Owain_the_swordsman Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 My dad has smoked probably since I was born. When he was married wth my mom, he has lot of hair, no problem with it. That was before he smoked. A few years later, he lost his hair, and started becoming addicted.What are some things I should say to talk him out of it?I'm just worried about him, and I'm too scared to talk about it with him. The closest thing I've ever said to him about smoking is "Why do you smoke?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishi Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hmm yes smoking is rather a big problem course not as big as back in the day but still big in all honesty a good way to break addiction is with new addiction take my friend for example he smoked for 6 years but slowly got into gum and coca cola and now doesn't even touch a smoke so maybe get him into other stuff. Also there are those nicotine patches and stuff I heard they work well athough you may have trouble convincing him to use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) this is not really the place to ask this kind of question if you want good answers the first thing you should do is evaluate your dad's attitudes on his smoking. figure out if he's even ready to talk about it on a level beyond waving it off. see if it bothers him, see if he's aware that it bothers you or other people, and see if he's in the right mindset to tackle his nicotine addiction. if he's in the right mindset, then of course the appropriate thing to recommend on a fire emblem forum is to have him talk to a doctor about quitting. it's possible to quit without the guidance of a medical professional, but you do it at your own risk. if he's not in the right mindset, then you should try to have open and honest conversations about your dad's smoking. try not to get angry with him and try not to prod so hard that he gets angry with you. if he's not prepared to recognize his problem, then he can be defensive. habits are hard to kick and you can't force people to stop them; the best you can do is encourage them. and of course don't go behind his back; that's a great way to break down trust. Edited January 29, 2015 by dondon151 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magical CC Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 He will quit if he truly wants to quit. If not, he will never quit smoking. There's nothing you or doctor can do until his health starts showing the signs. If you truly believe you can talk your father to meet the doctor, you can try with your own risk. "Why do you smoke?" is a really naive question. He can find 100 answers for your question that may or may not make any sense but he will make sure that you will not ask further. My father is also a heavy smoker. When he told me to stop drinking soft drinks because it's bad for my health, I told him to stop smoking first then we can talk about my bad habit. And of course, he rages every damn time. It doesnt help anything but the feeling of burning his ass was so great that it's totally worth it. Meanwhile, my friend's father still smoke after the "son to father talk" but only when he's alone or when he's in the garden to make sure that his family will not be affected by the smoke. My advice is buy him more cigarettes and stay away from him whenever he smokes. After a few year, when losing hair is the least thing he has to worry, you can talk to him again about quitting smoking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 aaand of course this is why you go to SF for advice on personal problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirmola Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 aaand of course this is why you go to SF for advice on personal problems. Yeah. None of us are experts. I did find the experts of the Columbia University health office addressing a similar question, however. have a link: http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/convincing-someone-give-smokingFair warning: the situation is different (the parent is trying to convince their child to give it up), so the advice might not transfer directly. You can always submit a question to that site if you still need help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owain_the_swordsman Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 aaand of course this is why you go to SF for advice on personal problems. Atleast I put this on serious discussion.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 that person literally told you to buy your dad cigs and stop contact until he gets the picture. it's difficult to imagine a worse suggestion. i can't give much advice on the issue, even though my mom was a smoker for 30 yrs and has been...8 months w/ out a cigarette? i can't provide anything past "speak to your dad about seeing a doctor." communicating with your dad without making it seem like he is a villain will bring higher chances of success. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magical CC Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Atleast I put this on serious discussion.. And I am serious too. He's the villain and if you cant say it right to his face then it's best to let him has his way until it's too late for him to regret. If he is the kind of father that you have trouble bringing stuff up or having a man-to-man talk, do you honestly believe he will do what you say even if it's coated in sugar? If losing hair is not serious enough for him to bring his own ass to the hospital than you think can talk him to go to the doctor? Each man has to have responsibility for his own actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterIceTeaPeach Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I had / still have the same problem. I asked for my parents to stop smoking over and over (I think 10 years ago), because it caused me headaches and breathing trouble. Though I never was succesful. They still smoked and thanks to the second hand smoke I'm asthmatic now. Now they smoke less than formely, but it doesn't help me at all anymore. Smoking doesn't only make you sick, but it also ruins your wallet. Cigarettes are one of the nastiest things on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 And I am serious too. He's the villain and if you cant say it right to his face then it's best to let him has his way until it's too late for him to regret. If he is the kind of father that you have trouble bringing stuff up or having a man-to-man talk, do you honestly believe he will do what you say even if it's coated in sugar? If losing hair is not serious enough for him to bring his own ass to the hospital than you think can talk him to go to the doctor? Each man has to have responsibility for his own actions. There's a difference between being an ass, being tactful, and "sugar-coating" - you seem to completely miss the middle ground, and as long as you do, your advice will be terrible. TC knows his dad best (well, better than us). Now, TC. . .can't speak for the smoking, as everyone in my family either quit well before I was born, or I have no contact with them. Instead, observe your mom and dad. How do they speak to each other? What differences do you in their actions in public, as opposed to in your own home? How does he treat you, as opposed to others about your age? If you have siblings, does he treat any of them differently, and why? Your goal is to build a mental profile of how your dad views you, as well as what he responds to (in terms of listening). And lastly. . .it's possible that his lack of hair and smoking may be unrelated. For example, my father doesn't smoke, and his hair is thinning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 this is not really the place to ask this kind of question if you want good answers the first thing you should do is evaluate your dad's attitudes on his smoking. figure out if he's even ready to talk about it on a level beyond waving it off. see if it bothers him, see if he's aware that it bothers you or other people, and see if he's in the right mindset to tackle his nicotine addiction. if he's in the right mindset, then of course the appropriate thing to recommend on a fire emblem forum is to have him talk to a doctor about quitting. it's possible to quit without the guidance of a medical professional, but you do it at your own risk. if he's not in the right mindset, then you should try to have open and honest conversations about your dad's smoking. try not to get angry with him and try not to prod so hard that he gets angry with you. if he's not prepared to recognize his problem, then he can be defensive. habits are hard to kick and you can't force people to stop them; the best you can do is encourage them. and of course don't go behind his back; that's a great way to break down trust. best advice in this thread it's really not your problem to solve. you cannot force your father to do anything about it. the best you can hope for is that he recognises it as a problem. if anything you could have a calm talk about it, but remember, it's him who decides to quit smoking. all you can really do is encourage him, maybe point him towards some more professional help. coming off a nicotine addiction can be both emotionally and physically extenuating, so just show him your support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 (edited) And I am serious too. He's the villain and if you cant say it right to his face then it's best to let him has his way until it's too late for him to regret. If he is the kind of father that you have trouble bringing stuff up or having a man-to-man talk, do you honestly believe he will do what you say even if it's coated in sugar? If losing hair is not serious enough for him to bring his own ass to the hospital than you think can talk him to go to the doctor? Each man has to have responsibility for his own actions. yeah dude addictions are just easy to quit, you just need to switch it off, bing bang boom done.\ get the fuck out lol Edited January 31, 2015 by dondon151 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magical CC Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 yeah dude addictions are just easy to quit, you just need to switch it off, bing bang boom done.\ get the fuck out lol Yeah, I dont care if addictions are easy to quit or not. It's your fault to get addicted. And it's your responsibility to quit or die with it. If you dont want to quit and want to die with it, fine. But if your addiction also affects me, it will be my responsibility to tell it straight to your face. Btw, it's up to what kind of addictions we are talking about. Some are way easier to quit than the others. Also, why dont you try to "sugar coating" talk to me if you think what I said is wrong? Why hateful cursing words? Heh, it's easy to preach love and peace, isnt it? And you too, Eclipse, why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Yeah, I dont care if addictions are easy to quit or not. It's your fault to get addicted. And it's your responsibility to quit or die with it. If you dont want to quit and want to die with it, fine. But if your addiction also affects me, it will be my responsibility to tell it straight to your face. Btw, it's up to what kind of addictions we are talking about. Some are way easier to quit than the others. Also, why dont you try to "sugar coating" talk to me if you think what I said is wrong? Why hateful cursing words? Heh, it's easy to preach love and peace, isnt it? And you too, Eclipse, why? You're missing the middle ground. I can't tell if it's because you're genuinely unable to tell the difference between being tactful and being fake, or refuse to acknowledge it. It's something that I'd expect out of someone who seems to have the solutions to everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Also, why dont you try to "sugar coating" talk to me if you think what I said is wrong? Why hateful cursing words? Heh, it's easy to preach love and peace, isnt it? And you too, Eclipse, why? i'm not "preaching love and peace;" my priority is a positive outcome for TC's father and education on a bit of perspective. if those ends involve shaming you at my pleasure, i will take that opportunity. honestly it's impossible to tell if you're serious or trolling, but since it's evident that you really have no respect for what i have to say in the first place, then i won't afford you that respect, either. your loss, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerene Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 As someone who lost their father due to smoking, I advise that you should definitely have a talk with your father about his addiction, especially if he has, as dondon151 said, the "right mindset." Even though the road to getting out of the addiction is long and difficult, the first step is to realize the addiction and have a determination, even if small, to break out of it. When talking, make sure to keep it calm and see if he does have the "right mindset." After that, it's up to him, you, and maybe other family members or outside forces to slowly help him out of his addiction. What might also help you out is asking on a forum that's more geared towards medical issues, etc. The most you can get from asking from Serenes Forest is maybe personal counsel and some links but that's the extent of it unless someone on this forum is a former smoker who went through the process of breaking the addiction or someone who has gone through a similar experience of helping a smoker out. I wish I could give you more advice concerning the process, but all I can tell you now is what I wish I could have done. It's going to take a long time and you might feel like giving up, but if anything, what your father needs most is your patience and support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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