible, baby! Eat shit, you floaty little bitch!"


Ryan: "err"
Ryan: "nobody saw that, right"
Bren: "WHAT THE FUCK"
Ryan: "oookay, so somebody saw that."


Cool: "Hey, this elevator's brilliant! ... Hey, shit, I missed, but guess what?! Three lives left, bitches!"
*PEW*
Cool: "T- two lives left, bitches!"
*PEW*
Cool: "One... life..."


Ryan: "They keep walking out the front door... christ, just padding up my killcount by this stage."
Bren: "HEY ASSHOLE IS THAT ALIEN-ONLY KILLCOUNT OR JUST, HELL, ANYTHING, MURDERER"
Ryan: "Oh, get over it! I slipped! It wasn't even a good guy!"


Guillotine: "oh hello there sir"
Bren: "I'LL SAVE YOU ohhh man, not the time for my hamstring to go-"


Scruff: "What's going on here?! I heard, like, a lot of gun."
Guillotine: "He shot him! ... And then he's going to shoot me!"


Despotovic: "Hey, guys. Y'know what?"
Ryan: "What?"
Despotovic: "FUCK narrow corridors."
Reydrin: "Good thing none of us are claustrophobic, eh?"
Darkhorse: "Y- yeah, haha, g- good thing, yeah, s- since none of us... are... and that is good... ahhh..."


Opened the door - one stunned, one down. Despotovic killed on overwatch when he tried to clear the doorway, but it was clean aside from that.
But, y'know what?


Let's give that tank a spin.
I just realised this squad doesn't have flares. I already knew they didn't have armour.
Eh.


In attendance: ZsaZsa Szucs (original name. shout-out to hungary.), Maudlin Blunthouse, Saturn Roundhouse, Ironclad Law, Juniper Macbeth, Guard Barreltown, Thrush Sweetriff, Emerald Ironclaw, Jade Southpaw, Rook Watergate, Tank Commander Rough Axejaw


Axejaw: "Takin' fire from every conceivable angle here. You boys reckon you could help, like, at all?"


Szucs: "I really like this plane, actually."
Roundhouse: "I love this plane! I also hate the night."
Blunthouse: "My love for planes is the equal and opposite reaction to my hate for the night."


Law: "AAAAAAARGH holy shit, I got one! Guys, I got one!"


Axejaw: "Fuck you, alien scum."


MacBeth: "LAW IS DOWN! Fuck, man. That's a real downer."


Southpaw: "Shit, man, this is awful! How're you doing, tank?"
Axejaw: "SITUATION ESCALATING RAPIDLY"


Axejaw: "They're easy meat now!"
*fwooosh*
Axejaw: "uhhh BELAY THAT"


Blunthouse: "this all sucks"


MacBeth: "Shit... it's just the four of us?"
Ironclaw: "Looks that way. At least the outside seems clear. Wish the tank could've followed us in..."
Blunthouse: "Yeah, well I reckon the four of us can still clear this place. Just a matter of elbow grease."
Sweetriff: "Yeah, and blind luck... shit, I heard those guys in Europe do this shit for fun! Have it down to a sick, twisted, perverted science."
MacBeth: "Sure. But we got a tank."
Blunthouse: "Past tense."
MacBeth: "We HAD a tank. Now cowering in the Skyranger. It's... I mean, if we die, at least there's someone left to pilot the 'ranger out of here, right?"
Blunthouse: "That's extremely scant fucking consolation."


Blunthouse: "At least the... power dildos or whatever are working. They told us loot was important."


Sweetriff: "ohh no"
MacBeth: "Shoot! SHOOT!"
Sweetriff: "AAGH- ! Shit. Christ. They CAN die."


MacBeth: "Alright. Just this room left. Come on, guys, we can DO this, I KNOW it."


MacBeth: "ohhh you stupid cunt"


Blunthouse: "OORAH, BITCHES- wait, what"
Ironclaw: "Nobody home?"
Sweetriff: "Then that means..."


Axejaw: "S- SOMETHING'S OUT HERE!"


Axejaw: "Direct hit. Hail to the king, baby."
Sweetriff: "You can't just change tone like that, you know."


Ironclaw: "THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS! LIGHT HIM THE FUCK UP!"


A popup showed up: 'Floater Engineer has gone berserk.'
Ironclaw: "I hear firing, I hear firing!"
Sweetriff: "From ... outside? Not too far away, either."


MacBeth: "No, NO! He came... so fucking far..."
Sweetriff: "Come on, let's avenge him! Oo-fucking-rah!"


fucking hell.
Casualties from the Fort Kanye Garrison: Thompson Gunn, 'Fifty' Callum Bren, Rudeboy Mulletman, Steeltower Cool, Ranko Despotovic
Casualties from the Funky Town Garrison: Ironclad Law, ZsaZsa Szucs, Saturn Roundhouse, Guard Barreltown, Jade Southpaw, Rook Watergate, Maudlin Blunthouse

[Daichi]

Ryan is doing surprisingly well. Besides that one fuck up.

[Parrhesia]

GEOSCAPE

Very long and involved geoscape update today-

BATTLESCAPE

Smokes: "Alright, lads - going in quietly is not an option! Charge!"


Mayhem: "Hey, nothing's on fire yet..."
Jam: "This is less property damage than we usually do."
Mayhem: "I know! I'm disappointed!"


Civilian: <"Heeere kitty kitty kitty...">
Midichlorian: "Jesus christ that child is talking to the reaper."
Sherman: "I guess he... Don't Fear The Reaper. Heh."
Reference: "Haha, more cowbell, am I right? Hah!"
Ryan: "Jesus christ, Smokes just died over there."
Midichlorian: "... oh"


Ryan: "And I don't know what this prick's gonna do, except 'die in the crossfire.'"
Guinness: "Shit, we need to save him! I joined XCOM ... well, because I was press-ganged from the Belfast Police, but also to save lives!"
Sanada: "Do you know what will get us out of this situation?"
Ryan: "Ugh, let me guess, mag-"
Sanada: "Magic."


Ryan: "Fuck, couldn't down the reaper in two shots. Someone help me clean up."
Midichlorian: "You just... you just killed that child..."
Ryan: "I'm fucking medic corps, not a marksman! What do you want from me?!"


Midichlorian: "Huh. My follow-up shot... blew something up."
Ryan: "That's promising. Go investigate."


Sanada: "It's time to showcase my brilliance in action. Targetting sensors, off-"
Sherman: "You really think we get targetting sensors?"
Sanada: "Trust in the Force..."


Sherman: "Holy shit. You actually made the shot."
Sanada: "Magic."
Sherman: "Nevermind! I'm right back to wanting to shoot you."


Ryan: "Big ol' orange badonkadonk at the end of this alleyway, someone go deal with it. Speaking of - Jam, you know what to do with the child's body."
Guinness: "... Wait, what?"


Jam: "Stand clear, everyone."
Guinness: "Wh- what the fuck?!"


Ryan: "Spontaneous combustion's a bitch, eh lads?"
Midichlorian: "Oh, now that is TOTALLY a war crime."
Ryan: "Yeah? So?"


Scruff: "Hey, a live captive to torture!"
Midichlorian: "I'll never get used to this place."


Sanada: "I'm on fire tonight. Must be the three cans of Red Bull and last night's Sailor Moon marathon."


Guillotine: "HELP HELP HELP FUCK"


But Reference shoots him through the window, and that's a wrap. A basically perfect mission.
Casualties: Eagle Smokes

[Parrhesia]

RECRUITS

"heard some cunts needed to get fucked up??"
changed his first-name to something far more australian. all these guys are in america base btw


i mean i figured you weren't talking about goddamn vito here.


the hair, manny


this is by far my favourite real person signup so far btw


Not a thread signup but lmao that was her default name

GEOSCAPE

We conduct an interrogation of the Floater Leader. Sadly, leaders of that species have... little to say. I decide to knock through the autopsies anyway.


I'm starting to suspect
... So I dismantle the workshop I was making in Funky Town. One day into its creation. No big deal.
Right?
It doesn't refund me /shit/.
and then it turns out this also applies to 'having clicked at all and deciding you want a better placement'
160000 down the drain for literally no reason. haha, i want to die.


"They're also bad, beta fighters"


ahaha yeah the aliens are fucked up.


XCOM is fucked up but the aliens are worse.


And our first plot research of the game.
It seems as though I... massively jumped the gun, interrogated the floater leader before it would actually be useful. Oh, and when you interrogate aliens, they end up FUCKING. DEAD. Which is nice, but right now? Inconvenient.
This is like the most incompetent Geoscape update ever, I suck.


Haha, man. This fucking world.


So the aliens' geoscape actions are actually quite sophisticated - all ships have a mission. Research is generally what the scouts do - just mapping the earth, basically.

Eventually, the aliens strike on Tehran.

FORT KANYE


Swapped around some snipers to get Mulder and Rand back in. This A-team will be handling the terror, to nobody's surprise.

FUNKY TOWN


I love how much worse the quality of American recruits has turned out. All those scouts!

KILLCOUNTS
Midichlorian: 4 kills, 2 missions.
Ryan: 15 for 7.
Guillotine: 7 for 5
MacTavish: 4 for 7
Reference: 6 for 6
Scruff: 5 for 7
Jam: 4 for 4
Sherman: 1 for 4 holy shit
Mulder: 4 for 4
Sanada: 4 for 7
Rand: 4 for 4
Darkhorse: 1 for 4
Reydrin: 1 for 4
Mayhem: 0 for 2

MacBeth: 4 kills, 1 mission.
Sweetriff: 3 for 1
Ironclaw: 3 for 1

BATTLESCAPE

oh fuck.


Midichlorian: "What the shit."
Fun fact - these things are basically immune to plasma and explosives. Fun fact - this is the first mission I gave heavy plasmas to my snipers for.



Sherman: "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD"
Rand: "Keep moving, keep moving! MacTavish dropped a smoke as he... died..."


Reference: "Ngh..."
Rand: "No time to waste, you need to keep fighting! Did anyone see where Guillotine fell?"
Darkhorse: "Fuck, I dropped one of the robed guys, but these fucking..."
Mayhem: "Olga's on the bridge!"
Rand: "I've got her. Fucking Sanada pegged her in the fucking back-"
Sanada: "I needed to take the shot!"


Darkhorse: "I got another one, but... but... J- Jam is down in the crossfire..."


Reydrin: "Sanada's down, these fucking walkers just don't stop!"
Rand: "There, you're up, now you have to- AGH!"
Guillotine: "S- Silver?!"


Mulder; "Oh God, oh God..."
Sherman: "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO"
Reydrin: "I'M GONNA FUCK YOU ALL UP, FUCKIN' COME GET SOME"
Guillotine: "Christ... jesus christ... save us all..."


Reydrin: "Mulder... oh, fuck..."


Guillotine: "We're all damned... all of us... aha..."
Reydrin: "GET IN THE RANGER, OLGA! I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER!"







Casualties: Private Hulk Midichlorian, Captain Casey Ryan, Captain Olga Guillotine, Commander Hamish MacTavish, Captain Tired Reference, Colonel Daniel Scruff, Private C. Jam, Private Stonewall Sherman, Colonel Fox Mulder, Sergeant Harudoku Sanada, Private Silver Rand, Private Swag Darkhorse, Sergeant Magnum Mayhem

Edited February 7, 2015 by Parrhesia

[Integrity]

jesus christ

only steve blum can save us now

[Daichi]

Aaaaand I had to jinx it.

Should probably make another guy.

Name: Dennis Ryan

Gender: Male

Class: Sniper or Shock

Other: Casey's brother. Extremely kind.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Daichi