blah the Prussian Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) Edit from the future: So unfortunately Imageshack ate up all of the images I used. That means that the first fourth of the images I used are unfortunately gone. The Photobucket images are fine, however. Sorry for the inconvenience. Ah, so here we are at last! On a whim, yes ON A WHIM, I decided it would be fun to play through everymain series Pokemon game in their best forms (with the exception of the 3ds ones because no emulatorsexist for those) Chronologically, that should put Firered first, should it not? Yes, of course it should. I haveno idea when updates will be, but I will try to do so whenever possible. This is my first lets play, so theremay be some technical errors. So, without further ado, lets get started.Ah, the title screen.Guten tag!People call me Blah2127......but I am sometimes referred to as Blah!Pokemon are friends, we live with each other, yadda yadda yadda.Joke is overdone so I'm not going to make it.Why I chose this is a long story that I'm sure most of you don't want to hear.This joke is also overdone.I really hate U.S. president Woodrow Wilson. Like, really hate him. As in, someone who likes him is automatically my enemy. That's why I named my rival Woodrow.Starting things off with a bang.That's all for now. There will be more updates over the weekends, and less during the week, because School. Now, I need to actually play more of the game. Edited June 11, 2016 by blah the Prussian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squidmark Iggy Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Y'know, the screens are a bit small. Other than that, good luck! Though you won't need it: It's Fire Red, and it's a pretty easy game, if you know what you're doing. Also, if you ever need a teammate suggestion, why don't you choose Golduck? He needs some love :-> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skynstein Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Good thing you named FireRed the "best" form. It's inherently superior to LeafGreen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 21, 2015 Author Share Posted February 21, 2015 Y'know, the screens are a bit small. Other than that, good luck! Though you won't need it: It's Fire Red, and it's a pretty easy game, if you know what you're doing. Also, if you ever need a teammate suggestion, why don't you choose Golduck? He needs some love :-> If you click on the screenshots, that should cause them to be enlarged. I used Golduck in HGSS, and found it to be useful, so I may take it for a spin here. Good thing you named FireRed the "best" form. It's inherently superior to LeafGreen. True, true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 21, 2015 Author Share Posted February 21, 2015 Sorry for the double post, but part two! Home, sweet home. After attempting to venture into the tall grass, a mysterious old man interrupted me, informing me that it was dangerous to go alone, so I should take this! Oh god no I can't stop! He's making me follow him! I'm being kidnapped and no one is lifting a finger! He has taken me to this mysterious laboratory, no doubt to experiment on me! I must find a way out of this! My god! This old man is in cahoots with Woodrow Wilson, my old enemy! Wait, could it be? Could he be a double agent? Clearly, he lured Woodrow Wilson here, only for me to sic my Pokemon on him! Hah, don't you get it, Woodrow! Being a racist KKK supporter (note: actual fact) never pays! Prepare to die! Wait, what? So you'll give him one, too? That means that Woodrow was merely pulling a Voldemort, and wanted to kill me himself! Well, I will not be defenseless! Lets see the options. The cliche! The easy way out! And... THE BADASS AWESOME FRICKING TURTLE PANZER, You shall be christened Guderian, after the WWII German General who invented Blitzkrieg warfare. No, he wasn't a Nazi. Woodrow chose Bulbasaur, of course. Alright... lets dance! Bah! Ask the French how putting plants in Guderian's way worked out! (See Ardennes offensive in 1940) It worked out a little something like this. No potion, baby! (Note the goof regarding the volume display I made) This is what happens when you're Woodrow Wilson. Let that be a lesson to you. Healing up before heading out for the road ahead. As a side note, if you find the Woodrow Wilson hate annoying, let me know, and I'll tone it down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Looking like a good run so far, and educational too. I didn't know Woodrow Wilson supported the KKK, and I didn't know the French used plants as a military strategy. If you continue to use references like that, you'll have a unique let's play :) It's always interesting when video games are paired with another passion of whoever's playing them, in your case, history/military stuff. When you get the chance btw...check your PMs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 21, 2015 Author Share Posted February 21, 2015 Looking like a good run so far, and educational too. I didn't know Woodrow Wilson supported the KKK, and I didn't know the French used plants as a military strategy. If you continue to use references like that, you'll have a unique let's play :) It's always interesting when video games are paired with another passion of whoever's playing them, in your case, history/military stuff. When you get the chance btw...check your PMs. Thanks for the kind words, although the French didn't literally use plants as a military strategy. What I was referring to was that the main weakness of their Maginot Line against the Germans in World War Two was through the Ardennes Forest. They didn't think the German Panzers would be able to get through the forest, but the Panzers were much more all terrain than they anticipated. As a result, the Germans were able to get through the forest before the French could react, and engage them on the open field, where the Panzers carried the day. From there, the Germans were able to advance to Paris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 New update! Off to route one! As a note, my rule with random encounters in this game is to always fight them until Viridian Forest. Protip: this Pokemart employee will give you a Potion, so pick it up to save money. On the way to Viridian, Guderian learned Bubble. Healing up in the Pokemon Center, I decided to check out the gym... ...but was stopped by this old man, who refused to let me through, claiming it was private property. I know capitalism can sometimes get out of hand, but I don't believe that the state has public roads for sale. Heading into the Pokemart, I was brutally conscripted by this man here into delivering a parcel to Professor Oak. Given that Oak is in league with Woodrow, I dare not imagine what horrors lie within it. Hopping down the ledges makes returning to Pallet town easier. Congratulations, Oak. You just made use of child labor. I hope you're happy. Asshole. YOU AGAIN, Clearly, Oak was disappointed by his previous failiure to assist Woodrow in eliminating me, so tried again! How could I have been so naive? Long story short, Oak wants to use me as child labor AGAIN, this time to capture dangerous monsters. This is what happens when your town has no police department. As long as revisionistic college professors try to paint you as anything other than a terrible person, Woodrow, I will always be necessary. Woodrow if you say the word sis one more time I will cause your soul to be swapped with that of Tommy Wiseau. Needless to say, Woodrow's sister didn't listen to him. She was probably mad at him for opposing the Sufferage movement. Well. Wasn't this a productive day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Well, aren't you guys lucky; two updates in one day! Back in Viridian City, lets head off on my journey to find the champion of this region and inform him that Professor Oak is using child labor. My team, for those who care. Oh god sir help please there's this professor and he's making me fill out some weird encyclopedia and wait what no I don't need to know how to catch a pokemon WHATAREYOUDOING. I'd like to take this moment to point out that this tutorial pretty much utterly fails as a tutorial because it only shows the part of catching Pokemon that would be painfully obvious to a five year old, and none of the strategy. He then gives me the Teachy TV, for even more useless tutorials! Moving on to Route 22, I decided to catch this Mankey. I named it Vorbeck, after the German General Paul von Lettow Vorbeck. Notice a pattern? Vorbeck was a pretty cool guy. He fought a guerrilla campaign in the African Jungle against the British in WWI, which is why he's a Mankey, because monkeys are in the jungle. After the war, Hitler offered him a position in the German Wehrmacht, to which he replied "Go fuck yourself." Those exact words. He was the only German ever to mouth off to Hitler and live. Anyway, time to train up Vorbeck! The team after training. Anyway, with that, I decided to head to the Pokemon League to inform the champion of the nefarious actions of Professor Oak... ...only to be interrupted by Woodrow. Blast. He informs me that I need all eight badges to enter the Pokemon League. Oh come on! Resolving to toughen up to beat the Gym Leaders, I decide to make Woodrow my training. Realizing that this matchup is not ideal, I switch into Guderian. Woodrow's Pidgey decided on the fiendish tactic of blinding Guderian with sand! None of that, however, prevented its defeat. Next up was Bulbasaur, who was no match for Vorbeck's machete. And with that, Woodrow was defeated. Well, if I'm going to get all of the badges, Viridian is a good place to... OH COME ON! Well, according to the map, the next town is Pewter, so that's where I'll go. Nothing will stop me on my quest for justice. Not Woodrow, not the gym leaders, not... a forest? Huh. Uh... not a million dollars? No? Damn. Next time: Viridian forest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 Off to Viridian Forest, the bane of everyone's childhood. And here we are. Anyone else pissed ORAS didn't bring these pre dungeon pictures back? Viridian Forest, in a small fraction of its glory. Good to know, good to know. Heading into the forest, I discovered something about myself: I have a very low tolerance for grass. God dammit, I'm not going through all of that! That leaves this way, then. It has a nice, grassless, path. As I headed north, I was challenged by a trainer! He had a Weedle and a Caterpie! A WEEDLE AND A CATERPIE! Good god, you people are weak. What are you talking about, good sir? Do you need a drink of water? Some tea, perhaps? Or watching my team of small, domesticated creatures beat up your team of small, domesticated creatures. Whatever floats your boat. There now, doesn't that feel better? Take a deep breath and run along home. Note that Woodrow and I are the only trainers with Pokedexes, so that means that whoever put up this sign did it with us specifically in mind, and put it here on the off chance we'd pass through. Heading up north, I find... more grass. Splendid. This patch looks unavoidable. Mad dash in three, two, one... Since the file was for some reason too big to upload, I'll just say I had a lot of Random Encounters and leave it at that. Next time: the rest of Viridian Forest and the gym! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Does anyone have any idea as to why my IPad thinks all of the screenshots for this LP are too big to upload? I'm playing this on GBA4IOS. I have no idea as to why I can't upload any images! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Does anyone know how to post images from Imageshack on the forum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 The LP will continue with links for the screenshots. https://imageshack.com/i/idcUCEd2j Oh hell yes I did. Welcome back to Pokemon Firered after a long hiatus. Anyway, I'll just skip to the end of Viridian Forest. https://imageshack.com/i/pbRT9Eydj Ah, here we are, nearing the start of the next bastion of civilization... https://imageshack.com/i/idCGGDjQj Pewter City. It took one week of trying to figure out how the hell Imageshack works, but here we are! https://imageshack.com/i/id2mFUf7j Well, if I want to expose Professor Oak's fiendish child labor scheme to the Champion, Pewter Gym is a good place to start. https://imageshack.com/i/idzWZhufj This Gym has no puzzle whatsoever. You walk in a straight line and face a trainer, or you can go around him. https://imageshack.com/i/exro4GFJj Kid, I am actually two spaces from facing Brock. You really fail at mathematics, don't you? https://imageshack.com/i/ex6wDceuj Camper Liam here has as part of his fearsome Pokemon arsenal a Geodude and a Sandshrew. They both go down with ease. https://imageshack.com/i/eyeqEUnBj This has been another episode of Camper Liam the Science Camper. https://imageshack.com/i/idynvsGjj Brock is the first hurdle I must overcome on my quest to bring to light Professor Oak's child labor ring. https://imageshack.com/i/exeYu4xUj Brock's first Pokemon is Geodude. Geodude has high Defense, but low Special Defense. https://imageshack.com/i/f0CfYURfj Geodude is no match for Guderian. He goes down in two Bubbles. That should show how shitty of a move Bubble is. Woodrow probably invented Bubble. https://imageshack.com/i/f0drEzScj Onix, however, is more problematic. It is faster than Vorbeck, and, unlike Geodude, can actually dish out some damage with its Tackle attack. fortunately, Vorbeck has a secret weapon: https://imageshack.com/i/f0sUNM8Lj Low Kick does more damage to Onix because Onix is heavy. In this situation, Onix is faster, but I deal more damage. It will be a battle of attrition. https://imageshack.com/i/exHBTYMRj Fortunately, Vorbeck is able to pull through. Being a WWI veteran, he should know all about wars of attrition. https://imageshack.com/i/idznZ1Poj As a result, Brock has been defeated. If you picked Bulbasaur or Squirtle, he's pathetically easy. Anyway, one down, 7 to go. Or 9, if you're Gary Oak. Next time: the road to Mount Moon! Oh, and by the way, how much of the trainer battles should I show? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Sorry, didn't see this sooner~! I'm a fan of imgur, which allows you to upload a screenshot or twenty, then spits out each image with its own URL. Use the BBCode one for these forums. Hope it helps~! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 Sorry, didn't see this sooner~! I'm a fan of imgur, which allows you to upload a screenshot or twenty, then spits out each image with its own URL. Use the BBCode one for these forums. Hope it helps~! I'm using Imageshack right now. Do the links not work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 Hi all, welcome bcd to Pokemon Firered! Last time, we beat Brock, this time, we will come face to face with straw feminists and bizarre cults dedicated to Shorts! https://imageshack.com/i/exVNLioFj Oh crap, it's Oak's aid! He must be here to recapture me! https://imageshack.com/i/exV8r6Zej YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! https://imageshack.com/i/ipaAGczMj Hah! My indomitable resolve scared him off! Run, coward, run! All shall flee before the mighty Dogson! https://imageshack.com/i/f0Lfm4yUj Oh god, what horrid truths could be hidden within this letter? The truth behind the JFK assassination? The news that we are all secretly ponies from that kid's show my sister likes too much? The news that there will be a SEQUEL TO THE ROOM?! https://imageshack.com/i/idopqZUej https://imageshack.com/i/ipueV7otj https://imageshack.com/i/p9wpn5cfj No, it's just a letter from Mom. She encourages me to never give up in my unending fight against Professor Oak... or something. https://imageshack.com/i/eyxARacGj Anyway, heading out onto the route, I was confronted by the worst horror of all... a straw feminist! These terrifying creatures haunt the comment sections of Youtube in their everlasting battle with the Mens Rights Activists, while the rest of us merely look on in awe of the stupidity of it all. https://imageshack.com/i/eypLbdP7j This bug catcher claims to be from Viridian Forest. I don't seem to remember him... come to think of it, my memory of about half of Viridian Forest is extremely iffy. I wonder why that could be? https://imageshack.com/i/ex64FUUhj https://imageshack.com/i/idcBjxmuj Straw feminists and Bug Catchers out for revenge were not the only obstacles I would have to face to reach Mount Moon, however. No, there was also the terrifying Shorts Cult, a group of Youngsters dedicated to the worship of shorts. Great, as if the Otherkin and the Scientologists weren't enough, now we have to deal with short cultists, too?! https://imageshack.com/i/idWhZGP6j Oh God, no! Another Short Cultist! Get away from me! I'm not interested in this crazy faith of yours! https://imageshack.com/i/idasVc54j This guy, on the other hand, is completely normal, merely wanting a good battle. Leave while you still can! The Straw Feminists or the Short Cutists will get you! https://imageshack.com/i/f08Nou5Dj This girl, too, doesn't seem affiliated with the Straw Feminists. That gives me hope. (Note: I might as well use this time to put up a disclaimer: I fully support mainstream feminism. I am merely objecting to the Straw Feminists who give ammo to people like Rush Limbaugh. Note that I also inserted a jab at MRAs.) https://imageshack.com/i/p8NrBTNwj Down here is a patch of grass. This is a good thing. There is a Pokemon there I want. https://imageshack.com/i/f0dYE3Olj Unfortunately, I was ambushed by another Straw Feminist. Guderian and Vorbeck made short work of her miserable excuses for Pokemon. https://imageshack.com/i/p58hI654j And here is the Pokemon I want: Nidoran Male. It evolves enough to remain good throughout the game, and it's final evolution looks badass. https://imageshack.com/i/pcURQqVdj Nidoran, you are hereby christened The State. Why The State, you ask? Well, Nidoran's final evolution is Nidoking. King Louis XIV of France was a famously autocratic ruler, who centralized France and did a lot to decrease to power of the nobility. Unfortunately, his grandson Louis XV screwed it all up, but that's besides the point. Anyway, Louis had a famous quote where he said "I am the state!', claiming divine right to rule. Louis was a badass king, and so my Nidoran references him. It's people like him who make Revolutionaries piss their pants in fear. https://imageshack.com/i/exi15hvaj After some grinding, this is the status of team Dogson. https://imageshack.com/i/f0nSYrbtj Will Dogson escape the Straw Feminists and the Short Cultists? Will he defeat Professor Oak? Will he be swamped by thousands upon thousands of annoying Zubats in Mount Moon? Find out next time, except for the last one, because if you don't know the answer to that, shame on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I'm using Imageshack right now. Do the links not work? The GOOD thing about embedding images is that I don't have to leave this page every single time I want to view a picture (and imageshack is somewhat laggy for me, totes their fault). Then again, I haven't clicked every single image, so the best I can say is the random sampling of images I did view worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 The GOOD thing about embedding images is that I don't have to leave this page every single time I want to view a picture (and imageshack is somewhat laggy for me, totes their fault). Then again, I haven't clicked every single image, so the best I can say is the random sampling of images I did view worked. I actually tried embedding the images, but the forum wouldn't let me post it. It only worked when I used links. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 9, 2015 Author Share Posted March 9, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone, welcome back to Pokemon Firered. Last time, Dogson came face to face with Straw Feminists and Short Cultists. This time, we'll be facing something worse than both... Zubat. Lots and lots of Zubat. https://imageshack.com/i/p1ciSrUoj Welcome to Mount Moon, in all of it's Zubat infested glory. https://imageshack.com/i/ipfYyAiEj This sets the tone for the rest of the cave quite nicely, in my opinion. In fact, I kept count of how many Zubats we encountered in this cave. I will disclose this at the end of the update. https://imageshack.com/i/f05xyB1bj You know what's really suspicious? The fact that there isn't any other way to get from Pewter to Vermillion other than a Zubat infested hellhole. Apparently Kanto is still a developing region. Unova's the only one with paved roads! https://imageshack.com/i/ipKRTheMj I use this Rare Candy to level up Vorbeck. https://imageshack.com/i/f06yxK2qj Going through here, two questions come to mind: one, why is this girl running around in circles. Two, how did craters get inside a cave?! https://imageshack.com/i/ex3Bvsdvj No, I just enjoy vacationing in Zubat infested hellholes. YES, WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE HERE FOR, YOU MORON?! https://imageshack.com/i/eyOST5Rqj https://imageshack.com/i/p1YasA0mj At some point in the cave, Guderian and The State both evolved after the same battle. https://imageshack.com/i/p3FuHAdej Going down these ladders (taker a moment to ponder why anyone would use time and money to put ladders here) gets me to this corridor. https://imageshack.com/i/exQpvRJBj Down another ladder is this room. It has a suspicious looking individual in it. Could he be the one that Bug Catcher was talking about? https://imageshack.com/i/pcIyip5mj Huh. A cave is an... interesting place for gangsters to hang out. Don't you have people to heave off docks or something? Anyway, hate to break it to you, buddy, but I've faced Straw Feminists, Short Cultists, and Woodrow. Gangsters don't scare me! https://imageshack.com/i/pcirFckpj In the same room, there was a Star Piece, which you can sell for a lot of money. TEAM ROCKET ARE THE WORST GANGSTERS EVER! How did they not notice this? https://imageshack.com/i/p84EHiYPj Ah yes, you're pulling a "big job". Unless your plan is to steal all the Zubats from this cave and somehow convert them into money , thus crippling the economy through inflation, because there are so damn many Zubats in this cave, I don't see how you could be pulling a "Big job". https://imageshack.com/i/ipUnkcNlj Ah, so their evil plan is to... go on an archeological dig. Really? That's not even illegal! I mean, if you find the fossils, you can do whatever you want with them, right? You guys are terrible gangsters! That's it! Whenever I see you, I will attack on sight, because all of you are COMPLETE IDIOTS! https://imageshack.com/i/idY2yS4mj Wait, so the fossils were here all along? If that grunt had just walked a few steps up, he would have found the fossils! Anyway, this jackass has announced that the fossils are his. I'm not going to dispute this, but he attacked me. https://imageshack.com/i/f05np1HXj So see, here we are, doing the EXACT SAME THING Team Rocket was trying to do! Either the police force or Team Rocket are hopelessly incompetent. My money's on both. https://imageshack.com/i/idxBAA60j I chose the Dome Fossil. No reason, really. https://imageshack.com/i/pcP2o1gjj Just beyond the fossils, the exit beckons. After a trainer less route, I arrive in Cerulean City. https://imageshack.com/i/p8uqsLEjj Say, didn't I have a Moon Stone? And didn't I read somewhere that Nidorino evolved with a Moon Stone? https://imageshack.com/i/paK99WRmj This is gonna be good. https://imageshack.com/i/p94JAr5Mj Aw, yeah! The State has divine right to evolve! Next time, we take our new and improved The State for a spin against Woodrow and the Premier Competitive Pokemon Community! Also, 23. Fucking. Zubats. Edited March 9, 2015 by blah2127 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Welcome back to Pokemon Firered! Last time, we dealt with more Zubats than the population of China, and evolved The State! https://imageshack.com/i/ipwumrzOj Heading up to the Premier Competitive Pokemon Community, I run into... him. https://imageshack.com/i/ipJrUQudj I caught a giant badass dinosaur who is also royalty. Wait, do you realize what this means? It means that one of my Pokemon is a FANFIC CHARACTER! https://imageshack.com/i/pbLsd19uj Woodrow, I think you'll find I have a little surprise for you. https://imageshack.com/i/exwZdbz2j Guderian makes short work of Pidgeotto. It will only take two water guns to take down... https://imageshack.com/i/eyAMC9zpj Unfortunately, Woodrow switches out into his Bulbasaur. I think it's time for you to meet a very good friend of mine, Woodrow. https://imageshack.com/i/pbDIGjXTj And with that, Woodrow shat himself. https://imageshack.com/i/ip6um1Udj The State utterly destroyed Bulbasaur, and Pidgeotto goes once more into the breach. https://imageshack.com/i/p38y1VKYj I'm sure Woodrow will keep this Ratatta with him forever. https://imageshack.com/i/id8l6M9dj Abra only knew teleport. It literally just sat there as my team wailed on it. https://imageshack.com/i/exdiJrGkj And with that, Woodrow was defeated again. Bill, eh? I might seek him out and see what he has to offer. https://imageshack.com/i/f0BICw7lj As my reward, I was given a Nugget. Good enough. https://imageshack.com/i/ex50ClEKj What? Why would I join you morons? You call yourselves gangsters, and yet you haven't done anything illegal yet! https://imageshack.com/i/hlS35XsOj No. Just no. You do not insult the greatest gangster movie ever by being aware of its existence. I will destroy all of Team Rocket for this INSULT! https://imageshack.com/i/f01FN1oKj And being a top leader of Team Rocket would put me at half the intellect of the normal people. https://imageshack.com/i/ip9GLbpnj On the way to Bill's house, I ran into this poor bastard. Who names their kid Nob? https://imageshack.com/i/f0agqIsIj Huh. I never took Bill for a brony, but here he is, cosplaying as a Clefairy. https://imageshack.com/i/exAetTkdj https://imageshack.com/i/idnWbJgUj Bill, apparently, has got his zipper stuck. I helped him out, and collected my reward. https://imageshack.com/i/f0yFGvsqj Wait, WHAT?! Bill, you're a Neo Nazi? How DARE you! No, I will not join the Waffen SS, thank you very much! Good day to you, sir! https://imageshack.com/i/id0j8UL5j Next time, I'll take the anger out of my system by taking on the Death Star. You know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Hello and welcome back to Pokemon Firered. Last time, we learned that Bill is a Neo-Nazi, and were invited to approximately halve our intellect. This time, we will fight one of the best Pokemon in the game, and make our way to Vermillion City! https://imageshack.com/i/p7KDGLrnj And, here we are, at Cerulean City Gym. It is theoretically possible in generation 2 to use surf to skip all of the trainers. https://imageshack.com/i/exq3lQN3j Uh, I'd rather not "do it" with you. https://imageshack.com/i/p99RXZ9Gj No, no, no! I know I am handsome, but you're way to young to be doing this! https://imageshack.com/i/f0dvVAUBj Ah, perfect. Alright, Misty, that swimmer was to weak to do it with, and that girl was way too young for Pokemon battles, but you're perfect!... What? You thought I was talking about something else? Get those dirty thoughts out of your mind. https://imageshack.com/i/pbVZpwAoj Policy? I AM MY POLICY! https://imageshack.com/i/id4GMaRPj Uh, that's actually a really terrible policy. Like, seriously, that has to be one of the most vague policies I've ever heard. https://imageshack.com/i/p1QAO7Njj In any case her first Pokemon is Staryu. Guderian's Tackle attack WOULD have beaten it... https://imageshack.com/i/f0lAc8Puj if it weren't for the fact that she was a cheater, and used a goddamn SUPER POTION! https://imageshack.com/i/f0CAbwTGj A few more tackles, though, and Staryu is down for the count. https://imageshack.com/i/ipcJHT82j It is followed by Starmie, the first enemy fully evolved Pokemon in the game! (Onix was fully evolved in Generation 1, but not in FRLG) No matter, The State should be able to deal with this! https://imageshack.com/i/p5lSswfzj Or not. I realized too late that The State was weak to Water. XD https://imageshack.com/i/ey2pKz13j Fortunately, Guderian comes to the rescue with his Bite attack, which is super effective versus Psychics. Misty goes down. https://imageshack.com/i/ipsY3QGlj You know, the Gym leaders of tho region really aren't that competent, are they? I beat Brock and Misty rater easily. https://imageshack.com/i/ipgQVj4gj Niether, evidently, are the Police force, who apparently have trouble with Team Rocket. Wow. I guess that's what having all the tax dollars going to free health care for Pokemon will do to you. https://imageshack.com/i/p9B67qCej To reiterate: so far, Team Rocket's "crimes" have been archeological expeditions and trashing someone's house and stealing their TM. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, POKEMON GANGSTERS!!!!!!!! https://imageshack.com/i/ipC5i6Thj My god. You people are some of the least competent criminals I have ever seen. This Grunt's idea of an escape is chilling in the yard of the people he just robbed. Just for that act of stupidity, sir, I suggest you never have children. Truly, it would be a disaster for the human race for your genes to be passed down. https://imageshack.com/i/ipsVlshMj You know, this looks like a good time to point out that this is the second time IN A ROW that we've been doing exactly what Team Rocket did. In Mount Moon, we took a fossil. Here, I gave the TM to The State instead of returning it to its rightful owner. https://imageshack.com/i/idPmvXB1j Anyway, defeating the grunt gives us access to the route south, leading to Saffron City. There aren't any trainers on it. https://imageshack.com/i/p8ubRFIzj Down here, though, is the Day Care. I didn't leave any Pokemon here, though. https://imageshack.com/i/paypVDiRj OH, YOU JERK! No matter how much you try, you can't get past this guy. I will be back later, SIR! And when I do, I would advise you to start saying your prayers! https://imageshack.com/i/ipXAOAOvj Fortunately, this route here leads under Saffron City. I can use it to get to Vermillion. A good thing, too... otherwise I'd have to use the Walk Through Walls cheat. https://imageshack.com/i/exSnnxu4j The pathway leads to this rather short route hers. South of that is Vermillion. https://imageshack.com/i/ipvSeKTlj Screw that, I'm the NSA! NOTHING IS PRIVATE! https://imageshack.com/i/pcpltTy8j This cheeky little Butterfree tried a Parafusion strategy on me. Fortunately, I got insanely lucky. https://imageshack.com/i/eyxGRJNVj he said as he strode right up to me, without any prompt whatsoever. https://imageshack.com/i/eyezTvRqj And here is Vermillion City, sight of many horrors. https://imageshack.com/i/f0EGkeZZj Firstly, there's the Pokemon "Fan" club, a brutal place where innocent people are forced to listen to it's sadistic director ramble on about his Rapidash. https://imageshack.com/i/ipqqiJSVj Then, there's the SS Anne, home of Kanto's Neo Nazi society. https://imageshack.com/i/ipCaIpI7j Unfortunately, the gym leader, has a cuttable tree in front of his gym that can only be obtained by destroying the Neo Nazis. Lets do it. Next time, we bust up Kanto's Neo Nazis, see Woodrow take his racist beliefs to their logical conclusion, and fight a gym leader who is trying to replace Ben Franklin as a "Lightning American". See you then! Edited March 15, 2015 by blah2127 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Welcome back to Pokemon Firered! Last time, we beat Misty and made it to Vermillion City. This time, we'll deal with the sinister Neo Nazis of Kanto! https://imageshack.com/i/f0crxgsrj And here we have the belly of the beast. Guderian, Vorbeck, The State, the time has come to wipe out the stain of Neo Naziism from the land! https://imageshack.com/i/exzNMeCAj This Neo Nazi warns me that his compatriot may challenge me to a battle. If they do, be it on their own heads. https://imageshack.com/i/pbB3AkPXj My god. A French... I mean Kalosian Neo Nazi. I thought you traitors all died with Vichy Kalos! Charles De Gaulle spits on you! (Note: In real life, Vichy was the capitol of the French Fascists who collaborated with the Nazis. They did a bunch of traitorous stuff, like turn Jews over, and th movie Casablanca takes place in Vichy Africa. They were knocked out of the war in 1943 by the American invasion of North Africa, called Operation Torch. The operation marked the first American action in the European theatre of the war.) https://imageshack.com/i/p9kKPBGpj Being a Neo Nazi will cause people to hate you. I bet that the only reason your Pokemon follow you is that they're too stupid to realize who you really are! https://imageshack.com/i/ipJyP4yvj Figures that the only one to realize the weirdest part of the Pokemon universe would be a Neo Nazi. Seriously, though, I think this is the only guy in the entire series to call the player out for blatantly trespassing on private property. https://imageshack.com/i/idEzU401j This poor kid will probably be corrupted by his parent's ways. It's no good loving Pokemon if you hate those you consider racially inferior, kid. Take that advice to heart. https://imageshack.com/i/p8X0oV0Mj Oh, good. Finally, someone is doing something about the Neo Nazi menace. I mean, come on. Whose a bigger threat? Team Rocket? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! https://imageshack.com/i/pdgEnvrbj Oh, you motherfucker. I have nothing to say to you. https://imageshack.com/i/eyxKaEdsj Down here are some more cabins. Nothing notable so far. https://imageshack.com/i/f0Aihf4Yj OH MY GOD WHAT? Get away from me! Taste the power of divine right! https://imageshack.com/i/f0PYzIPAj Oh god, the Neo Nazis and the Japan apologists have banded together to spread historical revisionism! God save us all. https://imageshack.com/i/pbgCKAhxj Out here is the deck of the ship. There's nothing really of note. I have to find the captain and force him to leave Kanto! https://imageshack.com/i/exkkxJH3j Down here is the kitchen. No captain here. That leaves only one place to check. https://imageshack.com/i/ipzCWblLj Woodrow! You traitor! I always knew you were a gigantic racist, but to fall in with the Neo Nazis? That's too far, even for you. He also seems to have fallen in with the Vichy Kalosians, based on his greeting. https://imageshack.com/i/ipvAM03Mj I'm taking you down, Woodrow, for the good of everyone ashamed to share a species with you! https://imageshack.com/i/f0khGHPrj First up is Pidgeotto. The State destroys it with Thrash. Then it continues right on with his Raticate, Thrashing it so hard that it's knocked into another dimension. Any dimension would be better than this one, what with Woodrow existing and all. https://imageshack.com/i/exPgjzYej Next up is Kadabra, a Pokemon significantly less useless than it was when it was an Abra. However, The State's Thrash attack continues, sweeping Kadabra aside with ease. https://imageshack.com/i/paG7W2Rxj Woodrow's final Pokemon is Ivysaur. Unfortunately, it puts Vorbeck to sleep, so I have to switch out to Guderian. https://imageshack.com/i/pbPGPybHj Despite the type disadvantage, I get lucky with some Bite flinches, and so Guderian carries the day, like he always does. https://imageshack.com/i/ipkrQslXj Tell me something, Woodrow: why wouldn't I be raising my Pokemon? It's the best way to make you look like a moron, which admittedly isn't hard, but still, every bit helps. https://imageshack.com/i/ey9bOwCwj Continuing on, I reached the Captain's quarters, where I gave him a back rub in exchange for leaving Kanto permanently. https://imageshack.com/i/id1lFGATj He also gave me Cut. With this, I can reach the Vermillion Gym. https://imageshack.com/i/exCsAxznj Goodbye and good riddance! Next time, we take on the most American of all the gym Leaders. I don't know when it will be up (we're staying after school to ask the Palestinian ambassador to the Czech Republuic questions tomorrow) but expect it sometime next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Jesus Christ, SOMEONE doesn't want this sucker getting updated. I just recovered from the flu. Fortunately, basking in my own bacteria in bed gave me time to write an update, so here we go! https://imageshack.com/i/p5hbXRCwj Not wanting to waste Cut on an actual team member, I caught a Diglett in YOU DAMN WELL KNOW WHERE I CAUGHT A DIGLETT and named it Slavedig. https://imageshack.com/i/p8pd5aUej And here we see Slavedig performing the only thing in life it will ever be good for. Get used to cutting down trees, Slavedig. ITS YOUR LIFE NOW. https://imageshack.com/i/pd5SGQrej This is Vermillion City Gym. Not much to say about it, really. It only has three gym trainers. Man, the early Kanto gyms were EASY. https://imageshack.com/i/idRdZDVuj This gym's puzzle would be tricky if I was playing it on the GBA, but its a complete breeze with save states. https://imageshack.com/i/f01VMjaDj Told you so. https://imageshack.com/i/p9lQDc5Gj Good sir, I never claimed I would last long in combat. Is that not what the military is for, to protect those who would not last long in combat? Because you were giving the impression that the purpose of the military is to ridicule those weaker than you. https://imageshack.com/i/ex4RtDDvj Lt, if all of Kanto's commanders in the war were like you, then we would all be speaking Kalosian. (AN: Did I just allude to my own personal fanon? Oh yes I did!) https://imageshack.com/i/p9cHkiDTj Guderian, Vorbeck... go sit over there. This battle belongs to The State. https://imageshack.com/i/ippADwJOj Firstly, we have Voltorb, which, while fast, can do about as much as Panama in the Second World War to The State. https://imageshack.com/i/idT1ak5Tj It is easily dispatched with a Dig attack. https://imageshack.com/i/p5WUqoaPj His Pikachu has the rather obnoxious tactic of using Double Team constantly. This problem is compounded by the fact that Dig takes a turn to set up, meaning Pikachu is at +2 evasion by the time Dig connects. Fortunately, I get incredibly lucky, hitting Pikachu despite its buffs. https://imageshack.com/i/p5VMMpsuj UNfortunately, it also gets Static has. Damn! https://imageshack.com/i/idZD6fu9j Fortunately, I hit Raichu despite paralysis. Man, I feel like Homer Simpson in that one episode with the Frozen Yogurt. "You get frozen yogurt at a discount." "Thats good." "But the frozen yogurt is CURSED!" "Thats bad" "But it comes with free toppings" "Thats good" But the toppings have SULFUR in them!" "Thats bad." Ah, The Simpsons. Good times. https://imageshack.com/i/eyVrT99Dj 3 down, 5 to go. https://imageshack.com/i/p5yKT6Vvj Heading east here, we reach this route. https://imageshack.com/i/ex80DfNcj Hah, this kid will probably have some level 5 or something. https://imageshack.com/i/idBSCRZ4j Oh, come on! You got your first Pokemon at level 19?! Why can't I be so lucky? https://imageshack.com/i/eyJyBxk2j You know, this raises two extremely important philosophical questions. One, where exactly are these cables? Two, what exactly are these cables FOR?! Truly, these quandaries will haunt great philosophers for many years to come. https://imageshack.com/i/f0mKw5aej Coming out of that route, we see a pleasant boardwalk by the sea. This will totally be the next site of our adventure! I hope there won't be some fat, sleeping Pokemon blocking the way! https://imageshack.com/i/p3ZfVaphj Motherfucker. https://imageshack.com/i/p795HaINj While I'm here, I might as well use Digglett's gave to get back to the other side of the region. There's something there I need to do. https://imageshack.com/i/p795HaINj https://imageshack.com/i/idVpJ1rvj These two move tutors teach Mega Kick and Mega Punch. I teach them to The State and Vorbeck, respectively. Next time: WELCOME TO HELL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) Hello and welcome back to Pokemon Firered, which takes place in the Kanto Region, home to many terrifying factions. There are Straw Feminists, Short Cultists, Neo Nazis, and lets not forget... https://imageshack.com/i/p1sgGWJoj Dominatrixes. Lady, I belong to no one but myself, and I have the Pokemon to prove it! https://imageshack.com/i/paNlYEULj Further down, I meet this Canadian hiker. You know, this reminds me of a little diddy I once heard... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G84iG3Ny3o WHEN CANADA RULES THE WORLD! (CANADA! CANADA!) WHEN CANADA RULES THE WORLD! (CANADAAA...) https://imageshack.com/i/exZW13Cwj With that out of the way, Vorbeck evolves into Primeape. Things are really looking up for the Team! https://imageshack.com/i/ex1cLYOpj I'm sad to say I agree with you, random hiker. Between Straw Feminists, Short Cultists, Neo Nazis, and Dominatrixes, Kanto is a pretty dangerous place! https://imageshack.com/i/ip8iC1JIj Moving on, this route up here contains a Pokemon Center, some grass, and a cave. https://imageshack.com/i/ippaXBOfj Here is the cave that leads to Lavender Town. I've been mobbed by Zubats, what else can this cave throw at me? https://imageshack.com/i/ip74YbC8j Oh shit why is it so dark! Also, I'd like to point out that this is the SECOND dangerous cave that has been the sole route from one city to another. Fail, Kanto. Fail. https://imageshack.com/i/pbbhktIuj Oh god dammit. Now I can add Otherkin to my rather long list of groups that won't leave me alone. https://imageshack.com/i/f0XX55snj Then what, pray tell, are you doing in a cave? By all means, go home and draw Pokemon. Its just that hanging out in a dimly lit cave seems to be a poor plan for accomplishing that. https://imageshack.com/i/exUkirYRj "I don't always come to Rock Tunnel, but when I do, I get my ass beat by some guy with an irrational love for Pickelhaubes. Go figure." https://imageshack.com/i/f0M7sreuj Pffft, NO. Pokemon cosplay is for nerds. Imperial German cosplay is MUCH more sophisticated. Fur Gott, Kaiser, und Vaterland! https://imageshack.com/i/f0SOJfu4j Okay. Guderian, ready the Panzers! click click BANG!!!!!! https://imageshack.com/i/eyYQAwMOj I'd like to meet the person who thought this was a perfect place to put a major transit area. Meet them, and shove every miserable Geodude I encountered in this miserable tunnel down their miserable throats. https://imageshack.com/i/eypf1GxOj Yes, clearly it is outsiders like us who need to show you, some guy whose idea of a good time is chilling in a pitch black cave, more respect. https://imageshack.com/i/f0wtcUcQj Rock Slide is in here, too. I taught it to Vorbeck. https://imageshack.com/i/f0qjsbfWj Sure, take mine. The Pokedex always was just a way so that Gamefreak could justify the different versions, anyway. https://imageshack.com/i/f09A1xxNj Oh god! The Straw Feminists have returned! May Arceus save us all. Uh, look! A Youtube comments section! Get involved in a flamewar! https://imageshack.com/i/ipEIGKGGj YES! Finally free of the worst dungeon in the game! WOOT WOOT! https://imageshack.com/i/pc7jg9fHj ...hey, Guderian, you still got your Panzers out? Good. https://imageshack.com/i/p8bL2i8Vj Welcome to Lavender Town, a town most famous for having a bullshit creepypasta that if you bring up here I will be displeased associated with it. It also happens to be the place where we wrap up. Next time on Pokemon Firered, we head to Celadon! Edited March 24, 2015 by blah2127 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 The LP is going on hiatus for a week because vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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