screenshot TheMoniker struggles through GhebFE

[Nintales]

I'm not sorry at all, I already finished that hack.

I'll enjoy for sure watching Moniker losing his sanity. And Kitty too. Because I've been working secretely with her for that plan to work.

...

I've said too much. I must retreat.

[Blademaster!]

The veteran hackers who have been here would be better able to tell you how difficult this was to do based on the limitations back then.

Text editing and inserting animations in particular were a huge pain, as there was no FEditor or event assembler back then(notes on how to do event editing probably existed while he was working on his hack, but the process was so complicated it wasn't even worth it). That's likely the reason why the text has so many skips in it, since I imagine he just typed it straight into a hex editor because of how the load mug and new line commands worked. The guy who made this(FurryYeongSon IIRC?) was the first to document how the towers and random battles in FE8 work, which he probably did while making this hack. This hack has to have been made as far back as 2007 I'd imagine. It's pretty old.

[TheMoniker]

Seems we have a lot of responses. Time for the next update!

Crass humor and extreme immaturity of the content within, GhebFE was made in the way early days of hacking GBA games. I think it was done after Attack of the Morphs for FE7, or sometime around that era. Yeah, it was made by this guy. One of the first hacks for the GBA games that actually changed content for the entirety of the game but done in an era where eventing was a nightmarish bitch to handle.

The veteran hackers who have been here would be better able to tell you how difficult this was to do based on the limitations back then. On to the gameplay, it's actually quite annoying in difficulty at times, and some characters are clearly inferior to others. On the plus side there are a few "novel" classes and character differences in the route split, Tower of Valni and Lagdou Ruins are even harder than before but you do get the benefit of some Tier 3s, namely Gheb and Glass off the top of my head.

Think of this hack as a past AU of Klok's FE7 Chaos mode thoroughly excommunicated from the family yet miraculously managing to grow to completion despite the hardships faced when it came to developing.

Basically Klok's is made in mind with more fun game-play and few tweaks in mind, but developed in an era with a plethora of tools to achieve such a purpose whereas GHebFe is made in an era of crass stupidity for mindless fun but with enormous difficulties to face if you wanted to stray from the vanilla experience.

I'm pretty sure that this hack doesn't have custom animations, but it's sequel does, then again my memory is shoddy since I last played this when I was in my young highschool years.

I don't think the two are quite comparable aside from both being at their heart reskins(Chaos Mode and... this THING). I did know about the T3s through the readme.

OH BOY EVERYONE I HAPPEN TO BE EXPERT ON THIS SUBJECT

first off that one text skip earlier on was about "man why can't glass pwn him with his peerless skills " Glass takes the place of Ephraim.

second off, this game is very unfair, you see that mooving lance in gheb's inventory called the Nanbue river?

that has a "use" effect on it as well as a luna effect, so it pierces defense , when you "use" this weapon it DROPS A MINE.

the game does NOT tell you this and this is pretty much the only way to beat the prologe, sorry for spoiling but otherwise this would be a short playtho.

i told ya i didn't want him to do this game, but you allllllllllll just had to vote, good thing i'm here to save all of you.

EDIT: OH IT WAS A UPS, HE MADE ONE OF THAT? IT WAS SOMETHING COMPTELEY DIFFERENT BACK THEN

also when i did play this i did bring Amelia to the end game, so she is viable.

Wait, Mooving DROPS A MINE? That's actually very helpful advice, though I've already beaten the prologue by now.

Amelia doesn't seem bad, I'll probably train her...

... I always knew it was trash, but this is another level of awfulness. Something tells me you're gonna suffer in the hack's terrible sense of humour. I wonder would it get AO were it released in retail.

At first I thought it would just get M, but after seeing how much worse it gets just 1 chapter in...

just remember everyone that voted yes, don't call it a grave, its the future you chose, thankfully i'm here to make it doable, and to explain the backstory of all the jokes and the hack's background, which i will do after Monkier posts the prologue stuff.

Yeah, you guys! You can't say you didn't know about this! YOU were all the ones that not only voted that I should do the hack, but that I should do it QUICKLY!

FIFY. Seriously though, It'll be good to have someone around who can make sence of this.

Ugh reading this makes me want to play through Sacred Stones just to stab Gheb in the face. Seriously, the weapon names made me actually facedesk.

Moniker, hopefully you can help further make this hack into an example of how NOT to write for a hack.

"writing"? I can't criticize the writing in this hack, because there's nothing for me to criticize. This hack doesn't have writing, just an amalgamation of crass jokes.

GhebFE: Episode 1: Prologue: The Introduction

Today's helpful tutorial tells us in which order people move.

Now, let's have Gheb stomp t-

...

...

...This is how it's going to be, isn't it?

This very first engagement, right away, has introduced us to what may be the entire gameplay experience of this hack.

Our main lord, despite all his claims of schmexyness and power...

...is one-rounded by a random generic soldier.

WAIT! MAYBE OUR CRUTCH CHARACTER CAN HELP!

WELL CRAP.

I wait out the soldier, and get lucky enough for this to happen. This would presumably be possible without risk if you used Mine+Amelia chip+Gheb kill, but I didn't know we had mines when I did this.

As it is, I have Gheb, ah, PWN, this enemy unit.

The other one is just a bit easier to beat. What with his NEGATIVE SPEED and all.

O’Niell: fatass? You’re no match for me, turd.

Uh huh... well, best do it anyway.

Hey! Amelia is not a turd!

The Mastur Bait and Gheb's weapon do the EXACT amount of damage necessary to kill him...

After seeing Gheb's first level, I kinda gotta agree with the boss. Let's hope the guy can get some more stats.

Time for more AMAZING dialogue!

Gheb: It’s been a while since I’ve been outside this dump. Amelia, let’s embark on a quest!

Amelia: Uh, what?

And so, our "quest" is revealed, find out who Gleb is. As I said, I'm rooting for him, not this lame guy.

Yeah, you know? The castle full of our soldiers who could help us through this nightmare?

Oh yes... it's not like they were ALREADY destroyed or anything...

Okay, I'm honestly confused. Does Amelia hate Gheb or... not?

Come to think of it, why am I even trying to make sense of this? It's an exercise in futility, is what it is...

NEXT TIME: ...You know what, the title should tell you all you need to know. If you haven't jumped ship off the LP yet, you're probably best off doing it now.

[AsherAzon]

Beautiful. This is like watching a horrific car accident; you know you really should look away and forget about it, but you just can't bring yourself to.

[Tamanoir]

This is our history.

If we looks away now, an horror like this is bound to happen again in the future.

That's why we should never forget.

[Darrman]

0/10 anti-GOTY. Yeah, who thought it would be a good idea to have a chapter about going to the toilet? Toilet humour predictions: high. Monkier Sanity Index: Destabilising.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

oh wow you got super lucky with that dodge.

now to tell the story of gheb, alrighty, ya'll familiar with the idea of...Ironic shitposting?

its where you basically pretend to be retarded in the attempt for a reaction from people, some guy on gamefaqs first got the idea of "man Gheb is literally the worst boss ever, lets see how many people we can fool into thinking that i'm serious in my praise" which lead to this "joke" of him being a sex god that molests girls either got a large group of people that joined in on the joke, or were actually serious, its hard to tell really, but i can say that Gheb became a meme and that the hack author was not the guy who started it, but he did get the idea to come full circle and actually make a crass hack about it., so here we are.

to this day i have no idea how many people actually bought into the joke or how many people were just joking, i think it just kinda snowballed.

with that said i tried the ups patch and it didn't cooperate with me, i don't know why, but i won't complain cause its a bad game that i should not be going back too.

also fun fact i believe Gheb's CON in FE8 was like 16 con, which is still super HUGE, but not the what the fuck 22 con he starts out with here.

and yes i said starts out, on his promotion i believe he gains MORE, i can't quite remember how much more tho, but considering how his starting con is already overkill....

next chapter you should be obtaining an ACTUAL Jegian and a peg knight, usefulness of these two...well i'll go into detail when its time

Edited August 4, 2015 by HF Makalov Fanboy Kai

[Sadisticorc]

"writing"? I can't criticize the writing in this hack, because there's nothing for me to criticize. This hack doesn't have writing, just an amalgamation of crass jokes.

Ok you got me there. However, there is value in seeing where things went wrong (read: EVERYWHERE). And look on the bright side: since Gheb is crap, you can watch him die. A LOT. It's not much, but its something.

that chapter title though *shudders*

[SilverHairedFreak25]

On the bright side, this is FE8. The other "lord" in this game is Glass. If they didn't get rid of the route split(i doubt they did at this stage of the game), you can always take his route.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

On the bright side, this is FE8. The other "lord" in this game is Glass. If they didn't get rid of the route split(i doubt they did at this stage of the game), you can always take his route.

yeah glass is another route.

with that said his route and his own character has their fair share of problems, but Glass is more tolerable then Gheb.

[Upside-DownFish]

This is basically the anathema to human life. I'm loving every second of it.

[SilverHairedFreak25]

If it makes you feel any better, I just downloaded GhebFE myself, so I'll suffer along with you.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

If it makes you feel any better, I just downloaded GhebFE myself, so I'll suffer along with you.

can i get a link to that in a PM? cause nothing i can find online works

[TheMoniker]

This is our history.

If we looks away now, an horror like this is bound to happen again in the future.

That's why we should never forget.

You guys can do all the not forgetting, I'm purging this from my thoughts once we're done.

oh wow you got super lucky with that dodge.

now to tell the story of gheb, alrighty, ya'll familiar with the idea of...Ironic shitposting?

its where you basically pretend to be retarded in the attempt for a reaction from people, some guy on gamefaqs first got the idea of "man Gheb is literally the worst boss ever, lets see how many people we can fool into thinking that i'm serious in my praise" which lead to this "joke" of him being a sex god that molests girls either got a large group of people that joined in on the joke, or were actually serious, its hard to tell really, but i can say that Gheb became a meme and that the hack author was not the guy who started it, but he did get the idea to come full circle and actually make a crass hack about it., so here we are.

to this day i have no idea how many people actually bought into the joke or how many people were just joking, i think it just kinda snowballed.

with that said i tried the ups patch and it didn't cooperate with me, i don't know why, but i won't complain cause its a bad game that i should not be going back too.

also fun fact i believe Gheb's CON in FE8 was like 16 con, which is still super HUGE, but not the what the fuck 22 con he starts out with here.

and yes i said starts out, on his promotion i believe he gains MORE, i can't quite remember how much more tho, but considering how his starting con is already overkill....

next chapter you should be obtaining an ACTUAL Jegian and a peg knight, usefulness of these two...well i'll go into detail when its time

Yeah, I knew already this arose from some crazy meme, but this is helpful too.

On the bright side, this is FE8. The other "lord" in this game is Glass. If they didn't get rid of the route split(i doubt they did at this stage of the game), you can always take his route.

I'm gonna add a poll about what route we should do and whether we should do both.

can i get a link to that in a PM? cause nothing i can find online works

I was able to get it fine off of here, Serenes Forest... not sure why it isn't working for you.

Time to... to... to... ah...

The CHAPTER 1 PRELUDE!

GREATEST TITLE EVER

Seems we have a wyvern boss this time.

Tana's still Tana, at-

Wha! Calleach! What are you doing here!?

Calleach is still creepy.

Oh, of course.

Tana: Why do you ask?

Calleach: I’m tired of waiting for that turd. I’m bored.

(Caelly!!?)

Tana: How dare you speak of his schmexyness that way!

Wait, what? Tana, don't defend him!

Calleach: Caelly? WTF?

Tana: Yeah, Caelly, what is with speaking of Gheb that way?!

Calleach: Don’t ever call me that again.

Tana: Oh allright, you’re no fun.

Calleach: Anyway, I think there’s someone outside.

Tana: His schmexyness!

Oh, hey there, generic frelian.

You know, all you guys always talk about how Batta gets the short end of the stick. But this generic frelian is the FE8 version, he gets pounded in ALL his appearances.

Frelian: Allright, sir.

A peg(that's Tana, right!?) exits... In the opposite direction of the people she thought were Gheb. This makes no sense.

They're here to guard it? But... why?

And Pawn here is...

NOT dead?

AND he got a hit in return?

...And then he just dies anyway. Okay.

Breguet: Men! Take your places!

Breguet does this afterward. Just... what?

And then we arrive. Just in case you forgot what hack we were playing.

Amelia: Uh, the castle might have a bathroom.

I'd tell him to just go in the lake, but I don't want to contaminate the wildlife.

Gheb: Let’s go Amelia!

Amelia: Eek! Right away schmexyness sir.

END DIALOGUE

That wasn't THAT bad... I guess... time for our tutorial!

The game helpfully reveals Glass as our next lord, and tells us not to let them die. Noted.

The fighters and soldiers are all still SUPREME. And there's no wimpy versions to make life easier this time. They're ALL like this.

The boss is a wyvern. This actually isn't a bad thing.

NEXT TIME: The prologue, EXCEPT WORSE

[Darrman]

Yep. We're fighting to get to the toilet. Whoop-de-whoop. What an inspiring cause.

[RandomSwordmaster]

Just when you think it can't get any worse....it does...

[SilverHairedFreak25]

Yep. We're fighting to get to the toilet. Whoop-de-whoop. What an inspiring cause.

Hey, Ephraim225 did it in Emblem Warriors.

[TheMoniker]

Yep. We're fighting to get to the toilet. Whoop-de-whoop. What an inspiring cause.

Yeah, I'm really motivated(/sarcasm).

Hey, Ephraim225 did it in Emblem Warriors.

Of course, Emblem Warriors wasn't... this...

Warning: Relatively long update ahead!

GhebFE: Episode 2: Chapter 1: Moniker vs This Hack

We start off with a tutorial that's mostly in Spanish. Very helpful.

At the VERY LEAST, these fighters have Swordreavers, so Amelia can beat them. Forest usage allows us to survive the first turn!

Breguet is still injured from the weird event. He'll be healed when we get to him.

Amelia leaves the random trees to block the attack, too lazy to move.

Oh hey, more people! This is great! ...For gameplay, that is.

...What?

Oh, okay, he was just bringing Tana to us... Probably.

Tana: Yay Ghebby! Thanks, Caelly!

Calleach: Ugh, if you weren’t Gheb’s fugly whore, you would be so dead right now.

And with that beautiful dialogue, we have new party members!

We have this independent, powerful woman who can-HAHA NO.

Those stats might look good but in this hack, she is 100% ABSOLUTELY UNTRAINABLE. Without lots of luck, that is.

Wow. This is the most happy I've ever been to see Caellach. This is the "real" crutch character Malakov mentioned, and he'll be helping to carry us through this nightmare, if only for a little while.

Gheb doesn't have the advantage of doubled weapon triangle bonuses, so let's just say training him is gonna be difficult.

Amelia has to do the work instead!

Now let's visit Break Into this house!

Most houses give helpful gameplay or story advice.

NOT THIS ONE.

At the very least, the map has a safe place for Tana to hide!

This soldier moves, but doesn't attack... must be an AI bug. Maybe we can work with this!

Gheb, much as I hate to say it, I kinda need you to be good!

The units still have their "Talk" conversations... Even if they're slightly renamed.

Gheb: You whore! I need a bathroom, NAO!

Tana: There’s a neat one in the fort.

Gheb: Excellent, now get me some water!

Tana: Uhhhh…

Do I even need to say anything?

Stupid 2-rangers! The only other one who has 2-range options is Amelia.

...Okay then!

Caellach is gonna do most of the work on this fort.

Or he would, IF HE WOULD STOP SUCKING.

*Much time later*

Courtesy of Malakov, we now know about the new FE8 Mine! I'm fairly certain these were actually imported from FE7, somehow...

And then the soldiers decide to go for Caellach instead of the Amelia bait. I try guys, I really do.

I have him eat some crumpets, and we get the soldier nice and lured!

I imagine Mine+Chip+Kill was supposed to be our tactics all along... at least Amelia got an okay level.

Bluh!

Seriously, this soldier have me SO much trouble. Caellach missed him like 5 times.

...Skill is good? Is some defense or speed too much to ask for here?

Ah, two not-horrible characters can talk!

Amelia: Oh, Tana! You’re allright.

Tana: Yup! All for master Gheb.

Amelia: *text skips* this worshipping thing too far)

Forget it, Tana is ALSO registered as a Horrible Character for going along with this whole thing. Let's hope Amelia isn't the only one opposed to this guy...

Luring out the last soldier!

(Except this is the absolute wrong spot to put a lure and I had to try again)

Hey! We're gonna wi-

HOPE YOU DIDN'T FORGET THESE GUYS!

A wyvern? A SUPER wyvern? On a map THIS SMALL? WHAT!?

I try to have Gheb lure him out. It doesn't go well, and I decide to just savestate back.

Okay, hopefully the wyvern will choose this space to attack...

He does, and the mine takes effect AFTER HE ATTACKS, even though it doesn't for the other soldiers! What the heck!? Is that a flier thing?!

(That death quote... :C)

Looks like Caellach is gonna do it. AGAIN.

Ugh, this guy is all flash and little substance! STOP! MISSING!

Everyone has to hide because of the wyvern's ridiculous flyer range of attack.

The battle continues on for a while...

Flirt? Is that... support?

...

...I don't want to...

...And yet I feel like I also have to...

Gheb: Wut, loli?

Amelia: I uhh…

Gheb: Do you love me?

Amelia: Y-Yes I do.

WHY!? WHY DID I DO THIS!? WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER DO THIS!?

Amelia: Ahh, uh! Um!

Gheb: Whut, loli?

Amelia: Why don’t I freshen up then… Hehe?

Gheb: LOL. You do that, loli.

Amelia: Uh, bai. Brb.

Amelia leaves and Gheb fidgets for a while.

The fidgeting continues...

Gheb: Loli!

How did that... You know what? Forget it. Maybe I'll let you guys decide if I should continue the support chain...

pleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesayno

Caellach, you have failed ONE TOO MANY TIMES!

Amelia swoops in to handle things! Let's be grateful that the Mastur Bait is good against wyverns in addition to monsters.

Oh, and you know how earlier I said it was good that Bregeut was a wyvern? This is why.

Super effective powers!

(Note that the Mastur Bait is doing more damage. That random generic wyvern was STRONGER THAN THE BOSS.)

I have to give him levels...

This is so uncomfortable... why did I agree to play this thing front of the entire internet!? Please don't judge me guys... BECAUSE IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Since we're ending, have an extra tutorial that I accidentally recorded. I have no idea why they're in Spanish. This was an English ROM! Was it intentional!?

Time to Sieze Sit...

Gheb: Yeah, well… I am GHEB! Does it matter?

Tana: Yeah, does it?

Caellach: Ugh.

Gheb: Well, Caellach, fugly whore,

AccomPAIN indeed.

Caellach: And that is?

Gheb: Destroying this Gleb thing!!

Caellach: Right.

Tana: Sure thing boss!

Gheb: I mean, do you have a choice!?

Caellach: I guess not.

He dashes past them, presumably to the bathroom.

Well okay, not "presumably".

Caellach: I see…

And we just skip to the map screen!

N: And so, after Gheb emptied his bowels,

I know my transcripted text and the screenshot are in a weird order, IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE TEXT SKIPS!

Caellach: It’s been a while.

Tana: Of course we are, Boss!

Gheb: Now, Moulder was supposed to be here

...What.

Gheb: Moulder! Caellach! Bring Moulder to me!

Caellach: *sigh* Right away, sir…

You know guys, you could just scroll down really fast... you don't have to read this...

Moulder: Ah, yes… Vanessa!

Moulder: Girly, here’s your new master.

Gheb: Ohoho, Moulda, she fine, she hawt.

Vanessa: Allright, when do we get started, fat lord?

Gheb: Lol, huh?

*bonk*

Gheb: I don’t like her! I don’t like you!

Moulder: But, schmexyness, you cannot deny it, she is fine.

Gheb: Indeed, Moulda. Very well! Your efforts shall not be wasted!

*BONK*

Gheb: But,

*BONK*

My poor head...

Gheb: …or I’ll kill you!

Vanessa: Ahh!

Moulder: You heard him! Pay the man!

Vanessa: Yes!!

That's... that's where our starter cash comes from?

...Seriously?

Gheb: This place is too good for that fail-whore.

Amelia: There are some villages nearby.

Gheb: Perfect!

I'm not going to pretend to understand anymore.

Amelia: Ack! Yes schmexyness sir! (Why me!!)

Well, it's FINALLY over! There wasn't as much toilet humor as I thought, though what we got was arguably worse...

...

...Let's hope the non-indicative titles continue!

GROWTHS:

TANA:

HP: 65%

Strength: 30%

Skill: 55%

Speed: 80%

Luck: 60%

Defense: 20%

Resistance: 55%

Total: 365%

That's a very good growths total, but with those bases, and the poor strength/defense in a game where good attack and defense are NECESSARY? Yeah, not going to the trouble.

CAELLACH:

HP: 40%

Strength: 75%

Skill: 40%

Speed: 40%

Luck: 25%

Defense: 30%

Resistance: 20%

Total: 270%

For a crutch character, these aren't TERRIBLE growths, particularly his strength... all the same, I can't see much long-term viability. At the same time, though, we NEED him NOW!

[Xtremekiwi]

Can't decide if this hack falls under So Bad it's Good, Bile Fascination or just...plain bad.

[RandomSwordmaster]

Can't decide if this hack falls under So Bad it's Good, Bile Fascination or just...plain bad.

Pretty sure we got a case of just plain bad here...

[Tamanoir]

I feels so dirty just reading this.

Why did we (well, you, not me) forced you to play through this ?

[Nintales]

Yep, Tana sucks. She is even untrainable at the tower, unless you want to put two units with high defense on a corner with her protected by them.

And even then, I remember you get way better units.

Caellach is not so bad. He is decent, as both a crutch character and a later on unit. I think he has a T3 promotion.

[Darrman]

... Yeah, no words are necessary. Monkier Sanity Index: Starting To Lose It. Outlook for the next chapter: Grim.

[HF Makalov Fanboy Kai]

ya did pretty well there, alright time for character talk.

Gheb: not going to lie, he's only good at doing alot of damage in one hit, MAYBE he'll survive a round of combat due to his HP

Ameila: actually pretty damn good overall, a must have in my opinion

Tana: I have somehow managed to train her in the past and she CAN be really good, but its definitely not worth the effort and the save state abuse needed.

CAELLACH: he'll be saving your ass early game, but that low luck and bases are going to murder him once you get actually good units.

i believe you get a cavalier and a monk next chapter, the cavalier might be alright but the monk is questionable.

[NobodiePichu]

oh god this is painful. . . please dont continue the support chain

im still interested to see were this goes though, gameplay wise at least.