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i understand you're being a cool alpha jock and i deeply respect that from the soul, but whether the games are good or not isn't even relevant

in 4chan, at least, i've seen people basically treat it like a meme, and afaik 4chan was a big contributor to the voting brigade to make nerds angry

Undertale at least should have won against mass effect and fallout

but not xenoblade

xenoblade losing first round to dkc2 is like the scourge of the earth

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Fuck, got me

since we're talking about video games, why do so many video games with bears have them do a really slow animated attack where they rear up and try to maul you with both paws, only it's stupid easy to dodge so bears aren't a threat? like bears are terrifying irl, why are they often a meat shielded pushover in video games...

I'm playing Yakuza 5 right now, which as it happens hits a nice balance while still also being appropriately ridiculous for a character-action Triple-Ay game, I think

The first time you encounter a bear it's played as one of those HOLY FUCK IT'S A BEAR moments which some fellas on tvtropes decided constitutes A Thing, and the player character (whose power level is around "action/drama legendary badass, albeit a mortal homo sapiens"), who happens to be caught out in the middle of the blizzard of the year while wearing mere corduroys, lets out an appropriately-heartfelt OH FUCK considering he's face to face with a bear literally twice his his height (which is way bigger than any kind of bear from Japan normally gets!). And this, among other things, is given additional weight by said pc being the biggest dude and biggest taker/dealer of Major Hurting in the main cast, like if he's going OH FUCK we know we best be going OH FUCK too

...And then he squares off against it in a fist fight, because what else is he gonna do.

It's cool though! Because the bear is a capital-b BOSS fight with twice the health of anything in the game up to that point, and while slower than a real bear would be/susceptible to the old easily dodged rear-up-on-hind-legs, slam-down-with-shockwave standby, it also has a charge that you actually have to kinda work at dodging, some up-close paw swipes that will floor you through your guard even at their weakest, and is resistant enough to hitstun that you have to whittle it down with flyby tackles to come out anything like unharmed, lest it toss you around with its jaws like a chewtoy.

Then when you finally complete the actually-cool-and-fun QTE, where your dude gets tossed into the air and comes down on the rumored man-eater with a FIGHTING SPIRITO overhead spike into its open maw to end the fight, (shut up its great), that doesn't knock it out, or even scar it; the bear just burns your dude's face into its memory and returns to the shadows. A minute after which your dude faints from exhaustion on the spot.

Later your dude gets taught stuff by hunters who actually know shit, and they're like "So that was pretty much the meanest bear that ever lived, and by rights there shouldn't be even a tiny piece of you still intact so we dunno what the fuck happened there, but even with normal bears you never fuck around. Don't even engage unless you- are you listening? Unless you HAVE to. And NEVER without a gun, holy shit are you completely out of your mind, fuck no not ever." And the game has a legit hunting min- actually minigame doesn't do it justice, it becomes like your dude's job, and the gameplay goes from running around a martial arts flick flattening dudes to this slow-paced, almost survivalist Red Dead Redemption kinda creeping through the snowy mountain woods, taking like ten seconds plus to line up a shot on animals deal. And even with your shotgun capable of one-shotting a bear if you do it right, meeting any bear is still a "shiiiiiit" kind of moment, because they're both legit threatening and can come running if they're in the area or even near it when you shoot something else. And if you ever meet the aforementioned Man Eater again, it escalates even further, from that to "MOUNTAIN'S CLOOOOOOSED [screeching]," with you wading awkwardly through the snow as fast as you can, all the way back down from the furthest ends of the hunting grounds just trying to avoid being eaten with it on your tail.

In summation I give Yakuza 5 an A minus regarding its depiction of bears in video games

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Undertale at least should have won against mass effect and fallout

but not xenoblade

xenoblade losing first round to dkc2 is like the scourge of the earth

idgi

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games i have played are better than games i have not played

therefore, i agree that dkc2 should beat xenoblade

i'm good at these contests

Edited by Specta
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And there's also Condemned 2, I think it was? Where a particularly fucked-up-looking and huge but otherwise normal bear is chasing you through a dark abandoned house, threatening insta-death

That might be the standard by which to judge, I think

Also, a thought: maybe a contributing factor to why bears aren't exploited to their full terror-inducing potential is their eyes- IMO they're not that immediately frightening until A) they're really pissed, and B) you're also close enough to them to notice "this thing is a LOT bigger than me, huh"

A lot of other animals used for horror with scary eyes have frightening visages in general, of course, but if a normal old bear had even just slightly bigger/more expressive eyes I think the impact would be huge

Their faces are like big fluffy rodent faces, though. Like they're our primary genre of stuffed animal. In person nobody wants to fuck with something that big but a miniature bear (hopefully also with less muscle mass period of course, in case any bear breeders who want to run with this idea happen to be reading) would be cute as hell

Edited by Rehab
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PS3, digital download! If somebody hasn't made a topic shilling for it yet, I should

Help convince them to bring Yakuza 0 over here, folks

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Undertale at least should have won against mass effect and fallout

but not xenoblade

xenoblade losing first round to dkc2 is like the scourge of the earth

don't sign your posts

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isn't coming already? (just ps4 and just na so far or something tho)

I'm not taking them at their word until the game is in my hands

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Hmm...so Undertale won as expected, now I got better things to do than watch people get salty about it.

So I'll just say congratulations to Toby Fox, you probably never expected this did you? No, and yet here we are, and your efforts were greatly rewarded. Undertale is not MY favorite game, far from it. But once again, congrats.

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