Tangerine Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) "Are you awake?" It was a soft, gentle inquiry, but the effect it had on the youth was wracking. Its echo pounded inside his skull, desperate to escape. "I found you unconscious on the plains. My name is Lyn, I'm from the Lorca tribe. It looks like you've taken a nasty hit to the head, but you're safe now." Ignoring the voice hadn't caused it to go away, and the slim hope that everything was just a bad dream that could be waited out was cruelly dashed. Opening his eyes and raising his body to a sitting position--was a huge mistake. The world was a flash of bright white and blue, and it swirled dizzyingly about him. The unmoving blur of tan and green barely served as a point of reference, something to focus on in an attempt to get his bearings. "Who are you? Where are your people? Can you remember what happened to you?" Fighting back the urge to retch, he blinked several times, and drew a deep, ragged breath. There was an unpleasant taste in his mouth, but swallowing brought a measure of relief. Raising his hand, he felt a sticky spot on the back of his head, which seemed to confirm the girl's words. But as he opened his mouth to respond, he realized he didn't have an answer for her. "I... my name is..." he croaked out, and frowned. Who was he, what was he doing here? "Oh, wait, is that it stitched into your clothes there? But such strange attire... let's see. It's hard to read, and... I've never heard anyone called that before, kind of odd for a name... But does that say 'Mark'?" Strange attire? He looked down at himself, then back at the girl. If anything, she was the one who didn't fit... or did she? His head still ached mercilessly, but he had to figure out what was going on. That name wasn't right, but it had to be close. Then, swift as a thunderbolt, something came to him. It was just a piece, certainly not the whole thing, but it was more than he'd had before. "Hawk. Not Mark, Hawk. I'm from... I'm sorry, I can't remember. Where are we?" Looking around at the surroundings filled him with a strange sense of wonder, and a vague disquiet. The surroundings were wide open plains, the tall grasses bending and swaying beneath the wind. No signs of civilization unless... "I see, Hawk, huh... That's a nice name, actually! But pay me no mind. You're in Sacae, and I frightened away the man who attacked you, but he might return with friends, so we should really hurry and get a move on. Let me take you home to my ger and we can speak more there. C'mon, let me help you up." "Ger?" The confused tone in his voice, and quizzical look he must have had on his face prompted a further explanation as she helped him to his feet and threw his arm over her shoulder so she could help support him. "That's the name for the type of small round hut my people build. It's not much, but since we're pretty nomadic that's to be expected. Still, it serves us well enough until the herds move and we have to follow after them." There was an oddly melancholy cast to the girl's voice as she explained this, but Hawk couldn't spare the effort to figure out why. His mind was too busy racing with its own questions, trying to solve the more pressing mysteries presented him. Namely, why he couldn't remember much of anything. "'ey boss, there she is. That's the bitch what got me interrupted," a crude voice from behind them broke apart the previous stillness of the plains. "Oho, is that so? Lil missy there's gotta be either pretty brave or pretty stupid to mess with Batta the Beast. Let's get 'er boys!" "What ill timing," the girl swore softly and swung her head around for a better look. "Three... four of them. If that's all they've brought, then I think I can handle them on my own, but I'm not sure I can keep you safe..." Her obvious concern made Hawk uncomfortable. He felt weak, useless. There had to be something he could do. "I... can help," he said, somewhat unconvincingly. "You're in no condition to fight," Lyn protested, "And you haven't even a weapon." She stepped aside, as he was attempting to shrug off her support, and gave him a disapproving look. "Not... fighting," Hawk tried to explain, but stopped when he realized he wasn't sure exactly what it was he'd had in mind. His right hand instinctively moved to the contraption he was wearing on his left wrist, as if perhaps that held some answers. "I give... orders?" It wasn't the most confident explanation of his abilities, and it might not even be correct, but it's all he could come up with. "So, you're a tactician? I guess that could be useful, but those bandits are closing fast and there aren't enough of them for tactics to really be an issue. Still, I appreciate the offer." She pulled out her sword as she talked, and tightened her sash to prepare for battle. Batta and his men were nearly upon them. Hawk couldn't argue against that, and frowned, watching the young girl turn to face their enemies alone, then returned to fiddling with the strange device. COMP ACTIVATED, strange blocky letters informed, scrolling across the surface. DEMON SUMMONING PROGRAM ENGAGED. What did that even mean? There was a strange crackling sound, and a flash of light, and the air felt strangely energized; all of his hairs must have been standing on end, then the odd sense of tension vanished and normality returned. Well, mostly. There was a strange creature standing a few paces in front of him. It had long, shrivelled limbs; a disproportionately large head; and an enormous, grossly distended belly. "Give Macca?" it crooned, and looked at Hawk expectantly. Just what in the-- "Heh, you think that thing can stand up to Batta the Beast?" Coarse laughter accompanied the whooshing sound of a swinging axe, cleaving through the air. There was a shriek as it barely clipped the grotesque creature, which immediately changed its attention from Hawk to Batta. "Give Macca?" it called out once again, before diving at the man in a whirlwind of flailing limbs. The spectacle was almost unbelievable, and Hawk would have been caught up in watching it, had a strong grip not tightened itself on his arm. "We have to run," Lyn hissed to him. "I don't know what that thing is, but it'll keep him busy, and that's all we need. I handled two of them, and the third fled, so if they manage to take care of each other that's all we could ask for. I'm going to have a lot more questions for you, though, when we get back to my ger, that's for sure." Hawk nodded mutely and let her drag him along across the plains. She wasn't the only one with questions, but she was probably the only one with any answers, and he hoped she wouldn't be too disappointed when she found that out. Edited February 2, 2016 by Balcerzak my name is magenta for a reason, threads must learn to fear me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peppermint_grinder Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) Ah Preta, eh? Should've nuked it with magic. I feel that your choice of tactician was excellent. If anything, there'll be a brutal clash between the Order of Etruria and Ring of Bern at some point. Would love to see more! Edited February 3, 2016 by peppermint_grinder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saisymbolic Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Ah, what we all thought SMT x FE was going to be. I'm torn between satisfaction that the game will be something unique but also a little disappointed because I wanted to see the FE characters' reaction towards Hitoshura, Serph and Raidou Kuzunoha. As for your piece of writing, I have to say I enjoyed it and I would love to see more outside of the contest. Hawk--he's the MC for SMT II, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 While I definitely can appreciate what this work is trying to do, it suffers from a number of flaws. More description is definitely necessary for the characters, especially if you're going to go the route you have, and introduce elements from SMT II, which many SF members probably have never played. Even for the FE elements though, we get barely more than names. Where are Batta's bulging biceps? All we get regarding Lyn is that she's a blob of green and tan. You can do better, man. Further, I mentioned this on Lissa Emblem and Do the Gods Listen, but here too it seems you're sticking dangerously close to source material text... well, at least up until you veer completely into left field and the SMT elements come into play. But definitely something to keep in mind. Aside from those, and it being altogether too short, kind of a cocktease of a piece really, I'm not sure what else to say about this. Keep writing, and share the rest, I guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guren808 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Would keep reading, man even this blows my entry out of the dust. I gotta step it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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