Tangerine Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 (edited) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NaKBqdq9OvWNEdrAFgB38J1erEraFvZRKjVGifFVoaA/edit?pref=2&pli=1 Edited February 1, 2016 by Tangerine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I really enjoyed this particular story! Jaffar & Nino are two of my favorite characters in Elibe and this did them justice :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kakeyo Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 This was super cute, it held my attention quite well too~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Water Mage Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 (edited) Nice, I liked your take on Jaffar on this story. Edited February 4, 2016 by Water Mage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciarre Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I really enjoyed this! Great job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Interceptor Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Very nice! I have a soft spot in my heart for this pair and it was great to see them represented so well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sword_of_Dusk Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 That was so, so good. One of the better works I've read in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 The writing is pretty good as others have pointed out, however I feel its a little lacking in the originality department. It's just a straight up adaptation from the game with little added. While that might make me sound harsh, I'm still probably going to vote for it in the first round because admittedly it was well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirRob Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Ooh, yes, this is brilliant. I love it. The original writing and motif is excellent. The writing is pretty good as others have pointed out, however I feel its a little lacking in the originality department. It's just a straight up adaptation from the game with little added. While that might make me sound harsh, I'm still probably going to vote for it in the first round because admittedly it was well done. Is it any different from an artist recreating a scene that happened in the game? I think expanding upon an event from the game and putting a fresh perspective on it has plenty of value to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 (edited) Ooh, yes, this is brilliant. I love it. The original writing and motif is excellent. Is it any different from an artist recreating a scene that happened in the game? I think expanding upon an event from the game and putting a fresh perspective on it has plenty of value to it. I'm not saying it lacks value, I did after all claim I plan to vote for it. A picture depicting a scene can give a fresh perspective but when it comes to something with a plot that's only half the battle (maybe even the more important and challenging half admittedly). How something is told also relies heavily on what is actually being told. In this instance I knew exactly how the whole story was going to develop and eventually end as well as a good sense of what the characters would be feeling. Likewise if someone just ported an already existing piece of artwork and only added their own brush style I'd feel somewhat less impressed than an original piece that only uses context as inspiration. Unless they do something particularly unexpected like making a mosaic. Edited February 6, 2016 by Jotari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meldorn Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Awesome job! A really solid entry; it's always fun to see a hardened soul like Jaffar be softened. You portrayed that transition very well, and in a surprisingly short amount of time, especially considering the fact that it didn't feel rushed. Nino was on point as well. In contrast to Jotari, I actually like that you used some lines from the game and expanded on them. As a reader, it makes me feel like you've done your research, and I really am experiencing an accurate representation of the world you're writing about. While using stories from the games themselves leaves a little to be desired in the originality department, through turning them into short stories you add a depth to them that simply isn't present or possible in the games. Great story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I do have misgivings along the lines of Jotari's, but I'm still pretty happy with this. I have to read other stories before I know I'll vote for it, but I have a pretty high opinion of this one and it'll be a serious contender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 This was really good, bruh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed. Given all the (I hesitate to call it this) hype around this entry, it felt a little ham-handed and I shared some of Jotari's concerns. I mean, there weren't any major flaws with the writing, but somehow I just wasn't wowed, like I have been with other entries. Still, a solid addition to the contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xaos Steel Wing Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Re-reading this, I really enjoyed it. It was nice to see one of the more interesting chapters in Blazing Sword from the other side. The way you portrayed Nino and Jaffar was spot on, there was some great characterization there. I only feel that when Nino comes back and says that there are some people that will help them, it just felt a little sudden. A very enjoyable, and emotional read overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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