Screenshot Dakota's War Journal (Semiblind Fire Emblem Fates RP/LP) (Send me your castles!)

[Alastor15243]

Entry 25

 

 

Dear War Journal,

 

The days since recruiting Rhajat have been... complicated.

 

 

While her lust for the glory of battle is certainly encouraging, and she's definitely a more useful Onmyoji than her mother due to her vastly superior stats...

 

 

...The soldiers still continue to needlessly complain about nonsense about “threats to their lives”, as well as her behavior, which they find creepy and disconcerting. Mostly because she alternates between antisocial, introverted emo goth and...

 

Rhajat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! THE BLOOD AND THE THUNDER HAVE CLAIMED ABSOLUTE DOMINION OVER THE EAST DAKOTAN ACCESSORY SHOP!

 

No big deal, we barely use the place.

 

Her growing infatuation with me, to be frank, War Journal, is adorable. Why, just this morning she sent me the most delightful love letter, etched into the flesh of a freshly-slain corpse she (somehow) chucked through my treehouse window, which finished off with a cute little flesh-doodle of her blowing a kiss and saying “write me <3”.

 

My wife was of course deeply perturbed by that, but...

 

 

Look at these stats! She surpasses Orochi in everything but skill and a bit of luck! I can't just kick her out!

 

 

But sadly this does nothing to change the simple fact that her own parents are terrified of her. Hayato in particular, owing to some combination of the serious verbal abuse the possessed Orochi threw at him and the shit he now has to put up with from his own daughter (also, apparently, the fact that he's “way too young to be having kids” or some such nonsense if Robin and Azura are to be taken seriously) means that I wound up having to schedule a leisurely hunting expedition to help take Hayato's mind off it. We both gained some valuable experience, and I took step 29 on my path to greatness (I got shelter, a skill that, while interesting, is not too suitable for me).

 

 

And then this happened. Another legendary sword art.

 

 

Instantly project “BFFs with Hayato” was put underway and eventually completed. I've come to realize that I have more than enough defense at the moment, and my magical talents will suffer if I remain in this class for longer than I have to to get my hands on Luna. I'll then class change to Basara with this friendship seal for levels 12, 13 and 14 in order to get Rend Heaven. Maybe I'll stick around to see if level 15 gets a new skill, and then I'll switch over to pick up the last skill of Malig Knight and then finally become a “Hoshido Noble”.

 

That'll take a lot of seals, but I have the supplies for it, and I think it'll be worth it.

 

Anyway, moving on to, at long last, continuing the march to Castle Krakenburg!

 

We have arrived at Fort Dragonfall. This is what I love about Nohr. What's the story behind this place? Well, War Journal, a few of our glorious predecessors killed a goddamned elder dragon, and then when its nigh-indestructible corpse inconsiderately refused to rot, they built a castle around it. That, War Journal, is the Nohrian way! And now it is time for us to pass through this glorious landmark of Nohrian history on our way to make Nohrian history.

 

 

Oh look, War Journal, how cute. Iago set up another trap for us.

 

Iago: Yes, Dakota, behold the terrible combined power of my magic and Garon's! I have revived the elder dragon of this fort to make it digest you! But fear not! For I have also summoned a terrible army of faceless to kill you early and spare you that gruesome fate!

 

Rhajat: “Terrible” is right. It took two of you and an elder dragon to make a bunch of pools of acid? I did that in a barren graveyard. When I was three hours old.

 

Dakota: Why, yes, actually, now that you mention it, the results are basically identical.

 

Iago: Wh-wha...?

 

 

Rhajat: And if memory serves correctly, Dakota my love, on that very same occasion, did I not also summon significantly more threatening faceless?

 

Dakota: Why yes, Rhajat, I do believe you did! Several levels stronger! Though they were still no match for me.

 

Rhajat: Of course not, Puppy-Guts.

 

 

Dakota: Yeah, actually, this seems like a great opportunity to just train some of my weaker units. The only new thing from our battle to recruit you is this guy, and I can take him down with shuriken or stones no problem, and I'm bringing Kagero anyway for the chests. This should be a piece of cake.

 

Iago: Y-you lie! This is the work of pure genius! YOU WILL ALL DROWN IN ELDER DRAGON ACID AND WALLOW IN DESPAIR!

 

Rhajat: Oh, so you wish to raise your voice with me, do you? BIG MISTAKE, HALF-FACE! YOUR PLAN WILL FAIL SO CATASTROPHICALLY THAT HAD YOU GRANDCHILDREN, THEY WOULD WISH NOT ONLY THAT THEY HAD NEVER BEEN BORN, BUT THAT YOU HAD NOT EITHER, JUST SO THEY COULD HAVE TWO MORE LAYERS OF NONEXISTENCE TO SHIELD THEMSELVES FROM THE CRUSHING SHAME OF BEING ASSOCIATED WITH YOU! THE BLOOD AND THE THUNDER WILL HAVE SATISFACTION!

 

Iago: ...Eep!

 

Dakota: He's gone. Good riddance. Still, the question remains of how we'll get out of here.

 

Azura: I could sing my song-

 

Dakota: And trigger the dragon's gag reflex! BRILLIANT, AZURA! But first let's get rid of these noisy faceless!

 

Azura: ...Sigh.

 

 

...Begin.

 

 

More faceless spawn in from the acid, just like with Rhajat, so the first order of business is to take them down so that somebody can dragon-vein the acid out of here.

 

 

With some help from Azura, the badly-behind Oboro can take down a faceless with ease.

 

 

Shigure and his shiny new bow take care of the second, and Shigure gets a nifty new skill which now turns him into a deadly anti-air menace, and also mitigates most of the anti-arrow defense any flier with bowbreaker would have. The added accuracy of using a forged bronze weapon takes care of the rest, meaning that no flier has a chance against Shigure now.

 

Kagero takes care of the third and gets some more bow practice.

 

 

And with that, the bog is neutralized and we have breathing room!

 

 

More reinforcements from the next bog, but those are easily blocked off, like so:

 

 

Shigure softens the first one of the advance fighters for Oboro to kill, then Azura sings her back into action, which makes her fast enough to double the next one with a steel naginata. I then move up to plug up the entryway and disarm myself to keep them alive for people who can actually learn something from killing them.

 

 

At this point I split up my forces and dispatch a smaller group to take care of the narrower northern passage and secure the northern treasure chest in case something happens to claim them.

 

 

Realizing how fantastically weak the enemies are, I put Oboro in front so she can clear them all out on the enemy phase, speeding her up to be able to double with a steel naginata by having Azura sing for her again.

 

 

Amazingly, I've reached the point where Kagero is a higher level than her almighty Raijinto-wielding husband, so I put him up front to fight some.

 

 

...Faceless. Thieves. Right. Uh... that... was unexpected. However, I don't see any means for them to escape, so we should just be able to take it from them.

 

 

Ryoma's first level in my group! And boy is it glorious! Strength, Skill, Speed, Luck, Defense and Resistance!

 

 

Boy I wish I had time to get my hands on this.

 

 

And I sure hope I have time to get my hands on this and some weird bullshit won't let this guy escape! Amazing stat drops on this one, three space range, and Kagero can learn to wield it without sacrificing her Giant Mechanical Lion.

 

 

Suddenly training up Kagero's shuriken rank seems more important than training up her bow rank.

 

 

The thieving faceless's next move will put it right where I want it. The bog is neutralized...

 

 

And Oboro has achieved tier 2 as a spear master!

 

 

Your move, creeps.

 

 

And after a glorious slaughter of counterattacks, the spy shuriken is mine!

 

 

Rhajat assists in clearing up a traffic jam due to a freak miss by UNLEASHING ALL OF HELL ITSELF.

 

 

Kagero approaches the second chest, and once that and the third chest are obtained, this battle shall become a cakewalk.

 

 

Chest 2 contained a Seraph Robe, and Chest 3 contained... magical boots that increase movement speed!

 

 

And as if on cue, the central trio of magic counter, counter and nigh-omnibreaker faceless decided to bring the party to us!

 

 

Time to deal with them.

 

Dakota: Hm... counter... Robin, can you explain to me how that works?

 

Robin: Oh? Yes... oh gods, counter... I remember that skill well. Okay... here's how it works, uh... basically, whenever you attack an adjacent enemy with counter, they deal back the damage you dealt them. But here's the thing: it only happens with adjacent physical attacks. Adjacent magical attacks aren't counterable, that's where magic counter comes in. So if you were to, say, attack up-close with... say... Rhajat... to get a bonus to hit rate to improve the chance of killing it... the faceless won't counter her.

 

Dakota: Right, then that's what I'll do!

 

Robin: Thank the gods...

 

Dakota: What was that?

 

Robin: Nothing.

 

 

 

...Robin was mistaken, War Journal. Counter works on all adjacent attacks. Rhajat took a brutal counter to the face, and valiantly dodged the faceless's punch, but as she was not paired up...

 

 

...She took a second, fatal blow from the faceless's partner. Had she or Oboro done one damage more, Rhajat would still be alive.

 

But as it stands, we have lost our first soldier to battle.

 

Rest in peace, Rhajat, your skills will be missed.

 

 

...Let's finish this.

 

 

Alas, Kagero doesn't quite have enough power to finish off the boss faceless in one turn even with her silver shuriken, so it took two less accurate attacks, only the latter one (fittingly from Rhajat's vengeful parents) hitting, to soften him up enough.

 

 

...Done.

 

In a small bit of good news after that tragedy, War Journal, the dragon did not have to vomit us up due to Azura's song, but instead simply opened its mouth. No accounting for taste, I guess. But alas, it turns out that I sorely underestimated the lengths to which the purple ones will go to to make Azura suffer for singing her song.

 

 

Their latest attack upon my wife was absolutely brutal, and for a moment it looked like Azura would be completely destroyed. It appears I have found an entire species of creatures who agree with me regarding my wife's music.

 

And now I find I must destroy them all for having the sheer audacity to agree with me too strongly.

 

But that must wait. Rhajat must be buried, and then we must march further into Nohr.

 

 

Post-entry commentary:

 

 

...Right, this puts a wrench in one of my distant plans. Remember what I said about the Nohr route allowing castle visitors? Does anyone happen to have a file to spare with a Rhajat between level 20-1 and 20-10? I won't say why, but I'd really appreciate it if you could keep that saved to send to me once I start doing the Nohr route.

 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2017 by Alastor15243

[Clarinets]

Rhajat's death

was excellently handled! Great job.

[Alastor15243]

Rhajat's death

was excellently handled! Great job.

Thanks.

Due to a stupid misreading and assumption on my part due to Magic Counter's existence, what Robin told Dakota was what I personally thought was now the case. So... yeah. First death on the battlefield. And it's a character I just got. I feel really stupid. The strength of my army made me get complacent, and I feel like an idiot for it.

[Alastor15243]

Entry 26

Dear War Journal,

I was concerned that the recent death of their, er... beloved daughter... would seriously damage my two best magic users' ability to function in battle and daily life.

Happily it seems I was mistaken, they seem to be getting along just fine.

Everyone else is also doing just fine in the wake of Rhajat's death. As a matter of fact, there really hasn't been any comment on it from my soldiers. I would've at least expected celebration considering her lack of popularity, but no. Nobody seems to care.

But I do, War Journal.

Rhajat's death was the first death in this army that I both had the chance to stop and which happened anyway. I relied on the advice of others, I took a stupid risk, and I've lost a promising magic user as a result. This is an indelible stain on my reputation as a master strategist. A stain that may not have remotely reduced my standing with my team due to her lack of popularity, true, but it is a stain nonetheless.

Rest assured, War Journal: It will not happen again.

Anyway, on to happier news: A massive series of upgrades! The smithy, prison (which I have still yet to use), dawn armory and rod shop have all achieved tier 3! I can now get my fill of weapons up to silver tier and quite a few copies of the more exotic weapons...

I now have an unlimited stock of class changing seals, including this fascinating Eternal Seal that may very well get some use...

And I can forge weapons of up to +7! Sadly, the mineral costs for such a venture are astronomical. It took my entire stock of 15 lapis just to get Gigirant up from tier 3 to 4, and that's the one I have a steady supply of. Then there's the issue of the fact that, due to my skill hunting plans, I do not intend to be in a class that can use this for much longer.

Looks like it's time to train Silas to be Gigirant's successor! I'm sure he'll be delighted.

That's pretty much all there is to say in terms of East Dakota updates! Onward, ever closer to Castle Krakenburg!

So, fun development, War Journal: realizing they're not going to get anywhere by trying to defeat the grand batallion of East Dakota, Garon apparently decided a few weeks ago to exploit the fact that basically everyone competent in Hoshido is currently under my command to attack Hoshido directly. Hoshido was also apparently doing surprisingly well until Nohr got reinforcements from... wait for it... Mokushu! You know! That sovereign kingdom city-state whose leader we killed! And they all thought that would be enough! I really insisted on torching their forests to the ground, burning everyone within the kingdom alive, and salting the scorched earth, but noooooo! They just had to puss out on me and complain about “war crimes” or some such nonsense. This is where it gets you, people!

Anyway, War Journal, this now puts us on a rather unfortunate time limit, which means I feel we probably can't spare any extra time going on hunting expeditions to train. We'll have to work with the battles we get. Otherwise Hoshido will fall. Why do I care if it falls? Simple: if it falls, then control of it passes to Nohr, and then, once I kill Garon, me. And frankly, while I have come to appreciate some of their charms, like their ninjas and their weapon-crafting and their Giant Mechanical Lions, I do not want to become this insane country's babysitter. We have to stop Garon from destroying Hoshido's government and infrastructure before it becomes my problem. As such, we are taking a rather... unorthodox... shortcut.

...Through here. A vile, literal river of fire that Nohrians dare not enter. In fact, none but the bold and the brainless enter here!

Cue the bold!

...And cue the brainless. Yes, the purple ones are back, right on cue after Azura's singing once again earned her their ire. So sorry, purple ones, but that terrible lyricist you seek to destroy happens to be my wife.

And behold! A new enemy! They seem to be artificial life forms akin to the faceless, but the faceless are the creations of Nohrian dark magic. I've yet to see one under the thrall of the purple ones. Coincidence? Or are these stoneborn of different origin to the faceless?

They're pathetically slow both in movement and agility, but they have long-range rock throwing capabilities that I shouldn't underestimate.

Here's the team I decided on. I decided to give Orochi and Hayato some downtime to, uh... “grieve”? (Also Orochi's low defense makes me nervous around these rock throwers and largely physical units on an unconventional battlefield) ...And I'm bringing Felicia for her utility as a human piece of equipment for me in guard stance. I also decided to pair Shigure up with Kana so they can get some quality time together.

Begin.

First off, as usual: I isolate the enemies I want to take out on my first turn, use dragonvision to determine where the enemies I won't kill can attack, and plan my assault so that none of my more fragile units are put in that area.

Gods but these guys are tough. But I can take them.

First, Takumi and Oboro team up to take down the closest one.

Then Silas weakens this one...

...from a location Azura can reach...

...so he can advance into danger territory with his freakish defense and commence his club training...

...then Shigure finishes off the weakened master of arms from a safe position...

...and finally, I take down the master ninja in one fell stroke!

And like that, the area is secure!

...I'm not liking the feeling of these dragon veins. We seem to have a clear (if winding) path already, and I can't get a solid reading on what these particular veins do, so we're going to steer clear of them.

Gotta keep an eye out for these holes. Their avoid bonus plus master ninja = pain. This is the best hit rate I could get on him, everyone else's was scarily unreliable.

Like so.

Also, I've run into my first enemies that Kagero's new skill lets her eviscerate! Good to know!

After healing Kagero up from a counterattack from that stoneborn, Sakura gets a new skill that means she can heal herself pretty reliably.

Scratch that talk about avoiding the dragon veins. Looks like I have no choice. My dragonvision obscures my regular vision somewhat, and I failed to notice these massive sheer cliffs in our way. Shigure's our only flier, so not using the dragon veins is simply not an option.

Hm... two veins... one under each hand of a statue... only one of which is holding an orb. I'm guessing that if we hit the wrong one, we'll flood our own area with lava. Which would be bad. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that it's the one with the orb we want to activate.

Here goes nothing!

Aaaaaand it turns out I was right!

Time to advance!

Sadly they need baiting, so I take the job.

One of them was carrying a very fancy katana that seems to be spectacular for tanks. Sadly, none of my tanks have the required sword proficiency to wield it.

In the process of more baiting, I decide to get some practice with lances, since I'll need it later when I become a basara.

Time to test if my hypothesis holds true or if I was just lucky.

Two for two!

[

I have Kaden do the baiting this time mostly because there are magic users too, and my resistance is nowhere near as good as my defense.

This results in a rather unfortunate enemy formation for us.

Also, while Kaden's defense and resistance (and cuteness) are truly forces to be reckoned with, his actual attack... is less than desirable now that we've come up against truly tanky enemies.

So now that one of the two onmyoji is primed to be killed this round, and there's nothing the physical attackers will be able to do to kill even a magically-wounded great knight, I decide to have Silas and myself take care of these enemies, assisted by Azura.

Next round, cleanup is fairly straightforward.

Aaaaaand the final result is a yes for the orb hand being the right hand!

Now I could deal with this by just charging in myself, but I'd like to get my other soldiers some experience so instead I opt to have Kagero attack the northern of those two eastern stoneborn, then Takumi takes down the other with some assistance from a dual strike from Kagero, then I move forward with a boost from Azura to take down that spear master, eliminating all enemies who can attack the purple zone for this round.

More training in naginatas.

Step 30 on my path to greatness, and a skill for the occasion. I drop lunge, I haven't made too much use of it.

And with that, I'm ready to become a Basara! Basara! Deshi Deshi BASARA! BASARA! DESHI DESHI BASARA BASARA DESHI DESHI BASARA BASARA-

...Sorry. Don't know what came over me.

The final stretch is a mess of stoneborns, but most of them are immobile. I send in my tanks to take out the ones that aren't, as well as the lone spear master, before I send my weaker units in to rush the immobile stoneborns for some easy experience.

...But when I get too close, the area is flooded with lava, and reinforcements arrive.

The reinforcements are dealt with before they can reach my more fragile soldiers. They keep coming, but they're easy to deal with before they do anything thanks to all the soldiers I have nearby. But this lava floor is both annoying and nerve-racking. I don't even know if it's capable of finishing off a badly wounded unit.

Having both Luna and Dragon Fang is already allowing me to kill enemies I wouldn't be able to normally with good reliability! I can't wait to see what happens when I get Rend Heaven as well!

After a round or two, the reinforcements finally subside, and I decide to just rush in with my all-around tanky self now that the lava has complicated things and made travel both slow and painful.

...War Journal...

THAT STATUE JUST TALKED.

...Ahem! Right! So... excellent news! Felicia and Jakob managed to make themselves useful for once (aside from their utility as human equipment) by finding a fantastic shortcut straight into the Nohrian capital of Windmire! The final battle is getting ever closer, War Journal! The final battle with Garon shall soon be at hand. And there will be vengeance, glory, and copious, delicious quantities of blood!

...Until then, War Journal <3!

Edited March 16, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Entry 27

Dear War Journal,

We're in a bit of a rush, as I explained last entry, so I'm just going to do a quick update of the castle.

Hayato and Orochi continue to have carefree fun in the arena...

...And this thing I've almost never made use of is now tier 3.

Also, I tried, yet again, to enjoy myself in East Dakota's luxurious hot springs, only to once again be stymied by my arrogant female subordinates.

GET OVER YOURSELF, WOMAN! YOU STAND BEFORE THE GLORIOUS CHISELED CHEST OF NOHR'S FUTURE KING! YOU'RE JUST SOME RETAINER IN YOUR UNDERWEAR! ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE IN FACT THE ONE GETTING THE BETTER VIEW HERE, AND RUN AWAY IN GUILTY SHAME!

...Right, that didn't work out so well. Hinata! Impress me!

Excellent! Good man!

Everyone in my army is now enjoying a hearty +1 to strength, speed and defense thanks to that meal. Right, I think that means it's time to head out on our march on the-

...Hellooo, what's this? Something new at the accessory shop?

A present? From the sky? For moi? How precious! But my bracelet that my beloved daughter made for me takes up the space that's meant to be worn on, so I will not be wearing it. Here you go, sweetie!

...Right, now let's begin our march on the capital!

I overheard an interesting conversation between Silas and Ryoma. Apparently Nohr has a massive food shortage, and the peasants live in hunger. Now, of course, I was not aware of this, being confined as I was to the Northern Fortress. Nobody told me these things. That's not the fascinating part though... the fascinating part is that Ryoma didn't know either! That... I...

...This raises so many questions. The selfish and foolish ruler might be inclined to hoard what little there is and doom the masses to starve, but the selfish and smart ruler would know that a starving country is a lesser country. To simply allow a food shortage in one's own country would be laughable. So it would initially stand to reason that this war was started because of the food shortage. But was it? That would make sense, of course, on the surface... but for the high prince of Hoshido to not know that? One might reflexively blame this on him being a Hoshidan, but I know better. Ryoma is smarter than that. The only way he could truly be so ignorant about this food shortage in a country he's at war with is if Garon simply never brought it up. If he simply resorted straight to war without requesting food aid, aid that Ryoma indicates they would've happily given.

Thus it only stands to reason that Garon's reasons for invading Hoshido had nothing whatsoever to do with the food shortage. He did it for entirely different, entirely selfish reasons.

This is perfect, War Journal! Crushing dissent when I take the throne will be trivial, in that there will be no dissent to crush! I just have to accept Ryoma's offer of food aid while I try to come up with something else for the long term, and the people will welcome me with open arms! I couldn't have asked for a better predecessor to be compared to if I were planning to conquer hell itself! Nohr will be mine for the taking!

Oh look at this, War Journal! I do believe we're being mugged! By a bunch of peasant bandits! How adorable! I wonder what-

...What.

...WHAT.

...WHAT!?

WHY DO A BUNCH OF COMMON THUGS HAVE THREE ELITE MAIDS UNDER THEIR EMPLOY, ARMED TO THE TEETH WITH TOP OF THE LINE EQUIPMENT!?

AND WAS I LITERALLY GIVEN THE SHITTIEST SERVANTS IN ALL OF NOHR!?

That does it. Orochi! I've got a job for you.

Time to make use of that prison that's just been taking up space in East Dakota.

Anyway, our position is rather unfortunate. We're surrounded on all sides. There'll be no way to set up a defensive wall without making an all-out rush towards one of a few locations.

We can make our stand here, by the shuriken launcher and fire orb, and that would be by far the easiest and quickest area to secure, and we'd have two turrets to make use of. But it would also be wide open and virtually un-tankable.

Or we could make a break for one of these narrow alleyways. It would take longer and we'd be vulnerable for longer, but once we're there it would be much easier to seal off with tanks.

Ultimately I decide to do both. Using my new ability to tank and clear, I'm going to have my main army clear this southern place out and eliminate the threat of the southern turrets while I personally clear out a path to hide in the eastern alley. Then we'll work things out from there once we've safely got our bearings. Using this strategy, we get both the short-term safety of plan A and the long-term safety of plan B, and we'll be able to defend the weaker units even in the event of reinforcements (very likely).

Right then. Begin.

To start off, I move here, just barely inside of the range of that adventurer and well outside the range of the northern maids. And speaking of maids...

Hello, young lady! Prepare yourself for a HOSTILE PROMOTION!

Trust me, dear, I'm doing you a favor.

The rest are rather straightforwardly dealt with.

Takumi gets a new skill that makes his archery almost impossible to miss with, as well as a scroll I'm almost certainly never going to use because it cripples magic every other attack.

I send the rest of my units to prepare to enter the alley once I've cleared it.

Yoink!

Damn, adventurers have great resistance. Lucky for him I didn't activate either Dragon Fang or Luna for either attack, either of which would've helped me paste him.

The chase is on. Time to get everyone out of there.

Well this is a problem. This adventurer needs to go down immediately, but I also need a chance to take care of the incoming outlaw on counterattack. But magic won't work well on that adventurer, and Azura isn't in a good position to sing for me without compromising Sakura's ability to heal me this turn.

My solution.

Evacuation continues to go according to plan.

Reinforcements, as I suspected, in the form of two maids from the south. They'll have to be dealt with before evacuation can continue.

And so they are.

Next round more reinforcements show up, but they're easily-dispatched dark mages barely worth note. We take them out on our way to the barricade zone.

In the process of clearing out some more reinforcements, Hana got her hands on Astra. Lucky her.

Now I could easily take this from the front by myself, but I want to get some experience for my other soldiers, so I'm gonna go around the back alley to bypass the turrets and maids.

And immediately after I say this, they call reinforcements and head into a defensive formation.

Since Robin is the only commander I've ever seen who can instill any patience in his soldiers, I use the tried-and-true tactic of baiting them one by one. But just in case this results in an all-out rush, I have everyone prepared to retreat into the alleyway if more than just the dark mages come out from this.

Nothing of the sort happens, and Orochi gets us access to another rally ability!

I'm sending Ryoma around back to take out the turrets and fight some of the rear enemies without getting in range of the dangerous stat-reducing maids.

Sadly, the adventurer at the ballista is uninterested in attacking Ryoma directly despite it being the only conceivable way to damage him.

I'm forced to move in a bit deeper, into the range of a dual guard pair of a powerful berserker and a powerful sorcerer, neither of whom can kill him in one hit. Both are slain.

Indeed it will, Ryoma, for now that you're an equal level to your partner, your bushido skill should kick in, improving your attack, defense and critical rate. That will be very useful.

Now to deal with the leader. Thanks to a conveniently built Dual Guard, Ryoma can ignore that nasty stat drop he can inflict long enough to kill him and then get rescued by Orochi out of the range of the maids.

Unfortunately, the stat drop happens anyway, regardless of the attack missing.

...Making him just weak and slow enough to only manage a kill if he gets a lucky critical or astra proc. Ugh. Well there's nothing I can do, I have to give it a shot.

THANK YOU, RYOMA!

Gee Willikers, what on Earth tipped you off?

And back to safety!

Out of frustration, I send myself to deal with these maids so cleaning out the rest with my weaker soldiers will be easier.

So sorry, ladies, but the position has been filled!

Step 31 on my path to greatness, and a new skill to boot! I toss strength+2 in favor of this, since my magic is in more of a need of a boost at the moment.

I decide to give the rest of the experience to Kaden now that the maids are gone.

Found a club of a similar make to the katana I found in last battle. Again, I have nobody who can use it.

Kana: Yay! We made the bad people dead! We're good citizens, Papa!

Dakota: Yes we are, sweetums, yes we are.

Oh look, the leader's still alive. Azura and Ryoma, realizing this Shura guy would be useful for working out a secret way into the castle, give him a good talking to, and then upon realizing who he's talking to, reveals that he's a former ninja of some clan the Mokushu committed genocide against, and that he's loyal to Hoshido, so he joins us.

...Loyal to Hoshido. Loyal... to Hoshido...

...That phrase triggers an unpleasant thought process in me, War Journal. In a little while Garon will be dead and I will assume the throne of Nohr. How many of my current soldiers are actually loyal to me, and not to the country I appear to be fighting for? I know I won't be making enemies of these people, but... How many of them will actually stay with me and serve me when I'm king?

Well Kaze would, but he's dead now. Mozu (forgot about her ever since Kaze died, haven't I?) owes me her life, so she might stay... Silas is definitely on my side, not so sure about his wife Hana. She's a retainer to Sakura after all, she might want to go back to Hoshido. Azura... will probably... jeez, I should probably get to talking to her about what my actual plans are, heh... Kana will definitely stay with me, Shigure... will probably do what Azura does. Kaden I have no idea, same with his wife Rinkah. She has no direct connection to Hoshido, but she does seem loyal to them. The royal family will all go back to Hoshido definitely...

...Whatever. If worst comes to worst I'll just have to build up a new army. I did it once, I can do it again. More importantly, let's check out this secret passage Shura was talking about.

Ah! This is more like it! Much more what I'd come to expect from a capital city. I'll have to make sure my adorable citizens feel comfortable setting up this sort of stuff outside when I'm-

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THE GODS IT'S ELISE!

Elise: Big brother! What are you doing here!?

Dakota: Shhh! Not so loud! We're incognito!

Elise: ...By traveling with a guy in a metal lobster costume and a man with fox ears?

Dakota: ...Yes.

Right, well, Elise took us to her special hiding place. Apparently life in the castle has gone to shit with me gone. Aw, that's so sweet to hear.

Also, we get some fascinating information about Garon's past love life that does not matter in the slightest because HIS THRONE IS GOING TO BE DRENCHED IN HIS BLOOD NO MATTER WHAT HIS STUPID EXCUSE IS.

Elise: Dakota, who are those blue-haired people behind you?

Dakota: Oh! Right! You haven't been introduced! This here is Azura, my lovely wife... and... your sister... I think...

Azura: Pleased to meet you.

Elise: ...My sister... and... your... wife?

Dakota: Yes.

Elise: ...Gee, big brother... I always figured if you were into that you'd have gone after Camilla-

Dakota: SHE'S NOT MY SISTER! WE HAVE NO COMMON BLOOD, WE WERE NEVER RAISED UNDER THE SAME ROOF, IT'S JUST A TECHNICALITY, OKAY!? NOT! CREEPY!

Elise: (Giggles) But wait... if she's your wife... then... those... those two with the same hair...

Kana: I'm Kana! Nice to meet you, Auntie Elise!

...Aaaaaand Elise went catatonic after being called “Auntie”. Right... we'll have to hear the rest of this later. So... I guess now's a good time to slip back to East Dakota and make some further preparations and take stock of our new recruits!

[Alastor15243]

Right, so since "Only do the paralogues relevant to Dakota or the ones you can do interesting things with" was the clear winner, here's a new poll: What should I do with regards to gameplay-affecting avatar customization when it comes to the new routes? Talent's something I'd really like to change, obviously, since I'd have access to a whole different set of classes in Conquest, but I've also been considering changing my Boon/Bane as well. What does everyone think about that?

Edit: Huh. Seems like the old corresponding poll votes from the last poll... carried over. Right, one sec, fixing.

Edited March 16, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Right, sorry about that, the poll's been fixed. The first questions will stay around for posterity I guess.

[Alastor15243]

Entry 28

Dear War Journal,

While Elise is still... recovering... I thought I'd check out the newest residents of East Dakota! First off, this Shura individual... He's nothing particularly special apart from his fancy 3-range bow and the fact that he has access to three total class sets by default: outlaw, fighter and ninja. Looks like his story of being a former ninja checks out. Don't let that defense fool you, he's having a good day, +6 defense over normal. I'm frankly not impressed.

Next, let's check out the first residents of our lovely prison! Let's see... how to get them to join us... let's try persuading one first...

Let's start with Ilse.

As Azura tells me... I have people skill issues... I have Subaki, the current guard, do it.

Subaki: Let's get started. Perfect. Yes! PERFECT!

Okay, Subaki, seriously, you need help. You were already abusing that word referring to yourself with your atrocious speed growth, but now seriously, somebody needs to step in and give that word a proper home.

Right then, let's try good old-fashioned bribery! What'll it take to get you on my side?

...Seriously? I've amassed a fortune large enough to let a soldier spend every level from 1 to 40 in a different fucking class, and you want sparkly rocks and vegetables!? For the love of all the gods, just ask for money like normal backstabbing scum for hire!

...Ugh, I need a good meal. Orochi! Impress me!

Sushi it is then! The usual Spd/Def bonus of 1 and...

Nice! And that's most of our units then!

Dakota: Orochi, I have to say, you're doing great! I would've never expected you'd recover so quickly from what happened with Rhajat!

Orochi: …

Dakota: Oh. Right. That was... what do they call it... tactless? Odd word for it, I mean, I'm full of tactical knowledge, so surely to describe me as lacking something that you need to spell “tactical genius”, which I am full of, is a weird concept, I mean how-

Orochi: ...Dakota... who the hell is Rhajat?

War Journal, I have just returned from testing out the implications of what I just heard without looking like I'm completely out of my mind. Under the pretense of performing a team unity exercise, I, along with my two children, created a set of flash cards of the names of everyone in East Dakota's army, living or dead, along with 10 fake names I just made up, and one by one we tasked every member of the army with describing the person whose name was on the card, or, alternatively, identifying them as a fake name.

In nearly every single case, with the exceptions Kana and Robin...

...Rhajat and Kaze were declared fake names.

Kana, Robin and I are the only people in all of East Dakota who remember either of our fallen soldiers. Nobody else.

Not Rhajat's parents...

Not Kaze's wife...

...Nobody but Kana, Robin and me. But everyone remembers my mother, and Flora, and Zola...

...Wait. Do they remember Zola?

Update: No, they do not remember Zola. But Elise did, didn't she? Yes, I distinctly remember her saying during our conversation that she remembered watching Garon give Zola the axe while he was chained to Gigi's back at the theatre.

So the thing all the forgotten people have in common is that they've been inside East Dakota. Flora didn't feel comfortable going inside, but I forced Zola in, and of course Kaze and Rhajat were inside.

...And the thing that all the forgetting people have in common is that they've also been inside East Dakota. Elise never has, and she's the only one I've talked to who still remembers Zola.

Interesting. So it seems that... nobody who has ever set foot inside East Dakota remembers anyone else who set foot inside East Dakota and then died.

This is... unnerving, a high priority for further investigation, terrifying...

...and excellent! Not only does this mean that as far as anyone knows I still have a perfect win record, but it also means that there will be no additional side-effects from any deaths that happen in the future! In an army so built on social ties, this loss of memory, whatever caused it, means I get all the benefits of a socially active army, and none of the costs when anyone dies!

...But as convenient as it is, it still desperately needs to be investigated in detail soon.

...However, that will have to wait. Silas and Hana came to be expressing concerns about how their daughter's doing all on her own for all this time, and so it looks like it's time for us to pick up a new party member!

Ooooh boy, Sophie really picked a nasty place to pop out of her Deeprealm at. These are some pretty high level enemies.

...Ouch.

...Ouch!

...OUCH!

Right, this is no place for my weaker units. I'm going to be taking on the brunt of this, heading up north by piggybacking on Felicia for the valuable attack, defense and magic boosts. This is particularly good for me to do because this is a rare opportunity for me to fight enemies at or above my level. This will be valuable experience for me.

But I can't just play it safe and only use my strongest units, because of this asshole. It'll only be a matter of time before he starts picking off those villagers, villagers who will probably give me precious supplies as a reward for saving them. Looks like I'll have to advance quickly and intelligently.

Like this: I'll have Shigure fly Takumi over to down the adventuerer in one hit thanks to the combined power of a strength tonic, his competitive nature and Shigure's slightly superior level, his quick draw ability, and, in case I made a slight math error, the bonus from a silver bow can help. With that taken care of, I'll seal off the other side with Silas and myself...

...get Sophie...

...And clear the area of bandits at our leisure from there.

Begin.

First off, I deal with this adventurer and prepare to take on the paladins and sorcerer on the counterattack. Hopefully I'll proc at least one luna or dragon fang.

And that is a yes!

Takumi and Shigure head to intercept the adventurer to the west, according to plan.

Everyone else holds their positions since I don't want anyone put in range of enemies with two range if they can't kill them like I can.

Step 32 on my path to greatness already!

...Tempting, but no. I already have a more reliable experience increasing skill equipped.

No! What in the name of all the mothers of all the gods do you think you're doing!? You're safe right where you were! Go back!

...Sigh... never overestimate the intelligence of peasants. Right, this calls for some emergency maneuvers. First, get rid of the paladin that Sophie just moved in range of.

Then get everyone to the villagers as soon as possible. We have to be on our guard, there's no telling what on earth they'll do.

Step 33 on my path to greatness, and the third proc under my belt! One more level and then it's time to move on! Bye-bye, Mag+2!

DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, YOU SUICIDAL LEMMINGS!?

Just in case Sophie's equally as stupid and plans to run headlong into danger instead of towards daddy, let's get her recruited ASAP.

I love offspring seals.

Now how to deal with this...

I'm using an extremely valuable rescue staff on you, you had better appreciate this! No, better yet, you had better unload the totality of your worthless peasant soul into me for saving your worthless life!

If I've done the math right on Ryoma's avoid and the penalties of a B rank axe user fighting a sword user, these two silver axe users should have an almost negligible chance to hit Ryoma, so he should be safe. Nobody who can just tank all the attacks can make it in time, and I am really starting to question the intelligence of the villagers I'm trying to save. This is my best option.

Thankfully it worked and Ryoma didn't get hit even once, so now-

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? THERE IS A YAWNING EXPANSE OF WIDE OPEN GREEN SAFETY TO YOUR IMMEDIATE RIGHT!

...Right, at this point there's no way I can save them all, but I can at least save some.

...The inevitable transpires.

...No. Fuck it. Fuck all of it. You're not worth the danger to my troops. Go ahead and frolick merrily to your gruesome deaths, you have exhausted all of the fucks I could possibly give. Even if I were to save you, you'd impale yourselves on your own pitchforks within the hour! Take whatever paltry reward you would have given me to your graves, I no longer care what it is! No trinket, no prize, no conceivable treasure under the entire damned sun could possibly make up for the unending shame and guilt that would plague me for the rest of my days were I to allow you invalids to live long enough to breed! I don't even remember what country you're from, and I don't care! I wouldn't wish your genes or your parenting upon my most hated enemy!

Troops of East Dakota! MOVE! THE FUCK! BACK!

Ahhhhh, the sweet, intoxicating sound of stupid leaving the world.

Honestly, those villagers were the only thing making this difficult. With them gone, I can now harvest the experience-rich bandits at my leisure.

...Wow. Sophie has a... rather fascinating trick in her repertoire.

Step 34 on my path to greatness, and lo and behold, turns out there is another trick to the trade to be learnt here, and boy is it a juicy one just perfect for my skillset! The fact that it improves my enemy's hit rate and skill proc rate as well is just fine. I don't leave my fate up to dodge chance anyway, I leave my fate up to hard defensive stats. I'll toss elbow room for now, but I'm starting to think that Rend Heaven might not be worth the skill slot considering the fact that plenty of enemies won't suffer any extra damage from it. I'll experiment.

Sophie, seriously, I think I love you.

I move back to see if I can get any of my other units a turn at killing these guys.

Sophie, why don't you hang out with my adorable daughter for a little while? Kana needs some friends her age.

Reinforcements. No big deal, but I'll have to make sure to spare their adorable mounts and bring them with us. There's really not much to say here, all the difficult decisions have already been made in this battle.

Some more reinforcements. Barely worth mentioning.

The next one, however, was not. And I was forced to sacrifice one of my precious levels to neutralize a threat as I evacuated my weaker soldiers. I still have time to learn everything I want to, but I have to become a Malig knight almost immediately.

http://tumblr.kaiclavier.com/post/102556558931/exactly-what-you-think-it-is

Welcome back, Gigi! I missed you!

Right, time to kill this bandit leader, take his mount to safety, and be done with it.

Ahh. That was a nice diversion, War Journal. Right then, I think Elise should be awake by now, we should probably head back. I'll update you then.

Edited March 17, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Entry 29

Dear War Journal,

I've attempted to learn more about the whole “people who die no longer exist” thing, but the problem is I've reached the extent of what I'm capable of learning about it as it stands. Oh don't get me wrong, I have plenty of ideas for experiments with this whole thing, but the problem is that they're all along the lines of the following:

Were a parent, rather than a child, to die, how if at all would the children be effected? Would they be magically retconned as adopted? Or as the result of a loveless casual fling regardless of the personality of the remaining living parent? Would they vanish entirely?

If somebody's death were inextricably tied to a crucial event, would the event be forgotten too? Would the mental disconnect addle the minds of all who forgot?

Were I to cut off Hinata's right arm, would everyone forget that he ever had a right arm?

The problem with these things is that I can't very well test any of them without weakening my army, and I have no interest in doing that, even in the name of science. For the time being I'll just try not to let anyone else die.

In other news, not much has changed around East Dakota. Saizo took a stab at running the prison last night. I hoped perhaps he would have more success. He certainly seemed confident.

Says the man whose left eye is perpetually closed.

Right, let's see what you can do.

*series of fighting grunts*

Only your results, Saizo, only your results. Ah well, I'll try this again tomorrow morning.

Ah, Reina. Perhaps somebody at tier 2 will have more luck.

Reina: Like coming home! CRY OUT IN PAIN! *chuckle* A beautiful ending!

...I can't even begin to fathom what's going on back there.

...Right, time to check up on Elise. Until then, War Journal.

Okay, good news. Elise has recovered, and I managed to explain to her, slowly, the reason why I have two children, the youngest of which is barely younger than she is. With that out of the way, she decided to lead us through the secret tunnels into the castle. But she does't want me to fight Xander or even Garon. She wants me to talk with them and work things out, and she's offered up her adorable charms to help me do it. Now that's fine by me when it comes to Xander, but...

...But Garon must die. I know she's the only parent Elise has left, but she deserves better, and besides, that's the entire point of everything I've gone through. I can't just trow all of that away because she asks me to.

I can, however, bank on Garon being an unreasonable psychopath who will want me dead no matter what, and thus try diplomacy first just to show Elise that I tried before it inevitably fails and I'm “forced” to resort to violence. Yes, that seems like the way to go. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

We're on the way through the dank secret tunnels now. They're disgusting and sewer-y, but this revulsion is offset by how well Elise and Kana seem to be hitting it off. Those two are absolutely adorable together and I'm sure they'll be great friends.

...Though Elise seems to... not share my daughter's... enthusiasm... for the taste of human flesh. Ah well. Best buddies needn't see eye to eye on everything.

So... quick update... potential problem incoming. Camilla's found us. I wonder how-

Camilla: Dakota! You're safe! I was so worried, little brother! Come here and let big sister give you a big... big hug!

Dakota: Mmph! Camilla! What are you doing here?

Camilla: Looking for Elise! I was worried something had happened to her! Good to know she's been with you this whole time. Come on, I'll help you explain everything to Xander and then we can work out what to do about father.

Dakota: You're... on my side?

Camilla: Of course I am! You explained everything to me earlier! How could I not be?

Dakota: Well that's a relief.

Camilla: Now then sweetie... tell your big sister about everything that's happened while you were gone.

Kana: Papa, who is this lady? Why does she sound like a chain-smoking granny? Why does she have balloons on her chest? And why is she pushing your face into them? Is she trying to kill you?

Camilla: ...Granny? Balloons!? PAPA!? Dakota, who is this little brat!?

Dakota: Oh, uh, well, you see, Camilla... uh... it's like this...

Kana: Kana Fortissimo Vendelgate of East Dakota, Ma'am!

Dakota: Oh dear gods.

Camilla: M...MA'AM!?

Kana: Uh... anyway, I'm Dakota's daughter!

Camilla: ...Daughter!? ...With... with who...!?

Azura: Ahem. That would be me. I'm Azura. Former princess of Nohr. And the wife of the man you're, er... “embracing”.

Camilla: ...Little... sister... Azura?

Dakota: Camilla, hear me out...

Camilla: (unsettlingly sweetly) Dakota... you told me you had no interest in marrying any of your sisters...

Dakota: Camilla, I wasn't raised with her, we have no blood connection...

Camilla: And I believed you, because of course I did. After all... surely, surely I told myself, if that didn't bother him, surely I would be the first woman on his list.

Dakota: Camilla, please, calm down for just one second...

Camilla: Dakota... do you mean to tell me that you've slept with one of your sisters... who wasn't me?

Dakota: ...Well... yes?

Camilla: ...Oh. I see. Yes. Yes, it all makes sense now. Clearly this wench's siren song has hoodwinked you.

Dakota: Oh I assure you, her song has done no such-.

Camilla: Oh well. I guess it can't be helped, then.

Camilla: GUARDS! DESTROY THE BLUE-HAIRED MONGREL HUSSY, AND HER DISGUSTING BLUE-HAIRED SPAWN!

Dakota: Camilla, don't do this...

Camilla: Don't worry, I forgive you, Dakota. All that's left is to... wipe the slate clean... and then the two of us can start our life together!

Dakota: Camilla, fair warning to your little army, you might not want to do this. Everyone who's tried to hurt my family is kinda dead now.

Camilla: I AM YOUR FAMILY, DAKOTA! I WILL HAVE NO MORE OF THIS NONSENSE! YOU WILL LET ME CLEAN UP YOUR MESS AND THEN YOU WILL COME HOME WITH ME AND THAT IS FINAL!

Ugh. AGAIN? After the emotional roller-coaster that was the last time?

Camilla's standing by a series of dragon veins capable of channeling massive fireballs into these waterways.

The only safe places are the little tunnels between waterways. I have no idea how powerful those fireballs are, but I need to be on my guard and not take any chances. If at all possible, I must make sure that nobody is put in range of any enemies while standing out in the open.

I think to pair Sophie up with Kana again, but Kana tells me that's not really working out and that they're not getting along. Shame. I decide to see if Shigure will have any luck making friends with her.

Thankfully my starting position is already secure, so I don't need to worry about an attack immediately. Perhaps the best course of action would be to simply bait Camilla into wasting the fireball at a time when they can't take advantage of it.

Oh look who's come back! Camilla's little girl power brigade. And they've gotten promotions! Good for them!

...Oh dear. Elise's retainers... this could be nasty. I could break Elise's dear heart if I did anything permanent to them. Elise tells me that if I can bring her over to them she can smooth things over. I'll see what I can do... but if they come after my children, I make no promises.

Here's the formation I ultimately decided to go with.

Begin.

I decide to use my opening gambit to seal off the tunnels towards my troops while also baiting Camilla to waste her fireball at the least dangerous time for me.

She takes the bait. It does a measly 10 damage to everyone not guarding somebody, with the exception of Kaden and I, who were in the tunnels.

I have Takumi prepare to counter-attack the incoming bow knight so that we can get some advance damage on these three incoming riders. Maybe Takumi will crit and my job will get even easier.

THEY'RE REUSABLE!? NO! NO! NO! WHAT!? WHAT!? WHY!?

Thankfully Takumi both dodged and was capable of surviving anyway. He then critted, so now our job is a little easier. But that was scary. I had no idea reusable dragon veins even existed! I have to be on my guard. I can't let a single one of my units end their turn in range of any enemy unless they have ironclad defenses.

...Which makes this enemy formation inconvenient. I can't kill the eastern wyvern lord or great knight without putting somebody in range of a powerful sorcerer.

However, I've calculated that even taking the fireball damage into account, Shigure can take it.

Especially with this level up.

I'll take out the great knight myself since I can obviously take it as well.

I bring Sakura out to help with the high-demand healing, while Kaden prepares to bait the other great knight and Silas prepares to leapfrog into the more northern tunnel.

Everything works out, but I'm not sure how much my healers can keep this from getting out of hand. We've got to get rid of these riders and retreat into the tunnels right away.

Ahhh... The only dodge rate I feel comfortable relying on. Ryoma! You're up!

Oh, so many choices available to our paladin friend here! Which way will he march to his death? Will it be towards the nine-tails who eats horseriders for breakfast? The high prince with the legendary thunder blade? Or my dear son, wielding a rider-killing lance? So many choices!

And contestant number 1 picks door number 2! Let's see what he won: DEATH! Too bad, contestant #1! There was a lovely goat behind door number “don't fucking attack”!

So, good news! Sakura has enough HP for her renewal skill to make her basically immune (in the long term at least) to the effects of the raging fireballs!

...Aaand we have reinforcements. From the rear.

I'll have Silas bait this one, but there's a dark knight headed our way from the northeast too. First priority is getting everyone fragile into the tunnels so we can stop playing this dangerous game.

There. Everyone but Sakura is in the tunnels, and again, as long as nobody's in range of her, she's as good as immune to the fire damage.

The reinforcements continue to arrive, and I wait it out while I get my bearings.

Alright, Elise, let's see if we can parley with your retainers.

...I have no idea what to make of this face.

Right, Elise's retainers have decided not to fight us. ...Still, I was under the assumption that they would just leave, not turn neutral. I hope the other soldiers don't brand them traitors and attack them, because if they do, there's pretty much nothing I can do to stop them.

...Oopsie.

...They at the very least seem to be smarter than those peasants. Let's see if I can do Elise a solid and save them.

First, some healing...

...Then Shigure and I kill the two fliers capable of killing Effie.

The remaining dark knight isn't fast enough to double her or one-shot her. If she absolutely must attack that dark knight in return, she should be able to kill him before he can counterattack thanks to that brave lance. Then I'll get somebody over to heal her and then see what their next moves are. Hopefully towards an exit.

Success!

NO! BAD RETAINER! BAD! STAY!

Okay, this is bad. Even if I fully heal him, as long as the enemy army is smart enough to exploit dual strikes, Arthur is doomed. Now, I could let him and Effie just die for their stupidity. Yes. It would be physically possible for me to do that. But then I'd have to see Elise cry.

...

Between two attacks, I have six chances to proc either Dragon Fang at 39%, Luna at 47%, or Rend Heaven at 63%. Just one of those proccing during just one of my two attacks would be enough to kill this strategist, guaranteeing Arthur's life for the time being.

If all six of those chances fail... and if all the enemy attacks hit... counting the 10 fireball damage...

...I'll die.

…

...The things I do for you, Elise.

I am Prince Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr! Legendary tactician! Peerless warrior! AND THE BEST BIG BROTHER EVER!

Arthur manages to repay my kindness by somehow making himself useful by slaying an enemy I failed to kill.

Effie, on the other hand, decides to march headlong into the range of a strategist who can one-round her.

Sigh.

...Shigure, help the she-musclehead out, will you?

I then have Kana use her new wane festal to heal Arthur up so he can survive the incoming malig knight reinforcement.

If you keep this up and eat your vegetables, sweetie, of course you will.

Takumi takes care of the other reinforcements.

I, meanwhile, realize that what may be the only way to save Arthur from his own reckless foolishness is to rush ahead and clear out the remaining enemies and subdue Camilla myself.

More gold to the treasury.

Arthur thankfully actually has the sense to run away from the fight with the malig knight he can't possibly win. Good for him!

After some cleanup, I have Oboro prepare to bait this wyvern lord before he becomes a problem for the headstrong Effie.

Arthur seems to have expended his sanity for the time being and has decided to continue towards his doom, so I need to speed this up with some baiting.

Right, here are the final five enemies. This is a rather tricky situation, one that will get even trickier if Arthur does anything even slightly stupid. Selena's got a crescent bow, which lets her attack twice, which will mean death for basically any flying unit but me if they get anywhere near her. I can handle this on my own... given time. However, with the reckless stupidity of these two lemmings I'm charged with protecting, time is something I do not have.

So I will have to make time. First, a quick round of first aid from Sakura and Kana, aided by Azura. Gotta patch up that burn damage.

Boom! Problem solved. The sorcerer will either attack the bow-armed Shigure in melee or the sword-armed Arthur at range. Either way, he'll be right next to Shigure and he'll create a traffic jam that should render it impossible for Effie or Arthur to advance any further without making a huge detour. That will buy me plenty of time to deal with the remaining enemies...

...And Camilla subdue Camilla.

Both Takumi and Shigure have enough accuracy with sure strike and air superiority respectively to shoot her down with bows in spite of bowbreaker, but no. I'll do it. They might seriously hurt her with those shots.

This may seem foolish, baiting an archer with a dual-attacking bow when not at full health, but I've run the numbers and I can not only survive, but probably defeat her too, thanks to my ludicrous defense, the fact that Camilla won't think to fire the fireball here when there are so many more tasty targets in the middle, and a primed dual guard. Then I'll deal with Beruka, and then Camilla. Hopefully my plan in deterring the green lemming brigade works.

Dakota: Likewise.

Selena: Right, so I'm, like, going to beat you up and tie you up now, okay? And don't you dare enjoy it!

Dakota: I make no promises.

Selena: Gawds! What the hell does she see in you!? ...Look, Odin told me you have somebody named Robin traveling with you. I figure it's another one of his stupid stories, but just thought I'd ask: is it true?

Dakota: Yyyep.

Selena: Whitish hair? Thick purple-black jacket? Uses tomes and swords?

Dakota: That would be the one.

Selena: Right. Well you're probably not going to be seeing him again after Camilla's through with you, but just in case, I've got a message for him.

And then she just tosses me a note in a bottle.

Selena: If you somehow manage to beat us, send that his way, would you?

Dakoa: My pleasure.

And with that, Camilla's on the move. My plan to keep Arthur and Effie out of harm's way worked for the most part, but Effie, for no reason, decided to crowd around Shigure despite the sorcerer's ability to kill her in one round of combat.

So looks like I'll have to end this now before that sorcerer gets a chance to do that.

Come, Gigi. Let's bring big sister back to her senses! ...Again.

LIGHTS OUT, CAMILLA!

...What was she doing with this? Was this a present for me before she snapped at the thought of me having kids?

Right, now for Beruka to end this battle for us.

...Well then, have I got good news for you!

Score! Another item for the “too awesome for me to actually bring myself to use” pile!

So we checked up on Camilla and, just as I intended, she'll recover. Hopefully when she wakes up she'll think better of coming after us again, but seeing how all but two members of her personal army are now dead, I don't think there's much she can do even if she does. I'd call this a resounding victory! Onwards!

As we prepared to teleport back to East Dakota, I remembered the note in a bottle to Robin that Selena handed me, and stared at it, curious what was inside. Now, the polite individual would give it to him unopened.

...I'm sorry, where was I? I'm not sure where I was going with this. Anyway, I opened it, let's see what it says:

…

“Dear Robin,

I can't prove a damn thing, but I know what you did, and you can go straight back to hell for it.

Love,

Severa.”

[Alastor15243]

Entry 30

Dear War Journal,

It would appear that our secretive grandmaster friend Robin has an even more interesting past than I thought, but he's being an absolute tease and refuses to tell me about it even now. I frankly don't get him sometimes.

Anyway, I don't want to leave Elise on her own in... middle earth... or whatever it's called... for too long (even with the time-warping stuff, it still makes me nervous), I'm just here to quickly check on my resources and perform the usual maintenance.

Incidentally, have I mentioned lately how much I love my kids?

First off, Kana. I arrived at the prison to find her on duty, brandishing a riding crop.

Kana: Hi Papa! Look! I'm a warden! (whips the crop) Welcome to Casa Del Prison, where all the time is pain time!

Dakota: Where'd you get the riding crop, sweetie? We have like two horses!

Kana: Found it! On the remains of one of the riders we killed the other day! He was tasty!

Dakota: I'm sure he was, pumpkin, I'm sure he was.

Dakota: Wanna take a crack at “converting” Ilsa today?

Kana: Oh, can I, Papa? Can I truly?

Dakota: May I, sweetums. And yes.

Kana: Yay! I love you, Papa! I'll do my best!

And then she just ran down the prison corridors with her arms spread out like wings while making dragon noises and occasionally whacking the walls with her riding crop. All I heard after that were a series of my dear daughter's signature dragon roars, them some thunderous tremors and terrified screams.

And like that, Ilse has joined us! I immediately give her the otherwise-useless flame shuriken. Seriously, why did the Hoshidans even bother making this thing if nobody but maids and butlers can use them properly?

Moving on to Shigure, who cooked an absolutely fantastic meal for everyone! We are going to slaughter the next group to dare to oppose us!

Oh, speaking of food, that reminds me to visit Lilith to give her her daily meal.

Dakota: Here you go, Lilith, your favorite!

Lilith: Thank you so much, Dakota! Munch munch munch! ...Tell me, Dakota... how do you feel about your adventure so far?

Dakota: Come again?

Lilith: ...Do you feel you made the right choice when you were standing in the middle of that battlefield and sided with Hoshido?

Dakota: ...Yeah, it seems to be working out great! Honestly at first I only did it out of necessity, and I was terrified that I'd have to kill my family... but really, it's been... surprisingly easy. Xander is the only one left who opposes me right now, and I've gotten lots of practice in nonlethal combat. I was... honestly expecting to make tougher decisions.

Lilith: Those difficult decisions may very well come, Dakota. Never forget that. Your journey isn't over yet.

Ominous.

Anyway, I decided to use those magic boots on myself, since last battle taught me that I, being the strongest, am generally the most likely to be in need to get somewhere fast to save the day.

Also, I gave the Dragonstone+ to Kana. Normally I don't bother with these offense-crippling high-offense weapons, as the rare emergencies where they're just barely useful generally don't happen often enough to justify the carrying space. With this though, it gives great defensive bonuses that in certain cases may be worth the magic and skill crippling.

With that out of the way, let's get back to storming Castle Krakenburg!

So... Elise tells us that the secret passageway into the throne room is just a little further. Excellent! This is it, War Journal. This is the end. The end of my glorious journey, and the beginning of a new era. Time to storm the throne room, make a token effort to reason with Garon that will obviously fail because we snuck into his throne room, kill him, and then...

...Right. Here's the troubling part. You know all that talk I've been making about becoming king? Well... Xander's the rightful heir to the throne at the moment, and my marriage to Azura does nothing to change that. Now of course if I wind up forced to kill him, then I'd be next in line for the throne...

...Except for Camilla. Though frankly I think we've established that Camilla... would make a pretty terrible ruler of a country. But she would be the next in line after Xander.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that despite all my talk about becoming king... that's not going to happen unless something terrible happens. Something really terrible. Something I'd rather not think about, and that I'd like to think I've managed to avoid causing.

The throne is so tempting, War Journal, and I would gladly buy it with Garon's blood... but not the blood of my two eldest siblings. That would be unthinkable. So... in spite of all my posturing...

...Looks like I'm just going to have to settle for vengeance rather than power.

...Eh. There could be worse outcomes than that.

Very well. Let's end this.

OH SON OF A BITCH.

Since you are an inanimate book, War Journal, and therefore incapable of rational thought, let me fill you in: this is, in fact, not the Nohrian throne room. It's the training grounds. For the most elite soldiers in all of Nohr.

And now they've spotted us.

Greetings, cream of the mook crop! And the walking barrel of miasmic waste and feces masquerading as a human being! Congratulations on getting this far! Time for your final exam! One question, short answer: You find yourself face to face with Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr and his entourage of legendary soldiers and tamed Hoshidan mongrels. What do you do?

AAAAAAANH! WRONG ANSWER!

Oh goodie, another one of these battles. We're going to be surrounded again. This time without any alleyways to hide in.

Oh, and the mere presence of these things makes me nervous. Dragon veins never show up when they have no relevance whatsoever to the fight at hand. There will be air reinforcements, War Journal, count on it.

I think our top priority is to clear out this area. I'll set about preparing a formation to clear it out on the first “turn”.

...Is... is that the central heart of Castle Krakenburg down there? The place where the throne room we were trying to reach actually is? Hundreds of feet below us? In a completely different structure?

...How the fuck did we wind up here!? How is this place even connected to an underground sewage tunnel!? WAS THIS CASTLE CREATED BY AN ELDRITCH SEA MONSTER WITH NO CONCEPT OF EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY OR THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!?

...WE ARE NOW WELL PAST THE POINT WHERE WORDS COULD POSSIBLY DO JUSTICE TO HOW BADLY I WANT THIS CASTLE! WHY!?

...Right, here's my starting formation. We'll take control of the southern section and work things out from there.

No escaping this time, Hans.

Begin.

My masterful opening gambit.

Flawless. Victory.

And in the process, Oboro got a new skill!

Good news: Not everyone is storming our location.

Only these great knights...

...These heroes, the southern berserker and sorcerer...

...And this berserker and sorcerer.

I'm starting to think I need to beef up some of my units in the event that the inevitable air attack gets too dangerous, so I start handing out strength, resistance and defense tonics for everyone who needs them.

Then I prepare to play the baiting game.

This results.

I decide to retreat, and in the process I try out a fire orb for the first time. This isn't a particularly impressive one, sadly. Shigure stays behind to finish off the heroes he can easily tank.

Sure enough, air reinforcements arrive, though only from the southwest side, and not really in what I'd call unmanageable droves.

And now breathing room has been restored!

The wyvern lords close in and a great knight comes in from the south, but Shigure and I take care of all three of them with some help from Azura.

I decide to start on baiting the stationary enemies one by one in case they decide to charge me all at once if I stay put for too long.

I think Shigure has this section covered for the time being. I'll see if I'm needed elsewhere.

Due to a happy coincidence, I'm now in a position to test enemy behavior: nobody's manning this fire orb turret. Will they do so once somebody enters the turret's range? I'm guessing they will, since otherwise why would they be there, but I've never actually seen an enemy do so.

That would be a yes.

Oh look! Fliers that are even easier for Shigure to deal with!

After quite some time dealing with the trickle of reinforcements, some fliers finally decide to come in at a location that's even slightly inconvenient for us.

...Unfortunately for them, they are fools.

...Azura got a new skill, but I'm not entirely sure what it does. “Foreign army”? Does this refer to the purple ones?

Just some spoils from slowly wearing down the reinforcements.

Look at him. Standing there like a complete buffoon as more than a hundred of his elite soldiers, nearly the finest Nohr has to offer, the soldiers he was personally tasked with training, all charge at my merry band of fifteen and instantly unmake themselves against Ryoma's blade and Shigure's bow. Behind that atrocious fashion statement that had better not be real fur, I can practically smell the shit in his combat thong from here.

The reaper has come for your soul, you bald piece of shit, and he hungers for the salty taste of cowardice.

And lo, weakling, your precious reinforcements have at long last been exhausted. The soldiers of this castle have grown wise. They have all abandoned you to your fate.

Curse impotently at the gods that have found you wanting. Curse further the day you so foolishly chose to make me your enemy.

Weep silently, and await your demise. And thank me. Thank me even as I end your life...

...that I did not put my daughter to the task.

Goodbye, Hans.

You were nothing but a stepping stone for one who seeks the heavens.

Well, this is it, War Journal. We've officially infiltrated Castle Krakenburg. The final battle may not have been as close as I thought, but it is nigh, I assure you.

I can almost taste Garon's blood.

[Alastor15243]

Entry 31

Dear War Journal,

Yesterday was absolutely fabulous.

We started it off with some renovations on my treehouse and the records hall before moving into the real meat of the matter and doing some class reassignment.

Rejoice, my people, for your barefoot sex god has returned!

While the virgin white and gold is unspeakably gaudy, I am grateful to feel my own bare feet on the ground once more and start using my fancy sword again. This is the class I intend to end my career in, so let's see what the ultimate skill of this privileged royal class is! Though the lack of two-range combat is a little unfortunate, I don't think it was healthy to rely on that too much. It's time to start giving some serious training consideration to my other soldiers.

Specifically, Ryoma. He married a ninja, and now he must embrace this lofty opportunity. I've decided it's high time he used a partner seal to join his wife in the glory of the Giant Mechanical Lion. Not for too long, of course, he can't use his awesome sword in that class, but just long enough to see what cool skills it has to offer. But for the time being, I shall savor how well his glorious mane complements his glorious mount.

I think a little training exercise is in order. Let's have little hunting expedition with Takumi and Oboro's son, and pick him up while we're at it.

Nothing too huge, just a battle in a cramped forest against an army of flying purple ones at peak conceivable physical condition.

No biggie.

Dragon Ward remains as garbage as I suspected, but this! This thing is a must-have. Between that and Quixotic and two to three procs (still haven't decided on whether or not to include breaking sky), my proc rate is absolutely devastating. I feel I can take on the entire world now!

Meanwhile, the glorious Giant Mechanical Lion bears even more fruit than I expected. Ryoma works his way up the ninja/mechanist skill ladder and gets... this. He can now be in two places at once. As can his awesome sword.

Shigure also manages to score a few kills, and gets... this. It's not... as impressive as the skills Ryoma and I gained, but still, it'll be useful, especially now that my anti-air team has gotten a bit of a boost.

Meet our new kinshi knight, Kiragi, continuing the coincidental trend of all my kinshi knights having some shade of blue hair. He's not as good as my son, but he's an anti-air flier and that's what really matters. If I give him one more level, he'll get Amaterasu as well, and then he and Shigure can go out on air strikes far away from healers and still stay healthy. That personal skill is basically garbage for an archer though.

Also, Shigure and Sophie have started to hit it off! This should improve their performance together.

Anyway, I went to visit Lilith after that expedition to feed her, only to find her home empty and a note for me on the floor.

“Dear Dakota,

I have some important personal business to attend to, so I'm not going to be around for the foreseeable future. I've arranged for a little wisp creature to double for me if East Dakota gets invaded though. Have fun storming the castle!

Love,

Lilith”

Aw, it's gonna be weird not having her around.

Anyway, after he learned everything the Giant Mechanical Lion had to teach him, I decided to give Ryoma back his old class and sword.

In addition, upon realizing I have like five master seals that at this point I'll never use on an actual warrior, I figured I might as well give one to Rinkah, if only to increase the pair-up bonuses Kaden gets from her.

I also upgraded, and kicked the ass of, the arena twice. Then I considered getting a meal before heading out, but upon seeing the chef of the day...

...I thought better of it.

At this point I don't really think we need it. I read a couple of secret books, and now I'd say I'm pretty much unstoppable.

Very well! Time to head to the throne room and finish this!

Elise assures me she has the directions right this time, though after how catastrophically wrong they were last time, I must say I'm not quite as confident in her navigational skills as I once was.

But no, it seems she's right this time, and...

Dakota: Oh! Look what the cat vomited up on the carpet! A little bird named Iago.

Dakota: I should say the same to you! Tell me, why hasn't Garon killed you yet? He usually does that when people fail him, and that's kind of all you ever do. Fail. All the time. Forever.

Iago: E-excuse me!?

Kanna: Yep! Every day is fail day for Iago!

Shigure: Uh... Um... Oh! Good heavens, look at the time! It's fail time! For you! You being Iago!

Dakota: Good effort, son. So please, do tell, you're about to die anyway, so you might as well. Why hasn't Garon killed you? You've barely managed to do anything right so far. Do you have something on him? ...Oh. Oh! I see.

Iago: Wh-what? What do you see?

Dakota: I've figured it out now. I suppose you just have a special place in his heart.

Iago: ...What?

Dakota: Or, perhaps more to the point, he has a special place in your butt.

Iago: W-WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE-

Dakota: I ain't hatin', sweetheart. I'd love to dabble around in that stuff myself, but, well, y'know... monagamy's a drag, don't ya think?

Iago: THAT'S IT! TAKUMI! Broken arrow!

Dakota: ...Oh. Oh. Ooooooohhhhhhh...

Iago: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW WHO'S THE FAILURE!? Hint: IT ISN'T ME! I brainwashed Takumi with two layers of mind control to sneak a sleeper agent into your party, one you were certain you already cleansed of any brainwashing, then outright told you there was a traitor in your midst, an action that would either make you paranoid and look everywhere but at the actual traitor, or cause you to see through that and simply assume I was lying to make you paranoid! Don't you see? You've been completely outwitted, Dakota! I HAVE OUT-GAMBITTED THE ALLEGED MASTER TACTICIAN! WEEP! WEEP IN PATHETIC DESPAIR!

Dakota: Ah... aha... hahaha... hahahahaha.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Iago: What... why are you laughing? Why aren't you surrendering? WHY AREN'T YOU DESPAIRING WITH THE REALIZATION THAT YOU'RE AN IDIOT!?

Dakota: You... you-ho-hahahahahahaha... you mean to tell me... you mean to tell me you had Takumi, mighty royal scion, wielder of the almighty death bow Fujin Yumi... as a sleeper agent... and you never once thought to use that trigger phrase to make him shoot me during the 60% of my little adventure when I was riding Gigi!?

Iago: I, uh... what? I... I mean... that is... my plan is... my plan was...

Dakota: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Iago: Why are you laughing!? Have you completely forgotten that I have your wife hostage!?

Dakota: Of course not! Why do you think I'm distracting you?

Iago: Distra-? AH!

Oh the look on his face, War Journal. For you see, he turned around to see Kagero and my beloved children sneak up behind Takumi and overpower him, putting into action the contingency plan for a possible traitor that I had set in place but did not record in case my journal was being read.

Shigure: Mother's secure, father!

Kana: YAY! WE DID IT! WE'RE NINJAS, PAPA!

Dakota: Azura! Do your thing, and this time, go deeper into Takumi!

Azura: You are the ocean's gray waves... aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...

Iago: I... my plan... my beautiful, beautiful plan...

Dakota: Like I said, all you know is failure.

Dakota: Was it really five, Elise? There was that time with the wind tribe, that time in Macarath, then fort Dragonfall. I can't really remember a fourth and fifth time unless... wait... Iago... were you involved with the Ganglier incident... and that incident at wolfskin peak?

Iago: ...And if I were?

Dakota: I'd inflict such horrors upon you as to make archdemons scream their safe words.

Iago: ...Oh. Oh... Uh... gotta go!

Oh my dear sweet Iago. I do believe you've run out of places to hide.

Definitely need to watch out for their staff users. Some of them are packing this nasty thing. I don't want to even think about what would happen if they got one of my more fragile units with this.

Speaking of, I've upgraded Sakura's healing arsenal now that she's achieved an A rank in staves and rods. She's now a healing machine, and that great festal rod can heal everyone in a wide radius in the event of an emergency.

...This... could be useful, but the entrap strategists aren't in it, and depending on what it does it might destroy stuff we could get our hands on. I'll consider it though.

Right, top priority is clearing out this center area with the strategist right there. We'll be attacked on all sides afterwards, but not severely. A concern of the more long-term variety is that those hallways to the southeast and southwest look suspiciously like reinforcements could come from them, so I should keep that in mind.

Begin.

As usual, my opening gambit mostly involves making breathing room. And getting my first opportunity to try out replicate for DOUBLE RYOMA.

Only the lower great knights and, strangely, this maid, advance on our position.

As I suspected, reinforcements.

Royal treasure from the coffers of Castle Krakenburg itself! I must have it! No telling when the royal guard will simply allow outlaws in to clear it out just to spite me. The problem is that they're inside the range of that entrap strategist. However, I have a plan.

And I have Ryoma's double get one of the tools for it.

I'm not a huge fan of this skill, ideally there'd be no more HP left to take from anyone he attacks, but realistically, his attack power isn't so hot on odd-numbered turns against non-mounted units, so I'm sure it'll see plenty of action anyway.

I clear out the incoming foes and prepare to deal with the reinforcements. Up in the northeast corner you can see me with a kodachi planning to soften up a berserker to feed Kana a kill.

...Somewhat literally.

Both treasure hunting teams are now on the move.

Both treasure rooms see activity, with units moving in the west and maid reinforcements in the east. I'm going to have to wait for those maids to come to us. Between the defense-dropping shuriken launcher and the speed-dropping silver daggers, it's not safe to into that area right now.

Seriously!? More!?

Well, the reinforcements have died down in the treasure rooms. Almost time to deal with this bitch on wheels. But first, to be safe, I need to do a little experiment.

Have I mentioned how much I love replicate!?

...Right. Hexing rods have a base accuracy of 50. Time to look at the information I have and see how a hit chance of 81% against this berserker makes sense with the information I've been given, and work out the formula, then figure out what stats I need to dodgetank that entrap staff.

...It could be staff hit (50) plus mag (26) x 1.5 (39) = 89, and then subtract enemy res (89-8 = 81). But we need another sample.

...Right, that formula doesn't seem to be quite right. If it were correct we'd have a hit rate of 64, not 55.

So what we've learned is that the difference in stats between these two enemies results in the sorcerer having 26 more staff avoid.

What if hit is base hit plus double magic (50 + 52) and staff avoid is double resistance plus luck? That would mean against the berserker the staff would have a 102 – (16 + 5 = 21) = 81% chance, and...

...No good, by that formula the sorcerer would have a 46% chance to be hit, not 55%. Damn it! Does staff rank factor into it possibly? I think I need another sample, one with less drastic stat differences.

Bingo! 8 more res and 8 more luck means 16% better avoid. That could be a simple addition, but what if it were the same as evasion and were 1.5 res + .5 luck? That would mean that the general would have 30 avoid, the berserker would have 14, and the sorcerer would have 40...

...Which adds up! Which means Sakura has a base hit of 95 with a 50 hit rod. I'm fairly certain her staff rank might be fudging the numbers, so we need to see what a magic and luck tonic each do to her hit rates. Time to use the Ryoma Replica Relay again.

Again, for reference, here's her original hit rate against the berserker.

The +2 magic tonic increased hit rate by 2, though there could be rounding here depending on the formula, and then the +4 luck tonic didn't do anything.

A +2 skill tonic, on the other hand, increased it a further 2.

So she has a 99 hit rate now with a 50 hit staff, and magic and skill seem to both have a 1 to 1 connection, while luck does nothing. That seems to suggest it's staff hit plus skill plus magic plus a 5 bonus from A rank staves. Yes! I did it! I cracked the code! I...

...Have no means whatsoever to reliably dodgetank this woman. By my math she either has a 105 or 110 (Depending on whether the boost is at B or A; It's probably B though) hit rate with that thing. Kaden, my luckiest and most resistant fighter, has a staff avoid rate of (((33 x 3) + 26) / 2) = 62. Dodgetanking is not a viable option here, because I do NOT like that 48%.

I'll tell you what I do like though: Ryoma's colossal, danced and rallied up avoid rate, two range for dual guard building, and good defense! Now to bait and end her!

And after all that preparation... the staff missed.

This actually turned out to make things slightly more complicated in that it deprived me of an excellent opportunity to kill them all on counterattack, but regardless, the strategist fell, and I claimed my prize.

And after a rescue and dance into a less dangerous position, the western fire orb is down.

Swiftly followed by the eastern shuriken launcher. Time to claim the treasure.

This'll be good for Takumi if he can get his rank up a bit, but I think it's too late for that unless I use my two arms scrolls.

The store only had the one, so this is definitely nice.

I fail to see how temporary strength-halving could be worth anything but the most ludicrously colossal damage boost, but that defense may make it worthwhile. But frankly on counterattack one would probably be better off with the guard naginata. At any rate, I'm definitely going to use my two arms scrolls on Takumi, so I don't think Oboro has anywhere near enough time to learn how to use this.

Sweet! Another pair of these! I'm thinking Ryoma would be best off with this, since there's 2 of him and he's so amazing, but I'll sleep on the decision.

All that's left to do is destroy the last five soldiers uselessly holding their ground and then kill Iago.

And as the last guardian falls, Kagero gains Replicate as well.

Why hello there, Iago. I'd like to introduce you to my daughter. She loves picking flowers, playing with animals, and fighting for the glory of East Dakota. Hm... I'm pretty sure there's something else she enjoys too, what was it again? OH YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.

THE TASTE OF HUMAN FLESH.

Dig in, sweetheart! Nothing is too good for my little girl.

THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER, MY WIFE, AND EVERY WOLFSKIN ON MT. GAROU, YOU COWARDLY FUCK!

Kanna: RAWWWWWR!

Iago: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!

Dakota: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

...

...It is done.

...Whew! Excellent. Father is just up ahead. ...I suppose now would be a good time to make our final preparations.

...Until then, War Journal.

[Alastor15243]

Entry 32?

Dear Diary,

The final battle approaches. Dakota's forces approach Garon's room as we speak, and our forces are the last line of defense. Thankfully, it's the only line this castle needs. We have Xander, the strongest warrior in all of Nohr, Peri, an absolute monster on the battlefield, and of course, let's not forget yours truly.

But really, Xander's all we're going to need. He'll crush their morale by defeating the head and heart of this whole uprising and then that'll be the end of it. Gods I can't wait for this stupid war to be over. Reports say the battle on the Hoshidan front will be won any day now as long as we can repel this last-ditch uprising attempt. I'll let you know how it turns out, Diary.

Selena: Laslow! What are you doing?

Laslow: Selena!? ...I-is Beruka with you?

Selena: Sigh. No. She isn't.

Laslow: Ah, good. Well, then in that case, ahem... Why hello, Selena. Did you come all this way just to see me?

Selena: Cut the crap, Laslow, we're leaving.

Laslow: Wh... ...wha?

Odin: I know it sounds crazy, but we have to leave. Now.

Laslow: Leave? As in-

Selena: We picked the wrong world, Laslow. We picked the wrong world, and then we picked the wrong side while we were at it. There's nothing left for us here. It's over. We have to leave... or die.

Laslow: You're abandoning Nohr? Your lieges!?

Selena: I'm... I'm doing this on Camilla's orders. She... she knows where we're from. What we've been through. She has an awful feeling. She thinks something terrible is going to happen, and she wants me to save myself.

Laslow: And you, Odin?

Odin: …

Laslow: What's your excuse for abandoning Leo!?

Odin: Leo... he... he's...

Laslow: ...No. You can't mean...

Odin: ...I'm afraid so. All that bravado, all that talk of Odin Dark, of my aching blood... and for all that... I couldn't save him.

Laslow: Did Dakota...?

Odin: We have no idea. He said he was conducting some kind of independent investigation and then his corpse turned up one day in the woods. Garon says it was Dakota, but... I'm not sure. But the point is that Dakota easily could have, Laslow. And if Xander's going to force this to come to bloodshed... Laslow, Xander can't possibly win, let alone you.

Laslow: That's ridiculous! You've seen how powerful Xander is! There's no way-

Odin: I fought him, Laslow. He had Robin on his side. He overpowered Robin. Outsmarted Robin. I was attacked by the two of them, one after the other... there wasn't even a comparison to be made. Dakota's far more powerful than Robin ever was.

Laslow: I'm sticking with Xander, guys, I'm sorry. Dakota's not laying a finger on King Garon.

Selena: Laslow, King Garon. Is a fairy tale. Supervillain. I can understand loyalty to Xander, but don't pretend for an instant that Garon is worth saving, whatever Xander may think! I am not letting you throw your life away defending that deranged Caligula! We're leaving!

Laslow: Calm down, both of you! Xander is going to sort this out in a matter of minutes, I promise!

Selena: Laslow, listen to me! If you stay here... if Xander forces it to come to bloodshed... you are going to die! We have to get out of here! And we promised each other that above all else, we would stick together!

Laslow: I assumed sticking together involved us actually sticking! We've been here for three years! This is our home now! We can't just leave when things get dark!

Selena: Laslow, that's what we always do! We've done it tw-... once now, we can do it again, it'll be easy!

Laslow: I'M TIRED OF RUNNING FROM MY PROBLEMS, SELENA!

Selena: …

Odin: …

Laslow: Xander is about to face Dakota in single combat. He is going to win. This uprising will end. Everything will go back to normal, and then tomorrow we're going to head into town, eat at The Fountain of Hell like we do every week, and then we are all going to have a good long laugh about how silly you two were the other day. Understood?

Selena: …

Odin: …

Selena: ...Please, Inigo. Please. Don't do this. I know you. You're not prepared for this. Did you hear about Dakota's daughter?

Laslow: That's nothing but a stupid rumor spread by terrified rookies. There's no way Iago actually...

Selena: Inigo, you're shaking.

Laslow: I'm not coming with you. If you want to jump ship, I'll miss you dearly. But I'm never running again. And that's final.

Odin: ...Goodbye, Inigo.

Laslow: ...Take care of yourselves.

…

I can't stop them from leaving, Diary, however much I may want to. I... I have a job to do. It's my job to keep the other soldiers from interfering with this duel. It's all up to Xander now, and I have total faith in him. Any second now, we'll hear back from-

...Did you pick that up, Diary? ...Apparently not. There was a scream. A horrible, horrible scream. Was that Dakota being killed? I couldn't tell who it was... I've never heard anybody scream like that before.

Laslow: Peri! Come with me, we're checking it out!

Peri: Right!

It came from the-

...Oh...

...Oh gods no.

Dakota: Elise? ELISE! SPEAK TO ME! NO! No... No...

Silas: Dakota?

Dakota: ...

Silas: Dakota... I'm so sorry...

Dakota: ...Our... our goal... our goal remains the same. Make for Garon's room. Kill everyone who stands in your way. You hear me!? EVERYONE! NO MERCY! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT IN THE WORLD WORTH IT! UNDERSTAND!?

Silas: ...Yes sir!

...So it's come to this, Diary. I won't pretend to understand what happened. I don't think I have the heart to ask Xander when this is over. But we have a job to do now.

We will defend king and country, Diary. Everyone! ATTACK!

Despite the weight of the situation, our job is a simple one. Harry Dakota's troops to keep them from interfering with the duel, and buy Xander enough time to-

...What... what's going on?

...No! It can't be!

...This is a nightmare. It just has to be. THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY ACTUALLY BE HAPPENING. THIS BATTLE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THIS ONE-SIDED.

MY LIEGE!

XANDER! NO!

...Our liege is dead, Diary. Severa and Owain were right. He's too powerful. Far too powerful. Gods! Of all the places to be beset by an unstoppable foe, why did it have to be right outside of Garon's room!? Without Severa's pegasus there's nowhere for us to escape to but straight into the lair of Garon and his axe that has felled hundreds of deserters and traitors. We have no choice but to fight, Diary. I can only hope that the rest of his army isn't so terrifying.

I'm getting a sending stone message from the troops, Diary.

Dark Knight: Commander Laslow, sir! The high prince Ryoma is here! He's in the southeast corner, slinging lightning everywhere! He's accompanied by a woman riding what appears to me... some sort of machine, sir! I-

Malig Knight: Commander Laslow! We need backup! A red-armored swordsman with a lightning sword has just been sighted in the southwest corner! We're taking heavy losses! It's high prince Ryoma, sir! And there's a woman with him, riding-

Laslow: Some kind of machine!?

Malig Knight: How did you know, sir!?

Laslow: I just got an identical report from the southeast side! Are you sure it's Ryoma!?

Malig Knight: I'm certain of it sir, I.. Oh god, he's right on top of us! I... it can't be... THEY'RE GIANT PUPPETS, SIR! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A PAIR OF GIANT PUPPETS! AAAAAAAAUUUGH!

Laslow: Pull yourself together! If they're puppets, both fronts, focus your attacks on them! The magic used to animate those puppets makes them share injuries! Cavalry! You can move faster than them, rush them with lances and axes and bows and kill them quickly!

Great Knight: Sir! Our cavalry is taking heavy losses as well! Some kind of nine-tailed fox creature and a young man on a giant bird are cutting them down like wheat, and our great knights are falling to the woman on the weird mount too, she has some kind of specialized shuriken, sir!

They... they... they're slaughtering us left and right, Diary. Dakota hasn't even left the central room, but it makes no difference. It's as if they know everything we're about to do, everywhere we can and will go! They can read our moves with such ease it's as if we're as open as books! Our formations... our exercises... our maneuvers... all of our training... ripped apart and pinned to the wall by less than 20 people!

Peri: Laslow! They're coming for us! The east side's been completely overwhelmed! They're on me now! I... I'm sorry, Laslow, I tried my best, but... it's up to you now!

???: BEAUTIFUL AND DEADLY!

Peri: AAAAAAAAAAH!

???: (mocking laughter)

Laslow: Peri!? PERI!

(STOMP)

???: Whee! You're one of the enemy commanders, aren't you!? Yay! I'm gonna kill you now, okay? Papa will be so proud of me!

Oh... Oh gods, Diary. It's... the rumors are true. Dakota's daughter, “Kana the Cannibal”... she's real, Diary. There's a d-d-d-dragon the size of a bear towering over me right as we speak. She has blood all over... what appears to be her mouth... it's dripping onto the floor, Diary... I... I think I'm going to die.

...No. No, I refuse!

Kana: Are you talking to your book? Papa does that too! Where'd you get that fancy book, mister? ...Ah well, I guess it doesn't matter.

Laslow: I... I... I am Laslow, commander of this batallion! Your father killed my liege! I WILL LET NEITHER THAT! NOR YOU! PASS!

Kana: ...Are your hands shaking? HA! You're scared, mister! Well you should be! Papa never loses, mister! And neither do I!

Laslow: YAAAAAAAA!

Kana: YOU WON'T STOP ME!

Laslow: GAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

Kana: Yay! Eating time!

Shigure: Kana! Stop!

Kana: Oh you're no fun, big brother!

Shigure: You heard father's orders, we're here to stop Garon! The way is clear now! Let's go!

Kana: Ugh! Fiiiiiine!

...So this is how it ends, Diary. It seems like through the tiniest strokes of good fortune I have been spared from the worst possible way to die. Now... I'm simply going to die... alone... awash in my own blood... surrounded by the corpses of all of my fellow soldiers... Severa... Owain... everyone I left behind... I hope you're all safe...

I have nothing to add, War Journal. Let this man's entry serve as the record of what happened here. I have nothing left.

...Garon is ahead.

...Let's get this over with.

[Alastor15243]

Entry 33

No more games, War Journal. No more theatrics. No more posturing. Just vengeance.

I am the reaper.

He is my prey.

This is my scythe.

And you're in my way.

Begin.

Ryoma. Kagero. Replicate.

Sakura. Make sure you have all your supplies before I go.

I'll take point. Everyone else prepare to deal with the stragglers.

Everyone knows the drill by now.

Bait...

...and slaughter.

No mercy.

Bait...

...and slaughter.

No mercy.

...This couldn't be helped. At least... I don't think so... The range of the northeastern entrap strategist covered too many powerful enemies too deeply. Ryoma and I will have to risk it.

...The entrap strategist did nothing, War Journal.

I'll deal with her later. For now, these fliers.

Shigure has enough resistance that even if he didn't have a dual guard ready, he'd be able to take the strategist up there.

The western strategist is dealt with. Now to deal with the generals to take the bite out of the eastern strategist.

The dark knights came charging without their strategist.

After a quick retreat and an all-out assault, the battle... will be... as good as mine.

…

Four... to go.

Three.

Two.

One.

...

...It... it's done. It's finally...

...Why.

I don't know if you can still hear me in here, War Journal. It's... it's so dark... I...

...I failed. Never in my wildest nightmares did I even consider this possibility. I'm... I'm brilliant. I can do anything I set my mind to, can't I? I've come so far... so few losses... to simply fall here...

...Perhaps it's for the best, War Journal. I... I feel so tired. So empty. The burning thirst for vengeance that carried me here... it's burned out. I've simply lost too much to care anymore. There's... there's nothing... left. No... no more point... to anything.

Game Over, War Journal. Garon wins. I don't care anymore.

Azura: Dakota! Please! Get up!

…?

Shigure: Father! This isn't like you! This is nothing like you! Get up! Fight! Finish what we've started!

…!

Kana: Papa! PAPA! HELP! HE'S HUGE! I'M SCARED, PAPA!

...You took my mother before I could even understand her...

You took my big brother by twisting him to your wretched madness...

Through him you took my little sister, the only person for whom I would have even considered sparing you...

YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY WIFE...

AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY CHILDREN!

YOU WILL TAKE NOTHING ELSE! DO YOU HEAR ME, GARON!? NOTHING!

REJOICE, MY PEOPLE, FOR YOUR BAREFOOT SEX GOD HAS RETURNED, AND HE HUNGERS FOR BLOOD!

GARON! THIS ENDS! NOW!

[Alastor15243]

Entry 34

Let's do this, War Journal!

I have two main options. The first and most straightforward one is to saddle all my strongest units and Azura up with mounted transports to get everyone attacking Garon immediately out of the gate before he has a chance to react.

The downside of this is that I'll have no time to replicate Ryoma or Kagero, and that if it fails...

...which is entirely possible due to the weird nature of this power that doesn't seem to work quite as advertized and is rather unpredictable...

...Then I'm basically screwed.

The other option is to retreat over to here, hollow out a safe area, and work my way back up and strike him when he'll have fewer forces to get in the way, this time with two Ryomas and two Kageros (though only one of the latter will really be necessary).

The downside of this, however, is that Garon has access to these dragon veins, and mass damage is something I can't keep at bay for too long, as Sakura only has two great festal uses left.

Ultimately I decide to go with the all-out rush, because the sigils all over the battlefield scream “reinforcements”, and I don't think I'll ever get as good a shot at this as I'm going to now. It's definitely the more dangerous strategy, War Journal. But as a great man once said...

Those who play it safe never achieve greatness.

I can't afford to make any mistakes. I'm trading trample for Rend Heaven to reduce my proc failure rate from around 20% to less than 6%.

I've prepared all the important players and given them the relevant tonics from my dwindling supply (I really should've brought more, I didn't expect them to wear off halfway through the final battle, but it's too late to worry about that now).

Begin.

This calls for desperate measures, War Journal. I have to pull out all the stops. Even if it means doing the unthinkable. The unspeakable.

Something I've never done before. Something I hope to never do again.

I ask Azura to go all-out with her song. THAT song. Why would I do such a thing? However much I may hate it... that hatred is tempered by my love for my wife.

Garon has no such defense. This hurts him infinitely more than it can hurt me.

Game time, War Journal.

Go for broke.

LET'S ROCK!

First, I have Oboro use her switch skill on Ryoma, a little trick to get Ryoma one space closer to Garon without pairing him up. This is important.

Then, I have Silas take down the general taking up a crucial position...

...A position I need Ryoma to fill. Kagero has to fire her silver shuriken via dual strike or she'll die instantly on the counter-attack (hence why I didn't pair Ryoma up), and if I can manage to get that shuriken to hit, that'll be a huge boon in dealing with Garon. The odds aren't good, but I have to try.

The attack is successful, all three attacks hit, and Ryoma criticals twice.

Game over, Garon. That just sealed your fate.

THIS ENDS NOW!

It's... it's over. It's finally... over...

Don't flatter yourself, Garon. You tried. And you failed. Twice. I think this proves that I'm the superior military menace. You may die now.

...I... I did it! Azura! We did it! He didn't stand a chance against that song... that song... what...?

...Azura? What? WHAT!? NO! NO! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU WERE ONLY SINGING THAT SONG FOR ABOUT A MINUTE! WHY!? HOW!?

AZURA!

AZURAAAAAAAAAA!

Final Entry

...The last few days have been... eventful, War Journal.

After Garon's death, most of my forces returned to Hoshido. They sang my praises, calling me a tactical mastermind and a grand liberator who brought Garon's regime to an end with zero casualties.

No one died.

Nobody.

Not as far as anyone in my army could remember.

Not many of my soldiers stayed behind. All the Hoshidans left, as I said, and Robin left as well, unable to look me in the eye for some reason. Silas and Sophie stayed, while Hana headed back to Hoshido. Scarlet stayed, but Shura went back to rebuild Koga. Kana stayed, of course, but...

...Remember that question I asked a while ago?

About what would happen to everyone's memories if a parent died?

I now know the answer.

Everyone in the army but Kana thinks that she was born from some random woman I invited into East Dakota and slept with one time and who dumped her on me when she got warp-speed pregnant.

As for Shigure, everyone thinks he's a mysterious Hoshidan orphan we picked up.

Including Shigure himself.

As if we weren't already distant enough, he's now completely forgotten that he's my son. Mere minutes after watching Azura evaporate in my arms, he politely shook my hand and said “Well, Dakota, this is goodbye. I fear I must return to my home in Hoshido. But it was nice working with you”.

I... I couldn't force him to stay, War Journal. Kana was confused and cried for days, but if what little we had is gone, I might as well let him live his own life with whatever new memories he's been given.

So four of my soldiers stayed. A handful. Nearly nothing. But it made no difference. Even the bare few that remained, and the sheer reputation they and I had amassed, were enough to ensure nobody questioned my claim to the Nohrian throne.

Especially since... there was nobody left to claim it.

I... I learned it shortly after coming down from the tower. As if I hadn't lost enough already, I learned that Garon had already killed Leo shortly after our encounter in the swamp. And Camilla...

...Upon hearing what happened to Xander, Leo and Elise, she... she threw...

...She threw herself off the highest tower she could find.

So... that left me next in line for the throne. Not counting my two children with Azura's blood in their veins, I was the closest thing to anything vaguely resembling Nohrian royalty the kingdom had left.

Garon's death.

The crown.

The throne.

My bloodstained cape.

Everything I set out to do, everything I swore into your pages that I would accomplish...

...I've succeeded.

…

SO WHY DO I FEEL SO EMPTY!?

Why do I feel like my dozens of victories have all been crushing defeats!?

I've gained everything I wanted to gain, but I've lost everything I wanted to keep! This...

...I can't...

I'll be honest, War Journal... I don't want to go on. But I can't abandon Kana. I guess I'll just have to force my way through life for her sake. ...Somehow.

???: Dakota... I never thought I'd see you like this...

Dakota: That... that voice...

Dakota: Lilith! It's you! And... you're human again! I thought you said you couldn't return to that form! Where have you been!?

Lilith: I've been very busy, Dakota. Very busy. Making important preparations. Because I suspected something like this would happen.

Dakota: ...I never would've thought you such a pessimist. Oh wait... you don't know everything-

Lilith: That Azura's dead and Shigure's forgotten he's your son? I heard about that little test you ran with your kids before, Dakota, with the list of names. I'm amazed you didn't ask me. I remember Azura, and Kaze and Rhajat too.

Dakota: ...That's... nice. It's nice to have somebody besides Kana who knows what I'm going through...

Lilith: Dakota... as impossible as you may find this to believe... I actually have news that will cheer you up!

Dakota: You're right. That is impossible. The only thing I want right now is the power to go back in time and fix everything.

Lilith: …

Dakota: …

Lilith: …

Dakota: ...Lilith... why are you smiling?

Lilith: …

Dakota: ...No.

Lilith: …

Dakota: No! You can't be serious!

Lilith: What do you think I've been doing all this time? I've been experimenting with the dragon veins in the astral plane to harness its time-bending powers!

Dakota: You... you can take me back?

Lilith: Yes. But not to improve upon your current adventure. To start a brand new one.

Dakota: What do you mean?

Lilith: There were several paths you could have taken in that fateful hour in that Hoshidan field. You picked the wrong one. I... trust you don't take it as an insult when I say that you ruling Nohr in your current state would be disastrous for Nohr's future, almost as bad as Garon himself. Forces beyond our understanding are at work here, Dakota. The right path must be chosen and completed or else the world will be doomed. I... I can't say more, mostly because I don't know more... and I also can't tell you what the right choice is, for the same reason. You'll have to figure it out for yourself.

Dakota: That's helpful.

Lilith: There's just one thing, Dakota. Something you'll have to give up.

Dakota: I wasn't aware I had anything left to lose.

Lilith: ...You can't take all of your memories back. I have to send you back to the first time you stepped in the astral plane, that's how the temporal veins work... but there are some things I can't let you know when you get there. It would be disastrous to the timeline if you changed course before... let's call it “the branch of fate”. And also, there are some other memories that just won't survive the journey. But you will remember the mistakes you made, and you will know to try a new path.

Dakota: Done. Send me back, I'm ready!

Lilith: Alright. Give me your War Journal. I'll keep it in a time pocket so it'll survive the return to the past. I'll give it back to you when it's safe for you to read it. You'll have a new one with you... or should I say your old one... when you wake up.

Well then... this is goodbye, War Journal.

Here's to new beginnings.

To second chances.

TO GLORIOUS VICTORY!

TIME FOR TAKE TWO!

And... with that, "Season 1" of Dakota's War Journal is complete! I'll be starting on Conquest in a day or two. But first, I thought I'd take this moment to ask people, since I haven't gotten too much feedback, what they thought of "season 1". What did you like? What didn't you like? What was your favorite entry? Least favorite? I'd like to know so I can improve for Conquest.

Edited December 23, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Omegaprism]

Okay, so, feedback!

Let me first say, wowie zowie bananarang, that was biggity-bomb doodangalang zipzap crackadakka- This is getting away from me- It was good! My favorite bits were easily your expansion on the characterizations of the Nohrian royalty, especially Garon. You managed to make him more interesting and keep to his in-game portrayal as "lolevulz" at the same time. My favorite entry was hands-down the wolfskin incident. Other positive notes include Dakota having an actual personality. Arrogant, calculating, with a humorous smirking quality to his musings, that was all great. Also, I am surprised to say I wouldn't have minded hearing a little more from Shigure. He gave me a chuckle or two.

Things I was less thrilled about were most of the bits involving the children, but I will openly admit that probably has more to do with there having been no effort made on Fates' part to make them fit into the story or even the world, and so any attempt to integrate them is going to have some tall hurdles to jump. I generally don't like Kana (a shame since I really liked Morgan) so I didn't like her this time around either. I found myself mostly wanting to hurry through the child paralogues so I could get back to the proper narrative.

That said, the bits detailing the awakening trio, Robin, and the time-travel/dimension hopping all had me along for the ride. I like that kind of stuff, though, so maybe I'm not the best critic. I can't wait to see more!

TL:DR version

I liked: Dakota, the Nohrians, the main plot, transdimensional shenanigans

Pleasant surprises: Shigure, Garon backstory

I didn't like: The children (Except Shigure. I don't even know why. In-game I find him just as pointless as the others.)

Overall: Two thumbs up!

[Alastor15243]

TL:DR version

I liked: Dakota, the Nohrians, the main plot, transdimensional shenanigans

Pleasant surprises: Shigure, Garon backstory

I didn't like: The children (Except Shigure. I don't even know why. In-game I find him just as pointless as the others.)

Overall: Two thumbs up!

Thanks for the feedback!

Yeah, I think the children were terribly integrated to the game too. The alternate explanation for how they work that I came up with was mostly an effort to make it both logically consistent (which the original totally isn't, it just glosses over NINE FUCKING MONTHS OF CHILDBIRTH and the notion that the castle isn't a safe place for children and that it's safer to have them grow up virtual orphans due to time warp shenanigans is total bullshit) and, hopefully, funnier. Sorry it failed to entertain you as much as I had hoped, personally Dakota's initial introduction to the existence of future children is one of my favorite moments that I wrote.

I'm glad you liked the stuff I did with those three Nohrians, it's stuff I had planned as a constant from the instant I knew those characters would be in the game. Some stuff changed due to unexpected circumstances, obviously, what with me playing it mostly blind, but the gist was planned from the get-go :)

Edited March 23, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Alright, oooooone more poll question. I know I said I wouldn't use any DLC, just the amiibos, but I'm debating whether the path bonuses should count. Now that I've cleared the game once, should I say that the rift caused by time travel spilled some goodies like dread scrolls into Dakota's castle, and that some more will spill in once he goes the path of Revelation? Or should I classify those as banned DLC too and not allow them?

Edited March 24, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Omegaprism]

Doooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

They come free for anybody that owns more than one path, and they're a finite resource per run. It's not as though they'll break the game.

[Alastor15243]

Doooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

They come free for anybody that owns more than one path, and they're a finite resource per run. It's not as though they'll break the game.

That seems to be the unanimous consensus of the poll. I was just concerned because the classes are Dread Fighter and Dark Falcon (though that's not until Revelation), the two classes that basically formed the central core of the metagame of Awakening.

What the hell, I'll use 'em.

I'll get started tomorrow. But just to clarify, I'm re-LPing chapters 4 and 5 for story purposes since as Lilith said at the end of Birthright, she has to send Dakota back to the first time he made contact with the astral plane.

Also, this is where some level of "audience participation" comes in, at least depending on how the wireless castle sharing features work. Dakota will occasionally visit other people for resources and I think there's a lot of comedic potential in interacting with other rulers of pan-dimensional castles. I haven't done much research on it to avoid spoiling the degree to which this playthrough is still blind, but if it turns out people can send me stuff directly if I post my castle address, feel free to send me anything you think might be amusing or interesting!

And can somebody please send me a battle with a non-overpowered Rhajat in it somewhere down the line?

Edited March 25, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

BOOK 2: Conquest

Entry 1

I'm back at Bottomless Canyon! I still have Ganglari! It worked! Lilith is a genius! I'm back in the past! I have a second chance to do everything right and-

...Helloo...

Did someone order the royal chef's finest Nohrian cheesecake?

I don't know what the hell happened, but I am not complaining! Damn I look fabulous! And look! Apparently in this alternate reality or temporal-vortex genderbending or whatever's going on, Camilla actually taught me the secrets to her forbidden art of wearing armor without pants!

Take heed, mortals! Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr has a shiny new vagina, and she's not afraid to use it!

Now time to get my bearings, gather my thoughts, mull over the things I can remember, and plan my course of action-

PAIN.

...Well that was embarassing. Whether this was some of the knowledge Lilith told me I wasn't allowed to bring back, or I was simply caught up in my excitement over my... newly acquired assets... I completely forgot until it was too late that this was the moment I got clubbed over the head by Rinkah and dragged back to her little hut. Yes, her. I have confirmed that Rinkah is indeed still female, so presumably I'm the only one whose gender was changed by the rewind. What a shame. I cannot lie, War Journal, I was curious to see what Xandria, Cameron, Leia and Elliot would look like. Ah well.

Incidentally, my memories from this new timeline are starting to come back to me.

...Somehow, not a lot has changed. The most significant and relevant difference I can remember is that Jakob joined me on my mission instead of Felicia. Other than that, my life has been basically the same, I suppose largely due to my isolation in the Northern Fortress. Camilla acted a little differently around me though, thankfully. I don't want a repeat of...

...Right, that reminds me, enough about remembering the past, what I need to do is remember the future. Right, something... something happened. Something soon in this timeline. And it caused the war between Hoshido and Nohr to escalate. And it caused me to vow to kill Papa G-

EUGH. Gods, gotta kill that reflex immediately. I'm never calling him that again. I remember all of those painful suppressed childhood memories, I remember all the shit he put me through, I remember that he's not even my real father...

...But no, there's more. There was something else. Some other major catalyst. Something that made me want his head. Something... something...

...This is probably one of those things I was forced to forget. ...I guess it can't be helped then. I suppose I'll just have to act as I normally would and allow events to unfold. Whatever happened didn't kill me last time, obviously. What's the worst that could happen?

The point is, I'll reach that crucial moment again, that moment where I stood in that field, with both sides begging me to join them. I remember that so vividly. During the previous timeline, I sided with Hoshido in order to ensure military support in overthrowing Garon.

That choice...

...did not end well.

The lesson is plain as day: I can't fight Garon through warfare, the price will be too high. I publicly betrayed my home country in the name of revenge, and that made it trivially easy for Garon to play my siblings against me.

I have to fight him from within, through political subterfuge. I need to keep Garon's trust long enough to secure the allegiance of my siblings and an army of soldiers more loyal to me than to him, and then stab him in the back at the crucial moment.

This will require me to feign allegiance to Garon for some time, and probably fight against Hoshido.

That's going to be difficult, definitely. Hoshido has fearsome weapons, powerful soldiers, and Giant Mechanical Lions.

...But Nohr will have me.

And that is the only ace in the hole it will ever need.

...Still, it doesn't hurt to prepare. I'll need some assistance for the brief time that I'm here. Somebody I can trust. Somebody loyal not to a country, but to me.

Ah! Kaze! Yes, he will do nicely. I really will have to make sure he doesn't get himself killed this time.

Dakota: Kaze, my good man! Good to see you escaped Nohr safely!

Kaze: I'm glad you're safe as well, milady.

Dakota: Ooh! Milady! I'll have to get used to being called that!

Kaze: Pardon?

Dakota: Never mind, it's unimportant. Not like the things I need to discuss with you. In private.

Kaze: I am all ears, milady.

Dakota: Heeheehee! Ahem! Right. Listen, Kaze, I have something of the utmost importance to tell you. Something that could determine the fate of the continent. Something you must tell nobody else, no matter what authority they command, no matter how much you may care about them.

Kaze: Understood, Princess Dakota. I shall not speak a word of this.

Dakota: Kaze... I'm from the future.

Kaze: ...What?

Dakota: The near future. Terrible things have happened, and I've been sent back in time to set things right.

Kaze: Milady, I am sorry, but I cannot possibly believe that-

Dakota: You blame yourself for my kidnapping. You were but a child, but you blame yourself because you feel you had the power to stop it. You told me yourself, shortly before you gave your life to save me. Yes, Kaze, I'm sorry to say you were one of the many casualties of the disastrous events to come.

Kaze: ...What do you need from me, Princess Dakota?

Dakota: Excellent. Listen very closely. In 20-48 hours time, something terrible is going to happen, a huge tragedy that will plunge this whole continent into full-scale war.

Kaze: And you have returned to prevent it? Very well. What is this catastrophe?

Dakota: Sadly, I do not know. I've not been sent in time to prevent the war, something about a branch of fate or something. The fates have only given me the power to do damage control on the aftermath. The first time around, I sided with Hoshido. It... did not go well. Too many good Nohrians died for lasting peace or stability to be possible.

Kaze: ...I see, milady. That is... regrettable.

Dakota: So this time, I'm going to try siding with Nohr to overthrow Garon from within the system. I will have to outwardly appear to be fighting Hoshido. You are one of the only people in this country I feel confident will join me in this effort. Your skills will be invaluable. Will you join me?

Kaze: My life is yours, milady. I will follow you wherever your path may take you.

Dakota: Not... quite how I imagined you would say it, but it'll have to do. Right, first thing you need to know is-

WHOOSH!

Dakota: WHOOO! HOT DAMN THAT COLD BREEZE FEELS WEIRD DOWN THERE, BUT I LIKE IT!

Kaze: …

Dakota: Ahem! Right. I'll let you know what I need you to do when it's relevant. But for now, just remember: Tell no one.

Kaze: ...Understood milady.

Right. Now, let's go to meet my mother, shall we?

Right, here we are back at the Hoshido capital. Time to act all surprised upon being reunited with-

...War Journal...

...Words cannot properly describe the sensation I felt right then. Did this actually happen last time? ...Perhaps I just didn't react the same way because I found it so hard to believe she was really my mother, but...

...That's the first time I can remember a parent ever hugging me.

...Or showing me any affection at all.

I mean my Nohrian brothers and sisters did, of course, but...

...Is this what it feels like to have a parent who genuinely...

...loves you?

I... I'm very confused right now, War Journal. I... ugh, why can't I remember? There's an obvious hole in my memory, a hole that I'm sure I should be able to identify just by the shape it leaves behind, but every time I try to piece together what doesn't make sense due to what I remember, my brain fogs up and I lose my train of thought. I know I'll remember in a couple of days...

...So why do I want so badly to remember now?

...Enough, War Journal. I can't focus on this. I have to focus on my plans. I have to focus on my efforts to kill Garon. I need to make my preparations to...

...Betray Hoshido...

...Ah, finally, this is familiar territory!

Once again, I need to use this valuable exercise to train Kaze. While I lost all of my skills and training when I went back in time, I've gained more than enough of them back for the time being.

Right now I have to focus on Kaze, by far my most useful ally, and probably the only access I will have to the valuable ninja tree while in Nohr.

Rinkah, on the other hand, can make herself useful as a dual strike partner and nothing else. I'm positive she won't join me even after I saved her, and even if she would, I've been, ahem, “burned” by her enough times already.

Just like before, Rinkah gets the goddess icon from the village. I have her give it to me for safekeeping.

...Along with her weapon. Might as well, it'll be more useful for Nohr with me than her at least.

I have Rinkah pair up with me and then I ready the dragon vein, remembering my near-fatal mistake last time and making sure to keep Kaze completely out of enemy range.

Seeing how the enemies are totally uninterested in charging me and are heading for my two Hoshidan sisters, I decide the only way I'll be able to train Kaze is by taking some initiative. I have Kaze get into the thick of things and pass Rinkah to him like a human accessory. He should be strong enough to one-round the faceless before Ryoma can kill-steal.

Yep, I was correct. And he dodged too!

Then I remember that ninjas give a movement bonus when paired up, so I put Rinkah in front to help catch up with these faceless before they suicide against Hinoka.

Alas, the next one took advantage of terrain and Kaze failed to one-round it. Ryoma took the kill.

Realizing that with this next one that defense nerf is not a skill I want activating on a ninja, and noticing that Ryoma's too for away to do kill-steal, I decide to bait this next one with Rinkah first for Kaze to finish off. I also temporarily give Rinkah her club back due to the faceless's higher defense than its peers meaning Kaze can't one-round it otherwise.

And for all that planning it goes after Hinoka.

Looks like I'll have to be more direct. I wouldn't normally do this, because failure to kill would normally mean the two faceless might kill Kaze together, but he's got a dual guard coming up to soften the blow.

The other one chooses to spite me by suiciding into Hinoka.

Thanks to a lucky dodge, however, there's still a chance to kill the one attacking Sakura.

I have Rinkah lead the pair to maximize movement speed with Kaze's pair-up bonus. They should make it in time.

Let's hope this works.

It does.

An extremely encouraging first level up for Kaze.

Now only these four remain. No problem, I'll deal with them the same way as last time.

Ooh! Sakura's handing out free heals! Better take advantage of that, I took a bit of damage.

Also, Hinoka gave me a much-needed mid-tier healing item! I'll be saving this!

Dealing with the final faceless goes fairly well.

I try to exploit the strength-sapping boss to weaken myself to feed Kaze some more kills, but I one-round him, so instead I feed the final one to Kaze by just having him jump into the fray alongside Rinkah.

And with that, we're done here!

Hinoka's big sister instinct manifests itself... rather strangely... but otherwise, same song and dance, same possibly unintentional passive-aggressive threat.

...

I think I can manage.

I've returned to the castle, and I'm currently walking around the garden. Mother just showed me my old room again. ...So that really was my room. That really was my old toy lion scooter.

My own drawings of Mother and...

...Sumeragi, I believe, was his name? I've been told he was double-crossed during an alleged peace conference in Cheve. Gods, what a colossal simpleton. What manner of irresponsible lunatic heads to a peace conference deep in enemy territory bringing no soldiers, no retainers, no backup, nobody but their own five year old child? Lunacy. What kind of world leader, hell, what kind of responsible adult, would do something so mind-blowingly stupid!? Why, had I only been just a few years older, I would have seen through such an obvious trap even then!

...If I had been just a few years older... he'd still be alive.

...If I had been just a few years older...

...I'd have grown up with two parents who loved me.

...Sorry, War Journal, I... didn't expect my train of thought to take that sudden swerve.

...Right... whatever the case, I have to keep focused on preparing to defect back to Nohr when the time comes. It'll be any day now, whatever's going to happen will happen soon, and I need to be ready for it. I've done well so far, I have to say. But I mustn't let down my-

???: You are the ocean's gray waves...

Oh gods not that song again! That song, that...

...That singer...

...I... I remember you... don't I?

...Yes... the singer... Azura. An invaluable member of my team. Instrumental in my victory... a loyal ally to the very...

…?

...NNNGH... my head hurts... I... ...I suppose this is something I'll have to wait to remember later.

I'm going to head to bed, War Journal.

Until tomorrow.

Edited March 26, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Nintales]

Time for West Dakota to emerge!

oh wait you're after saving the world

Is there still time for WEST DAKOTA?

[Alastor15243]

Time for West Dakota to emerge!

oh wait you're after saving the world

Is there still time for WEST DAKOTA?

Damn it, you stole my thunder! Yes, that is what I plan to name this route's My Castle :)

Also it's not saving the world so much as killing Garon without losing Dakota's loved ones.

Edited March 25, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Entry 2

Dear War Journal,

It's early afternoon, a day after I wrote last. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen soon. I still can't wrap my head around why I have this massive sense of dread, and the anxiety is starting to get to me. I wish destiny would just get it over with already.

I reached the part where Mother asked me if I'd like to sit on the throne. I remember this happening last time. I figured it was part of her cultish witchcraft last time. I know better now.

And yet...

...And yet now that throne scares me. It could give me back all of my past memories.

It could give me knowledge that would grant me the power to tear the fabric of space and time apart at the seams.

It might even turn me back into a dude. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, I'm not too keen on destroying all of reality by altering history at the wrong point.

...But that's not all the knowledge I can't remember, is it? There's something else, something that has to do with events occurring way after today. There's knowledge that's being kept from me. Part of me wants to know what that knowledge.

...But another part of me suspects that regaining this knowledge... could somehow only hurt me.

But anyway, I'm heading into town so Mother can make an announcement about my presence here. In the meantime, I've had Kaze get to work on trying to procure some supplies for us. Hoshidan weapons are quite different and in many ways, dare I say... superior to Nohrian ones, and to be perfectly honest, I've lost count of the number of times I would've been screwed if my healers didn't have that one extra space to heal from with their festal rods. However, lacking any funds and being unable to justify the expense to the Hoshidan royal family, I've had to have Kaze try to steal some from the royal armory. Ah, here he is now, let's see what his report is!

...He was unsuccessful. Damn it! That's going to be a major blow to my strategy. I'll have to take what I can get from our soon-to-be former allies.

...Incidentally...

...Speaking of soon-to-be former allies...

...With this being the first time I've ever interacted with Takumi where I wasn't either terrified for my life at this point in the previous cycle, or overwhelmed by how useful he is to me in battle at all other times...

I've started to notice that Takumi's kind of a big, whiny bitch.

Moving on, as we're approaching the town center, the big, weird eyeball in the hilt of Ganglari is twitching and rolling around rather ominously. Y'know, I never really noticed that the sword had an eyeball before. I mean, that's weird, considering how long I've been using...

...no... wait... yes, that's right... it was destroyed... and I got Yato instead. That's how I knew I was back in the past...

...But when did it get destroyed? When-

...No.

No!

NO!

Mikoto: ...You were not hurt? Tell me you're okay...

Dakota: I-I'm fine...

Mikoto: I'm... so glad...

...MOTHER!!!

…

NO! I must... I must stay strong! I must keep my head! I must keep my mind! The beast will not consume me again! I need to be awake for this! This is crucial!

Mark the ones with Wyrmslayers.

Feed as many kills to Kaze as possible.

Appropriate Sakura's bloom festal and take as little damage as possible to conserve on both it and vulneraries.

Ryoma was defeated by the hooded Nohrian swordmaster unfortunately early, so I can only hope I do enough-

...Wait a minute... Nohrian... swordmaster? The hell?

The Hoshidans did tell me last time that this was an attack by Nohrians, didn't they? But these are... yes, I remember them now! The Purple Ones! How did the Hoshidans mistake them for Nohrians!? They're purple and translucent! Did Nohr have nothing to do with this attack after all?

...But then... didn't Garon...? Yes, Garon did tell me he orchestrated this plot to kill Mother.

...Garon is also the only person I've ever seen aside from the Purple Ones who commanded stoneborn.

...And he told me that Ganglari was infused with the power of another world...

...Does this mean that Garon is in league with the Purple Ones!?

...There will be time to ponder such questions in Nohr. For now, we have to clear out this filth. Kaze, use your built-up dual guard to counter-attack the dark mage.

Reinforcements.

Backing up.

Glad I scouted this area before with my dragonvision and confirmed it wasn't a dead-end.

I originally was banking on a dual guard to allow Kaze to tank both these dark mages one more time on the retreat, but then I remembered that the dark mages are too heavily hurt for him to attack them twice, and the dual guard would just barely fail to build up in time. So I wind up using two uses of the vulnerary instead of one. It's only after this that I remember Sakura's defensive aura that would have allowed him to survive even then. Damn.

Due to a bit of short-sightedness with self-placement, I am unable to one-shot both of the wyrmslayer mercenaries at once with Azura's song like I had hoped I would.

Thankfully I have the health to just barely facetank his partner.

Kaze, with the dual guard from Rinkah now built up, prepares to take out the remaining dark mage reinforcement.

He's thankfully shaping up to be pretty great.

Not gonna waste vulneraries or bloom festal uses on this. Azura's personal skill will do the job. Eventually.

Too much health to one-shot, and it's too inaccurate to risk. I'll have to play it safe and not risk two consecutive attacks.

That should have been satisfying, War Journal. I just killed the thing that murdered my mother.

...So why do I have this sneaking feeling that in the last timeline, it survived this?

...I'm back to normal, War Journal. I even managed to hear Azura mispronounce “waters” without choking her this time. Hah. Hah.

...It's time, War Journal.

Xander!

Camilla!

Leo!

ELISE!

Dakota: I... You're all alive! Oh gods... I... I...

Leo: Dakota? Are you... crying?

Elise: ...She is!

Camilla: ...FIENDS! MY LITTLE SISTER HASN'T CRIED IN TEN YEARS! WHAT DID YOU MONGRELS DO TO HER!?

Dakota: Nothing, Camilla! They didn't do anything to me! I just... I just thought... I thought I'd never see any of you again! I... it's been so long...

Elise: Dakota? ...You just saw us five days ago...

Dakota: Y-yes... that's right... it was just five days, Elise. Just five days.

Just five days.

All of that...

That...

...was just a nightmare.

A horrible, horrible nightmare.

...And now it's over.

Dakota: I... I... I'm... I'm finally...

I'm home...

I'm finally home!

[spoiler=About Conquest's difficulty]

Conquest is definitely a step up from Birthright, that's for sure. I've got a lot of advance planning in store though, and I'll elaborate on that next update :)

[Alastor15243]

Alright everyone, reader participation has begun!

Post a screenshot of your calling card (or just post the information on it I guess) and then I may very well visit your castle and interact with your group in some way!

Or if there's some way I'm not yet aware of (playing blind and all) for you to use this info I just gave you to send me your information directly through the game, feel free to do that too!

Edited March 27, 2016 by Alastor15243

[Alastor15243]

Entry 3

Dear War Journal,

Welcome to West Dakota!

Our main exports are cabbage and onyx, apparently. Odd. I assumed last time that it was directly connected to my own boon and the weapon type my heart seal class uses. But nope, I got resistance and daggers.

And Jakob found a pen, so that's nice.

Speaking of Jakob...

...He's... basically the only ally working with me at the immediate moment. Nobody followed me when I defected back to Nohr, and I lost contact with Kaze. I do hope he's alright, it would be a poor turn of events if I lost him again.

...Plus he was carrying all the stuff I stole from the Hoshidans. It would be great if I had that right now.

But it can't be helped at the moment. Right now I have to prepare for whatever Garon has in store for me upon my return.

So yeah, until then, Jakob's my only direct ally.

Oh! Except for Lilith of course!

Dakota: Hope you like cabbage, Lilith, that's all we have at the moment.

Lilith: Cabbage is fine, thank you Dakota!

Dakota: Any time!

Lilith: So... you chose to side with Nohr.

Dakota: I figured a surgical strike after maintaining Garon's trust would be less... messy.

Lilith: Fair enough, I suppose. I'll support you however I can, Dakota.

Dakota: I appreciate that, Lilith.

Lilith: But I have to ask... how did it feel?

Dakota: How did what feel?

Lilith: Betraying your blood family, the people you fought with for months, of course!

Dakota: Oh. That. ...Huh. Y'know, I didn't really give it that much thought. I mean I'll definitely miss what they could bring to the table, but the choice didn't really break me up. Our interests just lined up last time around. I'll have to find new allies this time, but I'm not really gonna miss them.

Lilith: ...Oh...

Dakota: You sound disappointed.

Lilith: It's nothing, Dakota.

Dakota: Moving on, I've been meaning to ask... why am I a woman!?

Lilith: Oh! That! Hahaha! I, uh... I kinda screwed up a calculation when resetting the world, hehehe... it could've been worse, right? You could've just warped into the bottomless canyon as a pile of blood and guts! Hehehe... uh... you're not mad... are you?

Dakota: Mad? MAD!? I'm ECSTATIC! Finally, I can have my fill of the sausage platter without having to check the label!

Lilith: Oh! Well... that's... good?

Dakota: Oh I am going to make the shit out of babies! I will rebuild this castle's army with my own womb if need be! LOOK OUT, HUNKY BOYS, DAKOTA'S TROLLING FOR A MATE!

But first things first.

Oh thank goodness, this shop sells it too!

I'm already out of money after buying that heart seal and two heal staves. I've got some trinkets I can sell for spare cash if need be, but the message is clear: this time around, I'll have to be careful with money.

But that heart seal was crucial.

Oh Jacob. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.

It appears I have underestimated you and Felicia. Just a little bit, but enough for me to be kicking myself. I failed to grasp your potential.

Now, as you know, I dismissed Felicia and Jacob as worthless. That was, I've come to realize, a rookie mistake. No shame in that, of course, I was, after all, still technically a rookie when I made that rookie mistake. But it was a mistake nonetheless. I deemed them worthless to train because they have the nonexistent potential to grow I'd expect from a trained veteran, and yet in all other ways they were like like a rank amateur.

They have the stats of a rank amateur.

They have the weapon levels of a rank amateur.

But you see, and this is the important part I so crucially missed lass time... they also have the learning speed of a rank amateur. I now have a tier 2 unit who, if nothing else, can gain tier 2 levels at blinding speed. Now normally this would not be remotely good enough to salvage Jakob considering he will peak halfway through my mission and then suck forever.

At least at fighting.

...But what if I were to give him a different role? One that doesn't remotely rely on stats? One that relies exclusively on skills, skills that he can get way earlier into my journey than I could otherwise possibly hope for?

...What if I made him what Robin once referred to as a “rally bot”?

The strategist class will allow him to get Rally Resistance very shortly while still allowing him to heal while he's my only healer. Then when I can, I'll work to get him Rally Defense by having him class change into a wyvern lord since he seems more strength-focused than magic-focused anyway. That'll be a class he'll have to get through marriage or friendship, but probably marriage. At that point, when he runs out of room to grow, I can then have him reassigned solely to rally duty to provide us with powerful defensive auras and bonuses that will be crucial to various strategies, and then I can have his child take over!

Oh my dear Jakob, you have served me, and will continue to serve me, very well.

And I have a truly delightful retirement plan in store for you, my good man.

I've also done some strategic redecorating of the wonderful new land of West Dakota. These walls in particular are excellent. I shall make an effort to place everything useful and breakable inside them in the event of a castle siege.

Hello, what's this? Lilith tells me that these things just sort of spilled in through the void between realities when she sent me back in time. Well, finders keepers!

Another side effect of the time travel is that now I apparently can venture into other realms to visit the people who got in on this pan-dimensional castle action in other realities. Fascinating. I made myself a calling card, but the space for personalized messages is shockingly confining. After trying to put something special and personalized on it, I gave up and then decided to just place back the original message of “Pleased to meet you” on the card, but somehow it wouldn't fit anymore, like trying to re-wrap a slightly-eaten bun from the bakery.

Also, I moved Lilith's temple here. Not the most elegant of placements, I know...

...But an extremely tactically sound one.

Visitors? Already!? Happy day!

Some obvious decisions are made.

Dakota: Hello... stranger?

Robin: My name is Robin. Listen, miss...

Dakota: Dakota.

Robin: Dakota. Was that a young lady with long blue hair I saw just now?

Dakota: Oh, you mean Lucina? She just left. Gave me an adorable hat!

Robin: LUCINA!? She was here!?

Dakota: Yep. Do you know her?

Robin: ...You could say that. Do you know which way she went?

Dakota: She kind of just vanished, actually. But if you hurry and search around maybe you can still find her! ...Especially if you weren't lugging that ridiculous bookshelf around...

Robin: Fine, I get the picture. Take it. We'll meet again, Dakota. Or at least I suspect so.

Dakota: Count on it.

Oh, I forgot to mention last time, but Yato chose me again. Huh. So maybe legendary weapons don't hate vaginas. Maybe.

Oh, colossally-inaccurate, universally male statues. I've almost missed you.

I think that's enough preparation for now, time to regroup with my siblings...

And have a nice little chat with DEAR. OLD. DAD.

Xander: Father, I have returned.

Garon: So I see. Well then, I'll have your report.

Xander: We dealt a grievous blow to the enemy's forces and wounded every member of the Hoshidan royal family. Thanks to a brilliant strategy from Dakota, there were minimal troop losses on our side, and no severe injuries among our elite-

Garon: Dakota!? You mean to say... she's here? ...Fascinating. Bring her before me.

Xander: At once, Father!

Dakota: Greetings, Father! Words cannot express the... emotions... I feel upon seeing you again!

Garon: ...Likewise. Hm... how curious...

Dakota: What's curious, Father?

Garon: That, right there. For as long as you've been here I've never heard you call me anything other than “Papa Garon”.

Iago: Nor have I, my liege!

Dakota: Oh Father, my time in our hated enemy's midst has only caused me to realize how childish I had been! I've decided to put aside such childish pet names... for good.

Garon: ...I will be frank: Why have you returned to us?

Xander: F-father!?

Elise: Father, how can you possibly say that?

Iago: The king will say whatever he pleases, young lady! Now answer him, Dakota!

Dakota: Are you referring to the weeaboo savages' little attempt to make me turn traitor?

Garon: ...Attempt?

Dakota: Oh Father, it was the most ridiculous thing! A bunch of bizarre invaders exploited my presence to kill their queen, nearly killing me in the process might I add, and the Hoshidans had the audacity to try and convince me it was the work of Nohr! NOHR! I kid you not! I fail to remember seeing a single Nohrian who glowed purple when they weren't too busy being invisible, yet still they clung to their bald-faced lie like a bunch of children!

Garon: …

Dakota: So yes, I didn't believe for one second that they were from Nohr. I didn't believe for one second they were of this world, for that matter! They were positively... otherworldly. ...Say, didn't you say something to similar effect about that lovely sword you gave me? Would you happen to know anything about these creatures?

Garon: I have nothing to say on that matter at this time.

Iago: Indeed!

Dakota: As you wish, Father.

Garon: Dakota... what is that atrociously gaudy sword you hold in your hand? What happened to Ganglari?

Iago: I was about to ask the same question, my liege!

Dakota: Destroyed, I'm afraid. But take heart, for it did not die in vain, Father! The shrapnel was used by those Purple Ones to assassinate the queen of Hoshido!

Garon: ...By whom you mean your mother.

Dakota: Ah! Yes, they may have said words to that effect. I didn't believe them, of course, but Xander tells me that apparently it's true? I'm Hoshidan by blood? Then let me just say how grateful I am that you rescued me from that savage land and instilled some basic culture in me!

Garon: ...You have not answered my first question. What. Is. That. Sword?

Dakota: Katana, actually. It's called the Yato. Shortly after the assassination, this blade emerged from a statue of their little dawn dragon and chose me as its appointed wielder.

Garon: You would carry a holy weapon of our hated enemy in my presence!?

Dakota: But Father, is this not perfect? The Hoshidans' own gods have grown ashamed of their own people and have given me their blessing to save the savages from themselves! This weapon in my hands is absolute proof that the gods are unanimous in their approval of Nohr's glorious mission!

Garon: ...Hmph. Well spoken.

Iago: Perhaps, my king... or perhaps it's a sign that Dakota is on some other mission! A Hoshidan mission!

Dakota: Oh, hello there, Iago! I didn't realize you were here!

Iago: Didn't realize...? I've been standing beside your father and talking this whole time, impudent fool!

Dakota: Oh! You must forgive me, this throne room has such a large ceiling, I sometimes assume I'm just hearing an echo.

Iago: ECHO!?

Dakota: Yes, like that! Garon, if I may speak, in my humble opinion...

Garon: Oh yes, we all know how humble your opinions can be, Dakota.

Dakota: ...I fail to see the purpose of that man. If you want somebody sitting on your shoulder, repeating everything you say, why, surely that's the work of a little pet parrot, not a court sorcerer!

Garon: (snorts)

Iago: M-my king!

Garon: Very well, Dakota. You may keep that blade. For now. However, there is a bit of a problem, Dakota.

Dakota: Oh, do tell!

Garon: While my faith in you is... demonstrable... there remains the issue that the decision is not entirely up to me. King though I may be, I still must answer to the great dragon Anankos who watches over us all.

Dakota: Ooh! Is it time for you to talk to the magical statue on the ceiling that speaks words only you can hear, Father!?

Garon: Indeed it is, Dakota. Quiet, please...

Dakota: …

Garon: …

Dakota: ...Father? What did the voices say?

Garon: They said that you are to be accepted among us once again, on one condition.

Dakota: Name it, Father! There is no ocean I would not cross, no castle I would not storm, just for a chance to get next to you!

Dakota: Understood, father! It shall be done!

Hahahaha, yeah, Anankos my fabulous becaped ass. It's blatantly obvious he's just using that to disguise his real intentions for me behind the mysterious decrees of an alleged sacred dragon so he can do whatever the hell he wants without looking like some ludicrous mustache-twirling storybook villain. I'm quite certain he didn't buy my story at all, but to openly act on his suspicions in front of his children who all love me dearly would be patent foolishness.

How am I so certain he saw through my fantastic act so quickly? Well as perfect as my acting abilities are, War Journal, the fact remains that Garon, if he has so much as two brain cells to rub together, need only make a simple logical deduction to realize I'm trying to kill him. Let's follow Garon's train of thought, shall we?

Station one: “I am such a megalomaniacal shitlord that no loyalty to me born out of anything but pants-soiling terror could possibly survive five minutes of Hoshidan hospitality, or indeed being adopted by bears.”

Station two: “Dakota is not a coward.”

TRAIN RIDE OVER.

He's sent me on an obvious suicide mission, War Journal. He's provided me with no troops, and he's forbidden my siblings from providing me with any either. I have myself, and I have Jakob, and that's it.

Unfortunately for Garon, that's two soldiers too many to send Dakota Waterstone Vendelgate of Nohr on a suicide mission. I'll finish my preparations and then make my way to the ice tribe.

I'm on route now, War Journal, and... SNIFFFF! Ahh, sweet fragrant Nohrian air! How I've longed for a quiet moment to simply breathe you in! It's been too long! I'm finally home, and my siblings are on my side again! The only thing standing in the way of us being a happy family again is King Asshat himself, and all I have to do is either gain his genuine loyalty, prove I'm enough of an asset to be worth the obvious risk, or continue our passive-aggressive little mental chess game until I can find an opening!

We're stepping into the woods of the forlorn again. Ah, the downsides of going barefoot... is what anyone who has not gone through my fantastic training would say. My feet have walked through far nastier things than mere mud and bog water.

Why look, War Journal! Either this is a hilariously transparent assassination attempt on Garon's part, or “Don't loose mindless abominations against dragon and man within your own country” is another item I can add to the list of hilariously easy policy changes that will win the new King Xander unanimous support from the huddled masses.

Yes, King Xander. After the... nasty stuff last time, my ambition to become queen has basically been crushed forever. Now I simply want Garon dead without any of my siblings dying in the process.

But that can wait. For now, let's simply deal with these disgusting things.

Priority one is to clear out one of these little islands ASAP and set up a bottleneck behind which I can rest Jakob and have him heal whatever damage I take. Once we set that up the battle's already won and we can do this at our leisure. But speed is of the essence.

So this pair of faceless, each with the seal speed skill, will definitely slow that down. Not going north then.

Of the three directions faceless are in, I've ultimately decided to go south, since that's the space with the fewest enemies, and it also has a bottleneck separating that section of swamp from the others so I can do that bottleneck thing if they all come charging. But I'll have to clear this out quickly in case that happens.

In the interest of speed, I'm going to have to both take these herbs and pair up with Jakob to hit the proper one-round kill benchmark for the non-paired, non-leader units. Besides, I'm a worthy recipient of the herbs anyway. I've also made sure all of our healing supplies are on hand.

Begin.

I repeat, I'm not sure how the faceless will behave, so I have to kill them as quickly as possible in case they all rush me. We're too outnumbered to allow ourselves to also be surrounded.

Those two were the only ones to move for now, but I can't take the chance of that remaining true.

Problem: if the faceless attack from woods, I can't one-round them, and if they survive, I'll take needless damage from poison. And with Jakob occupied giving me that one strength point I need to one-round them, I can't have him heal me at the moment, so damage isn't desirable. Don't want to waste my few precious healing items. So instead of walking in now, I'm going to get closer and jump straight to that patch of trees a space south and east of that eastmost faceless. Both the adjacent areas those faceless could attack from do not have terrain bonuses.

More of the western faceless start moving. No big deal, I think I can handle this by-

Hello?

Dakota: SILAS!

Silas: You remember me!?

Dakota: Of course I do! How could I forget my most precious and beloved childhood friend!?

Silas: I... I was so worried that you had forgotten... it was so long ago...

I love time travel, War Journal.

Dakota: Elise!? No! Garon forbade you from helping! I can handle this on my own, I have it all planned out, no need for you to-

...Oh who am I kidding, War Journal, there's no way I can stop her from helping. The best thing to do is just have her under my command.

Dakota: Listen to me, Elise. You can come with me. But you have to do exactly as I say. No disobeying a single order, no matter what it is, no matter how much you may not want to follow it. I can keep you safe anywhere as long as you agree to that. Got it!?

Elise: Jeez, sis, why're you so worked up?

Dakota: PROMISE ME!

Elise: ...Hmph! Fine, I promise. Now can I help already? You look like you're in trouble!

Right, now to change my plans in response to this new development.

I think I can have Silas and Elise do what I planned on doing myself, and bottleneck the reinforcements for safe and easy training.

And Elise has an ability that's functionally the same as Jakob's “evasive partner” for basically anyone as long as she's supporting adjacently instead of in guard formation, so Silas's defenses will be airtight. I don't have too many worries about them at the moment. Time to finish my job.

Just as I mentioned before. I want to do this quickly on the off-chance there are surprise reinforcements directly behind Elise. That would be bad.

Step 9 on my path to greatness, and my beloved Dragon Fang returns!

More reinforcements on our side, and... Helloo... Xander apparently orchestrated all these surprise allies! I wonder what that's all about. Could it be he's caught on to how completely insane Garon is? Dare I dream?

We'll deal with that later. For now, time to check out these new allies. Let's start with Arthur...

Oh dear. That... that luck stat... is definitely unfortunate. There will be virtually no way to defend this man from critical hits. And people tell me I'm unlucky.

And yet... perhaps there's some way for me to turn this bad luck of his into something useful. Perhaps.

As for Effie, she seems pretty straightforward. It's good to finally have a soldier who's actually built to be a full-on tank now at least.

Now that I have a ton of lower-level allies to train up, rushing the leader myself seems like an unwise idea, so I regroup before working out how to take out these two faceless.

Convenient!

Oh dear. Arthur basically makes it so that nobody is safe from criticals when he attacks. Including him. That's... not a pleasant situation to work with, yet that destructive power is still so tempting. Especially since if I remember my studies correctly, he can promote to a critical-specializing berserker.

Arthur sadly missed, and Silas can't finish the job. But whoever the faceless next attacks will, at least.

All of these faceless are on the move. Time to build up a defensive wall at the bottleneck.

Jakob commences his training towards getting Rally Resistance, and Elise heals up our wounded allies as well while Effie guards the bottleneck.

Everyone's on the move now. Thankfully the remaining enemies on this side of our defensive Effie wall are minimal at this point.

Once these speed sealers arrive at the chokepoint, then Effie will no longer be agile enough to avoid being doubled left and right, but with Elise's defensive ability she'll take so little damage it won't even matter.

Due to Arthur's abysmal accuracy, I lure these two faceless out of the woods before I rush them with everyone but Effie. With Jakob beside me I will take minimal damage, but I'll still take some so Jakob can practice healing me.

A passable first level up from Effie. That resistance is encouraging.

I... I'm not sure if investing in this guy long-term is going to be good for my heart.

Those are some annoying skills, War Journal.

Gotta back everyone away and equip my dragon stone to do the most damage with a single attack.

I soften up the boss for Arthur to finish off. He misses, again, but I dual strike the faceless down and he still gains experience.

I move Jakob over one space so his Gentilhomme skill can bolster Effie's defenses now that an unfortunate dual guard prevents her from defeating speed sealer one.

...Keep at it, Elise.

With the speed sealers gone, I switch Effie for Silas so he can get some training. His defense isn't as good, but without those speed sealers making them double constantly, that's irrelevant, because it's still quite good, especially when bolstered by Elise's power.

Well said, Silas. While mediocre, that added point of defense is just what I needed, as it should stabilize healing you while dealing with the enemies and their two post-battle HP draining skills.

Due to a mathematical convenience, I alternate between his iron sword and bronze lance when dealing with these enemies to train him with both weapon types at once.

...Keep trying, Elise.

...Acceptable.

And we're done!

Excellent! Thanks to Xander and Elise, the army of West Dakota is looking a lot more meaty! Time to set off to see to this little rebellion!

Until then, War Journal!

Edited June 9, 2016 by Alastor15243