Story It Never Occurred to Me to Give This a Title

[Tangerine]

It Never Occurred to Me to Give This a Title

It was a delightful Friday afternoon. I had planned on visiting my darling Lissa the following day
and I wanted to surprise her with a new tea recipe, so I decided to visit the market in town in
hopes of coming across something truly inspired. After shopping around for some time, I had
become plagued with indecision and I considered retiring for the day when I happened to spot
Frederick off in the distance perusing quite the colorful assortment of fabrics. Curious, I
sauntered towards him:

"Greetings, Frederick."
"Oh hello there, Maribelle."
"What brings you to the market so late at night?"
"I am preparing for tomorrow's dinner at the castle tomorrow evening. You will be attending,
correct?"
"Why of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Me neither. It's all the wife is talking about."
"Yes. How is "Little Miss Perfect" doing anyway?"
"Fantastic, thanks. In fact, we had the most wonderful argument yesterday."
"Wonderful?"

Before I could even ask him what the argument was about, he was already lost in his own inane
prattling. Apparently, Chrom had gotten a new cape recently and they were "bickering" about how
it looked on him. Cordelia said he looked charming in it, while Frederick insisted he looked
dashing.

*GRATUITOUS ARGUMENT DESCRIPTION SEGMENT*

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally concluded his narrative:

"... and that's when we agreed that he looks both charming AND dashing."
"While that was indeed riveting to listen to, I really must return to my original task. The day
is drawing to a close and I still need to grab what I came here for and take my leave."
"My apologies, milady. What have you come here for, if you don't mind my asking?"
"If you really must know, I am here in search of ingredients for a new Pumpkin Spice tea recipe I
was planning to try out tomorrow for the dinner."
"That sounds delicious. I would love to join you and the Princess for a taste test, but I am far
too busy, what with dinner preparations and laying out some new motivational poster designs. I've
been working tenfold to come up with a new way to honor milord since Chrom had asked me to remove
all traces of the previous one, save for one larger copy now hung over the mantle in the study at
home. You know, I don't quite understand why ..."
"Enough with all the Chrom talk. Is there anything in your list of conversational topics that
doesn't pertain to him?"
"Of course, milady. And aren't you one to talk? It seems you have the same admiration for the
Princess as I do milord Chrom."
"Hmph. I wouldn't possibly know what you're talking about."
"I once witnessed you staring at her for 20 minutes uninterrupted while she drank tea."
"And what is so wrong with that? I did not wish to bother her."
"You weren't even in the same room as her."
"Hmph. I've never been so insulted in my life."
"If you're so frustrated, then pick a gourd and pay. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be leaving."

For a moment, I WAS frustrated. I wanted nothing more than to give his backside a swift
introduction to my parasol. Then, I pondered for a brief second. I had to tell him something
before he left.

"Perhaps you are right. Maybe the admiration I have for my darling Lissa is on par with your
unusually strong devotion to Chrom. Why should that matter, though? Is it wrong to care for
someone so deeply? Truthfully, I respect you for being able to express your fondness so openly.
Even if it's just one person, if there were more people who thought the way you do then maybe we
wouldn't be in this horrid war in the first place."
"I'm flattered, milady. In all honesty, I feel the same way."

There was a brief silence. Both of us were unsure where to go from here. Then Frederick,
unsurprisingly, speaks again.

"You know. It was nice being able to talk with you. I wish we had more opportunities to talk like
this. Even if it's just us, it would be nice to have a place to talk about the people we care
for."
"As ridiculously idiotic as that sounds, I wouldn't object to the idea. Why stop at just us
though? We could create an outlet for the people of Ylisse to share their thoughts on the people
they admire. It could be our own little way to boost morale and the overall positivity around
here. It would be a much needed change to the mundanity brought about from the war."
"Excellent. But in order to start this project, it's going to need a catchy name."

*SORT OF GRATUITOUS BRAINSTORM SESH*

"How about Ylisseans United for the Care of our Kindred?"
"I couldn't have thought of a better name myself, milady."


"And at that moment, Y.U.C.K. was formed."
"Great. Nice to know, but that wasn't my question."
"My apologies, Tharja. What was it you wanted to know again?"
" ... Are you accepting new members?"
"Sorry. I can't understand you."
"I said Are you accepting new members?"
"Oh. Of course we are. New members are always welc-"
"Hush. I hear something."
"Why, I never!"
"Robin's coming. I must go now."
"Wait up! Are you joining or not?"
...
"It seems like she left then."
"... I'll be here next Thursday."

Edited February 1, 2016 by Tangerine

[Jotari]

Okay, haven't read this yet but I think I can safely give it the reward for best title.

[Sword_of_Dusk]

Pick a gourd and pay was the best line in the story.

[Balcerzak]

*GRATUITOUS COMMENTS AND CRITICISMS*

[Meldorn]

Pick a gourd and pay was the best line in the story.

*in the contest