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NekoKnight
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I edited the OP with all of the material I have received so far. Sorry for not posting more of my own ideas lately. I wanted to see more of the localization changes before I really dig into my rewrite.

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I edited the OP with all of the material I have received so far. Sorry for not posting more of my own ideas lately. I wanted to see more of the localization changes before I really dig into my rewrite.

Same.

Except I'm keeping the name "Tsubaki" because fuck """Subaki"""

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  • 2 weeks later...

Been thinking (sorry about the double post) about my FEFanfic.

I'll probably start putting some little prologues/bonus stuff in a thread sooner or later.

i"m just going over stuff due to localization changes.

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Since "Shiro" is a used name now and Shiro is going to me in my story, his name..

Is now Flynn. The evil kid is Flynn.

FKamui/Fubuki is the same girl, just different haircuts.

As far as names go, I thought I was using too many Hoshidan names, so I went with a more Euro based one, thus Flynn.

In canon, I'm thinking having a Hoshidan name but living in Nohr is kind of frowned upon. The reverse is also true.

I'll probably put up stuff focusing on Flynn, his daughters Mikoto and Shenmei, and Touma.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I thought of a scenario that might make Fates story more believable and even relatable. A lot of people have complained about the story, and I can see why they have. Also, if a thread like this has been posted before, I apologize. I'm a new member here and may have not seen it. So...

What if instead of starting as a grown up in your fortress in Nohr, the game starts out with your Nohrian siblings raising you when you were a baby? It'll still look like you were born to Nohr since the kidnapping wouldn't be shown. At this point in time, Garon's possession wouldn't have begun. He was ruthless to his enemies, but a loving father to his children. His subjects were starving, and Hoshido was plentiful with resources but refused to share with the Nohrians, perhaps due to cultural differences. This left Garon with no choice but to provoke Hoshido into war so they could conquer their lands and sustain the kingdom, which is why he ended up killing Sumeragi and stealing the avatar, since Sumeragi was the leading figure around closing negotiations with Nohr. This would give some background to the history of Hoshido and Nohr's conflict, and might paint Hoshido in a less than perfect light.

When you begin to come of age, you are locked up in the Nohrian fortess. Garon insists it's for your safety when in reality, it's to prevent you from ever finding out the truth about your Hoshidan roots (which you still don't know about yet). As you grow up, your siblings visit you and train with you. (Your training sessions with Xander could be some tutorial maps) and you share many laughs and bonding moments, you get to choose your retainers (another map idea), and your visits with Garon are stern but heartfelt. However, with each annual visit, Garon becomes less fatherly and more fearsome, but you fail to notice since you don't see him often enough. You also act as a role model for Elise as she grows up.

Now, all my points above would end up taking up a good chunk of the game, more than six chapters for sure. When you're old enough to finally leave the fortress and you have the visit with Garon where you have to kill the Hoshidan prisoners, you instead question why Garon is being so unusually cruel even before you engage the prisoners. But you shrug it off, and acknowledge that this must be the realities of war. However, at this point, Garon wouldn't be 'fully evil' yet. When you ask that the prisoners are given mercy, Garon would grant them their freedom rather than demand you to kill them. He would scold you that you can't be so soft when at war, and you understand. However, he expresses that he has high hopes for you, and says that perhaps they are too naive yet to fully understand since they were locked away in the fortress. Garon sends you on the mission to the Bottomless Canyon for redemption, you are ambushed, and taken to Hoshido with the Ganglari in hand.

Now you have more deep rooted connections and bonds to Nohr. Everything would play out exactly the same, except that the Ganglari was only intended to kill Mikoto and not you. Then, it's time for you to choose who to side with. I think by fleshing out Nohr's side more with some backstory, it'll make the decision much harder. What happened with the Ganglari killing Mikoto (and almost killing you) because of Garon in the castle square completely overrides your current bond with your siblings as being reason enough to go back to Nohr. Nohr (Garon) tried to kill you and killed your birth mother! Why would you go back? Garon needs to have redeeming qualities that the avatar admire(d). It would make the story a lot more interesting if you ended up choosing Nohr, as instead of trying to just overthrow Garon, you would be determined to discover what's happened to him. Convince your siblings that he's not the same man, that something has gone wrong. Go to war with Hoshido, but explain to your blood siblings that Garon needs access to the 'throne of truth' as it's the only way to bring him down. Start a revolution with the help of Hoshido, whose soldiers are reluctant after all that Nohr has done, but the avatar can convince in the end. Make Xander and the others less trusting of their father as they begin to see his evil ways that weren't present before. When Garon wants you killed after you discover your true roots in Hoshido, Xander and the others should take a stand and believe what the avatar has to say.

That's one of my takes on a possible rewrite for the story. It'd be interesting to see what ideas others had in mind as well!

Good ideas, and I agree that the Avatar needs more reasons to stick around in Nohr and for Garon to have more humanizing qualities. It's sorta inferred that Marx obeys Garon out of respect for the man he used to be but it contrasts too greatly with the insane tyrant that we see in game.

Question: Is it really important that the Avatar never learns his heritage? I think a better insurance plan would be to not keep it a secret but make a loving environment for the Avatar to grow up in so he never wants to leave.

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Good ideas, and I agree that the Avatar needs more reasons to stick around in Nohr and for Garon to have more humanizing qualities. It's sorta inferred that Marx obeys Garon out of respect for the man he used to be but it contrasts too greatly with the insane tyrant that we see in game.

Question: Is it really important that the Avatar never learns his heritage? I think a better insurance plan would be to not keep it a secret but make a loving environment for the Avatar to grow up in so he never wants to leave.

Thank you for including my idea in your thread! To answer your question, I think from a logical standpoint, it would make more sense to tell them about their heritage. But to add to the shock of finding out your 'true heritage' I think it can probably stay. Might make the Nohr siblings look a little questionable though.

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Thank you for including my idea in your thread! To answer your question, I think from a logical standpoint, it would make more sense to tell them about their heritage. But to add to the shock of finding out your 'true heritage' I think it can probably stay. Might make the Nohr siblings look a little questionable though.

Marx knows you are from Hoshido but I don't know if the other siblings did. If they want to have a surprising reveal, they can let the Avatar know he was originally from Hoshido but leave out the part he was a prince of Hoshido.

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Marx knows you are from Hoshido but I don't know if the other siblings did. If they want to have a surprising reveal, they can let the Avatar know he was originally from Hoshido but leave out the part he was a prince of Hoshido.

That's pretty good! Then it leaves more time for you to reflect upon your decision. The game emphasized the choice but it was so rushed, too much happened in the span of six chapters for you to make a solid decision.

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Okay, so I'm a little stuck right now since I've been souring on ideas almost as fast as I can come up with them, so I'm just gonna explain what I definitely have right now.

The original framing device was that Corrin was secretly depressed and kept a journal, with some characters reading it to gain a better insight into his character after he died. Not only is this really wangsty in hindsight, but it sets a more depressing tone than what I'm going for. What I'm thinking of right now is that after he died, Odin wrote a retelling of his adventures as a tribute to his memory but, with Odin being Odin, he took an artistic license with what went down. Odin's retelling is a lot closer to the plot of the game (Black and White morality, villains all being mustache twirlers and other such things) while the copy being read by characters in the story (Xander to start with) are reading an amended version that explains what actually happened.

There's a nine-and-a-half year time gap between the start of the game events and the start of the fic. Three-and-a-half years of war between Nohr and Hoshido, three years of Nohr and Hoshido preparing for an all-out war against Valla, one year of war against Valla and then two years of aftermath.

Scarlet lives and is Ryoma's waifu.

I don't know who Xander's wife will be. It's a toss up between Charlotte, Hinoka and Sakura right now.

Peri's personality is changed a bit. She normally only acts childish, but she flips out at the sight and smell of blood.

Some of the kids are born, but the babyrealm is scrapped. Shiro and Siegbert are toddlers while Shigure and Kana are twins and either three or four years old.

Hoshido still has a lot of resentment against Nohr and distrusts Valla.

The plot no longer circlejerks Corrin (it does in Odin's retelling though), although I've yet to decide how much it's downplayed.

Mikoto survives, not sure what I'll have her do yet.

Advice please? I really need it right now.

Edited by Phillius
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Okay, so I'm a little stuck right now since I've been souring on ideas almost as fast as I can come up with them, so I'm just gonna explain what I definitely have right now.

The original framing device was that Corrin was secretly depressed and kept a journal, with some characters reading it to gain a better insight into his character after he died. Not only is this really wangsty in hindsight, but it sets a more depressing tone than what I'm going for. What I'm thinking of right now is that after he died, Odin wrote a retelling of his adventures as a tribute to his memory but, with Odin being Odin, he took an artistic license with what went down. Odin's retelling is a lot closer to the plot of the game (Black and White morality, villains all being mustache twirlers and other such things) while the copy being read by characters in the story (Xander to start with) are reading an amended version that explains what actually happened.

There's a nine-and-a-half year time gap between the start of the game events and the start of the fic. Three-and-a-half years of war between Nohr and Hoshido, three years of Nohr and Hoshido preparing for an all-out war against Valla, one year of war against Valla and then two years of aftermath.

Scarlet lives and is Ryoma's waifu.

I don't know who Xander's wife will be. It's a toss up between Charlotte, Hinoka and Sakura right now.

Peri's personality is changed a bit. She normally only acts childish, but she flips out at the sight and smell of blood.

Some of the kids are born, but the babyrealm is scrapped. Shiro and Siegbert are toddlers while Shigure and Kana are twins and either three or four years old.

Hoshido still has a lot of resentment against Nohr and distrusts Valla.

The plot no longer circlejerks Corrin (it does in Odin's retelling though), although I've yet to decide how much it's downplayed.

Mikoto survives, not sure what I'll have her do yet.

Advice please? I really need it right now.

So, if I've got this right, your story is going to be an amalgamation of the three routes, right?

It might be helpful to establish where everything starts, who the major players are/their agenda's, and where you want to finish. You probably saw my general framework of the Conquest retelling in the other story discussion thread. I'd advise making similar summaries of how you want the events to play out. If your stories have three acts, make three summaries.

Your pairing sound good. While Marx x Charlotte is a good support, if you're going for a Nohr/Hoshido alliance, Marx x Hinoka might be more thematic.

Concerning the framing device, I can respect that as an artistic direction, but I think it needs to have a purpose. Do you want a biased or exaggerated telling of Kamui's story (as told by Odin)? If so, why? Who is he delivering this story to?

Edited by NekoKnight
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So, if I've got this right, your story is going to be an amalgamation of the three routes, right?

It might be helpful to establish where everything starts, who the major players are/their agenda's, and where you want to finish. You probably saw my general framework of the Conquest retelling in the other story discussion thread. I'd advise making similar summaries of how you want the events to play out. If your stories have three acts, make three summaries.

Yeah, it's sort of amalgamation of all three. Right now, Nohr only goes up to chapter 15 before going non-canon and Hoshido will probably have a completely different story after chapter 7. A lot of chapters 3-5 is getting changed as well, but I'm ironing out the specifics.

Your pairing sound good. While Marx x Charlotte is a good support, if you're going for a Nohr/Hoshido alliance, Marx x Hinoka might be more thematic.

Mhmm, political marriages are all over the place!

Concerning the framing device, I can respect that as an artistic direction, but I think it needs to have a purpose. Do you want a biased or exaggerated telling of Kamui's story (as told by Odin)? If so, why? Who is he delivering this story to?

He's delivering it as a general 'in memory of' novelisation of what happened (since Owain was dabbles with writing fiction in Awakening, I headcanon that he writes his stories based on exaggerations of what happens in his life). The exaggeration is a means of justifying the edited version for two reasons:

1- Odin's rewriting blew up in a way that nobody suspected it would, to the point where what Odin said happened is the most widely-believed account of the events

2- Even though his heart was in the right place, the exaggeration has a lot of unfortunate implications (Nohr's upper-class being portrayed as puppy kickers for instance) and accidentally fuels a lot of negative stereotypes about various nations (especially Nohr). Considering that the relationship between the nations of the world is tense at best, the edited version is an attempt by the others to clear up a lot of misunderstandings.

Edited by Phillius
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I have this idea where the story takes place in a era when Nohr conquered Hoshido before the Avatar was born. This takes inspiration from an idea I think Neko Knight shared at one point in that, Nohr is currently an occupying force and the Hoshidans are a rebel cell group. However, the tragedy is that this is how the avatar has always grown up thinking that's the way life is an has had no part in the conflict up to this point.

There would be no involvement of the invisible kingdom or dragon god dad either, I don't wanna have to deal with that. For the most part Garon would act less like a cartoon villain and more like an oppriseve Caesar trying to hold together a dying/expanding empire. Add to that the civil war tensions of those that would put Xander or one of the other princes on the throne and the Hoshido liberation movement that's using increasingly bold and or brutal tactics to overthrow the occupation and you've got a powder keg.

Also a more tame idea I had would be a one shot where basically some fates characters goes to an out realm that's basically Las Vegas. Only thing I'm set on as far as plot is that Percy and F!Kanna will try and sneak into a casino and take advantage of Percy's Lucky streaks. Other than that... maybe an appearance by the Rat Pack

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Okay, here is what I am currently toying with. I haven't started writing this yet and I'm still in the midst of brainstorming and sorting everything out. I write fantasy romance so I may or may not be too lovey-dovey for you guys. *laughs* I do believe that a good love story needs a solid plot if it wants to prevent itself from being boring, though, so hopefully this will fit in alright. :)

The TLDR version / premise:

Corrin is missing or dead. Garon and Iago have realized that Charlotte looks a lot like her, and have used a spell to fill in the missing details. The Nohr siblings do not realize anything is wrong, aside from Corrin being a bit off at swords which they chalk up to her having been 'sick'. Garon makes a deal with Charlotte: if she uses the disguise he and Iago have given her to infiltrate Hoshido and kill Queen Mikoto, Garon will let her choose either Xander or Leo as a husband. Something (what?) has happened to one of Charlotte's family members and she is desperate, so she agrees to their plan.

When she gets to Hoshido, an item that Iago gave her is successful in preventing her from falling under the barrier spell. But as she spends time with the Hoshidan siblings and the Queen, waiting for the right moment to strike, her resolve begins to waiver. She is not sure if she can go through with it. The day of the festival where "Corrin's return" is going to be made public arrives. Before going to the plaza, Charlotte is approached by Orochi, who wants to read her fortune. The fortune tells Charlotte three things:

Prince Takumi is in peril and may die.

Princess Elise is in peril and may die.

Garon is a slime monster. (this is totally false and is done by Iago.)

It is Charlotte's destiny to save them both. (this is the true third thing. The one Iago blocked would have actually warned Charlotte about Ganglari.)

Dazed by what she has discovered, Charlotte leaves Orochi determined to find a way to tell the Queen what she knows. With any luck that could work out well for both of them since Charlotte has not harmed her (or anyone else) and Queen Mikoto seems like a kind, understanding person. Unfortunately, the Ganglari explodes, robbing her of any such opportunity.

Charlotte feels responsible for the Queen's death. Now, with the guilt of that and the fortune from Orochi hanging over her, she must find a way to *still* save her family and set things right.

Charlotte x Takumi (more likely) or Charlotte x Leo or Xander (less likely--this idea grabbed me because its unusual) and an epic quest ensues...

Here's my actual survey:

FE Fates Fan Fiction Survey

1. What routes are you working on? Is it an amalgamation of all three? Is it an alternate universe style retelling?

My story combines aspects of Hoshido and Nohr. So far, I’ve not added anything that relates to the 3rd route. I don’t really want to work with it in this fic. If Anankos gets any mention it will simply be as Nohr’s deity and his realness will be mostly left up to the reader.

2. What notable changes would you make to the plot?

My plot is that Corrin is either dead or has gone missing (haven’t decided which yet). However, it has recently been discovered that Charlotte, a royal guard, bares a striking resemblance to her save for the color of her eyes / tips of her ears. With this in mind, Garon and iago have cooked up a plan to use a spell to completely switch Charlotte’s appearance and use her to infiltrate Hoshido. With time, they figure she will be able to find a way to assassinate Queen Mikoto and bring down the barrier. (Or so they tell her. The real plan, of course, is Ganglari.)

In exchange for her help, Garon has promised Charlotte that she will be able to choose Xander or Leo as a husband. She wants this for status (of course) and is willing to go this route (1) because something has happened to one of her loved ones (haven’t decided details yet) and (2) she has learned they are both decent men while pretending to be Corrin.

When she is being shown around Hoshido by Hinoka & co. On the day Mikoto is to announce her (Corrin’s) presence, they are stopped by Orochi, who offers to tell Charlotte’s (”Corrin”) fortune. Wanting to seem normal, Charlotte agrees but Orochi’s fortune goes crazy and ends up telling Charlotte that it is her destiny to prevent the deaths of Prince Takumi and Princess Elise. Orochi starts to tell her something else but (unknown to the characters, of course) the ‘fortune’ is highjacked by Iago who uses it to have Orochi tell them that all in Nohr is not what it seems and that appearances can be deceiving. This somewhat scares Charlotte—she thinks Orochi may have seen through her disguide—but when Orochi goes back to normal (not quite sure on the details of how this whole fortune thing is gonna go down yet) she tells Charlotte that it was King Garon’s face that she saw when she was speaking. (Which, of course, is going to get passed on to the siblings, etc. To further incite that Garon is evil / must be stopped.)

Charlotte & co. Make it to the square and Ganglari goes off. Unlike Corrin, Charlotte does not turn into a dragon. But she does get chosen by Yato (I think. Still working on this. Charlotte is naturally an ax wielder so I wonder how the heck to sort that out…?) The siblings + Charlotte are then informed that people from Nohr are making an advance and we get the setup for Chapter six.

Charlotte will decide to return to Nohr for now, thinking she can escape the furious Takumi and claim her prize since Mikoto is dead. Things will *not* go as she plans. I then intend for her to rejoin Hoshido at Chapter 12, thinking that Elise’s illness is the danger she was warned about and knowing she needs to still save Takumi. (Just occurred to me I need to give her a motive to have to save them both. He’ll definitely not have endeared himself to her between 5,6, and 10.) When he gets sick later she will be able to give advice on where to get him medicine. And when they get to the Forelorn Forest to fight Leo, Charlotte will wander off by herself while the others have camped and will *think* she is confronting Leo alone until she realizes Takumi is there. I’m not sure if they’re gonna duo against him or if a larger group will show up if Leo summons fallen / has retainers with him, but I know it will be after this point that Charlotte will decide she has to tell Takumi—whom I’m hoping she’ll have grown close to—the truth.

That’s as far ahead as I’ve thought this through.

Are problematic elements (the curse, the magic throne, the crystal ball, operation tears, Nohr and Hoshido being too black and white, everything Aqua does) going to be addressed?

The curse does not exist.

The crystal ball isn’t a crystal ball anymore—it’s an item called the Fate Stone and it works as a compass trying to warn Charlotte whether Takumi or Elise are in danger. It also shows Garon to Hoshidans when the last part of Orochi’s fortune is brought up. Unfortunately for Charlotte, it doesn’t do that when shown to Leo because the last part of Orochi’s fortune was hijacked by Iago and King Garon, within this story, is an ordinary (if not extraordinary) ruler who is bitter over Queen Mikoto’s unwillingness to share resources with his people, all because of a 300 year old feud that she had nothing to do with. (Garon and Sumuragi were suppose to discuss trade negotiations to try and put an end to that, but Iago convinced Garon that Sumaragi would distract him and use ninja to assassinate him, so Garon set up an ambush and kidnapped Corrin.)

I have no idea what operations tears is, so I’m *hoping* no?

Nohr is a more militant nation because the area it is located in is, topographically, inferior. It’s a harsh land where strength and cunning are what determines whether someone will survive. Hoshido is a much more resource rich land, but part of the reason for this success is a weariness (and sometimes downright racist) outlook on those who are not born of Hoshido. (They especially hate Nohrians, go figure.) There was an attempt to have a prince and princess of the two nations wed 300 years ago but something went horribly wrong, resulting in the (much, much worse) levels of distrust / contempt / violence / outright hate that exists today. (still working out details)

Aqua is a 5th Nohrian sibling, and Corrin was actually the Hoshidan siblings half sibling (Mikoto x Sumaragi). Her songs can break enchantments / drive away evil spells, but there’s no other realm for her to visit, etc.

Are there any themes to be communicated over each route?

I’m still debating whether this is gonna be Charlotte x Takumi or Charlotte x Leo. I’m leaning far more heavily toward the first option, provided he doesn’t kill her when she finally tells him the truth. (I don’t even know how they wound up in this mess, lol.) Charlotte’s gotta learn that life and love aren’t things you can put a price on. Takumi will have to learn to look a little deeper before he judges people (or more impotently, before he is nasty to them.) Charlotte had decided she was going to tell Queen Mikoto the truth and reveal what had happened to Corrin, but Takumi scared her enough that she didn’t and then Ganglari exploded, removing that option.

What is the overall direction and "point" of each route?

Chapters Prologue-2 will establish Charlotte’s relationship with the Nohr siblings, her mission from Garon and the extent of her disguise. (Getting people use to that idea, basically.)

Chapters 3-6 will deal with Bottomless Canyon, Hoshido (including the fortune) and Charlotte fleeing Hoshido, terrified someone will learn she isn’t Corrin.

Chapter 7-11 will show Garon and Iago not keeping their word to Charlotte and doing things to try and bump her off before the truth of their deception can also reach the Nohrian siblings. (How long before she slips up, even if she is too afraid to tell them and face their rejection? She’s deceived them, too.)

Chapter 12 will deal with Charlotte surrendering herself to Ryouma at McCarth, thinking that Elise’s illness is the ‘danger’ foretold of by Orochi and deciding that the least she can do for each set of siblings is save the one the fortune has told her is in peril. (By this point Charlotte feels immense guilt over the level of deception she has been forced to use toward everyone. She is very isolated.)

Chapter 13 will find us in Cheve, where Charlotte and Azura will save Takumi from Iago’s possession before they all (along with Ryouma, Scarlet, etc. Escape Charlotte’s own former allies, who have been sent to Cheve by Iago and Garon to quell the rebellion.)

… Basically, I know that a lot of the next few chapters will work within the Birthright plot frame. I would *love* to find a way to have Charlotte prevent Flora’s suicide so she could have a subplot with jakob, but that’s not written in stone. (And subplot may be too big a word. I’d mostly just like to imply that between him and Felicia, Flora finds the will to live even though she screwed up. I think that seeing Charlotte inspire that in Flora would help Takumi inspire that in *her* when things go south after Chapter 18.)

Note: I’m referencing game chapters, not necessarily chapters within my story, just so we’re clear. :)

3. What notable changes would you make to the characters?

— Benny either doesn’t really know Charlotte, or he knew her from Krackenburg long before she came to initially be a border guard. I’ve actually considered making him her older brother. He’s gonna meet a shit fate if I do that (potentially) but when she gets removed from the royal guard, that could be how she ‘thinks’ she got her in to the border guard before things go crazy. Alternately, Effie could be the sibling I need. (I think those two are the closest matches to Charlotte, no? Seems easier than making an OC but I can do that if needed.)

— Corrin, Takumi and Sakura were full blood siblings. Hinoka and Ryouma were from Sumaragi’s first wife.

— Oboro is seeing Hinata, rather than crushing on Takumi. I’m not a fan of girl-hate scenarios, but I also don’t wanna leave her all alone either since I do love her as a character. I just don’t feel compelled to do an Oboro x Takumi romance right now because (1) the game did a good job, and (2) I love romance but there has to be plot and conflict. I don’t see enough of it there right now. (Sorry, Oboro.)

I’m sure there will be more changes, but I’m mostly focused on fleshing the core characters I need and sorting out plot points right now.

What is Kamui all about (background, personality, abilities)?

Corrin is either dead or missing—I haven’t decided quite what happened to her yet.

What is Aqua all about (personality, role in the plot)?

Azura was brought to Hoshido as a hostage but has lived there happily for many years. She is treated kindly by Mikoto & family, but does deal with rejection from the Hoshidan people and arrive at Dragonfall. When Charlotte goes with Ryouma, Azura decides to accompany her, which fortunately leads to the ability to save Takumi from his first bought of possession by Iago. (I realize the 10 and 13 Nohr things I’m using were not Iago in the game, but I want Takumi to be saved and an HEA for Takumi x Charlotte (if she doesn’t throw me a curveball and go with Leo. Weirder shit has happened.) by the end of my fic so I’m just gonna roll with that. XD )

What are the Hoshidan and Nohrian siblings all about (personalities, roles in the plot)?

The Nohrian siblings do not realize that anything has happened. They were told to avoid the Northern Fortress for a week (?) and then things went on as normal. They are under the impression that some form of illness swept the fortress but that Corrin & co. Ended up fine. (Maybe I could use this to bump off an excess character like Felicia to help validate what they believe? *ponders*)

Camilla is going to be motherly to all three younger siblings.

Leo is fine until he learns the truth. Then, depending on how things go, he’s either going to take it hard but eventually see that it was not entirely Charlotte’s fault (and definitely not her fault that something happened to Corrin) or he’s going to end up teaming up with Iago to get rid of her despite Garon’s plans for some reason. (I don’t have quite the right motive if I do this yet, but I know Iago was Leo’s mentor in this story and I can only imagine how thrilled Leo would be to find out that Garon was trying to pair him off with the woman who was faking being his sister… Leo doesn’t seem as verbally fiery about betrayal as Takumi, but I’m pretty sure he’d be plenty ready to kill or worse for what has happened here. Suggestions or other opinions are welcome. This is very much open to ideas.

Xander and Charlotte may have a bit of history. Maybe they got caught doing something and that is (on the surface) why she got reassigned.

Elise is going to be a more young and cute little sister than anything. She may be a bit puzzled that “Corrin” seems more interested in boys then she did before she got sick. I like to think that Elise ‘visiting every day’ had a heavy impact on Corrin’s morality and this may be something that Charlotte will find hard to replicate.

The Hoshidan royals will retain many of their characteristics. However:

Ryouma and Hinoka are so overjoyed that Corrin was willing to return at MacCarth not only because they love and remember her, but because it absolves each of something they perceive as a personal failure (that she left Hoshido after returning, for Ryouma; that she hadn’t been directly saved by Hinoka’s hand, for Hinoka.) They are also happy to get Azura back, having both been upset at what happened to her when the war began.

Takumi is deep under Iago’s possession by the time that Charlotte and Azura return with Ryouma. It is possible that he will attack the fleeing Hoshidan party in the escape tunnels and *that* will be where Charlotte and Azura are able to realize what is wrong / save him. When he comes to he may even initially mistake them for prisoners or enemy combatants since they were both working with Nohr last he saw them / realistically remembers. Even after he’s been caught up on events, there’s little doubt he’ll remain suspicious (and his usually cheery, social self *lol*) until they can convince him they are legitimately on his side.

Sakura may get some brief screen time with Silas, who will likely join the Hoshidans either later than in normal routes or along with Azura as part of “Corrin’s” group that leaves with Ryouma. (The latter route would be less of a headache, but the former route is likely more believable.) The reason I want to do that is so that Sakura can have some insight into someone from Nohr that may prove helpful when the truth about Charlotte is eventually brought to light.

What is Garon, Mikoto, Lilith or any other important character all about?

Garon is human. Iago is a priest of the Dragon God and has exceptional magic powers, only surpassed (possibly) by Leo. Iago and Garon have a bit of a Jafar / Sultan relationship, except that Garon is strong and militant and confident rather than playfully eccentric and naive, obviously. Lilith does not exist, nor does MyCastle. (The characters may have a base of some sort, though. I’ve actually thought of having them capture and occupy MacCarth thanks to the nudge they have received from Iago.) Mikoto has only had babies with Sumaragi.

What is Hydra all about (role in the plot)?

I have no idea who / what this is. I’m gonna guess it’s to do with Revelation, and if so it does not apply to my fic.

What changes will be made to minor characters?

Zola may or may not be partially responsible for Charlotte’s ability to look like Corrin. As mentioned earlier, I am hoping Flora will not take her life.

4. What notable changes would you make to the setting?

Nohr, Hoshido and the various tribes are what exist in the story world. There is no Revelations, as mentioned earlier. Nohr has resource issues between being militant, having inferior topography and having an overall lower quality of life for its average citizen than Hoshido does. (The polar divide is much greater; rich richer, poor poorer.) The fact that the country’s best medical facility is located at one of Garon’s holiday villas should state something of the state of Nohr. We’ll also likely get to see more of Krackenburg outside of the royal part since that’s where Charlotte’s family is from.

What ideas do you have for world building?

In Nohr it’s more common to be a fighter than a farmer. What food does exist tends to be increased via magic to attempt to feed the general populace, but this lowers the overall quality of nutrition and can have ‘other’ side effects if the king / his advisors feel that population problems are happening. This is more common than one would think, especially using things that target the elderly, since (still finalizing this) it takes the soul of a living creature to make a faceless. (Not sure if that creature has to be human or not. Still toying with this idea.)

Hoshido does not have the same type of population problems because properly in Hoshido is passed down by heritage. Unless you marry in or can get someone to sell you land (good luck—remember, these people are wary of outsiders) the number of people who are sharing a set area tends to remain fairly consistent. This, combined with fertile ground, respect for that fertile ground (no dark magic here, for instance) and generally wise decisions about resource management have made Hoshido prosperous above and beyond its needs.

E.g. Poverty and hunger like Charlotte likely experienced is something Takumi wouldn’t even be able to begin to fathom because of the close knit yet closed nature of the society he grew up in. I’m even tempted to have Mikoto’s spell not only repel the will to fight but the very will to enter Hoshido without a valid reason for doing so. Even if Mikoto didn’t start her life there (haven’t decided yet) she still might have adapted to this part of Hoshidan culture either willingly or under pressure after Sumaragi’s death / Corrin’s kidnapping.

What kind of history does this continent have?

Roughly 300 years ago a prince of Hoshido was to marry a princess of Nohr. But on the night their betrothal was to be made final the princess was found dead in her guest chamber, a poisoned dagger in her back. Despite the weapon type, the Nohrians were convinced she was assassinated by a Ninja since the Hoshidans had declined allowing her butler or maid to accompany her, instead choosing to provide carers of their own. In truth, the Nohrians were correct. An important Hoshidan family had sent one of their own to remove the unwanted future queen, all in a plot to pave the way for one of their own daughters to become the new queen. The truth of this, however, was never confirmed or acknowledged by the Hoshidan royals. They were deeply offended that the Nohrians would make such assumptions and, feeling slighted, the loss of trade between the two nations began while the militant nature of Nohr found its roots here. (Ideas? I just made all of this up at 7 a.m.)

What is the balance of natural and supernatural elements?

There are supernatural items and skills, but those responsible for the key elements of the story will all be true people, not evil dragons lurking in the shadows. As it stands, my primary villain is currently Iago. I’m not sure where Leo is going to wind up in this plot. Garon is far from a saint, but he’s not the big bad. Hans, despite being what he is, will actually be used to show Charlotte what she could become if she lets greed or lust for power overrule being a decent person and knowing the value of her own heart.

Are the Faceless and invisible enemies in your story?

Faceless yes, as I explained above. Invisible enemies may work as illusions for the Rainbow Sage, but I doubt we’ll see them outside of that. I’m hoping he’ll be able to help Charlotte understand her Fate Stone and give her some advice. (He sorta put me in mind of a Yoda type in both stories, so I’m looking forward to utilizing him.)

5. Do any characters die? Besides Mikoto and the ones who are dead already?

I haven’t decided this yet. It will depend on what the story needs. Benny or Effie may die if they end up being Charlotte’s sibling and I end up using them the way I have considered doing.

6. Do you introduce any new characters?

We’ll get to potentially meet Charlotte’s parent(s). I still haven’t given that too much thought, though, since I haven’t totally committed either way to that idea.

7. Are any characters going to be cut?

I’m moreso the type of writer who will pick who I want / need / choose to use, rather than considering who I’m going to ignore. Outside of Royal Siblings, Azura, Charlotte and villains, other characters will show up as they fit the story.

Thanks for taking a look. :)

Edited by Katryn
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I have this idea where the story takes place in a era when Nohr conquered Hoshido before the Avatar was born. This takes inspiration from an idea I think Neko Knight shared at one point in that, Nohr is currently an occupying force and the Hoshidans are a rebel cell group. However, the tragedy is that this is how the avatar has always grown up thinking that's the way life is an has had no part in the conflict up to this point.

There would be no involvement of the invisible kingdom or dragon god dad either, I don't wanna have to deal with that. For the most part Garon would act less like a cartoon villain and more like an oppriseve Caesar trying to hold together a dying/expanding empire. Add to that the civil war tensions of those that would put Xander or one of the other princes on the throne and the Hoshido liberation movement that's using increasingly bold and or brutal tactics to overthrow the occupation and you've got a powder keg.

Also a more tame idea I had would be a one shot where basically some fates characters goes to an out realm that's basically Las Vegas. Only thing I'm set on as far as plot is that Percy and F!Kanna will try and sneak into a casino and take advantage of Percy's Lucky streaks. Other than that... maybe an appearance by the Rat Pack

That sounds really good. But I have to ask what the Hoshidan Royals are doing during that occupation? Presumably they're the rebel leaders, but you never know.

I really want to see that Vegas one-shot though.

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A small update of what I'm working on. Here's the character bios of the Nohrian and Hoshido royals.

[spoiler=Characters]

Garon Tenebris, King of Nohr

Age: 56 Class: Dark Lord

Subordinates: Iago and Ganz

A dark and brooding man who has ruled over Nohr for 30 years. An even-handed king in earlier days, he has since resorted to crueler methods of control as Nohr’s condition continues to worsen. He once had many more children but now only 4 of them still live.

Marx Tenebris, First Prince of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Queen Ecatarina

Age: 29 Class: Paladin

Subordinates: Lazlo and Pieri (toned down characterization)

A stoic and dutiful man, he is the pinnacle of knightly virtues. He believes family is more important than anything so he will compromise his other values if it means securing the future of his house. As the oldest of his siblings, he remembers his father as a kinder man and is the most loyal to him.

Camilla Tenebris, First Princess of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Shiva

Age: 23 Class: Revenant Knight

Subordinates: Selena and Belka

While sweet and motherly to her younger siblings, she is vicious and uncompromising on the battlefield. She has a special talent for political affairs and is often assigned diplomatic missions by King Garon. She had many suitors but rejected them all saying “I already have the person I love”. She's often not far from a wine glass.

Leon Tenebris, Second Prince of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Ellia

Age: 15 Class: Dark Knight

Subordinates: Charlotte and Benny

A genius mage who was admitted into the Sorcerers Guild at the tender age of 10. Tactics is his strong suit and his coldly pragmatic attitude often puts him at ends with his more empathetic older sister Kamui. He is an only child and had the best upbringing amongst his siblings.

Elise Tenebris, Second Princess of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Jasmine

Age: 12 Class: Troubadour

Subordinates: Harold and Elfie.

A bright and cheerful girl, she is the youngest child of King Garon. Often neglected by her mother, she makes trips to Nohr’s undercity to play. She wants to do her best to support her siblings but occasionally worries she isn’t needed. Her dream is to become a talented healer so she can help even more people.

Kamui (Hoshimoto) Tenebris, Second Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: Lord Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 16 Class: Nohrian Princess

Subordinates: Joker and Gunter

Born in Hoshido and raised in Nohr, Kamui never belonged to a single world. She cares deeply about her sibling and is the first to defend them when trouble arises. She is a compassionate and merciful, but her naiveté occasionally puts herself and others in danger. One day she will make a decision that will change her fate forever.

Yamato Mikoto, Empress of Hoshido

Age: 41 Class: War Priestess

Subordinates: Orochi and Yukimura

A beautiful and serene looking woman, she manages the ritual affairs of Hoshido’s government. After an event that led to the death of her husband and kidnapping of her child, she rarely smiles. She loves her children dearly and would do anything to protect them.

Hoshimoto Ryoma, First Son of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 25 Class: Swordmaster

Subordinates: Saizo and Kagero

Passionate and fierce, he is a warrior or peerless skill. He has harbored a deep grudge against Nohr ever since the murder of his father and abduction of his sister. Though he strives for spiritual purity, his emotions sometimes get the better of him. He is stern supporter of Hoshido’s social order.

Hoshimoto Hinoka, First Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 20 Class: Sky Knight

Subordinates: Setsuna and Asama

Taking after her older brother, and contrary to the expectations of Hoshidan female royalty, she is a dedicated warrior. Ever since her sister Kamui was kidnapped, she has trained diligently as a Sky Knight to get her back. She detests court politics and dressing up.

Hoshimoto Takumi, Second Son of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 15 Class: Archer

Subordinates: Oboro and Hinata

An occasionally brash and reckless young man, he often fears he won’t live up to the potential of his older siblings. He is slow to trust people and isn’t shy to say who he doesn’t like. Despite his flaws, he is a talented with a bow and his passion for his comrades and country earned him the respect of his soldiers.

Hoshimoto Sakura, Third Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 13 Class: Priestess

Subordinates: Tsubaki and Kazahana

Reserved and wise beyond her years, she takes after her mother more than any of her other siblings. She was only a baby when an incident threw her family into chaos. Though not a natural fighter like her older siblings, she is a pillar of strength to the family, being there to remind them when they forget themselves. Her sweetness hides a steely resolve.

Details: Garon had a grand total of 16 children between several women. 3 with his queen and 13 with various concubines. 12 of them die by the time the story starts.

King Sumeragi and all of his children are from Hoshido's most prominent clan. Mikoto carries the name of the imperial family and the title of Empress.

Here is a timeline of the main events in the Conquest story. I'm using Kamui's birth as a point of reference and jokingly calling the events before his birth "Before Kamui Era".

[spoiler=Timeline]

BKE 20: Garon marries Ecaterina

BKE 13: Marx is born.

BKE 11: Ecaterina killed in a failed coup d’état by Garon’s brother.

BKE 8: Sumeragi marries Mikoto. Ryoma is born.

BKE 7: Camilla is born.

BKE 4: Hinoka is born.

Year 0: Kamui is born. First Nohr-Hoshido war begins.

Year 1: Leon and Takumi are born.

Year 2: Marx’s two elder brothers are killed in combat.

Year 3: Sakura is born.

Year 4: Sumeragi is killed in Chevalier. Kamui is kidnapped by Garon. First Nohr-Hoshido war ends in stalemate. Elise is born.

Year 6: Concubine war begins.

Year 11: Concubine wars end. Elise, Leon and Camilla are the only surviving concubine mothered children.

Year 12: King of Chevalier passes away. Blight starts to spread in Nohr.

Year 16: Mikoto is assassinated. Second Nohr-Hoshido war begins.

Year 17: Second Nohr-Hoshido war ends with Hoshido conquered.

Year 18: Chevalier, Muse and Nortudea conquered by Nohr. Hoshidan insurgency intensifies. Kamui starts rebellion.

Year 19: Garon is overthrown by Norhian rebels. Nohr-Hoshido war ends and a peace treaty is signed. Marx is crowned King of Nohr.

The main events in the story (and before the story) are:

-The attempted coup by Garon's younger brother.

-The first Nohr-Hoshido war.

-The king of Chevalier's treachery and the assassination of King Sumeragi by King Garon.

-Kamui's abduction.

-The concubine wars.

-The assassination of Empress Mikoto and the start of the second Nohr-Hoshido war.

Edited by NekoKnight
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A small update of what I'm working on. Here's the character bios of the Nohrian and Hoshido royals.

[spoiler=Characters]

Garon Tenebris, King of Nohr

Age: 56 Class: Dark Lord

A dark and brooding man who has ruled over Nohr for 30 years. An even-handed king in earlier days, he has since resorted to crueler methods of control as Nohr’s condition continues to worsen. He once had many more children but now only 4 of them still live.

Marx Tenebris, First Prince of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Queen Ecatarina

Age: 29 Class: Paladin

A stoic and dutiful man, he is the pinnacle of knightly virtues. He believes family is more important than anything so he will compromise his other values if it means securing the future of his house. As the oldest of his siblings, he remembers his father as a kinder man and is the most loyal to him.

Camilla Tenebris, First Princess of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Shiva

Age: 23 Class: Revenant Knight

While sweet and motherly to her younger siblings, she is vicious and uncompromising on the battlefield. She has a special talent for political affairs and is often assigned diplomatic missions by King Garon. She had many suitors but rejected them all saying “I already have the person I love”. She's often not far from a wine glass.

Leon Tenebris, Second Prince of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Ellia

Age: 15 Class: Dark Knight

A genius mage who was admitted into the Sorcerers Guild at the tender age of 10. Tactics is his strong suit and his coldly pragmatic attitude often puts him at ends with his more empathetic older sister Kamui. He is an only child and had the best upbringing amongst his siblings.

Elise Tenebris, Second Princess of Nohr

Parents: King Garon and Lady Jasmine

Age: 12 Class: Troubadour

A bright and cheerful girl, she is the youngest child of King Garon. Often neglected by her mother, she makes trips to Nohr’s undercity to play. She wants to do her best to support her siblings but occasionally worries she isn’t needed. Her dream is to become a talented healer so she can help even more people.

Kamui (Hoshimoto) Tenebris, Second Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: Lord Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 16 Class: Nohrian Princess

Born in Hoshido and raised in Nohr, Kamui never belonged to a single world. She cares deeply about her sibling and is the first to defend them when trouble arises. She is a compassionate and merciful, but her naiveté occasionally puts herself and others in danger. One day she will make a decision that will change her fate forever.

Yamato Mikoto, Empress of Hoshido

Age: 41 Class: War Priestess

A beautiful and serene looking woman, she manages the ritual affairs of Hoshido’s government. After an event that led to the death of her husband and kidnapping of her child, she rarely smiles. She loves her children dearly and would do anything to protect them.

Hoshimoto Ryoma, First Son of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 25 Class: Swordmaster

Passionate and fierce, he is a warrior or peerless skill. He has harbored a deep grudge against Nohr ever since the murder of his father and abduction of his sister. Though he strives for spiritual purity, his emotions sometimes get the better of him. He is stern supporter of Hoshido’s social order.

Hoshimoto Hinoka, First Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 20 Class: Sky Knight

Taking after her older brother, and contrary to the expectations of Hoshidan female royalty, she is a dedicated warrior. Ever since her sister Kamui was kidnapped, she has trained diligently as a Sky Knight to get her back. She detests court politics and dressing up.

Hoshimoto Takumi, Second Son of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 15 Class: Archer

An occasionally brash and reckless young man, he often fears he won’t live up to the potential of his older siblings. He is slow to trust people and isn’t shy to say who he doesn’t like. Despite his flaws, he is a talented with a bow and his passion for his comrades and country earned him the respect of his soldiers.

Hoshimoto Sakura, Third Daughter of Sumeragi

Parents: King Sumeragi and Empress Mikoto

Age: 13 Class: Priestess

Reserved and wise beyond her years, she takes after her mother more than any of her other siblings. She was only a baby when an incident threw her family into chaos. Though not a natural fighter like her older siblings, she is a pillar of strength to the family, being there to remind them when they forget themselves. Her sweetness hides a steely resolve.

Details: Garon had a grand total of 16 children between several women. 3 with his queen and 13 with various concubines. 12 of them die by the time the story starts.

King Sumeragi and all of his children are from Hoshido's most prominent clan. Mikoto carries the name of the imperial family and the title of Empress.

Here is a timeline of the main events in the Conquest story. I'm using Kamui's birth as a point of reference and jokingly calling the events before his birth "Before Kamui Era".

[spoiler=Timeline]

BKE 20: Garon marries Ecaterina

BKE 13: Marx is born.

BKE 11: Ecaterina killed in a failed coup d’état by Garon’s brother.

BKE 8: Sumeragi marries Mikoto. Ryoma is born.

BKE 7: Camilla is born.

BKE 4: Hinoka is born.

Year 0: Kamui is born. First Nohr-Hoshido war begins.

Year 1: Leon and Takumi are born.

Year 2: Marx’s two elder brothers are killed in combat.

Year 3: Sakura is born.

Year 4: Sumeragi is killed in Chevalier. Kamui is kidnapped by Garon. First Nohr-Hoshido war ends in stalemate. Elise is born.

Year 6: Concubine war begins.

Year 11: Concubine wars end. Elise, Leon and Camilla are the only surviving concubine mothered children.

Year 12: King of Chevalier passes away. Blight starts to spread in Nohr.

Year 16: Mikoto is assassinated. Second Nohr-Hoshido war begins.

Year 17: Second Nohr-Hoshido war ends with Hoshido conquered.

Year 18: Chevalier, Muse and Nortudea conquered by Nohr. Hoshidan insurgency intensifies. Kamui starts rebellion.

Year 19: Garon is overthrown by Norhian rebels. Nohr-Hoshido war ends and a peace treaty is signed. Marx is crowned King of Nohr.

The main events in the story (and before the story) are:

-The attempted coup by Garon's younger brother.

-The first Nohr-Hoshido war.

-The king of Chevalier's treachery and the assassination of King Sumeragi by King Garon.

-Kamui's abduction.

-The concubine wars.

-The assassination of Empress Mikoto and the start of the second Nohr-Hoshido war.

Fun fact: I didn't realise at first that the timeline represented the entire plot and wondered why Xander was mentioned as being loyal to Garon when it ended with Garon being overthrown.

Anyway, that looks pretty solid. I'll wait for you to go into further detail before asking any more questions.

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Fun fact: I didn't realise at first that the timeline represented the entire plot and wondered why Xander was mentioned as being loyal to Garon when it ended with Garon being overthrown.

Anyway, that looks pretty solid. I'll wait for you to go into further detail before asking any more questions.

Feel free to ask questions about things that interest you.

I'll probably write up the bios for the other principle Nohrian characters soon.

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If some Fates characters are going Viva Las Vegas... I'm wondering, should it be a small group of around six or a larger one perhaps in the double digits... Also should I just call it Vegas or just have the serial numbers filed off with a generic name for some reason I have a hard time imagining Vegas without the strip and the strip without cars. Explaining cars to medieval age folks doesn't sound like something i want to do... Maybe i'm getting too bogged down in the details.

Also, who sounds more classic Vegas, Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra , Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford) Or The one and Only King (Elvis Presley) and on that note who would probably do a better duet with Azura?

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@ Jankmaster: You have my sympathy with the car thing. How are you planning to get them to Vegas? Have you considered other things that they will find confusing? Remember, also, that they don't necessarily need to know *what* a car is and *how* it works initially. They could, for instance, experience the "thrill" of a taxi or a bus. One of the best uses for fish out of water scenarios is to describe not what we, the audience, know something to be. Rather, describe it in such a way that we can realize what it is, but that what we experience is how it is for your characters. Or you could have Leo make mini transportation stones that will let them get back to their hotel, having *him* unintentionally experience a car ride and end up car sick and going "nope". Or you could allow them to be able to read a tourist guide and have someone end up interested in 'our world specific' items like cars and make it a running joke. It really depends on what kind of tone and flavor you are going for.

As for the Rat Pack vs. Elvis, both are great choices! I think one of the key things to consider is how you want the music / music icon(s) of Vegas that you choose to influence your story. Is there going to be part of the plot that ties into this? Is it more something you want to add as a reference for ambience and detail? In my opinion, the Rat Pack are more old school class whereas Elvis was more progressive and ushered in a new era of sound. Heck, maybe you could use both to parallel the Hoshidan and Nohrrian characters you pick? Or maybe they could subvert what people might expect them to like? Is someone an oddball who skips these and goes for Britany Spears or Celine Dion, causing everyone else to facepalm? *laughs*

** As for my own story **... The thing I'm having the hardest time with is figuring out *what* happened to Corrin (I don't think she's dead--all evidence points to a mage needing their illusion target alive) and *how* Charlotte has been or will be able to fool Xander & co. I can see her fooling the Hoshidans, and Garon & co. know who she really is. But how to make the part with the Nohr sibs work is giving me a bit of a migraine.

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Is there anyone here who has submitted their work somewhere public where we can read them? I'd be interested in seeing people's ideas in practice.

Dameceles has some actual writings on her website here.

Edited by NekoKnight
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Dameceles has some actual writings on her website here.

Thanks, I'll have a look later this evening.

Uh...there sure seems to be a lot of sexual content there given the tags. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Edited by Thane
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Thanks, I'll have a look later this evening.

Uh...there sure seems to be a lot of sexual content there given the tags. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Haha, how prudish Thane-kun. This is the first time I looked at the tags. Sorry for the smut.

I take it you are looking for a more political story, but alas, I don't know to whom to direct you. Hopefully other authors will be stepping up to the plate and publishing their works soon. I'll be more active in posting my scripts too, for whatever that is worth.

Edited by NekoKnight
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Haha, how prudish Thane-kun. This is the first time I looked at the tags. Sorry for the smut.

I take it you are looking for a more political story, but alas, I don't know to whom to direct you. Hopefully other authors will be stepping up to the plate and publishing their works soon. I'll be more active in posting my scripts too, for whatever that is worth.

I'm looking forward to it, Neko-senpai. If your story is as amusing as your posts tend to be here, then I'll definitely enjoy reading it.

But yes, something a bit more political would be nice - again, I don't mind smut or sex, but considering all those tags, that seemed to be the focus, which, again, wasn't what I had in mind.

I mean, unless it's about Ophelia or Velour, obviously.

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So I have an idea for one, not sure I will ever get to writing it, but it would actually require a bit of adding onto Nohr's history. As I have brought up before in a few posts, I came up with the idea of Nohr ans specifically King Garon being a very broken person/kingdom. The old Nohr used to be your typical knight in shining armor, paladins, priests, Camelot type situation. The difference is they still used the black, gold, and white colors that Nohr still uses, based off of the whole Dusk Dragon thing, which never gets explained in Fates as far as I know. So I am going to establish a bit of the timeline I have.

Nohr is founded by a person only known as the Dusk Dragon in the official records. It is known that the royal family can be traced back to him. that he had draconic powers of some kind, and that he had enough power to be able to change the land as he wanted. His motivations for founding Nohr is unknown, but he is regarded as the first King of Nohr after uniting the various tribes of humans in the area under his rule. It is unknown just how long he reigned as king, and for how long he lived, but it is thought to be around the first 100 years of Nohr's existence. He had tought the people how to harvest the resources in their area between the plentiful ore in the ground, and the fertile lands on top. Nohr during his rule becomes a prospering kingdom. After what is believed to be 100 years, he appoints a new king, Theo Draconius, and disappears. Theo was given the powers of the Dragon Vein by the Dusk Dragon, and was capable of the same land changing that the Dusk Dragon was.

During Theo's rule he establishes an order called the Knights of Dusk, named after their founder and previous king. The order was founded as defenders of the King, the people, and the country. They were given the mission to defend the land from threats that normal soldiers could not, with their leader being Paladin Feldrith Trex. Over the 60 years of Theo's rule, the Knights become well established in the land, with many tales of their feats of strength and courage being popular stories told at taverns by the bards. At the end of the 60 years of Theo's rule, his son, Garon is crowned as king. During this time the Knights of Dusk are seen wielding a new power, a type of magic seemed to be wielding pure light that damages foes and heals allies. Most use the magic and store it through staves for purposes of healing, but some in the order were capable of wielding it with devastating capabilities. These new wielders of what is now called Light Magic are called Crusaders, and become a staple of the Knights forces. I also want to touch heavily on all the light magic, why the crusaders are the only ones that can wield it without use of staves and in offensive forms, and the origins behind it all.

After about 20 years of Garon's rule a new kingdom is encountered by the name of Hoshido. Nohr extends a hand of peace to Hoshido, and all seems to be going well. Diplomatic talks begin between the two kingdoms, trade begins, and the two seem to enter into a state of peace. This lasts for about 5 years until Hoshido back-stabs Nohr. Hoshido starts war between the two unprovoked and attacks a series of Nohrian villages rich with resources. War starts between the two as the fledgling kingdom of Hoshido looks to show its newfound strength by conquering a nearby kingdom. This is where the knights true power come to fruition as they are recorded as being able to hold the main port city of Nohr with only 5 Crusaders, 10 Cavaliers, and 3 Priests. The total recorded number of casualties in this fight are 3 Cavaliers, 1 Crusader, and 150 Hoshidan soldiers before Hoshido retreats from the fight. Hoshido, learning the true capabilities of both the Nohrian army and their Knights, plans to try and cut the head off the snake. Using their Hoshidan Ninjas, they assassinate attempt to the leader of the Knights of Dusk, Arch-Priest Aetios Trex, and succeed in the assassination of the Queen of Nohr, Katarina.

After this change of events, the war takes a different turn. Nohr seems to pull back from fighting into Hoshidan territory,with their men demoralzied by what happened, and King Garon distraught over the loss of his wife. Hoshido has unforeseen consequences with their actions, with the Hoshidan people split in half, with some supporting the actions of the kingdom, and others being ashamed of what was done. It devolves into a civil war in Hoshido, with the "rebel" forces being lead by the Hoshidan Genaral Sumeragi. The rebel forces eventually take over the kingdom, and Sumeragi is crowned as the Hoshidan King.

Nohr at this time is trying to sort through what had just happened, as the Queen was assassinated. The army is demoralized as to how easy it was for these assassins to get through and kill the Queen, and the Knights are in dismay as their leader, Arch-Priest Aetios Trex, is critically wounded.

This starts a turning point for King Garon from the once pleasant man he seemed to be, to one filled with anger and vengeance. Over the next few years, Nohr starts to change. The army becomes more ruthless in their tactics, and the King starts showing dislike of the Knights. The Knights of Dusk are used less often, and often ordered by King Garon to remain inactive even when they are most needed. The higher ups such as the Nobles and the richer citizens become distrustful of the Knights to the point that they are not welcome at the same taverns that once told stories of their feats of strength.

King Garon puts the final nail in the coffin of the Knights by ordering their disbandment for their failure in performing their one mission given to them. The Knights resist the order, and reside in their keep. This starts the event in Nohrian History known as the Week of Blood. Garon starts a witch hunt against all Knights of the order, and orders all known members to be labelled as kill on sight. Across the entire nation known members are killed in the streets as fights break out between Nohrian forces and the knights that were once revered by the people. The leader of the Knights, Aetios Trex, sends his newborn daughter and a handful of the knights to Cheve to go into hiding. Before Duskfall keep, the Knights of Dusks main fortress, is attacked, he sends his newborn daughter and a handful of knights to go into hiding in Cheve, and orders 5 of the remaining 12 Crusaders to scatter across the land to go into hiding as well. On that Friday of the week, the keep is attacked. The Knights hold out for 2 days against the nohrian army before the walls are breached. All the Knights in the keep are killed, and the armor and weapons of Arch-Priest Aetios Trex are brought to Garon as a trophy.

I put the "timeline" into spoiler tags because of how long it is. Overall it would be about what the remaining members of the order I came up with, and where they go and what they do. Part of it would be about Scarlet, as her father was the last leader of the Knights of Dusk, making her the next in line as their leader. It gives an explanation as to why she is fighting against Nohr, and why Cheve is so much more competent compared to the other rebelling cities/tribes. So part of it would be about her and the remaining Knights there, including the one Crusader who went with her.

Another character it would touch on is Gunter, since he is one of the 5 Crusaders who go into hiding, but Gunter gets the idea of hiding right under Garon's nose, and influencing things there. One of them being training Garon's son Xander, and teaching him the ways of the order. It would also consist of a few created characters and where they go. I know one is planned to go into hiding in Hoshido, and is the one that gets Hoshido to contact Cheve. I am thinking of it being based heavily on the Revelation route, with part of it being the rise from the ashes type story for the knights. Like I said Scarlet wont get killed, and I am even thinking of having a one on one fight between her and Garon as kind of a poetic justice with Garon. Iago is getting changed a bit from just being a sorcerer, to being the Fire Emblem equivalent to a Blackguard or Illriger to be a nemesis to some of the Crusaders as he would be pretty much a corrupted version of one of them. I also want to touch heavily on all the light magic and why the crusaders are the only ones who can wield it both offensively, and without the use of staves, and how the Order came across it in the first place.

Edited by Tolvir
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I'm looking forward to it, Neko-senpai. If your story is as amusing as your posts tend to be here, then I'll definitely enjoy reading it.

But yes, something a bit more political would be nice - again, I don't mind smut or sex, but considering all those tags, that seemed to be the focus, which, again, wasn't what I had in mind.

I mean, unless it's about Ophelia or Velour, obviously.

The main fic of Dameceles's universe, Into a Walled Garden, is pretty much exactly what you're looking for. Very political, and amazing character explorations, especially for Marx/Xander and Hinoka. The side stories are where the smut happens, and even then they have very good characterization and lots of interesting worldbuilding. I highly recommend the AMOS series, even if you only read Into a Walled Garden.

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