screenshot TheMoniker struggles through GhebFE

[Tamanoir]

I'll be honest...I want to see this hack played through fully to the end. Why? Well, two reasons. First of all, I am morbidly curious of what the original creators thought people back when this hack was created thought was funny or clever. Secondly, think about it like this: You suffer so no one else has to. There's no (as far as I am aware) fully recorded GhebFE playthrough, so by powering through this anus of a hack, you spare others the torture of playing through it.

He's suffering for our sins in order to bring salvation to this word.

Moniker = Jesus confirmed

[TheMoniker]

Plus, no matter how terrible hard mode is (your own fault), the hack does a bunch of neat things. Especially for a hack as old as this one.

Hey! I was made to play Hard Mode by others!

...Come to think of it, maybe I should start putting my own foot down on stuff I do in this LP more.

You're right about the technology thing though. What GhebFE did by today's standards is archaic(looking at Midnight Sun in particular), but at the time it was cutting-edge technology, particularly for FE8 which hadn't really been explored yet.

Since I haven't played this chapter (yet) I have no Idea about what is yet to come, I do however look forward to it. If you think it's so bad chances are high that I will find it hilarious.

Also that list was copied straight from the readme, I doon't know which one you're using but the one from the most recent Version is actually helpfull.

Really? Huh, maybe I should look at the readme again.

He's suffering for our sins in order to bring salvation to this word.

Moniker = Jesus confirmed

Bow down and worship me

Short one today, thankfully.

The CHAPTER 12 PRELUDE!

A tutorial... containing a piece of useful advice!? GASP!

It won't the "scary" kind of horror, more like "disgusting".

Oh, and we get no map screen! So there's that! Note the druid with us...

That's right! It's EPHIDEL! Kiwi's informant from last time!

Now, remember when I said this hack crossed another line? This is Saleh's replacement. The line crossed is Ewan's replacement. We'll be seeing it soon.

Denning: This is a message.

Ephidel: Hmmm… You mean the Circus of the Dead?

Gheb: Yes, that crap. We must take it down! Or something.

L’arachel: Now that I recall *text skip*

So, L'arachel's circus is powering our enemies... Is that why the enemies have been so ridiculous? They've LITERALLY been on crack?

If they were, I wouldn't be surprised in the least.

Gheb: but I must say, that’s useful information!

Moniker's desire to use brain bleach has gone up by 4!

Ephidel: Oh, huh?

I like Ephidel so far.

Ephidel: What’s in it for me?

Gheb: You are a sly man, person. We shall negotiate once the dope is gone.

Ephidel: Very well. All I can say is that we’re surrounded.

???

Oh. Should have guessed.

Gheb: As far as the eye can see! Augh!

Gheb: I agree with you, person.

Well, Kiwi, I am not amused by YOUR behavior! Or Gheb's!

Ephidel: Relax, metal boss. I just care for myself.

Kiwi: If you betray Kiwi, Kiwi will eat yer face.

END DIALOGUE

Phew, glad that's over. Now, let's look at what we've got...

Quite a few of the units I've brought along are maxed level or about to be maxed level. We seriously, SERIOUSLY need promotion items! Unfortunately, I don't remember there being any here in the original game...

Note that our newcomer is forced. Let's look at him!

So, as usual I am somewhat reluctant to pass judgement before seeing growths, but Ewan's very existence and the fact that I made him a Druid means this guy is NOT needed, in any capacity. I appreciate that nice gear he brought along, though!

(Why couldn't he have come carrying a guiding ring...)

Position! Normally, I put my high-mov units at the back, and my low-move units at the front, but it turned out to not be suck a good idea this time around.

And here it is everyone...

The line.

The line where the hack has...

A (*shudder*) "loli".

That's right everyone. GhebFE has finally crossed the line of suffering and despair. This girl will indeed be on our team, and Gheb's dialogue will indeed make you cringe so hard your eyes will fall out.

I'll talk about her a bit more when we actually get her.

Girl?: Where’s Mister E! Help!!

Girl?: I hope Mr. E finds me…

Yes, Mr. E is Ephidel.

So, this map was actually one of my least favorites in normal FE8. It was long and boring and didn't have anything special about it at all. Here, it's essentially just a massive grindfest for you to cap out anyone (unpromoted) not capped already.

ALL the generics are unpromoted, but with super-high levels to make up for it. Thing is, we've actually caught up by now! These stats aren't that big of a deal anymore! By abusing us with massive amounts of high-level enemies, we're not strong enough to fight back adequately against said high-level enemies!

I am going to steal this for my monster weapon collection, but notice that it's now a C-rank Dark spell, so it can't be used to make Dark Bishops anymore. Of all the things to fix...

The one and only promoted enemy is the boss, who isn't any sort of threat.

NEXT TIME: Levels! And some fairly easy fighting!

GROWTHS:

Ephidel:

HP: 70%

Magic: 40%

Skill: 40%

Speed: 50%

Luck: 35%

Defense: 20%

Resistance: 45%

Total: 300%

Good in a vacuum. But, as I said before, not good in a world where Ewan exists.

I just... wish I had a guiding ring for Ewan...

[SilverHairedFreak25]

I am going to steal this for my monster weapon collection, but notice that it's now a C-rank Dark spell, so it can't be used to make Dark Bishops anymore. Of all the things to fix...

Clever dick...

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

that stone change, also wow you get an actual loli on gheb's route, you didn't get one in glass's

[Darrman]

Moniker Sanity Index: Grumbling at guiding-ring shortage. You won't like FE6! Also, a high percent of NSFW-dwellers would probably be into this. someone call 4chan (I've thankfully never been there.)

[Squidmark Iggy]

Lolis? In MY Fire Emblem?

...Okay, if it's a dragon loli, then... it's like a normal Fire Emblem. If it's not a dragon loli, then it's weird.

FE Logic at its finest, yo!

[Excellen Browning]

Amelia and Nino would like words with you.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Zzzzt...zzzzt...zzz-agh! Ugh, sleep, calculus...ugh...yeah, that was about 90% of my time these past few days. Time to acknowledge my praise.

"Walking metaphors for this hack's quality"

I laughed.

*bow*

Well, in most normal FEs they were just elite mooks, but this hack and a few others pushes them to the level of straight-up minibosses... or bosses, when you consider that the ACTUAL bosses are WEAKER.

That seems to be a recurring theme in bad hacks, doesn't it? Bosses with worse stats than the generic enemies you're supposed to fight through to reach the boss.

I realized a few days ago right after my last post just realized that this hack, from like...the two thousand single digits, features a unit with a staff who promotes into a unit with an axe and a staff. Sort of like...War Monks. From Fire Emblem Awakening...

FE13 100% GhebFE inspired confirmed.

Level cap! Looks like Batta actually was able to use one of his increased caps. Still, we REALLY NEED promotion items.

This also seems to be a recurring problem in bad hacks.

Blech. I wonder what he'll look at ?/20/20.

Probably bad. But he'll have a lot of res, I'm sure.

These were both nothing or original FE7 supports. The more supports I do, the more I realize how lazy the author was about them. I know they're hard, but at least Corrupt Theocracy TRIED!

FE8 supports, Moniker, FE8 supports.

And at least Corrupt Theocracy wasn't...like...any of this. I mean, alright, it wasn't exactly the purest hack, but...it was...T for teen? Iunno, I don't work for the ESRB, but...alright, let's just say that Corrupt Theocracy has a multitude of apparent advantages over GhebFE.

And that says enough, really.

Are they walking metaphors of this hack's quality(thanks Anonymous Speed) or real zombies? I don't get it!

L'arachel might be a drug-dealing prostitute, but she's still more sane than the main characters.

At least the prostitute wasn't the sanest character in Corrupt Theocracy!

Fargus: he’s a strong one,

Wait, WHAT?

You forced him to jump ship, but he's strong, so he SOMEHOW swam ALL THE WAY to the other side of the continent to be on Glass's route!?

WHAT?!?

Apparently the creator really liked ruining Chuck Norris jokes, because I arbitrarily assume Dart made it to the other side of the continent by swimming through the land itself.

So. Let me say something here. Seth wasn't even one of the 6 commanders. He was an extra who appeared last villain-checkup cutscene as a replacement for Gerik, who was obviously gone. And he had no character beyond that.

He literally existed. Just to die.

We were fools to expect less from GhebFE.

Never has there been a better time to say 'Less is More'.

So guys... in the next chapter... the hack crosses yet another line. It hasn't done enough. It goes further than it already has.

Don't be looking forward to it.

Hah! Another line? Come on Moniker, we've seen some shit in this hack, and some literal shit in this hack. What could they possibly have left to-

A (*shudder*) "loli".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ

'Protitue'

Spelling!

I like Ephidel so far.

I'd like to point out one of our least hate-able protagonists is Ephidel.

You know, Ephidel? The sociopathic serial murderer from FE7 who had a woman brutally killed and her corpse set out for her allies to find?

Yeah.

That guy.

I am going to steal this for my monster weapon collection, but notice that it's now a C-rank Dark spell, so it can't be used to make Dark Bishops anymore. Of all the things to fix...

This hack couldn't even be bad in a way that lets you break it and it becomes fun.

At least you could break the game in Corrupt Theocracy!

...oh God, I just realized Fa might show up in this hack. This...this uh...*sigh*

[kantoorfarina]

After reading a few of Elise's supports in Fates, I'm ready for whatever Gheb is about to say to the loli.

I kind of want you to play on Normal or maybe even Easy for Glass's route. I want to see the dialogue. but I don't want you to have to go through the GhebFE Hard mode equivalent of Phantom Ship.

[AnonymousSpeed]

After reading a few of Elise's supports in Fates, I'm ready for whatever Gheb is about to say to the loli.

I kind of want you to play on Normal or maybe even Easy for Glass's route. I want to see the dialogue. but I don't want you to have to go through the GhebFE Hard mode equivalent of Phantom Ship.

...

No curiosity. Down. Now.

...eh, you know what? I kinda want to see that. It might end up the only okay chapter in the whole game.

[MrNight48]

No 3 tiers still?

That is literally the only reason I keep voting to have you play this. This hack needs to give up the promotes

[TheMoniker]

Amelia and Nino would like words with you.

They didn't exist JUST for the purpose of being lolis! I mean... well, wait until you see her description.

That seems to be a recurring theme in bad hacks, doesn't it? Bosses with worse stats than the generic enemies you're supposed to fight through to reach the boss.

Using Corrupt Theocracy as an example, yeah.

I realized a few days ago right after my last post just realized that this hack, from like...the two thousand single digits, features a unit with a staff who promotes into a unit with an axe and a staff. Sort of like...War Monks. From Fire Emblem Awakening...

FE13 100% GhebFE inspired confirmed.

Oh noooooooo

This also seems to be a recurring problem in bad hacks.

If this hack is anything like Corrupt Theocracy, it's just going to randomly dump 10000 promotion items on us in 1 chapter.

And at least Corrupt Theocracy wasn't...like...any of this. I mean, alright, it wasn't exactly the purest hack, but...it was...T for teen? Iunno, I don't work for the ESRB, but...alright, let's just say that Corrupt Theocracy has a multitude of apparent advantages over GhebFE.

No longer can I say that Corrupt Theocracy is the worst hack I have ever played.

At least the prostitute wasn't the sanest character in Corrupt Theocracy!

I'd like to point out one of our least hate-able protagonists is Ephidel.

You know, Ephidel? The sociopathic serial murderer from FE7 who had a woman brutally killed and her corpse set out for her allies to find?

Yeah.

That guy.

Well, he might not be his normal FE7 self. I don't think ANY of the characters have the personalities from their original games, with the exception of those who weren't in any FE game, like Kiwi.

Responses in bold!

After reading a few of Elise's supports in Fates, I'm ready for whatever Gheb is about to say to the loli.

I kind of want you to play on Normal or maybe even Easy for Glass's route. I want to see the dialogue. but I don't want you to have to go through the GhebFE Hard mode equivalent of Phantom Ship.

Hard Mode Phantom Ship... I don't look forward to it, but at this point, doing it on Normal mode would mean replaying Gheb mode. And that is NOT happening.

No 3 tiers still?

That is literally the only reason I keep voting to have you play this. This hack needs to give up the promotes

I want guiding rings!

Time to cringe extra hard in...

GhebFE: Episode 14: Chapter 12: Meetup with the Worst Character

I wish I could stop THIS HACK!

The first turn is mostly just us moving. One of the reasons I don't like this map is because it doesn't offer much freedom and you have to shove yourself through narrow pathways.

Nope! Zap!

Yeah, Gerik got a crit.

Out of the way, peon!

New thing for the collection, also for SOME REASON the game counts this as an axe.

Still shoving ourselves through...

WHEN WE'RE ATTACKED FROM THE SIDE

It can be aggravating, having to constantly reset because a portion of my units die in 1-2 hits.

Particularly since the enemies are incredibly fast, and while we're nowhere near the position we were in at the start of the game, a lot of people still get doubled.

Some people are OP, and some are not.

Okay, enough with the tangent. Mastur Bait is back in play! I brought it out of the convoy since it's good against wyv-

Wait...

Mastur... bait... Masturbait...

I

HATE

THIS

HACK

Okay, let's ignore that! These renevants are pathetic!

Even WTA doesn't give them an advantage.

Gerik caps out! Which gives me a good excuse to use...

My very last promotion item!

We already have Amelia as ranger, so...

Woo! Okay, he's got plenty of skill and speed, but he's kinda weak in the strength department. Hopefully, he'll work on that, but now at least we have another promoted person!

The good news: Half the map is clear!

The bad news: The top half is way more well-defended!

The worse news: The game decided we hadn't actually cleared the bottom half at all.

The meh news: Item!

The meh-er news: Denning's level

The hilarious news: I've never seen one of these guys crit before.

Okay, enough news. Let's talk tactics now.

Basically, Kiwi is going to hold off both the Doges and the Gargoyles. He has the defense, he can take it.

Case in point. This was the only guy who could really hurt him.

Ineffective surprise attack!

Because Kiwi apparently wasn't an appealing target, the other gargoyle group is heading up, presumably to hit us from the side. Since, you know, mountains, this is not good news.

But hey! Kiwi's profiting!

So graceful! So ultimately futile!

Kiwi basically finished with his group, but the gargoyles really ARE hitting us. Lyon's the weakest guy on the team, so it's not good that they're attacking him.

Thankfully, a bit of killing later and a lot of the top half is gone.

Apologies if the commentary seems like I'm skimming over everything. All in all, this chapter was pretty short, but it was also REALLY boring.

Okay, let's steal that Stone!

Really?

Luckily, I thought ahead.

Let's have "Mr. E" here break and enter... wait, wasn't this the house with t-

...Crap.

Girl?: Mr. E! Yay!

Ephidel: Yes, yes, I’m glad you’re okay. Now move, girl.

...Craaaaaap...

I... HATE... this HACK!

Okay, the ONE bit of good news is, her stats are TERRIBLE. If her growths aren't Ewan-style, then we don't have to use her, which is good!

Well Mr. Night, you got your wish. She's apparently a third tier.

APPARENTLY.

See that random skeleton? He doesn't move at all. He's basically there for Rori to pound.

Does the boss move?

(It doesn't)

This house has... another weird shop-that-shouldn't-be-there?

...Okay?

(And yes, you can but the "100 gold" bag. It's only purpose is to be resold for 50 gold. Yeah.0

I do pick up a Silver axe, though.

Naturally, the INSTANT I thought I was approaching some measure of completion...

That's... pretty bad, actually. I'm not training her any more until I see growths.

Yay! It's terrible!

Run! Flee! Get away from those gargoyles!

Holy crap! ?? HP renevant!

And yet, it doesn't move at all, all Amelia has to do is pound it from 2 range.

Cool.

Gargoyles taken care of! Let's just finish this already!

Now that I've "gotten" the joke, I'm more than happy to see it go.

(Gheb/Amelia B support... I really hope you all didn't realize the joke before me and were secretly laughing.)

Oh wow, this boss is literally no longer capable of killing us at 1 range. Such balanced thief mechanics.

Let's look at the REAL shop.

Pretty standard stuff...

Except for THIS thing at the bottom, which is presumably a generic attack staff for our healers! Cool, now L'arachel can kill things. I grab one, even though it's supremely expensive.

The boss still has a bow...

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW

I'm liking these defenses you're getting, Kiwi. Snowball into the tankiest tank ever!

A bit of healgrinding and...

We are SO DONE!

NEXT TIME: Gheb talks to the loli. It's terrible.

GROWTHS:

Rori:

HP: 50%

Magic: 79%

Skill: 40%

Speed: 35%

Luck: 50%

Defense: 39%

Resistance: 40%

Total: 333%

So, aside from some REALLY WEIRD numbers in magic and defense, seemingly just to make the total 333, she seems like an average unit... Or, she WOULD be, if not for the whole "comes at a point where ridiculous grinding is required to train her" thing. We are NOT using her, not just because she isn't gameplay viable, but ALSO because I do NOT want to encourage this hack's use of the whole "loli" thing!

[Ansem]

lol did you just realize masturbate after all this time

[AnonymousSpeed]

They didn't exist JUST for the purpose of being lolis! I mean... well, wait until you see her description.

It's...surprisingly tame, to be honest...and by tame, I mean vague, generic, other things of that nature.

Well, he might not be his normal FE7 self. I don't think ANY of the characters have the personalities from their original games, with the exception of those who weren't in any FE game, like Kiwi.

Well, yeah, I know that all of them have different personalities, vastly so. Even Gheb himself does. As I recall, the original Gheb was just sort of a jerk who was okay sending soldiers he didn't like on suicide missions and had a huge ego. It's been a while since I've read dialogue of actual, in-not-poorly-hacked FE8-Gheb, but I don't recall him being...uh...

Wait...

Mastur... bait... Masturbait...

I

HATE

THIS

HACK

It...it took you this long to notice? What? I am...legitimately surprised.

Now that I've "gotten" the joke, I'm more than happy to see it go.

(Gheb/Amelia B support... I really hope you all didn't realize the joke before me and were secretly laughing.)

Oh, don't worry Moniker, we haven't been laughing...

Well Mr. Night, you got your wish. She's apparently a third tier.

APPARENTLY.

GROWTHS:

Rori:

HP: 50%

Magic: 79%

Skill: 40%

Speed: 35%

Luck: 50%

Defense: 39%

Resistance: 40%

Total: 333%

Well, on the bright side, because she's a third tier (meaning fewer levels than everyone else) with growths which, defense aside, are pretty mediocre, terrible, or unnecessary, there is literally no reason to use her whatsoever. So we're okay there, at least.

They didn't exist JUST for the purpose of being lolis! I mean... well, wait until you see her description.

Well, Nowi sort of does, but most people in FE13 just sort of exist to appeal to fetishes, so...

I mean, don't get me wrong, with such thin material Awakening is actually pretty funny. But it's also not often that deep or intriguing, and tons of the supports are terrible. Even if you like the changes to Henry you have to admit the story and characterization aren't that great.

The meh-er news: Denning's level

Hey, that's a fairly decent level level! Strength, luck, skill, HP, none are stats he really needs but Denning is pretty good all around, this level keeps him round.

Holy crap! ?? HP renevant!

And yet, it doesn't move at all, all Amelia has to do is pound it from 2 range.

Even if it did move it would probably suck, to be honest.

[SilverHairedFreak25]

Well, yeah, I know that all of them have different personalities, vastly so. Even Gheb himself does. As I recall, the original Gheb was just sort of a jerk who was okay sending soldiers he didn't like on suicide missions and had a huge ego. It's been a while since I've read dialogue of actual, in-not-poorly-hacked FE8-Gheb, but I don't recall him being...uh...

Well, he did mention that he wanted to "interrogate" Tana, so... take that for what you will.

Also, why does everyone hate on Awakening? It's not the best FE game, sure, but it's FAR from the worst.

Edited October 6, 2015 by SilverHairedFreak25

[Midori Mage]

...This feels appropriate. Remember Moniker, at least Elincia knows your sorrow. You played FE9, right?

Also, I didn't notice the masturbate thing either. I just thought it was saying Master Bait.

[AnonymousSpeed]

Well, he did mention that he wanted to "interrogate" Tana, so... take that for what you will.

Also, why does everyone hate on Awakening? It's not the best FE game, sure, but it's FAR from the worst.

Eh, been a while, as I said.

I mean...because it's easy and common and people love a bandwagon. I actually like Fire Emblem Awakening, it's fairly fun, but every FE game has issues which can be harped on. Awakening is certainly enjoyable, but has a lot of problems which, if I can, I will harp on.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

Eh, been a while, as I said.

I mean...because it's easy and common and people love a bandwagon. I actually like Fire Emblem Awakening, it's fairly fun, but every FE game has issues which can be harped on. Awakening is certainly enjoyable, but has a lot of problems which, if I can, I will harp on.

more or less what he said, heck i have fun with the game as well but i can't defend the flat map design in the main game, for every one good designed map, there's 3 or 4 poor ones(not counting DLC) and that's only one thing I've chosen to point out.

back on topic, that loli sure is "special", definitely not worth using.

also wow you didn't notice the masturbate joke, you are pure as freshly fallen snow.

Edited October 7, 2015 by HF Makalov Fanboy Kai

[AnonymousSpeed]

also wow you didn't notice the masturbate joke, you are pure as freshly fallen snow.

He didn't know what a trap was either. Moniker really is the purest guy on the Internet.

[Excellen Browning]

I hated on Awakening before it was cool.

Anyway, rori-chan is a trainee and she'll end up like Ewan when trained. Not that it matters, because moniker is a member of #teampoorlifechoices and uses his promotion items on units that aren't worth it, so rori-chan will never hit promotion.

[Tamanoir]

Nino was 14, the same age as Juliet (from "Romeo and Juliet "), so that's totally OK.

That, or Romeo and Juliet isn't actually the description of a sane love relationship. What a twist it would be.

And you really didn't notice Mastur Bait before ? If it was Master Bait, I'd have understand, but Mastur is as obvious as can be.)

[Tamanoir]

He didn't know what a trap was either. Moniker really is the purest guy on the Internet.

If he think loli is the worst fetish on the Internet, then he sure is.

I've done so far in the darkness of the Internet that I consider it once of the tamest thing you can find, especially if not combined with anything.

I mean, there could be a futanari in the game (There isn't, right ? Right.. ?)

[Tequila]

If he think loli is the worst fetish on the Internet, then he sure is.

I've done so far in the darkness of the Internet that I consider it once of the tamest thing you can find, especially if not combined with anything.

I mean, there could be a futanari in the game (There isn't, right ? Right.. ?)

Nah, just lots of calamari.

[AnonymousSpeed]

I hated on Awakening before it was cool.

Anyway, rori-chan is a trainee and she'll end up like Ewan when trained. Not that it matters, because moniker is a member of #teampoorlifechoices and uses his promotion items on units that aren't worth it, so rori-chan will never hit promotion.

I think Moniker joined Team Poor Life Choices when he put GhebFE on a poll.

So...the game lied about her being third tier then? I expected nothing less (remember, less is more).

I honestly think not using her puts Moniker on Team Poor Life Choices But Trying To Make Them More Tolerable. Besides, he has Ewan anyway, he really doesn't need need. He's super strapped for Guilding rings as is.

Nino was 14, the same age as Juliet (from "Romeo and Juliet "), so that's totally OK.

That, or Romeo and Juliet isn't actually the description of a sane love relationship. What a twist it would be.

There's also the fact that most character in Fire Emblem tend to be like, 15 to 17 with only a few adults and a couple of old people.

You know, I hadn't considered it before, but now that you mention, that would make a lot of sense.

If he think loli is the worst fetish on the Internet, then he sure is.

I've done so far in the darkness of the Internet that I consider it once of the tamest thing you can find, especially if not combined with anything.

I mean, there could be a futanari in the game (There isn't, right ? Right.. ?)

I mean...it's pretty bad, though.

...to be honest, I'm not sure if this hack would, you know, it's vulgar but it's too lazy to go the effort of being vulgar in ways other than those done with incredible ease. So basically, through Lucius. So...I guess we'll find out eventually?

Nah, just lots of calamari.

It better be dead.

[MrNight48]

3rd tier? with those stats? haha no keep playing

and you really didn't get mastur bait? that makes it even funnier. It's like that cyanide & happiness joke about Dick Tucker, the easily aroused secret agent all over again that took me 6 months to get.

Also as much as I love FE awakening, I hate how much time it takes to grind skills out of parents for op kids. It kills my love for that game immensely and makes me want to play FE9 and 10 again.