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FE 7 Forgotten Realms Hack


icelord22
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Greetings.
I have always thought that the forgotten realms campaigns had perfect fire emblem storylines. The problem is, you really need a "dungeon master like" entity, because a third person omniscient voice is imperative [unless you want to compromise the structural integrity of the story].

I haven't spent a considerable amount of time on this yet, and there is a lot of room to nitpick, however, I am really looking for comments and suggestions concerning my idea to have an omniscient narrator between chapters.


There are two custom animations included [Drizzt and Wulfgar].

I do realize that the Mugs and Animation need a bit of work, but as I said, I'm more interested in your thoughts on the idea. After I get some feedback [if], I'll be willing to invest a fair amount of time
into this project.


Here is a link to the video, it is only five minutes, and I would really appreciate your time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7sm9c-nqE0

I have also included an mp4 of the animation.

If I am doing anything unorthodox, forgive me, this is my first post, and I am more than open to any suggestions.

Thanks!

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Ten seconds, Ephidel tells me he's Guenhwyvar.

So yeah, dude, like, don't do that. Simple names, or at least ones that are easy to get your tongue around. For example, one of my early games had a city called Aruceidyia, just for being fancy, ended up having Arcadia instead because the former was just fucking stupid.

Also, I've got a free-to-use collection, chuck in a mug that isn't Ephidel.

"Through the prime material realm" could be all put on one line, could also be reworded to take up more space along the bubble and end up with less lines overall.

Continuing, it seems you do this more than once, where you have sentences on multiple lines despite it being completely feasible to have it all take up less lines.

A five minute video is a bit much when the first minute is nothing but a generic, uninspired and uneventful speech, it's a minute in before we get any fresh insight into something more than just "You're a tactician, blah blah good/evil".

"Barbarians and the citizens of Ten Towns", ten towns? Is it capital because there's a city called Ten Towns? Or is it a banded group of towns that have declared allegiance? Or is it just ten towns? Either way, bad writing, bad writing.

"Five years have passed... Now, five years later". Bad writing, bad writing.

"Aegis fang", shouldn't the F be capital? Not too sure on that myself, because I don't know the exact naming scheme of Fire Emblem weapons, but i'd assume so.

Two minutes in and it's still the boring monologue. Show us something, even better, show the damn characters he's talking 'bout. Not even a minute in and I'm losing marks on which character is which in this story that I'm thrown into the middle of.

You finally get to a map and you have three characters on screen but only show one talking, this isn't engaging. I'm literally watching another video and paying half attention to yours because it's not gripping in any fashion whatsoever.

The frames on your mugs is off and it causes alignment issues when the frames load, making blinking effects and it's distracting me from the already disengaging cutscene.

Also, if you're going to preview anything in VBA, don't have whatever settings you've got turned on, on. It makes everything look blurry and even though it might look alright in some parts, overall it's more of a subtraction against the whole package.

Learn to cut down on how much is said, if you can say a two line sentence with just one, do that. No one gains anything from artificially increasing the amount of words spoken, it adds nothing but time to your scene, quality, not quantity.

Also, who are these three characters we're seeing? We know a couple names from before and now a couple faces but there's no linking anything, or even if these are the same characters from before.

What are they doing, why are they here, what's going on? Other than one character, who we don't even know which of the three he is, is just unhappy with another of the three, of which we don't know who he is either.

I stopped watching after the dwarf left and the map glitched out, not sure if it gets better, but so far I'm seeing a very newb display.

Maybe work on your hack a bit more before displaying it, maybe getting feedback on specific parts before putting it all out to show when it's clearly not ready to be shown.

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Ten seconds, Ephidel tells me he's Guenhwyvar.

So yeah, dude, like, don't do that. Simple names, or at least ones that are easy to get your tongue around. For example, one of my early games had a city called Aruceidyia, just for being fancy, ended up having Arcadia instead because the former was just fucking stupid.

Also, I've got a free-to-use collection, chuck in a mug that isn't Ephidel.

"Through the prime material realm" could be all put on one line, could also be reworded to take up more space along the bubble and end up with less lines overall.

Continuing, it seems you do this more than once, where you have sentences on multiple lines despite it being completely feasible to have it all take up less lines.

A five minute video is a bit much when the first minute is nothing but a generic, uninspired and uneventful speech, it's a minute in before we get any fresh insight into something more than just "You're a tactician, blah blah good/evil".

"Barbarians and the citizens of Ten Towns", ten towns? Is it capital because there's a city called Ten Towns? Or is it a banded group of towns that have declared allegiance? Or is it just ten towns? Either way, bad writing, bad writing.

"Five years have passed... Now, five years later". Bad writing, bad writing.

"Aegis fang", shouldn't the F be capital? Not too sure on that myself, because I don't know the exact naming scheme of Fire Emblem weapons, but i'd assume so.

Two minutes in and it's still the boring monologue. Show us something, even better, show the damn characters he's talking 'bout. Not even a minute in and I'm losing marks on which character is which in this story that I'm thrown into the middle of.

You finally get to a map and you have three characters on screen but only show one talking, this isn't engaging. I'm literally watching another video and paying half attention to yours because it's not gripping in any fashion whatsoever.

The frames on your mugs is off and it causes alignment issues when the frames load, making blinking effects and it's distracting me from the already disengaging cutscene.

Also, if you're going to preview anything in VBA, don't have whatever settings you've got turned on, on. It makes everything look blurry and even though it might look alright in some parts, overall it's more of a subtraction against the whole package.

Learn to cut down on how much is said, if you can say a two line sentence with just one, do that. No one gains anything from artificially increasing the amount of words spoken, it adds nothing but time to your scene, quality, not quantity.

Also, who are these three characters we're seeing? We know a couple names from before and now a couple faces but there's no linking anything, or even if these are the same characters from before.

What are they doing, why are they here, what's going on? Other than one character, who we don't even know which of the three he is, is just unhappy with another of the three, of which we don't know who he is either.

I stopped watching after the dwarf left and the map glitched out, not sure if it gets better, but so far I'm seeing a very newb display.

Maybe work on your hack a bit more before displaying it, maybe getting feedback on specific parts before putting it all out to show when it's clearly not ready to be shown.

I appreciate the quick and honest response!

Lol, yes, I am aware that the game that I made was garbage, it was more of an idea pitch. I didn't make up ten-towns or Guenhwyvar, they are names from the forgotten realms series.

But I completely see where you are coming from with the dialogue. If one isn't familiar with the series, I can see where they would have no idea what is going on. Also, yes, the writing is horrendous (as I said, I more or less threw it together in order to pitch the idea).

Let's say that I replace Ephidel with something less lazy:

What do you think of an actual narrator, or perhaps just a mysterious character that interacts with the tactician between chapters (if you have played Persona 3, someone like Igor/Elizabeth).

Once again, thank you for the quick response, and I greatly appreciate the honesty.

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I appreciate the quick and honest response!

Lol, yes, I am aware that the game that I made was garbage, it was more of an idea pitch. I didn't make up ten-towns or Guenhwyvar, they are names from the forgotten realms series.

But I completely see where you are coming from with the dialogue. If one isn't familiar with the series, I can see where they would have no idea what is going on. Also, yes, the writing is horrendous (as I said, I more or less threw it together in order to pitch the idea).

Let's say that I replace Ephidel with something less lazy:

What do you think of an actual narrator, or perhaps just a mysterious character that interacts with the tactician between chapters (if you have played Persona 3, someone like Igor/Elizabeth).

Once again, thank you for the quick response, and I greatly appreciate the honesty.

A mysterious narrator isn't a bad idea, but maybe have a little bit more of a punch-y sort of dialogue, quick and concise rather than trying to be artsy. There are other hacks who've played part to the narrator idea, but from what I've seen most tend to have them speaking to a third party, rather than to the player or what is assumed to be an avatar of the player. Maybe that's something to consider.

Also, maybe have a little more of a quick intro and then start with some gameplay and story and then have the narrator come more into play after we've seen a little more of the game, maybe a chapter or two where he returns and becomes more prominent after we've sunken into everything.

As for the mugs: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qe2fsidnadbg2sv/NicktCollection.7z?dl=0

Edited by NICKT™
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As for the mugs: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qe2fsidnadbg2sv/NicktCollection.7z?dl=0

Thanks, I'll redo my sprites, and use your mugs (it kind of feels like cheating haha).

Do you have any recommendations concerning how I should edit your mugs (I'd really hate to butcher your work, but I need a dark elf).

ghast edit*

you were including your response in Nickt's quote

Edited by Ghatsu!
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