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Captain Wesker
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There were 3 guys who wanted to see how high they could each throw a brick. The ground was muddy, so they'd figure out who won by how far the brick sunk when it came down. The first guy throws the brick and it sinks a little bit. The second guy throws the brick and it sinks more. The third guy throws the brick and it never comes down. There was this lady boarding a flight to go see her mom, she had her pet parrot with her. A sign said "no smoking and no pets", so she hid her parrot in her coat. Later the copilot is coming down the aisles and he's got a cigar in his mouth. He finds the lady's parrot and says "You're not supposed to have pets on this plane!" and he throws the parrot out the window. The lady goes "Well you're not supposed to smoke on this plane!" and takes the cigar and throws it out. The copilot goes back to the cockpit. He hears a tap at the window, it's the parrot! It's holding something. No not the cigar. The brick.

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