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TheMoniker

TheMoniker plays all of Markyjoe's crap(ALIVE ONCE MORE)

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Okay, so. You're probably wondering about the topic title. You see, this LP is SPECIAL. I won't be playing just one hack. Instead, I'll be playing six separate hacks, all made by the same person. The quality between them varies WILDLY, and some of it will be terrible in a zany fashion, or just terrible. Markyjoe1990, the creator of all the hacks, is a relatively well-known FE hack youtuber/reviewer, and he is VERY CRITICAL. LET'S FIND OUT ABOUT HIS RIGHT TO JUDGE Let's find out about his OWN dark past!

I'll be playing the hacks in a very specific order. Keep in mind that I need to play them in this order, because this is the order they were made in, and they all sort of together form a VERY WEIRD "canon"(eg: If I don't play them in this order you won't understand the "in jokes"). Also, all the hacks are unfinished or abandoned to some degree. Anyways, here's the order I'll play them in:

Super Hard Lyn Mode: The very first hack Markyjoe released, it's basically a reskin of Lyn mode, made to be "super hard"(note the quotes). It's terrible in every since of the word, and thus will be a great way to start things off. It's length is the whole of Lyn mode, but the chapters are short so it shouldn't take THAT long. Markyjoe made changes to Eliwood mode as well, but he never specified what they were or if they were worth seeing, so we won't be caring about them. If you need something to compare it to, it's like a really early and REALLY WEIRD Chaos Mode, except not really.

Tactician's Nightmare: It's one level of pure insanity. Pure, imbalanced, terribly designed, luck-based insanity. It plays like a bad ragefest hack, and will likely only take 1 update. Markyjoe said that some people had no trouble with the level while other ended up tearing their hair out over it. I guess we'll see, won't we?

Old Fire Mumblem: Marky's first full custom hack. Except not really, because all the portraits are copied. It's terrible, at many points not even in an entertaining way, and Marky admitted that the only interesting part about it is the dialogue, which is so impossibly explicit I might get an infraction for posting it in uncensored form. I'll find some way to deal with it, don't worry! It's length is about 7 chapters or so if I remember right, after which the hack kind of peters out.

New Fire Mumblem(also known as Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition): Basically Fire Mumblem TAKE TWO! It's the first hack on the list with gameplay that someone MIGHT CONCEIVABLY ACTUALLY WANT TO PLAY. Believe me, that says something! Of course, markyjoe abandoned this one after even less chapters, but that's okay, because it isn't THAT great.

Corruption of Roy: I didn't initially PLAN on playing this, but my viewers convinced me otherwise. I regretted listening to the peer pressure, it was a Ragefest submission for a reason!

Project Shoeshine: I would LIKE to play this, but I can't, because it was only available on Marky's forums, and they apparently disappeared at some point, and the link on the thread on serenes forest just gives me a 404 error.

Fire Mumblem: Chronicles of Lussaria: All the numerous failures and train wrecks FINALLY come together to form a hack with an interesting plot, an entertaining cast and dialogue, good gameplay, and interesting concepts, which all lasts for an amazing TWO CHAPTERS! Beautiful! This will be the finale for this LP thread.

OBLIGATORY LINKS:

Markyjoe1990's youtube channel

And his weird website

Fire Mumblem "Fun" Pack(no idea if the download link works, but if it does you can get the first 4 hacks in the list.)

Fire Mumblem: Chronicles of Lussaria(should be obvious which hack you can get, but again, no idea if the download link works.)

THREAD RULES:

1: NO SPOILERS, I WANT ALL MY VIEWERS TO BE SURPRISED BY THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN

2: Don't be blind

3: Or an idiot.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Page 1(HINT: SCROLL DOWN)

Tactician's Hell(One episode, Page 3)

Old Fire Mumblem(Page 4)

New Fire Mumblem(Page 7)

Corruption of Roy(Page 9)

Chronicles of Lussaria(Page 11)

Project Shoeshine(Page 13)

And now, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 1: Prologue and Chapter 1: The Zaniness Begins

 

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What, were you expecting a custom title screen or something?

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I'd tell you that my birthday is actually in May, but then I'd have to kill you.

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UNEDITED CHAPTER TITLES! HURRAH!

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Oh, and all the text is just unedited FE7. Like, not even a find-replace. It's ALL THE SAME. As such, I'll be skipping just about all of it.

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Okay, looks norm OH CRAP LYN'S A MAGE, OSTIAN PRINCESS FLASHBACKS

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Oh hey, I have a commander symbol thingy now! I think that's actually new!

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MY FACE

MY FACE IS MELTING FROM THESE TERRIBLE STATS

Honestly, this and a lot of other things that happen later on make me think that this may have been intended to be a DEFLATION hack, although of course it doesn't really work. There is some good news however: Her fire tome has non-standard stats. You can work them out with some math(I must have misplaced my screenshot), but at least she'll have SOME offense in earlygame.

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Hey, some options are missing...

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OH NO

THE TUTORIALS AREN'T REMOVED

WHY

Okay, this one actually ISN'T Marky's fault. You see, this hack was MEANT to be played on Lyn Hard Mode(not sure if this will cause bugs later...), but the ROM I've been using has been bugged, and it never shows me the mode select screen, always defaulting to Lyn's normal mode and then Eliwood normal mode. I've never actually played vanilla FE7 hector hard mode because I'm too lazy to go find a working ROM.

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Still, we're just going to have to deal with it for now, and hope nothing breaks horribly.

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The game makes it LOOK like I can attack from 2 spaces away and avoid a counter, but it won't let me move anywhere but adjacent tiles. THESE ARE THE WORST TUTORIALS EVER

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Uh oh, this isn't looking good...

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But then, Lyn goes against the laws of FE and doubles, with the power of TUTORIAL RIGGING! The game's "help" will actually make things a bit easier in the first few chapters, when it isn't being impossibly annoying.

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PAIN

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I don't know about that, we only won with the game helping us cheat!

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I'm forced to use a vulnerary, and then forced to attack Batta at 1 range. SUCH DIVERSE GAMEPLAY

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You know, Lyn's palette is actually surprisingly good.

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I think Lyn may have done a cheaty crit finish. Not sure.

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I forget, is the rigged level supposed to look like this? Either way, she needs magic.

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I NEED MORE CHOICES

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Maybe I'll find them in the next chapter.

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Sain and Kent: Roadblocking since 2001

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THE TERRIBLENESS IS CATCHING UP WITH US

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Yes! Say, Sain, can you tell me about that green person hanging out up there?

No? Okay then.

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Sain and Kent have actual stats, maybe modified, maybe not, I don't know. Either way though, they're hitting a stat the enemies actually have(that is to say, defense), but their offense is still better than Lyn's.

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And this lady...well, don't be fooled by the HP.

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She WILL steamroll everything. I have NO idea what her deal is, and while I would LIKE to have one of the cavs rescue her and prevent her from stealing XP, the tutorials will take that ability away from me, so she's gonna get some action.

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The bandits stats have actually been NERFED(their RES was buffed, though). Except for DAT CON

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Zugu has ordinary stats, crazy HP, insane weapons(but no 2-range option) and a droppable thunder, which WOULD be useful if it weren't for the fact that Lyn needs a D to use the thing, which we won't be getting for a few chapters.

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It's not your fault Sain, it's the fault of the weapon triangle!

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FREE THING

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Lyn once again can't double...

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OR CAN SHE

Seriously, the ability of the game to rig battles is stronger than I thought. In several of Kent's combat engagements he could double the enemy, but he didn't double in battle because of these STUPID TUTORIALS

WHAT IS THE GAME TRYING TO TEACH ME

THAT MY TACTICS DON'T MATTER, JUST MY RNG

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Oh, what? The turn should automatically end!

Yeah, you need to end your turn manually in this chapter. Believe it or not, there's actually a "good" reason, and I could have showed it off if I knew what it was while recording this chapter, but I didn't, so you'll have to wait until this "bug" crops up again.

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Here comes the citizen, here to steal our XP...

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This tutorial is even more BS-y, Sain totally should have landed that.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH, PLEASE STOP RAILROADING ME

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Meanwhile, the citizen is STEALING ALL THE XP.

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*eye twitches*

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Can't...rescue...

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SHE'S GONNA KILL THE BOSS, I GOTTA DO SOMETHING

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Lyn lures out that bandit across the bridge...

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And the citizen is distracted!

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And then we do this!

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This is the part where I notice the insane HP. And he has an Elixir, too!

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Yeah, you pretty much HAVE to use Lyn.

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I THOUGHT he was going to use the elixir here, but he didn't for some reason.

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After another chip, Lyn gains more magic!

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And Kent finishes!

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And gains a terrible level!

I'm not sure if Marky actually changed growths.

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Thank you!

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Hmm...

NEXT TIME: The Mani Katti's secret power! Try to guess what it is!

Edited by TheMoniker

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Oy... Super Hard Lyn Mode. Are you sure you wanna LP that one? It's super boring. Its only redeeming trait is probably the inside jokes it sets up for Old Fire Mumblem, which people prolly won't get anyway if they didn't watch BuringPenitentEngine's LP of SHLM. ;-;

Ah well. Either way, it's about time I got a roast.

By the way, I think Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition is one of the two hacks in this collection I consider good (Chronicles of Lussaria is the other). I'm also gonna say that I think the gameplay design is a tad more free compared to Chronicles of Lussaria, where everything's planned and you kinda gotta do things a specific way. Of the two hacks, I wish I had finished the former more than the latter, but alas...

Also, Tactician's Nightmare is actually called Tactician Hell. While we're at it, here's an extra fun fact: it was supposed to have more chapters, but I gave up whilst finishing up the second because I hated it and didn't find it fun. Basically, it was just a field with nothing on it but your player units. Once you ended your turn, berserkers would spawn on enemy phase just... kind of outta thin air and attack you, and the only way to win was by just memorizing their spawn points each turn and blocking them. It was a damn chore.

Anyway, I'll keep an eye on this topic and see if I can throw in a little bit of exclusive creator's commentary deluxe whenever I feel it's appropriate.

Edited by MarkyJoe1990

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I've never seen any of Markyjoe's hacks, so this'll be interesting. Possibly good for a laugh.

With one exception, I have seen Corruption of Roy.

Edited by Zoruad

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Oy... Super Hard Lyn Mode. Are you sure you wanna LP that one? It's super boring. Its only redeeming trait is probably the inside jokes it sets up for Old Fire Mumblem, which people prolly won't get anyway if they didn't watch BuringPenitentEngine's LP of SHLM. ;-;

Ah well. Either way, it's about time I got a roast.

By the way, I think Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition is one of the two hacks in this collection I consider good (Chronicles of Lussaria is the other). I'm also gonna say that I think the gameplay design is a tad more free compared to Chronicles of Lussaria, where everything's planned and you kinda gotta do things a specific way. Of the two hacks, I wish I had finished the former more than the latter, but alas...

Also, Tactician's Nightmare is actually called Tactician Hell. While we're at it, here's an extra fun fact: it was supposed to have more chapters, but I gave up whilst finishing up the second because I hated it and didn't find it fun. Basically, it was just a field with nothing on it but your player units. Once you ended your turn, berserkers would spawn on enemy phase just... kind of outta thin air and attack you, and the only way to win was by just memorizing their spawn points each turn and blocking them. It was a damn chore.

Anyway, I'll keep an eye on this topic and see if I can throw in a little bit of exclusive creator's commentary deluxe whenever I feel it's appropriate.

and here i thought you wasn't lurking around these days

anyway looking forward to simply to see one's "journey" of hacking

also I have I think 2 chapters of project shoe shine somewhere. sadly the 2nd one is the unbalanced hard as balls one.

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and here i thought you wasn't lurking around these days

anyway looking forward to simply to see one's "journey" of hacking

also I have I think 2 chapters of project shoe shine somewhere. sadly the 2nd one is the unbalanced hard as balls one.

I don't actually lurk. Lately, I've been making it a point to stay away from the Fire Emblem community. The only reason why I am here is because the LPer messaged me and mentioned the LP, so I figured I'd check it out. =X

Edited by MarkyJoe1990

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Yay! My days of joy and happiness have returned with terrible hacks!!! Okay, maybe they aren't all terrible...

(You must be the opposite of me, MarkyJoe. I've been lurking this site for six years without a single comment....... ^_^; )

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I don't actually lurk. Lately, I've been making it a point to stay away from the Fire Emblem community. The only reason why I am here is because the LPer messaged me and mentioned the LP, so I figured I'd check it out. =X

fair enough

now hurry up and update monk

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Okay guys, I'm finally here with another update.

Oy... Super Hard Lyn Mode. Are you sure you wanna LP that one? It's super boring. Its only redeeming trait is probably the inside jokes it sets up for Old Fire Mumblem, which people prolly won't get anyway if they didn't watch BuringPenitentEngine's LP of SHLM. ;-;

I AM ENTIRELY SURE

And yeah, I'll at least try to try and explain the in-jokes, although my only knowledge of them is what I got from watching your LP of SHLM...

Ah well. Either way, it's about time I got a roast.

By the way, I think Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition is one of the two hacks in this collection I consider good (Chronicles of Lussaria is the other). I'm also gonna say that I think the gameplay design is a tad more free compared to Chronicles of Lussaria, where everything's planned and you kinda gotta do things a specific way. Of the two hacks, I wish I had finished the former more than the latter, but alas...

Yeah, the lack of options was one of my few beefs with CoL, since I don't like it when games railroad me down one specific path, and punish me for trying to leave it. If you had continued CoL, I suppose it would have been excusable in earlygame as long as it didn't continue to midgame/lategame, where you're generally expected to have more choices.

Also, Tactician's Nightmare is actually called Tactician Hell. While we're at it, here's an extra fun fact: it was supposed to have more chapters, but I gave up whilst finishing up the second because I hated it and didn't find it fun. Basically, it was just a field with nothing on it but your player units. Once you ended your turn, berserkers would spawn on enemy phase just... kind of outta thin air and attack you, and the only way to win was by just memorizing their spawn points each turn and blocking them. It was a damn chore.

Yeah, I'm glad that chapter never happened, because it means I never have to play it.

Anyway, I'll keep an eye on this topic and see if I can throw in a little bit of exclusive creator's commentary deluxe whenever I feel it's appropriate.

Responses in blue.

I've never seen any of Markyjoe's hacks, so this'll be interesting. Possibly good for a laugh.

With one exception, I have seen Corruption of Roy.

Dang, forgot about that one! Still, it's a ragefest hack, and kind of different from the others, so I see no need to play it. Unless a bunch of people request it...

I don't actually lurk. Lately, I've been making it a point to stay away from the Fire Emblem community. The only reason why I am here is because the LPer messaged me and mentioned the LP, so I figured I'd check it out. =X

It's true

fair enough

now hurry up and update monk

MONK

YOU DARE TO CALL ME MONK

I AM SAGE

SALEH SAGE

THE SA-SAGE

And it hasn't even been 24 hours seriously

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 2: Chapters 2 and 3: Phantoms and the Spirit Sword

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CUTSCENE BEGI- Oh, what's that cavalier doing hanging around up there?

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And then tons of enemies come everywhere! Notice anything different?

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Why, the difference is that the cutscene totally glitches out, of course! I have to skip the cutscene.

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Oh no, MORE TUTORIALS

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I know these things already! Shouldn't the game be trying to teach us to LTC, instead of teaching us to waste time on boring houses when there are enemies nearby that need killing?

Anyways, after the game forces me to waste my first turn, the cav moves down to attack Lyn...

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WOAH, hello there, dark palette guy! I'll explain more in a minute.

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BUT FOR NOW, MORE TUTORIALS

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So yeah, this is the cavalier. I believe he's known as a "phantom", and this won't be the last time we see his kind.

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The silver blade has 65 hit, yet he somehow manages 63, because he has NEGATIVE skill. This combined with low strength means he's annoying rather than threatening, and we can only kill him with Lyn.

And, some of you will know something about what happens when you have negative stats...

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If you reset the game...

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THEY TURN VERY MUCH TO POSITIVE.

I load a savestate, because I think this guy is already annoying enough.

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Oh, and he has an axe rank! A lot of the enemies(and some of the allies) have really weird weapon ranks, which I will show when I can.

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Glass is a hero, and except for his HP(Glass is not made of glass) he is the worst promoted boss ever. He isn't even sitting on a throne, so defeating him will be crazy easy.

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Beautiful!

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Actually, Marky changed the goal to "defeat all enemies"...WHO DO I TRUST

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Okay. This is okay.

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Phantom is down, and he bestowed some of his tankiness upon us!

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Breaking down the walls!

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Meh. Res is nice, I guess.

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Glass's HP makes him annoying to kill, but trust me, it will get worse later. MUCH worse.

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Holy crap, IT'S GOLDEN GLASS

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LYN DOES EPIC CAPE SWISH

BEAUTIFUL CHROM IMPRESSION

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What, JUST magic? When all of your important stats are below 5, I think you'll need more than that!

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Wait, Seize? Yeah, you can skip the "promoted" boss, but why would you want to?

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Sain deals the epic finishing blow, and gains muscles.

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This is nice, or it WOULD be if the sword wasn't B-rank, and nobody we get for a long time will be even CLOSE to being able to wield that!

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Defeat the last bandit and...

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Yup, the objective of the chapter was Seize ALL ALONG!

Which I do.

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Wait wait wait, Lyn isn't a swordswoman! She's a MAGE!

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WHO WILL USE THIS

Also, Phantom revived! We'll have to fight him again later...

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Yeah yeah yeah Lundgren, we get it, you're evil.

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Next one is short and not that altered, let's keep going.

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Oh dear, destroyed town.

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Oh hey, the boss morphed into a thief!

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OH CRAP, WAY MORE ENEMIES THAN NORMAL

At least, I think this is more. It's been a while since I last played Lyn normal mode.

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MORE TUTORIALS

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*cries*

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WOAH, THAT PALETTE

I believe this one is known as "inside-out man". He will be making up a large portion of the enemy generics for a while, and trust me when I say that he gets much tougher than this.

Oh, right, the prepromote sniper!

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Nothing to write home about, but she DOES have a +20 bonus to crit, so if you're unlucky she can just one-shot anyone.

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The thief boss has ONE STRENGTH and a javelin he can't use, plus tons of resistance for no reason. I don't get this hack sometimes. No, scratch that, I don't get it ALL the time.

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Chip.

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Notchip. And wow, what did Marky DO to the palettes?

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Lucky for us, nobody dies! I may have been exaggerated the danger of her critting, since Kent would have survived if she had.

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Funds! Also, I totally forget to visit the armory. There wasn't anything interesting in it. Probably.

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Sain totally whiffs...

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And Wil ultimately proves himself to be THE BETTER ARCHER!

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Yeah!

Oh, right, the Mani Katti! Man, I totally waited too long to show it.

Anyways, the Mani Katti is a SWORD. Lyn is a MAGE. So, who can use the Mani Katti?

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Why, Lyn of course!

Okay, let me explain:

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The Mani Katti is an - rank sword. What this means is, ANYONE can use it, even if they don't normally have a sword rank! Oh, and the best part is, IT STILL GIVES WEAPON XP, so one attack with it, and the unit will gain an E in swords, and permanently have the power to use iron swords until they get more ranks and can use better swords! It's like using Stone in FE8 to train people in dark magic, but less enemy-control-glitch-requiring!

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This bandit is drenched in the blood of the innocents he slew. So much, he's GLOWING with it.

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Sain is scared and decides to get stronger.

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The first shot with the Mani Katti doesn't go so well, but SWORD RANK OBTAINED

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Isn't this supposed to be HARD? Why are the enemies so WEAK?

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*facepalm*

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Well, we lost the javelin, but as least we can get our robe back.

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More sword-rank-giving!

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Marky actually went to some trouble to make lots of the earlygame bosses immune to Lyn, for no real reason.

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No way man, lances are much better for beating you!

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Which we do.

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Woah! Sheesh, I'm starting to think Marky buffed growths with the kind of levels I'm getting...

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IT IS OURS ONCE AGAIn

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I love Kent facepalming in the background there.

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NEXT TIME: The first really altered chapter, and also the first chapter to have ACTUAL DIFFICULTY!

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Woah! Sheesh, I'm starting to think Marky buffed growths with the kind of levels I'm getting...

I did. A lot.

Okay. So lemme explain a couple of things.

The cavaliers with buttloads of defense are indeed called phantoms. I just didn't know how to edit the text to make it so in-text. I think I made them like that because I wanted to make magic more useful or something. Not sure. I loved fiddling around with stats a lot in this hack.

Many of the enemies have weird palettes because I changed them to actual character palettes. I don't remember why, but it blessed us with Inside Out man (Shout outs to BuringPenitentEngine for the name), so I don't care.

Edited by MarkyJoe1990

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I did. A lot.

Okay. So lemme explain a couple of things.

The cavaliers with buttloads of defense are indeed called phantoms. I just didn't know how to edit the text to make it so in-text. I think I made them like that because I wanted to make magic more useful or something. Not sure. I loved fiddling around with stats a lot in this hack.

Many of the enemies have weird palettes because I changed them to actual character palettes. I don't remember why, but it blessed us with Inside Out man (Shout outs to BuringPenitentEngine for the name), so I don't care.

Okay, thanks for clearing that up!

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 3: Chapters 4 and 5: Bosses Everywhere

WARNING: Super-long update ahead!

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So, here we are on the first defense mission! Nothing special was done with Natalie(far as I can tell), but as you can see the boss was changed to a soldier.

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NO LYN

YOU'RE A MAGE

WHY IS THE GAME TRYING TO MAKE ME USE YOU AS A TANK

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Dorcas's stats don't appear to have been changed, but...

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He has STATBOOSTERS!

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WOW

BEST BOSS EVER

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Rigged?

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Kent kills LOTS of the bandits. Like, seriously, TONS. There are almost no enemies around now.

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Recruit the statbooster carrier! Also, his HP has been crazy buffed.

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SMASH

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Such a DIFFICULT chapter!

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Man, swords make pegs so much better early-game...

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SO MUCH BETTER

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Oh no, reinforcements.

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I'm SO SCARED.

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I guess I can forgive this, considering her other two levels...

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You know, Kent just isn't as good as Sain. I think Marky did it on purpose.

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Lyn dodges, and decides that it was nice and that she will dodge more in the future.

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Strength! Speed! I'll take it!

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Oh hey, we survived until the last turn!

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Yeah, we could have popped this guy whenever we wanted.

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He's purple and not-critty.

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Changed my mind! Kent is totally better!

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Seems a bit early to have one of these, but trust me, we will want it later on.

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Lucky for the bandits, one random merc manages to escape! They sure avoided massive casualties there!

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Okay, when I said that we'd be playing the first really changed chapter, I didn't mean that one. I meant THIS one.

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Yeah yeah, I know I'm not done with the hack yet.

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Oh, uh...things look different...

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Uh...LOTS OF THING ARE WRONG WITH THIS...

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Erk engages the archer in a RIGGED BATTLE, somehow managing to double the guy even though he shouldn't be able to, AND not killing him! It's like it's simultaneously screwing him over and helping him!

Also, that generic archer palette actually looks nice!

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"It can only be from the pain of playing a bad ROMhack!"

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So, there are a GREAT MANY things to show off here, but first, this guy.

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He'll be "helping"(read: Stealing all the XP until we rescue him) us out here, and his sky-high luck, according to Marky, makes him "invincible", but not really...however, notice that despite the fact that 30 luck + 12 speed should make 27 avoid(unless luck gives a full point of avoid with each point, in which case it's 42 avoid), but he has 50 avoid. With no help from terrain. Yeah, I think Marky hardcoded a special avoid thingy or SOMETHING.

And yes, he has an S rank in swords despite being unpromoted, and a lance rank for no real reason. I don't understand this guy.

See that myrm?

6A5qowb.pngqJpyTZe.png

It's GUY, apparently! Except...not really! I have no idea what the deal with this...guy...is, or if he has a special name, but he has a rank in bows, and I'm totally going to use him.

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Okay, next, all these random boss-mercs.

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Their only REALLY remarkable stats are HP and skill(they can crit!), but they have good everything else too. They're all very annoying to take down.

And yes, they do ALL have droppable steel swords. No idea why.

Ze3Wsr0.png6MFt42v.pngKYXh1o9.png

In fact, another of this chapter's "gimmicks" is that every enemy(save one random bandit with a poison axe) has a droppable of some type, so PREPARE FOR INVENTORY FILLAGE!

Wait, look a bit closer at that last archer...

X11m2bQ.png

Wait, what? He actually SURVIVED his round with Erk! He didn't need to develop a NEW glitch! Those who read the Ostian Princess LP should know what will happen...

Okay, there are STILL two things I haven't shown, that random myrm and the boss.

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Come on, try and guess what his deal is...

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That's right, ANOTHER phantom who needs to be taken out with Lyn(I guess the Tactician could also do it), and he gives us another statbooster! This actually has a lot of similarities to Chaos Mode, if you think of these guys as Extra!s...

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The boss himself, however, is immune to Lyn, and has a spoiler-tastic description. I'm SO SORRY. Yeah, two elixirs and HP over the HP cap. This plus his good defenses means he PROBABLY WILL get most of those elixirs in! Markyjoe has said many times that he hates bosses with healing, so this comes off as odd, although he did sort-of explain it in his own LP of SHLM.

Oh, and he drops a promotion item! We DO want that!

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But before we can really get started, MORE TUTORIALS.

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Time to kill this ZOMBIE.

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OH NO, HE'S IMMUNE TO MY ATTACKS

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And then he just dies anyway? Okay then.

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We will get a lot of things today.

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Guy actually HAS an animation with his bow. He lifts his sword like he's gonna cast magic(it flashes if it's gonna crit), and then an arrow hits the enemy. The arrow goes super-fast, so I'll try to screenshot it at some point, but no promises.

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First turn, and...the turn hasn't ended. Wait...I CAN SHOW OFF WHY THIS HAPPENS NOW!

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You see, there's an "extra" unit hanging around...

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Okay, let's quit and resume! Maybe that will make him appear!

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Uh, nope. I tried multiple times, but I can't summon the guy into reality. If I go into the unit list and select him...

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Yeah, no idea why this happens. The game starts doing the SCREECH OF A THOUSAND CONDEMNED SOULS after a little bit, too.

Still, we can at least check his stats from the unit screen...

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It is indeed Rath! He is known as "glitch Rath", created by Markyjoe messing around with the game, and he's level 0 with naught but a Fimbulvetr to his name.

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And it is the MOST BOSS Fimbulvetr you will EVER SEE.

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Dodging! All of the boss-mercs are inside-out men, which explains a bit of their strength.

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GO TACTICIAN, YOU CAN TACTICALLY SLAY THIS LOSER

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Dang, these guys are proving hard to deal with!

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Rescue the tactician!

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And then a guy doubles and kills Lyn. That's what happens when you're a main character with like 5 speed!

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On my second run of that turn, I manage to kill one of the losers.

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And Lyn TRIES to not get doubled anymore.

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So many steel swords...

SO MANY...

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Phantom is still alive and kicking, mostly because he isn't that threatening and I haven't had time to kill him.

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I'm trying to grind up Lyn, mostly because of the Earth Seal. I want her promoted!

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I do, however, allow Erk a chance to shine.

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And he of course screws it up.

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Always nice.

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This bandit palette is EVEN WEIRDER! What happened to this guy? MERCURY POISONING?

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TOO MANY THINGS.

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Wil gets the iron sword. Clearly the best plan.

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Miss...

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DIRECT HIT

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MORE.

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Inside the armory is...

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Nothing special? Okay then. Just in case you didn't notice, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY RUNNING OUT OF WEAPONS.

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THANK you! Finally, they're all dead!

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Lyn, if you want to be promoted, can you at least TRY to be better than Erk. Of course, there's no way I can get him to level 10 before the LP ends, so...

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I let Tactician out to play to help us with the purple boss, but I forgot about his buffed RES.

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FIGHTER USING SWORDS

Much chipping later...

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Dangit, Said in the strongest guy around, and he JUST BARELY can't do enough damage! I can't let Bug start using his elixirs!

But wait...what if...

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Kent grabs it from Dorcas...

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Then Sain grabs it from him...

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AND WE HAVE ENOUGH POWER

BAM! BUG BEATEN WITH NO ELIXIRS USED!

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I would have showed me obtaining the Earth seal and maybe some of the ending as well, but I've hit exactly 100 screenshots(the image limit), so you'll have to content yourself with just Sain's okay level!

NEXT TIME: Switching off the difficulty(BECAUSE IT'S THE SWITCH CHAPTER)

The chapters are getting too long, I actually had to kinda conserve on screenshots at the end of 5, so from now on only 1 chapter per update.

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Reply time!


u8JNdAt.png

You know, Kent just isn't as good as Sain. I think Marky did it on purpose.


You are correct. I did do it on purpose. >.>'

You might have noticed how absurdly good the cavaliers are in this hack... Here's the thing. At the time, I felt cavaliers were bad because their stats weren't as high as foot units, so I "balanced" it by making their bases/growths about as good as a foot unit. >_<


omRXSRN.png

Okay, when I said that we'd be playing the first really changed chapter, I didn't mean that one. I meant THIS one.


I really hate this chapter


AdodPbl.png4PK77co.pngsvY8IKQ.png

He'll be "helping"(read: Stealing all the XP until we rescue him) us out here, and his sky-high luck, according to Marky, makes him "invincible", but not really...however, notice that despite the fact that 30 luck + 12 speed should make 27 avoid(unless luck gives a full point of avoid with each point, in which case it's 42 avoid), but he has 50 avoid. With no help from terrain. Yeah, I think Marky hardcoded a special avoid thingy or SOMETHING.

Luck gives 1 Hit, 1 Avoid, and 1 Dodge. Speed gives 2 Avoid. This guy has a max of 54 avoid, but his weapon is weighing him down by two points, reducing it to 50.


See that myrm?

6A5qowb.pngqJpyTZe.png

It's GUY, apparently! Except...not really! I have no idea what the deal with this...guy...is, or if he has a special name, but he has a rank in bows, and I'm totally going to use him.

That character.

Is based on my real life friend named Guy. This was around the time I still made comics, and I made him a character in it. He was a swordmaster, but in real life, he practices the bow. So when I put him in this hack, I made him a myrm with bow skill.

... And thus, another mystery solved.


VdPLMWd.pngusPXfJS.png

Their only REALLY remarkable stats are HP and skill(they can crit!), but they have good everything else too. They're all very annoying to take down.

And yes, they do ALL have droppable steel swords. No idea why.

INSIDE OUT MAAAAAN!!!


X11m2bQ.png

Wait, what? He actually SURVIVED his round with Erk! He didn't need to develop a NEW glitch! Those who read the Ostian Princess LP should know what will happen...

I've never played Ostian princess, but... Basically, these glitches are caused by the tutorial. I think the hack includes a save or something, but I forgot, and I think the readme explains how to get around some of these if you don't or whatever. It's been so long since I've touched the damn hack. >_<

8tccQhT.pngo28w5FM.png

The boss himself, however, is immune to Lyn, and has a spoiler-tastic description. I'm SO SORRY.

Nooo! The greatest plot twist has been revealed!

SADNESS.

Yeah, two elixirs and HP over the HP cap. This plus his good defenses means he PROBABLY WILL get most of those elixirs in! Markyjoe has said many times that he hates bosses with healing, so this comes off as odd, although he did sort-of explain it in his own LP of SHLM.

I made this hack before I had an opinion on level design and whatnot. This hack sort of helped me figure out what things aren't fun.


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OH NO, HE'S IMMUNE TO MY ATTACKS

tp50Kww.png

And then he just dies anyway? Okay then.

When an enemy has 0 HP, nothing damages them. When the game calculates damage and you deal more damage than their remaining health, the game merely adjusts your damage so you deal exactly their health. Hence no damage.


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It is indeed Rath! He is known as "glitch Rath", created by Markyjoe messing around with the game, and he's level 0 with naught but a Fimbulvetr to his name.

GLITCH RATH HYPE!



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I'm trying to grind up Lyn, mostly because of the Earth Seal. I want her promoted!

Can't wait to have to awkwardly explain the appearance of her promotion's battle animation. ;-;

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Wil gets the iron sword. Clearly the best plan.

Archers? With one range!? You fool! That ruins the whole point of Archers! *murders pastjoe1990*


FaFA234.png

I let Tactician out to play to help us with the purple boss, but I forgot about his buffed RES.

I think this is another instance of me trying to balance the game knowing that Lyn's growths are ridiculously good. I think.

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Reply time!

You are correct. I did do it on purpose. >.>'

You might have noticed how absurdly good the cavaliers are in this hack... Here's the thing. At the time, I felt cavaliers were bad because their stats weren't as high as foot units, so I "balanced" it by making their bases/growths about as good as a foot unit. >_<

Sain actually becomes one of the better units later on, after I drop Kent.

Luck gives 1 Hit, 1 Avoid, and 1 Dodge. Speed gives 2 Avoid. This guy has a max of 54 avoid, but his weapon is weighing him down by two points, reducing it to 50.

Ah, you're right, my math was a bit off.

That character.

Is based on my real life friend named Guy. This was around the time I still made comics, and I made him a character in it. He was a swordmaster, but in real life, he practices the bow. So when I put him in this hack, I made him a myrm with bow skill.

... And thus, another mystery solved.

That's...actually really interesting! And kinda odd, but okay.

I've never played Ostian princess, but... Basically, these glitches are caused by the tutorial. I think the hack includes a save or something, but I forgot, and I think the readme explains how to get around some of these if you don't or whatever. It's been so long since I've touched the damn hack. >_<

Did you read the Ostian Princess LP on the LP archive? If not, I would recommend it, but you're trying to stay away from the FE community so...(but does it count if it's the worst the community has to offer)

When an enemy has 0 HP, nothing damages them. When the game calculates damage and you deal more damage than their remaining health, the game merely adjusts your damage so you deal exactly their health. Hence no damage.

That makes sense, in a technical way. New thing learned!

GLITCH RATH HYPE!

I might just try and use him...

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...(yes, I will say this every single time)

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 4: Chapter 6: So...few...enemies?

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...Because pride is all we'll have left by the end of this.

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OH NOES ENEMIES

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Save us from inside-out man Real!Rath.

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Rath does extra damage, and then the dude dies for some reason. I don't get these rigged battles sometimes.

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Woah! A preparation screen? I though we didn't get one of those until chapter 7!

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Here is, uh, the team! The prep screen is forcing us to un-field two units, so it's actually restricting us! Wow!

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I retrieve the Fimbulvetr from Glitch!Rath's inventory.

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Here's the position and-wait, those enemy positions don't look right at all! Are those...the same positions as from the rigged battle cutscene?

Starting the chapter and-

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Wait wait wait WHAT? The dialogue all restarted?

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RIGGED BATTLE SCENE RE-HAPPENING

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And, uh...yeah, there are a few discrepancies here with the positions I set up.

So, that preparation screen? Totally fake. None of your positioning on it has any effect on the chapter when it actually starts.

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However, item changes DO stay, meaning that Lyn still has the ubervetr, on the off-chance she actually gets to use it someday.

Also, look back up again, at the chapter objective. See anything wrong? No, don't worry, there aren't 7 switches. Marky just tied the number displayed to the enemies remaining instead of the actual switches(FOR SOME REASON). The REAL objective is still the same.

She does.

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Before things can really start, MORE TUTORIALS

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I like this line.

Oh! You're probably wondering about Glitch!Rath!

What? No? You aren't? WELL I'M TELLING YOU ANYWAY.

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He's still in our roster...

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You can see my cursor if you look at the VERY EDGE of the screen. Apparently he only spawned slightly off the map this time...or something...mind you, I still can't select or do anything with him.

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This is the point where some of the enemies start getting insanely inflated HP, like, INSANELY inflated, to the point of being FE7if-style. Mind you, the rest of the soldier's stats tend to be 0.

k8ce9Oz.pngt2rQr7I.png

We take care of the nearby mercs easily. Honestly, this level has very few changes and is not at all hard to deal with.

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Another one! I'll take it!

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Much strength, much happiness

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Chip! All the soldiers around have this kinda weird red palette.

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More chip!

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So that Matthew can kill!

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Okay Erk.

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Okay, let's look at the boss!

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More inflated HP, and...is that another prepromote sniper? Let's look at Bool first:

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This guy might manage to almost be threatening, if he could actually USE his brave lance. As it is, he'll be lucky if we give him the chance to fire off even one of those elixirs.

And that 5,000 g thing is just an item that can't be used with no description that sells for 5000 gold. This is like the 4th or 5th hack I've seen do this. Why do hackers never just use the blue gem? I don't get it.

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This long-haired lady is the REAL boss of the chapter, packing plenty of strength, skill, and speed. You'd best be ready to dogpile and destroy her the minute you press that second switch, because she hits and crits HARD.

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Not helping, Sain!

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Helping, Dorcas!

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Ouch! Okay, that was probably a bad idea, but at least Rath didn't get critted!

Fun fact: I actually thought Rath was a lady until I saw his character ending in FE7. No joke.

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I CALL BS

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NO RNG ABUSE HAPPENED OR ANYTHING

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One more level!

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Cash!

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Chip...

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And more cash!

But then, I realize that Lyn's inventory is full, and I don't want to throw out anything, so I load a state and have Lyn chip instead of Sain...

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So she gains a level! And I don't have to throw out an item!

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Serra does healgrinding too, but I won't need some silly cleric when I have a perfectly good Sage!

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Let's use it now!

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If you look below her cape, you can see that her hair is VERY LONG. GEE, I WONDER WHY

I already know why, but I want Marky to be forced to explain it anyway, BECAUSE I'M EVIL

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I think the promotion gains were buffed! Her CON still sucks, though...

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This is what happens when you promote early, kids! Also, I think the sage caps were buffed. Just a little. Not like we'll ever get her stats that high anyways.

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That's one weirdly-colored staff!

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Okay, let's just leave.

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GASP! RACISM!

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We SO needed this.

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NEXT TIME: The "awesome power" of promoted Lyn!

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Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Super Hard Lyn Mode: Episode 5: Chapter 7: Balance!

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STOP THE HACK, IT'S A YOUNG BOY

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You're so wrong, we got one last chapter!

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Anyways, here we go. This chapter is altered a little, but not *that* much.

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Eight slots, so we need to leave quite a few people out! Note that the selected Rath is Glitch!Rath, because I want to try and use him.

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I've given him lots of stuff, and I hope he can get at least one level.

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I give Lyn ALL the statboosters we've been piling up, and at the end of it her stats look...

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A bit better. Not much. Just a bit.

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Here's our formation! Now, while watching the following screenshots I want you to see if you can notice any inconsistencies...

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YES GAME. I KNOW. Gah, when are you going to STOP with these silly tutorials?

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And then it forces me to attack this random female shaman, using a custom female shaman animation. It seems to be of the kind that DOESN'T glitch out horribly when it casts a spell.

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"Guy" gets his first level! And it's good!

Tell me Markyjoe, does your friend look like that in real life? Black skin, no clothes, and a giant question mark for a face?

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Anyways, there is no shortage of enemies around.

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There is however a prepromote sage, with another promotion item. We probably won't use this one(OR WILL WE), but maybe we can sell it? If there is EVER a point where we need money?

Nqu5iZF.pngxTNK4lL.png

Random thunder tome and OH YES BOOTS

rVSjq3L.pngM33IRFd.png

Heintz is a crazy sucky monk, who apparently has a rank in dark magic(WHAT'S THE POINT OF MAKING HIM A MONK THEN), and he has a...

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SIEGE TOME! Mind you, it is Eclipse, and it does indeed have literally 30 hit. Was this reduced from normal FE7, or is Eclipse just that sucky?

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So, you might have noticed, but Glitch!Rath left the party.

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He's hanging around somewhere off the map, and the game glitches out when I attempt to fetch him.

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The shop has a pretty lame selection, but I do actually grab a Mend and Elfire for Lyn.

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Spoiler: He misses!

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Lyn runs ahead and starts pwning everyone with dat hair.

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The enemies have all gone back to normal HP values, but trust me, that will change.

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Holy crap, he actually landed one of his shots!

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Bye, you sucked!

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She totally owns the sage too! SHE'S INVINCIBLE! NOTHING CAN STOP THE POWER OF THE HAIR!

WHEN SUDDENLY

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A HEROIC MYRM STEPS UP TO THE FIELD

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AND GIVES LYN A HAIRCUT

Okay, so maybe the Lyn solo wasn't the best idea. Let's go back to actually giving other units a chance.

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I've decided to bring Kent along again. He won't be helpful.

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Good item!

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Almost-useless item!

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Woah, what?

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Hey! That's more defense than the last boss!

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Lucius takes care of the silly high-level knight.

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The sage still dies, this time in an EPIC MANNER.

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And Lyn adopts a hair-protective playstyle.

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Lucius re-gets his level(there was a good reason. Probably.)

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I murder the shaman standing on the fort. We've pretty much run now.

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Florina, you suck and are worthless. I should drop you.

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He ran out of his eclipse, and so must hit Lyn with THE TENTACLE ATTACK

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I somehow doubt it.

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Lyn, with stats like those now is not the time for levels like this!

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Obligatory Sain comment!

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I finished in MORE than enough time for this.

GFMg0wU.png

NEXT TIME: The weirdest gaiden ever

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Reply time again!

And, uh...yeah, there are a few discrepancies here with the positions I set up.

So, that preparation screen? Totally fake. None of your positioning on it has any effect on the chapter when it actually starts.

I believe the reason behind this is because of the eventing.

In the original eventing, if a chapter isn't set to have a prep screen, the chapter's opening cutscene is loaded with a turn-based event. If it does have a prep screen, the opening cutscene is loaded automatically, and then whatever turn based events occur on turn 1 are loaded after the prep screen.

The chapter uses a turn-based opening event normally, but then I set the chapter to have a prep screen, making the opening event happen anyway. Since I knew nothing about eventing (and very few others did at this point), I didn't know that I had to remove the turn event that triggers the opening cutscene, so... you got this as a result.

Oh! You're probably wondering about Glitch!Rath!

What? No? You aren't? WELL I'M TELLING YOU ANYWAY.

6WMqltC.png

He's still in our roster...

LT5hBL1.png

You can see my cursor if you look at the VERY EDGE of the screen. Apparently he only spawned slightly off the map this time...or something...mind you, I still can't select or do anything with him.

So... I don't remember exactly, but I believe the reason why Glitch Rath even exists in this game is because I messed with the chapter unit editor nightmare module, because I wanted Rath to join in chapter 1. I tried it again here, and... yeah. =X

JgFyiUR.pngisAee6D.png

This guy might manage to almost be threatening, if he could actually USE his brave lance. As it is, he'll be lucky if we give him the chance to fire off even one of those elixirs.

Ahh... ye olde days when I didn't know how to set weapon ranks. Good times.

fYJB4Re.pngeMO63Lv.png

This long-haired lady is the REAL boss of the chapter, packing plenty of strength, skill, and speed. You'd best be ready to dogpile and destroy her the minute you press that second switch, because she hits and crits HARD.

OH MAN! A PROMOTED SNIPER IN LYN MODE? I'M SO EDGEY AND CHALLENGING!

S9eKam9.png

Let's use it now!

9sJsbmV.png

If you look below her cape, you can see that her hair is VERY LONG. GEE, I WONDER WHY

I already know why, but I want Marky to be forced to explain it anyway, BECAUSE I'M EVIL

I have a fetish for extremely long hair. There. >_<

This was back in the days when I was very sheltered and far less timid about sexual subject matter, so I kinda just indulged myself with things like this. It happens in Old Fire Mumblem too, but with a far weirder fetish of mine, and that's where things are going to get really awkward.

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This is what happens when you promote early, kids! Also, I think the sage caps were buffed. Just a little. Not like we'll ever get her stats that high anyways.

I think I usually wait until one of the last few chapters before I promote mage Lyn normally. Her stats get pretty crazy, especially with all the stat boosters I generously throw at the player.

And now to reply to the other post... BRB

Edited by MarkyJoe1990

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And then it forces me to attack this random female shaman, using a custom female shaman animation. It seems to be of the kind that DOESN'T glitch out horribly when it casts a spell.

Here's a fun fact. That isn't the custom female shaman animation.

What I did was I took the female shaman graphics from FE6 using the GBA Graphics editor or whatever it was at the time, and simply replaced the normal shaman graphics with it. That's why it's fully functional here, and lacks the crit animation I gave it.

... And of course, the reason why it's a female shaman instead of a normal shaman should be obvious if you guys read my previous post.

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"Guy" gets his first level! And it's good!

Tell me Markyjoe, does your friend look like that in real life? Black skin, no clothes, and a giant question mark for a face?

He's a skinny, feminine looking dude with long brown hair.

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There is however a prepromote sage, with another promotion item. We probably won't use this one(OR WILL WE), but maybe we can sell it? If there is EVER a point where we need money?

That guy basically exists so you can grind off of him. Not sure if it was intentional or not though, but he doesn't move IIRC.

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Heintz is a crazy sucky monk, who apparently has a rank in dark magic(WHAT'S THE POINT OF MAKING HIM A MONK THEN)

This is actually a clever social commentary on the corruption of the church and how it achieves its allegedly righteous goals through the very means it claims to oppose.

Naaaah, I just thought it was cool.

...

Actually, I think originally, he was still a shaman, but because those were replaced with the female shaman graphics, I went and used monk instead.

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SIEGE TOME! Mind you, it is Eclipse, and it does indeed have literally 30 hit. Was this reduced from normal FE7, or is Eclipse just that sucky?

I think it's literally just that bad.

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Lyn runs ahead and starts pwning everyone with dat hair.

I swear, if I had the art talent to make her attack enemies with her hair, I would have done that without a second thought.

Actually, while we're on hair again, it's worth noting that I once tried to give the unpromoted mage animation really long hair as well.

That never happened though.

And thus ends another episode of "MarkyJoe1990 replies to embarassing shit from the past". Will things get even more embarrassing here on out? Find out next time!

Edited by MarkyJoe1990

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