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TheMoniker plays all of Markyjoe's crap(ALIVE ONCE MORE)


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hack lussarias stats and kill marc in the underworld, i guarantee something interesting will happen (i dont actually guarantee but hey its the thought that counts right)

He probably doesn't have a death quote. Or if he does, it's something inconsequential. Of course, I don't know how to use Nightmare, so this is really a question for the creator himself.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

The CHAPTER 1 PRELUDE!

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Gelvin village...sounds like...sounds like...I don't know, actually.

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Today, we again join Markyjoe!

Markyjoe: Prolly shoulda thought this over better.

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Ephraim teleports right on top, to do who-knows-what to him.

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Markyjoe: Could ya not sneak up on me like that?

Ephraim225: Oh, sorry. Should we try again? I could teleport a few feet away from you this time.

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Markyjoe: I wanted you here anyway. Let’s talk about what just happened.

Ephraim225: Oh yeah. So… uh… What’d you think?

Markyjoe: First, the good news. Your performance was excellent.

Ephraim225: It… it was?

Markyjoe: Yeah. I was especially impressed by your tactic of faking incompetence. Way to give ‘em a false sense of security!

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We actually do see his real stats soon, so he may have actually been faking.

Markyjoe: Now. The bad news. Turns out that warping in a bunch of dudes was not the most subtle method of attack. Let’s try not to give Lussaria reason to suspect we’re after her. We gotta put her in less suspicious battle scenarios.

Ephraim225: Like… a bandit attack?

Oh, great!

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Markyjoe: I am NOT having that crap in MY hack.

Ephraim225: Why? What’s wrong with bandit attacks?

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In my first run, I was totally hoping Markyjoe would just not do a bandit attack.

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Uh...uh...uhhhhhh...

...Tactician's Nightmare?

Ephraim225: Eh… Gaiden?

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Ephraim225: It had bandits, but that was never the focus of any scenario. I guess.

Markyjoe: Well. Come on. Who the heck plays Gaiden anyway?

I didn't play it.

Ephraim225: …

Markyjoe: Erm… Well my point is that Bandit attacks are overdone. We need something new and fresh to give our hack an edge. Let’s get the other two major hackers in here so we can brainstorm. I’m sure that we can come up with something more original than a bandit attack, right?

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So, in come the two new hackers! No idea why the red-robe guy is a tactician, his class will be retconned later.

Dude: Sup?

Markyjoe: The test was a success. However…

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There was a fade-out, Markyjoe explained it off-screen, even though it probably would have taken like one sentence.

Other dude: Okay, here’s my idea.

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Uh...

Markyjoe: … What? What’s the point? Is that supposed to have some kind of deeper meaning? Hm…

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The red-robe makes a stupid suggestion, but Markyjoe is lost in thought.

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...What?

Sgtsmiles: Bandits are cheap. Bandits are easy. Bandits are early game.

Markyjoe: Y’know what else they are? Stagnant!

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Old Jokestm

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Ephraim225: *text skip*

Markyjoe: Can we get off the bandit thing? We’re not using it! And was that a text skip I just saw? Get it together, Ephraim!

Yeah, I couldn't even catch that!

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And no progress was made.

Other dude: We could do that.

Markyjoe: I dunno man… That just sounds… Kinda gay.

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Sgtsmiles: Bandits! Just go with bandits!

Other dude: Yeah… yeah… Hey Marc, maybe he’s right. I mean, it’s just so much easier to have bandits early on, especially in a peaceful place like this.

Markyjoe: Welp. … …

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And thus, that whole event based on not doing a bandit chapter was pointless, because now we're doing a bandit chapter anyway!

Also, I have to wonder how much these "hacker conversations" reflect the real stuff that happened in development. There is going to be a LOT of "hilarious in hindsight" very soon.

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But for now...

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Time to join our REAL main characters!

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Lussaria: For the time being, we should be safe here.

(She's wrong)

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Drunk monk: You’re coming too, right Marina?

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Annnnnnd there they go.

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Shigeid: I wonder if my old friend still lives here…

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And then he goes into that yellow house.

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Yeah, yeah. I get it!

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Lussaria: We feast.

Jorin: Eh!? But we just got out of a battle!

Lussaria: Doesn’t stabbing people in the neck give you an appetite?

Jorin: Stabbing people makes me want to vomit.

Lussaria: Exactly. And what comes after you vomit?

Jorin: Mom brings soup.

Lussaria: And what is soup?

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Well Jorin. It seems we have reached a logical conclusion.

Jorin: Do you think they sell cherries?

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We'll have to wait on the cherries, because MAGE GUY just walked in!

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Nischuck: … What did you just call me?

Stereotypical bandit: Nischuck. That’s yer name, right?

Nischuck: No. That’s not my name, you Neanderthal.

Neanderthal: “Neanderthal”? That ain’t my name. Name’s Chuck. Nice ‘n simple.

Nischuck: Oh, for crying out loud. Whatever. let’s just get to work.

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GASP! The BRUTALITY!

(They won't actually do it in gameplay)

Nischuck: Grab any valuables you can, but don’t waste time. Once the mission is over, get the hell out of there. Do I make myself clear?

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I don't know, he seems surprisingly concise.

Other bandit: As if we didn’t already know what to do. Who made you leader anyway?

Nischuck: How dare you! Out of all of us here, I’m the most qualified for the job! Look. See this magic? If anyone else here has the smarts to use this, let me know. If not, shut your trap. Lest you wanna get fried.

Other bandit: …

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But before the enemies enter the field...

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Shipping fuel time!

Feltyn: I was wondering… There’s this diner somewhere ‘round here. S’got a nice view ‘n all. Do you think we could…

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And then he's interrupted!

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WHO DESTROYED THE SHOPS!

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Actually, in FE8 it turns out that a destroyed Armory does in fact have the same sprite as a destroyed mini-house.

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Oh, OF COURSE.

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And then more come!

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Plenty more!

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Seriously, there's lots.

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Lussaria: We just did this!

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END DIALOGUE

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So! We ONCE AGAIN have a 4-turn time limit, on a map that looks like it should take WAY longer to do. Oh, and we don't have half our units available right now! Joy! It's gonna take some PRO STRATS to pull this off...

Also, you'll see what the Kinsan thing is about soon enough.

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The map is tiny, the Crooks haven't gotten any stronger, and there's no new characters, so... not much to show.

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One of the fighters has a cool and dangerous new icon.

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The boss isn't THAT amazing, and he's weighed down by his tome(I think), but he shouldn't be THAT hard to beat...as long as we don't let him get close to our squishies.

NEXT TIME: Moniker fails!

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5) Midnight Sun happened. I had always been interested in Midnight Sun even BEFORE it "got good", but when it actually HAPPENED, I was left speechless. This was a hack with everything I ever wanted. Female shaman protagonist? Check. Focus on characters and psychology? Check. Well thought out and concise level design? Check. Chicks with really long hair? Check. With Midnight Sun, my desire to make Chronicles Of Lussaria waned.



I've seen it happen before, when you wanted to make something awesome, but you weren't able to complete it anywhere near fast enough(not that you should have rushed or forced yourself), and then something happened to take the opportunity away.


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the feels on these comments are strong. I fell victim to this with rage emblem, I was cranking out chapters fast as possible cause I wanted people to see what ideas I had. Sadly what came of it was a broken mess on chapter 1 and onwards (I curse you lightning strike code) while people never saw most of the jokes/events i was proud of. I even had a bard as a boss with a workaround to prevent him glitching out if he doubled.




edit:


+ the +1 to stats is a pretty cool reward


+its extremely hard to come up with other reasons why your units are fighting in the early game. Bandits may be the generic answer but any other group you are killing might as well be bandits at the end of it all.

Edited by MrNight48
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You know, I must say...I really like the concept of the hack. The idea of the hack creator and a few of his partners discussing and then executing various scenarios, the Netherworld concept, the bonus tasks, the character interactions, the various game-mechanic jokes and references (Of course the Durandal was in the store. Why else do you think it was going to be destroyed?)...really, I think this could have been one of the best hacks out there. I honestly feel it's a shame that MarkyJoe has stopped working on it, as I personally see so much potential in this that could be reached and executed.

Just my 0.02$.

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5) Midnight Sun happened. I had always been interested in Midnight Sun even BEFORE it "got good", but when it actually HAPPENED, I was left speechless. This was a hack with everything I ever wanted. Female shaman protagonist? Check. Focus on characters and psychology? Check. Well thought out and concise level design? Check. Chicks with really long hair? Check. With Midnight Sun, my desire to make Chronicles Of Lussaria waned.

I've seen it happen before, when you wanted to make something awesome, but you weren't able to complete it anywhere near fast enough(not that you should have rushed or forced yourself), and then something happened to take the opportunity away.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

the feels on these comments are strong. I fell victim to this with rage emblem, I was cranking out chapters fast as possible cause I wanted people to see what ideas I had. Sadly what came of it was a broken mess on chapter 1 and onwards (I curse you lightning strike code) while people never saw most of the jokes/events i was proud of. I even had a bard as a boss with a workaround to prevent him glitching out if he doubled.

edit:
+ the +1 to stats is a pretty cool reward
+its extremely hard to come up with other reasons why your units are fighting in the early game. Bandits may be the generic answer but any other group you are killing might as well be bandits at the end of it all.

I might play Rage Emblem, maybe, if I could actually download it, broken messes seem to be my specialty these days

I do think that it's hard to come up with good reasons for why your guys are fighting in the beginning. I guess there are some ways to do it, but really, it's hard to have large-scale battles when you have like 4 dudes.

You know, I must say...I really like the concept of the hack. The idea of the hack creator and a few of his partners discussing and then executing various scenarios, the Netherworld concept, the bonus tasks, the character interactions, the various game-mechanic jokes and references (Of course the Durandal was in the store. Why else do you think it was going to be destroyed?)...really, I think this could have been one of the best hacks out there. I honestly feel it's a shame that MarkyJoe has stopped working on it, as I personally see so much potential in this that could be reached and executed.

Just my 0.02$.

Me as well. Maybe he'll return to it someday. We can only hope...

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Chronicles of Lussaria: Episode 2: Chapter 1: Bandit chapter of DOOM

WARNING: Long update ahead!

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The first turn is uneventful, just us moving, with a few combat engagements.

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First enemy phase, and...an event already?

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Shigeid: What are the odds that bandits would attack this time ‘o day!? … More importantly, what are the odds that I’ll get out of here alive? I guess I’ll just hide here for now.

And that was the story of how Shigeid decided to just leave us alone for most of this chapter.

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And then Sorlene fails to dodge.

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After taking an axe to the face, her head must be split in half! Can't you just imagine the blood-

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...Nevermind.

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Most of our dude's death quotes look like this.

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New positioning, with Sorlene on a forest!

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Oh yeah, and in case you didn't believe the speed text box earlier...

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And of course, she dies anyway. YAY.

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Hah! NOW she's out of the range of that fighter! Everything should be okay though.

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Things happen, WHEN SUDDENLY...

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Turns out I forgot about the soldiers coming from the top.

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This time around, JONSIN WAS USEFUL

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...Until suddenly, he wasn't...

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And then, just when it seemed like Sorlene would make it...

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Yeah.

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Screw it, I'm accepting the help!

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Markyjoe's "Lussaria address" is totally the same, except that he uses a different insult.

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Uh... uhhhhhh... the third one!

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Yes.

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Markyjoe: Marina, Kinsan, and Shigeid aren’t available to you at the start. On top of that, your initial team is being approached from three sides. Did I mention, soldiers with javelins? Feltyn should head north to kill the first soldier wielding a javelin. The rest of your units should deal with the enemies coming from the sides. Take note the fighter with the steel axe coming from the east. On Turn 2, Marina and Kinsan will come out of the pub. Kinsan can’t do much, but Marina could meet up with Feltyn. When turn 3 arrives, Shigeid joins the fray with a comrade. Thankfully, neither of them are in any real danger. Shigeid should just sit on the nearby trees while his friend visits the nearby red house. Speaking of red houses, it’s important that you visit the OTHER red house on the map. A useful character is in there. For the Boss, Marina is ideal. She can defeat him in two rounds of combat. In fact, Marina can also lure out the boss, and as early as Turn 2, given you place her on the tile left of the topleft corner of the pub. She will most likely need some cover though. Feltyn can serve this purpose. If you land a critical hit, you can get a Turn 2 clear, but the more likely scenario is that you’ll have to finish him off on Turn 3. This will complete the low turn bonus task, and so long as you don’t get Kinsan KO’d or drop his liquor, the other bonus task is yours as well. The only other issue is visiting the red house due west of the pub. Poalski is best for this and can reach it in three turns, so long as you keep the path clear for him. The rest of your units need only deal with the enemies from the sides, though, you might need to lure the east mercenary so that Feltyn has a clear path to meet with Marina.

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Yeah, THAT was...a wall of text...to say the least, but it contained valuable info that I will now use to beat the chapter.

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YEEEAAAHHHH! But first, since I'm sure you're all curious-

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...Nevermind. The game crashed and started screeching at me before I could attack Markyjoe. Did it... did it sense my intentions?

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Okay, FROM THE BEGINNING! ...Not that we had made any progress PAST the beginning...

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I do as the game said and have Feltyn kill the soldier.

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Crit!

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Okay, THIS time , she can only be attacked by the fighter! WE CAN DO THIS!

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Turns out I forgot about the merc coming from the right! But she DODGED this time!

Seriously, Sorlene is in a TERRIBLE position this chapter. if you inch her even the tiniest bit forward, she disintegrates into a cloud of blood.

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Dead!

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...Not dead!

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Hurrah, more units!

Marina: I wonder how long I’ll last.

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Kinsan: Oh. That’s a loootta guys.

He's drunk.

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Kinsan: Haaaang on there, little missy. Hic! Jus’ gimme a moment and I’ll be back on my good ol’ footsies.

Marina: I don’t have time to deal with you!

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And thus, the gimmick is introduced! Kinsan is "carrying" liquor, which reduces his speed and skill to almost nothing. This early in the game though, that honestly isn't that big of a deal, it just means he's relegated to chip damage for the rest of the chapter.

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What happens if you "drop" the liquor, though?

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(Pardon the screenshot inconsistencies, I didn't catch the beer sprite right on the first try. It "dies" halfway through the cutscene, of course.)

So, once you sober him up, you can't get the ASM task reward anymore. If he dies, the drop event plays automatically, so don't try to bypass the system!

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Anyways! This is the spot we need to move Marina to to one-round the boss, but I'm not comfortable doing it with those bandits so close.

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Couldn't you get some defense or speed or something?

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Woah, ANOTHER excellent level! It's almost perfect!

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Oh, I guess this is a vendor?

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...I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything else.

(This is also the only place to spend your money. In the entire hack.)

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She's in danger! SAVE HER, JONSIN!

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Die, beast! DIE!

I'm not concerned about conserving the Zig. Stardust at all, because of how short this hack is.

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Epic dodges!

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He chipped, but he needs to get even more drunk if he's gonna do more!

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Another event!

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Shigeid: Perhaps if I’m quick enough, I can rendezvous with them and… Wait a minute… Where’s my axe!? I coulda sword I had it with-

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Oh?

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Oh hey there, miss redhead portrait!

Shigeid: I’ll say! You didn’t answer the door!

Yurino: Looks like I didn’t need to either. Anyways, you wanna reunite with your buddies, right? Take me with you.

Shigeid: No way! It’s too dangerous!

Yurino: I just swiped your axe. Who are you telling that to?

Shigeid: Tch…

Yurino: If you want it back, swear to me this. From now on, we are equals. Alright?

Shigeid: … Alright.

Yurino: Good. Now let’s get to work!

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And now they've joined the fight! Before I look at her...

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HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

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Yurino seems to be your standard "thief who will never be good at combat". It's especially true in this hack, because in the three maps remaining, she either A: Doesn't appear, or B: Appears at the end of a special event. And in THIS chapter, she comes at the end, surrounded by lance users! You'd almost Markyjoe has a grudge against her!

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I don't see the point in even trying, so Shigeid hops on the trees and starts MURDERING AWAY!

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Shigeid. If you want more murder in the future, AT ALL, you'd best shape up.

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First house!

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Oh, who are you?

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Flovu: Things have gotten a bit crazy outside this village, y’know? Though, I guess for you guys, it’s no biggie. So, mind if I tag along a bit?

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Respect = gone

Flovu: With this staff! Haha! I bet you thought I meant something else!

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She'd better be glad she "took back" that comment, because that's the only characterization she's ever going to get, ever. Regardless, Flovu is here to be our earlygame healer, and she's a troubadour instead of a cleric, which is actually pretty nice.

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Great, more speed!

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Marina takes a shot, and prepares for luring! It's the third turn, and the boss needs to be dead by the end of the next turn!

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Kinsan also pulls back, retreating to old habits.

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Healgrinding!

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Tactics!

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I AM SUCH A GOOD TACTICIAN

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Merc reinforcement? Okay.

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Yeah, it's pretty much impossible to rout this chapter in the 4 turns you're given.

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Next house!

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I like this guy, he's concise.

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Ah...

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...I guess some things never change. Crack is still an elixir, although it has a better-looking sprite now.

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I could finish things right now, but of course I opt to get as much XP as possible.

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Dead!

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What GROWTHS did you PUT on this lady, Markyjoe?

There were a few too many images to put in one post, so the conclusion update is coming soon.

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*unlurk*

Great LP, loving the commentary :D Also enjoying the hacks because sex jokes are always funny. I hope MarkyJoe continues giving creator commentary too, it's very interesting to listen to, almost like movie commentary in ways.

That being said, I don't have much to contribute to the thread, just wanted to say I'm enjoying every bit of the LP :D *relurk*

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*unlurk*

Great LP, loving the commentary :D Also enjoying the hacks because sex jokes are always funny. I hope MarkyJoe continues giving creator commentary too, it's very interesting to listen to, almost like movie commentary in ways.

That being said, I don't have much to contribute to the thread, just wanted to say I'm enjoying every bit of the LP :D *relurk*

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it!

Let's just get done with...

The CHAPTER 1 CONCLUSION!

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Our other prize for beating the boss. Very nice.

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Oh, what? Why did an assassin just walk in?

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Heh. Turns out he's just telling all remaining losers to get the heck away.

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And the civilians reign again! Although that line is a bit awkward...

Mayor: Please, if there is anything you need… Don’t hesitate to ask.

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Lussaria, she's not your typical FE protagonist.

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*GASP* TYPO!!!!

Mayor: And money with a night at the inn. I suppose.

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Yeah, the chapter could have been "rout" instead of "defeat boss".

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Sorlene: We’re all having a feast together!

Feltyn: Yeah… everyone… together…

Looks like he's still, uh... I don't know.

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Lussaria: Who’s asking?

Yurino: Ah, pardon me. My name’s Yurino. I saw you guys fighting out there. Pretty good stuff. I bet you’d be even better if you had a set of nimble fingers. Luckily, there just so happens to be a person around here like that: Me!

Lussaria: Nice little sales pitch you got there. But I don’t have any need for hoodwinking thieves.

I don't know, they're usually pretty loyal.

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Lussaria: You know her?

Shigeid: She’s a friend o’ mine. If ya want, I’ll keep an eye on ‘er.

Lussaria: Hm… I suppose I can live with that. Let’s talk more of this over dinner, shall we?

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Shigeid: Any time. Now. Let’s get goin’.

And that was how Yurino was formally recruited.

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Kinsan: I’m seeing three of you. That normal? I hope it’s normal.

Marina: Flattering. But I think you should get some rest.

Is this different if you got him sober?

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Anyways, TIME FOR SOME REWARDS!

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Oh yes! Another statboost!

Also, this makes me wonder: If the hack had continued, would EVERY character have had their own little bonus task, with it's own small stat boost? It probably would have been totally cool, unless you weren't using every character.

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Not that I'm ungrateful, but really, the LTC is basically where all the chapter's difficulty is coming from(and there is a LOT of it). Some gold doesn't seem like the greatest reward, and the lack of rout-ability makes us choose between money and XP, but then again, it's not like there's much else he could have done.

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NEXT TIME: The last complete level, and what might as well be considered the FINAL BOSS of this entire LP. You just bet it will be pretty awesome!

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I might play Rage Emblem, maybe, if I could actually download it, broken messes seem to be my specialty these days

ah shucks man, you makin me blush

but if you really are interested I could fix the game crashing bug in chapter 1 and throw you it in its last updated form. Its a concept hack because I was still learning shit and wanted people to have a playable demo instead of just ideas to show I was going somewhere with it. prologue and chapter 1 are pretty much done, 2 is just game play and 3 is game play demo but you can't beat the boss. up to you.

also the dialogue and jokes in chronicles of lussaria are waaaaaay better. feels like night and day now that I see the hacks back to back like this.

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ah shucks man, you makin me blush

but if you really are interested I could fix the game crashing bug in chapter 1 and throw you it in its last updated form. Its a concept hack because I was still learning shit and wanted people to have a playable demo instead of just ideas to show I was going somewhere with it. prologue and chapter 1 are pretty much done, 2 is just game play and 3 is game play demo but you can't beat the boss. up to you.

also the dialogue and jokes in chronicles of lussaria are waaaaaay better. feels like night and day now that I see the hacks back to back like this.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it's worth making a whole thread for...I have a special thread coming up where maybe you could do it, I dunno.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Chronicles of Lussaria: Episode 3: Interlude: The End of the Fun

WARNING: Long update ahead! AGAIN!

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Fun fact, it was originally planned that this whole level would be removed once Markyjoe updated the patch.

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And here we begin with Markyjoe's address!

Ephraim225: See? That wasn’t too bad.

Hector dude: Yeah. Pretty decent bandit chapter if you ask me.

Shaman guy: Indeed…

Markyjoe: ……

Ephraim225: …….

Hector dude: ……..

Shaman guy: … So what now?

I have to wonder, like, HOW MUCH does this affect the reality of the development? I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating here!

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Markyjoe: Um… So what should happen after the bandit attack?

Ephraim225: I guess this is the point in the plot where, like, some empire attacks. So. That.

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Yeah, Markyjoe, you gotta stand up against cliche design SOME time!

Markyjoe: Listen, Ephraim. Buddy.

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Yeah.

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*facepalm*

Shaman guy: Well, I’ve got one that might qua-

Markyjoe: No! For the last time, Overlord, we are NOT doing the surreal artist thing!

Overlord: Aw man…

Hector guy: That doesn’t make much sense anyway.

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Hector guy: Wait, what about the story?

Markyjoe: I’ll figure something out, okay!?

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Markyjoe just teleports out without responding.

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Hector dude: Ephraim, next to your work, anything looks impressive.

Anyways, I'm sure Marky will have the next chapter idea finished soon!

(hilarious in hindsight trololol)

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Make that MONTHS later.

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Hector dude teleports in. The other two have apparently just been sitting there for the past few days, living off Doritos.

Hector dude: Have any of you seen Marc? I finished a new portrait for the hack and I want to show him.

Overlord: Marc? Hm. I’m not sure. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him in a while.

Ephraim225: Me neither.

Hector guy: When was the last time you heard from him?

Overlord: I… think it was…

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Of course, Markyjoe is in an even WORSE situation.

Hector guy: … …

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Overlord: Nah. Of course not. How hard can writing a plot be?

Ephraim225: Perhaps we should check up on him. Just in case.

Hector guy: Sounds good to me.

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And then they exit...

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And then arrive at the really long hallway of pillars!

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A dragon sounds plays! GASP!

Hector guy: I hear something…

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Overlord: Couldn’t we just hack the door open?

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Is this actual code?

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Uh...

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Huh, everything looks nor-

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Whoa, WHAT?

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Oh no...

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He's turned into GOOD WRITE MARKYJOE!

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Overlord: So the legends are true…

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Heh heh?

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Your eyes look a tiny bit, uh...bloodshot?

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Once again, how much does this reflect reality?

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It's too late, Ephraim! He can't be cured with words!

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Some shaking and music starts, and...

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Markyjoe transforms INTO...

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Something that shall be revealed in a moment!

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Overlord: Ephraim, give me a crit boost with your sexy dance!

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Okay, I'll admit it, that was a good joke.

Overlord: … Oh yeah. I guess we’re screwed then.

Lack of a 10% crit bonus = screwed

SgtSmiles: No we’re not! I have something in mind… Follow my lead.

Even with my retroactive knowledge, I have no idea what he had in mind.

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At least he warns us.

END DIALOGUE

Well everyone, it's time for the epic conclusion to this LP(even if there is a "postgame")! Are you ready for...

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FINAL BOSS: MARKYJOE: DRACONIC VERSION!

Time for my REVENGE against the one who put me through all this!

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Also, note the insane movement range.

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Our dudes are all really good, and led by this guy, Smilies!

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The Eclipse axe would be useless for anything BUT pounding the dragon, but don't you just wish FE11 had the Giant Knife?

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Ephraim is the next guy, and he's pretty good too. I guess these are his TRUE stats, and he really was holding back in the beginning!

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Somehow, I get the feeling it's not as good as the original version.

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Overlord is the last one, with some very well-balanced stats.

Anyways, time to get to the fight!

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EVERYBODY CHARGE FORWARD!

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AAHHH THE PAIN

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We start things off with the power of the ECLIPSE AXE! Half of his HP is GONE GONE GONE!

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The Uberspear is actually a pretty useless weapon in this fight.

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The DURANDAL, however...

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I try to get a crit with OverLord, but it doesn't work.

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I think he's the only one who even HAS a death quote.

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Next try, he nukes Smilies! Seriously, there's no way to hit this thing without getting hit back, and everyone except Uberspear-wielding Ephraim dies in 2 hits. And we have no restoration items. This chapter actually requires strategy!

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Or luck. Luck works too.

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DEAD! Hahaha! THAT'S FOR CORRUPTION OF ROY!

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Oh no! Is it NOT OVER?

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Come on Marky! We need you back into your "bad/average writer" self!

SgtSmiles: There’s gotta be some way to snap him out of this!

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?

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Were you expecting anything else?

(For those who don't get it, this lady is Reisen from...Touhou or something...and is Markyjoe's fictional crush)

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I'm not sure whether to grin or cry.

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BUT IT WORKED!

SgtSmiles: How’d you know that’d work?

Overlord: I didn’t.

Markyjoe: Guys… I’m sorry. I got so obsessed with writing the plot that…

SgtSmiles: It’s fine, Marc. We’re glad that you’re working hard. And stuff.

Markyjoe: Unfortunately, I have to continue. Chapter 2’s plot is still incomplete.

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*months

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Markyjoe: You think so…?

Ephraim: Yeah. I mean, this was supposed to be a funny hack in the first place, right? I say we throw all seriousness out the window and go nuts!

Markyjoe: Maybe you’re right. No. You ARE right!

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I'd like to say it one more time, how much does this reflect reality?

SgtSmiles: We can make chapters on our own as well. If you need a break, we’ll cover for you.

Markyjoe: Thanks. Speaking of which…

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Markyjoe: Overlord. Do you want to write the next chapter. You’ll have full control over what occurs in it. Within reason, of course.

Overlord: Yes! Absolutely!!!

Markyjoe: It’s yours to make then. I’m… going to take a break.

This honestly just makes it worse. Surrealist artists with tommy guns would have made an AWESOME chapter.

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Don't worry guys, things aren't over QUITE yet! We still have these bonus map thingies! I'm fairly certain there are only two accessible ones, though there COULD be more in that patch Markyjoe said was more updates than the one I'm using. And, of course, Project Shoeshine after that! See you guys next time!

My IRL schedule recently got a bit more crowded, so you should expect a decrease in my update volume.

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Too lazy to separate shit, comments in purple

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it's worth making a whole thread for...I have a special thread coming up where maybe you could do it, I dunno.

That actually sounds like a pretty cool idea. Also could be a lot of work on keeping it updated as you get various different hacks so dunno.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Chronicles of Lussaria: Episode 3: Interlude: The End of the Fun

WARNING: Long update ahead! AGAIN!

Uj18rqi.png

Once again, how much does this reflect reality?

This is one of the funniest shit I have ever read in a FE hack about writing a FE hack

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I'd like to say it one more time, how much does this reflect reality?

you need to say this 50 more times

My IRL schedule recently got a bit more crowded, so you should expect a decrease in my update volume.

aww

I honestly think this should have been the final chapter and it would have been well accepted in the community. As my time lurking here, these sort of events happen way too much.

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Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Chronicles of Lussaria: Episode 4: Outdated Map 1: Falling Action

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Okay, here we go!

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Right away, we're thrown straight into the thick of things! This chapter us far more finished than the ones in Old/New Fire Mumblem were, so we can actually beat it.

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There's plenty of enemies around, but you might have noticed something: Yurino's missing. For no reason. As I said, she's nearly impossible to train in this hack, and next chapter...well, let's just say things get EVEN WORSE for her.

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This is the best I can do for a map. I missed a lot of room on the right side.

(Wait a minute, who's the green guy?)

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The crooks are level 3 now, but still, this chapter isn't really difficult. At all. It's a nice breather after Chapter 1, but the next chapter ramps things up again for the finish.

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He actually is kinda cute...

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The green Eliwood lord is Tangst, our resident stoner and deuteragonist(except he gets no dialogue so).

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Oh, and bronze weapons are a thing! Except...all bronze weapons are literally iron weapons with 5 more hit. Balance!

Then again, they were a WIP, so I can't really blame Marky here.

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Chip, and Jonsin gets a kill for an okay level!

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Tangst here is starting off on the right foot.

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And so is Marina, apparently!

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Where did your Corruption of Roy self go, Shigied?

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This is the kind of level I want from my knights!

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Still moving forward, but the situation on the right has gotten tense...

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Gee, thanks for the unnecessary critical...real helpful...

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Ow.

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Bandits come from the forts!

Also, while Tangst will come under some pressure eventually, there's no other reason to hurry. We can take our time on this one.

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Wait...

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HE HATH RETURNED TO KICKETH OUR BUTTS

(He's not that threatening though, in all honesty)

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Zap.

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Pegs! They aren't that strong, but they have lances, and can hurt Tangst.

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Lussaria just doesn't care about the mountain, and one-rounds Billy easily.

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And she gets a good level, too!

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Shigeid wants this!

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Time to save Tangst!

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This doesn't look amazing, but strength AND speed, on top of what she already has... I just have to wonder how she'd turn out if we raised her to a high-level sniper.

We'll actually find out. Eventually.

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I honestly can't tell what kind of unit Jonsin is. I thought about it, and concluded that he's the "prone to RNG screwage, but turns out great if if he gets lucky" unit.

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Dodge animations!

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BAM!

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Tangst gets bored and resorts to the one thing that can consistently cure his pain.

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More pegs? Wheee...

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And they have the +5 hit lances, too.

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Meh level!

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Shigeid trips! Dangit, pull yourself together, buddy!

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That's better.

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THAT STUFF WILL KILL YOU TANGST

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Flovu's first level! And it contains magic!

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Pretty much anyone can talk to Tangst, it seems. How convenient.

(And no, there's no dialogue)

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A standard lord weapon, but with 25 less uses! Hooray?

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Magic!

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Not-magic!

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Alright, let's leave.

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Despite there being working Eliwood-lord lance animations out there, Tangst doesn't have one. I remind you all, WIP!

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He vanquishes Derkin the Adorable and gets a "WOAH" level.

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NEXT TIME: The end of Chronicles of Lussaria!

Edited by TheMoniker
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Is it just me, or does Tangst look like a Splice with Sain as part of it?

Didn't notice that, but now that I think about it you're right.

Let's skip the intro and get straight to...

Chronicles of Lussaria: Episode 5: Outdated Map 2: All Good Things Come to an End

WARNING: YET ANOTHER LONG UPDATE

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This time, we see the intro for Lyn Mode chapter 4. Slowly, the complete-ness is deteriorating...

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This guy has a totally cool portrait, but it will never be seen or mentioned again, ever.

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Here we go!

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Nice, we get a prep screen this time!

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We have to leave someone out, so I drop the crutch character. Clearly, this is the best idea possible.

Also, SOMEONE IS MISSING...

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I'M SO PRO

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Our position...

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So. This map. It's slightly less difficult than Chapter 1, but only because there aren't any side-objectives. There's TONS of stuff going on, but the main thing I should explain to you is the FIRE TILES. They're EVERYWHERE, and placed to be as TROLL-TASTIC AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. We'll have to deal with them the hard way.

Oh, and the mage in the cell?

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Sorlene! WITH ALL HER XP AND ITEMS GONE! Of course, since this is a UTBC-WIP, it's forgivable, but still...

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The archer has a longbow, so...we'd best hurry to her!

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The guy on the throne is just a generic.

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You're probably wondering if there's a way to get to this chest. There isn't.

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Once again. WIP.

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Keys, so we can help Sorlene!

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Anyways, let's get started by POUNDING THIS SOLDIER!

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Moving forward...

Also, note Yurino's position!

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Ow!

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Tangst handles himself against these guys okay, thankfully.

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Dodge!

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Sorlene can take two hits, so you have three player phases to get to her, assuming she doesn't dodge any.

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Ah, the smell of roasted red unit in the I-can't-tell-what-time-it-is-because-underground...

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Hey, wasn't Yurino JUST-

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...Oh.

So, Yurino's a green unit now. And she's going to do what ALL thieves do: BEELINE FOR THE CHESTS! However, while NORMAL enemy thieves are smart enough to not attack enemies unless absolutely necessary, Yurino is NOT, and will happily throw her level-2-thief self against anything and everything in her way.

So, we kind of have to hurry and meet up with her before she's out of the corridor, but we can't, because there's tons of enemies and fire tiles make positioning hard.

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Let's hurry and get that door open!

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Speed! it makes so much of a difference!

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Holy crap, KINSAN MURDERED EVERYONE WITH FAITH

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AND THEN GOT A GOOD LEVEL

GOD IS REAL

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Okay, we have an extra turn now, but it doesn't matter because we were only a turn away from unlocking her cell anyway.

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Yurino moves forward. She's gonna hit that armor knight soon, if we don't hurry!

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Oh great, MORE enemies to slow us down!

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Despite the darkness surrounding him, Kinsan remained stalwart in his faith, and brought light to a world in shadow...

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Levels that don't really matter, hurrah!

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Open!

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Murder!

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Talk!

(Lussaria's the only one she can talk to, btw)

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We get ONE thunder tome, which doesn't QUITE make up for the lost XP/other items.

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Kinsan falters in his faith for but a moment, AND IS JUDGED

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OH THE PAIN

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MORE PAIN

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But Yurino is about to feel the most pain of all! We gotta hurry!

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WHAT, WHY

So yeah. The armor's gonna attack her from the front, Yurino won't be able to flee from the guys in the back, and she WILL die if we don't protect her.

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Oh, and because the back group just WASN'T ENOUGH, now THESE guys are gonna help out the armor!

As I said, this chapter's kinda insane, mostly because of Yurino.

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WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO WEAK

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He ends up tanking out the armor instead, distracting him from Yurino! Once again, Kinsan is SAVED BY FAITH(or possibly karma in this case).

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If you're wondering what's going on with the other group, Tangst is armor-baiting.

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I thought Jonsin was doomed. I was wrong.

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Kinsan, on the other hand...well, it was a necessary sacrifice. The way is opened for Yurino now, she can move out of the corridor-

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-OR she could stay in the corridor and attack enemies!

(I'm glad I gave her the Wave Runner now, otherwise she would have attacked at 1 range and made her life EVEN WORSE)

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Silly fighter, you gotta consider the flame tiles! Remember that in your next reincarnation!

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Anyways. We're kinda screwed here. Out only hope is that Yurino can hold out for another turn or two. If we can make it through this, then the chapter will be pretty much over.

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Level!

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Of COURSE he can't quite reach! I have to have him kill a shaman instead.

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The shamans/fire tiles are arranged in such a way that I can't kill the soldier, so...yeah.

There's only one hope now...

MUCH, MUCH RNG ABUSE LATER

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Totally legit misses!

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When the soldier's attack doesn't kill her, she can kill him back!

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She makes an intelligent decision by healing, but also an UN-intelligent one by going into that corner to heal! You'd have been much safer if you ran out into the main room, where we are!

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But, JONSIN HAS ARRIVED TO SAVE THE DAY!

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HE can handle these guys just fine.

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Also. The throne is empty now.

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And there's no seize option,

THEMONIKER PRESENTS: HOW NOT TO CLEAR OUTDATED MAP 2

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With Yurino's not-help, we manage to clear out all the enemies.

The chapter doesn't end.

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It's been eight turns.

The chapter isn't over.

(the last enemy is just due to screenshot discrepancies. Ignore it.)

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This is where I get bored and start killing off everyone.

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Flovu's death quote...

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Yurino makes it to chest, and it's not worth it. SO. NOT. WORTH. IT.

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Tangst dies, and has no death quote at all. I checked, he can't seize the throne either.

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I try to kill Yurino with a fire trap. I fail.

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Game over time, right?

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WRONG! Lussaria's game-over script(more specifically, the "send to the Netherworld" script, since her death doesn't cause a game over) is nonfunctional, so we can play on without her!

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Poalski bites the dust too,

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With no player units, it's just permanent other phase. Forever. And Yurino just stands there eternally, shocked at the death of her comrades.

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But what if we had LET Yurino die back when we had the chance?

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And then killed off both us and the enemies, one by one...

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And finally, when the last one bursts into flame again...

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There is nothing. No one left. The world is at a permanent standstill for all of time, with the "unit dead" music eternally playing in the background, and no one left to hear it...

THIS IS OBLIVION.

(but seriously, if anyone has an actual way to clear Outdated Map 2, feel free to tell me)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

As pretty much everyone has said, this hack is great, and it's a HUGE pity that it only lasts for few chapters. If it had been completed, it would have been one of the best hacks out there, but alas, it is not. Maybe someday, Markyjoe will step up and continue the project. We can only hope.

Markyjoe seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth thread again. Ah well, THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Project Shoeshine, coming up next!

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Hi there! As you may have noticed, I am one of the four main hackers who were a part of the story in the Chronicles of Lussaria. Though, honestly, I'm kind of trash at being an actual hacker, (Marc ended up teaching me shortly after I joined the team... man, that was a while ago.) My main role was making portraits, and helping with the story (which all of us did). Since I was, y'know, an actual part of this, I can provide a bit of commentary myself, I think.

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...

That is the BEST SPLICE EVER.

Why thank you! I made this on a whim one day. Originally, Ephraim225 just had Ephraim's mug, but I added a bit of a Fargus Flair to him.

Portrait BS:

Of note, the portraits that I made are as follows: Ephraim, Me(obviously), Marina, Tangst, and Jonsin.

Of these, I am most proud of myself, and Jonsin. My mug was me actually trying to make a good splice rather than a bad one, and I was just improving over this time. I think it still kinda stands up, to be honest. And Jonsin, while his armor is BLATANTLY stolen from elsewhere, I'm still kinda proud of how his expression makes him stand out, and it makes his personality visable. That was one of our goals going into the mug-making.

HOWEVER, Marina's mug is trash in this version. Straight up terrible. Grosses me out just looking at her.

That's why I updated her.

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See! That looks... well. I can still see flaws. Ouch. But hey! no more ridiculous brightest hair color!

Either way, Marina had endeared herself to me enough that I pretty much permissibly stole her to put into a hack of my own.

And also... forgive poor Tangst for being a bad Sain splice. He is, but I did that cape without splicing from anything, which was actually impressive for me at the time. Kinda sad really. But such is the progression of art. I can prove I'm not terrible, I swear!

Anyway. I'm not going to span the end of time replying to everything with what little meagre input I can actually muster. But I'll say some other things.

Firstly, the reason I'm a tactician in the first cutscene with us in it is that I have a weird obsession with mage classes. Basically, I wanted to be a Mage Knight, since they're kinda awesome. That's what the pauldron is for. Couldn't be a sage, either, since Marc already was one. But the problem is that Mage Knights aren't actually in the game. And neither Marc nor any of us wanted to add them, I ended up being a placeholder tactician, for the time being. And now, forever, I suppose.

Secondly, the first couple of chapters were basically totally collaborative. We'd write a lot of it together. Though, Marc was still the leader in the end. Of note, the chapters with us arguing were... surprisingly accurate. In fact, I'm pretty sure we ACTUALLY HAD the bandit argument and basically just ported it in. Funny how that works.

Thirdly, the interlude. At that point in the story, we didn't have a lot of ideas. We spent a long time not having anything, really. One day, Marc just showed up with this entire chapter he did on his own, pretty much. At least, as far as I remember it. This is why I'm a Great Lord inexplicably. I asked him, after we played it, and he basically just said he couldn't remember what class I was, and randomly picked one for me. It rolled on Great Lord. Also, I remember complaining a bit about my line regarding the Corruption of Roy, since I actually kinda like it. Either way, though, it fit the character I had going in the hack; who's slightly more of an asshole than I actually am. Only slightly though.

And, yes, "MAC1 0x00 0x00" is essentially the code to trigger map events, including opening doors. MAC1 is the "open door" code, and the two 0x00s are data that specifies which event, and whether you're turning it on, or off.

Man, it's been a while.

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Hi there! As you may have noticed, I am one of the four main hackers who were a part of the story in the Chronicles of Lussaria. Though, honestly, I'm kind of trash at being an actual hacker, (Marc ended up teaching me shortly after I joined the team... man, that was a while ago.) My main role was making portraits, and helping with the story (which all of us did). Since I was, y'know, an actual part of this, I can provide a bit of commentary myself, I think.

Hey, nice to meet you!

Why thank you! I made this on a whim one day. Originally, Ephraim225 just had Ephraim's mug, but I added a bit of a Fargus Flair to him.

And it worked!

Portrait BS:

Of note, the portraits that I made are as follows: Ephraim, Me(obviously), Marina, Tangst, and Jonsin.

Of these, I am most proud of myself, and Jonsin. My mug was me actually trying to make a good splice rather than a bad one, and I was just improving over this time. I think it still kinda stands up, to be honest. And Jonsin, while his armor is BLATANTLY stolen from elsewhere, I'm still kinda proud of how his expression makes him stand out, and it makes his personality visable. That was one of our goals going into the mug-making.

HOWEVER, Marina's mug is trash in this version. Straight up terrible. Grosses me out just looking at her.

That's why I updated her.

JiUGpNi.png

I actually thought the Marina mug was okay. Though, some of the pixels did look odd...that one is way better, though!

See! That looks... well. I can still see flaws. Ouch. But hey! no more ridiculous brightest hair color!

Either way, Marina had endeared herself to me enough that I pretty much permissibly stole her to put into a hack of my own.

And also... forgive poor Tangst for being a bad Sain splice. He is, but I did that cape without splicing from anything, which was actually impressive for me at the time. Kinda sad really. But such is the progression of art. I can prove I'm not terrible, I swear!

Anyway. I'm not going to span the end of time replying to everything with what little meagre input I can actually muster. But I'll say some other things.

Firstly, the reason I'm a tactician in the first cutscene with us in it is that I have a weird obsession with mage classes. Basically, I wanted to be a Mage Knight, since they're kinda awesome. That's what the pauldron is for. Couldn't be a sage, either, since Marc already was one. But the problem is that Mage Knights aren't actually in the game. And neither Marc nor any of us wanted to add them, I ended up being a placeholder tactician, for the time being. And now, forever, I suppose.

Okay, makes sense.

Secondly, the first couple of chapters were basically totally collaborative. We'd write a lot of it together. Though, Marc was still the leader in the end. Of note, the chapters with us arguing were... surprisingly accurate. In fact, I'm pretty sure we ACTUALLY HAD the bandit argument and basically just ported it in. Funny how that works.

That's...hilarious and amazing!

Thirdly, the interlude. At that point in the story, we didn't have a lot of ideas. We spent a long time not having anything, really. One day, Marc just showed up with this entire chapter he did on his own, pretty much. At least, as far as I remember it. This is why I'm a Great Lord inexplicably. I asked him, after we played it, and he basically just said he couldn't remember what class I was, and randomly picked one for me. It rolled on Great Lord. Also, I remember complaining a bit about my line regarding the Corruption of Roy, since I actually kinda like it. Either way, though, it fit the character I had going in the hack; who's slightly more of an asshole than I actually am. Only slightly though.

And, yes, "MAC1 0x00 0x00" is essentially the code to trigger map events, including opening doors. MAC1 is the "open door" code, and the two 0x00s are data that specifies which event, and whether you're turning it on, or off.

Oh, wow.That's meta to the max.

Man, it's been a while.

Well everyone, today we are playing Project Shoeshine! For those who need a refresher on the hack's history, Markyjoe basically made it as a place to dump all his spare level ideas into without having to put them in a "real" hack. He said he's keep producing as long as-get this-he had enough LP guinea pigs! But he didn't get enough, and like every other project here save Corruption of Roy, this hack ran out of steam long before any sort of "completion".

Of course, he's gonna get another LPer now! That's...that's why it's funny...heh...

Anyways, this hack pretty much takes all of its assets(portraits/weapons) from Chronicles of Lussaria. It has some stuff you won't find in CoL, though. Of course, CoL probably has them in data, they just aren't used.

Project Shoeshine: Level 1: Archerville: Fortress of Senselessness

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Level select!

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This isn't used for anything, and the dialogue is the same as CoL.

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And the intro...is also the same as CoL!

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So. The level select screen. Basically, you move Lussaria around so she can talk to the green units, which are the representatives for various levels. Despite having only two levels, Markyjoe had this set up for far, FAR more levels than anyone could EVER possibly make.

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Stats, if you're curious. They all have empty inventories.

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Anyways!

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Let's get started!

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Right away, we're thrown into some crazy madness! This chapter is pretty much an amalgamation of broken dreams, lost potential, and what's there is REALLY REALLY WEIRD. The more you look at it, the more things, crazy or otherwise, you notice. If the chapter had reached it's full potential, it would have been cool, but...it didn't.

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Whoa! Our dudes have been buffed! And we have siege tomes and stuff now!

Because I'm sure you're all VERY CURIOUS, I'm gonna show everyone's stats!

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Shigeid turned out okay. Pretty standard fighter stats, albeit with good speed.

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Flovu apparently miserably failed to gain good magic, but her staves can hopefully make up for it.

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So buff! And...he didn't get 1 point of speed! Just...put him in front of physical units and he can tank anything out, but don't expect good offense.

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Kinsan is pretty much the worst guy around. Seriously, compare his stats to Sorlene's. It's just terrible.

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Jonsin has bad stats and a special sword. Honestly, all these guys have really inconsistent stats with their CoL selves. I would like to believe Jonsin would at least get more skill/speed/defense for himself!

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Holy crap, Marina! LOOK AT THOSE OFFENSIVE STATS! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

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Yurino is still a bad thief. She didn't even max speed!

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Lussaria has well-balanced stats and a very versatile inventory.

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Feltyn only gained one level, but apparently got SUPER lucky on all his growths!

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Some of the archers have this, which is basically a better longbow.

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Oh, and the guy on the throne is a buffed Derkin!

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Guess what she does.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

No, really. She just sits there, no matter what you do to her.

...I think.

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First turn: Just moving forward!

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Ow! Shouldn't have let Yurino get into...combat!

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Lussaria, on the other hand, easily trashes everyone that comes her way.

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HEAL ORB!

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Oh no, a bolting mage!

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Also, there's a bug with this chapter. Specifically, occasionally, in between enemy movements, the game will stall and do nothing for a long time. I have no idea what causes it.

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There must be something special in here, right?

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Uhhhh...

So yeah, you can try to open this door, but it won't actually open. Ever. It just burns a lockpick use.

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ADVANCE WARS!

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OH. WELL THEN. I GUESS ARCHERVILLE IS LIVING UP TO IT'S NAME.

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It's at this point that I realize that there is literally no way to walk to the boss room. How the heck are we gonna get through?

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...Oh.

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Marina takes out a bunch of the archers. Eat it, losers!

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Oh hey, we can just kill the boss with siege tomes from afar! The game doesn't even require we sieze the throne! Of course, we'll have to get lucky...

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I do this because I'm curious. The game pauses for a moment like an event was triggered, but nothing immediate happens so I assume it was nothing.

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Cavaliers! That can't reach us! EVER!

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Oh wow, he critted!

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Sorlene finishes!

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...And gets a bad level!

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Well, that was easy...

Nah, I'm joking. Not done QUITE yet.

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There's something I must try first...

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MURDER!

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And yup, nothing happens.

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Now, I'm sure you all spotted a lot of stuff I could try, and you're like "MONIKER THERE WERE SO MANY POSSIBILITIES". I say that I didn't do them because I'm fairly certain that they were ALL POINTLESS. Although, it would be NICE if Markyjoe was here so we could get some confirmation...

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Wow. We have to skip the intro every time we go into level select. GAME DESIGN Nah it's cool, it's not like this project was ever really intended to be a thing.

NEXT TIME: Berserker Hills...how much harder could it be?

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