finished Let's Play: OpenXCOM - UFO Defense

[Integrity]

also we will need a tank and that tank can only be manned by welkin 'welks' gunther

[Person123]

I think Reydrin might suffer from PTSD after this.

[Excellen Browning]

I was about to write I was amused by my character surviving for so lng, but then he fukken died.

Name: Alexander Mugabe

Sex: Male

Class: Scout

Other: XCOM's (I think) first African recruit. Considering the commander is Australian and therefore a racist, attempts on his life will probably be made.

[Parrhesia]

I was about to write I was amused by my character surviving for so lng, but then he fukken died.

Name: Alexander Mugabe

Sex: Male

Class: Scout

Other: XCOM's (I think) first African recruit. Considering the commander is Australian and therefore a racist, attempts on his life will probably be made.

wow

we're only racist towards other asians tyvm #stoptheboats

[TheMoniker]

HEY WE'RE FINALLY DOING GOOD WE'RE ONLY GETTING 1 CASUALTY PER MISSION NOW

*cue total party wipe*

Okay, I'll make another recruit template:

Name: Bobby JimJam

Sex: Male

Class: Sniper

Other: He is a master of shooter...games. He's sure his knowledge of Mortal Kombat will save him.

[fengaridotdll]

So many causalties... And Reydrin was one of the sole survivors

Poor guy

Wait, he actually was the sole survivor. inb4 a movie is made about his time in XCOM

Edited February 8, 2015 by The Dark Armorknight

[Blasied]

Name: Tony Abbott

Sex: Male

Class: Don't care

Other: Stop the UFOs! Stop the UFOs!

And some others who are less likely to die quickly and horribly

Name: Henrik Nevalainen

Sex: Male

Class: Not Scout

Other: Fuck yeah, Finland bitches!

Name: Maria Burns

Sex: Female

Class: Not sniper

Other: Possible pyromaniac (I am not in despair about my surname generating ability, no really)

[fengaridotdll]

Name: Torian Voidborn

Sex: Male

Class: Sniper

Other: Loyal to his name, he prefers striking from the shadows

[Daichi]

Should have asked this earlier, but what happened to Ryan anyway?

[Parrhesia]

Should have asked this earlier, but what happened to Ryan anyway?

From memory she was one of those that died on overwatch fire as she stepped out of the UFO. I really wish the smokes could explode on the first turn - might have been a better idea to just hurl two smokes and weather the enemy phase storm, but c'est la vie.

[Excellen Browning]

wow

we're only racist towards other asians tyvm #stoptheboats

To be honest, that was the angle I was going for.

If it makes you more comfortable, I could turn him into an aboriginal.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Excellen Browning

[Parrhesia]

If it makes you more comfortable, I could turn him into an aboriginal.

I mean, let's be real, I'm not sure race has ever been brought up in this LP.

[eclipse]

also we will need a tank and that tank can only be manned by welkin 'welks' gunther

FUCK. YES.

Ahem. . .Cloudberry Jam did a hell of a job, and then she died.

Name: Ragna

Sex: Male

Class: Shock

Other: C. Jam's IRL brother, who'd get into arguments with her over which fighting game was the best. Changed his name to spite her.

[Parrhesia]

GEOSCAPE

So the Hyperwave Decoder. Very useful, a plot thing in XCOM 2012, but... at that price, a luxury we can't afford.

This jack of all trades can't do either particularly well. Sadly.

"Ultimate Craft?" Now that's far more intriguing...

For now, though, we shoot down an enemy UFO. That'll be enough.

... not enough for an update of course, because...

What's that green thing? Let's find out.

... After we finish researching the Ultimate Craft, mind.

So there's five alien races. One's not been seen so far.

We have to pray it's not Ethereals.

We have... ten armour to go around. All the shocks and snipers get them. So, sorry Judges/Grunt/Agate/Muscle.

The new Fort Kanye squad.

BATTLESCAPE

I want to die.

So I drop a smoke and they murder me unerringly. Remember the mission which went so badly I just wanted to kill one Cyberdisc? That was because they're immune to anything besides lasers and plasma.

Lasers are a Sectopod's only weakness and it still ate like 10 shots without flinching, meanwhile everyone dies and panics in the smoke grenade.

who cares anymore, fuck delhi

i've reloaded like three times all LP and hell, this is gonna be one of them.

GEOSCAPE

YEAH BABY

LOOK AT THAT EVERYTHING

IT EVEN MURDERS THINGS, I LITERALLY FORGOT THAT IT WAS A COMBAT SHIP, JESUS.

OH MY GOD.

TWENTY SIX FUCKING CAPACITY

worth

every

cent

The green dude was a Muton - heavy infantry of the aliens. Any fight against them is the sort of honest firefight I relish. No psionics, no... good terror units, nothing.

A UFO lands near America.

... Very briefly, then we shoot it the fuck down.

it's a lone ethereal.

But there's a massive UFO that a Firestorm... barely takes down just outside Fort Kanye. This'll be a rough one.

BATTLESCAPE

Hardgrit: "Early contact - that bodes well."

Guinness: "Eh... I've seen worse."

Thor: "Hardchain's down! What the fuck?!"

Muzzleflare: "Safe breach... this place looks really fucked up."

Coppershag: "Not surprised. Sounded like a hell of a dogfight, the way the Firestorm crew told it."

Overthrone: "I hate grenades."

Hilariously, Corinthians, the guy who died, apparently has the squad's only medkit.

Brofist: "Literally what is the point in this room."

Bondfield: "I see one up here! Back's turned! I-"

misclicked

Bondfield: "- missed!"

Ironclad: "I'm comin' in to flank-"

Muzzleflare: "God damn it, I'll come help-"

Thor: "I HEARD EXPLOSIONS."

Guinness: "fuck fuck fuck fuck"

Firefist: "Eat shit, cunts!"

After much reorganisation

Brofist: "Yeah, Muzzleflare and Bondfield are fine. Just... out of it, even after I pumped 'em full of stims."

Guinness: "See you took their gun, though..."

Brofist: "Yeah, I've been noticing the autocannons they gave us are fucking dogshit."

Firefist: "Well, the outside's secure. Seems like, anyway."

Guinness: "This shit's grotesque. Wish Reydrin was here to see this, might add a bit more spine to this unit."

Brofist: "What happened to him?"

Guinness: "Shellshock. I mean, hell, we all are a bit, aren't we? He'll be back."

Guinness: "And I could've sworn there was another floor..."

Brofist: "... Wait, shit. That elevator I found earlier? That... I think that might have gone higher."

Guinness: "You're joking."

Ironfist: "Well, this floor's clear, and if the outside is, too..."

Brofist: "This has to be it, right?"

No, but a guy off to the west was! Guinness handles it.

It's the first kill for the 'veteran' in his seven missions what the fuck

Casualties: Judges Corinthians, Grunt Hardchain, Grav Hardgrit, Brigand Ironclad, Marque Shale, Ignatio Thor, Muscle Coppershag

Edited February 8, 2015 by Parrhesia

[fengaridotdll]

Holy crap, a rating that isn't OK or Terrible

[Parrhesia]

Holy crap, a rating that isn't OK or Terrible

But Reference shoots him through the window, and that's a wrap. A basically perfect mission.

[fengaridotdll]

Or Good, whatever

[Parrhesia]

But last update only had Good and Okay, so... ?

[Rehab]

New recruit: Lofwyr Painaway

Class: medic if the class isn't saturated, any otherwise

Gender: any

Other: volunteer. If killed in the line of duty, leave the body where it lies

[euklyd]

Name: Fisheye
Sex: M
Class: Heavy
Other: Glass eye. Totes around a hypervelocity heavy plasma system from Ng Security Industries, Inc., and really shouldn't be using it in the field.

Or in populated areas.

...or near other soldiers.

Hopes the alien scum will listen to reason.

[MacLovin]

Name: Sharpy

Sex: M

Class: Shock/Sniper, if those are oversaturated, then go with Medic/gunner.

Other: The most generic looking guy ever. However, he's a loveable psychopath who hears voices that can sometimes assist him.

[Balcerzak]

Watching Parrhesia heckle back the hecklers is almost as entertaining as reading the updates. Good work on those, btw. I really should pick this game up at some point, considering I liked the XCom Enemy Unknown.

[Parrhesia]

Watching Parrhesia heckle back the hecklers is almost as entertaining as reading the updates. Good work on those, btw. I really should pick this game up at some point, considering I liked the XCom Enemy Unknown.

Cheers mate

Yeah, and if you do (it's five bucks on Steam) I strongly recommend OpenXCOM. As I might have mentioned earlier, the most gamechanging option is the ability to have psionics require line of sight, which... basically means there is an interesting endgame. But there's just a lot of minor helpful tweaks in general. The game's worth picking up, IMO.

[Parrhesia]

today's background music is Kanye West. it is also the background music to the next 3.5 updates.

RECRUITS

GEOSCAPE

sorry india

Y

E

S

We get an influx of recruits (back up to 30 guys? maybe 35?) after building a laser cannon tank.

I didn't know what the Grav Shield was so I researched it. So, if aliens attack your base, you can have static defences to try and fuck them up before they land. Never used them. Base defences are fun! Anyway, this is useless lol

http://youtu.be/vDlMLqdvHzI

Anyway, we blow up a small UFO over America!

BATTLESCAPE

Cargo: "Shit, man. I've heard about these things."

MacBeth: "Hah... mate, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Ironclaw: "We've got good positions, flares out nicely... I'm likin' the feel of this mission."

Sweetriff: "But there's a guy down in that barn! Can't quite see him, but he did try to take a shot..."

Axejaw: "Can you see him now?"

Sweetriff: "Jesus."

There's actually two there! One in shadow. That's... that's all. We kill them and go home. But almost immediately we shoot down another small UFO.

I think Aggressive Attack might be the reason I've lost so many air battles. I forget to get a screen of our squad, but it includes a lot of the new recruits - not the tank, though. Not yet.

Blum: "Rrgh... what the fuc-"

I misclick to start the mission before properly equipping everyone. Then I misclick to move Blum out of the UFO. I throw good units after bad, and Jam gets killed on overwatch. I'm sensing a theme here, and move Painaway into the ranger. Except that I misclick, and he gets killed on overwatch.

There has been a lot of criticism levelled at me for things that aren't my fault. Criticise this kind of shit instead.

Helmsdeep: "Shit, three guys dead... to fuckin' greys! It's a fuckin' insult!"

Muzzleflare: "We call them 'sectoids' here, Duchess."

Slampage: "This area has been thoroughly liberated. Oorah!"

Reydrin: "Dennis... Dennis Ryan? I knew your sister, Dennis."

Ryan: "I know, sir. This is the fourth time you've told me this. She knew the risks, and so do I."

Reydrin: "She was a true warrior. True... honest... brave... d- died in front of me, there was nothing I could do, can still remember every... every droplet of blood spattering over-"

Ryan: "Are you... alright, sir?"

Burns: "MAN YOU SURE HAVE CHOSEN A TIME AND PLACE TO SHOW UP, TIME TO SAY GOODNIGHT."

Burns: "He was all like 'bleep bloop don't tase me bro' and I was like 'TOO BAD BITCH bzzzzzt' and-"

Guinness: "No, you king-hit him when he walked out of a door."

Burns: "Same diff, man!"

Reydrin: "All the bodies... so cold..."

Ryan: "... Colonel?"

Casualties: Steven Jay Blum, Lofwyr Painaway, Ragna Jam

We splash another small in the US soon afterwards! Same squad as the last US mission.

why

Axejaw: "Uhhh... fuck this shit!"

Ironclaw: "Just come back to us. We'll set up to break him when he comes into sight."

Jones: "OH GOD. I'm... okay... but dizzy as fuck..."

Jones: "So let me get this straight."

Ironclaw: "Sure."

Jones: "I got hit full in the head by an alien flashbang."

Ironclaw: "Right."

Jones: "I'm the only person in the squad without armour."

Ironclaw: "Sorry."

Jones: "The other scout is a fuckin' septagenarian."

Ironclaw: "Okay."

Jones: "And I'M on fucking breach duty?!"

Ironclaw: "Yep."

Jones: "s h i t"

Ironclaw: "SHOOT!"

Jones: "Okay! One, two, three! ... ... Four! Aaand two into the corpse. Perfect."

Ironclaw: "You'll fit right in here."

Attenborough: "Fascinating... the predatory instinct of the Ethereal is so fierce that it does not fear masses of the enemy, but charges straight in, relying on missed shots to still hit their target - apologies to the unfortunate Private Thymes - and their overwatch to hit and, indeed, kill their own herd in the crossfire!"

Ironclaw: "Yeah, you didn't see that happen."

Sweetriff: "Forget that - charge!"

Ironclaw kills the plasma guy, Sweetriff bursts through the door and murders the stun guy. Too easy.

Casualties: Clutch Cargo, Desperate Thymes

Edited February 11, 2015 by Parrhesia

[Parrhesia]

GEOSCAPE

YOU ENTER TO A CLUSTERFUCK

We don't win. Laser weapons are obsolete.

Fuck.

After buzzing around for a while, they finally land...

We get the one on the right with the last squad plus two new guys - McCann and Lugosi. But there's still time to do one research before landing...

"Gonna start putting these on shocks," thinks Parrhesia. "Rifles will need less time units to fire, you see."

The only difference between TUs taken to fire rifles and heavies, as it happens, is that rifles take one more percentage of time units to fire bursts. And have roughly +5% accuracy in order to do less damage and be less common.

Damn.

BATTLESCAPE

I HATE ETHEREALS

they killed Lugosi on overwatch. A rocket kills one, Michael Corleone the other.

Sweetriff: "Shit, taking overwatch fire in the dark is giving me bad memories... thanks for the flare."

Corleone: "Hey, you need a favour done for you? I'm your guy."

Sweetriff: "Nah, I got it."

Drongo: "Aw what the fuck?! Cunt got dropped from bullshit far out!"

Drongo: "YOU BEAUTY! Who can make a shot like that? This cunt can!"

MacBeth: "Is Corleone dead?"

Drongo: "Shit, probably."

Sweetriff: "..."

Ironclaw: "..."

Jones: "Hah! Did you both seriously miss that in... ooh, six for you, seven for you? Who gets it in the end? It's the hair, baby! These sick dreads are too goddamn slick for any y'all to comprehe-"

Ironclaw: "Do you want to breach the UFO or do you want me to fucking shoot you here and now?"

Axejaw: "X-Ray spotted, not twenty yards away! And X-Ray... neutrali- ... uh..."

Ironclaw: "... Yes?"

Axejaw: "i missed"

Ironclaw: "I hate you."

Axejaw: "help"

Axejaw: "I HEARD AN EXPLOSION HELP AAA"

Drongo: "FUCKIN' BEAUTY OF A FLANK, GET IN- ah, shit, missed."

MacBeth: "Nah I got... it... oh my god."

McCann: "What?"

MacBeth: "Pf... pff.... ahahaha! It had a fuckin' stun launcher!"

McCann: "oh my god"

Ironclaw: "You shat yourself over a fucking stun launcher?! In a TANK?!"

Axejaw: "THE AREA. IS SECURE. AND FUCK YOU GUYS."

Ironclaw: "Man, that put me in such a good mood, I'm almost of a mind to do breach duty myself!"

Jones: "Really, skipper?"

Ironclaw: "Nah."

Jones: "Fuck."

Ironclaw: "Less chatter, more batter, Hair, get that fucking door down."

Jones: "AAAAAAA- !"

Attenborough: "It's simply beautiful to watch the Ethereals at work. Truly merciless, the way they gunned down the weakest of the herd to try and demoralise the rest. These creatures truly do prey on fear. They also... uh... seem... fairly resistant to laser fire..."

Ironclaw: "I'll deal with it, rookie."

eyyy

Casualties: Bella Lugosi, Michael Corleone, Captain Steve Jones

Edited February 11, 2015 by Parrhesia