Tangerine Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dQWezQpURcWjdXkLKoJxh9qBea9LBK5q0ZtiDSFE5zg/edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I really, REALLY want to read this story. However, I'm kinda having problems with the font. Can it be changed to something a little less, uh, ornate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
False Prophet Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 The writing shows potential, but I think there are more that could had been done with the arrangement and the pacing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balcerzak Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) With some heavy editing and revisions, I could see this shaping up nicely, but as it is it still has a long way to go, in my opinion. Don't be discouraged though, and keep working at it! Edited February 5, 2016 by Balcerzak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 YES I CAN READ THIS NOW! I think Dozla's the best out of the three, in terms of what I remember from FE8 supports. The premise has promise, though, and some grammatical polish and research into how/why the characters express themselves would make this something interesting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jotari Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Be careful with run on sentences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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