Looking for love in all the wrong places... and manners...

[Life]

Snowy, did you follow up?

If you're looking for a no skills required job, it's not enough to just submit an application. You need to keep going back and bother them. What's the worst that can happen, they say no?

Man, it sounds like you just wish your life could be different but you can't be assed to actually put in the effort. Nobody is going to just hand you opportunities on a silver platter. Plus, it sounds like you tried like ome or two places and not 30+.

[deleted35362]

Seriously, just look at this post. You seem to be kinda whiny and obnoxious tbh (not just from this post, but others too). If you want to go after a girl you have to really improve your attitude.

However there are a few problems. The biggest problem is that women scare the crap out of me. I'm always scared that, when I talk to one, I'll end up saying something that's going to end up with me running from the cops, my face plastered over facebook as a pervert, and the like. Seeing feminism in its current state hasn't helped as tubler and reddit are full of people more than willing to condemn someone to being a monster for being a straight, white, christian, male of middle-class quality, of which I am all three ATM. As a result whenever I see a woman, even sitting right beside me, I'm terrified that even saying 'hello' will end up with me being shouted down as a horrific monster and trying to build a relationship with one will result in her abandoning me on a whim for some lesbian chick that the interwebs says she should be dating while calling me a rapist for implying I might have some sexual interest in her; no offense intended towards lesbians intended.

might i remind people of OP's MAIN problem? the one he's actually asking for help on?

[Esau of Isaac]

Snowy, did you follow up?

If you're looking for a no skills required job, it's not enough to just submit an application. You need to keep going back and bother them. What's the worst that can happen, they say no?

In no-skill jobs they hate that shit. People don't hire you out of persistence for those positions. The days of getting a job by shaking the manager's hand real hard and showing you have gumption are gone. Companies have no loyalty to employees, and thus vice versa.

I can't fault him for feeling hopeless in that regard, the job market today is utterly remorseless. It takes a lot to muscle on without venting somewhere about the gravity of it all.

[Life]

In no-skill jobs they hate that shit. People don't hire you out of persistence for those positions. The days of getting a job by shaking the manager's hand real hard and showing you have gumption are gone. Companies have no loyalty to employees, and thus vice versa.

I can't fault him for feeling hopeless in that regard, the job market today is utterly remorseless. It takes a lot to muscle on without venting somewhere about the gravity of it all.

I'd say that it's how I got my job but I'm a line cook so that requires skills.

[MercyWalk]

might i remind people of OP's MAIN problem? the one he's actually asking for help on?

Realistically a bunch of forum members aren't going to change his perception and interaction behaviour with women, everyone knows they're just humans but OP seems to have spent too much time overthinking it probably as a result of the internet (eg. the whole SJW thing that's actually a minority). If anything OP clearly has anxiety issues which he can see a doctor for if he really can't figure it out on his own. In my opinion if you can't even talk to girls IRL resorting to talking on the internet where you have leeway to think over everything you say when responding is the wrong thing to do. The best we can do is to give tips on self confidence which involves fixing himself up financially and in other areas.

Snowy you've basically accepted you're fat and ugly, have you made any effort to improve yourself?

Edited April 3, 2015 by Alb

[Esau of Isaac]

I'd say that it's how I got my job but I'm a line cook so that requires skills.

yeah, exactly. You have to understand that in an environment of unskilled labor where thousands upon thousands of applicants exist, no employer's going to give a damn to sift through potential employees. It's a waste of time. That's why if you walk into a walmart acting like you're a Great War vet applying for a steel mill people are going to act like you're retarded. It's all about applying everywhere and hoping their computer lands on you these days.

[Snowy_One]

Snowy you've basically accepted you're fat and ugly, have you made any effort to improve yourself?

Come Monday I'm heading down to the temp agency. I don't expect to find any work, but at least it's trying again. As for physical appearances I've cut down on some things but that's all I can really do. I can't go on a strict diet due to medical issues so all I can really do is try to cut down on portion size a bit.

[Nanami Touko]

Exercise?

[Snowy_One]

Exercise?

No equipment around here and I've been busy the past few days. Next week isn't looking too free either because some ass down in city hall planned 20 meetings all cramped into one week.

[Nanami Touko]

No equipment around here and I've been busy the past few days. Next week isn't looking too free either because some ass down in city hall planned 20 meetings all cramped into one week.

Well you don't need equipment

Find a spot on the floor, do some pushups, on your knees if you can't manage normal ones

then some sit ups

go take a walk around your neighbourhood for an hour or so

do this for a while?

exercise doesn't have to involve treadmills and weight machines.

[Esau of Isaac]

No equipment around here and I've been busy the past few days. Next week isn't looking too free either because some ass down in city hall planned 20 meetings all cramped into one week.

You have an hour or two of free time in any day, use it. Hike at a nearby mountain. Run around a lake. Hell, just run on the sidewalk near your house. Don't have equipment? Buy some dumbbells with weights. You can target several muscle groups with them, Google's your friend. Use this calculator to find a target caloric intake and stick to it. A magic fairy isn't going to come along and make you look like those guys you're jealous of. Looking good is as easy as trying to look good. No one is going to pity you and be in a relationship with you because you gave up.

[Belf]

This has been a long time waiting.

The issue isn't that you don't know how to talk to women. The issue is a lack in social skills in general. This stems from no self-confidence, fear of the unknown... all that good stuff.

There's really only one way to fix this problem. You need to get off of the internet, go to a bar and start speaking to people. Even if you don't drink alcohol, still go to a bar rather than... anywhere else.

Bars are filled to people who are drinking simply to kill something inside, either major or minor. The general joke about alcohol is that it is the elixir of courage but in reality, it lowers a person's ability to keep his or her mouth shut. Most people sitting on a bar will talk your ear off about the most random shit that exists. Trust me, I work in nightlife and I know this for a fact.

What does this have to do with you? Simple. This is how you work on building social relationships. You simply need to keep a conversation going that has absolutely nothing to do with something that interests you. Again, alcohol will help but don't go overboard and get drunk. The important thing here is to understand that you can have conversations with people without giving a shit about how you look or if they care about the same things you do.

Take me, for example. I shit you not when I say this but my hair colour is currently sitting between blonde and green. Fact. Yet, I don't care if I look like a retarded leprechaun. I can still converse with people about things that I have absolutely no knowledge about whatsoever simply because I know how to keep a social relationship going. Dating is simply the next step after this one.

or you can just wear a hat, lol.

[Life]

or you can just wear a hat, lol.

I like my hair. I'm trying to dye it blue but when you're doing it by yourself for the first time at home, shit happens.

Come Monday I'm heading down to the temp agency. I don't expect to find any work, but at least it's trying again.

Don't bother going. You're already starting with a defeatist attitude so no shit if you don't find anything. Like I said earlier, it doesn't sound like you're making a real effort and this proves my point.

If you're serious about finding a job, there's a lot of things out there. Even if you think it's beneath you. Go to a restaurant and ask to be a dishwasher, for example.

Edited April 4, 2015 by Man Bun

[chococoke]

MB has a great point. So much is made of the so-called "self-fulfilling prophecy," and for good reason; if you show up and act like you don't expect to the get a job, your body language and other factors will reflect that, and guess what? You don't get a job.

It may be tough to have confidence in yourself when you don't succeed as often as you like, but the key to so many different things is just having confidence in yourself and seeing yourself succeeding.

This is about 50x more true when it comes to women. I'd say 4 out of 5 females would agree that a male's confidence is the biggest turn-on for them. At least, that's what the majority of the girls I've been involved with have said to me.

[Snowy_One]

Went on a half-hour long walk today, but there is going to be a lot of rain next-week as well as those meetings, so even if I don't get the job most of my free time will be spent trying to recover from the sheer tedium.

[eclipse]

Rain sucks.

But it doesn't mean that you can't exercise. Do a quick search on "indoor exercise no equipment", and find something that's doable.

[Nanami Touko]

Or get an umbrella and walk in the rain.

Exercise is just something you need to keep doing, or you won't get anything.

[Chiki]

Went on a half-hour long walk today, but there is going to be a lot of rain next-week as well as those meetings, so even if I don't get the job most of my free time will be spent trying to recover from the sheer tedium.

You need to jog, not run. Don't be lazy.

[Rapier]

Your issue seems more to be with exiting the comfort zone rather than not knowing what to do, judging from how you find more excuses for what you want to do but can't for x reason. Just my two cents.

[Refa]

You need to jog, not run. Don't be lazy.

You mean "jog, not walk", I'm guessing? Otherwise what you're saying makes no sense.

[Chiki]

You mean "jog, not walk", I'm guessing? Otherwise what you're saying makes no sense.

Yep, my bad.

[Snowy_One]

Maybe I could moonwalk?

[chococoke]

On a serious note, if you expect to see any differences in your appearance by exercising with half-hour walks, you're going to be disappointed

[Shin]

On a serious note, if you expect to see any differences in your appearance by exercising with half-hour walks, you're going to be disappointed

This, unless you count getting wet from walking in the rain. To be effective, you need at least 30 minutes of strenuous exercise a day, or at least a couple of sessions a week. If you can manage more, great, but that's the bare minimum.

[Rapier]

You need to jog, not walk. Don't be lazy.

It is not true that walking is not effective, as much as it is hardly as good as jogging. My argument to back it up would be an anectodal fallacy, so I'll leave it at that, and recommend Snowy to just try it and check the results.

It might be best for him to walk instead of jog on the beginning, until he gets used to the rythm. It's no use making a sedentary person run and have them sweating and breathing heavily like an asthmatic Darth Vader.