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Alastor15243

Dakota's War Journal (Semiblind Fire Emblem Fates RP/LP) (Send me your castles!)

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33 members have voted

  1. 1. What should I do about covering the Paralogues?

    • Cover all of them
      12
    • Only cover the ones relevant to Dakota or that you feel you can do something interesting with
      21
    • Don't cover any of them
      0
  2. 2. What should I be able to edit about my character in Conquest/Revealtion?

    • Boon/Bane, but not Talent
      0
    • Talent, but not Boon/Bane
      3
    • Both
      4
    • Neither
      1
    • Do what you like
      21
  3. 3. Should I use the path bonus items?

    • Yes
      24
    • No
      5


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Hello, and welcome to the thread for my semiblind ironman Let's Play / Roleplay of all three paths of Fire Emblem Fates for the 3DS. This screenshot let's play is done in the style of a magical war journal written by the main character, Dakota.

Who exactly is Dakota?

Dakota is a rather unlikely hero: a creepily pragmatic, eugenics-obsessed, megalomaniacal, narcissistic, borderline-sociopathic, socially inept control freak with basically only one redeeming quality: their genuine love for the select few people who manage to get close to their heart. Their motivations are not quite as noble as the canon avatar, though there's no lack of drive to accomplish them, and there is some humanity in there somewhere.

What do you mean by "Semiblind"?

Basically, I've been super hyped for this game, so I have checked out the wiki for certain stuff. I know most of the basic classes and skills, and a handful of the new basic weapons (though I have not read up at all on the metagame and thus only have my 12 years of experience playing Fire Emblem to work out which of them are and aren't useful), I've seen Nintendo's site and know about all the characters and information/videos listed there, but when it comes to anything beyond that, the rest of the characters, the maps, the story, I am almost totally blind. Almost.

What I know:

Spoiler

 

Though this is mostly due to having eyes, I know the true identities of Odin, Laslow and Selena and I know that Rhajat exists and she's apparently Tharja's reincarnation, I know that future children exist (though I don't know why or by what mechanism), I know of two of them, Rhajat and Soleil, and certain signatures on this site have spoiled the appearances of two more, one who looks like Cordelia and one who appears to be Azura's son.

...Also... due to an extremely inconsiderate TVTropes editor who made a totally pointless edit to the YMMV Fire Emblem Jugdral page after I managed to avoid story spoilers for seven goddamned months, I've had it spoiled for me that somebody named Flora dies, and by the context of that edit I'm assuming she gets burnt alive.

 

 

How will this work?

Basically Dakota will go through Birthright first and Conquest second, with Revelation being third. Dakota's gender will also go by the covers of the two games. Dakota will be male in Birthright, Female in Conquest, and whichever I decide I prefer in Revelation. Here are the designs i came up with for Male and Female Dakota using the Serenes Forest "Kamui Editor":

Male:

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Female:

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As for the rules I'll be using in this LP:

I'll use every non-dlc trick available to me that I can discover in both versions, but I'm not allowed to reset unless the game forces me to for losing an important character or failing the mission, and I cannot abuse this to force a reset to get a lost character back. I may also exploit the fact that I still have my original 3DS (and that I'm buying physical copies of both versions for collecting reasons) to self-streetpass if I can come up with an interesting thing storywise to do with it (and boy do I think I can). Also, while I won't be using DLC, I'll be using the amiibo because I have them, and because they add characters I feel I can do interesting things with.

I update every day but thursday, some time around 6 eastern standard time, though the length of the battle means this can vary, and you can expect later updates the further into each path I get.

Is there reader participation?

YES! As of Conquest, I've decided to start using the castle visiting feature, but I've decided that I won't visit random castles. I'll only be able to access the ones that are sent to me. I haven't fully worked it out because I'm trying to avoid spoilers so I don't want to look up much, but here's my card:

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Just punch this address in and visit my castle, and then you'll be on my visit list and I'll visit you back. You might even make a cameo appearance in the series!

Edited by Alastor15243

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Alright, with Fates coming out tomorrow and my copy arriving some time tomorrow morning/afternoon, you can expect the first entry of this series tomorrow evening at the latest!

Edited by Alastor15243

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...Oh. Wow. God Damn. Sorry I haven't posted like I promised, I just got waaaaaaay too wrapped up in the story of the first few chapters of the game and in trying to get my bearings of the world to see how I should write Dakota. Seriously, I had almost forgotten what a gripping Fire Emblem story felt like. The opening chapters were so short and the story so compelling I honestly couldn't bring myself to write in between each one of them and ruin the experience. I have two options: I can start over from the beginning and give up the blindness of the first 9 chapters for the sake of coherency, or... I can try to write out some kind of summary of my experience of the first day playing the game and sacrifice detail for the first 9 chapters. Detail or blindness, I have to give up one. Any preferences from anyone?

Also, I've decided I'll have to tweak Dakota bit and give him a few more redeeming qualities, as the Fates avatar is far too kindhearted to allow a total asshole Dakota to work with the plot, particularly with the end result of chapter 2. I figure for all of his obnoxious narcissism and arrogance, he has absolutely no stomach whatsoever for hurting the innocent or watching them suffer.

Any thoughts? I'll take them into consideration and re-attempt this tomorrow.

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Alright, Finally it's time!

Dakota's War Journal

Book 1: Birthright

Entry 1

Testing, testing...

Splendid! It works! Leo is a genius!

Well then...

Hello, my new inanimate paper and leather friend. Allow me to introduce myself. This is a picture of me:

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Oh yes baby, you are not hallucinating. Such a magnificent specimen truly does exist. I can also twitch my pointy ears and go “rawr rawr” for you if you really want me to, sweetheart.

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I am Prince Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr, middle child of the Nohr royal family, brilliant tactical mind waiting to be properly acknowledged, and single sexiest beast in the country.

You, my friend, are a book. But of course, surely you already knew that.

Or not.

Because you're a book.

Details.

But your are not just any book: more specifically, you will serve as my war journal as I begin what shall be my grand legacy as the single greatest individual this country, nay, the world, has ever seen. Even as we speak the magic my younger brother Leo infused you with hears the sound of my melodious voice and tattoos everything I say into your papery flesh. As soon as I complete my training under my dearest elder brother Xander, I shall leave this bleak accursed fortress, and you will record my legendary thoughts, thoughts too revolutionary and dangerous for even my own mind to contain, as I seek out my destiny and conquer the land of the wretched weeaboo savages! Further details to follow.

...Quick update: it turns out, according to Xander, that it is technically physically conceivable that you will in fact not be recording my grand legacy outside this fortress, as apparently, if I fail Xander's test this ungodly morning, I shall never leave this fortress. So either I win and you will record my legendary yada yada yada, or I lose.

You'll know which it is in about an hour or so.

You'll be able to tell by whether or not you're on fire.

Wish me luck.

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Another update: it appears you don't even have to be open to record my voice, so I'm taking you with me into battle. This looks like it should be straightforward enough. No real terrain (though the dragon vein Xander stands on could be problematic depending on what it does), but that does mean Xander benefits from the open terrain. All I have to do is walk up to my brother and defeat somebody significantly stronger-that is... better trained... than me in every aspect.

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And son of a bitch he's holding back on me. Well considering the stakes I suppose I should be grateful.

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Is... is big brother mocking me? Not only is he deliberately holding back his true power, but he used the dragon vein he's standing on to create a heal spot for me, and he's just standing there letting me heal. This indignity will be avenged, big brother, I promise you that.

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Step number one on my path to greatness.

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And of course I win, as was inevitable for anybody with a shred of common sense. Once I am finally unchained from this accursed northern fortress, I will make sure this indignity never happens again. You bear a terrible responsibility, War Journal. You alone shall bear the knowledge that I had ever been anything less than perfect. Legends down the line shall no doubt say that I tore myself out of the womb and stomach of the she-dragon Papa Garon plowed with a sword fashioned from one of her own ribs, already a grown man.

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Anyway, with my “victory” behind me and my freedom from the Northern Fortress won, I suppose I should probably introduce you to my siblings. This is Xander, my eldest sibling. I suppose since this is my official record I should put aside my present anger while describing him... Ahem... Xander is magnificent, the sort of individual I am proud to call my brother. His training has helped to shape me into the man I am today, and the man I will eventually become. He is wise and brave and all-around awesome.

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This is Leo. He made you, which should tell you all you need to know about his magical genius. He's a dark knight with mastery of swords and sorcery. He's quite arrogant, though to be perfectly honest, he is like me in that he has plenty to be arrogant about.

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And here are my two sisters. The purple-haired one is my elder sister, Camilla. As far as I can tell, yes, she always dresses like that. I have literally never once seen her wear pants. The fact that she apparently rides a huge evil dragon mount while wearing that outfit impressed me so much I asked her to teach me how to ride one. She's very sweet to me. A little patronizing, which should infuriate me, but I dunno... something about her makes me not mind as much. Fancy that.

The blonde girl with the purple-spiraled twintails is Elise, my younger sister and the youngest of my siblings. And gods damn is she precious. I never get tired of seeing her; everything she does is adorable, from her little laugh to the way she says “yay” to the way she rides her little pony around. I could never say no to this bundle of infinite happiness.

Anyway, with all the important people introduced, off we go!

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Quick note to self: this servant's name is apparently Lilith. Maybe now I can finally remember her name. I don't usually make a habit of that, but I've been seeing way too much of her for that to not be awkward and reflect poorly on me like I'm some kind of forgetful buffoon. She just showed up one day and somehow made her way into the staff at lightning speed, and every day when I visit the stables and all the adorable horses, she's there, taking care of them too. I suppose that's one point in her favor: anyone who loves animals is just fine in my book, and she seems really good at taking care of them. If only she had been around when I was taking care of that poor injured... bird? I eventually settled for calling it that but it really looked more like a fish that could fly. At any rate, I cared for it for a few weeks and then it just vanished without another word. I hope it's doing well.

Side note: I've done an excellent job taking care of horses and levitating fish, so WHY HASN'T PAPA GARON YET APPROVED MY REQUEST FOR A PUPPY!? This indignity is inexcusable! Ah well, I suppose I can ask him when I see him in person again.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 2

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I have arrived in the Nohr Capital, Windmire, and its castle of Krakenburg, also known as the best castle ever. Seriously. How is it even physically possible to be anywhere near this building for any length of time and not collapse into incoherent gushing about how awesome this thing is!? How does anybody get used to living in this thing!?

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...Deep breaths, Dakota. You are here to make a good impression with glorious leader Papa Garon, after all. I wonder what he has in store for me.

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A weapon? For moi? How sweet! But whatever for?

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Oh happy day! Papa Garon's favorite sport: killing prisoners of war! Sounds simple enough with this fancy new sword.

He also asked my retainer Gunter and my maid Felicia to give me a hand. Let's see what we have here...

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Gunter has been serving this country faithfully for decades and... good lord, is this all? Though I'm hardly a fair or reasonable standard to hold anyone to, he's barely better than I am, and I've barely started training! This guy is clearly past his prime. I see basically no point in letting him engage in combat. I tried to tell him to unequip his weapon, but then Papa Garon started screaming “BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GARON!” or something along those lines and I thought better of it. I guess I'll just have to let him see as little action as possible.

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Maids are apparently supposed to be part of an advanced discipline fusing the tasks of domestic servant and bodyguard. Felicia... is not really stellar at the whole servant thing, and actually now that I look at her, she's not particularly great at the whole combat thing either. If this is how far she's come roughly halfway into her entire life's training, I'm frankly not impressed. Maybe she'll surprise me, there's certainly more cause to have faith in her than Gunter at least, but I think really I'll be best served by getting the lion's share of the combat glory here.

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Fairly straightforward battlefield, not much for an interesting fight... hello... what's this...?

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Success! I have finally mastered the art of the dragon vein! This battle suddenly became a cakewalk.

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Time to step into the healing light, listen to the wondrous sound of the court minstrels as they play my favorite song, and lay waste to the filthy enemies of Nohr. Remembering my weapon triangle homework, I position myself against the two axe users and the sword user, while Felicia takes on the two sword users and shuriken user.

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Rinkah: Is... is he dancing?

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Oni Savage: Sweet merciful Dragon of Dawn save us all, HE'S DANCING!

Felicia got a bit more injured from defending that post than I expected, so I wound up backing her away to support me. Ugh. Fine, Gunter, you can take the front lines over there. Just leave some for me.

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Step two on my path to greatness.

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I think we've got this pretty cleanly wrapped up. Gunter can keep tanking those shuriken while I finish off these two here with some covering fire from Felicia, and then I'll finish off that ninja shortly and claim the experience.

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Step three on my path of greatness.

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And with that, victory is mine!

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...Oh, apparently these two are still alive. Papa Garon isn't going to like that, so I guess we'll have to take care of that now!

...Actually, as I prepare to do just that... another thought occurs to me. I am distinctly short on reliable, truly loyal soldiers. I have Felicia, Gunter and Jakob, and that's about it... frankly if I'm going to make any progress in the world, I need some high-potential soldiers loyal to me and me alone. And quite frankly, I think I'm in a very good position to make an extremely good impression on these two lovely exotic specimens here. If I save their adorable little foreign buns here, then they may very well become loyal to me later.

Oh that would be just lovely, I can picture it now. In the heat of battle, during a crucial, life-changing decision that will alter the destiny of all mankind, Mr. Green-Haired Ninja will turn to me and say “Prince Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr, you magnificent stallion of a man, I would follow you headfirst into hell itself and make sweet love to you the whole way down.”

Oh yes. I like the sound of this. Father will not be happy about my mercy, of course, but those who play it safe and don't challenge authority never achieve greatness.

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I immediately conjure up my best imitation of a noble soul who lacks the stomach for the glory of war.

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Papa Garon is about as pleased as I expected he would be. Guess now is not the best time to ask for that puppy.

Thankfully Leo manages to bail me out by faking their deaths. Sadly I'm forced to release them back to Hoshido. Still, having a couple of people in that savage land that owe me their lives is not a bad result.

But only time will tell how this affects my relationship with Papa Garon.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 3

 

Dear War Journal,

Good news! Thanks to Elise being super adorable, I managed to smooth things over with Papa Garon, and now he says he'll forgive me completely as long as I do a little scouting mission for him to check out a border fort and see if it's still serviceable. Excellent! I'm accompanied by Gunter and Felicia like before, as well as Hans, a fighter that Papa Garon seems to trust and Xander... decidedly does not. Well if he can fight, he's a welcome addition.

We've arrived at the fort now. Felicia is positively terrified, something about the raging lightning storms and the bottomless abyss beneath us that we are protected from by nothing but a rickety, rotting old rope bridge. Silly girl. She better be lucky she's cute.

So, interesting story, War Journal: it turns out that Papa Garon's briefing was inaccurate on two accounts: first of all, the fort is not in territory that is ours to investigate, as it is across the bridge into Hoshidan territory.

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Secondly, the fort is very much not abandoned. Well, no big deal, this fulfills the terms of my mission already, anything further would be reckless escalation of the war, and there's no sense in rushing headlong into violence if it'll piss off foe and friend. I relay these orders to Gunter, who agrees, Felicia, who complies, and Hans...

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Who doesn't listen to a single word I say and kills a samurai unprovoked. Well, he's useless, and now we're fighting. First priority: make sure this jackass doesn't steal any more kills. I have everyone move up and prepare for an enemy attack, and with the help of Gunter's lance arm backing up my strikes, I manage to fell both of them in quick succession. Hans is left with nothing to smash.

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Step four on my path to greatness.

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So next is to take down these guys yeeeeeaaaaah ahahahaha no on second thought that would be suicide.

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I'm gonna try and improvise another way across that canyon, only a complete idiot would attack a formation that heavily fortified without being way way stronger than them.

What's a complete idiot, I pretend to hear you ask?

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Artist's rendering.

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Against all odds, the fool actually managed to do some damage. But I'm not fool enough to seize that opportunity, that wound will be healed by the time I make my way back over there, and that many archers at once is lethal. Oh but they won't go undefeated, I promise you that.

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I tried this route but sadly horrible terrain rendered it impossible to go through without attracting the ire of the upper archers, and I'm not quite ready to do that yet.

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Instead I went down here and started a skirmish with these fellows.

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Through indirect support and healing that did not interfere with my training, Felicia has made her first breakthrough that I've seen. She seems more impressed with herself than she has any right to be. She needs to be making literally double my progress per breakthrough (I'll just call them “levels” from now on) to keep up with me in the long run. This is hardly what I'd call impressive, but then, it's hardly what I'd call a reasonable sample size either. I'll let her heal some more and see where she goes (it's not like I can replace her at the moment).

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After letting Felicia heal up at a shockingly tiny fort (I'm fairly sure I've made bigger forts out of cushions when I was a kid), we advance. I bait the archer so we don't have to deal with him and the ninja at once by positioning myself as so.

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...Then this happens.

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Thankfully they're just sky knights, and with Gunter shielding me they should be no problem at all. I task Felicia with maybe baiting and weakening the archer, but who am I kidding, he might just try to take more useless potshots at me again.

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Nope, everything goes perfectly! The archer attacks Felicia and nearly dies, and all three Sky knights fall to my mighty blade. Sweet Dusk Dragon do I love this blade. Nothing in the world could ever possibly change that.

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Step five on my path to greatness.

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Hm... this is a tiny bit tricky.

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Shouldn't be too hard though as long as I don't do anything stupid.

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Aaaaand... success!

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I could always end this here, but here on the other side of the ravine, those tasty archers sure are tempting.

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Let's issue a challenge, shall we?

 

 

The fools jeopardize themselves with sloppy formation, and only one of them can attack me. That one swiftly falls to Ganglari.

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Step six on my path to greatness.

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...No, if we're being perfectly honest, it doesn't. I can't believe she hasn't been fired by now.

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Anyway, due to the final pair's suicidal refusal to step off of the base, they fall with ease. And with that, I seize the fort and my job is done.

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Alas, curse my lust for tasty experience. Dallying so long allowed a bunch of Hoshidan reinforcements to show up. Thankfully Xander and the others arrived to back me up, however. I've been instructed to retreat, and I do so, with Gunter and Felicia in tow.

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Sadly, Hans takes it upon himself to not only be a jackass, but also a traitor, and he dares attack me.

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Quick update: Hans struck Gunter, who fell through the bridge, and now he is... probably dead. Choice not to let him take part in combat: vindicated.

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But I can't exactly let that stand, now can I? Useless old man or not, he was my useless old ma-WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY ARM!?

Well, conveniently, it freaks Hans out even more than it freaks me out, and so I start pressing him for information about his deplorable behavior. And then he drops this little nugget of information:

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The plot thickens. Right then, time to get out of he... why is my sword glowing all ominously?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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...Hey War Journal, one last quick update: I am currently falling to my death at terminal velocity, and I'd just like to leave a quick note for the people who inevitably discover my corpse: if, hypothetically, you should, hypothetically, discover that I have soiled myself, I would just like to state for the record, that definitely happened after my vital signs gave out, and not before.

 

 

 

 

 

Disregard that previous paragraph, it appears I've been saved. By who?

You're not going to believe this. Remember a few entries back when I talked about that “bird” I rescued? It came back. Or should I say it never left.

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It was Lilith the whole time. And... get this... in return for saving her life that one time, not only did she save my life, but she also gave me a pan-dimensional castle and swore eternal loyalty to me as an adorable flying lizard fish dragon thing perpetually clutching a big round ball.

Good lord, I wasn't even trying to get allies when I helped her.

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Also, score, I always wanted my own private treehouse!

But more importantly, War Journal, it would appear that my destiny is even greater than my intelligent yet lofty imagination assumed. No, in fact, it turns out that I am some kind of a chosen one. “A fateful crossroads is upon us, Dakota,” she told me, “in which the fate of the world itself will be put on the line. This world needs a legendary hero capable of making the right decision and leading all of humanity into a glorious future.”

...She then, unnecessarily, added on “And I guess you'll have to do.”

Anyway, she told me the next thing I have to do to face my destiny is to leave this castle. I'm not particularly afraid. Sure, Gunter is dead, Felicia is MIA and Jakob is unaccounted for, but I never really relied much on them so far anyway. I'm confident that I can handle whatever awaits back in the real world. Until next time, War Journal.

 

Edited by Alastor15243

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A note to anybody reading this: if you're enjoying it, please say something. It's weird to do this with no feedback whatsoever, it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time and that I'm better off just giving up and having my first time playing this game be the normal way.

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Glad you're enjoying!

Entry 4

Dear War Journal,

Things have gone from bad to great to terrible. Remember that positively amazonian Hoshidan wench I so graciously pretended to care about in front of Papa Garon for? Literally the second I stepped outside of my awesome pan-dimensional castle, she clubbed me from behind and dragged me to her little hut like some kind of amazonian cavewoman. I initially figured she was going to try and take me as her husband, but nooooo, something far worse is in store for me. She tells me she intends to repay my kindness by handing me over to the Hoshidan “royal family”, for lack of a better term, whereupon I will almost assuredly be executed in what I have been told by Camilla is the traditional method in these savage lands: being ravished to death by tentacles. I fear the worst. Should this war journal ever get back into the hands of my beloved siblings, I would just like to state for the record that I love each and every one of you dearly. Camilla perhaps more dearly than any brother ever should, but I cannot control my own feelings. Camilla, I █████████████████████████████████████

AHEM! Disregard that last paragraph please, it would appear that I am not going to be executed. Though my current situation is only marginally better I'm afraid. It would appear that everything Papa Garon told me about these savages was completely true. The royal family is absolutely insane. Or, more specifically, they're more of a cult. Mere minutes ago I was approached by the queen, who pronounced my name all weird and Hoshidonese-y (I'm now extremely uncomfortably conscious of the fact that my name is possible to construct with moonspeak characters) and hugged me, claiming I was her son.

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This woman.

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Claimed I was her son.

...I have my doubts. Exhibit a:

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Her fucking face!

Does she take me for some kind of idiot? I don't believe this woman has given birth to anyone, let alone me! This is not the face of a forty-something mother of five! Where'd that five come from? Well, she happened to show me pictures of my other four “siblings”.

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It was at this point that I suddenly realized I was dealing with something terrifying and beyond the comprehension of mortal (note: not me) men. Note the hair colors: Strawberry. Platinum blonde. Red. Brown. Add in my slightly-bluish green.

Five children.

Five different hair colors.

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None of them black.

I think I understand what's going on here. This is clearly a deranged cult. None of these people are really her “children”, she's just brainwashed all of them into thinking they are, and if I stick around here any longer, she'll do the same to me. I have to be constantly on my guard, be careful who I trust, and make sure I'm ready for the opportunity to escape when the time comes.

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New development: apparently my “sisters” are in danger and are being attacked by monsters created by my country's dark magic research. Now, I could always let them die, but that won't get me any closer to being able to escape, if we're being perfectly honest, and Ryoma seems strong enough that he'd probably be able to save them without my help. This is, as I see it, a perfect opportunity to gain some more precious experience without killing anybody that my home or my kidnappers will miss. As such, I agreed to come along. Joining me are those two Hoshidans I saved back in Nohr, and according to “Big Brother” Ryoma, they're both total rookies. Yes! Finally! Lackeys with room to grow!

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Well aren't you a hot little number? That being said, she is... not as loyal to me as I had initially hoped, and I'm skeptical about training her since she'd probably betray me the second I try to head back home.

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Now this strapping young man is more like it! My gambit worked and now he seems to be completely loyal to me. It helps he had no liege before and he seems set on becoming my retainer. He's very swift, and I'm thinking he's got a bright future ahead of him as my loyal servant.

I have Rinkah go be an errand girl and visit the nearby village, and she gets a “goddess icon”. That's definitely going in storage. Once I set up storage.

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These are our opponents, they're apparently called the faceless. Ugly little freaks, aren't they? What on earth was Papa Garon thinking when he made them? Well then again, what on earth was Papa Garon thinking when he ordered Hans to do the stuff he did? Whatever, I doubt he'll miss these things. I bet he uses them as training dummies for his own soldiers all the time. Alas, it appears I lack the speed to properly outpace them at the moment, but I trust that will change soon. Kaze, on the other hand, is plenty fast and can outpace basically all of them.

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Here are my two “sisters”, Hinoka and Sakura. I suppose it's in my best interests to protect them. For now. They're on the other side of the mountain range, so I make no promises.

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I elect to take the north path because it has more tasty experience, but eventually I hope to fight them all.

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I've had Rinkah team up with me for the time being, and I used a dragon vein to destroy a mountain and then had Kaze rush to attack that faceless from an excellent forest position that guarantees only two of the three nearby faceless will be able to attack him, an onslaught I've calculated he can survive. Unless of course these freaks turn out to be smart enough to harness the power of dual attacking.

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WHICH APPARENTLY THEY ARE.

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Sweet Dusk Dragon that was a close call. That would've been the most embarrassingly short career imaginable for my first promising retainer. Note to self: Always consider the double-attacks. This lapse in judgement will not happen again.

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Gods damn but Ryoma is strong. Better not mess with this guy.

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Step seven on my path to greatness. Finally I can double these wretched beasts.

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I have Kaze heal up with the vulnerary he brought, and turn on my dragon vision to ensure he's not put in serious danger again until he's better trained up.

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Ryoma, wretched experience thief that he is, killed all the enemies I had worked so hard at luring towards me. What with him being faster than me, it seems he's going to be beating me to all the enemies around here. Unless...

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As I thought, he's not interested in the powerful ones, just the ones on the way to his sisters. Excellent. It'll be a little dangerous, but I've calculated I can survive this. And this time I'm going to have Rinkah support me when I fight them to protect from any annoying dual attacks.

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Here goes nothing.

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GAAAAH! Cursed creature somehow drained my strength just by being near it! It didn't even land a single hit on me and somehow I can't fight as well! I can't let Kaze fight this thing or he'll be useless in the near future.

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VENGEANCE.

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VICTORY.

Anyway, time to meet up with these “sisters” of mine.

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I'm not sure how to react to this.

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...Is that a threat? That's totally a threat!

...So from what I can gather, for some reason the older two “siblings”, Ryoma and Hinoka, definitely remember me. Somehow. This would put a whole snag in my brainwashing theory, except...

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Hinoka flat-out confirms to me that “Mother” has vast, wide-reaching mind control powers. Gods help me, how am I going to get out of this?

I have just returned to the Hoshido capital, and I'm alarmed to discover that my “Mother” has essentially been planning this for years, with an entire fake bedroom full of decade-old Hoshidan children's toys I allegedly used to play with before I was “kidnapped”. She tells me I'm free to walk about the castle courtyard, so I do so with the hopes of clearing my head, when suddenly...

My blood chills as I hear an atrocious dirge sung by an incredibly creepy young woman with blue hair in a white dress by a lake. The melody is fine. The singing is passable. But my god, the lyrics are a work of pure madness! They offend every sensibility I possess! This woman has beheld the sacred commandments of music writing, approached the one about proper syllable emphasis, and attacked it head-on with a battle axe!

She actually has the audacity to put the emphasis on the “ers” in “waters”! Who does that!? I'll tell you who: NOBODY! Nobody with any grasp of how music actually works! THIS SONG WAS NOT WRITTEN BY SONGWRITERS!

AAUAAUAUAUAUAUUAUAUUUUUGHHHHHHH!

...Sorry. I have calmed down. But I assure you I did not let her live this down. All throughout her conversation I pointed to the lake behind her and made sure to mention the “wadurrs” at every conceivable opportunity.

Azure: Are... are you mocking me?

Dakota: Yes, I am! How nice of you to notice!

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But then the conversation decidedly went into a less lighthearted direction when Azura flat-out admitted to being a kidnapped former princess of Nohr. She has no love or memory of her family and was allegedly kidnapped in retaliation for my “kidnapping”.

They've done it before, and they're planning to do it again with me.

I must make my escape as soon as possible.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 5

War Journal, it's worse than I thought. “Mother” made her first attempt to turn me into her child less than half an hour ago. She asked me to sit upon her royal throne. A tempting proposition, and in my greed I almost accepted, but then I asked why, and she told me that it is infused with the power of the first dragons, and apparently, and I'm quoting here, “those who sit on it regain their true form and mind”.

Uh huh. I see your game here, witch. I sit on this throne, and then suddenly I “remember” you and my “siblings” and suddenly I have no will of my own and never want to leave ever. Right. Thanks but no thanks. She was surprisingly cool about my refusal, but I know she's going to try again with something else soon. I must be on my guard.

I've been trying to outwardly appear to be entertaining the notion that this witch could be my mother, and the others seem to be buying it, but not, as it turns out, my alleged little brother Takumi. He's positive I can't be trusted and that I'm just waiting for the opportunity to get back to Nohr.

Oh cruel fate. The one person I can relate to here hates me, and it's precisely because he hates me that I can relate to him.

Right now I'm heading into town at “Mother”'s request. Gods but the people of this backwards nation are insufferable, with the ne ne and the Onii-chan and the baka. How do they live like this? And the colors! And dear dusk dragon the sunlight! How do they not catch fire in these rays!?

...Ugh. It seems that “Mother” would like to introduce me to the people in a grand ceremony. I doubt I have much of a choice. I'll update when it's all over.

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...War Journal... a lot has happened.

...Oh gods, where do I even begin?

First off... the woman who claimed to be my mother... she's dead, War Journal. I still can't believe what just happened. It made no sense. I was standing there in the royal capital square, all bored, when suddenly a cloaked figure ripped Ganglier right out of my hands with his mind and used it to destroy hundreds of people in a massive purple energy explosion. And then he destroyed the sword and fired the broken shards at me like a storm of knives. It happened so fast that I can't tell whether the shards were aimed at her or me, but either way, she...

...She shielded me from the shards with her own body, and she collapsed and died in my arms.

I don't know what happened next. A strong rush of emotion. I was fearful for my life, I'm ashamed to say, but most of all, I was confused. What had just happened? Who was that person? But most of all, why would anyone give their life to protect somebody like that woman did? Because she did. She gave her life to protect me.

...And I still never bothered to learn her name.

But what wound up happening was... I changed. I transformed, I turned into a massive four-legged water dragon, and I went on a rampage. Yes, a battle happened. I lacked the ability to speak, or any coherent rational thoughts to voice, so I didn't record it in you like the others, but it happened. Azura tried to calm me down with her singing, but I attacked her instead.

...You make the obvious joke. I'm not in the mood.

But she managed to help me control my new dragon form with a special dragonstone she somehow had lying around, and the shattered statue in town square has apparently deemed me worthy to wield a new legendary sword to replace my old one: it's apparently called the Yato. It's a bit too eastern for my liking, but it's mine now, and it will have to do.

...Thankfully Kaze is still alive. He managed to seize the opportunity to train more, and he's even better fit to serve me now. No other casualties either.

Good. I'll need everyone I can get.

I've made a decision, War Journal. A terrible decision, one that I may very well regret if I am not spectacular. But I will be spectacular, War Journal, I assure you. And I've decided I cannot live with myself if I let this pass.

Twice now father has nearly gotten me killed using me as a pawn in his schemes, whatever they may be.

I have decided that its two times too many.

Garon is dead to me, War Journal.

And soon he will be just plain dead.

I don't know when, I don't know how, but I will see to it that “Papa Garon”'s throne is stained with his own blood. And I shall sit on that blood-stained throne, the blood still wet, and I will never wash the resulting stain off of my cape.

Garon will die, War Journal, on this you have my word.

Now I simply need to work out the best way to make that happen.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 6

Dear War Journal,

Even as we speak I am standing at a critical junction. I stand between the countries of Hoshido and Nohr, and I must choose a side to return to.

Never has a more terrible choice been so obvious.

I want Garon dead. He must die, that is a fact. And for all of my power I cannot do that alone. I need an army. An army of people who will follow me. An army of people who want Garon dead as much as I do. And for all that I trust my Nohrian siblings, I am not confident they would ever agree to such a plan, nor do I believe I could assemble a proper army within the country to vanquish him.

No, I can't assemble that army within Nohr. I must assemble it without.

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Even if it means I must side with my loved ones' most hated enemy.

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...So it was true. That woman really was my mother. I...

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Oh. Good. Felicia's back.

I... I'm not in the mood to record my tactical genius at the moment, War Journal.

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Leo...

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Camilla...

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Elise...

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Xander...

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Please forgive your foolish brother. He has a job to do.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 7

WARNING: This LP, starting here, will have Awakening spoilers, just so you know!

Alright, War Journal, I'm back! It's been a rough 24 hours or so, but I'm banging on all cylinders again! Lilith teleported us all into my new castle and we are officially open for business. I managed to get my groove back the same way I always do: drowning my sorrows in home decorating and playing god!

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Welcome to our new home, War Journal!

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My first act as ruler of East Dakota is to erect this statue of... me? What!? This bronzed musclehead looks nothing like me! No freak accident of genetics could ever allow for this to resemble me! That's what I get for trusting ancient cosmic dragon forces to build a statue of me. Sheesh.

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Also, I went hunting around and found some beans...

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Lapis...

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...And fish, which I immediately fed to our new adorable cosmic overdragon slash mascot.

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...With less than desirable results.

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Amusingly, a few of my subjects found some novelty food items that are apparently supposed to double as equipment. Heh. Those Hoshidans. Their insanity is almost becoming endearing.

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Aw, look, they're becoming friends! I approve! They've proven themselves to be professionals, so this can only improve their performance and morale on the battlefield.

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As a matter of fact... Yes, I've decided that if I'm going to be siding with these people for the foreseeable future, I should learn to be more sociable with them.

I shall now attempt to communicate with Rinkah, the Hoshidan amazon, in her native tongue.

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Hey bitch you look KAWAII”

Shockingly, that did not go so well, and I am currently nursing a severe burn wound and some blunt force trauma to the back of my head. Thank goodness wounds heal so quickly here.

Right, let's try this again, perhaps by inviting somebody to my house. Maybe I'll have better luck there. Hmm... who would I like to socialize with? Well, being the aspiring future ruler of Nohr, I imagine I will have to take a bride. I have quite a few choices to choose from, but... Azura... for all of my complaints with her... she does, I admit, enchant me in a way. Perhaps I will attempt to socialize with her.

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NO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS-

That went well. We haven't made a significant breakthrough in our relationship yet, but there is progress. Hopefully this will be the start of a beautiful new relationship. Azura, you will be my bride yet.

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I've also erected a new structure: A rod shop. Now I can buy staves for all my healers, as well as other useful items.

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I immediately blew nearly all of my gold on a rescue rod, as it's essentially a much-needed panic button for my team. I gave it to Felicia for two reasons: one, now that I have Sakura, Felicia's prospects are quite dim, and I want to use her as little as possible. This greatly suits a designated rescuer, since if I don't have her do anything, that means I'll never accidentally render the panic button useless by having her heal somebody. Secondly, the fact that her magic likely won't get to be very good doesn't matter, as this staff is literally idiot-proof. Anyone can use it with equal effectiveness. So there you go, Felicia, that's your new job. To stand by in the rear lines looking cute and be ready to twirl your little baton at a moment's notice to save your more valuable teammates.

Right, with that out of the way, I think I'm ready to head out on team Dakota's first mission-

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Helloo, who are these people? Visitors? OOH! And they come bearing gifts! Let's start with the one who calls herself Lucina...

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Lucina, darling, do you even need to ask? Right then, on to the one called Marth...

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Duh. On to this Ike fellow...

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Easy. Now then, for this Robin person...

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Robin: What... where am I?

Dakota: East Dakota, my friend. I'm Dakota. So, what've you got for me?

Robin: I beg your pardon?

Dakota: Let's back up. Where are you from? Where were you before you came here?

Robin: Hell.

Dakota: ...What.

Robin: Or at least I assumed. More specifically, I was in a mad realm of war. Midget plumbers, grand heroes, noble princesses, every legendary hero of renown my land had ever known, somebody dressed like you... even my own wife... all of them assaulted me without reason, mercy or restraint. It was an endless battle, the battlefield constantly changing at the whim of some giant white glove that seemed to be that world's mad god. I tried to run away, but... I was always too slow... I only assumed it was hell after all that I had done in my lifetime. It seems that not even my final grand gesture had been enough to absolve me of my sins...

Dakota: ...Huh.

Robin: I suppose I have you to thank for releasing me from such a fate.

Dakota: Sure.

Robin: ...Thank you. I shall not waste this chance. I promise you shall not regret this day. We shall meet again, my friend.

Well that was weird.

Let's move out!

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Turns out Garon's decided to attack a hospital! AHAHAHA, oh, classic Garon right there. As if my troops needed any more of an excuse to want you dead. You're only letting me play the Hoshidans like more of a fiddle. I'm coming for you, Garon.

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Right, we've got some new recruits, and due to... circumstances... I didn't really introduce our new members yet. This is Sakura. Apparently my actual genuine little sister. Weird. Anyway, she's my new main healer, and as I said, Felicia is now on basically permanent rescue bot duty. This girl just plain has far more room to grow and is hardly any worse already.

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Remember The Red Butcher of Lyrics? Yeah, she joined our army apparently while I was a dragon. She apparently sings to people to inspire them to move again. That sounds... incredibly fake, and also extremely undesirable. But no worries, she doesn't sing any lyrics on the battlefield. Thank the gods. Anyway, not sure why she bothers to carry that naginata into battle, it's not like she can actually use it worth a damn.

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These are Sakura's retainers, Hana and Subaki. Interesting, but the thing is, Ryoma and Hinoka are going to join me at some point I'm sure, and they have the same jobs, but they seem to be much better. Ryoma in fact is the only advanced fighter I've seen so far who actually seems to have gotten there normally. Whatever, I'll try to train them both for now and see how it goes.

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Treasure chest! Gimme gimme gimme!

...Ahem! Right, what I swiftly informed my comrades that I meant to say was that those Nohrian fiends seemed to be sending out thieves to steal our precious war supplies, and that we must swiftly secure them first! And then use them. Asking around at who can pick locks, Kaze raises his hand, and I position him to head after the closest one, with Rinkah serving as his bodyguard against the bow using outlaw on the other side of that wall.

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...Who the hell is this guy?

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Who the hell is this guy!?

...Whatever, time to fight.

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Score! That's definitely going to frail little Sakura.

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Through a series of what we refer to in the business as “tactical piggyback rides”, I have gotten everybody (including Hana and Subaki, who were bizarrely uncooperative about their starting positions during preparations – not helping your case, guys) up to the front.

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Quick note before I continue: my dragonstone is... decidedly less impressive than I thought it would be. It scales with my inferior magic power and can't double. It makes me a bit tankier, but this is not a good offensive weapon. ...Not gonna lie, the realization that turning into a dragon to gore my foes against my mighty horns and slash their legs off with a low whip of my tail is less practical than simply stabbing them is quite the letdown.

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Of course, one of the most important traits of a commander is to turn every weakness into a strength, and so that's what I've done. I realize that I am far ahead of all of my other soldiers, and they need to catch up. So thanks to this thing, I can brutally wound, but not kill, a bunch of enemies, and then my army can deal with them all afterwards. Let's see how this turns out.

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Turns out that it turned out quite well. I then have Hana take down the fighter, Subaki takes down the soldier, Sakura heals me (and gets a positively fantastic level up, everything but resistance)...

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...I find a rather unconventional use for a raddish...

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...And Kaze finishes him off for the experience!

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And with that, we're ready for what comes next!

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A soldier arrives who is swiftly finished off by Hana after being weakened by my mighty radish, and the fighter of the duo blocking our path is felled by my dragon horns and Kaze's shuriken. Azura catches up to the group after her lagging behind to boost Kaze back to the front earlier, and she practices her singing on Felicia.

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This, inexplicably, bears minor fruit in areas outside of singing. How queer.

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Kaze also got a very nice level. Almost everything a ninja should have and everything a ninja dreams of having too.

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By now the team has gotten the hang of my “Bait and slaughter” tactic. They're actually rather alarmed by how easily the enemy falls for it.

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Sadly, despite the fighter desperately trying to make room, he did not have the space to fall for the trap. He will have to be dealt with swiftly.

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Hana gets a passable level up.

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Step nine on my path to greatness.

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Hey War Journal, remember that thing I did with my arm on that bridge? Apparently I figured out how to do it. It requires a good opening so I can't do it all the time, but it should be fun!

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I swear, Azura's singing has far more combat utility than it has any business having.

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Enter a wretched little thief with the ability and intent to steal MY TREASURE.

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This, I assure you, will not stand.

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Outlaw successfully exsanguinated. Now to wrap this up.

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Subaki got a passable level up.

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Thank goodness for that decision.

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The rapidly-becoming-classic Bait and Slaughter earns us a cool 5000g off some unfortunate armor-clad soul. The way to the treasure chest is clear. GO, MY PET NINJA, GO!

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All that remains is to deal with these three.

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And speak of the devil, they're on the move.

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But they are far too late, FOR THE TREASURE IS MINE!

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Alright then, cavaliers. Let's dance.

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WHO. THE HELL. IS THIS GUY.

Ah well. Let's get to killing them.

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The first one died immediately to my mighty dragon horns (pairing up with Felicia makes me a little too strong to really “weaken” them), getting me another cool 5000g, bringing the grand total for this battle to 11000g. The leader barely survived my tail whip, so Subaki finished him off and then was in the perfect position to help Hana defeat the last one, getting a pretty good level up.

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And with that, our work here is done!

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...Interesting development, War Journal. Apparently I've always been in the habit of performing my Entry 2 maneuver since before I can even remember. Fascinating. And convenient! Another loyal subordinate, and this one of a class I don't have much access to now! Today is a good day! I convince him to join us (with total ease, he's like putty in my magic hands), and I'm just about to celebrate when a yucky scarred ninja and a very fine young diviner come with an urgent message:

Apparently Takumi and Ryoma have gone missing. That won't do, they were really promising back in...

...That battle...

...I can't afford to lose them! ONWARDS, SOLDIERS!

...But first, back to my castle for more home decorating!

Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 8

Dear War Journal,

Progress on East Dakota has been going smoothly.

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I've constructed a new armory opposite the rod shop, and I've used our new 11k in funds to start buying some new weapons.

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Furthermore, back at the rod shop, I saw that rods were on sale today, so I bought a bunch more, knowing we're never going to not need these things.

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And that was when I made an earth-shattering discovery.

It would appear that I can expand the number of disciplines (and therefore skills) a soldier has access to simply by having them develop strong bonds with each other and using one of these things.

Yes... YES... YES!!! I LOVE IT! WATCH, AWED MORTALS, AS I HARNESS THE POWERS OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP TO LAY WASTE TO MY ENEMIES!

I immediately went around spreading the new edicts to my subjects.

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MINIONS! BREED! FUCK FOR THE GLORY OF EAST DAKOTA!”

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What are you two doing!? Can't you see that you have no chemistry whatsoever!? This conversation of yours was a colossal waste of time! Find somebody you can hug or make out with immediately! YOUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!”

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I fed my cute friend some more fish, with some trepidation due to the abysmal results last time. However, it seems to have worked out waaaaay better this time.

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While I'm at it, let's talk about our latest recruits: Silas looks like he's got potential, he's almost certainly going to be the only cavalier I'll be able to recruit on my quest, what with the Hoshidans not understanding the concept of horses that can't fly, so I'd better train him up. I plan on devoting a good portion of the next mission to doing that.

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Saizo... well frankly he's not so impressive compared to... good god, is this really Kaze's brother? Yeesh. You can barely tell. Anyway, he doesn't seem particularly stable, what with that special talent of his, so I'm thinking I might pass him up.

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Orochi, on the other hand... damn. Boy has she got a niche all carved out for her. She tells me she's “exceptionally talented at tying people up”... Interesting... Anyway, she's both my only offensive magic user and my only capturer, so if I want to use the prison I can apparently build, I'll need to train her up too.

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Also, our friends came back!

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As did Robin.

Dakota: Oh, you again.

Robin: My friend... I think I understand why I'm here.

Dakota: Oh, that? I thought we already established that I-.

Robin: No you did not. You and I both know you possess no such power. Friend, please, heed my words. I can see it in your eyes. You are much like I was. You are on a great and perilous journey to determine the fate of the world. But on that path, never lose sight of what is right, friend. You will be granted access to a great and terrible power on your journey. I beseech you, do not abuse it, or you will not even be able to fathom the consequences, the wide-reaching ruin you will bring unto the lives of those who have put their faith in you. Until next time, friend.

Some help he was. Why are warnings always so cryptic?

Not much else to report, so I suppose I'll head out to look for Takumi and Ryoma...

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...Hello, what's this?

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Hello cute young lady. In a spot of trouble, are you? Don't worry, gallant hero Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr will happily help you out.

Let's see... she doesn't seem too strong, but... I see... potential. Yes, lots of potential. Alright, we march! We only have one shot at this.

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I prepare to march due south towards the girl. I have Kaze pair up with Silas for now, which should give him some added movement speed. I also spent my last 300g on two tonics to improve his speed and defense. He's now a little tougher and fast enough with a katana to double and kill the faceless surrounding this village. I myself shall ride with Subaki and hopefully we'll make it there in time to recruit her.

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My brilliant calculations were correct, of course. Silas kills the faceless with ease and Sakura is just close enough to heal up the small damage he suffered. Except that wasn't necessary, he dodged just fine.

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Silas and I are now positioned to take out the advancing faceless so we can continue our charge unhindered. Silas kills his mark, while I (intentionally!) leave mine alive...

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...So that Orochi can get the kill after some musical maneuvering.

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I have Sakura heal up Silas so he can continue to bait further faceless and get some more greatly-needed experience. Sakura levels up. See, this is why I dropped Felicia.

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We will arrive at our rescue destination shortly.

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...Hm... well said, Silas. At the very least you got speed and strength.

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I have Silas retreat to heal, I have Tsubaki take me within hailing distance of the peasant girl, and I have Orochi prepare to fight a faceless head on. There's only one, so she shouldn't be in any danger.

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Peasant... recruited! Instead of being in awe of my dashing rescue, however, she starts bawling about all of her friends and family dying in front of her or something. Whatever. Point is, she wants blood. Good girl, that's some initiative right there! Let's see if I can get you a nice little opening for it.

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Orochi managed to take care of that faceless no problem, so I'm thinking I'll send Silas down here to help me protect this Mozu girl. I'll make a blood-thirsty warrior out of her yet.

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Azura gains another level while helping to position Orochi.

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Meanwhile, I attempt to perform the bait and slaughter against one of these faceless. Hopefully I won't provoke all of them, but just in case, Mozu's prepared to run.

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We provoked some of them. This is an inconvenient position. Time to move to more open ground and prepare for some more precise attacks.

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Mediocre, Orochi, mediocre.

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Odd. It seems that while some of the faceless are moving, the one I actually provoked and attacked... no longer is. I shall exploit this to take them one at a time for maximum opportunities to feed Mozu her first tastes of blood.

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Seems to be working. We've got a double-layer baiting game going on.

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Subaki gets an... okay level up.

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YES! FEEL THE RUSH, MOZU! LEARN TO LOVE THE THRILL OF THE KILL!

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I'm initially less than impressed with this...

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...Until I'm reminded of what Felicia's levels are like.

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Baiting time!

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Mozu becomes more of a killer with each passing minute!

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Azura gains another level.

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I repeated this baiting process for quite some time to slowly build up Mozu. Everyone's already dead, so why hurry?

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This bears impressive fruit.

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Also, the time it takes allows Azura to level up some, including this truly staggering level. Who knew she was capable of this?

So, that was basically my day, War Journal. I beat up a bunch of faceless and began to turn an adorable little girl into a murder machine. Fun times!

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I was initially reluctant to post in this thread because I didn't want to interrupt the hilarity. However, since you felt like you were shouting into the void, I shall shout back! Try not to mistake me for an echo! This is immensely entertaining. Thank you for posting this. Please keep it up!

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I was initially reluctant to post in this thread because I didn't want to interrupt the hilarity. However, since you felt like you were shouting into the void, I shall shout back! Try not to mistake me for an echo! This is immensely entertaining. Thank you for posting this. Please keep it up!

Thanks, I appreciate it. I didn't realize how stressful it would be to add a time-consuming process to my first playthrough of a game I've been waiting for for basically a year, a lot of times I just wanna give up and just rush into the game. Hearing positive feedback makes me feel like it's worth keeping up!

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I just finished reading all of the current updates and I must say, this is rather amusing. Keep up the good work!

Will do!

Entry 9

Dear War Journal,

A few interesting things have happened in the wonderful land of East Dakota since I last wrote. First off, budding love and friendships!

Sakura supported with Azura (reaching C rank), I supported with Subaki (reaching C rank), and Silas supported with Mozu (reaching C rank).

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My subjects seem to just have the habit of finding the strangest things.

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Hana found this thing, let's see... what is this... wait... WHAT!?

Dakota: Hana, where did you find this thing?

Hana: Honestly I couldn't tell ya, My lord, I don't really remember.

Dakota: Hana... this is going to be a weird question, but... you didn't happen to see a corpse around where you found this thing, did you?

Hana: Hm? Let's see... y'know honestly I can't remember!

Dakota: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER!? EITHER THERE WAS A CORPSE OR THERE WASN'T! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING CORPSES HANA!

...At any rate, the thing appears to be a single dose of somewhat potent healing solution. This raises so many questions regarding the fate of my elderly retainer. Did he actually die? I suppose that highly depends on where she found this thing. Did he drop it on the journey to that accursed ravine? Did he drop it as he fell? Did he strugglingly reach for it as he lay dying? Did he miraculously survive, walk away, and drop it there? Did his horse survive and it was carrying the bag this was in? Did he also befriend a magical flying dragon disguised as a woman and inherit his own pan-dimensional castle?

...I suppose what I'm trying to say is that this little novelty item tells me absolutely nothing, so I might as well just use it.

Anyway, my next building could be either a mess hall or a lottery shop.

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Who needs food?

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Today's lottery prize: A cheap trinket of a weapon.

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I think I'm noticing a pattern here. It seems that fish just makes her improve her speed twice as fast as her other stats. I suppose other resources will improve other stats, but I only have fish at the moment, so sorry Lilith, sweetie, but fish is going to be your diet for a while.

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Also, she rewarded me for my kindness (Again? Seriously? Lilith, sweetheart, I'd do this for free!) with a gold bar. Score! I literally have no money left, time to cash this sucker in!

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...Ah. I see. So this was why she was so willing to part with it. WHAT KIND OF GOLD BAR SELLS FOR BARELY MORE THAN A PEASANT'S WEAPON!?

...This is madness. Our suppliers in this pan-dimensional castle are filthy extortionists! Wretched fools, you had better start upping your usefulness!

...Lest you outlive it.

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Kaze asked for my opinion on fashion. Good man! Let's see here...

We have accessories!? So that's what those things the travelers gave me were! Excellent! Where can I try them on!?

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...Apparently it is a “proud tradition” among the Hoshidan people that you never put on accessories that haven't been gifted to you unless there is an accessory shop within 100 feet.

Oh. I see. What other “proud traditions” from your “venerable past” have you been “honoring” all this time? Do you people only breathe on Tuesdays? Do you only consume stat-boosting tonics by making them in powder form and then snorting it off of the scrotum of a yak!?

...Basically, until I make an accessory shop, I have no idea how any of these will look on Kaze until I give one to him, and he'll never take it off until I erect that shop. Right. Well let's see how this feather looks on you.

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...Euuh. I was going to ask Kaze to turn around so I could see it better, but the thing is so huge I think I get the idea. It's... okay. I honestly wouldn't have him strap that thing to his back normally, but fine, he can have it.

Ooh, our friends have returned! Let's see what they have to say!

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She's either challenging me to a duel or soliciting me for sex, and both of them sound ominous.

Yes, in fact, this was how all of our conversations went. All four of the mysterious travelers arrived at my gates at once, demanding a taste of my steel. And no, I still don't know which of the two meanings they meant by that.

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...Alright, let's take one of them up on their “offer”:

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Robin: So you have finally come, Dakota!

Dakota: Er, yes! I have come! For the... event! That is going to transpire! An event of... passion! And intensity! And stuff!

Robin: Lord Dakota, heed my words. As I said, I see a lot of you in me.

Dakota: Er... how much of me are you seeing in you, exactly?

Robin: I now understand why I am here, Dakota. It's to guide you, to do everything in my power to make sure you don't make the same mistakes I did. And to do that, Dakota, I would like to join you in your quest, whatever that may be. But first, friend, I must ask that you prove yourself against me in battle. Before I join you to ensure you don't misuse your power, you must first demonstrate that you have power to misuse!

Alright, seems simple enough, let's-

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-yeah no. Sorry man, can you wait here for like a couple of months? I'll be back.

Right... speaking of leaving people waiting... aren't I forgetting something?

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Oh. Right. The disappearance and high danger of my two brothers. Of course.

Alright, War Journal, here's our next destination: Wind Tribe Village. It's on the way to Izumo, which was where Takumi and Ryoma were last seen. I'll let you know what happens when we get there.

Curious, War Journal. It would appear that some Hoshidan savages seek to attack our band. Oh well, it can't be helped!

Dakota: Kaze! With me!

Kaze: At once, my lord!

It wasn't a battle so much as a slaughter, War Journal. That'll teach those savages to defy-

Azura: Oh... OH MY GOD!

Dakota: Hm?

Azura: They're... they're PEOPLE!

Dakota: Muh?

Kaze: But they were faceless just a moment ago!

Dakota: They were? I MEAN YES! INDEED! THEY WERE! FACELESS! A MOMENT AGO! AND NOT NOW! THEY'RE HUMANS NOW! WHICH THEY WERE NOT! A MOMENT AGO!

Whew! Seems I dodged a bullet there. See, as it turns out, the Nohrian royal magician, Iago, played a little magic trick on my band in some grand machiavellian scheme to screw with me. We now have to pass through the Wind Tribe village those Hoshidans called home. Oh well, I'm sure they'll understand.

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Quick update, War Journal: They did not.

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It would appear we're in for a battle. This is apparently how Wind Tribe diplomacy works. I'm pretty sure this is the exact opposite of diplomacy, but whatever. And I notice two things immediately about the battlefield: one, it appears that Hinoka and a few allies of hers will be joining us, I'll have to get her attention...

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And two, it appears that there are dragon veins that can create lush oases in the desert ,which will be essential for clearing out a starting area so we don't get swarmed.

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This first move shall make or break this entire battle. As such, I give Rinkah to Mozu for strength, and Hana to Silas for speed. Hopefully his next levelup will give him some more speed so he can start doubling things without tonics. Let's do this.

I've determined my best course of action that will eliminate all of these enemies in one fell swoop. The only problem is that if a single step of this process fails, we're as boned as a barbarically-prepared piece of steak.

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Step one: Sakura, the only royal with magical sandwalking powers, activates the dragon vein.

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Step two: Orochi attacks this samurai.

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Step three: Mozu finishes off said samurai.

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Step four: I pair up with Felicia, go into the area I won't be able to secure, and gore this oni savage from the side.

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Step five: Silas finishes off the oni savage with his trusty javelin. In hindsight I should've had him borrow his partner Hana's kodachi for a better hit chance, but it worked out anyway.

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Step six: Subaki and Silas slaughter this newly-exposed diviner.

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Step seven: Kaze weakens the other samurai.

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Step eight: Azura reinvigorates Mozu for another attack.

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And step nine: Mozu finishes off the second samurai.

Excellent, everything went off without a hitch, and we got some levels too! Let's see what we got:

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Yes, but when will now become then, Silas?

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Subaki, you haven't gained any speed yet! You're a goddamned sky knight!

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Not like I expected much from you... Oh well, at least Mozu, with the immense potential I saw in her with my tactical knowledge and dragonvision...

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NOT YOU TOO, MOZU!

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Oh well, I did what I could. And the only people in enemy range are Sakura (no big deal, it's a magic-user) and myself. Your move, mongrels!

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Oh how cute. Hinoka decided to put her healer in the range of the enemy.

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Sigh. Looks like I'll have to step in.

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And we have new allies! Let's see... Huh. Where's her legendary weapon? I mean don't get me wrong, that guard naginata is cool and all, but she's a royal with dragon blood in her veins. And where's Sakura's? And Azura's? Now that I think of it, I can't remember if Camilla had a legendary weapon, and Elise definitely didn't. Note to self: legendary weapons choose their owner, and they apparently take issue with the concept of vaginas for some reason. Good to know.

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Setsuna... yeah, no. One archer is enough. Once we find Takumi and his kickass all-terrain bow you'll basically be totally obsolete, so no, stick to the back sweetheart.

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Congratulations Azama, you're in basically by default. I kinda don't care about the stats of my healers as long as they can swing a rod around.

Now time to take care of these enemies. I have Kaze use the weaker brass shuriken he took from his brother to soften the diviner for Mozu...

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...I assembled something of a supply conga line to allow Azama to grab one of the weaker rods in storage so he can heal Mozu without wasting his more useful Sun Festal rod...

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Sakura healed Silas, and then Silas slayed the archer with his trusty iron katana.

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I start off my next maneuver by having Hinoka weaken the samurai with basically no repercussions, then Orochi finishes him off for a level.

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Good gods, Orochi, is this really what you consider to be a good day for you? Thank those stars of yours that you have a niche literally nobody else can fill.

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Kaze kills the western oni savage with some help from yours truly, and Silas kills the northern one.

...We're killing an awful lot of people here. Is this really how these guys parley? No wonder the tribe only has a single village left. Whatever, it's not like this is my problem. I finish off with some healing and prepare for their next actions.

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We've got a long line of enemies approaching, so I back up to get a little more elbow room to fight with.

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Much better.

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I decide to have Silas get these two more kills with the help of Azura to secure the area for my fliers.

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Sigh. I suppose he has at least consistently been getting stronger and tankier. I just wish he'd get faster.

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Area secure. Remembering Hinoka and Sakura's motivational aura abilities, I have them crowd around Silas to empower him during the next attack. Not that it's needed, but I can, so why not?

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Silas took care of both of the oni savages on the counterattack, so now it's time to truly start advancing.

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I activate the dragon's vein for a better approach.

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Azura levels up. As much as I've been ragging on her level ups, she's been getting so many of them that she's actually fairly decent statistically now. Interesting...

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Using an all-out assault, I managed to rout the shrine maiden and the samurai-archer duo lurking here.

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...More defense is... always okay... I guess...

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Well I guess this is nice.

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Afterwards, realizing I put the very low-res Silas in range of two diviners, I had Sakura move up to use her aura to help protect him.

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Sakura continues to impress.

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Felicia continues to not.

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Gosh, this would be great on a healer who can actually take a hit on the front lines.

...Actually, hold the sarcasm on that comment. I may actually be on to something. As Sakura continues to grow stronger, I might just have to make her besties with Felicia, or possibly marry Jakob if he'd ever show up, so she can learn this skill. Note to self: work that out.

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Silas survives just fine, as I knew he would.

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...Damn, Azura's pretty badass actually. Too bad she's more useful singing.

...I can't believe I just said that.

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More sacrifices to Mozu...

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Silas and Subaki take down the remaining samurai and shine maiden. All that remains is their leader.

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Right. Since this guy refuses to move and has a power that reduces strength, I figure our mage should have the honors. She can survive a single attack from that club, and of course, as we all know, throwing weapons can't double.

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...Except when they can, apparently. Common? Common you say? Since when do throwable melee weapons not reduce speed or disable double attacks!? I MUST HAVE THIS THING. YOU WILL SURRENDER IT TO ME, YOU BALD-HEADED MONGREL!

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Right, that puts a wrench in that plan. I'll have to handle this myself.

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And then I'll let Orochi finish him off.

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...At least she got speed?

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Aaaaah, nothing like three dozen casualties to determine if people are trustworthy, huh?

So, after I killed tons of his people, Fuga finally said he'll gladly hear me out on why I attacked tons of his people.

...Actually now that I think about it, I don't think I ever really explained. I kinda got sidetracked by the fact that he knew about my sword, and then... he told me something about the Yato's ability to “link the Seal of Flames”? “Connect the Fire Emblem”? I can't quite remember his exact wording. But anyway, apparently he never needed to hear an explanation, because he amicably sent us on our way with a new mage, Hayato!

I like this guy. I hope he joins us later.

...He'd just better bring that damned iron mace.

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Entry 10

Dear War Journal,

Good news! My adorable little minions are continuing to build bonds with each other. I supported with Felicia, reaching B, Felicia supported with Kaze, reaching C, and Silas supported with Hana, reaching C. Silas and Hana in particular intrigues me. Maybe I should be using her. Friendship sealing into a samurai would definitely help Silas's apparent speed problem.

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Also, as I said at the end of last entry, we have another teammate, Hayato, and he is adorable! Look at him! Seriously, look at him wearing that diviner uniform like a big boy! He's not particularly impressive at the moment, but then, neither is Orochi, and he's simply too cute not to give a chance!

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I fed Lilith some fish and later some beans, with the exact same results as usual, and then I tried the lottery...

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...And won nothing but lapis. Normally this would put me in a bad mood, War Journal, but oh no, not today...

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Some new redecorating is in order. First, this little patch of trees, and then...

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Finally! I have been waiting for this moment for a long time...

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I immediately adorn myself with this fabulous tiara because I AM THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS.

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Azura gets an adorable little bear hat...

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As does Hayato, much to his inexplicable chagrin. I don't care how old you want to think you are, buddy, you cannot deny your adorable destiny.

The store itself is basically useless, I barely have the resources to take advantage of it at the moment. Pity.

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My other choices, incidentally, were a smithy (probably would've required more materials I simply do not have), a prison (entirely dependent on a soldier who hasn't even surpassed mediocre yet) and a mess hall (again, if we haven't already starved to death by now, I fail to see the need).

With that taken care of, I have everyone prepare to set off further on our journey to find Takumi and Ryoma. We arrive at the neutral kingdom of Izumo, where we're informed that we've been completely wasting our time and nobody heard about the battle that was supposed to have happened around here. Typical, and we came all this way. I demand to see their leader, and I am introduced to one Izana, who is...

...Frankly I don't know what I was expecting, War Journal. Is this just how non-Nohrian nobles act? He's completely unprofessional and informal and doesn't seem to even realize he's a noble at all (though considering where he lives he might as well not be). However, he immediately earned points in my book by offering to give all of us the star treatment at his healing spa! Excellent! It's been ages since I've had a proper hot bath, I'm almost suffering withdrawal! I'll be sure to let you know how that goes, War Journal!

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Oh War Journal, this is absolutely adorable. They tried to spring a trap on me.

Nohr Dark Mage: Why is he talking to himself?

Zola: Beats the bile out of me, I think he's retarded or something.

Sigh. I was hoping to save this heart seal for later. Oh well.

Nohr Dark Mage: What... what's he twirling in his right hand?

Zola: I... I think... it's a... a flute of some kind?

To be more precise, War Journal, It happens to be... a recorder.

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Nohr Dark Mage: ...What.

Zola: ...I... I... SIEZE THEM ALREADY!

(a terrible, reptilian screech is heard in the distance)

Zola: Huh. That's odd. We weren't supposed to get air force reinforcements-

Nohr Dark Mage: AGAHAHAHAUUUUUUUUUUUGUCCCK!

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Dakota: GIGI! YOU CAME!

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War Journal, I would like to introduce you to my beloved pet wyvern, Gigi.

Dakota: Whoozagoodgirl? Whoooooozagoodgirl! Youzagoodgirl! Did you miss me, Gigi? Because I missed you soooooo much! Goooood girl! What's that you got in your mouth, Gigi? Oh is that an arm? Is that an arm, Gigi? Are you hungry, girl? Because there's plenty more where that came from!

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So yeah War Journal, basically, after that Zola went running away screaming like a little girl over to the throne room. Fun. This seems like a fairly straightforward battle. My main priority is to take down these thieves before they get to the chests (which we will of course rob blind ourselves. The real Izana is probably dead anyway).

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Kaze and Mozu take down a dark mage, and Mozu gets a great level up. Very soon she won't have to be babied anymore and will bathe in the blood of our enemies!

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Alas, losing access to Yato and being restricted to axes and clubs, which I'm a bit rusty with, mean Gigi and I are not the terror to behold I was hoping we would immediately be. But that will soon change.

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Step ten on my path to greatness.

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After ending one outlaw and getting reinvigorated by Azura to fell the next, I realize I'm playing a rather dangerous game fighting both of a wyvern rider's worst enemies, mages and bow users, with a less than guaranteed kill rate. But I design an ingenious solution to guarantee my survival. By engaging this dark mage from here just so...

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...I abuse the intricacies of the guard system to give Felicia a terrific opening to protect me from the next attack, which can only come from the outlaw.

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This also gives Sakura a perfect position to heal me with impunity.

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After that, Silas takes down the cavalier and we have breathing room.

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Alas, the outlaw, coward that he is, runs to the treasure room to steal MY TREASURE, hiding behind a massive wall of knights, dark mages and outlaws that I cannot penetrate on my own. I'll have to take the long way around.

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I have Silas join me on this journey.

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Hayato scores his first kill against a dark mage with some help from Kaze, Subaki and Hinoka advance to guard Kaze and do some advance damage on one incoming cavalier, and Mozu tremblingly readies her brass naginata against another.

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Hellooooo, it would appear we have some new allies on the move!

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I really should hate Oboro. Her incomprehensible disgust towards the glorious nation of Nohr is repulsive to me, not to mention completely and utterly illogical. And yet... her passion! Her bloodlust! The way she impales her foes and lets the blood spill forth and stain her robes and armor, the way she blushes with orgasmic bliss as she thrusts her naginata forth... it... arouses me. She will be a fantastic addition to this army once I can find a better lance for her that doesn't slow her down so much.

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Silas eliminates the remaining western cavalier and advances forward after a song from Azura.

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Things aren't so fun down here. I'll have to think about this carefully.

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I figured out how to deal with this situation. First, Kaze teams up with Hayato to defeat the southern cavalier, Orochi softens up the dark mage for Mozu to finish off, Hayato attacks the closest eastern cavalier from behind cover, Subaki finishes him off, and Sakura moves to heal Kaze at a position where she can boost the defenses of Subaki and Hinoka.

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We get some level ups, and Kaze gets a new skill.

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...Another samurai? I get it, this is Hoshido, you have your adorable little katana fetish, but seriously! I can't imagine needing any more than just Ryoma. Sorry, you'll have to sit out.

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I exploit Oboro's swap ability to get a little bit closer when Azura sings me to move again, and she levels up.

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...Hellooo, what's this?

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Fan. TASTIC! Seriously, my first impression of this woman was terrible. She's amazing at basically everything but taking hits and writing lyrics.

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Damn it Silas, the day you can become a samurai can't come soon enough!

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NO IT MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT, SUBAKI. I HAVE NOT ONCE SEEN YOU GAIN SPEED, AND YOU ARE A GODDAMNED SKY KNIGHT!

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I use this dragon vein to heal everyone, advance everyone forward, and prepare to make the rush for the western treasure chest.

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The outlaw got to the chest first and pilfered a speedwing (WHICH I DESPERATELY WANT FOR SILAS) and then these reinforcements showed up. Kaze, Subaki, Hayato and Hinoka bested them with ease.

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I am alarmed at the lack of speed lately.

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This will be swiftly rectified.

I've secured the speedwing! Next I had Kaze assist Orochi in picking off those three knights while Azura spotted them with a mulligan when needed.

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This next area was a little tricky...

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...But with a little ingenuity I figured it out.

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YOU DON'T SAY, SILAS.

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Finally, the last guardian falls!

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...Oh dear, this guy is going to be nasty. First I'll exploit the guard system to get a free potshot on him, and then I'll work out how best to handle this guy.

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I try to say with a straight face. Who am I kidding, that was pathetic.

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This is pretty cool though.

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I manage to avoid any risk of instant death by nerfing his magic with Kaze, his resistance boosted by Subaki, attacking with an iron shuriken.

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That's right, SQUIRM, YOU INSIGNIFICANT WORM!

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Mission complete!

Afterwards... Izana was found and did some fortune telling stuff... there was a prophecy... Azura cried OH WHO CARES RIGHT NOW!?

...I had a run-in with Leo just now, War Journal. It was... super uncomfortable. He was... cold. Distant. All business. He was nothing like the little brother I grew up with. I didn't know what to say to him. I could barely look him in the eye.

I'm set in my course, War Journal, Garon will die. I will do anything it takes to make that happen.

I only hope that, in time, my siblings will come to forgive me for it.

Edited by Alastor15243

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Hey, what would everyone think if I went a bit laxer on the play-by-play of how the battle went except in high-tensity situations and mostly just focused on highlights I think I can make funny entries about? I'm trying to think of ways to make documenting the battles more enjoyable to read and less tedious to make. What do you think of the documentation for the battles currently?

Edited by Alastor15243

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I think sticking to highlights and favorite bits is a good idea. It'll allow you to focus on the stuff you find more interesting.

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Alright, I experimented with a somewhat sparser report. It's a lot less draining for me, so there's that!




Entry 11



Dear War Journal,



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I have managed to clear my head a bit after that rather unpleasant ending to my previous entry with a nice evening flight around the glorious land of East Dakota on the back of my beloved Gigi.



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Things have been going reasonably smoothly since then. I got fish as a consolation prize at the lottery, which turned out to be convenient because I was somewhat running out of the stuff.



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It would appear that my choice to add a bit of beans to Lilith's diet the other day has caused her growths to become more irregular. Curious.



Anyway, We have some more budding friendships. I caught Kaze and Mozu talking to each other. Actually now that I think of it they might very well make an adorable couple. Kazemozu! Or wait! Mozukaze! No! ZeZu! I LOVE IT! In other news, Subaki and Hinoka have started to hit it off, which is cute and all, but the thing is, Subaki has been rather unimpressive lately.



I've also revised my opinion of Hinata. He established himself as quite the formidable force against the reinforcements in the previous battle. He's quite impressive already, redundancy be damned. Both he and Oboro are welcome in my army, and now I have the money to buy Oboro a lighter weapon (I gave Hinata Hana's iron katana, since she's not really using it in guard stance).



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Awww, Mozu asked me about fashion! How cute! I decided she'd look best with this adorably ironically manly pauldron that the beefcake mercenary gave me!



...Which reminds me.... I think I still left them waiting on the battlefield. Oh well, I'm still not nearly ready for them.



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My courtship of Azura, I realized during my head-clearing flight, is now of even more importance than I thought it had been. I must face the fact that it may very well come to lethal force between my beloved siblings and me. If that happens, I shall be in a position not just to kill Garon, but to need to take the throne for myself. Azura is the key to doing that. She's perfect! Garon will have no doubt made it clear to the people that I am not a true Nohr royal. However, Azura is. She's a long-lost Nohrian royal with a legitimate claim to the throne, and she's the only Nohrian royal who I did not grow up with (in fact she's the only royal who is neither my adoptive sibling nor related to me), so marrying her will not start ugly rumors. By marrying her, I will secure a position for both of us on the Nohrian thrones. ...Throne.



...We'll have another one built.



Anyway, as it stands I'd currently grade our relationship a “B”. If we're going to truly take it to the next level, some more socializing is in order. I fear I must make the ultimate sacrifice, War Journal.



...I must actually put up with her singing.



Alright War Journal, that... didn't... go so well. I thought I should start on some common ground so I invited her to start singing while I provided musical accompaniment on my recorder. This proved to be a poor choice for several reasons.



First, It caused Gigi to come crashing through my treehouse's northern wall headfirst, scaring Azura half to death, ruining the wall, and getting Gigi lodged in it for several hours while she was screaming and braying the whole time.



Also I suck at playing the recorder.



...But I defy you to find a single person who doesn't! Go on! I defy you! You can't, can you? Of course you can't! You're an inanimate book! I'M TALKING TO AN INANIMATE BOOK!



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I decided to create a diversion by creating some new buildings, including a statue of Silas, a smithy, and an arena!



I bet on Silas and his budding ladyfriend Hana to defeat a ninja and sky knight, and I won two lapis from it. Hopefully this excellent teambuilding exercise will mean they'll be wed any day now.



Incidentally, it appears that lapis is used to forge clubs. Excellent! I'll have to keep that in mind when I get better with clubs so I can make myself a nice fancy one to use with Gigi.



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As for how I could spend that much DVP, well, I took my sorely lacking magic users on a little skirmish against a cripplingly-overspecialized band of knights and then a slightly more mixed band of desert soldiers, with Silas and myself tagging along for bodyguard duty. Hayato in particular is coming along nicely, and Sakura gained an interesting skill that I'm not sure if I'll use overly often, but still.



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Sakura and Hayato are really cute together, I hadn't noticed it before because there's been almost no opportunities for them to work together in battle aside from my particular strategy of baiting that I used for training. Maybe something will come of it if I keep going with this!



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Also, incidentally, somebody managed to find some rice and I've managed to start duplicating it with arena winnings, again thanks to Silas and Hana.



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And finally, I've erected our prison at long last, nice and out of the way, just in time for its first resident, Zola. Yeah, I kinda left him alive since he managed to cling to life by a thread, and I figured maybe he'd make a decent hostage. Doubtful, since Leo wanted him dead too, but I'll come up with some use for him. I don't know where the hell that awesome tome of his went though. Pity. At any rate, he's surprisingly grateful to be in a cell now. My previous method of restraining him before I could get it built was to tie him to a stake near Gigi's stables, that might have something to do with it.



With that, I think we're ready to continue our search for the royal brothers!



We're back on the road towards the Bottomless Canyon, War Journal, and we're going through Mokushu forest towards yet another independent nation, Mokushu. What is it with Hoshidans having independent nations not just adjacent to their territory, but inside of it? It seems like the silliest thing and I can't even fathom how it came about.



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Well whaddya know, War Journal? It turns out that yet another neutral territory is trying to kill us! Nohr apparently made a deal with them. See, this is what happens when you let sovereign nations run rampant like that. Garon took care of all of Nohr's years ago!



I know enough about daggers and shuriken by now to know that this could be problematic and extremely annoying. If I'm not careful, my army's defenses will be in tatters extremely quickly.



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The battle gets off to a decent start. Team ZeZu takes down the initial ninja, I have Azura sing her out of the enemy range she jumped into, and really that's all I want to do at first, I want to get a gauge for what the enemy's behavior will be like. These are ninjas, after all. Mozu levels up decently, but more importantly, she's finally graduated to rank D in naginatas!



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Fun development: We found Takumi! Tragically, he seems to have gone insane. Azura, bless her, seems convinced that singing to him will drive him out of madness, rather than further into it. Right. If she wants to, be my guest.



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...Why am I the only one who sees how horrible her song is? Well, plus side, we got Takumi back, and he's ready to fight with us. God damn that bow is awesome. It's enough to one-shot ninjas left and right!



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The enemy continues advancing in large numbers, and I run out of space to hide, so I elect to face them off and clear some breathing room in one frontal assault.



I'm successful! I arrange it so that Takumi will kill the next advancing ninja (with a reduction to his strength that won't jeopardize his one-hit kill power)...



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...When suddenly this happens. Right. Of course. Ninjas.



Thankfully the spikes turn out to do negligible damage. Nevertheless I back up a bit to avoid unnecessary risks.



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Kaze gains a spectacular level up.



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...I don't understand what just happened, War Journal.



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Takumi shows extreme amounts of promise!



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I make a tiny miscalculation with my placement. I've done the math and Silas should literally just barely survive, but it depends entirely on whether or not those spikes he's standing on can kill, and I'm not using one of my best units and my only cavalier as a guinea pig to figure out the truth of the matter. I use the panic button.



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It's humiliating to be doing this much turtling, but the reinforcements are really well positioned. With Takumi's help I hope to go on the offensive again.



In an impressive display, Kaze leaps onto Subaki's pegasus's back, flies with him over to an archer, switches to the front and softens up the archer for me to come in and finish off, and then Takumi finishes off the diviner.



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Damn it all, why do they keep sending out archers and diviners from this exact spot!? Guess I picked a bad time to class change...



Thankfully Takumi can take care of them.



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And with my twelfth step on my path to greatness, we've finally cleared those hateful reinforcements. Time to continue forward before they decide to send in ninjas who can actually pick locks!



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...These traps are more of a nuisance than anything, really.



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I successfully executed an air raid of the enemy's chest, and got two more mulligans for my trouble!



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And at long last, I have graduated out of baby clubs!



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This sounds intimidating, and it is to anybody with an axe, but the guy has pretty pathetic offensive specs, so I'm thinking I just need to attack him head-on with a sword.



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Silas doesn't quite cut it, so seeing no risk to myself, I leap in to finish him off, and my aim is true!



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Step thirteen on my path to greatness.



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And last but not least, let's finish off this battle by killing the defenseless medic and looting their corpse for staves! Good fun!



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Now that we finally have a chance to talk, my new star player Takumi tells us he actually fell into the bottomless canyon. A lot of people seem to be doing that lately and surviving. However, he lost track of Ryoma and has no idea where he is, so I'll let you know when more informa



More information has arrived. A lovely lady ninja we rescued tells us he was headed for Cheve due to some kind of civil unrest in Nohr. Fascinating. Not fun, but fascinating. Looks like we're headed back to Nohr already, War Journal. Funny. I barely got to visit outside of the northern fortress, and now my first visit to Cheve will be as a traitor. No matter. They will accept me in the end. I won't allow for any other outcome.


Edited by Alastor15243

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Entry 12

Dear War Journal,

Before we took our little ship cruise to Cheve, I figured I should, as always, build up the mighty land of East Dakota!

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Apparently access to a new resource counts as a consolation prize in this lottery. Suits me just fine, now to bet it in the arena to secure a decent supply of it.

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Oh look, it's that ninja that I've never allowed to throw a single shuriken, with absolutely nobody helping him. No thanks.

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Speaking of ninjas, here's our newest member, Kagero. She's surprisingly... physically... oriented for a ninja. In fact, Silas is the only person in the army who's stronger than her, and he's more experienced! Somehow. Despite him being a new recruit. And despite her doing this for years.

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A little decorating of the main square, along with our new hot springs, scenically located right next to the prison!

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I've also added a Kaze statue to the statues of Silas and me that I had previously.

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So not only are the dragon vein things terrible artists, but they think I look exactly like Kaze. Not the worst man to be called a look-alike of, War Journal, to be sure, but still. Why.

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In celebration of my new access to better weapons, I visited the smithy and had this lovely thing forged. Stronger than the Yato, a little less accurate, but with a critical bonus to it. The name came to me in a weird dream of that beefcake and some other blue haired guy fighting.

Now to check out the hot spring! I instituted a mandatory mixed bathing policy, and tried to add in a no swimsuit policy, but there was an uproar. Gods. Fine, you can wear swimsuits.

...Of course for some people even that is too embarrassing apparently.

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I AM A WALKING FOOT FETISH, YOU PRUDISH COW! How dare you speak to me of shame with your borderline-infantile cloth wraps!? I could charge into battle in a goddamned thong if it didn't chafe my ass like crazy when I ride Gigi! ...How the hell does Camilla do it?

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...Moving onto happier news, behold: Orochi's finally shaping up to become a competent member of the army! Maybe now I can finally put her fabled tying-up skills to work! In fact, she's so awesome that I think I just might erect a statue of her in her honor!

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...Maybe I should start commissioning statues of people I hate.

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Incidentally I only just realized that Azura is basically the best-trained soldier in my army, myself included. I'm sure that won't have any significant effects on our marriage in any way whatsoever.

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Aaaahhhh, now this is more like it! My new star soldier and his retainer ladyfriend! Sure I'll bet my pearl on these two! With that bow of his he'll surely sweep the-

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He can't bring it!?

...I nearly lost my Pearl due to an extremely unlucky miss on Takumi's part, but then Oboro finished him off with a really lucky dual strike I was sure would miss.

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More exotic resources given away as throwaway prizes at the lottery!

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I got this thing, which is supposed to help heal us during... invasions? Well, never hurts to be prepared. Except it does when you're wasting resources you're really short on. But my adventures mean I've got plenty!

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Also, due to people whining about something along the lines of “cruel and unacceptable working conditions” and finally having the dvp to spare, I built the damn mess hall. Let's see what comes of it.

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Impress me.

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What? Feeding my soldiers makes them fight better!? Who knew! I went with fish, we've got a steady supply of that stuff and speed is easily the most important stat. It resulted in a slight speed bonus to half of my army, including most of the important ones. Excellent! But just in case something went horribly wrong I had a backup skirmish mission lined up to get it out of everyone's system. But no, this is a good bonus, I don't feel like wasting this on a skirmish. Off to Cheve!

Good gods, War Journal, I can't stand the sea. I don't know what it is about it, I don't need to be on solid ground, Gigi is just fine for me, but a ship... oh god, the slow yet unpredictable movements... hell, I felt more comfortable while I was falling headfirst into the bottomless canyon! Oh god... here it comes...

I just asked the captain how long this hateful voyage would last, and he told me that we'd be in Nohr by tomorrow... if the wind is good.

War Journal... we're on a steamboat.

Realizing that this man clearly was not the captain but a Nohrian spy who killed the real captain, stole his clothes, and tossed the body overboard before even bothering to figure out what kind of boat he was on, I immediately took action. I subdued him, tied him up by the legs, strung the other end of the rope to the bow of the ship, and tossed him over, finally getting a chance to practice my interrogation technique I've been working on with Gigi. I flew straight at the upside-down dangling man, Gigi letting out a mighty shriek, only to veer away and narrowly miss by inches, the man screaming all the while, when Azura heard the commotion and demanded to know what I was doing. I explained our situation to her.

...Apparently wind plays a factor in the speed of the journey no matter what type of boat it is.

...I began freeing the man, Azura profusely apologizing for my “behavior” all the while, and I started begging the great dusk dragon for something that could distract from this unbearable awkwardness.

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War Journal, my prayers have been answered! We're under attack!

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Air units as far as the eye can see, War Journal. Including some really nasty promoted ones... from... both Hoshidan and Nohrian disciplines? Just what the hell are these people?

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I know this shouldn't freak me out more than the whole purple and invisible thing, but still...

Anyway, archers are such a must that I actually wound up bringing out Setsuna despite her having literally no experience since I got her. Bows are just going to be that handy, and these guys are going to be dangerous if I can't kill them as quickly as they come. I also bring Azama, my backup healer, for the same reason. I'll be leading Hinoka and Subaki to bring the fight to the southern ones, carrying all the healing items we have between them due to not having a flying healer. Note to self: get on that.

These guys are going to be rushing at us really quickly, and again, they have to be killed just as quickly or it'll mean death.The slightest mistake could be fatal and have permanent consequences for the strength of my army.

...Let's do this.

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This thing seems like a good place to start.

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I have all my ground units take shelter in the tempest, except for Takumi, who I've positioned precisely so that he's in the edge of the ranged attack range of both the malig knight and the wyvern rider with the throwing axe. He can survive both, and the malig knight will definitely go for him, while due to a mistake of placement the wyvern knight with the throwing axe might go for Silas instead if he's not stupid. I had him equip his kodachi just in case.

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Helloooo.... a new ally?

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And she's promoted? And a flier? And a bow user? And has good stats? And has an ability that means she doesn't need a flying healer to heal while flying? ALL AT THE SAME TIME!? Lady, I could disregard that repulsive scar on your face and make sweet sweet love to you right here and now! Just say the word! Your mount or mine!?

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Orochi apparently doesn't know how to capture and tie up people who are invisible. Go figure.

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I've been taking this opportunity to train my two rather physically weak but reasonably tanky sky knights in the hopes of catching them up a bit with my star players. I'd like some backup on these sorts of missions after all. Then again, Reina could be all the backup I need... but then... I haven't seen her “level up” yet...

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Speaking of levelups, Hinoka and Silas got some pretty great ones...

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...And I, sadly, did not.

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...One of these days War Journal, mark my words, one of these days one of these delightful unrestricted throwing weapons will. Be. MINE!

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HOW. CAN. A. SKY. KNIGHT. BE. THIS. SLOW!?

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This neat tempest Sakura summoned for us with a dragon vein has made this actually nowhere near as difficult as I thought it would be. It's practically a cakewalk! I'm almost disappointed.

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...And then everyone goes on the move.

Everyone.

At once.

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Everyone immediately retreats into the safety of the tempest while my fliers take cover from that damned Kinshi knight.

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...This could be bad. ...Keep it together, Dakota, you can make it through this!

Now I could have Reina take care of that Kinshi knight, but the problem is she has a reasonable chance to miss, and if she does, she's dead in one hit. Damn these bow dogfights are brutal.

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No, it seems the only choice is to get Takumi in on the action.

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Having temporarily given up on Subaki for the time being due to his atrociously stagnant speed, I decide to have him make himself useful and use the mere fact that he is a sky knight to allow Reina to double that falcon knight and get a better hope of killing it before it does serious damage.

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With that done, I prepare Silas to intercept some of these northern fliers.

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...Oh gods. I think I made a terrible mistake.

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Miraculously, she survives the encounter. This is the second time I've nearly lost a valuable team member due to forgetting about dual strikes. Have I gotten complacent? NEVER!

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Nevertheless, my position has gotten a little bit nasty. Azura can make it to shelter, but Takumi is out in the open, and I left my rescue rod with Felicia! I have to make sure I minimize the danger he's put in. Thankfully I don't have to worry about dual attacks since Kaze's with him, but...

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Alright, I've done the math. If I calculated correctly, Takumi should be guaranteed to survive this, even assuming both wyvern knights successfully hit him. However, it will be close, and because of the inconvenient positioning of a nearby malig knight, he will have to begin the next turn totally cornered and unable to move until I free him. I will have to be careful about what I do next turn. I really wish I hadn't separated the air force from the rest of the group like I wound up doing.

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One plus side to that decision, however, was that the enemies split up too, and I think I can handle this now.

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Incidentally, here's how my air force is doing. Gods, Reina is going to be an ama-

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...Small sample size, Dakota. Small... sample... size...

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Anyway, the ground team got everything cleared up, and I've almost dealt with my division of the enemy.

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Hinoka, unlike some sky knights, is turning out pretty good. Her strength isn't looking too hot, however. But now I know that there's an excellent anti-air career opportunity for her!

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Takumi, you magnificent smug bastard, finish him!

Well, that went well.

However, after our resounding victory, one among their number (who looks oddly... almost primally familiar, though I can't quite recall), one in a hood despite being basically completely invisible, tried to attack both Azura and Takumi! Again! I was having none of that, and searched for a nearby heavy object to hurl in his direction. All I had nearby was the captive Zola, however, so I simply went with that. Crisis averted!

...Oh, and Zola survived too, for the record. Anyway, I was hoping this would smooth everything over with the captain, but mostly he's just completely terrified of all of us now, and he's only still taking us to Nohr because at this point it's the quickest way to get away from us short of jumping off the ship into the storm-tossed sea.

Which, incidentally, he did consider.

We will be in the port city of Cyrkensia on the morrow, War Journal. Until then.


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Entry 13

Dear War Journal,

I decided we should get some downtime back at the pan-dimensional castle before proceeding. Thankfully time doesn't pass normally, so any time-sensitive stuff should still be waiting for us when we get back.

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Sakura asked me for some fashion advice, and I suggested this spare tiara. Aww, isn't she adorable?

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I've upgraded the abode of our beloved mascot, Lilith!

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And now there's a statue of our new star bow user, Takumi!

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...They boost stats, Dakota, remember that.

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I'm checking out the guys too, y'know, and they put up with it! GODS!

Anyway, I took Hayato on some training with Sakura, and then found out I can build this:

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...I'm not even going to bother finding out what it looks like at this point.

Anyway, I took Azura on one of the training trips with Hayato and right now I'd grade our relationship an “A”! Soon I will be able to PROPOSE THE GLORIOUS PROPOSITION!

Oh, and Hayato and Sakura are getting closer too.

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I also took the opportunity to fortify my base with some turrets. Any hypothetical invaders will be hard-pressed to do their invading now!

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Got the silver prize again. Woo. Frankly I would've liked some more resources instead of this.

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Speaking of resources, we're out of fish, and the others are in short supply, but I can never say no to Lilith, so I give her a Daikon. Guess I better hope I can win the next arena challenge.

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Speak of the devil!

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I've erected something called an “Einherjar shop”. No idea what it does, but... it's round, I guess.

Right, I think that's enough, on to this “Cyrkensia” place!

...So, turns out Cyrkensia isn't part of Nohr, but a neutral kingdom called Nestra. Oh tidings of merriment and jubilation, another neutral kingdom! I'm sure we won't have to fight for our lives this time!

...That said... this is a remarkably posh place. I can imagine sitting back and relaxing here with a nice bottle of wine and oh sweet Dusk Dragon War Journal there's a man with fox ears on his head I want one we must have him.

Okay so here's the deal, War Journal. The fox-eared man, bless him, has some kind of favor fetish and absolutely has to help out some singer whose mother is dying or something and needs somebody to fill in for her, but he can't because he can't sing. We, however, have somebody who can. Not only that, but the performance is for Garon himself, which means we have a perfect opportunity to assassinate him and end this whole adventure right now! All we need to do is have Azura sing and distract him long enough for me to get up to his private booth and give him the axe, thereby killing one bird with one stone and getting a free puppy!

...Only one problem with this plan. Azura's... rather tenuous grasp of how lyricwriting works. Not to worry. I've listened to her song long enough that it's gotten stuck in my head, so to preserve my sanity I constructed acceptable replacement lyrics for it long ago to sing to myself:

You are the gray ocean waves

destined to seek life beyond the shore just out of reach.

Yet... still the tides ever change

flowing like time, like the path you must climb.

Note that only the change to the third line is truly strictly necessary. The change to the first line merely makes it easier to say, as “cean's gray” is a big mouthful to say in that quick succession of two syllables, “ocean” is much easier to say in that part. As for the change to the last one, well, the original was also technically a syllable emphasis issue when it comes to the patterns of everyday speech, but it wasn't as egregious as the whole “wadurrs” thing, I just changed it while I was at it.

I have supplied these lyrics to Azura. If she uses these while performing her song, Garon will surely be mesmerized. Even as we speak I prepare to give him the axe, when...

Azura: You are the ocean's gray waves...

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Oh no.

Azura: ...destined to seek life beyond the shore just out of reach...

Oh dear gods please no Azura don't do this.

Azura: Yet the waters ever change...

AZURA YOU FOOL YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL!

...Needless to say, Garon was not pleasantly entranced. He was enraged. He shook with uncontrollable anger as he watched Azura sing her blasphemous song, and in his wild rampage I was discovered. Gigi immediately flew in to defend me and in a horrifying instant I thought I would lose her as Garon slashed at her with his terrifying axe. Thankfully, the blow was absorbed by the bundle of chains on her back carrying Zola. Oh, and by Zola himself. Yeah, he's dead now. Just for the record. But that's not important. I've escaped on Gigi's back and now I need to get Azura and the others out of here immediately, or we're dead.

Azura: Dakota! What's wrong!? What happened?


Dakota: Why didn't you use my lyrics!?

Azura: They're the same thing, I don't understand what on earth you're talking about!

Dakota: And oh sweet Dusk Dragon what was with that new bit!?

Azura: I... I added that after hearing Izana's prophecy...

Dakota: Azura... did you just stuff random words into a melody without thought for where the words went?

Azura: I... maybe...?

Dakota: We're all going to die.

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Garon: YOU! BLUE-HAIRED HOSHIDAN WENCH!

Azura: ...Me?

Garon: FROM WHAT WRETCHED HELLFIERY ABYSS DO YOU SUMMON THE AUDACITY TO STRESS THE “ERS” IN “WATERS” AND THE “BLE” IN “DOUBLE”!?

Azura: I, uh um... did I mention I'm your long lost daughter...?

Garon: GUARDS! KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!

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So, looks like we've got an escape mission on our hands, and the exit is up on the stage. Being a flying unit I could easily make a break for the exit and save myself, but I'm not sure if my minions would be able to follow me quite so easily, and frankly I'm going to need them, so to play it safe we'll try to get everyone out of here. There are a ton of armored and mounted units on this map, including some promoted armored and mounted units. And by that I mean all the promoted units are both armored and mounted. But there's some good news on that front!

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This adorable creature has joined us! And he tells me he's an expert in taking down anything remotely associated with a ground-based mammal! Excellent!

Also, learning my lesson, I have both Azama and Sakura carrying rescue rods. Furthermore, I think I'm gonna have Azura take a break from singing for now and ride with me instead. The sooner she falls in love with me, the better, and frankly she's “helped” quite enough for one day with that singing of hers. There are bow-users everywhere, but since flight is going to be so handy here, and since I'm already flying anyway and can't simply do away with flying units entirely, I'm brining Hinoka and (sigh) Subaki with me. I also cashed in a few of the gold bars Lilith's been giving me to get some tonics for some of those who need them. Subaki gets speed, strength and defense, I get speed, strength and defense, Hinoka gets strength and defense, and Takumi gets defense so he can pull a crucial opening move gambit that should make the beginning of this battle much easier.

Let's do this.

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See those two outlaws, the knight, and the cavalier? They all have ranged attacks, and they're all conveniently positioned to be able to strike, at the furthest, the exact same spot, the spot where Takumi is positioned with Oboro. I've calculated that thanks to his defense tonic not only can he survive all of this (with dual guard buffer to serve as a safety net against any error in calculation), but his counterattacks will kill all of them in return, clearing out a significant bit of breathing room for us. There is the chance that the lower outlaw will instead make a dash for a treasure chest that's somehow positioned in the middle of the dock inside a public theatre, which is odd (but then again, so is the concept of a theatre having a dock to begin with I guess), but I have backup plans for that as well, and either way, we won't have to worry about him encroaching on our territory. That great knight can't reach quite the same spot, so he's not an immediate concern, though he will be soon.

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Through some careful positioning with me first throwing a club at the fighter, Hinoka taking down the outlaw while fighting beside me, and then Subaki exploiting the damage I did and the boost from Hinoka's aura to one-shot the fighter, we manage to clear a portion of the upper boats. The great knight blocking the entrance might be tough though, but for now we're safely outside of his attack range. So far so good.

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...And then big brother Xander's forces show up. And he is pissed. Oh gods, am I really going to have to fight him...? How could this possibly get any worse!?

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...It's like a goddamned physical law when people say that.

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Okay, even if I wanted to, there's no way I can fight him. At first I thought Kaden might be able to literally just barely take a hit from him and then do some damage, but no, turns out he'd be instantly obliterated thanks to that sword and those skills, after only doing just 5 damage to him despite his anti-beast bonus. We have to run. Immediately.

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Thankfully, Lilith provided me with a quick message (somehow... was she in my mind!?) saying that only I need to escape, and that due to something about how the energies are flowing at the moment, if I get out of danger, I can teleport the others to safety via East Dakota. Excellent! This is fantastic news, for it means we can actually try to make a run for that chest. I'll just use my air force to prepare my escape, and race Xander to that chest (if he gets to it, or more specifically the water-freezing dragon vein next to it, we're done for) then instantly teleport out before any consequences arise. We should also take the opportunity to do whatever training we can before things get out of hand.

A bit of more good news: I made it to axe/club level C!

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Time to bait the great knight and get going to stop that thief! Show us what you can do, Kaden!

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OH MY GOD I NEED MORE OF THEM SOMEBODY MAKE BABIES WITH THIS MAGNIFICENT CREATURE I'D DO IT MYSELF BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE YOU KNOW PENIS

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Kaden: Beautiful and deadly!

YES YES YES ALL THE YES WAR JOURNAL!

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After that magnificent display, I have my ground team advance some more, with Takumi preparing to counterattack more ranged units.

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I go towards the exit and let Azura off so she can kill whatever excess time we have singing to me to build up a relationship. YES THIS IS TOTALLY HOW TO MAKE SOMEBODY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WAR JOURNAL! My air team stands by to take out the outlaw if he makes it to the chest first, steal his loot, and then not suffer any consequences from the other bowmen because we'll be out of there before they can act.

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...Interesting, War Journal. It would appear that Xander and his posse are specifically after me, not just my group. They changed course completely the instant I landed on the stage. Excellent! I can play cat and mouse with them a bit by moving between ground and air to buy my minions time!

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In fact, I think I can get the treasure without worrying about bowmen at all if I play my cards this upcoming turn right! I could get rid of this bowman and enough of the other nearby enemies in time to fly in with my sky knights without anyone dying! Let's see how that works out.

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Oh that is so going to be mine, you little maggot.

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...Right, this should most likely work. If it doesn't, we're out of here this instant.

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Success!

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And with that, I see no further reason to endanger everyone here!

...Well, War Journal, that was... sobering. My fears have come true. Xander is truly prepared to kill me, and I really will have to fight him eventually. I almost had to do it today, but Elise, bless her heart, stood between us and bought me time to warp to East Dakota.

At least one of my siblings still loves me.

War Journal, it's only going to get tougher from here on out. I'll need to keep my wits about me and my steel sharp, and the same goes for everyone else in my army. The real battle is only beginning.

...Oh, incidentally, Azura has been behaving... rather off lately. She's been panting and heaving almost constantly, it's unnerving. I don't know what to make of it, but hopefully it's nothing.

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Entry 14

Dear War Journal,

I have wonderful news!

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Azura and I have just been married! Yes! With this our places on the Nohrian throne have been secured!

...Only one problem, War Journal.

...Well, not so much a problem but...

...Well, uh...

Okay so basically, Lilith waits until just now to tell me that there are certain... side-effects... to living for too long in a castle stuck in a pan-dimensional pocket of spacetime like we've been doing... okay backing up...

First off, we consummated our relationship, War Journal. It was glorious. I reclined on my side in bed with the covers draped just barely over my glorious draconic serpent, beckoning her over, and she nervously came over, yada yada yada, that whole song and dance, and so on and so forth...

...I wake up the next morning to discover Azura is pregnant.

And not like “I did some magical pregnancy test and discovered she was with child”, oh no, I mean she had a huge full-on 9-months-in baby bump, and I woke up to the sounds of her crying out when her water broke.

...Yeah. So... I'm a daddy now.

Oh but it doesn't end there, War Journal.

...The babies (note the plural – she gave birth to twins at warp speed; she's been in a terrifying mood all day) were born and remained babies for about two hours. And then just kept growing. And growing. And growing.

Basically we had to take the babies and seal them in this place called the Deeprealms or they'd just rapidly age into dust. Lilith estimates they should be in their mid to late teens or so by the time they stop aging. We can pick them up at our leisure now, though she says there might be some difficulties in getting them. We may be in for a fight.

...Azura is furious, screaming up and down the courtyard in a rage like I've never seen her in before, something about being “cheated out of the early joys of motherhood” or something. Me? I'm ecstatic! First thing I thought of was that this means we can create new soldiers basically out of nothing if we get our current soldiers hitched! ...Well no, to be perfectly honest the first thing I thought was “Oh, so that's why she spontaneously vomited in my face mere moments after I climaxed. It was instant morning sickness, for a second there I thought I was just really awful”. But I digress. Getting everyone married off is even more beneficial than I thought, War Journal! THE SHEER POSSIBILITIES!

...The women are going to complain, probably, but such is necessary for victory in war!

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Also, the decision to tie the knot came while we were doing some more training of Kaze and Mozu (I've slacked off a bit on those two in recent times I regretfully confess). Guess who I got a statue of?

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I bet it's not even female.

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Oh, and I made a fort within a fort and upgraded the fishing hole. More fish for Lilith and I guess also for my army!

Lilith says I'm probably not ready to deal with the trouble that comes with trying to pick the kids up yet though, so I think I'm gonna give it a bit more time. Which means it's time to continue on the real journey of ours!

...In a bit. It's been a weird day, I figure I'll rest a bit.

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...So incidentally, War Journal, between now and my last entry, we were attacked. Yeah, that can apparently happen. It was fairly trivial, honestly. They were more interested in smashing my stuff (which repaired itself after battle, for the record) than attacking us. They even smashed the dawn dragon replica, and no, War Journal, it did not contain another legendary weapon inside of it. Pity. Pictured above: my lovely, profoundly grumpy wife laying waste to some of the fools who dared attack us. Good gods, she's ridiculously powerful even with a brass naginata. If only she had a little more defense I'd consider putting her on the front lines!

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I have assigned Rinkah to baby fox making duty. Her class excellently covers up Kaden's weaknesses, so they will make lightning bruiser fox babies! ...She is reluctant to get into any sort of relationship at the moment after hearing the horror stories Azura told her. Oh I'm sorry, Rinkah, I didn't realize you wanted to make no commitment to this army whatsoever. I haven't asked much of you, Rinkah, you've basically just been a walking piece of equipment for whoever I needed to be a bit beefier, but if you don't even want to commit to the job of shooting adorable fox puppies out of your ladyhole, I wouldn't want to impose! You will fall in love with the glorious fox man and that is final, Rinkah!

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I “upgraded” “my” “statue”. Dare I dream it vaguely resembles me now!?

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Oh nice upgrade, dragon veins, you painted it chrome.

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Now here's a nice find by Rinkah! Well done, young lady, but you're not getting out of your patriotic duty just because of this!

Anyway, time to move on!

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So we've finally arrived in Cheve, where Ryoma is supposed to be.

...We're in Nohr now, War Journal. Nohr. Avoiding conflict with my adoptive family is going to be impossible now. I will eventually be forced to fight Xander at least, and probably Leo, though not Elise I hope. To be honest though, I don't know where Camilla stands on this. Oh Camilla. Dear sweet gorgeous Camilla. Oh, a married man shouldn't be having such thoughts... much less speaking them in hushed tones mere meters from his comrades to dictate to his journal. I wonder

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And she's here and hugging me. Oh sweet Dusk Dragon have I missed this. Good, now forcibly shove my head downwards like you used to-

AHEM! Right. Sometimes I forget that I'm actually talking when I dictate to you, War Journal. Gotta remember that. But more importantly...

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...I should've been expecting this, in all honesty. Right. Time to get Orochi out here to safely capture and subdue big sister, then I can sit her down in the prison and calmly, gently explain to her why Garon is a lying sack of shit and why she should join us in fighting him.

...War Journal... Orochi refused. She stated, in no uncertain terms, that she would refuse to do anything other than kill Camilla.

Oh she made all sorts of excuses, War Journal, all sorts of excuses. She said that Camilla would “make it really weird”. “The way she's dressed, the way she talks, she'd probably start moaning when I tried tying her up and I just can't handle that, Lord Dakota!”.

Bull. Shit. She just wants blood. She wants revenge for the death of the queen. Minions, those she'd be happy to restrain, but she's made it quite clear, War Journal. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, she will not assist me in nonlethally subduing any of the higher-ups in Nohr. She wants them all to die.

I'm... gonna have to fight big sister, War Journal.

...I'm going to have to kill big sister.

...Calm down, Dakota. Focus. You've made your decision. You've taken your bride and prepared to become the legitimate heir to the throne. There's no turning back now. Garon must die, and anyone insane enough to stand with him, no matter how much you may care for them, must be cut down.

Time for battle plans.

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As I figured, it's not going to be as simple as just siccing Takumi on her. That bowbreaker skill, combined with her weapon triangle advantage through tomes, means she'll be exceedingly difficult to hit with bows. On the plus side, both of her weapons look physically and magically draining to use, so... if it really comes to it... I can draw this out in a painful battle of attrition until I can kill her.

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These are her retainers. They don't look nearly as tough, and I really want that katana Selena is carrying.

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And oh hey, Hans! I see you got yourself promoted! Somehow. I can't believe it took me this long to kill this guy, War Journal. The injury my pride suffered when he killed my useless retainer will not go unavenged!

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Here's who I decided to bring, War Journal. I'm putting team ZeZu back in action before they seriously fall behind. Due to the abundance of wyverns I'm also bringing Reina and Takumi (like I would ever not bring him whatever the circumstances) as well as Oboro so I can actually start training her. She's been on the sidelines too long and there's still a chance to salvage her, so I might as well. Silas and Hana are a given, as are Kaden and Rinkah, Azura and myself, and my two healers Azama and Sakura.

...Alright. Let's do this.

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My opening gambit is to exploit initial placement to do a double-dose of relationship building with team ZeZu by having them both attack together twice.

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Next I have Silas visit this house to see if the locals will help their glorious future ruler, making sure all the while to calculate he can survive what foes my dragonvision says will be in range. And for our troubles, we get a heart seal from an old man. Excellent!

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...Frankly I don't know what other conclusion could be made with the fox ears and all. For our trouble we get spirit dust! Also excellent!

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The mounted units are charging us. Decidedly not excellent! Planning time!

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Right, I think I can handle this. Between his defense, dual guards, not to mention his evasion chance, Silas is guaranteed to survive the onslaught of three cavaliers and three wyvern riders if he plugs up the pathway here.

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...Incidentally I had another reason for bringing Reina. I haven't gathered enough data to confirm it and it may just be superstition, but it seems that for whatever reason, Azura learns more from singing by singing to more experienced people. Now that I no longer need to bolster our relationship, that means that Reina is now our new target for sing spamming when we have time to spare. I want to see what other skills Azura can get, that last one was killer.

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My strategy was a success by a longshot, but more cavaliers and wyvern riders are coming from all over, so I have to remain on my guard.

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I decide to give Kaden some more fighting practice.

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Not in the glorious land of East Dakota, Kaden. Not in the glorious land of East Dakota.

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...Oh no. I think I may have misjudged the situation. Are these outlaws here to do what I dread that they're here to do? They're Nohrian soldiers and not random bandits, so surely not... but if they are...

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Absolutely not! I have Kaden move in (he gets a talisman) and all of my most mobile units, myself included, race to stop them, while still being careful not to overstep what we can survive.

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Sadly, the northeastern house is too close to the bandits for us to save, and whatever precious prize was within it is gone now. I will never even know what it was. The easternmost house also appears to be too far to save...

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...but that is because you aren't me, War Journal.

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For my masterful strategy, I'm rewarded with a wane festal rod, a long-range healing rod. Excellent!

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Finally, I have Kaden prepare to take on that wyvern lord and possibly one of the outlaws. Not sure. Either way, he can survive.

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Our valiant tactics earn us a staggering windfall.

...And with that, stability! Now we just have to deal with the enemies ordered to attack when we approach.

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...Gotta keep an eye out for this area and avoid it at all costs. Camilla can use a dragon vein right next to her to call lightning down upon it and render everyone in that area a hair's breadth from death. Thankfully we have such veins near us too, but not too many look very convenient at the moment, and it'll probably get us more experience to kill them the normal way.

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Despite my best efforts to, when tackling Hans, get somebody most likely to neutralize his scary critical rate (I used Kaden with his dodge bonus on his weapon and bolstered him with Rally Luck from Azama), it seems I was unsuccessful, but only just barely. But surely that one in 200 chance won't occur here...

...It didn't, thank goodness.

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...And with this, my honor is avenged!

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Step fifteen on my path to greatness.

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...Let's get this over with, War Journal. Kaze's the best suited to taking the first hit from Camilla. He'll poison her and reduce her defenses so that my other units can do some damage, without taking much damage himself due to his ludicrous resistance. If the others come charging in, only that Beruka girl will be able to get here fast enough to really mess with my plans, and she's easy to deal with.

...Let's go.

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...Amazing level up by Kaze. Woo.

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...Camilla... forgive me...

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(Miss)

Reina: ...You can't do it, can you?

Dakota: ...No. I'm sorry, no, I can't.

Reina:...

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Reina: ...I can.

Dakota: NOOOOOOOO!

What? She's... she's still alive! She barely held on! We managed to subdue her! Yes! Once we take care of the others, maybe we can finally talk some sense into her!

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...Speaking of the others... They all rush me at once as soon as their commander falls.

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Beruka isn't so tough at all.

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I prepare Takumi and Kaze to soften up the incoming outlaw-backed generals.

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To make sure Takumi lands both of his next shots, I have Reina force the enemy to waste their upcoming dual guard.

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I don't care, Takumi! Suck from now on forever if you want! CAMILLA IS ALIVE!

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...Oh, and good for you, honey!

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Time to finish their last leader off.

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Dakota: Do I know you?

Selena: Figures. Doesn't matter if you remember me or not though. I'll make you pay for what you did to Lady Camilla!

Dakota: Camilla is fine.

Selena: Oh I beg to differ! She's still with you, isn't she!?

Dakota: I won't let you take her back until I finish explaining things to her!

Selena: Oh that's cute. You think you can beat me? You couldn't even begin to comprehend what I've lived through.

BAM!

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Takumi: Anything like that?

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Right, now to explain things to Camilla!

...Okay, War Journal, good news, bad news sort of thing.

Good news: Camilla believes me about what Garon's done.

Bad news: Leo does not.

Oh yeah, Leo came. ...And he took Camilla. As did Hans. Who apparently also survived. Damn it, why did Leo have to be so headstrong! If he just gave me a few minutes...

Oh yeah, more good news: the resistance that some of the villagers were talking about came. And guess who was with them!

...You're a book. You can't guess.

It's Ryoma. Cleverly disguised as a general. So yeah, Ryoma's with us now! Maybe he'll actually join our army! Maybe Camilla can explain what I told her to the others! Things are finally looking up!


Edited by Alastor15243

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